Judaism Without Apologizing- Reb Dovid Goldwassar- Teshuvah- What It Is And What It Isn’t

This Torah class is brought to you by Torahany anytime.com. Welcome back to another episode of Judaism without apologizing, an original series brought to you by Torah anytime. And I am your host, Hila Eisenberg, and I am here in Brooklyn, New York, where I had the great to sit down with Ribbove Goldwer. Now, you may know Rabbi Goldwer as a longtime Rev and a major speaker who inspired hundreds of thousands of people around the world. But what some people do not know is that Rabbi Goldwaser is not just a Rev and is not just a speaker. He is a lifeline for hundreds of thousands of people in crisis. He specializes in helping people struggling with addiction and eating disorders and has been one of the more prominent voices in the Jewish mental health world. He's been on the front lines for decades guiding Jews through pain and addiction and trauma and chuva. And in addition to speaking and counseling, Ray Goldwaster is a syndicated columnist as well as the author of several very famous books including the addicted soul and faith among the flames and the safer something to say. And we had a real raw and fascinating conversation about yam kipper about guilt about spiritual burnout about mental health and what real actual change looks like. If you're looking to go into Yam Kipper with a different mindset, more grounded, more honest, more alive, this one's for you. This is Judaism without apologizing. And let's dive right in. [Music] Okay, Rabbi Goldwaser, thank you very much for coming on to the Judaism without apologizing podcast. It's a pleasure to have you. It is a and a pleasure to be here, especially knowing the special way that you have arranged for these podcasts and your mahalik. I believe it's going to bring Yiddish kite to greater numbers and to bring our own people even closer. >> Wow. Wow. Amen. So, I want to I want to dive right in. The RV has been on the forefront of not just spreading Torah and Yiddish in his or speaking, but also in the world of mental health and addiction. Can you give a brief history on how the RV got into that space? How did it go from Ravves to teaching spreading Torah to into that world? >> My first foray into the world of mental health was parents were having difficulty with their daughter and they couldn't figure out what it was. They said, "Would you please see her and tell us what is going on?" She came in, I spent a little time to me. It was in the early days. I said, "I think this is an eating disorder." The parents picked her up. They called me after and I say, "I think she has an eating disorder." Rob Goldwer, we highly respect you. We have a lot of dares for you, but she does not have an eating disorder. Okay. Few weeks went by, she got worse. They brought her back. I said to them, "You're so good, but you weren't happy the first time. Why we came back?" "Well, we want to know what you have to say." I said, "After I met with her, I am pretty much sure." They said to me, "Okay, what do we do?" I said, "You have to go to a doctor that's specializing in eating disorders." They said, "Can you find this one?" I did some research. I came up with the top. I called them up and I said, "Here's the number. Here's, you know, how to meet." They said, "We're not going to go with her." The stigma at that time with stigma. So, I said, "So, how's she going to get there, Rob? I don't know. Could we ask her? Would you take her? What shall I tell you? I said, "Okay, you she needs to get somewhere quick while she still can get somewhere quick." >> The parents didn't want to take her because of stigma. >> They were embarrassed. They would not accept that this was it. And they were embarrassed. Great parents, but embarrassed. I called up the doctor, Dr. Sacker, and I called him. They put me through to him, and I said, "I have somebody." said, "Okay, come 11:30 to the hospital where he has an office." I called the parent says, "130:30. No, no, no. You cannot go in the middle of the day. People are going to see her." I said, "Could you tell me a time?" No, like early in the morning before people get there, I called Dr. Sacker back. He says, "Rabbi Gowasa, I know who you are." It was unbelievable for you. You can bring her in at 7 a.m. I went to the hospital with her. She met me 7 a.m. I met with Dr. Sacker. Two thing the girl had her appointment. Two things happened on that day. The girl got her help and she got a path back to, you know, recovery. And Dr. Sakura and I became best friends from that. It was an avalanche of people coming for help. People that needed uh all kinds of help, addictive personalities, various addictions, eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia, you name it, everything. But like the quiet uh I don't know how you say it, like began to bring people from all over. I had to learn more. Then Dr. Golden from LIU said, "You have to write a book because people are not going to come in. At least make a book with some Torah available." So I wrote the first book. And that went like crazed. The first book, >> what was the name of it? >> Starving to live was the first. And uh it went like crazy because there was nothing not that the book is any good but it was information where nobody had any the Torah view the idea where is it in the Torah what's my hashka how should I feel what should I how should I deal with this according to Torah so I put that out and then it just it ricocheted more people came uh some wonderful doctors and wonderful nutritionists started to get into contact with me through it and wherever I could help out, wherever I could give them an eight on a patient. Crazy thing. I don't know if this is the the subject for today, but >> everything is the same. >> A crazy thing happened. I get a I got a Shila uh concerning one particular uh institution. Uh it's an institution that deals with various addictions including eating disorders. I came it's a locked facility. I went to the treatment center in a locked facility. They let me in. There were several Jewish patients and I had gone in particular. One family asked me to go. There was one young womanish. She stood in the corner but watching everything what was going on. Others would come over like two or three and we would talk and different things. She stood the whole time. What can I do? She's, you know, she's out of her element. Everybody's out of their element. I'm out of my element there. I go to leave. The guy's ready to open the door. He has to open it with a key to go. She's standing by the door. She asked me in Yiddish. I said, "Yeah, of course. What's your question?" She said they gave to her cheese, everything. However, the cheese was on matzah. The matzah was shir, but not handmade shura. In her life, she never ate anything not handmade. She asked me, "How big of an avid is it?" Mika. >> Wow. Wow. So that only ignited the passion. >> So I did eventually it got so much there. There were so many people that needed help and it was so people got involved. Uh but I've been consulted around the world on it. >> Wow. Wow. It's uh it's just something that uh it needed a great deal of attention and I happened to be in the place to give it and there was some wonderful doctors that that we learned together and I learned a lot from them. Dr. Markx from Princeton showed me a great amount. But we also had reciprocal uh hashbah. When I came in one day, he says, "You're going to love what I have on my wall." I said, "What do you got on your wall?" He shows me blown up Rabbi Victor Miller's 10 steps to greatness. He wasn't, you know, he wasn't Wow. Amazing. Amazing. So we're approaching Yamkipper now and there is an element of anxiety that I think every normal person has when they approach Yam Kipper. I mean it's the greatest spiritual day of the year but it's also the one time of the year or the main time of the year where people have to look and deal with their uncomfortable parts of themselves. What a could you give in the Rev's extensive experience in dealing with people who are struggling? What can you give to people to transform the day from a day of anxiety to a day of positive transformation? >> You know, the uh pill the question we could probably spend the rest of the evening on. It's it's unreal. I would say to the individual what the gdal mus said if we would have yum kipper one time in our whole life in 120 years what a privilege it would be one time and we have yum kipper every year so the yum kiper itself is a matana it's a present it's a day of great amnesty I come and I say hashem I want to do chuva I may not even know how to do chuva but hashem I'm relying on the just do it for me if I can't go in the mikvah because it's too much for me and I can't deal with the whole thing of going and immersing myself in it then hashem says I'll just I'll sprinkle the water on you and you'll be you'll be pure it's a time when we all no matter who on that spectrum of religious iosity or spirituality from kite. Whether we're on the top, whether we're on the bottom, whether we're in the swamps, it doesn't matter. Hashem says that day is a day for you the for city, for all of Israel. It doesn't say, "Oh, those that did this of they could have, but those that did that of they can't." It's for all of us. And it is such a beautiful day of amnesty. It's free. It's Hashem says come on that day. The Sultan cannot be matri. No one's going to say anything bad. We are all sadikim. You wearing a kettle. I'm wearing a kit. You're wearing sneakers. I'm wearing sneak. We're in white. The person that did the biggest aa maybe he also comes. Maybe he's got a better white kit. Maybe he even has more uh canvas shoes. just a real old kind. So he really looks the part. We're both forgiven. Hashem looks at us like malim. We're all in white. We're ready on the I tell the people you got to realize harness into that power, the power of kaporipur. On that day I am getting forgiven for everything. We're always jealous. You go to the wedding, you see the [Music] Oh boy, I wish I was them. Just for tonight, just for now, right every year, we're the same. We're underneath the says forgiven. I say yum kipper said a different son shines on the day of yum kipper. You know how many times I go out in the morning on Yum Kipper and I take a look towards the sun. Rabar said it. I can't even imagine the depth of what that means. It's a gift. It's like great. Don't have anxiety. Have anxiety on purum if you'll have enough to everybody. If the guy that comes in with the thing, you know, and all that, or if the bulk going to come in a little too lemonade in the house and start ripping, you know, that's anxiety. But on it's a beautiful time. It's for us to reconnect. Hashem puts his hands out to us. No, the poin I was push against Hashem. what I did against Hashem and now Hashem says, "I give you my hand. Take my hand." >> So, how does someone not get lost in the the words that I don't understand and the avoid that it looks esoteric even with an art scroll? I don't know what it's saying and I know it's this momentous spiritual moment but I get so lost in trying to catch up to the kazin and what am I saying and am I on the right page that I lose the magnitude of the day. How do I take a deep breath and take a step back and tap into what the rub has been saying instead of getting lost in the 100m hour sprint to finish to say all the words. I feel that it's here for all of us. That yum kip is for me the scholar that understands every about the aod the yum kipper and the co and the layman or the person that is not learned and they just come in they fall in from the street and they don't really know that much about it. the whole they can't wrap their head around that right now but they do know that it's a day of chuva a person has to say on that day it's here for us whichever level we're on take advantage don't get nervous there are a couple of wonderful books in about the ma for yum kipper one I have a good friend Mo sorcerer wrote two books he did a beginner's minion for many years and he wrote two books one on rash and yum kipper in the maker there is um a yakipurim and also on rashash shana there are some explanatory uh notes about all of the different filos and there's also a packet I don't have it but I heard about it that you take and you have different cards for every part of davin and I'm right now trying to get aold hold of it because of people that could use it. We all like we're a work in progress on yum kipper. We try the most that we can and whatever we can do is also good. Hashem said I didn't say it's only for is for every man. I can come. Maybe I don't know anything but I'm going to come on yum kipper. I'm going to follow what I can. If I can say amen to all of the brahas of the shots. If I could follow along. If I could be moved. If I could hear the hony from the and realize that he's pleading on my behalf. If I can realize that the malim are shaking upstairs. Just take a look at the English a little bit that the malim are shaking. And then I think to myself, wow, if I say one voy and say hashem, I'm sorry. Sorry, I don't even know how to say it right, but I did some bad stuff. But I'm sorry. I'm not like I'm not one of those people that just do something bad and then march on. I feel bad. I take it to my heart. Hashem, forgive me. I'm your son. I'm your daughter. You got to forgive me. I'm yours. You made me. You got to forgive me. If we could come in like that, then we can peel away some of the layers that people the anxiety and the upset and what do I do and the whole fast thing and all of that. I think it becomes nicer. I love every time when we say [Music] your ways are ways that are pleasant. Hashem does not want yum kipper to be hard or tough. Your ways are pleasant. Even the ch that we do, it should be pleasant. So that the the people that want to come back so they have it easy. There are different things should be a little easier that they should come back. We don't want to put up uh you know with walls or go through hoops for it. We want to make it easy. Yum kipper makes it easy because the nature of the day is the kapara. So what would the RV say to somebody who has made he's 45 or he's or she's a 37 year old woman and she's made cabalas every year about the same thing. Hashem I want to be better. I'm going to do better. I'm going to cuz part of chuva is not just feeling bad but it's also a commitment to to going forward not do that thing or improve on that thing. But they look back and they say my track record is horrible. Zero. I'm 0 for 37. How am I not supposed to be Mish? Like is it just like a performance? I'm performing, but I'm like fooling Hashem. Hashem, I'm not going to do this again even though I know I'm going to do it again because I haven't I've said that 37 times or 45 times or 65 times. And I hear back I am yapping away or XYZ that I do. H how does how do I take it from a performance sort of going through the motions but like this is so not real to it's really real. The truth is, I think that is probably the question that bothers us the most. If I'm going to do it again, why bother? Or am I just faking out or trying to fake out Hashem? A few just uh comments on it. One, if I do, I am judged for what I am on that day. On that day I'm at sad. On that day I had good intentions. On that day I said to Hashem I want to continue in only do mitzvah. I don't want to do the past anymore. I want to be completely different. Now I may not have the power to do it. Maybe not this time. But I love that falls down seven times and then he gets up. So it means if the saddic falls, if the sadus falls, I could too. It's possible. They threw a ber out of the closenburgsha. They threw him out. What's he going to do in those days in in Union City? They threw him out. What's the book to do? That that's his life. They threw him out. He has nowhere that he could go. Who could he possibly speak to after he threw him out? But there is one that you can talk to. You can always talk to your rabbit. You can always talk to your rabbitson. They have you for life. He knocks on the door of the closen rabbenburg rabbi says middle east she what are you doing? He told him I got thrown out. Closenber said what' you do? He told him, "Can't be ashamed. You have to say closen I'll take care of it." He goes to the yeshiva himself. No pump, no ceremony, no nothing. He walks into the Manal's office. The Manal sees the closen rebel walk in. You can imagine he fainted. Okay. After they they put the smelling salts in, he stood up. He said, "Rabbi, how I have the great to have you?" He said, "There was a ba that came to my door and he said that he was thrown out of yeshiva." Yeah, Reb, but you have to understand that he's done this several times and you know, whatever. The Reb said to him, "He told me that he's not going to do it again." Then says, "Reb, do you believe that? He's told me how many times he's not going to do it again." The closen reb got excited, turned red in the face and said, "You are telling me that I have no hope. You are telling the closenereb that life is over for him. Do you know how many times I promised the basher that I wouldn't repeat something and I did? So you're telling me that I have no hope. But now I've shrked. They took in the book. He went back to the yeshiva. Few years passed since then and Missim was having a shabas. In the middle of my talk, I mentioned that story. The ber that was thrown out that went to the closenereb came over to me a grown man and told me certain things that I didn't know that happened today the shame ferris that guy we made promise we try maybe the next time we'll be able to do it. >> Wow. Wow. So, what about a different type of scenario that I think a lot of people struggle with, which is their issue isn't so much black and white, which obviously everybody has that issue, but they are they're busy working overwhelmed taxed people working in Manhattan running to and fro 17 and a half kids. The issue is more I don't have time for RN. I just don't have time. It's not that I am bad per se. I just look at my life and I see no time or energy and I know I should be doing more and be more spiritual, more into I just don't have the time and energy. So what's a way to go to Yamkipa with a with a plan for the next year saying I'm going to inject more rrook into my life despite the hectic life that I live phenomenal question >> tough >> it's very tough I think that uh a lot of times the small steps are very very important. People say no, I got to learn the whole thing. I got to do this. It's like you know if a person will do one little thing it will bring them to a higher level in spirituality. If a person says you know what I I really can't learn you know I don't have the time for it. I don't have the head for it because I'm so If the person would say I'm going to learn a day anything the laws about being nice laws of what say take it for five minutes English Spanish Swahili I don't care what you speak take it 5 minutes a day, five minutes on the train. Take a look at it. It is something unbelievable because it will start to inject ris people have a issue with prayer. It's difficult for them. Happened to be somebody came and they said I got a difficulty with I have to confide in the ro. I don't doubt. I said, "Okay, say just say it's the one thing protection for the day." Say the three paragraphs. I said, "Yes, it's too much." I said, "Okay, first paragraph just you have to. Can you do it?" Can >> Why was it too much for him? emotionally >> too much. Could you say just Israel? Yes. The person said I could do that. I told the person according to some shittas. Beautiful. The person called me back. follow up couple of months later and they said rov whatever they came in about they wanted to report and then they said I have some good news I added to the schma I was sure they were going to tell me they did the three paragraphs he said I'm now saying that is great unbelievable That's funny. >> So, >> so small steps basically is what you're >> saying. Little steps. Shabas make kdish. Beautiful. Maked do something. Buy a special treat for yourself. Something that you like. Buy it and put it on the table. It's so difficult sometimes to get that spirituality. people especially now like I should be feeling it rash kipper like I should be on steroid spiritual steroids you know I walk around and they're not so truth get a little bit learn avort pick up a safer that you like pick up something in English hear a good niggan something that's that moves you to a higher calling Um, I tell you the truth, I was very moved by a niggan. Um, the great Kiviver made a I had heard about it, but I never heard it about in I said, I got to hear it. Finally, they got me a clip of the caliber singing. The niggan went straight through me. He's singing it. It went straight through me. You have no idea. I couldn't go to sleep at night because it's unbelievable. A niggan has the power to lift somebody up. Dining a braha. A random mitzvah. person goes to hospital see a patient any patient any anyone and lift them up is a spirituality we begin to think about things uh you know I do the zeros shimsh every day and the I give a sharim for a few years now so uh one is on the telephone one is on the the message I went to visit a patient in outside a hospital. So, uh, I'm in there. All of a sudden, the head nurse comes in, knocks on the door, and says, "You should excuse me, as is confidential, but Rob Goldwir, aren't you supposed to be giving a share in a few minutes?" And I said, "Yes, but I was going to give it from here." Oh, she said, "I thought you give it like from the studio." I said today Mount Sinai Hospital room 972 is a studio. It was amazing thing. I gave the shear. She brought in to the She asked in advance. She brought in this year a non-religious patient. The non-religious patient thought that this was some incredible I'm sitting with this guy. Here's the the head nurse and they come in and I'm talking on the telephone about the the tora of the zer. That was it. At night I get a call from the head nurse. She said the patient would want to know could she get on be a part of it or is it only for religious people? >> Wow. >> Wow. Wow. Amazing. So another aspect of yum kipper is overcoming bad habits and the rub has been at the forefront of dealing with people who have struggles serious serious struggles. Is there a common denominator that the rub has seen from all the thousands of people that you've dealt with that have been struggling with addiction with problems? The ones that succeeded versus the ones that did not. Is there a common denominator, tools that they use, mentalities, perspectives that they may have adopted or actions, things that they've done or learned or read that have helped them that could apply to sort of regular people, although no one's regular, but you know what I mean. Regular people with their simple struggles and and bad habits. Is there a common denominator you saw in your career that you could apply to regular people that they could use in their battles against their bad habits? Is the power of positive thinking? It is. Hashem says you have to have be positive. The way that a person wants to go so they will be led. And if the person has that positive attitude and they want to get out and they want to go and they want to become more spiritual, they will do it. the great. I went into him to the Sorra and I went with his who knew me. We went in together because I wanted to really ask him some tough questions and Rabai was open and I asked him about addiction something. The final question that I ask on behalf of everybody in the world is is it possible to get out of addiction? Is it possible? Rebi and I have it in the beginning of the book. Rebim said with determination with amuna a person can go out of anything. I took his words. I had the I had it written and I put it in the front of the the safer with a positive attitude. A person can do it. If they come and they don't have a positive attitude, very difficult to make any headway. The Torah needs a person's mind and a person's heart. If they want to, they can accomplish anything. The most person that was interreligious can become the most religious. The person that was the most addicted can become a person that is totally totally clean, totally off the stop. It depends on the positive mindset into Hashem that Hashem helps us every step of the way to pull us out that [Music] from every type of doesn't matter what it was Hashem saved them but only when the person says I'm going to come. There was a family that came from England with one of their members and they wanted to have help for an individual that fell into a certain thing. Person came in, they flew. The whole family flew for that. Person came in. Individual not positive attitude. Wouldn't believe that they would ever change. So I said to the individual, "I'm so sorry you made the trip. It's like Baltas. You can't throw out that much money. I'm sorry, but I can't help you. Maybe there is somebody in New York. It's a great place. A lot of good people, a lot of good. Maybe someone else could help you. Person left. >> The family went crazy on me. The family. I mean, I I didn't know I'm starting up with the mob. The family came in. How could you say that? What could you do? do that. Then they said, "This person has never been told that in their life." I said, "Maybe the reason they came to America is they had to hear that one time." >> Wow. >> The person changed their attitude. They they had a little attitude adjustment. Hashem, I dealt with them and they became really really wonderful in past what they were going through. >> Wow. Wow. Is there is there someone who you thought would not make it back? Like they were so drowning in their addiction that even you were surprised that they you were shocked that they came back or you have a positive attitude with everybody and everybody could come back and nothing surprises you. >> In general, I try to be very very positive about everybody in the world. There was one individual that uh I saw it it looked the prospects of them coming out of it were very slim very slim and uh they came out of it after that I said that's it there's hope for everybody don't even think that one person is more or that person is less. For everybody, religiously, everybody, the person that could fight and argue against and argue against everything, that individual could turn around and become a fire brand for Torah, a fire brand for Frai. It's uh >> looking back at your career, do you have more faith in the Jewish nishama now or before you started with the ignorance of not knowing how many troubled souls there are and how far steeped in sin and addiction and and mud one could be. Do you have more faith now in the Jewish nishama or less? >> Much more faith. much more. I have seen the people who have come up so far and gone through so many struggles. If it wasn't for aino with the I am not sure that some of these people would have had the power on their own to be to stand the challenge. It is only the arouchia that they have that they're able to be so strong and so good and come through so much. It it it's it's unbelievable. uh you know I most of the time I deal with our uh mainstream community with the Ben Torah and all of the wonderful people and the communities and uh that you're part of and it's just it it's tremendous occasionally when others come in and I see the gura and the strength of what they're willing to do of how they have to fight so many voices inside to do the right thing and they do. It's unbelievable. I had a father, a father that is taking in a son-in-law and the son-in-law was uh not on the level in a few different ways than the than the father, the future father-in-law. So he came into me and uh he'd be what do I do if he says this and what do I do if he says that and should I ignore this and should I ignore that and which should I tell my daughter should I ever say anything about him should I say nothing about him and everything. He was going to meet him the first time. So I told him everything. I told him what I thought how he could diplomatically deal with it and what was proper according to Torah. He goes to the door. He runs back over and he says, "I want to ask you a question. When I meet him, do I have to take him around or not?" I said, "You you have to take him around." Wow. Wow. Amazing. Amazing. So, let's say a normal person who is struggling with addict addiction or compulsive or bad behavior similar to what we discussed a second ago. They come to Yamkipper and they're they have this issue and they can't get out of this issue. What should their approach be to Hashem? I have this issue. I struggle with internet or my phone or money has taken over my life. My career aspiration, lust, whatever it is, fill in the blank. They see no way out of it. They're not admitting it to their wife or their husband. They're not going to therapy. They're normal person. They're regular normal Jew has this issue. What avenue should they take in their personal growth, especially in Kipper time when they're when it's, you know, top of mind. What a regular person, not anorexia, not severe mental disease. A regular person who has an addiction that is a problem, but they're not seeking outside help and they don't feel like they need to. If they watch a podcast with some intelligent wisdom, they they might take that advice and use it to better themselves. What would the Rev say? I would say that the individual should approach Chuv in general or Yiddish kite and say I am going to do this today. It doesn't matter what I did yesterday, what I did tomorrow. It doesn't matter. I'm going to try. If I try my best and I say to Hashem, I'm gonna be honest. I did this a vera. I'm gonna be honest. I'm not the best. I did a few things. However, I want very much to be close to you. I want to be close to you, Hashem. And I want to open up the power of chuva. Even the person knows that they're going to continue. Even the person in today's generation is crazy because you mentioned there the internet. M we can't even understand the harm that it has done in the world for all people for all ages and what it is done and what has opened up and you know I don't want to say it but people are always with the chat now the GPTP whatever it is and you can ask it all your questions you know uh uh that you want so a young man asked the chat should I commit suicide. Should I be the chat? AI said yes. He went I don't want to say the end such riches in tuma in the world tuma it's very difficult because a person that has like uh that the sultan grabbed on to already to get their grasp off is very hard. However, says I have it I I I copied it off like a number of times. Any Jew even they sunk to the place where they sunk. There is no such a thing as yush. There is no something Hashem. Hashem can help them and lift them up from any place no matter what. Even those of that are to do chuva. Even those that tell us you can't do chuva. Even those you could do chuva. I have it open for unbelievable. Unbelievable. It is user for a Jew to give up to be Msiaish ever because there is nothing there is no there is no hopeless state for a Jew. die. Every moment that a Jew can still live, they can be Msaken. They can fix their life. They can get whatever rectification they might be in need of. So I would tell the ye go on. You did the problems, you did different things. Go on in life. We can be Msakin. We can find a path. We can work on what has gone bad in the past. It is possible no matter where a person is. I have sometimes ya tell me no I can't do this. I had a gaba. This was one of the most startling things. A gaba came in from somewhere out of town. Anywhere out of Brooklyn is out of town. Kitty. There's only one town. But anyhow, uh he comes in from out flew in to ask me a question. He is a gaba by the safer tora. He's a gaba in his show. He does a certain aa and there is once or twice during the year he stands by the safety and they read that a vera. He tells me, "How could I be such a hypocrite, such a low life? I'm very honest. I'm honest to a fault." And I come and I stand there by the sacred like a gaba and they're reading that I want to tell the sh that I don't want to be the gaba anymore. Would you pasin that I shouldn't be the gaba anymore? I said, "I think you came to the wrong rabbi. I pas that you should stay in your position 120 years." He said, "But reb." I said, "Listen, I'm sure any goba that says in the s Torah, I'm sure there's one that he comes across in the year that he's not exactly perfect in. But does every goba quit after they get to their para?" Oh, you're mik. Oh, you're kisa. Oh, you're over there in I know you. No, you got to stay. If you came to me for hat to leave, no milees, you go more and more take more jobs in the shared. You don't start quitting jobs in the shaw. Who knows where the next job you're going to quit. So there's a there's a famous MS which says that the focus of chuva should be asking forgiveness for not completing my tap. Hashem can forgive that I said I can forgive that I ate what I shouldn't have eaten and did what I shouldn't have done. But this says and many others say this, I gave you a nishama that was supposed to bring certain lights into the spiritual light into the world into certain places in the world and you didn't. Going with that train of thought, which you might say we don't go with that train of thought, but going with that train of thought, how is someone supposed to feel like they have a like Hashem gave me a special Hashem has faith in me? I work in an accounting firm with 10,000 employees. I'm one of a million people in my shaw. I'm not a really r I'm not like a scholar. Where do I find my individual connection to Hashem to uniqueness? I'm not spreading Torah. I could barely concentrate on the train learning data. Someone's in my ear. I'm holding on to the bar of the subway. If I have a toughkit and I've been placed into this world to unleash spiritual light, whatever that means, how do I prevent myself from just getting sucked up into the rest of Claire's just being one of a million and sort of hiding myself and my spiritual problems behind the fact that I'm part of a crew and and Clustro? What's the balance between individuality and a seabour basically is what I'm asking if that makes any sense. very much sense. I'm part of the but I'm also I grow with the but I also have to do my personal growth. What was my purpose in coming? I shouldn't feel bad that I didn't do it. I wanted to learn through yami and babi and I didn't do it. I shouldn't feel bad. I still have to still have time a lot of time. The habaka the greatest of all reba mushenu when he came to rebika he couldn't believe it unreal rabi what age should rebuka start didn't wasn't there a tina when he was little rebika what are you doing when are you going to fulfill your tkid finally he's middleage and he has to start an olive base he has to so where' they send him they send him to first Great. Rabik is sitting there. All the kids are there. Some guy comes into sit down with a beer. And the kids, hey, look at that guy over there. Look. Can you imagine the busha? He comes home to his wife. I can't I can't do this. I can't sit there with the two-year-old kids. I can't be there anymore. They know more than I do. Don't ever feel bad. Ryaka. He became the greatest of the greats. We too can't cry over the over the spilled milk. There's some lost time. Okay, I agree. But today I could become a goodby modern day raisar considerably one of the funniest people in arits is one of the greatest stars. A kab that rose high. But yet look what he did. He changed completely. He was M of Yen. He was a DMA. Thousands and thousands of people that used to watch him and be his biggest fans as the biggest star. Now they did char. He's got he's growing a beard. He's whatever. Everybody has that chance. Everybody could be. Everybody could be Uri. We all have that power. We just have to exercise it, not give up, not look in the past. I'm gonna do my tatkid and if I didn't accomplish it last year, I got a new year where I can start and I can strive and I can become somebody great and I can try to do whatever little thing that I know. If I bake good, so I'm going to bake kalas or I'll make a kala bake and we'll be maka people to take to be mafal and we'll sing a niggan. or if I sing nicely so I'll be mahana or I'll go to the hospitals and I'll help the patients and I'll be mazakam whatever I can do if I'm a good artist and I can draw something I'll draw inspirational pictures I'll try to do something that will inspire cla whatever little gift that I have I'll try and help if I can garden and I'm a gardener and that's about all I do but I love to garden I'll go to the sh the yeshiva the bako I'll make for them a beautiful garden. I'll beautify it like they did in Punovich. Every person can do something with their learning. Every person can teach somewhere, can gather a group together on chabas or can gather little kids and say to them, everyone has a world that they can accomplish. They just have to say, you know what, I don't look back. Forget whatever happened in the past. I'm not looking back. As she had a terrible, terrible punishment. She turns into a meal, a pillar of salt. What did she do so bad? She looked back. But says the great slutrimer, Hashem said, "Don't look back." She looked back. You and I, all of CL, we have to know. Don't look back. Forge ahead. Become the biggest sadic. Become the biggest sadist that you can be. Don't worry about the past. >> Wow. So, in conclusion, what would be one takeaway that would can potentially help people? Unless you have another you want to you have a particular thing that you wanted to No, >> I I follow your lead. H my lead takes me to far interesting places so I don't know if it's the best lead to follow but in conclusion is there one message that you think should be ringing in people's ears as they start a new year to help them stay on fire as ye not just yidden but yeden on fire when they go into a new year back to work back to life back into a winter routine what would be one message that could be drumming in their head over and over to remind them to stay on fire. >> What I would say the of the power that lies inside of us, we have no idea how great it is. We deny our own potential. Each of us has explosive potential. We have break out. break break out of those confines of the uh line that I'm not supposed to go over. Do it. Don't worry. Learn it. You never learn. Don't worry about it. Learn it. You never experience a shabas. Go and experience shabas kabo like it's supposed to. When they're singing and dancing and you didn't join it, go and sing and dance. Break that line. Breakthrough. Help out. Be a member of the of the cloud. Know the potential that you have is tremendous. The great said such every generation praises you. We praise Hashem Shabman says a different everybody says oh this generation ah look what's happening look at all the people look at the young people there and people that are off and this and that and look it's not like the old days and everything says the opposite door to door every succeeding generation Hashem's our people improve more and more and more. We have today young people that are on fire. You have older people that are doing chuva. Never like that before. I just met there was a a person came in uh from Chicago, a great Rabbi Kovali brought in a group from Chicago. And one person came over and he said, "I did Chuba. I know I'm a little bit older than uh you would expect. This is a generation of fire. The young people are on fire. They want even the ones that challenge. They want more than anything. I I got to tell you, Rebillo, the priority one invited me one time uh to a special shabas and I was supposed to speak mozzy shabas. So they had a group of guys that were off and they were there Masoy Chabas and there was one of these guys a tall guy that asked me could I talk to you for a few minutes I said yeah program wasn't starting we went into a room there was like a stage like auditorium when a stage be a little private we went on top there the guy was yelling the guy was giving me all his tiness he was getting I I I can't tell you. He He was getting excited and like yelling and so forth. I didn't say anything. I realized he's got a big chip, you know. I didn't say anything. I just listen. I tried to be sympathetic to whatever he was yelling at. Very antagonistic to Yiddish. Finally, somebody came in and said, "Rav, it's time for you to go on. You have to leave." So I said, "I'm sorry. I would like to stay here." you know, be yelled at for a long time. Middle, but I didn't say it. I I I'm sorry. I have to leave now. He says, "Well, could I ask you one thing?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Could I have a hug?" I said, "What?" I thought I didn't hear him. He said, "A hug?" I said, "Yeah." I hugged him. He put his head he's he's tall. Put his head down on my shoulder and began to cry. I thought to myself, the kak of chuba, even a guy that is dead set and is yelling at a rabbi in giving all the anger about Yiddishkai, even that guy, he wants a hug, he wants a hug from the >> Wow. Wow. Thank you very much Rabbi Goldasso for coming on and giving us physic much for all that you do for the club. >> Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you very much. Wow. [Music] You've just experienced another Torah class brought to you by tora anytime.com. Come.