Why Your Prayers Feel Empty & How to Fix It | The Hidden Power of Hebrew Prayer – R' Botton Q&A

You could take the smartest rabbis, even even holy rabbis. You could take great great people and we all make, myself included, the same mistake. Is to talk to God, but before you start talking to God, you put "Be back in 20 minutes" sign. And something, not you, but something is causing your lips to move and your body to shake, you know, as if we And then you wake up 20 minutes later, "I'm back." Or or a higher level, and that's already absent-minded completely, a higher level is you start to talk to God and it becomes like a mantra for your mind to just surf in the abyss of thought. And it's like, "Oh, yeah. I didn't do that. I got to do that. Oh, that was cool. That's a nice thought." And then you just saying words in Hebrew, of course. In English it's harder to do cuz when you read in English you got to think about what you're saying. And you come back like, "Oh, I'm back. What a wonderful What a wonderful journey I just had. Oh, I mean Oh, you were here all along." Stop and tell yourself, "This is an opportunity to talk to God." And it's just it's just insane. Only an insane person would talk to someone and have have zero a zero conscious level of what he's saying to that person. It doesn't happen anywhere else in our real lives. And so we have to take God real. He has to be real for us. We have to stop and talk to him. Now, I'll admit, praying in Hebrew if you're American and you don't understand it, so obviously that's not what I'm talking about. Because you can't talk to God in Hebrew if you don't understand Hebrew. And even if you do understand Hebrew, like I do, thank God after suffering and slaving, I thought I'll never understand Hebrew, but thank God Hashem makes miracles and I do understand Hebrew now. And the point is this. It's impossible to pray to God in Hebrew if you don't understand it. And so because of that reality that's part of Jewish practice that's common. So we get used to turning off and tuning out when we talk to God and that's tragic. That's tragic cuz it becomes a non-me experience. I'm somewhere else. And and I and there's no other way to be but somewhere else. So what does a person do? So So here we have to realize our limits and we have to do what we have to do. And so today we're we're exempt from having kavana which means we're having having understanding and intent when we pray in Hebrew if we can. But we still have to do that. But we should understand there's only one part. It's only one part of talking to God. It's my soul talking to God on the level of being a a divine creation connecting with the 22 letters of the aleph-bet which are the DNA of creation that God spoke these same letters and words to bring all things into being. And when I tap into that it's something bigger than me. It's beyond me. So it's actually not being disconnected. It's It's a humility and connecting with my entire soul giving up my conscious thought experience. And that's that's that's meritorious and it's not only necessary, it's it's your obligation. You are you you're It's you're obligated to do it. But it's only part one of what we're doing. Actually part two. Part one of talking to God always was and always will be God, I need you. I'm hurting over here. No one knows it more than you do. Help me. Don't forget about me. And I I was all that makes no sense cuz he knows all of this anyway because it's for me. Without having God to talk to I become all alone. And no one wants to go life alone. The Torah says it in the very first words, it's not good for man to be alone. Notice God creates Adam alone and then tells Adam it through our Torah and we're taught it that it's not good to be alone. So, why would God do something that's not good? The answer is he did not make Adam alone. There were no other human beings in the world with Adam, but there was something else much greater. God was with him. And so the secret here is that when you're alone, standing to pray, you're not alone. You're with Hashem. Just like Adam was in those first moments of his existence. And just like he turned to the only place to turn to, God Almighty, and spoke to him in these beautiful aleph-bet 22 letters of creation from his essence, we do that every time we stand before God and have the humility and discipline and responsibility to say, "Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu v'Elohei avoteinu." When we read the words of tfillah that have been set for us, it's very limiting, but you know, when you take a strings and you attach them to a violin, very limiting. Look what music you can create. When we allow ourselves to be that vessel for God to reveal and to speak the the the beautiful words of creation, letters of creation, nothing can be better than that, but there's a price to pay. I don't enjoy it. I don't It's not ice cream for me. It's medicine. But it's a medicine that cures me on every level of my soul and fixes the world on every level. And everything I just said is, unfortunately, because of our lack of connection to our essence, is is option number two. Option number one is to to come as I am, like Ishmael himself, ba'asher husham, Ishmael, a young lad, forget exact age, sick, dying. He turns to God, not with all this Kabbalah, not with the language of creation, but from the depths of his heart, and can't even say words. Just cries out to God, and God hears him. And everything that was invested in that calling, that cry from the heart, and says, "Not only am I going to heal you, I'm going to make miracles for you. I'm going to bless you." And that's what we also are. Ishmael means God listens, or will listen. God listens to us. But when he listens to us, it has to be in us. It has to be what I have to say now. And that's the me in it. That's not the humility, that's just being personal. That it's it's just me and you. And if I'm going to talk to you and it's not me, it's not talking, it's nothing. Better off not doing it. And that has to be done in a language you understand, from your heart, from your mind, from your perspective, from your life experience. You turn it all to Hashem. It's the greatest conversation you'll ever have with yourself and God at the same time. Here's the deepest secret to true conversation, and truly talking to God. And that is this. Anytime you start to talk to someone else other than you, there are a lot of calculations you make in your mind. Who I'm talking to. What he is to me, or what she is to me. What I think, what what world I'm I'm related to as I speak to this person. When you speak, it's a meeting of minds, of it's a it's it's it's a connection on so many levels, I can't even begin to elaborate on it. And therefore, when you turn to God to speak to him, the you that comes to speak to God is a you that probably hid from you most of your life. But in those moments you could find that real you, and connect to this real creator God. It's a a moment of therapy, of psychology of therapy, psychology, whatever It's a moment where you can accomplish more than you ever imagined and dreamed of. Because it's the most real conversation you'll ever have. It's the conversation that Adam had with God. When God says, "Where are you, Adam? I miss you. You were here yesterday. Where did you go?" Oh my goodness, where did I go? That's Talking to Hashem is really finding the you inside. And that that that place that you really belong. Talking about being all in, 100% where you are. This is when you're 100% where you are when you talk to God in your own words. Using your mind, your heart, using your life experiences and tapping into your soul. So So, we have two steps to be all in when we pray. Two steps. Number one, humility. Connect with God on his terms in his world using the the the technical mechanism created for us by him and the sages, knowing that when I do that, I'm fixing all the worlds. And I'm fixing my soul in a way that I can never dream of doing on my own. But then, there is a moment where you are on your own. And you have to find that companion in you in your personal life, in your personal experience and journey. Understand you have a father, a king, a friend, a lover. Always with you. And And that's what we carry with us. And when we have that conversation, that dialogue with God our entire lives, that's the remedy to to everything. So, there are three things. There's the humility of praying in Hebrew even though I don't understand it. And you're accomplishing a lot. Then there is once I understand Hebrew to invest and work very hard to turn that praying in Hebrew into both a conscious experience and that ultimate soul experience. Everyone's on their own level. It's a constant battle, ups and downs. And the third level, which is really the most essential core of who we are, is a constant dialogue and conversation with God anywhere, anytime. Cuz Hashem's always there with you. And so when you feel the need to turn to him and talk to him, it's in your own words and your own way of from the heart of the most personal experience we can have. And that could be just some tips for practically speaking. That could be when you before you start to pray in Hebrew, it could be at the end of your praying in Hebrew. It could be at the end of the Shmoneh Esrei. You could just pour it all out and again, it doesn't have to be audible. It could even just be moving your lips in in your mind and just moving your lips. But these are areas where you could fulfill that third type of prayer. We're really talking about three different aspects of prayer right now.