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STOP TRYING TO FIT IN - THE PARSHAH ON FIRE- BAMIDBAR

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Hillel Eisenberg avatar
Hillel Eisenberg

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This Torah class is brought to you by tora anytime.com. Judaism seems to put a tremendous emphasis on a on unity. Every day in d we ask unite our hearts. The giving of the was literally contingent on being unified. We say at the end of there is a literal in the says which it says don't have separate camps. That's what it means. Don't splinter off into different groups. Is preached in every school and in every seminary and in every sleepway camp. It's in every other music video. It's in every other song. We forever hear about we seem to put tremendous emphasis on unity within which is precisely why when you actually read the Tyra in general and in par in particular it seems so bizarre that the Tyra seems to take a very divisive stance. Hashem could have made us into one big one big nation and yet he didn't. He split us into 12 separate. And not only does the Tyra divide us into 12 separate, but it goes into tremendous detail about the differences between the 12, how they had to camp in different sections, how for a while they wouldn't marry into each other, how they always had different leaders with different flags and different colors and different emble emblems and different logos as if this was like one big giant spiritual color war. Why does it do that? And this divide wasn't just that way in the midbar. We had this divide while we were still in Mitsim. Apparently, this divide was so important to us that when we were at the edge of the Yamsuf, we had the mightiest army in the world about to slice our heads off and finally the sea splits, we don't just jump in like you'd expect us to with our pants are on fire. No, instead the Algashi says, "We carefully and in an organized fashion, we use precious minutes to orient ourselves and create 12 separate lines, one for each shave, to walk through the Yamsu." Doesn't that seem odd? Being together with our meant so much to us that even while running for our lives with our hair on fire, we spared precious minutes to orient ourselves in order to go out together with our particular shaven. Why just run like one big Claus? Wouldn't that be the most unified way? If we're all into unity, shouldn't one of the most important moments in all of Kaliso's history, the very genesis of our nation, come with extreme unity? Instead, it looked like 12 different tribes are walking out of its why in the world would the Tyra do it that way? And it doesn't even stop there. We finally get the Tyra and afterwards we erect 12 separate monuments to commemorate it. Does that make any sense? the Tyra which was contingent on us being and then we go ahead and we erect 12 separate stones commemorating it. How in the world does that make any sense and we have 12 separate stones on the and then we set up 12 separate stones after we cross the yard and the counts each and every person a million times in the desert according to their shabit. The entire safer bam minimbar is called safer pikudin the book of numbers where the tra counts each and every person according to their shaven almost as if to say don't you dare forget what shave it you're in why does the tyra do this doesn't that fly in the face of aus thera's constant categorization and compartmentalization of all the seems to pull us apart rather than bring us together why not just have as one big group why have 12 separate futam in the first place? What was their point? Why can't we all just be one big giant happy family sitting around the campfire with Joey Nukem singing kbak drinking arch and eating chalid? Why have the whole 12vatim arrangement? Doesn't it fly in the face of a and unity? Doesn't it divide and fragment? What exactly was it that hashem had in mind when counting us again and again and again according to our sha? Perhaps the answer is the following. When Hashem goes out of his way to painstakingly count each and every member of CLA and each and every shave and recorded in the Tyra, it's not meant to be mere historical facts. It's not some satisfy some heavenly yucky bookkeeper. It's to drive home the message that each and every member of our holy nation is important and integral. Each and every individual plays a role. Each and every person in class brings something to the table that nobody else does. The topk of shvet zulin is different than the topk of shvet gud. And the tkit of ruin is different than the tk of shim. And the tkit of kamki is not the same as the tapkuit of unclei. And the tapkuit of Ellie from London is not the same as from each and every person in as a tapid that the entire world relies on. You are not a number. You are not a statistic. You are a soul with a divinely instituted mission. when the entire spiritual galaxy is incomplete without you. I don't care who you are. I don't care what you look like. I don't care where you live. Everyone in by definition has a that the entire world relies on. And it's for this exact reason that the says if you save another Jewish person's life, it's as if you saved the entire world. What does that mean? You didn't save the whole world. You saved one person. The answer is that each person in Kalistro is needed by the entire world. And saving that person means saving the entire world. It's not merely saving a soldier in Hashem's army that can be replaced with another soldier. It's like saving the only soldier left in Hashem's army. It's like saving the only soldier who knows the codes to the nuclear bombs. And therefore, conversely, the says if one allows a Jew to die or otherwise be prevented in accomplishing his tkit, it's as if you destroyed an entire world because who knows what that person was going to accomplish spiritually? Who knows what spiritual effect he was going to have on the universe? It's like the Mishna says, there's no such thing as a redundant Jew. Another name for safer midbar is safer pakudim or numbers. The word pudim comes from the word tafkid mission purpose. The counting and the recounting and the re recounting of the Jews in the midbar wasn't for the sake of keeping a good record of the population. It wasn't for the heavenly accountants to ensure that they claim all the dependence on their tax return. It was to drive home the fact that yes, God knows your name and he needs you for the spiritual continuity of the world. It's empowering. When we divide the Jewish people into separate tribes and separate camps with separate flags and separate colors, we're not highlighting the differences. We are emphasizing the unique skills each and every shave possesses. What Naftali adds to the Jewish people is different than what Usher adds. And what Dun brings to the table is different than what Byammen does. All are critical. All are irreplaceable. And this concept was so important that you better believe when walking into the Yamsu at the very genesis of our nation, we made sure to be with our unique sha because each and every one of us fulfilling our unique tapit is the only way our nation our nation is successful. We use flags and signs and emblems to empower each member of Kaiser and to remind us that we all have strengths and we all have talents and we all have something unique that the entire nation relies on. Hashem does not want us to all be the same. He wants us to have our flag with pride and wave it following our inner tk. Now listen to this amazing thing the garra says. If someone threatens you to kill another Jew or else you yourself will be killed is that you are required to be killed instead of the other person and the says the reason is because who said that your blood is any better than his blood. Now think about that for a second. This applies across the board. That means if Raklan Khani would be walking down an alleyway on some side street in Benbra and a terrorist would jump out in front of him with a gun and would say, "See that guy over there?" And he points to some irreligious man who just walked out of his barber shop. You see that guy? Go kill that guy. Now is that has to take the bullet instead of that other guy. And the reason the gar says is because who said that's blood is any better than this guy's blood? Now think about that for a minute. Does that make any sense? Um is the greatest of the great. This guy is an irreligious barber. Learns 25 hours a day. This guy hasn't learned a word in his life. Raim hasn't said lashhara in 65 years. This guy can't keep his mouth shut. Raim swims in kadusha and tahara. This guy swims in local pools. What do you mean whose blood is redder? What does this even mean? The answer is that we know nothing. The answer is we haven't gotten a clue what is contained in the nishamas of people. The answer is that when you stand in front of another, you have absolutely no idea what you're looking at. You don't know what kind of nishama is standing before you. You don't know what the wars they've fought in silence. You don't know what they've endured, what they've survived. You don't know what palace of light is buried under their layers of external darkness. You don't know what they've meant what they're meant to become. You don't know what the one mitzvah they'll do that will change the world. You don't know what the divine blueprint they carry inside of them. You know nothing. And that's the point. In Hashem's eyes, the barber is not a background character. He's not a filler. He's not an extra in Raim Kayki's movie. He's a main character in his own internal story. And the spiritual world is completely incomplete without him. That's what it means to believe in the infinite value of every Jew. That's what it means to know that in Hashem's army, every soldier has a secret mission. And some of the most dangerous missions are assigned to the ones who look the most ordinary. We don't write people off in Claus Israel. We don't rank souls because in the eyes of heaven, that simple Jew might just be carrying the codes to Messiah, to redemption, because every Jew is priceless. Not hypothetically, not poetically, literally, unfathomably, eternally. Every single morning, the absolute first thing we say when we wake up is the last two words are, "How great is your amuna?" Now, let's ask an obvious question. Why does Hashem need to have amuna? Isn't it our job to have amuna? What does it mean? How great is your amuna? The answer is immediately after we thank Hashem for returning our nishas each day. We thank him for his amuna in us in the tki he placed in our souls in the fact that he entrusted us to accomplish a spiritual mission that the entire world needs to survive. When colors clash in an unorganized mess, you know what that's called? It's called graffiti. But when they all come into purpose and form an organized line, it's called a rainbow. All colors are merely the refraction of the same white light. It just bends a little to form a unique appearance. We too all come from the same forefathers and matriarchs, our holy o who shine their light throughout the prism of time and it got refracted into 12 different tribes. Each with its unique set of talents, each with its role to play and we all come together to form the rainbow which is kalisro. Each color plays its part. The tajbet otherwise known as Benak Duran, a Spanish saddic from the 1300s, he points out something remarkable. So he says the name of the Jewish people is Yro. He says the word Yusl is really an acronym of the first letters of each of the mos al is for and sin is for S. R is for R and Rifka. Olive is for Aram and L is for Leia. For we are their continuity. The fire that they started got divided 12 different ways. And each of us is entrusted with making sure that fire remains. This is why the ini writes that there's a that a schol has 12 windows which further reminds us that we don't all have to be the same. We don't all have to be identical. In fact, we can't be we are all unique in the eyes of Hashem. And that shouldn't that should that should be celebrated, not tolerated. The very name we give a sh is a bases which translates to mean a house of in gathering. What are we gathering exactly? It's a place where the lawyer sits next to the magir who sits next to the guy who does k who sits next to the musician who plays keyboard at weddings who sits next to the bar mitzvah who sits next to the mash from bunra all integral children of hashem all doing the holy work that hashem lovingly entrusted us to do the 12 windows in remind us that each and every yid is needed and the entire spiritual world is incomplete without it now here's the The problem is that it's hard. The problem is that it's so easy to simply say, "Listen, I'm just a regular person. I live in Muny. I have 6,000 other people in my grade. I live in Lakewood. I live in Burough Park. I live in Ursula. I'm one person on a block of 50,000 people. Or I live in Vancouver. I live in Jacksonville, Florida. I live in San Jose. I live in Sydney. What good am I? I'm a regular accountant. I live in Baltimore. I'm an actuary from Northwood Woodmir. What do you want from me? I'm not a Russa. I'm not a rabbitson. I'm not a rub. I'm not spiritually sophisticated. The world would be more than fine without me. Not only is this way of thinking wrong, it's dangerously wrong. And here's why. Hashem told Ara one starry night to go out of his tent and look up and see the stars. You see those stars? Hashem told him, "One day your descendants are going to be like those stars." So, you ever wonder what exactly Hashem meant by that? What? That we're going to one day grow to be as astronomically incalcable as the stars. a nation so large in number that we can't count them. That hasn't really ever panned out. The Jewish people have hovered between 13 and 19 million people for the duration of our history. When you compare that to the 2.83 billion Christians and the 1.89 billion Muslims and the 943 million Hindus and the 488 million Buddhist, that number is pathetically small. So what exactly did Hashem mean? So Raish as well as Falh explanation. He said, "Hashem wasn't telling Avan that his children will one day be as uncountable as the stars in the sky. Hashem was telling Avam that the same way you look up at a star amongst the millions of other stars." And it seems so small and insignificant and inconsequential and yet in reality is massive. There are stars that are more than a thousand times the size of the sun. So you put that into perspective. Earth is 7,918 miles in its circumference. The sun is 430,000 miles in its circumference. There are stars that are a thousand times as large as the sun. Meaning, there are stars that are 430 million miles in their circumference. And that they appear to the human eye as a little flicker in the night. A star seems so small and insignificant and yet can be massively consequential to the health of the galaxy and the gravitational pole and the ozone layer. So too, your descendants, Hashem tells Abram, might view themselves as small, as irrelevant, as insignificant, and yet a reality of 430 million megawatts of holiness inside of them, and are massively consequential to the health of the entire spiritual galaxy. There is no such thing as a redundant Jew. There's no such thing as a redundant yid. Each one holds up the entire world, literally. This is why we use the term yurashay. Ever thought about it? Why do we use the phrase fear of the sky? What does that even mean? Why don't we say what we mean to say the person has orim or why do we say he has shim? The answer says is that real fear of hashem isn't just about being afraid of punishment or doing the wrong thing. It's the deep soul shaking awareness that your life affects the entire cosmos, the entire sky. Every small action, every word you speak or don't speak matters. Every mitzvah you do or mitzvah you don't do. Every moment you hold back from anger, every smile you gave when you should have given it or smile you didn't give when you should have given it. Every drop of ink you learned or didn't learn. Every single you thing you do rattles the heavens and affects the entire spiritual infrastructure of the universe. That's your shamayim. It's not fear of the sky. It's the reverence of someone who knows they walk beneath a living, breathing heaven and that their every step sends shock waves through it. When we say someone is Yuriim, we're saying this person lives like everything he does matters. Like the heavens themselves are tied to his every choice. That's the fire behind your knowing that when I walk this earth, I'm walking under a sky that's not only alive, but it's watching and listening and reacting to every move I make. Listen to this story. So for many hundreds of years, a horrible disease called yellow fever killed millions and millions of people around the world. And people were essentially clueless as to how to stop it. The fever was a ferocious illness that caused the victims to turn yellow with jaundice and eventually they lose all functionality in their organs and it destroyed entire cities and it brought widespread fear to many parts of the world for close to 400 years. In the year 1927 in the country of Ghana in West Africa, a man named Mr. Aibi contracted yellow fever and he went to see a doctor in the Rockefeller yellow fever research laboratory and the doctor took a blood sample from him and he gave him some medicine and he sent him home where he recovered and he overcame the illness completely unbeknownst to Mr. Aibi. His blood was then given to an American doctor named Max Filer who used the blood to extract the yellow fever strain and experiment on it and slowly soften the strain and eventually inject it into humans in the hopes that they could learn to overcome the soft strain which would eventually help them overcome the larger strain if they ever contracted it. After extensive research from that blood sample, Filer developed the yellow fever vaccine, which eventually became known as the 17D vaccine, which effectively eradicated yellow fever in most of the world and is estimated to have saved close to 100 million lives since its discovery and is considered one of the most effective and long-lasting vaccines in medical history. Here's the craziest part. Mr. for a CBI when his whole life not knowing that it was his blood sample that led to the vaccine. He had absolutely no idea that it was his strain that was still being injected into people around the world, saving them from one of the most horror diseases to have ever strike the planet. One man's blood saved hundreds of millions of people. And he had no idea one man's blood would go on to save hundreds of thousands of people every year for decades. And he had absolutely no idea. Every single one of us is the exact same. Each and every one of us has spiritual blood, sweat, and tears that we shed and mountains we've climbed and tests we've overcome that saved the entire world and we had no idea about it. How foolish to think we're redundant. How foolish to think we're unnecessary. Every single one of us has a tough kid running through our bloodstream that the entire world needs. We may not ever get a Nobel Prize for it. We may not get a plaque on the wall for it. We may not get honored at a dinner for it. No one is giving us shishi for it. No one is standing up for us when we walk into the room. We may not even know we accomplished our tapkid. But Hashem knows. And at the end of the day, he's the only one that matters. Each and every yid contain the codes to the spiritual world. And there's no exception to this rule. Look at this fascinating quote from Adolf Hitler from a book called Hitler's Apocalypse on page 26. quote, "If only one country, for whatever reason, tolerates a Jewish family in it, that family will become the germ center for fresh sedition. If one Jewish boy survives, even without any Jewish education, even without any synagogue, no Hebrew school, Judaism will still be in there. For it is in his soul, the Jewish spirit has been around from the moment these people were formed. And there is no Jew, not a single one, who does not personify it." Adolf Hitler. That's a scary quote. Do we see that in others? Do we look at another yet and see a man carrying a spark that the entire world needs? Do we feel that way when we see ourselves? If the people who want to kill us see it, then so must we. Listen to this story. There was a special needs boy named Rafi who loved being in Schol and helping out in Schol and coming early to Davening and staying to put the sidurum away. And he couldn't say the words. He wasn't sure which way to hold the sitter, but he was there day in and day out like a soldier. And being that this took place many, many years ago when there weren't many school options for special needs kids, he had to go to public school sadly. So that's where he went and he made do with it. One year as the non-Jewish holiday season approached, the public school that Rafi went to announced that they were having an exmiss holiday song recital where every one of the students would get up on a stage in front of the whole school and all the teachers and all the parents and they would perform a holiday song. So Rafi excitedly came home and told his parents about the recital and asked him if they could come but they both looked at these their calendar and they said they were busy that day and they wouldn't be able to make it. So Rafi later that night in he marches over to the RV of the show Rabb Shapiro and he said Rabbi my school is having a holiday recital and my parents can't come to watch me can you come now the RV wasn't exactly sitting around twiddling his thumbs all day. He had speeches to prepare and she yurum to give. He said Rafael I'll see what I can do. I hope to be there. The day of the recital came and Rabbi Shapiro raced to the school and he got there late and he's running in and the security passes by a security guard and the security guard says, "Rabbi Shapiro, are you Rabbi Shapiro?" "Yes." "Oh, okay, good. I'm glad you're here because Rafi has been asking me if you came." And then Rabbi Shapiro walks into the office to see where he should go. And the secretary says, "Are you Rabbi Shapiro?" Rafy's been telling us the whole week that you're coming. He's very excited. Rabbi Shapiro walks into a packed auditorium. Hundreds of students and teachers and parents came to watch this exmus recital. Bishop took a seat in the back and they watched as each and every kid got up to sing some X-M. And after each kid, the entire audience applauded. Kid after kid after kid after kid. Then it was Rafy's turn. Rafie couldn't walk properly. Rafie couldn't talk properly. He couldn't sing properly. He had to be helped onto the stage by some teachers. He was holding a guitar that he didn't know how to play. And he began strumming it. And he started singing. I had a little drrele. I made it out of clay. And when it's dry and ready, oh dre, I shall play. Oh, Dre, Dre, Dre, I made it out of clay when it's dry and ready. Oh, Dre, I shall play. And he sang it with enthusiasm. And he sang with a smile and he sang with pride and he sang it with emotion. And then he finished. And there was silence. People just sat there. They never heard that song before. They just sat there. But there was one man in the back who shot up like a rocket to Reverb Shapiro. And he screamed out in the top of his lungs, "Way to go, Rafie! Way to go! Hooray! Great job, Rafie! Amazing." And he stood up and he began clapping. As the recital came to its conclusion, let me ask you something. Did anyone else in the room realize the intricacies of a Jewish soul? No. Did Rafie realize or know what a drrele truly stands for? No. Did anyone in the crowd realize that Exmus is a celebration of Jews no longer being the chosen people and the drreel is the symbol of refus of us refusing to give in no matter what? No. Did anyone in that room truly understand Rafy's pain and fear and anxieties and confusion and self-doubts and hardships and troubles and challenges in life? No. You know who did? each and every one of the heavenly angels who were listening to every one of Rob's words who were shedding tears at the courage he displayed who were broadcasting his performance on billboards in heaven for the entire gun to watch. Some people make the mistake in life and saying who am I? I have dyslexia. I have ADHD. I don't have a great upbringing. My parents were divorced. I take 15 pills a day. I got kicked out of six high schools. I can barely sit down and learn. I have a hard time connecting to Fila. I haven't opened the sitter in 10 years. I'm a nothing. This is a mistake. Every single person in Clyro has their song that they sing that the angels in heaven gather around to listen to and to cry to. Because at the end of one's life, the only question Hashem will ask us is, did we climb our mountain? I don't care about your neighbor's mountain. I don't care about your friend's mountain. I don't care about your RV's mountain. I don't care about your brother's mountain. I don't care about anyone else's mountain but yours. Did you climb your mountain? The one I gave you. The challenges, the issues, the problems I gave you. Did you climb that mountain? Because at the end of one's life, the litmus test in determining if your life was successful or not is not how high you climbed up your neighbor's mountain. It's how high you climbed up yours. That is the only thing that matters. Each and every member of Clyzil is a soldier in Hashem's army tasked with a mission only he can carry out. He is a star that the entire universe relies on. Every moa, every shaness checker, every mikvah attendant, every av checker, every suka builder, every matzah baker, every gamba, every rabbi, every congregant, every bad, every fundraiser, every beggar, every rich man, every man, woman, and child, every single one of us combine with the rest of Israel to form the rainbow that is the Jewish people. Every single one of us has a special place in the star-filled night Aram saw so many years ago. Every one of us has to live life as if we are Hashem's only child because in his eyes we are. You've just experienced another Torah class brought to you by tora anytime.com.