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Moshiach Is Going To The Back Of The Crowd

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Hillel Eisenberg avatar
Hillel Eisenberg

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This is a video for the people who never get videos, for the people who never get honored, for the people nobody notices, for the people who get eye rolls instead of applause, for the people who secretly think they're failures. This is a video for the teenagers fighting a war with the internet every single day and wondering if there's anything left of their nishamus. This is a video for the basako girl who looks fine on the outside but feels absolutely nothing on the inside. This is a video for the people who struggle with shabas, who struggle with Tyra, who struggle with file. This is a video for the divorced man who once had the big house, the family pictures, the dream, and now sleeps on a mattress in a one room basement. This is a video for the 32-year-old single woman who smiles through weddings and smiles through chabas meals and smiles through conversations while carrying a pain that few can understand. This is a video for the couple in year seven of infertility. The couple that says everything's okay when everything is very much not okay. This is a video for the man who took a job he hates because his family needed him to. The man driving home from work in Delaware, sitting in traffic, staring through the windshield, wondering, "Is this really my life? Feeling all alone, feeling unseen, feeling unaccomplished, watching old friends become Rashi Shiva and Rush Kaburas and Rabun, and watching others accomplish things he once dreamed of accomplishing, wondering where exactly his own dreams went. And yet, after a full day of carrying the weight of a family on his shoulders, he pulls into the parking lot of Abandrish, opens a Gimar, and learns." This is a video for the yeshiva bakar in secondyearbased medish who can't stand gimmar anymore but he shows up anyway. This is a video for the baluva who shocked his family at age 18 and became religious. The one who turned his entire world upside down for hashem. Who became a stranger in his own home. Who sat at a family gathering like a guest who couldn't eat at his own parents' table. The man who feels like he never fits in no matter where he goes. The man who spent years building a life from scratch. Years learning what others inherited. Years figuring out alone what others had handed to them. The one who spent a decade searching for a The one who spent years and decades of awkward conversations and decades of disappointments and decades of watching everyone else move through life with ease. The one who had every reason in the world to look heaven straight in the eye and say, "Hashem, I gave up everything for you. I left behind my friends for you. I left behind comfort for you. I left behind the life I knew for you and this is what I get. And yet he never says it. Instead, he gets up and he goes to David. He learns, he builds, he keeps believing. He keeps showing up. Not because it's easy, not because he's celebrated, but because somewhere deep inside, he decided that Hashem is worth serving no matter what. This is a video for him. This is a video for the man who made one terrible mistake, one foolish, stupid decision. And now he sits alone in prison for years and years and years. Not one visitor, not one phone call. His wife is gone. His reputation is gone. His future is crushed. And yet every morning he wraps its villain around his arm. Every day he opens a safer. Every day he cries his way through Shimona Estray. This is a video for him. This is a video for the widow who just buried her husband. The woman staring at an unknown future. The woman who wants to collapse. The woman who wants to scream. The woman who wants to disappear, but instead doesn't just live her life. She gets up and she roars through life. She sings through life and somehow keeps on going. This is a video for the man who hasn't slept in 3 years because he's drowning in debt and yet walks into Schul every day with a smile. This is a video for the man in Kyle and walks into Seder every morning despite being mocked by his family. the very people who should have been his biggest supporters where every day he hears, "When are you going to get a real job? When are you going to get a real job? When are you going to get a real job?" The man who gets treated like the family failure for choosing a life of Tyra. The man who despite the ridicule and despite the insults and despite treating like a disappointment, despite being financially cut off from his family, despite being told he's wasting his life, he walks into Seder carrying wounds that nobody sees. and yet he walks in. Anyway, this is a video for the girl who's downloaded Instagram a hundred times and deleted it 101 times. The girl who has made the same cabola over and over and over and over again. Who has cried the same tears and fought the same battle and fallen into the same pit and yet gets up anyway. the girl who desperately wants to be holy, who desperately wants to be pure, who desperately wants to be the person she knows she can be. And despite all the fails, and despite all the frustration, and despite all the moments she looked into the mirror and felt like a nothing, she keeps on fighting. This is a video for her. This is a video for the bucker who gets compared to his brother every day of his life. The brother who learns better. The brother who davins better. The brother who speaks better. The brother who acts better. The buffer who walks into the base medish and despite feeling behind and feeling like he doesn't belong and feeling like everyone else gets it except him. He shuts his mouth. He rolls up his sleeves and he opens his gimar and he tries yet again. This is a video for the husband and wife whose child left Yiddishkai who managed to smile through the shabasuda while carrying a heart heartbreak they never imagined they would have to carry. The husband and wife who simultaneously live in a world of Zamirus and Tyra and Schol and a world of rehab and fear and uncertainty and unanswered phone calls and terrifying phone calls and eyes swollen with tears. The husband and wife who drive hours just to spend a few minutes with their son who sit beside him in treatment centers and stare at their phones every day hoping his name will appear. The husband and wife who never stop worrying and never stop loving and never stop waiting. The husband and wife who sit at a sim and wonder if he's okay. They sit through a shabas meal and wonder where he's sleeping that night. The husband and wife who have become experts at hiding pain. Who learned how to smile while their hearts are breaking. Who learned how to say bar hashem while carrying questions they cannot answer. They walk into schol and hear others discussing their children's accomplishments. While they sit at home while silently wondering whether their own child is even alive. The husband and wife who have shed oceans of tears that nobody knows about and despite all the fear and despite all the disappointment and despite all the embarrassment and the endless ache, they keep showing up for Hashem and serve him with pride. This is a video for them. This is a video for the G who left behind his entire world, his family, his friends, his comfort, his everything, and wonders if anyone understands what that cost. This is a video for the woman battling anxiety so intense that getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain. And yet, she gets up and she gets dressed and she shows up to life without anyone realizing what she conquered that morning. This is a video for her. This is a video for the parents whose child has special needs. The parents who never get a day off, who never get a break, who never get applause, but keep carrying the load anyway. This is a video for the man sitting in the back of the shaw because he's embarrassed by what he's become. And this is also a video for the man sitting in the back of the shell because he's embarrassed about what he didn't become. This is a video for the person who has dabbed to Hashem for the same thing for 40 straight years and it keeps on dabbing. This is a video for the people who cry in their car before walking into a people who cry in the shower. the people who cry into their pillows. This is a video for the people fighting battles that nobody can see. The people battling ADD and ADHD and anxiety and depression and OCD and PTSD and bulimia and anorexia. The people with lisps. The people who stutter. The people battling obsessive thoughts. The people battling panic attacks. The people battling loneliness. The people battling addictions. The people battling grief. The people battling memories that they wish they could forget. The people battling minds that refuse to give them even one minute of peace. The people who wake up exhausted before the day even begins. The people from whom getting out of bed is already a victory. The people who spend all day fighting a war that nobody around them even knows exists. The people who hear you seem fine when they're anything but fine. The people who smile and show up and function and perform and produce and then collapse the moment nobody is looking. The people who have every reason to quit and every reason to give up and every reason to surrender and yet don't. They wake up every morning and they pick up their sword and they march right back into the battlefield bruised and bleeding and exhausted but still fighting and still believing and still serving Hashem with strength no one sees. This is a video for you. Because when you imagine Messiah coming on that long- aaited day when KL floods the streets and we're all craning our necks to get a glimpse of our long awaited Messiah, you probably picture yourself in the back behind the rashisha, behind the Rabon, and behind the Gir, and behind the people who seem all successful, behind the people who seem all put together, behind the people everyone assumes will be front and center. And you tell yourself, they're the ones who will greet Mashiach first, not me. Like Mashiach isn't coming for me. Me the guy struggling online. Me the girl who hasn't ded in years. Me the guy who works while my brothers are still learning. Me the divorce guy who is embarrassed to walk into show. And slowly you see yourself where you always place yourself in the back of the crowd if you're even invited at all. But what if I told you you've misunderstood the entire story? What if I told you you may in be in for a surprise? What if heaven has been keeping score differently than you have? What if the people carrying the heaviest burdens are the people Hashem has been watching most closely? What if the people who thought they were in the back of the room were actually standing in the front all along? What if the people who spent their entire lives feeling like disappointments are among heaven's greatest success stories? What if I told you that on that day, the day all of Clyro gathers together, the day the tears of thousands of years finally come to an end, the day Mashiach arrives, the day every question finally receives an answer, the day every hidden battle is finally revealed, Mashiach will ascend a stage and the world will fall silent and Mashiach climbs up on that stage and clears his throat and makes the first announcement. And he says, "Anyone who lived by the words of Hashem, please step forward. Anyone who served Hashem through heartbreak, please step forward. Anyone who had full beton in Hashem, even while their hearts was shattered, please step forward." And suddenly from the back of the crowd, a widow takes a step. And a divorced father takes a step. And a single woman carrying years of disappointment takes a step forward. And a couple carrying the pain of decades of infertility takes a step forward. Anyone who lived by the words s agra, please step forward. Anyone whose hashem was heavy, who had to fight through every mitzvah, who had to crawl when others could run, please step forward. And suddenly the crowd turns to the back. And a teenager fighting the internet walks to the front of the crowd. And a girl with severe anxiety steps forward. And a man who battled addiction his whole life takes a step. And a buck who learned in yeshiva and then kale for years with a severe stutter comes to the front of the crowd. Anyone who lived by the words raka bay, please step forward. Anyone who came broken but came anyway, please step forward. Anyone who came from a dysfunctional household and remained faithful, please step forward. And suddenly from the back of the crowd, all the people who never received alias take a step forward. And all the people who never received awards take a step forward. And all the people who no one cared about and no one thought about and no one looked at stepped to the front of the crowd. Anyone who lives by the words Lebanid, please step forward. Anyone whose tears became felis, whose pain became a carbon, who served Hashem without family or societal pressure, please step forward. Anyone who served Hashem in jail or rehab centers, please step forward. And suddenly in the back of the crowd, the mother crying in the laundry room steps to the front of the crowd. And the father crying in his car takes a step. And the prisoner crying in his jail cell into his sitter takes a step forward. And the teenager who had to run from his family and got caught up in the wrong crowd and lived on the streets for years and yet still somehow TRIED HIS BEST TO keep chappas, he steps forward. Anyone who lived by the words share demo, please step forward. Anyone who thought nobody saw their tears and nobody cared about their cries and nobody saw their darkness and still serve Hashem with sincerity, please step forward. And suddenly from the back of the crowd, the people who cried in hospital rooms, the people who cried in therapist's office, the people who cried after everyone else had gone to sleep, the people who cried because they missed a child or missed a spouse or missed a dream or missed a life they thought they would have. They all step forward and they walk to the front of the crowd. Mashiach says, "Anyone who lived by the words Uba who reads Hebrew funny. He steps forward. The Valtrua who couldn't get his kids into school. He steps forward. The Valtuba who lived an entire life of awkwardness and disregard. He steps forward and walks to the front of the crowd. Anyone who fell a hundred times and got back up 101 times, please step forward. Anyone who refused to let their failures have the final word, please step forward. Suddenly, from the back of the crowd, the girl who deleted Instagram a hundred times takes a step forward. And the boy who spent years and years and years fighting a private war with the internet takes a step forward. AND THE MAN WHO SPENT 20 YEARS REBUILDING A LIFE HE ONCE THOUGHT was beyond repair, he takes a step forward. And the woman who endured setback after setback after setback after setback and somehow never stopped believing, she takes a step forward. Mashiach says, "Anyone who felt abandoned but kept domining anyway, please step forward. Anyone who felt nothing in their Yiddish kite, nothing yet keep showing up anyway, please step forward. Anyone who walked into Shaw carrying a broken heart, please step forward. Anyone who learned Tyra while carrying a pain that nobody else knew about, please step forward. Anyone who smiled while silently falling apart, please step forward. Anyone who spent years believing they were disappointing Hashem while heaven was marveling at their courage, please step forward. And at that exact moment, there's movement back in the crowd. And slowly, dozens and dozens and dozens of people begin stepping forward. The unnoticed, the overlooked, the struggling, the lonely, the exhausted, the people who spent their entire lives convinced they were religious failures, the people who thought they were barely hanging on, the people who never in their wildest dreams imagined that their names would be called. They all step forward and the world stands frozen in stunned silence as the hidden heroes they're ushered to the front. As a hush falls over all of creation and generations of assumptions and preconceived notions come crashing down and from one end of the world to the other end. The words are spread across the heavens. So to every struggling warrior out there listening to this, stop apologizing for who you are. Stop measuring yourself by people who have never fought your battles. Stop waiting for people to understand you or to appreciate you or to validate you. Some people will never understand your fight because they've never had to fight it. They have no idea what it takes for you to get through a day. They have no idea what it costs you to keep showing up. And quite frankly, who cares? Because history is never changed by the people sitting in the stands. History is changed by the people in the arena, the people bleeding, the people sweating, the people fighting. You think heaven is impressed by people who had easy roads? Heaven is impressed by people who struggle and do not give up. Heaven knows exactly how much weight is on your shoulders. And heaven knows exactly how far you've carried it. So let people talk. Let people judge. Let people roll their eyes. Let people misunderstand you. Tune it all out. Keep moving. Keep fighting. Keep building. Keep dragging your feet forward if that's what it takes. Because one day the world is going to discover something that will shock them and that the people they thought were fail falling behind were actually carrying the entire generation. The people they thought were weak were the strongest among them. The people they ignored were the people holding the line. So lift your head high and keep on marching because Cla cannot afford for you to quit. We need your scars. We need your resilience. We need the strength you earned in places that nobody saw. You're not carrying a burden. You're carrying a banner. The banner of resilience. The banner of loyalty. The banner of a Jew who refuses to quit. So hold your head high and walk with pride. Because one day when the Schaefer will sound, when the exiles will gather, when all the tears come to an end, when the heroes of Clau will finally be revealed, and when the march to Urusion begins, you won't be scrambling for a place in the back of the crowd. You'll be right at the front with the flag of Hashem in your hands and the third bas before your eyes and all of Kalisra marching behind you as you triumphantly lead the way.