Why So Many Good Singles Struggle to Find their Soulmate - Sharone Lankry

You know, last time that I was here, it was phenomenal. We were at Russian Kabad and everybody was sitting around and listening and it was like a great class about preparing for the sedite for Nissan for Pesak. But when I looked around, I said, "Ah, I chose the wrong class." Because even though it was great and it was a nice preparation for the but nevertheless when I saw all the people around me I say you have to talk about everybody here is single. Am I right? Everybody's single. >> Okay. So it's a gift to say the right thing at the right time to the right people. I think one of the biggest challenges in uh in this generation for your age group is to be spiritually patient in a generation of instant gratification. It it's it's tough. It wasn't like this. It wasn't like this 10 years ago or 20 years ago or 30 years ago. So in a day and age where everything is at your fingertips and when you are so accustomed to getting everything that you want or most of it in a snap of of a finger and then when it comes to your zuk it just crawls everything is slow everything is foggy you can't you it just feels like so distant even non-existent it's tough and it becomes a little bit of a scary situation like a catch 22 because you start to doubt doubt yourself, you start to doubt God and you start to doubt the whole process and you start to make mistakes. So I wanted to break it down for you. I wanted to teach you the mechan the the mechanism of a zeug but through the lens of the Torah through the lens of Rabbi Zamai says you have to live with the time and many explanations have been given meaning live with the shàu if you live with the para shava you'll see that all the answers for the speaker there. There's another explanation that says live with the time meaning be the be a person who has their finger on the pulse in the generation that you live in. Another explanation of is that you sometimes have to go wide angle. You have to open up and say, "Hey, what's going on here today? What is it? Oh, it's Adar. Oh, it's Nissan. Roes is coming. PES is coming. The Torah is talking about you know there's there's a holiday coming. There's all this like all this noise going around and you don't know. It's like it's a code and you have to decipher it. You have to unlock the puzzle. So you always have to pay attention to the messages. You have to have your spiritual antenna has to be up so you can pick up the spiritual messages that are given to us monthly, weekly, daily, every single moment. It all depends if you're spiritually aware of it. We just read there's a puk over there that says our sages tell us it says that and these days are mentioned and they are they they loop they come back around. So there's a big question with meat. What do you mean these days come back around? From here teach us that there's spiritual energies that are embedded into the year and when they come back around get plugged in. In other words, you might look at time as a timeline. Year 1, year 100, year 1,000, you're 5,000, you're 5,786. Like you know, like the years come, they go, they come and they go. But in reality, in Judaism, we're living a cyclical year. It's one year that keeps looping. Every year it's 365 days that are constantly looping, constantly looping. But throughout history, certain things happen on certain days. And when those days come back around, the spiritual energy of that event becomes available to us. I'll give you an example. In the time of the sin of the golden calf, what happened? Moshe Benu went up to the heavens three times. And the the he came back down on the on the last day of uh of the last 40th days that he went into the Shamim. It happened to be Yom Kipur. Yum Kipur is the day that Moshe Benu came down from the heavens. And Hashem says, "I forgive you." Since that day is embedded, the the the the spiritual energy of forgiveness is embedded in that day. What do we do every yamipur? We check ourselves into a into a shul. We bang on our chest and we say the day of atonement. It became the day of atonement. Why? That's the spiritual energy that's charged into that day. So, we tap into it. But there are many many more days like that in the calendar year. And when they come back around, if you know what to do, you can get plugged in and you can draw the spiritual energy into your life. We're about to enter Nissan. The story of the Exodus is all around us. Anybody who goes to shul, anybody who reads, anybody who's getting ready for for pes, anybody who knows the it's all about the exodus, the exodus and the spiritual energy of the month of Nissan and the spiritual energy that's right now surrounding us because it was this this is the energy that was that was in the world before for redemption, for salvation, for freedom. is looping back around specifically specifically is PES that's when the Jewish people left Egypt and 7 days after that that's the splitting of the sie that's what's coming freedom is coming what does that mean to you if you still processing the story of as a children's story that everybody knows what happened to Moshe so on so forth. It's not as an adult, you must have an adult understanding of what this means to us. Yes, you know the background of the story, but when you start to become 20 and 30 and 40, your understanding of the Torah has to mature. So when this time comes around of the the night, the month of Nissan, that means that you can get out of your personal. Everybody has a mit. Everybody has some sort of struggle that they're fight that they're they're challenged with. Some people have have health issues. Some people have financial problems. Some people are looking for a zeug. And that's your mit. That's your challenge. And you want freedom. You want to break away from this. You want to find your zeug. As a matter of fact, the splitting of the sea, the exodus, everything that you uh that we say in the hagada is connected to the zeuim. As a matter of fact, it says in on the second page on the first side, it is difficult for a person to find their soulmate like the splitting of the sea. I am sure as single people you've heard this a hundred times. I'm sure you've heard this a hundred times. But there will be a kdush tonight. You will hear something different tonight. What does that mean? That your zoo here is so difficult for Hashem. It's like splitting the sea. You know what splitting the sea is? It's taking two bodies of water, separating them, and now taking that drop of water that's half here and half here and put it back together. It's not humanly possible. Only God can do that. And that's how difficult it is for him for Hashem to find your wife. That's how difficult it is for Hashem for him to find your soulmate. It's very difficult. Why? Why is it so difficult to find a wife? Why is it so difficult to find a husband? It's as difficult as putting two drops of water together. But surely Hashem is the almighty. He can do anything. Let's try to imagine the mechanism of a Thank you. Reveals to us something that's very hard to understand. It says leon 40 days before the a person is is conceived or comes to life. It's announced in the heavens that plon melon that guy over there is for bat plon blon is for that lady over there. So that's it. They were found. What's the problem? Before they even came into this world, they're a match made in heaven. What's the problem? The problem is Rashi tells us on the spot, in the heavens, you were one, but you come down. Well, let's put it that you were one. Now you have to be split in half. One half comes down to Miami, Florida. The other one is in Brooklyn, New York. And the journey begins. As a matter of fact, Midash tells us that it gets even harder. Why? Because in order for those two soulmates, that perfect match in the heaven to be a perfect match below, certain things have to line up. You were perfect up in the shaman, but once you came down, three things started to affect your your your ability to match again. Your actions, your free choice, and to take the the spiritual level that you're on. In other words, your actions, your choices, and your level of spirituality fluctuates like the stock market. And now you're high and she's low and vice versa. He's in Bora Parkingging away in a yeshiva. She's on a rooftop in uh in Bickl. They're not a good match. Or vice versa, right? She's at Sadek. She's in Bakov. She's like saying to Haleim every day the full book waiting for you to come and the guy's in space on Sundays. [laughter] You no longer match. You no longer match. So what happens? What happens when you're high and she's low? Vice versa, that perfect soulmate is no longer perfect. So what do you do? What do you do? Do you wait for Mr. Right or you go for Mr. Right now? What do you do? Do you go for the one who's going to be super perfect or for the one that's in front of me right now? Let's deal with that. Let's deal with that concept of waiting for the perfect one or the one that's right in front of me now. How do you deal with that? As a matter of fact, you should understand a clal a rule. You get what you deserve. Or as we tell the children, you get what you get and you don't get upset. When you go out into the world and you're meeting people and all of a sudden the guy says, "Ah, I can't find nobody. I the market is dry. There's nobody. No, I can't find anyone." Okay, that's the level you're on. You don't like the level you're on, upgrade yourself. Upgrade yourself. You'll get a better zoo. You'll get better choices. But if you don't want to upgrade yourself, then you have to lower your standards. You might think that what I just said is negative. That lowering your standards is negative. It absolutely is not. Okay? Because put it this way. Our sages teach us that a person has to be realistic. Meaning when you're constantly constantly finding no one, right? So you have to ask yourself, I must be attracting the wrong person, but I want that guy. Okay, upgrade yourself. Upgrade yourself with your spirituality, with your with your with your Torah learning, with your prayer. Upgrade yourself. You'll get the better zoo. If you don't upgrade yourself, then there's somebody that's on your level. Face it. This is what you deserve. Now, if you're waiting a very long time, you might want to take up that option. If you're a spring chicken and you still want to play around for three, four, five years until Mr. Right comes right. Fine. Each one and their choices. However, however, when you go for Mr. Right, you know what happens? Time passes. Time passes. Sins. You start to sin. And you know what happened? You become picky and then you know what happened? You get deserted on an island, a different island. the aisle of now I'm 30, now I'm 40, now I'm single, now I'm uh after five relationships, you you start to pick up all these tags on you. Hazal revealed to us in on the 49th page that a person should sell all of his money, meaning give everything that you have and marry the daughter of a righteous uh individual of a of a Torah scholar. In other words, what? Look for a girl that has good Torah lifestyle that she was raised in a home and she has good midot. She comes from a a kosher home, a religious home and and give all your money to find that girl. And if you don't find that girl, look what the GMAT tells us. Go lower. And if you don't do that, then find the daughter of the spiritual giants of the of the generation. Okay. And if I don't find that, go lower. If not, marry from some of the guys from the shul. And if you don't find, go lower. Give it to the gab. The gabay has daughters. Marry his daughter. And if you don't find, go lower. No, I think that's it. Maybe the janitor was next. I don't know. You should always always have this threepoint checklist when you're dating. Number one, does she have Hashem in her life? Number two, will she be a good mother? Number three, will she be a good wife? That's the checklist. Does he have Hashem in his life? Will he be a good father? Will he be a good husband? Notice you put yourself last. You put yourself last. You know why? Because it's very important that a person has in the bare minimum God in their life. It's very very difficult to be in a home where somebody does not have Hashem in his life. If the guy's I don't know half atheist half question mark and you're there lighting candles you're doing it's not going to work. Does he pray? Does he learn? Who's his rabbi? He eats kosher. He keeps Shabbat. Where's he at? Where is he holding? Does he have Hashem in his life? Is she does she keep Shabbat? Is she, you know, on the, you know, where are you? Does she have Hashem? That's step number one. Step number two, stop thinking about yourself. That's why you're not married. You're always concerned about yourself. What about the kids? One year from now, there's kids. Who's going to take care of the kids? Will he be a good father? Yeah, I can see him. I can see him holding the kids. I can see him babysitting. I can see him helping me out. I can see him, you know, being a role model for the children. I can see him teaching the children modin alf bet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can see him as a father. How about her? You see her having the ability to raise children or is she running to the mall to do the nails or is she will she be a good mother? Does she have the patience? Does she have the desire? You know, does is does she is she connected to her womanhood and to familyhood or is she still a little girl that needs to grow up? Once you know that you have Hashem in your life and once you know that they'll be good mothers and fathers now you can say will they be a good will he be a good husband by not being selfish by thinking about the right things you can check those boxes on Mr. right now and feel safe and feel good and know that you're making the right decision. Schlam Melik the smartest man to ever live writes in the famous song of beauty and charm fade. Beauty fades. [clears throat] Not only does it fade, it really has not a lot of substance when you go into the deeper waters of marriage. It's great. The attraction must be there. I'm not going to take that away from you guys. You have to have an attraction. If you still I if you are still not tuned to the inner beauty because it's the inner beauty that lasts. It's the inner beauty that comes out. It's that inner beauty that eventually is what's going to keep the marriage together. When she's kind and she's nice and she's pleasant. When he's respectful and he's nice and he and and he supports and he and he cares. When the when the beauty fades but the midot is still in in place. The inner beauty is what you're looking for. I have a small story. I hope I can say it appro, you know, appropriately. I have a friend of mine from New York. This story is about 20 years old. And let's just say he was the popular friend. He had all the money, he had all the cars, and he had all the pretty girls. And he kept that lifestyle. And little by little, all his friends started to get married one after the other, one after the other, until he was standing all alone at the club with a with a drink and looking for the next Miss Universe. So what happens now? All his friends are inviting him over for Shabbat. So he's going to Shabbat dinners one after the other, one after the other, one after the other. One week he comes back and he reports to me. He says, "I want to tell you something. I was at my friend's house last night for Shabbat and his wife and and and don't take this the wrong way. I'm not looking. He says his wife was a certain size and a certain width. And if you had to give her a number from 1 to 10, she's a six. And this guy's used to tens and 11s and twelves. But you know what he said? He said, "We when we when they were sitting down for dinner, the way she talked, the way she acted, the way that she behaved, she all of a sudden became a nine. He's like, I couldn't believe that the one that what looked like that for me in the beginning was something that I wouldn't uh entertain, but her inner beauty came out and all of a sudden she was like the most amazing woman in the world. I go to him, okay, so what are you going to do with that? You're going to start going for sixes. You're going to get married. Unfortunately, even though there was a nice lesson from a but he didn't take it. I think he's still single. He might be 60 on the standing in the bars now. Who knows? Nevertheless, it was a true example that the inner beauty shines through. It's the inner beauty you want to look for both in man and woman. I want to continue with the theme of the splitting of the sea. This miraculous event that is connected to a person's zoo says that was in a shape of a rainbow like a U-turn. The sea didn't split and they walked all the way to China. What happened? The sea split and they made like a getaway like you know they made a U-turn the sea closed on the Egyptians and they left. So he says something incredible. He says if you look at the shape of a of a rainbow the inner arch is smaller than the outer arch. And he says that that is connected to zuim is that for certain people the difficulty of finding a zoo is sometimes a short journey and for some it's a longer journey but you have to go through it. Everybody has a mit to find their zeug. Now, like we said, to find a zeu in a generation that's used to instant gratification, the poisonous social media, internet, Hollywood, music, wherever you turn, it's all garbage. It's poison for a Jewish soul. And it's difficult because your values get tainted by being exposed to gentile societies. When you go on Instagram, when you go on social media and you see how the other half lives for eight hours a day, you're reprogramming your mind. So when Yseph or Moshe or Raal or Rifka comes out, yeah, they can't compare to that screen, to the fake, to the lies. social media or the entire uh you know the the the the entire uh gentile uh being exposed to the gentile ideologies and societies is literally ruining your chances of liking another Jew. It's a real thing. It's a real thing because as soon as you go out with somebody who might be good enough or or or somebody you're excited about, you go look at two hours or 3 hours on your phone at somebody that that is not even real. It's not even real. And it talks you out of that perfect girl that's in front of you. So, it's difficult. social media, internet, music, everything that you see every time that you're reprogramming your mind with all the foreign ideologies, it makes it harder for you to find Mr. Right and Mr. and Mrs. Right. When [clears throat] you're looking for a good Jewish girl or a good Jewish man, you have to turn off the noise. You have to be focused. Turn it off. What are you looking for? How much entertainment do you need anyways? How much? How much? 15 minutes, half hour, an hour of entertainment. What are you doing with the rest? Go win life. Go find your life partner. Go pray on it. Start to draw it into your life. Be a magnet to your soulmate. Every time you open up that screen, that soulmate becomes farther and farther and farther away. every minute farther and farther away because any kadusha any any kadusha of two souls that were in the heaven that are coming to meet together is right now the seesaw that's why Hashem is so busy cuz every two seconds it's another reel it's another screen further closer further closer further you can't three steps forward two steps back and everybody's like scratching their head why can't I find why can't I find you're a product of your choices the choices that you make create the reality that you live in. I want to share a spiritual secret with you. Some of you might know this, some of you might not, but it's great to know cuz it's a real thing. It's happening right now. We've just entered a spiritual envelope of time that is to our advantage. It's a time period in the year where the Jews have a special luck. It started at Tishvat. It continues to Adar and it continues all the way to the month of Sivan. As a matter of fact, this spiritual envelope of time, we have the upper hand. We have an advantage. We have extra good luck. As a matter of fact, the month that we're in right now, the says that we have this month is that the luck is healthy and strong for so much that they prompt us to go to court uh with a gentile during this month. >> Yeah. Few days left. If anybody has a lawsuit, that's how powerful this month is. They say that this month, plant seeds. Plant seeds in the month of Adar. Why? You want to open up a business, send an email, make a phone call. Uh you want to you want to meet somebody. You want anything that you want to do, plant the seeds in the month of Adar. Why? The the the the luck of the Jewish people is healthy in the month of Adar. That's right now. That's that's what's you know enveloping us right now. Nissan, the month that's upon us in about a week from now. What is it? It's the month of it's open miracles. Open miracles by way of nature, >> guys. Open miracles by way of nature. Open miracles. Just like the Jews experience miracles in in Egypt with the ten makot with the splitting of the sea, you too can experience a miracle in your life. It's the month of the splitting of the sea. And just like Hashem split the sea and put it back together, taking those two drops of water and putting them back together only the the way that only Hashem knows how to do you too. You're dropping and the other drop this month spiritual energy for that to happen. Then we go into the month of er sorry pes a mega spiritual event the mima the the eighth day of pes so many things going on shoots us into is a month of healing both physical and spiritual whatever you're struggling with you can what one day of work in I is is equivalent to two to three weeks on a regular year one day equivalent to two to three weeks worth of work and that's spiritual healing and physical healing. Then we go from we go to which is what is matan which is also the wedding of the Jewish people and that's our wedding day. It's three four months where our luck is turning up where this is where you play offense. There's months where you play defense. This is the months where you play offense. This is the time that you push forward. This is the time where you where when it comes to zuim this is time to go out there to meet to be proactive get a khan get somebody that can help you out get into a situation where right now you're being very proactive about finding your soulmate pray more have more kavana clear up your energy drop the green and get and get ready to get married. That's what people do during this month. There's some people that in the month of onim get dressed as what they imagine themselves to be. It's a spiritual prime time as well. The is not let me dress up like a minion or you know Paw Patrol with the kids. No, it's who do you want to be? There's women that dress up as a bride. Why? In order to manifest her wedding day this year. There's men that dress up in tuxedos ready to do what? To walk down the aisle. Manifesting it. The spiritual energy of purim tan. It's time to be proactive, but it's time to be genuine with yourself as well. If there's a certain type that's not reachable, pray and upgrade. Put in the work. However, if it's been too long, try a different pool. Go low. Eventually, you'll go high. Have your priorities in check. Does he have Hashem in his life? Is he going to be a good father? Is he going to be a good husband? Do you want a trophy wife or trophy life? Get help. Get shat khanim. I want to tell you something. Couple of funny shate stories. I have a friend of mine. He was so good. He was so ripe. He was so ready for marriage and he got into this window of like 3 years of nothing happening. [clears throat] And he had a shatanit. His shatanit offered him the same many girls but one girl she offered him five times and five times he rejected her. You know why? Cuz he was sphartic and she was Ashkenazi and he was and she was a redhead. That was like a no. Okay. Like no no no no gingi. That was her like non-negotiable. His non-negotiable. So throughout the years some of their mutual friends that also use the same khan start to get married start to get married and they would keep seeing them they would keep seeing themselves in the in the catering halls they would see them by the tables they'll sit by the bar all these things and they never like talk he knew it was that girl that the offered and I don't want her cuz she's a redhead one time they happened to sit next to each other in the and they started to talk and wouldn't you know it he could care less about the color of her hair. He fell in love with her on the first moment that he met her and they ended up getting married. They have three kids right now and when you ask him what when you when he tells the story he says I was so stupid. I could have been married three years before that. He says I I got I was in my own way. Why what was I holding on to? And as a matter of fact, he reviewed his uh his sheet of non-negotiables. He says, "Wow, I'm so immature." He says, "I'm so stupid. Look what I look what pushed me away from a family for so long and the way that I was feeling." He said, "You know what he says? Unbelievable." He said, "I should have said yes to life. I should have just went. I should have just met [clears throat] as if I understand everything." You never know. You never know. As a matter of fact, I have another story. I have a friend of mine that got set up on a date also by Khanit and as soon as he saw her he's like nah nah right >> but he was a classy gentleman and he said look she's here I'm here I'm not going to embarrass her I'm at least going to sit through dinner and after dinner I'm going to tell her you're not my type cuz right now you're not my type and that's what he was saying to his head. So they're sitting down and the whole time he's just counting the minutes of when he's going to leave and you know what happened in the middle of dinner? She smiled and for some reason he loved her smile. Fast forward, they're married, four kids today. Happiest man in the world. Happiest man in the world. He's on the date. He's saying I'm not going to be end of the date. I'm I'm letting her go. A smile changed everything around. You think you're so smart. You think you know everything. You're smarter than Hashem. Say yes to life. That person that you're cancelelling out right now might be the most amazing person in your life for the next 100 years. I want to conclude [snorts] with some call to action. I just want to bring your attention to a few things that are coming up so you can take advantage of it because you have to imagine yourself you're in a bubble in a good bubble good spiritual bubble that our luck is strong that we're we're we have the we have the abilities to draw miracles into our lives. What's miracles? Basically things that are stuck that all of a sudden come through all of a sudden the shidim the deals the all the things that are stuck stuck they're not going all of a sudden comes through you know sometimes when somebody waits for a deal to close and it closes so wow it's a miracle the guy called me out of nowhere gave me the card and I ran it through and now you know I made a huge commission sometimes it's also like that like w I'm two years I'm waiting to meet somebody all of a sudden I bumped into a friend you know because you have to understand what does hashem need to do like we said the guy's in Bora park she's in Miami He has to create what? That her friend from childhood is getting married in Miami and she's doing it at Russian Kabad and he happens to be in town and he bumped his friend in Kosha central. He tells him I'm getting income and then all of a sudden comes out and they go both go, "Can I have a salt at the bar?" Oh. And they look at each other. Oh. All of a sudden, love at first sight. Logistics and spirituality. Could you imagine what Hashem needs to do? Nevertheless, I want to give you a few moments I want to bring to your attention for things you should do where you're at in your life right now. Being single and looking for your soulmate. [sighs] Tip number one, pray for it. Nothing comes down to this world without prayer. Know this, if you're not praying for it, it's not coming. If you're not literally taking your mouth and saying, "Hashem, I want to get married and I want him to be and you have to pray in detail." It's not like, "Hashem, hook me up. Give me like the best girl for me." No, you can't. You can't. It doesn't work like that. There's a story in the gim of a guy was walking in the desert and he's like, "Oh my god, I wish I had a donkey." And all of a sudden, he looks in the distance, he sees one, a little baby donkey. He's like, "Oh my God, I can't ride him, but I also can't leave him." You know what he did? He had to take the donkey, put him on his shoulders, and walk in the desert and take him into the city. He should have prayed for what? Hashem, give me a big donkey that's strong that I could sit on top of him, and he'll take me for two days up until the city. I have to pray in detail. In detail, detail that he should. And you know what? It's okay. This is where the wish list comes. Hashem, you know, I'm shooting for the stars. I want him to look like this, be like this, act like this, whatever. All the things, pray for it. Deposit a prayer without nothing comes down to this world. I strongly recommend after that prayer, you get a get help. They know what they're doing. They look for the pros and cons. They look for the commonality. And typically they do the dirty work and they are able to match. Let's just say not 100% of the time, but you know what? Even if they're uh you know, even if the statistics is 50% of the time she's successful, that means that you have a one out of two chance to meet your soulmate through a shat. Get help. It's very difficult to find them in events. It's very difficult to find them in in Shul because it's the same people. You have to wait till like new people come, people that visit, right? You sort of like exhaust some of the channels that you go to to meet people. So when you've hit a wall, ask for help. Get a khan. Even though it's good to attend events, this one's phenomenal. I mean, I think we could do like maybe like 50 weddings right here right now. You know, I I I believe it's Rabbi Steinman before he passed away. They asked him, they asked him, "Rabbi, why is it so difficult for people to get married nowadays?" You know what he said? "I don't know." He says, "I don't know." He says, "I know that you could take two random Jews off the street, put them in a house, and tell them, "Follow this book. They'll be the happiest people in the world." We don't have that mentality, but it's possible. The the the Torah gives you such good midot that the other person on the other side of you is a person that cares for you, loves for you, wants to protect you, wants to be with you, wants to grow with you. That's what the Torah Torah values bring to a relationship. The the beauty dissipates. It's the inner beauty you want to look for. So when you are out there and you're meeting people, be open. Be open. Might be a smile that catches your eye and that's it. It's all done. There's a special night coming up. Two special nights. One is the sed knight and the other one is it says in the there's a part over there it says who heard the yell the scream the the roar of their pain in Egypt and what did he do? He answered them. He answered them. He saved them. When you get to this part of the when it says stop you're right now in front of the there's no holier place than the setter table right now and deposit a prayer me from the depth of your heart about your zoo because the same way Hashem heard the cry of the Jewish slaves in Egypt he will hear your cry on the Saturday night as well at that v at that same spot. activate that also is the splitting of the sea. On the seventh day of pes is when the sea split two drops separated but also got back together. So on the seventh day of pes make sure that you're focused. Make sure that you have a prayer ready. Make sure you go to a place like a shul. Make sure you put your head somewhere in here and and have a conversation with God. find a place to to to come and deposit a heartfelt prayer about you wanting to find your soulmate. The eighth day of Pesak is very special in Moroccans homes. We have the mimuna. For some of you that don't know, the mima is just another word for amuna. Because if you don't know the secret to the mima, the secret is that mashia is supposed to come and here comes comes comes dial. We're already almost 20 days into Nissan and Mashiah is not here. So what do we say? That's okay. We have faith in God. We have inad that is going to carry us for the entire year and until Mashiach comes today, tomorrow, next year, whenever we have faith, get connected to that party. Get connected to that night. You know why? Because for you to be successful in this world, not just for zuim, you have to have faith. You have to have amuna. Without amuna, it's very difficult to go through life. You have to teach yourself how to have faith in God in all things, especially in a zoo. Since it's the subject of tonight, I do recommend for the prolevel uh people that are in the room to get plugged into the omare. It's a tremendous spiritual work that you get a spiritual upgrade and you get a and that spiritual upgrade might give you the that higher zoo that you're looking for the better quality zuk that you're going for. So if that's what you want, if you want to go for Mr. Right and not Mr. Right now, then put in the work during the omare and get there and hashem will reveal to you maybe better candidates. The omare is is is a phenomenal time to work on yourself. And of course the journey will eventually end and this pocket of time will close up and then we get into the times where we need to play defense where the months are dark like the month of Tamuz and the month of Av and then we start to get we start to shoot towards the end of the year the month of where we have to start doing our teshu. So during this time period, one of the final checkpoints that you should be aware of is the wedding, the ultimate wedding, the wedding between that's and don't be shy to say, Hashem, just like you find, just like you find is the zoo to the Shabbat to the Torah the the nation that is is the the [clears throat] me too. Me too. I also want a husband. I also want a wife. Please, good day to deposit a prayer. So, we hear and if any of these things that I shared with you tonight worked, please invite me to the wedding. [applause] >> [applause]