Why ''Spiritual You'' Teshuva is Sustainable: Safe from Burnout - Rabbi Efraim Stauber

[Music] today I want to discuss what may be a question on the whole thing I've discussed this whole system with my herb a man with lots of people and there's one question that I've been hearing from a clump anyone involved in trying to help people do Chuba the same idea keeps coming up again and again and what they say is it doesn't last all these clairenhan nefesh ideas all these plans do this for five minutes a day do that around it you know it's great when you're feeling motivated but experience seems to show that people don't have what it takes to keep this going in the long term you could do it for a low maybe because recession is coming and then Yom Kippur is coming but then seconds comes and the party begins and that natural motivation to push isn't there so who's doing a husband a nephesh and you know in the middle of debates I mean who's doing the husband a fish it's just it's just it doesn't last so what I want to let you know is this is different to explain to you why this system is different and it will last and it's very simple the difference is what kind of motivation is it is it external or is it internal motivation if your motivation is a low if your motivation is your Mahad in on Rosh Hashanah and oh my gosh the books of life and death are open and Hashem is deciding if I'm gonna be healthy if I'm gonna get married if I'm gonna have children oh sure that's a motivation but it's an external motivation the external motivation leaves it's only a matter of time until we sink back into the have a husband blah blah blah regular old thing we're not good at committing and sticking with things for long term but that's not what we're doing here I'm not telling you you should change you should feel guilty you know let's have a little fun with that you know because we should we really should god gives us everything God you know weird we're so we're so grateful Hashem gives us our life to give us something we have when we just were just something mean to him you know we were people you know the expression people say oh you know just dabbing it up just say it quickly I'll tell a little story I was once saying kiddush navona so you know how it is if you're a Jewish male you do this like once a month right after Marv on matzah Shabbos you go outside there is like a relatively new moon few days after Rosh Hodesh you open your sitter in the pale moonlight and you say uh blessing now part of that whole system the minute is the custom is you turn to the guy next to you and they say Shalom Aleichem and do that 3 times preferably to three different people Sean will a time home away from shall we let me then you go back to continue whatever is that you're saying so on time I'm saying you know I'm doing my Kurdish upon over huh and suddenly a guy goes no matter it goes back he keeps raining no I had an issue with that so I went over Tim after and is one of my favorite routines I went over to my I said you know this is a problem here you know what the problem here is he looks at me like what's going on the problem here is that you think that I am God and I will not stand for that kind of treatment but I really think you're weird right that's right that's right because people pray to God but that's a disgusting way to talk because you know and that's where you talk to God you know what I am NOT God and I refuse to be treated that way if you want to talk to me I contact a little human connection what's this business you tell me something like um something which I'm like um no no no no what is he Sean alaikum stick out your hands say hello you think I'm God but I refuse to be stepped on that way I wonder how my god you get to step on me I'm a human being treat me with a modicum of respect okay big guy that other guy just ran away I remember another time I was a few learning a liquid and yeah it's a big place thousands people no one really says hi to each other I was actually walking outside one day and the guy says Trombley come I was shocked it was full over here alone do serve honor yeah anyway the point is we're not nice to God he gives us everything in the world and we just which is rude to him so sure we need to do Chuba and so we could give you a smooth like this and you say yes it isn't right I need to change I need to start dobbing with Kevon and paying attention to what I'm saying that's gonna last but how will it last for a long time usually it doesn't what's different about this Trueba system that all those external system level using guilt and obligation is we're talking about pleasure and pain and as long as we live we're going to seek pleasure let's say for two weeks I didn't seek pleasure let's say I forgot to do my pleasure and effort so if I'm working with the guilt thing and the obligation things like oh man I've been 2 weeks a bad person I am so guilty what usually happens is we just kind of give up we throw in the towel so somewhere in the middle of the winter we're like oh it's so far from L oh whatever I'll just be like the other billion people walking around planet Earth not making a Kashmir nefesh I'll worry about this next L but when the motivation is not obligation and guilt when the motivation is pleasure so just because I had a bad time for two weeks I have to continue having a bad time no one says that after a while we're just gonna regret and feel more pain you know what I'm not enjoying my life the way I could be I am NOT actualizing was how I'm feeling I'm I haven't been doing this class meron nefesh and i know that when i was and i was feeling better i learned how to chase pleasure that comes from actually activating actualizing who i really want to be so since the motivation is not guilt or obligation rather it's our own search for pleasure and avoidance of pain it's impossible to get burnt out because no one gets burnt out from pleasure and no one gets burnt out from trying to run away from pain so come and join us send your email to the Terry Center Jim Oh calm and let's learn how to have a great life through a chinois Chester [Music] [Applause]