High Holidays & the 12 Steps | Class 1—Rosh Hashanah

Okay. Anywh who, high holidays and 12 steps lesson one class one rashana. Let's talk about it. So as everybody knows the foundation for everything is surrender. We paradoxically surrender to win. that as long as we are fighting, we are hubristically, is that the right adverb? Relying on our own human power, which in many areas of life you can get away with. Not only you can get away with it, maybe you can even excel using human power. But then there are certain challenges that are just too big for human power. And it's not just that putting up a fight is futile. It's that it's counterproductive. You understand the difference? It's not just that our human effort doesn't work or it's ineffective. It's that it actually backfires, makes it worse, creates more drama, makes us even more stuck, tightens the loop in the uh destructive cycle. So paradoxically, we surrender to win. Surrender doesn't mean that I'm going to give in to the bad guys, you know, the forces that are destroying my life. Surrender means that I'm trusting that there is a power, a benevolent power, ultimately the power that made me and makes me that has a plan for me and that rather than me fight, I'm going to let him fight. I one time heard a great example of this. I knew a guy who uh he had many many years, not just years, decades in sobriety and um I heard him sharing once and explaining what his understanding of the program is. He was talking about how this is not a self-help program. This is not about, you know, learning how to manage my life better or manage or let alone, you know, manage my uh my addiction better. He says it's a spiritual program. You get in touch with a higher power and then the problem is removed. So he was explaining this. He said that one time he was a kid and uh he was coming home from school and on his walk home from school he was intercepted by the neighborhood bully. Some you know some neighborhood kid who was a couple years older than him who liked to intimidate other kids. So he said a few words were exchanged, but basically this bully had uh already decided he was going to beat Jimmy up. His name was Jim. Jimmy, little Jimmy. And um so he was thrown to the ground. It was he was pinned down and he was about to get a beating and all of a sudden he heard a voice and it was his older brother. It was Jimmy's older brother and uh his older brother was a teenager who's much older than than Jimmy and even older than the bully. And he just hears the voice say, "Jimmy, is that you?" like is that you under there pinned underneath that bully? So Jim says uh at that moment I did not fight. I did not surrender actively at least. Uh but rather the problem was removed. meaning to say his teenage brother came and pulled the bully off of him. And uh so he explained, you know, that's what it means that we surrender. It means that we allow our higher power to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. So the that's the foundation of everything. And until we allow that to happen, we're still running on human power. That's step one. Step one is that admission of powerlessness, which, you know, many people think, oh, admission of powerlessness. So now you're just basically doom and gloom and you're saying uh there's no way out of this and you're trapped and you're stuck and well I mean if you don't read the next step you know then yeah I guess you might think that but no the admission of powerlessness is that I can't do it and I've proven to myself already that I can't do it cuz the past 10,000 times I promised myself I would act sely and I didn't, right? But then if you continue and then you realize, hold on, um came to believe, oh, there's a power that could restore me to sanity. Um made the decision to turn my life and will over to the care of God. So now it's not that powerlessness means I'm doomed. It means powerlessness. It was the beginning of my allowing myself to have access to a much greater power. So the powerlessness is actually the path to power paradoxically. Now this this is evident to anyone who has worked the steps. Um the question is what does this have to do with Roshashana? Well it has everything to do with Roshashana. Roshashana is a day of surrender of admission. There are many aspects of the holiday and its observance and I think sometimes that gets confusing for people. What is the actual nature of the day, the character of the day? But in the interest of keeping things simple which is usually a good approach to spirituality is to keep things simple. Uh let's try to reduce it to it to its essence. The essence of Roshashana is surrendering to God's authority. And as such it's really an obvious step one so to speak of the year. meaning it's the first day of the year and not only it's the first day of the year, it commemorates the beginning of of creation itself. So Roshashana really is the foundation of everything and it should it should come as no surprise therefore that being that the foundation of everything the first step so to speak of admission of powerlessness that that that Roshashana would be this uh basic acceptance surrender admission and allowing Hashem to be king. allowing Hashem to to to rule to be the authority. I'm not the authority. He is the authority. And that's the foundation of everything. And then we build everything else on top of that. And God willing, you know, we have three weeks here. So we'll talk about how Yim Kipper is built on top of the surrender of Roshashana. And we'll talk about how later Sukus represents the life that we build on top of what we build on on top of Yimipper, which is built on top of Roshashana. But everything is built on Roshashana. And it's it is the foundation not the ground floor but the basement the foundation and the foundation is surrender surrender to God's authority. Okay. So let's talk about first historically just give a little bit of background. [Music] Rashashana is not just the first day of the Jewish calendar but it is an anniversary. It commemorates the creation Interestingly, it is not the anniversary of the first day of the six days of creation. In six days, the world was created. On the seventh day, uh, Hashem rested. But Roshashana is not the anniversary of the first day of creation. It is the anniversary of the sixth day of creation. The sixth day of creation is unique in that it is the day that Odum, the first human was created. And what did Odum, the first human, Adam in English, what did he do when he was created? He accepted Hashem's authority. He accepted Hashem's kingship. And indeed, he was the first being that had the ability to accept Hashem's kingship. The animals couldn't accept Hashem's kingship. They run on instinct. They don't have free will. The plants, yeah, plants also have consciousness. That's why you got to be nice to them. Um, but they also don't have free will. Just like animals don't have free will. Inanimate objects, no free will. Oh, what about spiritual beings like angels? Well, they have incredible consciousness. They are aware of the mysteries of the universe much more than we are. But again, no free will. In fact, that's why the animals are sometimes called the uh the holy animals. Kais kayote literally means animals because they run on instinct. Um so they also have no free will. In other words, they can't rebel. And if you can't rebel, then you can't affirm, you can't accept, you can't submit. Adam was the first being that had free will and therefore his acceptance of God's kingship was meaningful. So Roshashana historically is the anniversary of the moment when Hashem actually became a king because a king is a relationship. The definition of a king is a relationship. You can't unilaterally just call yourself a king. Oh yeah. Well, where are your subjects, right? There are plenty of people uh in the insane asylum who claim to be Napoleon. Okay, show me your army. Right? So, a king means a relationship. Hashem is Hashem with or without us. He doesn't need to create or to have beings with free will who can affirm his uh his existence in order for him to exist. He exists because he exists. He doesn't need anything outside of himself in order to exist. But to be a king, yes, he does need subjects because that's the definition of a king. So it's a sort of a beautiful concept here. Roshashana is not just the day that we I'm saying we because collectively we're all descended from from the first human from Adam. It's not just the day that we submitted and we accepted Hashem's kingship. It is the day that Hashem became a king because until we crown him, he is not a king. He's Hashem. He's the creator. He's the prime mover of all. He is absolute existence, unconditional existence. He is what he is. But until we accept him, he is not a king. And that's what repeats itself every year on Roshashana. Not only does something happen for us, something happens for Hashem and something happens for the world consequently, which we'll talk about right here. What happens for us is that we renew our submission and surrender to God. We admit that we did not put ourselves here. We admit that the world cannot exist without its creator. And we submit not only to that fact but we also submit to Hashem's will meaning his will for us. And that's part of the dedication or the rededication that takes place in Roshashana is that we accept that we are going to live our lives not according to our own self-will. That's what happens for us. And that's the primary avoida. That's the Hebrew word for the work. That's the primary work that needs to be done on Roshashana is that act of submission. What happens for Hashem is that he so to speak becomes king again. Like I said, he will always exist. He existed for infinity, eternality before there was a world and will after there's a world. But he becomes a king when we crown him. It's sort of like, you know, if a man isn't married, he's still himself, but he's not a husband. And it's not until his wife accepts him as her husband that he becomes a husband. Then imagine sort of like a renewal of vows, reaffirms that he is her husband. So, Hashem becomes king again every year. Hashem becomes the authority again every year. And not just in microcosm of our lives obviously it's when I accept Hashem as my authority that makes him king over my life but by extension actually this is what I want to say that not only is there there's something that happens for us and Roshash something that happens for Hashem something that happens for the world when we accept divine authority on Roshashana that causes Hashem to be king over the world again on the macro level. And how does that work? There's an interesting concept that the world is renewed really every single second. Creation something from nothing is taking place every single second by definition. But um on a more particular level, the world is ruined every year. What What does that even mean? How how can they both be true? Okay. Um the world is created every single second because by definition, the world comes something from nothing. And nothingness will constantly strain to revert to its default state of non-existence if not constantly having somethingness imposed upon it. So the world is created something from nothing every single second. But uh on the other hand, the power which brings the world into being is um allotted a year's worth at a time. Think about it like this. God allotss a year's worth of energy that is sufficient for operating the entire cosmos. And by that I don't just mean the physical universe. I mean the spiritual universes as well which are even more complex and extensive than the physical universe. So so there's an aotment of a year's worth of energy every year when on Roshashon as a response to our accepting his authority his kingship. This is based on the words from Dvarim Yud Alf Deuteronomy 11:12. We're told about the holy land about the land of Israel. It's a land that Hashem is constantly looking after. Hashem is always uh sort of investigating what's happening in the holy land and it explains that through looking out for what's going on in the holy land then by by extension he's examining and evaluating the entire world uh a land that Hashem's eyes are always upon from the beginning of the year till the end of the year. Well, hold on a second. If Hashem's eyes are upon the land, taught me constantly. Then why would you say from the beginning of the year to the end of the year? That makes it sound like it's only for that set amount of time, beginning to the end. Oh, you mean from the beginning to the end, and then once one year ends, the next year begins. Okay, fine. Then you should have said just always. He's always looking at the land. How can it be both? How can it be he's always looking at the land from the beginning of the year to the end of the year? Okay, so the cabbalistic explanation which resolves this apparent contradiction in the words of the verse is that he is constantly effectively he is constantly looking upon the land. Um, but he does it from the beginning to the end, which means that there's a commitment on a yearly basis that I'm going to renew this contract. We're going to do this project. You know, remember, Hashem is absolute existence. He doesn't need to be a creator. So, the fact that creation exists is is by virtue of his decision that creation is a worthy project. Well, on what basis does does Hashem decide that creation is a worthy project? On the basis of our being interested in accepting his authority because then there's a relationship and then there's what to be involved in. But if we're not interested in a relationship, what does what does he need a world for? For, you know, to put it on a shelf and to collect worlds to to to prove something that he could that he can make a world. The world is only significant in as much as it's the form within which we have a relationship with him. So when we accept Hashem and Roshash, Hashem infuses the world with a year's worth of energy. Now like I said earlier, the world is constantly being recreated every single second. So you know it's like every year is uh the deposit to the account and then every day you take a certain withdrawal from the from the ATM. Okay. Um, and in fact, that's a concept that our sages discuss. There's two different talic passages which seemingly contradict each other. It says, "A person is judged every day. A person is judged every year." And how do you reconcile the two? Okay, in a similar manner in which we've explained, meaning there's an allotment for the year based on what? Based on our acceptance of Hashem's authority on Roshashana. the anniversary of when when Hashem's authority was first accepted by the first human being and then on a day-to-day basis we make withdrawals withdrawals from the ATM so to speak again by submitting to his will on an in on an active basis on an ongoing basis on a dynamic basis throughout the year. Okay. So that's the main concept that Roshashana is not just happy new year 5786. Can you believe it? Um, Roshashana is the day when all of the energy of the cosmos have depleted and Hashem tentive tentatively looks to us and says, "We going to do this again? What do you say?" Now, the beautiful thing about it, I would even call it romantic, is that the ball's in our court. Hashem doesn't say, "I'll get back to you. Let me know what you want to do and I'll I'll let you know if I'm interested as well." Hashem actually says, "I'm ready to commit based on what you say. If you want to do this, let's do it." And there's a certain vulnerability in that that Hashem gives us the power. The power to do what? the power to recognize that he is the power. That's a beautiful concept. Hashem backs off and says, "I will not force you to choose me. I will not force you to accept my reality even though I am absolute reality. I will let you choose. You have this power. You can rebel. God forbid. You can deny, God forbid, avoid, God forbid, or or you can affirm. And if you do choose to affirm, says Hashem, I am ready to not only give you a good, sweet new year, but I'm ready to recreate the entire cosmos, something from nothing for another year. It's worth it. it's worth it as a form within which to have this relationship with you. So it's a very powerful concept. Okay. Now I want to talk about another aspect of Roshashana which is somewhat confusing to many people and I think particularly to people with a recovery background and that is the dominating for all the stuff. Give me health, give me uh good parnosa, you know sustenance, a good livelihood. um take care of my family, all the stuff that we think about when we're in shul for all those hours. So even if you didn't have a recovery background, it does sound a little funny. You know, you just said that rashan is about accepting Hashem's authority, submitting to the king. And now you're saying no, it's really about making a list of I don't know if we call them demands, but even if it's requests, it's like, is this about us or is this about God? Are we submitting to him or are we submitting our list to him? You know, there's a big difference between submitting to his authority and submitting a list for him to uh you know, the honeydew list, right? The honeydew list. We're giving God, even if we do it politely with a smile, but it's still you're giving him a honeydew list. Um, so what's up with that? Now, if you have a recovery background, it's even more jarring. And I've heard people in recovery say that specifically that they they their challenge their challenge in uh high holiday services is you know all this like praying for a good sweet new year and it's like hold on you know in in step work we talk about prayer especially in uh step 11 where prayer is explicitly mentioned sought through prayer and meditation to prove our conscious contact with God as we understood him praying saying only only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out. So you know in that context and I've heard people actually make this argument like I'm talking about people who are sober, people who are in recovery. They'll say all this fixation on a good, sweet, healthy, happy new year is, you know, it's dangerous for me. Gets me into entitlement. Gets me into selfseeking. And that's not that's not how I pray. I pray only, you know, like the 11th step says, just only for knowledge of his will for me and power to carry that out. So that's that's a great point. Fantastic point. Um, it's actually the subject of a major part of the Roshashana service. I mean, the discussion of this topic is a major part of the Roshashana service specifically the uh the Ha Torah reading you know after the Torah reading. So the Torah reading on the first day is the binding of Isaac. the near sacrifice of Isaac by Abraham. Um but then there's what's called the half Torah. The half Torah is from the Nvim, right? Because the Torah reading is from the five books of Moses. Then the the half Torah is and it does not by the way mean half Torah. A lot of people think it's the h like you know a full Torah and a half. It's not. It's nothing. It's it's a it's nothing to do with the word half. Um ha tora means it's a Hebrew word. Haftra means departure or removal or like moving away from you have the main reading and then you move away from the main reading and you pivot transition into the write the reading from the nave. Nive means the prophets. So in this case the reading from the prophets on the first day of Roshashana is from the book of Shmul book of Samuel and it's actually about the birth of Schmool of Samuel. It's actually more the story not of but of his mother or Hannah and that's the the ha reading for the for the first day of Roshashana. So let's talk about that a little bit. Um Khana lived in the time of Mishkan Shiloy. Mishkun just means uh sanctuary, but in this case it's a very specific sanctuary. It's the continuation of the sanctuary that was built by Moses in the desert for 40 years. And then it was when they when they entered the the promised land, it was uh constructed in various different sites. One of them being the place called Sheila. Some called Shiloh, but that makes me think about Civil War battles. Um, Shilo is how I say it. So, yeah, most people with my accent would say it that way as well. Okay. Anyways, so there was the Mishkin Shilo. This is so my point is before the Bas Mikdash, before Solomon's temple in Udishim in Jerusalem. So, there was the Mishkan Shilo. At any rate, that was the holiest place on earth. That's the place where the keshim the holy of holies was with the um the you know the uh the ark with the with the tablets and you know where the kod would enter kipper the high priest on on the day of atonement. So that was the holiest place on earth. Anyways there was this very holy Jew named Elona. He would go to the Mishkan Shili all the time bring sacrifices and Elconor had two wives. He had a wife named Kana and she was barren and he had a wife named named Pineina. Pineina was fertile. At any rate, um Hana was heartbroken about her infertility. And so we read in the story of uh of Kana that viter nad she took a vow I'm reading from uh the ha tora of the first which is from alfaf alf meaning first book of Samuel chapter 1 right there in the beginning like I said This is before Samuel's even born. It's about how he was born. Okay. So, chapter one and um this is verse 11. She uh vowed a vow and and and she said Lord of hosts, if you will look upon my my affliction of of your servant, meaning of me and you'll remember me and you won't forget your maidservant, meaning me. and you'll give me a son. You'll give me a son. I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life. And a razor will not come upon his head. What does that mean? No razor will come upon his head. It's talking about a Nazerite vow, a noir. It's a certain vow that a person would take to be extra holy, to devote himself or herself. A woman can also be an aszerite to devote yourself to God on an extra level even beyond what the regular law requires. Okay. So that's the background. What happens? She was praying at length. Well, doesn't say she was praying. It says, it says that here she was praying a lot, maybe more than than normal, more than what was considered normal. The apo and a was the he was the high priest at that time. He was watching her mouth like what's going on here? was speaking to her heart, meaning she wasn't talking out loud. She was meditating. Her mouth was moving. Her m her lips were moving, but her voice was not heard. A thought she was drunk. He thought she was drunk. And a said therein, how long will you be drunk? Hannah answered and she said, "No, my master. I am a woman of broken spirit. I'm not I didn't drink anything. I'm pouring out my heart. I'm pouring out my soul before God. deliver not your servant, meaning herself, before the unscrupulous woman. For out of the abundance of my complaint and my vexation have I spoken until now. meaning she's saying this is stuff that's very difficult for me. I'm processing a lot of pain over here. And a answered and said, "Go in peace. It's all good. Don't worry about it." And not only that, should grant your request that you asked of him. What's going on here? What is going on here? So, I'll tell you a deeper understanding of this story. Basically, first of all, you have to know a little bit about the laws of the holy temple, how it functioned, and it's not something that even a very religious Jew would know because unfortunately, the temple's been destroyed for 2,000 years. So, it's not a part of our day-to-day religious observance. But if you would learn the Rambam, if you' learned my manities, and if you would learn uh the laws of the temple and its day-to-day functioning, you would know that if someone were suspected of being drunk in the temple, they do not have a conversation with that person. They are immediately physically ejected. So if Ay thought that Hana were uh drunk, she would have been tossed out of the B mdash not the Mishkan immediately. When he says, "Are you drunk?" What he means is I don't get it. You're in the holiest place on earth. This is the location of the Holy of Holies. The place where the where he's divine presence dwells. and you're here to talk about yourself. Are you drunk? Meaning, are you that indulgent? Are you that self- consumed? You're standing in front of God. You should be thinking about God, not about yourself. So, she explains, "No, no, I'm a broken a woman of broken spirit. I'm have all, you know, I'm not coming in here allottaughty, all entitled. I'm not coming in here telling God what to do." bossing God around. She says, "Anything here that I'm talking about, it's not for me. It's for God." And she reveals to him what we already know. What it said right before she was praying and Ay saw her praying. We already know she vowed a vow. What did she vow? She said, "Hashem, give me a child that I should give him to you. I'm going to devote him to you all of the days of his life." And not only he'll be devoted to you all the days of his life. after Schmool was weaned. I mean, he needed obviously he needed to be with his mother for a certain amount of time, but after he was weaned, um she brought him back to the Mishkun, back to the sanctuary and he lived there and he apprenticed uh a he lived there and he was brought up there in in in the sanctuary and indeed he was a Nazer. He was he had that that Nazarite vow. No, no razzor came upon his head which again shows an extra level of devotion or of commitment to Hashem. Meaning to say that Kana is telling a you're suspecting me of being drunk, which means spiritually drunk, emotionally drunk, which means indulgent, that I'm standing in front of God. Instead of thinking about God, I'm thinking about my needs. You're right. That would be pretty drunk. But that's not the sitch. That's not what's going on over here. I'm not asking for anything for myself. I'm asking for something for God. I'm not praying for me. I'm praying for God. I want God to have a son. And I'm asking for the ability to be the one who gives him a son. So I don't want a son to keep. I want a son to give away. That's what we read. She made a vow. She said to Hashem, "If you see my affliction and you remember me and you give me, you give to your maidervant, I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life." So when a understood that Kana wasn't there for herself, she was there for God, then he said, "Ah, you're very sober. You're not drunk at all. You're very sober. That's beautiful. And you should get everything that you're asking for. You should get everything that you're asking for." So, you know, you think about a sober prayer where we're not asking for our personal will to be done. We're only asking for God's will to be done, but we're also asking that we should be instruments of carrying out God's will. We don't want to just be passive audience members watching God's will get done. We want the privilege to be instruments of God's will. And that's one thing that we do ask for. Yes. And so the 11th step says we ask for knowledge of God's will for us because I got to know what to do and power to carry that out. I got to be able to do it. Um I'll take you to a prayer that's in the big book. Um, page 63. The third step prayer. Let's look at the third step prayer from page 63. God, I offer myself to thee to build with me and to do with me as thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self so that I may better do thy will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of thy power, their love and thy way of life. May I do thy will always. Interesting. Is this prayer asking for anything? And the answer is yes. It certainly is. Well, how is then how is the third step prayer consistent with the 11th step? the 11th step itself which tells us to uh only pray for God the knowledge of God's will first and the power to carry that out but let's look at the third step prayer it begins with a surrender I offer myself to thee to build with me and to do with me as thou wilt okay so that's I'm giving myself to you and furthermore relieve me of the bondage of self meaning I want to not only give myself to you but then like be this unwilling sort of uh begrudging participant. No, relieve me of the bondage of self. Yeah, I'm asking for something right now. I am asking for you to take away this this self-will that's causing me a lot of pain. But that's not why I'm asking. I'm asking that I should be a better servant. I'm trying to give myself to you over here. So, help me out. Help me out in giving myself to you that I may better do thy will. I mean, bottom line, that's what it's for. It's not in order to alleviate my pain. Yeah, my ego has caused me a lot of pain, but I'm not asking for you to remove the the boundaries of self so that I can relieve my pain. Maybe that was my motivation to come in here, right? But no, at this point in the third step prayer, I'm saying, God, that I may better do thy will. I'm trying to work for you. Trying to work for you. Now, watch what happens. There's a subtle pivot in the prayer, but it's not even a pivot because it's not changing directions. It it it's kind of a surprise if you're not really understanding how full the surrender is. Once you realize that we're working for God, then of course you get a company credit card. If you work for a company and it's lunchtime and you want to go out for lunch and you want to go to a restaurant instead of peanut butter jelly sandwiches in a brown paper bag, that's up to you. But you got to pay for that because it's your lunch. But if the boss says, "Take out some clients and wind them and dine them and close the deal." Now, the company's got to pay for that company credit card. Okay? If I work for God, I get a company credit card. Not so that I can have a nice lunch. It's not about my lunch. It's about taking out the clients and closing the deal for the owner of the company. So, take away my difficulties could sound if somebody didn't understand the context here, could sound very selfish. Now you telling God to take away your difficulties. Are you giving God a laundry list? No, no. It's in the context of having just surrendered. I'm trying to do God's will. I'm trying to be an instrument for God. So now I'm saying, God, let me really get into this. Take away my difficulties. Not for me. Not for me. That victory over them may bear witness to those who I would help of thy power, thy love, and thy way of life. May I do thy will always. Bottom line. May I do thy will always. It's about me doing God's will. So when I even when I ask take away my difficulties, it's not so my life will get better. It's so that my service of God will be more thorough and complete that I'll be able to help more people. So Kana says to Aay, "You think I came here because I had a personal problem and I wanted God to be my celestial butler and to fix my personal problem." That's not what's happening here. I came here to surrender so thoroughly that even that mo that most painful area of my life, my my my childlessness, this kind of speaking, my infertility, which is the most personal and and and painful issue in my life, but I'm not here to get that fixed. I'm here to ask God, allow me the merit and the privilege to give you a child. Even if naturally, I'm not supposed to be able to have a child. Biologically, I'm not supposed to have a child. But if you so will it, God, give me that honor and that privilege to give you a child. And then this child is going to serve you all the days of his life and we're going to devote him to an extra special level of holiness. Ay hears that and he's like, "Oh, I got you all wrong. I thought you were drunk and you are actually the most sober person. May your requests all be fulfilled." Right? That's what happens. So comes Roashan. Uh, got to have a sip of coffee. Hold on. And we're in Schul and we're crowning God and we're saying things in our maker and our Roshashana prayer book like rule over the entire world. We're crowning God. In fact, the whole cha the when we sound the shaifer the ram's horn that is a coronation ceremony that's symbolism of it. It's coronation ceremony. Okay. And we're submitting to the authority of God. It's the anniversary of when Adam when the first man submitted to the authority of God. It's all about the beginning of the year and the foundation building the foundation upon surrender submission. And then all of a sudden we sneak in a bunch of personal requests. Seems so wildly inappropriate. Ah, but here's what you got to understand. If we didn't first approach it as a day of surrender, then all of these requests these requests would be wildly inappropriate. But when you understand that it's a day of surrender, it's a day where I say, let's talk practical. God, my existence is only valuable in as much as I am surrendered to you. I'm not here to pursue my own agenda. I recognize here on this day of Roshashana that I exist to as much as possible align myself with your agenda. Well, once that's the mode we're in, then of course, not only you're allowed to, but it's the deepest expression of submission to talk about the pain points like Kana's pain point was her barrenness, her childlessness, and that area where she was most agrieved. D, she still wanted to try to serve God in that area. So when we're asking Hashem for our requests, these are not casual requests. These are actually our pain points. These these are actually the areas of life that have given us the most amount of trouble. And we're asking for Hashem to help us and to to remove those challenges. Not so that we can have an easier life because life's not about us anymore. That we we we know that we're asking Hashem in the spirit of submission of surrender. Give us the privilege and the honor of glorifying you in this world. If we've been struggling in a particular area this past year or maybe even for many years, we say to Hashem this year make a kdeshm keshm means sanctification of God's name. And we say like for instance when somebody who represents God misbehaves that's called aem god forbid desecration of God's name makes God look bad when when a person who professes faith behaves immorally. Conversely if a person who represents God behaves in a in an exemplary way that people admire that's called a kdishem a sanctification of God's name. It glorifies God. Well, we're asking God, hey, we would like to glorify you this year. Everyone knows that we've surrendered. You know, we we're we're walking around with the company uh we're wearing the uniform, okay? Whether we like it or not, people equate us with uh we represent we represent the the corporation here. So what we're saying is do do a kdish hashem sanctify your own name God not because we want to have an easier life. really really I submitted I'm ready to not have an easier life but because when I will have victory I mean just the wording of the third step prayer take away my difficulties that victory over them will bear witness to those I would help of thy power thy love and thy way of life may I do that will always give me a leg to stand on when I'm going and carrying the message and I'm trying to help other people, [Music] what's it going to look like if a newcomer comes to the rooms and I tell him, "I've been here for 20 years and I can't put together more than uh a few weeks of sobriety and, you know, I I I don't have a stable home life and I can't hold a job." So, you know, for the sake of being able to help the newcomer, Yeah. help my family, help my uh my financial uh situation, my mental health, my whatever it is, just get me stabilized. Give me an exemplary life that'll actually allow people to uh to be helped by me. Right? So that's the whole mystery of Roshashana. Is it about crowning God or is it about coming to him with all of our personal requests? And the answer is yes. Is it A or is it B? And the Jewish answer is always C. Which means once we've crowned God, once we've submitted to him, then naturally we come to him with all of our personal requests, but not for our personal agenda. Only for his agenda. And like Kana, the more that we can bring ourselves and we can't always bring ourselves to do this. Sometimes it's too painful. Sometimes it's too painful. Sometimes you can't go there. Some you just can't do it. But you know on Roshashana this year if you're in Shul which is ideally the place to be and you're praying and you can think about some of those areas that have been the most challenging for you the areas that have really given you a run for your money. you know, the the areas that have caused you the most heartbreak and turn to Hashem and ask him to help you have victory in those areas. Not because you're trying to spare yourself any amount of pain. You've already surrendered and you're continuing to surrender and you're you're you're in an active state of surrender to him, submission. But you say to Hashem, these are the pain points. If I can have victory in these areas, if I can make a kdesh Hashem in these areas, this would allow me to do even more for you. Not for me, for you. And of course, what's the real proof that we mean it? Cuz everyone could say that. The proof that we mean it is if God says to you, "No, this year I want you to sanctify my name by struggling," then we'll accept that humbly as well. But by the same token, if God says to us, you know what? I think this is the year that I want you to sanctify my name by having incredible revealed blessings in your life personally and financially and in your health and in in your mental health and in all areas of your life. I want you to have breakthroughs and open miracles and I want you to use all that to to bring people to me. Then we'll humbly accept that as well. whatever he wants for us because we've we've we've submitted already. We know whatever he wants for us is good. Anyways, that's that's the basic concept. Um yeah, anyone in the YouTube chat wants to get in a question or two, I don't mind to field some questions. Otherwise, we'll see you for the next class. It's not a regular schedule because I had to schedule around the holidays obviously. So, uh, whatchamacallit I, uh, the next class is, let me just pull it up. If you want to be on live with us, the next class is maybe just want to write it in the chat because I don't remember. Uh the Yim Kipper class will be Thursday, September 25th again at 1:30 p.m. Eastern time and we'll speak about Yim Kipper about the Day of Atonement. Okay. All righty. Um yes, we'll see you then. And uh you should be written and sealed for a good year. Health, happiness, all all good things materially and spiritually. And thank you so much for joining me.