Ohr Naava speech - Jewish Women and the Lie of "Second Place"

Okay, first of all, it's an honor to be back. It's one place, it's one thing to come and speak somewhere once, but it's a whole another thing to speak somewhere twice. So, I appreciate the honor. Just with regards to Yakovi, I have this of learning with him every single morning. I go to deal and we were talking about Oruronava. I forgot why. I think he saw that I had a flyer about it and he's like, "What's that?" He's like, "I don't want to do this. I need to do this. It's long overdue." He's not a speaker, but I usually often go to places with him. We do a little question answer session. And then his wife, I learn in his house. His wife comes running in and she's like, "I got to get involved." So, it's a it's a to bring them over here one day. I want to I want to share with you a perspective which I used to think was a given, but I'm slowly realizing it's not a given. And I'm very passionate about this. It's a perspective that I think should be on every billboard. It should be on every archway before every girl school. It should be on every Stanley branded the following perspective. This really should be three separate speeches, but being that I'm only here like once every two months and I go to different continents often, so I'm going to sort of cram three mega ideas into one speech, so I apologize. Have you ever thought to yourself living as a Jewish girl in Lakewood, New Jersey, that girls don't matter in our religion? >> Have you ever thought to yourself between yourself that girls are second fiddle? Have you ever looked at Judaism as a religion where men serve God and women cook spaghetti? >> You ever live in a yeshiva bakar dominated city with the largest in the world, the largest kyle in the world and think to yourself, am I relevant at all? This is an extremely dangerous mentality. I want to share with you a perspective which I hope will enable you for the rest of your life to never even have those thoughts creep into your mind ever again. I want to begin with a question. I think if you ask most people how many religions there have been in world history, they'd be able to say like four or five they can name. If you're really good at history, you could think of six. But historians estimate that the number of religions in all of world history is somewhere between 5,500 and 6,000 major religions and close to 100,000 subreligions. And out of all of those religions, only one has been around unchanged for 4,000 years. And that is the Jewish people. longer than the Hans Chinese, longer than the Eastern Mongolians and the Western Mongolians, longer than the Incas and the Aztecs and the Mayans, longer than any African tribe. Us. What's our secret? How are we still here? And this despite facing the worst persecution in all of world history, no one has been more brutalized, murdered, kicked, raped than us. And yet here we are. Do you know that there has been more wars in the city of Jerusalem than any other other city on earth? And second place, Constantinople, modern day Istanbul, is like like way in another solar system. How are we still here? What exactly is our secret? They they say a funny story about an evil king who had a whole bunch of Jews in his empire. And one day he decided to make a bunch of new evil decrees. And he gets all the Jews into the town square and he's saying rattling off these new evil horrible decrees and there's women who are fainting. There's kids crying. There's men who are like trying to put their hands over their their kids' ears. They don't hear. There's this old Jewish woman in the back who is laughing hysterically. She can't stop laughing. So at first the king ignores her, but then eventually he just says, "Okay, old lady in the back, what's going on?" So she turns to him and says, "You really think that you're the first person to have started up with the Jews?" "Yeah, you really think so?" "Well, you're not." There was a man, his name was Parro. You know what he wanted to do to us? Annihilate all of us. You know where he is? He's gone. You know what we did to him? We turned him into matzah. There was a guy, his name was Hmon. You know what he wanted to do to us? Annihilate all of us. You know where he is? He's gone. You know what we did to him? We turned him into Hamashen. There was a guy, his name was Auntie. You know what he wanted to do to us? Crush all of us. You know where he is? He's gone. You know what he did then? We turned him into LatKas. So this woman looks at this king and says, "Mr. King, when I'm standing you, he I'm standing here listening to you tell me all these horrible new evil decrees. I'm thinking to myself, I can't help it. When you are gone and we're still here, what food will we one day turn you into?" It's a funny joke. What makes us so certain? I believe the answer is embedded in the month of Adar. I want to ask five questions that any thinking person should ask about puranad. Everyone in this room is a thinking person otherwise you wouldn't be here. Here are five simple questions to anyone who slows their life down enough to think. Rarity number one, why why don't we just have happiness on the of why does it have to start all the way at the beginning of the month? Pretty basic question. We don't say right. We just have we have that's it. We don't say just when sus comes we're happy like we don't extend it to the beginning of the month. No, no, just relax. just had when it comes to perm all of a sudden we bring it to the beginning of the month why question number two what's up with the whole focus of sim was a big miracle it was very nice but there was like we got the to that was major day of sim we have an avod of on pes it's not the day of sim but hey like we got out of Egypt pretty big huge miracle it's not like the day of simum all of a sudden has like a monopoly on sim why question number three what's up with giving us we go berserk bananas you ever thought about it why why are we giving on per why don't we give on khan maybe we should give on sukus so you're going to say well that's crazy well it's only crazy because we don't do it right why not what does prim have to do with shahus question number four the name pim it's a bizarre name. Well, how waddled to Atlantic City, played blackjack, and then to figure out what day it we should he should kill us. Oh, that's the name. P him. Atlantic City. Blackjack. What? What? The last question, the most obvious and most crucial question is what exactly was the big deal? Again, very politically incorrect question, but what was the big deal? Okay, so there was an evil guy who started up with us, wanted to kill us, and we miraculously were saved. Isn't that three4ers of Tanakh? Isn't that all of Jewish history? We don't have a yontiff celebrating the walls of Eureka miraculously falling down and Yahushua not getting decimated by the five armies who were about to wipe him out because at the last second they went mentally insane and the sun literally stayed in the sky extra didn't set only time in world history the sun didn't set so that Hashem could wipe out an army for us. No y for that. Most people don't even know what happened. No y for that. That doesn't get yontiff. Okay. What about Dvra who w beat Cyro and who had 900 chariots and Dvra comes victorious. No Yantiff for that. What about Gidon who attacked the Midyanim and beat them with 9,000 soldiers versus 100,000? No Yantiff for that. Okay. What about Shimshin who beat the Pushim? He killed a thousand pushim with the jawbone of a donkey. No yim for that. Now that's not good enough for you people. What about Sanarev who exiled 10 entire and then was about to exile the remaining two and at the last second we were miraculously saved. No y for that. Okay. What about David saving all of Israel from the pushim? No y for that. Kill golas. No y for that. What about the entire land of Arrow was about to be stolen by the Africans before Alexander the Great miraculously at the last second saved? No. Yumpt for that. What? So there was a bad guy named Hammon who wanted to start up with us and we were miraculously saved. Yeah, that's the whole I believe the answer to these questions could shed a lot of light on not just why we survive Jewish history, but back to our original question of the importance of women. I want to begin with a story. So, I I can't move too far from this. So, I'm a little hijacked over here. But I'm going to I'm going to put it in my pocket. So, I was once in downtown Cincinnati, Ohio, and I'm walking in the evening, very crowded area, and I see on a street corner, there's this Christian preacher who is standing on a box preaching whatever they preach and scream about the end of the world is coming. He He's not getting a whole crowd because he's not very interesting. He turns and he sees me, a a noticeably religious Jew, and he licks his lips and he says, "Well, well, well, who do we have here? Step right up." So, of course, I'm going to go over to, you know, and people see me coming over. So, of course, they're gonna It's like a spiritual boxing match going on. He says, "Get over here, Mr. Jub Boy. you know that you're wrong. Why do you even bother? I said, "We're not wrong." He said, "Oh, really? What does the word Eloai mean?" I'm like, "God, my God." He's like, "What does the word Elohim mean?" I'm like, "Also God?" Wrong. It's plural cuz there's multiple gods. There's God and there's his son, Yoshka. And the whole crowd goes, "Oh, I'm like, are you claiming to know Hebrew? What does the word vab mean? What does the word mean? What does the word? What does that mean? You have no idea what you're talking about." And the crowd goes, "Oh." So this guy, he like orients himself a little bit. He's like, "Okay, okay. I see how this could be." So then he throws that one a last ditch effort. He says, "If you guys are really the chosen people, then why do so many bad things happen to you?" So I turn to them all and I say, "I got breaking news for you. We are not the chosen people. There's the guy in the back, Larry. This guy just said, "We're not the the Jews. You're going to Larry, get over here." I said, 4,000 years ago, in a world run a muk by egotistical murderous maniacs, in a world barereft of even the tiniest shred of morality, in a world cloaked with darkness, in a world with adultery and idolatry and murder everywhere. There was one man who chose light. There was one man who chose good. There was one man who chose moral, ethical behavior. There was one man who chose God. And because that one man chose God, therefore, God chose him. And it's true, there have been many times throughout Jewish history where the Jews forgot to choose their God. But we've been here long before the Christians. We'll be here long after the Christians. Because in a world that forever chooses money and power and lust and prestige, we are forever choosing God. And I walk away. You see, when Abra got a knock on the door one day and it was Hashem, my name is God. How are you? I see that you are choosing light. I see that you're choosing good. I see that you're choosing moral, ethical behavior. I see you're choosing me. Well, congratulations. I am hereby choosing you on condition that you keep on choosing me. I will make you a deal. You promise me that you and your children will forever choose me, choose light, choose harmony, choose morality. I will make you indestructible. I will bless you. Not only that, I will bless those who bless you. I will curse those who curse you. I will fill your lives, your homes with unimaginable light. You will go to heights no other nation will go. As long as you choose me. And the extent in which you choose me is the extent that I choose you. That's our deal. Aram says, "You got to sell. You got yourself a deal." That right there is our secret. We are indestructible cuz we made a deal with Hashem. We choose him, he chooses us. We don't choose him. H him, he doesn't choose us. This has been the pattern throughout Jewish history. We're sitting in for 210 years. We are crushed. We are broken. Jewish history should have been over with long before it even started, but it wasn't. You want to know why? because we didn't stop choosing Hashem. The says we were crushed. Finally, after 210 years, we cried out our went up to and in the next notim later in the next heard, he remembered the deal. Oh, he remembered the deal that he made with. Oh, now you remember where were you for 210 years. You know what Hashem says? Where were you? You could have been this a long time ago. Only when we chose Hashem, only when we got ourselves together did he say, "Now it's time to come out." And we finally get out all of a sudden in the middle of the Yamsuf Miriam and all the women are are whipping out these drums and these instruments. You ever thought about it like where in the world did you get these instruments from? just all of a sudden you don't have time to make matzah because you're so just in a rush and all you have you have tubas on you. You know what the mha says? Listen to this. The it asks this question. Where in the world do they have these instruments? You know what it says? It says because when you realize the only way forward is with happiness is with pride is with joy. You better believe we're going to have instruments ready to go. They were ready to go. Miriam knew a secret. The only way forward is with people who are joyfully marching their way through the Yamsuf. We get to Amalik. We're attacked. It's like a gazillion versus none. We're malnourished ex- prisoners. Jewish history should have been over right then. What happens? Mosher lifts his hands. We're victorious. But his hands get tired. They go down. Suddenly we're getting defeated. Oh, he lifts them back up. Where? Oh, it was his hand magical hands. What is this like an arcade game? So thear asked this question. You know what the says? He lifts his hands. And she says, "It's not you guys. Choose Hashem. We're victorious." His hands got tired. He went down. Suddenly, we're like working on our skills. Taekwondo, we lose. That is our secret. Over and over and over again in Jewish history. The Bakdush is destroyed. We are completely shellacked. There are literal rivers of blood in your written, not poetic, actual rivers of blood. That's how many people were slaughtered. We are sitting in the rivers of Babylon. Al- Naraso. The Pik says, "We hung up our harps." Okay, we're sitting on the roof al hung up our harps. Why do you have harps on you? I just had a fire not so long ago in my apartment. Okay, I wake up Friday night. I my my alarm went off. I go into my dining room. There's a fire. Not like a havilla candle, napkin, cute little put it out like my whole apartment is on fire. I have 10 seconds to leave or I will die. I'm not rummaging in my closet for my drum kit. I play the drums. I'm not going for my tuba. I grab my kid and we out. These people are are by the skin of their teeth. They're making it out of out of their their I'll rub them beside Kino. They have their tubas on them, their harps. The answer is yeah. When you know that's the most important thing, when you know it's all about, do you joyfully choose Hashem? Do you sing and dance down the road of life or you just trod down the road of life? Well then, yeah. Yeah, you bring that. 1492 August 2nd. All the Jews who by the way left mid left and mo a lot of them ended up in Spain. They're getting kicked out and killed. One man is allowed to stay. Dia Barbarbanel. Why? cuz he made Fern and Isabella super rich. They said, "Everybody's got to go. All millions of Jews got to go. You could stay cuz you like we like your money." He's like, "If my people go, I go." He walks out into the street. This is Tishov. August 2nd, 1492 is the Tishov. He sees all the Yidden. These are wealthy yidden. They're dragging their little man. They have a little nothing. They have a little just a sack. They're all sad and depressed. They're walking towards the gates of the city. The Abarbino runs to a local restaurant, goes to the back. There's a band. He gives each one a hundred bucks. He says, "Follow me." He places this band at the front gates of the city and says, "Start playing joyous music." And he gets up in a box. And he says, "Rabbi Shai, I'm well aware that today is Tishab. I'm also well aware that you cannot listen to music on Tishab. I'm well aware. However, I'm also well aware that the Jewish people are going to their next train station on this long gulus. And the only way we'll get there is if we dance there because that's the only way. We will not get there if we're sad and depressed. We will not get there if we're gloom and doom. So in one of the most surreal moments in all of Jewish history, the Abarbel forms a massive circle and dances his way out of Spain on. That is our secret. This is the cycle. Then there was Khalminiki in 1648. Bohemia 1744, Austria 1843, 1915, the Russian army killed 100,000 Jews. We don't even know about this. In 1917, 200,000 Jews were killed by Ukrainian peasants. In 1918, 1919, 120,000 Jews were killed and close to 500 pgrams in Europe. 500 October 7th. And then obviously came the Holocaust. 6 million Jews. 6 million Jews. That's 4,000 Jews a day. That's 170 Jews an hour killed for four years. 170 Jews killed every hour. We should have been crushed. No one should be here. Everyone here, I think, or most of you are Ashkanaz and Jews came from there. And yet here we are. Because on the day that Awitz was liberated, all the soldiers, the Russian soldiers are taking all the prisoners out to freedom. There's one prisoner, an old Jewish man. He's not moving. He is sitting on his bunk. He's watching everyone else leave. And eventually a Russian soldier who liberated Awitz said like, "Bro, and now or never." So this old man, he walks slowly to the gates of Awitz and he stops right at the gate. This is the last survivor to leave Awitz. And he says, "Master of the world. Never in my life did I have as close of a relationship to you as I did in here. Every day I thought about you. Every day I dreamed about you. Every morsel of bread I ate, I thought about you. I thanked you. I cried to you. I ded to you. I pleaded for you." He said, "Master of the world, look up. Look down from your heavenly throne. We were crushed. We were broken. We were laughed at. We were beaten. We were murdered. We were raped. We were shredded apart. We still thought about you. We still cried for you. We still dumb for you. We still sing for you. Now it's your turn to choose us. That is our secret. We choose Hashem, he chooses us. The single most important ingredient in Judaism is not is not even Tyra. It's not even mitzvah. It is pride to be on Hashem's team. It's the prerequisite to everything. You could have everything else and still have nothing. I'm not saying if you're proud to be a Jew, so therefore you don't need everything else. We're not reform. The single biggest prerequisite is are you proud to be on Hashem's team or not? If you take a bird's eye view of Jewish history, you will notice that every single time we were about to be annihilated, the reason given by Kazal has nothing to do with black and white sin. Never. Did you know that 600,000 Jews left Mits? How many did not leave Mits? Anyone know of the Jews that were in Mitsim left? So if 600,000 Jews left and only one left, that means how many did not leave? Anyone go to math? >> 2.4 4 million Jews did not leave Mits. They were killed. What happened to those Jews? What happened to those Jews? So, we all know the medish that says they dressed a little Egyptian. They spoke a little Egyptian. They had Egyptian sounding names. You ever thought about it like what? These were like by every other metric good Jews. They cuz they spoke a little Egyptian because they dressed a little Egyptian. That's your issue. That's how 2.4 million Jews are killed. Make any sense? The migilla the garra says you want to know why we were destined to be annihilated at the times of H because we were because we went to party. Ah that makes a lot of sense. Hello we're thinking or nava girls. What are you talking about? We were eating kosher there. We were keeping because we went to we went to at the white house. That's your problem are killed because that that you're okay with that make any sense to anyone? These are chal I'm all into honoring your friend. I'm all into that. Respect your friend to warrant the death of 24,000 people that the mus is destroyed. Why? Why? Because hello anybody cuz I don't like the way you spice your chins cuz I'm Moroccan and and you're Yemen so whatever I don't get you see eye to eye. That's what destroyed the B mikdash. Here's a story. Not long ago, I was in Philadelphia with my wife in a place called Penn's Landing and we're staying at a hotel and right in front of the hotel, there's a battleship that's parked there. So, I go check it out in the morning. We check it out and we got a tour of this World War II battleship. I'm checking it out. All the rooms, all the different workshops in there. At the end of the tour, I turn to the tour guide and I say, "Really cool battleship." But where were the bats? >> They didn't sleep. So he says, "Come here." He says, "Look at the ceiling. If you'll notice on the ceiling, there are hooks. Every 3 ft there's another hook." He says, "See that crate over there?" He points to a crate. See that crate? In that crate, there's 500 hammocks. Every night, one of the all the soldiers would go to that box, take a hammock, and hook it onto the hooks, and that's where they would sleep. So, I was amazed. But then I'm looking around, I'm like, "What's that? This is World War II. There was a draft. You didn't have a choice of being in the army. You had to be in the army." These were not like teenagers who couldn't make it in college, so they went to the US Army. This is like dentists and architects like like radiologists. Grown men cannot have lawns that are too close to each other without getting into a fight. You're you're suspended on a boat touching each other. I said, "How did World War II not break out?" So this guy looks at me. He says something very interesting. He said, "When you deeply believe that what you're doing is saving the world, nothing bothers you. You put all petty differences aside. When you deeply believe that what you're doing is saving the world, small things don't bother you. These sailors deeply believed that what they were doing was saving the world. Should I tell you why? Because it was so nothing bothered them. It's the exact same way ine. If you actually believe that inside of you there's a piece of Hashem that was placed into this world to bring light into some corner of this dark world that needs it, then you would start seeing that in other people. Hey, the same way I need you on my boat because otherwise we fail, I need you in my life cuz otherwise we fail. Your victory is my victory. Your defeat is my defeat. Sina means I don't actually see you as like this ambassador of God. You're an enemy. You're you're you're like a competitor in the game of life. Hashem didn't see really proud Jews who were living in Egypt who happen to have Egyptian names. No. He saw Jews who could care less. I'm not interested. Yeah, I'll check the boxes from social pressure. I'm not interested. Hashem said, "You're not choosing me. I'm not choosing you. Goodbye." Hashem didn't see really who happened to be at Akash's party. No, he saw Jews who were closet Persians. Didn't care. I don't care. I'd much rather just buy into the whole Persian culture. Okay, I'll annihilate you and only because we den Hashem didn't seem who were really but like happen not to get along. What do you mean you don't get along? If you don't see the godliness in your friend, you don't see it in yourself. You're just on your personal quest to become this. I'm not interested in that. I want people who are on fire, who are proud is demonstrative. It's reflective that you don't actually care about the mission that you're on. Cuz if you did, you'd view each other as teammates and not as competitors. The single most important ingredient in RNA is pride. Which brings me to Purim is unique precisely because there weren't open miracles. It took a little pride to see, oh, Hashem was running this. Oh, Fox News was actually wrong that a thousand Iranian missiles came and all of them missed. Wasn't actually just a marvelous coincidence. They love that. It was just a marvelous coincidence. You're a buffoon. You are a buffoon with a capital B. It's a marvelous coincidence. They're not one rocket head. You're a buffoon. Well, wait a minute. There are some Jews who buy into that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Marvelous coincidence. It's the same thing. Purim is about pride. Which team are you on? Are you on Hashem's team? Do you see him running the show? And because that's the entire Y of Purim, it has to start at the beginning of the month because we don't just have one cute day where you put on makeup and you check the track and you're good to go. No, no, no. That's maybe for other government. No, it's a whole month. I want to see you basim at the dentist, at the grocery store. I want to see you basim with pride in you. I want to see the sima you have when interacting with people who YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE. OH, AND GIVE them to inculcate pride because that's the name of the game. I want you to see Hashem, the peace of God in her and her and her and that girl you don't like. Give it to her. Especially her. That's the whole Yantiff. The whole Yantiff is seeing Hashem in you when it's hard. The entire calendar is a reflection of this. You ever notice there are 354 days in the Jewish year. 172 out of 354 are days of significance. a yantive, a fast day, a Did you know that out of 172 days of significance, 127 of those 172 are between Pes and Sukus, the spring and summer? The minute sukus is finished, quiet crickets. Why did Hashem design the calendar like that? Everything is crammed into it's lopsided. You don't know the answer cuz Hashem wants to give us a chunk of time where you could do it on your own. Let me see you dive in when it's not Nila. Let me see you cry when it's not Tishabove. Let me see you dab and it's not Rashashana. It's a random Wednesday in February. It's like friendship. All friends show up to their friends vart, but great friends are there early and stay late and text everyone else to make sure everyone was there. All friends show up to a Shiva house, but great friends are there the day after Shiva bringing chocolate. All friends visit their friend when she's diagnosed with cancer in the hospital. But great friends are there 6 months later when now okay she's been transferred to the Cleveland Clinic and you live in Payic and you drove 19 hours on Gidalia and you have a splitting headache. You have 3,000 things to do and then you get there and she's sleeping so you wait 3 hours by her bedside just for her to wake up just for you to smile at her and say I'm on your team. You have leukemia. I'm here with you. That's a friend. That's what Hashem wants. Yeah, anybody could check checks and make labels and send them out. Yeah. And you're giving it to the friends who you already anyway love. That's Maras. I'm not advocating to not give to you get what I'm saying. Purim is at the tail end of the winter months. The months where we're supposed to inculcate pride. We're supposed to be proud. You better believe we're going to have a whole month of happiness of pride. Hashem is about being proud, seeing Hashem in yourself, seeing it in others. That's why we have a mitzvah of rebuke. You ever thought about it? We have a mitzvah to rebuke your fellow girl. Why can't we just live and let live? Uh because one second, I have a piece of Hashem in me. You have a piece of Hashem in you. I need to survive. I have akin. You have a We're interconnected. I have to love you the way I love myself. It's insane. How could I possibly love you the way I love myself? Oh, because I'm loving not you, but the peace of Hashem in you. So the same way I love the piece of Hashem in you, I love the way I love the piece of Hashem in me. Cuz it's the same. It's like for many years, I would go sell wrapping paper in like elementary school wrapping paper and chocolates to benefit my school. In Lakewood, you have kids selling um raffle tickets for High Lifeline. into in Rochester where I grew up out of town community. So you sell wrapping paper and chocolate and only later on in my life did I realize like oh it's obviously for Christmas but whatever. It was benefiting my school. I was totally naive. So in Rochester there's like seven and a half Jews. So the overwhelming majority of the people I'm knocking on their door I'm selling it to non-Jews now. >> Three and a half but >> Oh three and a half Jews now. Okay. Times have changed. So if if you go to like a Jewish person's house, a mashah comes to the door, there's 90,000 things going on all at once. There's five kids in the bathtub. Three kids built a slide of blankets going from the chandelier all the way to the basement. You have kids all over the place. So a mush comes, the family has no time. The father takes out a three of $3, shoves it in his face. He's saying some sort of brah and you slam the door. You go to a non-Jewish person's house, supper time. It is a slowm moving operation. Okay? You come there, the first of all, there's no one there. It's just the man in the way. If that, but the the man is on the couch rereading the New York Times, meaning he read it this morning. He's reading it again. The mother or the woman is at the dining room table. She's doing a crossword puzzle, sipping a chai latte. Okay, so they got all the time in the world. You knock on the door. Hi, I'm selling wrap paper AND CHILD GO. OH, OKAY. LARRY, COME. They start leafing through your catalog. Very interesting. Okay. And then I like that one. I got to go get my checkbook. Disappear for five minutes. They get their checkbook. Oh, I got to get my glasses. Then they come back. I need a pen. By the time they select what they want, you're in there for hours. So for many years doing this, I got to see a lot of non-Jewish people's dining room and living room. And what I noticed struck me. Every single Jewish house in the world has bookshelves everywhere. Everywhere. And on these bookshelves there are minimum 15 shelves worth of stories minimum. There's three shelves from Rab Cron. There's two and a half for Pzanski stories to light your heart. Now there's Rabbi Rabbi Schlommo the other speaker. What's his name? Land thou sparks 19 and a half shelves of Rabi Spiro stories to ignite your heart and to light your soul and to ignite and to explode and to engulf. I never once walked into a non-Jewish person's house and saw even one book of stories. I never walked into a non-Jewish person's house and saw stories from the football team, stories from church. Why is that? Because we're one. That's why. Because we are interconnected. Because the yidden in Australia need to read about the yidden in Vancouver. Because I am you and you are me. Because we are proud of each other. Let's get the girls. I believe that girls have been sold a lie. They've been told a drastic dramatic lie. And that lie is that men are in charge of roas and women are in charge of gashmas. This is a catastrophic lie which will lead people down a very very dark path. Are you kidding me? You have a man, he wakes up. Hopefully he dins. I'm not sure. He goes off to work where he will spend the majority of his life. He will then come home tired. He will eat supper. He will then finish the work that he couldn't finish at his job. And that cycle will repeat for 50 years. Who's putting the kids to sleep, whispering stories in their ear? Who's wiping away tears? Who's building souls? Who's singing songs? Who's showing how to properly respect a mishah? Who's standing in the doorway like a champion, like a warrior saying, "No, no, not in my house." Who is defending the next generation? Who is infusing the home with what sneas is? What is what is what is? What amuna is what is what is like the pillars of yiddeskite. Last time I checked it is not the men and I am a man. So I would know it was always the women. It is the women. It will always be the women. The greatest Jews who ever lived all had a mother who would jump in front of a train for their child. Who would cry rivers of tears lighting the Shabas candles. Whose face would glow when their child brings home a project and they're explaining it. You can be on your on your phone. Your kid has this project that he put together with glue and he's so excited and you don't look at him. Do you know what message that's sending? That's sending. I don't care about rrookness. I don't care. You think this kid has any clue what the Mishkun? I don't know what the Mishkan. I can't understand the Mishkun. I'm I'm I'm officially a rabbi. This 5-year-old understands the Mishkun. No. Your job is to show him that we care about this. That in that that 5-second interaction is more powerful than a million of us. So, your husband is sitting on the phone trying to pretend like he's interested in a million. And we have the audacity to say I'm second fiddle. Carrying an entire generation, carrying an entire household, instilling pride into your house, which is the most important ma. That's not rrookness. Is this some sort of joke? Your second fiddle. Is this a joke? And you know what the danger is? People buy into this lie and then move into some neighborhood far far far away and don't bother me. Do you know what happens to us? We start raising kids who don't choose Hashem, who aren't really proud, who check boxes. And what happens to the formula of us choosing Hashem? We lose out. Now, you might say, "Okay, you're just saying this to be nice. I'll prove this to you. There's a fascinating breakdown between the genders in Judaism. It's bizarre. To determine what shvet you're in, we go after your father. If your father was naftali and your mother was, you're naali. But when it comes to whether or not you're Jewish, we go after your mother suddenly. Meaning your father is Puerto Rican, but your mother is Jewish, you're Jewish. But if your mother is Puerto Rican and your father's Jewish, you're Puerto Rican. Why? Firstborn inheritance. You only get a double portion of firstborn inheritance if you're the firstborn of your father. But when it comes to whether or not you need a pidaben, only firstborns get a pigen. Only if you're the firstborn of your mother. Meaning if your father and other kids but this is your first of from her you get a picture of we go after the mother. Why is it so random? Is there a rule of thumb? There is listen to this. I was init learning for yeshiva and I decided I'm going to learn a little bit of Tanakh every day. Hey, you're in let's learn Tanakh. I'm learning Tanakh. Now boys typically don't learn Tanakh when they're growing up. So I didn't have you know the girls knowledge of Tanakh. So, I'm learning it like an innocent bystander. And an interesting pattern showed up. And that pattern was that every single time the Jewish people were about to be annihilated, the savior was a woman every single time. For example, the first time the Jewish people were basically threatened was when Yishmo was about to basically get rid of throws, get him off the So, who was the savior? >> Not Ara, >> right? Sah. The next time Asab is gonna kill Asab is gonna kill Yakob. So who's the savior, >> right? Last time I checked, it was not H. Interesting. Moshe is floating in the Nile. If Mosher Rabenu gets eaten by a crocodile, we're toast. Who's the savior? Was it this large muscular guy? >> A combination. Miriam Ba. Interesting. Okay. Moshe was going to get killed. The puss says, because he didn't give a brisa to his son. I don't know if you learned this. He was going to get killed. The says who was the savior. >> Very interesting. H who saved the babies in? So interesting. So interesting. The gar says you want to know why we were able to get out of because of the women. Very interesting. I thought it was like the no who did not commit. Oh, so interesting. Who did not partake in the Moraglin? >> So very interesting, huh? When we were attacked by the Pushon, the savior was Ya. When we were attacked, David was attacked. The savior was Mik. The Purm story, the savior is Esther. The story, the savior is Yehudis. What is going on over and over and over again? So I went to a big tar. And I asked him this question. So he jumps up, he whips out a key, he opens his office. In his office, there's another closet. He takes another key. He takes out a safer from the Arizo and he opens a certain page and he reads the Arizo says anytime there is going to be a national calamity. The savior will always be a woman. Why? Because the holiness of Clus is stored within a woman. That's what the result says. The savior is always a woman because that's where the holiness is stored. Suddenly everything makes sense. Which shabet you're in is has nothing to do with holiness. Where you basically where you live, but whether or not you're Jewish, I don't care if your father's kfski. If your mother's Puerto Rican, you my friend are Puerto Rican because there's no holiness there. The firstborn status to inheritance. Ah, that's like monetary stuff. Okay. Goes after the father. The firstborn status to say if you're need from a that's holiness goes after the mother. When we say when we call up a guy for an aliyah, what do we say? Because that has nothing to do. It's just there's a lot of doubts here, so we have to distinguish. But when somebody needs a form, you ever been in what do we say? Suddenly for someone sick, we say with a name. Oh, suddenly we switch. Why? Because we're trying to tap into the holiness of his mother. That's why. Of course, women hold carry a baby. You ever thought about that? Why in the world did Hashem design that women are the ones who got pregnant? Try the other way around. Men are big and strong and must women should care. It makes sense. The answer is it's obvious. That's where the holiness is. You want to do the man to carry the you want as here's the problem. If what I'm saying is true, that we have this inborn innate holiness, how come I don't feel it? How come we don't feel it? How come we live in Times River, we live in Jackson, we live in Lakewood, I'm like, whatever. I don't care about Jewish music. It's just doesn't speak. I don't feel it. I don't care about your AIFA for AI. I'm not interested. I'm not interested. I'm not that kind of person. I don't care about rabbis. I'm not interested. Why don't I feel it based on what you're saying? You're telling me this whole thing about innate holiness. Why don't I feel it? Should I tell you why? Cuz far too many people tell themselves holiness is for other people. It's not for me. Not for me. Holiness is for people who live in like a microscopic apartment in Benro. Holiness is for people who live on Seventh Street, have 12 kids, have a have a dining room table with half of it in the washing machine. That is holiness. It's not for normal people. It's not for people go to Miami on winter break. It's not for people with smartphones, right? Holiness. Me? Are you nuts? I don't have mental space for that. I'm trying to work on acne. You think I have you think I have time for holiness? This is a mistake. This is a colossal mistake. Au was approached by Hashem once and he said, "Come outside. Look at the stars. Your kids are going to one day be like the sky. Stars in the sky. You ever thought like it never turned out to be true. Do you know how many bill you know how many billion Muslims there are? 2.4 billion Muslims. I'm sorry, Christians. There's 1.83 billion Muslims. There's 900 million Hindus. There's 488 million Buddhists. You know how many Jews there are? 12 million. And for the duration of our history, it's been 12 million. We're like the stars in the sky. We're pathetically small. You know what the answer is? doesn't mean that we're going to be uncountable like the stars in the sky. It means that the same way you look up at a star and it seems so tiny and insignificant and yet in reality is massive. Do you know that you have stars that are a thousand times the size of the sun? Put that into perspective. Earth is 7,000 mi in its radius. Earth, the sun is 430,000 miles in its radius. You have stars that are a thousand times the size of the sun. You have stars that are 430 million miles. They look like a tiny nothing. Hashem is telling Aram, "Your kids are going to think like they're nothings. I'm irrelevant. I'm waging war against acne and Tom's River. I'm a nothing." But it's a mistake. If you're breathing, that means you have a tough kid. You have a piece of light of godliness that's meant to be brought into this world that the entire world needs. And if you squander it, the entire world will suffer. It's not a coincidence. We say if you save a Jewish life, it's as if you saved the whole world. You ever thought about that? I was always bothered by that. You didn't save the whole world. You saved one Jewish life. It's very nice. Oh, no. You did save the whole world because that person had a tough kid. That person had something that the entire world needed. If you go through your life thinking, I'm a girl. Second place. I'm irrelevant. I'm redundant. I'm unnecessary. And I don't have holiness. So, what happens to your pride? Which is the most important thing? What happens to your husband's pride? What happens to your kids' pride? Out the window. But if we look at ourselves and say, if I'm breathing, that means that I'm needed. That means that I'm here for a reason. That means that there's a purpose. That means that I have something that I'm here to do. Oh, I'll get off the couch. Oh, I'll think twice about doing that. Oh, I'll feel a little bit more proud. I want to be on Hashem's team. I don't want to hold you guys way too long. Just a couple more stories. I'm sorry. It's hard to know how, you know, timing wise when you're preparing a speech. I don't know if you ever had this problem. Did you know if someone would come over to you with a gun and say, "See that girl? Kill that Jewish girl or you get killed." >> Do you know what dal is? >> Huh? >> You have to get killed. >> Why? Yes. >> I mean, at the end of the day, a a Jewish girl was going to get killed. So why do I have to be the one? I'll just kill that person. So the answer is cuz who said that person's blood is any is any worse than your blood? Basically, that's what the Gumar says. Now, what's interesting is that this Gumar applies throughout across the board, which means is walking and a terrorist comes and puts a gun at his head and says, "See that guy?" He points to like some random Israeli barber who walks out of his shop. See that guy? Kill that guy. So what that what's that has to get shot. Why? Because who said that is better than that guy? Okay, that's what the says about that. Um who said that is better than that guy? Raim learns 25 hours a day. This guy hasn't learned a word in his life hasn't spoken in 65 years. You hear that? 65 years. This guy can't keep his tra his mouth shut. This is swimming in kaduca. This guy's swimming in co-ed local pools. What are we talking about? What are we talking about? The answer is that you know nothing. You know nothing about the nishama of another person about your own. You don't know what tid you have. You don't know what crazy moment you're going to be needed for. You don't know what unbelievable light you're brought to bring to the world. You have no idea what cuz you're an irreligious barber, so therefore you're somehow less. Cuz you live in the outskirts of Tom's River, so therefore you're somehow less. It's insanity. But we think like that sometimes. It's a mistake. And the month to work on this is now, the month of pride. Let me tell you one more story. Two more stories. There was a woman named Moren. So if you need to leave, it's fine. There was a woman named Moren Sweeney. Moren Sweeney was a weather reporter in Northern Ireland in the 1940s. She would report the weather and she was pretty good at her job and the local people were very appreciative because they were fishermen and they were farmers. So you got to know like the winds and the rain. It's pretty important for your job. on June 5th, Dwight Eisenhower, the general of the United States Army, was preparing to launch the single largest amphibious invasion in world history. 150,000 troops were going to invade Nazi territory and hopefully take down the Nazi army. He had 11,000 planes. He had 7,000 boats. 7,000 and he was ready to invade. The problem was the weather wasn't great. So they were debating, should we go? Should we not go? Should we go? Should we not go? Should we go? We're not sure. So he decided, we're going. And right as he was about to send the alarm, we're going in. All 100,000 soldiers. A man comes barging in and says, "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We just got this alert from Northern Ireland. There's this woman there. She said, "There's high winds coming down to France." They were in Normandy, France. It's coming down. I think we should listen to this woman. So Dwight Eisenhower's like, "Who is this woman?" Ah, she's some woman. She's good at her job. I don't know, but we should high winds. If there's a lot of winds, like we could, you know, our boats could tip and like the war is over at that point. He's thinking, he says, "Okay, we're going to wait." The next day, they wait. The next day they go. The largest invasion in world history. They they capture the they they invade the army. They're successful and the rest is history as we know. But think about this for a second. Here you have a 20-year-old girl in Northern Ireland sipping on a peppermint hot chocolate. She casually says the weather report. Unbeknownst to her, there's someone who is listening on the other end making a decision that will change the world forever. That is every single person in this room. Every single person in this room has holiness that they need and must tap into. It is unnegotiable. The survival of the entire Jewish people rests on women being proud. Tapping into the holiness that's inside of them. Women taking 3 seconds to pause and be like, I remodeled my kitchen last year. Do I need to remodel it again? I know, but my husband made a ton of money. So, like, why not remodel it again? Todd, when you're 80 on your deathbed, you are you going to care about that? CL now more than ever in all of world history needs women who are on fire because the men don't put your don't put your money there but at least the women one final story May 16th 2004 my father's walking up a flight of stairs in a sh he collapses he has a cardiac arrest he's on the floor time is ticking every single second that passes when somebody has a cardiac arrest which means your heart stops working, which means your brain doesn't get oxygen, is basically a time bomb. He's rushed to the hospital. He's in a coma. He has 4% chance of living. 4% chance of living. A miracle happens. The the world erupts in prayer. They dive in. He gets better. He wakes up from his coma. Two weeks later, he's out of the ICU. It's a whole caravan. The train. The train. >> The train is leaving. Anyone else? No problem. Wow. They have a sprinter. If it's a sprinter. Okay. They'll never know what happened. They'll never know. It's my fault. It's my fault. I'm sorry. The world erupts in prayer. >> Two weeks later, my father walks out of the hospital, completely healthy man. >> So, he's taking a walk one day and our non-Jew, our Jewish but very irreligious, self-hating Jewish neighbor meets my father and says, "Dr. Eisenberg, my father's a doctor. Dr. Eisenberg, I want to tell you something. You owe me a thanks." Really? Yeah. It's because of me that you're alive. Really? How so? Because when I heard that you had a cardiac arrest, I did something you can't imagine. I whispered a prayer. And God must have been so flabbergasted. He must have been so shocked that I of all people actually whispered a prayer that I am certain that it's because of my prayer that he was that you survived and therefore you owe me a thanks. You hear that? Tens of thousands of Eden daven for my father's recovery. Hundreds of rashiva and raun and pounded on heaven's door so that I shouldn't have to be an orphan. Hundreds of thousands of feelers coming from pure holy lips emanated to Hashem's throne. And this disgruntled, self-hating Jew thinks it's because of him that my father's alive. It's incredible. You know what's even more incredible is that the man might even be right cuz we know nothing. And we put ourselves in this little box at age 16 and say this is how much holiness I'm going to be for the rest of my life and don't bother me cuz I resent this this this religion that put me in second place frying things and cooking spaghetti. That is a colossal mistake. Every single person in this room is only here because there was a woman somewhere at some point who chose Hashem when they weren't in the mood. like the time that your parents were at the OBGYn's office and your mother had this sneaky suspicion that there was no longer a heartbeat inside of her and she's waiting for the ultrasound results and she's whispering under her breath, "Please let there be a heartbeat. Please let there be a heartbeat." Well, there was a Jewish woman who you never met, who you'll never meet, who wasn't interested in davening that day, who had a migraine splitting headache. And you know what she did? She davened anyway. And you know what happened at that exact minute? The doctor walked in and said, "We found the heartbeat." Or what about the time that you were driving back from Aassan and Poseic? It was 2:00 a.m. It was raining. You're on the Garden State Parkway going a little bit too fast. And there was a deer that wanted to go to the other side of the highway. Well, there was a Yid who you never met, who you'll never meet, who wasn't interested in saying her quote up to Hill that she signed up, have a sleep, some chat. She wasn't interested. And you know what she did? She said it anyway. And you know what happened at that exact minute? the deer didn't jump in front of your car. Or what about the time that your grandparents were standing at Ellis Island, 1946, and everyone else on the island took their candlesticks and they dragged through Trebinka, just chucked it into the Atlantic Ocean. And your grandparents are looking at each other and they're like, "Should we keep shopping? Should we not keep shabbas? Should we keep shopping? Should we not keep? Should we keep shab? Should we not keep chabas?" and your grandmother takes her candlesticks and starts walking over to a garbage can. And there's a woman who's standing there who's not interested in having guests for chabas. She wasn't interested in hosting. And you know what she did? She invited them anyway. And you know what happened? They stayed from and your parents stayed from and you're now from and your kids are from because of one person who chose Hashem when it was uncomfortable. That is my message to you. We live in a lie. You are quietly keeping Israel alive. Your communities, your families, your husband, your kids need you to be proud. Do not let anyone ever convince you otherwise. This is the yumptive, the month of working on Jewish pride. And when we do, we make our little teeny tiny nation indestructible. I thank you all very much for listening.