Why Judaism Without Self-Awareness Does Not Work - Parshas Korach - Rabbi YY Jacobson

The Yeshiva.net Today's class is dedicated by Federico Sal in honor of a refuah shleimah, complete and speedy recovery for Paddy ben Linda. Amen. A complete and speedy recovery and many long, happy, healthy years. And thank you very, very much. There's a fascinating juxtaposition, which means connection in the Torah between Parshas Shlach followed by Parshas Korach, last week's portion and this week's portion. The primary story of Parshas Shlach, everybody knows, is the story of the Meraglim, the story of the spies. Moshe sent 12 people, spies, to scout the land to go bring back a report of the nature and the fabric of the Holy Land. They come back and they demoralize and dissuade the entire nation from entering into the Promised Land. There is mass panic and hysteria. The nation is overtaken by fear. They sob all night and they cry, "Why did we leave Egypt? Why can't let's just go back to Egypt?" They cry how all their wives and children are going to die by the sword when they try to enter into the land. And that's followed by the decree, indeed, to remain in the desert. That generation would remain in the desert for 40 years and their children, the youngsters, would go into the land. That's the primary story that occupies much of Parshas Shlach. The next parsha, Parshas Korach, continues with another fascinating story and another tragic mutiny. And this is the mutiny, the rebellion of Korach. It opens up with the story how Korach, who was an extremely prominent individual, both in terms of uh lineage, he's a first cousin of Moshe Rabbeinu. Literally, the Torah says, "Vayikach Korach ben Yitzhar ben Kehas ben Levi." Korah is from the Levite tribe. As the Torah says, his father was Yitzhar and his father was Kohath. Moshe Rabbeinu as well, they Moshe and Aaron were first cousins with Korah because the father of course was Levi, the son of Jacob, and Levi had a son Kohath. And Kohath had four sons. Amram Amram and Hebron and Amram and Yitzhar and Hebron and Uzziel. And Korah Moshe and Aaron and Miriam were children of Amram. Amram was their father, and Amram was a son of Kohath, and Kohath was a son of Levi, was a son of Jacob Avinu. And Korah was a first cousin. He was a son of Yitzhar. So, Korah is not just, you know, some anonymous fellow who came out of the shadows suddenly. He's a person who's very well connected both in terms of lineage and as Hazal say, he was also extremely wise and extremely wealthy. He's a very very influential person. And he stages an unexpected mutiny. You wonder where it came from. What's the context? But it's not just himself. He gathers a whole group from the tribe of Reuben, especially Dathan and Abiram, the two brothers, children of Eliab, a man named Ain Ben Peleth. And the Torah says he also gathers 250 leaders, 250 leaders. The Torah calls them the Se Aida. Leaders of the congregation. Kriyey Mo'ed Anshey Shem, men of renown. People who were called to leadership, and they all gather and stage a major rebellion against Moshe's leadership and Aaron's leadership. If we look at the opening of how this rebellion is described, it says and as you see it in your second source sheet, this is Korah 17:3, which is Numbers chapter 16, verse 3. This is the third verse of the parashah after it says that Korah took all these people, "Va'yakhelu al Moshe va'al Aaron." They all congregated, they gathered against Moshe and Aaron. And they say these words to them, to Moshe and Aaron. Too much for you. Too much for you. Too much power. I do it is not so Allah Allah. The whole nation is holy. Beautiful words. The whole nation is Kadoshim. The whole nation is sacred. And Hashem lives among all of them. Why do you exalt yourself? Where did you get this superiority complex, this haughtiness, this arrogance? The sense of audacious aloofness and sublimity to raise yourself to like the word Lisa, right? To lift yourself up on the entire nation, on the entire nation, the entire congregation of Hashem. Very one one one one can see the the power in these words. At the That's what they say. That those are the That's the the sole verse that begins the rebellion. At the surface, what they're saying is where where why these distinctions? You're the leader and Moshe Rabbeinu is the leader, he's the prophet, he's the king. Aaron is the Kohen Gadol, he's the high priest. This exclusivity that you and Aaron have, that Moshe and Aaron have, is senseless. This is the nature of the rebellion. What happens is the first thing Moshe does is he falls on his face. Before saying anything, Moshe falls down on his face. Also very interesting response. And then he speaks to Korach. The next he speaks to Korach, who is the chief the chief rebellion uh the yeah, the the instigator and the one who's representing this rebellion. And he speaks to his whole congregation, meaning all the his entourage. And he says to them, "Boker." This obviously was probably in the afternoon or late in the afternoon. "Boker, tomorrow morning, in the morning, the Hashem Allah. God will let us know who belongs to him. V'isha Kodesh V'yikarev eilav. The one who is Kodesh, the one who he designated to be holy, he will bring close to him. V'isha Shayif Khavaya K'reiv eilav. The one who he chose or he will choose, he'll also bring close to him. And that's when Moshe offers them the famous experiment with the K'tores that everybody who wants could bring incense tomorrow, one of the most sacred services in the in the sanctuary, in the Mishkan and later in the Beis Hamikdash, which was done every single morning and afternoon, was the burning of the incense. They had 11 different spices, herbs, that were burnt on a daily basis early in the morning in the Mishkan and in the Beis Hamikdash, which created an incredible aroma, both a physical aroma and obviously also a spiritual aroma by these 11 herbs that we the morning of davening we recount what these seven 11 herbs are every morning, tsori, tziporen. They were ground to powder and then when they were ignited with coals in on the altar in the Mishkan and the Beis Hamikdash, it generated an extraordinary extraordinary fragrance. When Chazal say in Yerushalayim you didn't have to use perfume because of the the smell of the K'tores. That's how powerful it was. And it was also a unique chemistry. There were experts who made the K'tores. So Moshe Rabbeinu offers them all to do this service which was reserved only for Kohanim. Not everybody was allowed to do it. Only Kohanim would do it. Only a Kohen was allowed to do it inside the sanctuary every single morning and afternoon. And Moshe Rabbeinu offers all of them to do it the next morning. All these 250 all these 150 rebels. That's That's how Moshe responds. In the morning God will tell us the truth. They were Leviim. That's why they weren't allowed to do it. Yeah, that's why he offered it to them. Then he says something else to them. It's very interesting how it's built. Pasuk Chaf Vayomer Moshe el Korach. Let me now say something else to Korach and his group. He says, "Shim'u Bnei Levi. Children of Levi, they're all children of Levi. Moshe is also a child of Levi. Remember, they're all descendants from the one tribe of Levi. He says, "Shimon no bene Levi." And he "I don't understand you. Is it not enough Hashem has already segregated you? He has already designated you from everybody else to bring you close. You are the ones who do the service in the Mishkan. You are the ones who stand before the entire nation to serve them as representatives in the sanctuary. You all have become close. All the children of Levi you had a special job constantly in the Mishkan. There were different jobs that Kohanim did and Leviim did. Now, why do you ask for Kohuna, too? Like you already have a tremendous position." "You should know that all of you are not fighting against Aaron. This is a war against God. But Aaron Mahu, like what is Aaron? Cuz you're no love. You're rebelling against him. You have to know who Aaron is. Aaron is not a power monger. He's not a He's not a dictator. He's not a tyrant. You're attacking the wrong person. Aaron did not choose himself. Aaron is not interested in power of anybody. He's like, "I know Aaron, you know, he's my bro- He's my older brother. I grew up with him." I mean, he doesn't say those words, but obviously he knew Aaron quite well. Your your address is the wrong address. That's what Moshe Rabbenu says to them. At this point, Moshe decides to seek maybe peace with the other group, Dathan and Abiram. So, the next pasuk is Vayishlach Moshe likro el Dathan v'Aviram bnei Levi emor leimor. He calls, he sends a message to Dathan and Abiram, "Let's talk." "Let's talk." They say, "We're not coming up to you. We will not come." And then they say something. Ham'at ki halitaneinu me'eretz zavat chalav u'dvash ki im ba'midbar hemitanu ki tisharer aleinu gam historer. "It's not enough that you took us away, you you brought us up from Egypt." Egypt, they say, is a land that was flowing with milk and honey. They forgot about the other parts of Egypt. But Egypt, as far as they're concerned, was a land flowing with milk and honey. And what did you do? You brought us to kill us in the desert. Now you want to rule over us? In other words, you already ruined our life once. Now you're going to take ownership, too? You're going to become the leaders, too? You couldn't even bring us to the land that you promised, a land of milk and honey, and give us at least a portion, an inheritance with a field, with a vineyard. We have nothing. All your promises were futile. You took us out of one country which flowed with milk and honey. You promised another country, and you couldn't even deliver. All you can do is kill us here, have us all die in the desert. Even if you want to blind us, you want to very sharp words, you want to poke out our eyes, which is, of course, also a metaphor, perhaps. You know, you want to block our vision. You want to make us blind. You want to make make believe we don't see reality. We're not coming up to you. And this is basically how the rebellion is staged. Moshe still attempts a few times to speak, to to make peace, to create an understanding, but it's all it's all futile. Now, here is a very fascinating thing. And that is when did this mutiny happen? When did it happen? The Torah doesn't give a date. Some events are there with a date. This doesn't have a date. It just says Korach Korach did this. It could have happened, as far as we're concerned, at any point in history of the desert, of the Jewish people in the desert. But the juxtaposition in Chumash is very interesting. It's right after Parshas Shlach. It's right after Parshas Shlach. And that's why Chazal say that it happened one after the other. Meaning, the story of Korach happened right after the story with the spies. This is your first source, Seder Olam Rabbah. Perek Seder Olam Rabbah is a fascinating safer which chronicles the early history of the Jewish people. And chapter eight, and this is quoted in Rashbam and Tosafos Bava Basra kuf yud tes, the daf yomi, and those of your family who learn daf yomi, they just started this tractate Bava Basra 119, Acha Meraglim Hoyisa Machlokes Shel Korach U'vliaso. The fight, the dispute, the machlokes of Korach happened after the story of the spies. That's where the machlokes was in the swallowing up of Korach. She Nemar, proof is Dasan and Aviram told Moshe Rabbenu, "Af Lo Eretz Zavas Chalav U'dvash. Have you I say no? You couldn't even bring us to a land of milk and honey." In other words, you failed us. That must have happened after the story of the spies. Before the story of the spies, they didn't know that they're going to stay in the desert. They couldn't say, "You didn't deliver. We're on the way." Right? So, even though you would think it could have happened earlier because Moshe Rabbenu was already a big leader from when they went out of Egypt, that Aaron was appointed a Kohen Gadol much before the spies. Nonetheless, they're complaining that you did not deliver your promise. Obviously, this happens after the story of the Meraglim when there was this decree that the Jewish people are going to remain in the desert and Dasan and Aviram realized they're not going in. They're staying here. So, now they tell Moshe, "You took us out of one country, you can't bring us into another country. All you did was have us die in the desert. Now, you're not going to rule us and even if you poke at our eyes, we will not come to you. We will not approach you. We don't want to see you." The question that we have to ask is, what happened after the story of the Meraglim? Why did this mutiny happen right then? What was it about this story that created this type of rebellion against Moshe and against Aaron? Obviously, it's clear as Chazal say, one happens after the other. So, there's something about the story of the spies that triggered this rebellion. Again, if it was just about the leadership of Moshe and Aaron, that could have been anytime and it could have happened much earlier. Remember that the spies were sent a full year after the Exodus of Egypt and a few months. Because they left Mitzrayim on Pesach. A year later, the Mishkan was built and a few months later on the end of Sivan, the 29th of Sivan, the Meraglim left. They came back 40 days later. And in the month of Elul, so this is almost a year and a half after Yetziat Mitzrayim. After all that, the rebellion happens. So, there's obviously some very profound connection between what happened by the Meraglim and the mutiny of Korach. The Torah doesn't say clearly, but we have to pick up the clues. What is it about the story of the spies that triggered this type of rebellion of Korach? Names in Chumash are very interesting. Names in Chumash are extremely interesting. The name of Korach is also a very interesting name. And we discussed this also last year in the class of Korach in another context. Korach is made up of three letters, kuf, resh, and ches. Kuf, resh, and ches is the word kereach. What does that mean? It turns out that there's a meaning in that word, huh? Ice, scalp. Korach is ice, yeah, that's true. Korach is ice. Bald. We have it one more place in Chumash. And a very interesting thing, it turns out that this was an ancient pagan practice during the times of the Torah, when the Torah was written, an ancient practice of the Amorites, which were one of the tribes in the land of Canaan. And it was a way of expressing grief. Korah actually means a bald spot. And this was a practice by some pagans where they would intentionally tear out hair of their head in order to create intentionally and deliberately a bald spot as a sign of mourning, sadness, anxiety, and grief. So this was an intentional practice and it represented the deep sadness or pain or suffering that they were experiencing. Where does the word Korah come up again in Chumash? In the next next in the next book, Sefer Devarim. If you'll take a look in the third to the last source on your source sheet, Parshas Re'eh perek Yud Daled. That's Deuteronomy Devarim chapter 14. Banim Atem LaShem Elokecha. Moshe says to the Jews, you are children of Hashem. Lo Sis Godedu. Lo Sis Godedu means don't scrape off your skin. Don't tear off your epidermis, your your your skin from your body when you're grieving. Velo Sasimmu Korcha Beneichem Lameis. When someone when there's loss, when someone dies, chalilah, don't create a bald spot anywhere between your eyes, which refers both between the eyes or the eyebrows or the head, etc. Why? Ki Am Kadosh Ata LaShem Elokecha. You're a holy nation to Hashem U'Vachar Bach La'am Segulah Mikol Ha'amim Asher Al Pnei Ha'adamah. He chose you to be a treasured people from all the nations that are on the earth. This is the reason why you shouldn't follow this practice of Lo Sasimmu Korcha Beneichem Lameis. You're children. Now you might say, what in the world is the connection between Korah and Korcha? I mean, it happens to be, you know, by mazel that But has a name that also has another Hebrew Hebrew word or Hebrew connotation. But in in Russian Kodesh in the holy tongue and in Torah everything is meticulous and precise. Somehow this is connected to Korach as we will see. My dear colleague Rabbi David Foreman pointed this out and he said it in fact if you look even deeper into the pasukim you see that there's more than one one similarity. Very good. Yeah. You see how he starts off don't make a bald spot and he gives a reason ki am kodesh atah laHashem Elokecha because you're a holy people. That's the reason. And then he continues u'vacharta Hashem and you were chosen lihyot lo la'am segulah mikol ha'amim asher al pnei ha'adamah to be a treasured nation from all the nations of the world. Now if we take a look at the comparison between this these two pasukim in parshas Re'eh in Devarim and Korach we see what was the first thing Korach and his people said to Moshe and Aaron? Right? Remember that first source. Rav lachem ki kol ha'edah kulam kedoshim. Literally, everybody is holy. You're talking about a holy people. This is not a mundane people. This is not a secular people. This is not just an earthly people an earthly people. This is a holy nation. Kol ha'edah everybody. Not you. You also but everybody. Like Rashi says everybody stood at Har Sinai. Everybody heard God speak. Everybody saw Hashem face to face. Kol ha'edah kulam kedoshim u'vetocham Hashem. Hashem is among them among everybody. U'madua titnase'u al kehal Hashem? Why do you lift yourself over everybody else? Why do you exalt yourself over everybody else? Everybody is holy within Hashem. So Korach is making reference to the holiness of Klal Yisrael. And what does the pasuk do right here? Banim Atem LaShem Elokeichem. It's not talking to Moshe and Aaron. Moshe is telling this to everybody. You're all children. Am Kadosh Ata. Literally, Kol Adei Kulom Kedoshim. Right? He's almost It's not literally verbatim, but almost paraphrasing what he himself heard from Korach 40 years earlier. Everybody is holy. Am Kadosh Ata LaShem Elokeicha. Elokeicha. Everybody. Everybody is holy. That's exactly what he's saying. And right after he talks about Korcha, right after he talks about this bald spot that you shouldn't be making. Ki Am Kadosh Ata LaShem Elokeicha. Now, right after Korach tells Moshe that everybody is holy, he has an argument. Madua Tisnasu Al Kol HaShem? Why do you lift yourself up? Why did you become the chosen ones? WHY ARE YOU HIGHER? IN YIDDISH it's called besser a mensch, you know. In English it's called feinschmeckers. That's an English word, right? Or maybe that's French or Mandarin, I don't know. Where did you become better than everybody else? I don't understand this. Tisnasu. You're not greater than anybody else. So, that's his argument. Everybody is holy. What's Madua Tisnasu Al Kol HaShem? It turns out we have a very similar phrase and concept right here in Devarim. Right after he says, you know, Lo Sa'asimu Korcha. Do not make this bald spot. What happens? Am Kadosh Ata LaShem Elokeicha. And then Uvcha Bachar HaShem Lihiyos Lo La'am Segulah MiKol Ha'Amim Asher Al Pnei Ha'Adamah. HaShem has treasured you from all the nations in the world. So, there is, again, you were selected from the many. He's not Moshe is not saying this as a complaint. He's saying this as a truth. But there is an eerie similarity here in the word Korcha. So, the Torah is really telling us that if you want to understand Korach, if you want to understand more about Korach, you have to understand what this ancient practice of these pagans were. What was it about? And what does Korach have to do with grief or with with bald spots? Last week Last year in our sheer in Korach, which is on the issue of the knot, we spoke about one of the Tana'im, whose name was Rabbi Yehoshua ben Korcha. Rabbi Yehoshua, the son of Korcha. And according to many, this was Rabbi Akiva, who was called Kireach in Talmud. He's called Kireach because of baldness. And the question is, how did that So, we were associating there the word Rabbi Akiva different different angles. It's all ultimately connected. If you look at the arguments of Korach and his people against Moshe and Aaron, you could see three different arguments emerging. Which is usually how fights happen. It starts with one thing, it evolves into something else, it evolves into the third thing. The first thing they say to Moshe and Aaron is everybody is holy. Everybody's holy. We don't need leaders. Why are you better? We don't "Why do you act so nasty?" Everyone is in the same boat. We are all a sacred people. We are all equal. In fact, it sounds like a very idealistic argument. Why is anybody different than anybody else? Why is there this concept called superiority? "Why do you act so nasty?" Why? It sounds very very idealistic because it's really calling for equality, for love, for unity. In our times, a generation ago, one of the most powerful movements that swept the world, including millions and millions of Jews, was this vision of socialism, which morphed into communism. Karl Marx in his manifesto, and he was also Jewish, came from a Sayder was a Rov even, and then they were baptized. And Karl Marx envisioned this idea of socialism, which ultimately morphed into the communism that overtook the Soviet Union and millions of people including Jews were intoxicated by that vision. Kol ha'eda kulam kedoshim, right? Everybody is equal. Moshe falls on his face. The first thing Moshe says, "In the morning God will know let us know the truth." That's the first thing he says. Do the ketores. But then Moshe says something else. He says, "I don't understand. You already have amazing positions. You're all Levites. You're all serving in the Mishkan. Why you looking for kehuna, too?" One second, that's not what Korach said. Korach said Korach didn't say I want to be a priest. He didn't say I want to be the kohen gadol. What did he say? He said, "I don't want any leaders." He didn't say I want Moshe is responding. The retort of Moshe seems out of sync. Korach didn't say, "I want to be the leader. I want to be a kohen. I want the position. We want to be kohanim." So Moshe is like, "You guys have an amazing job. You have an amazing mission." Ask them, "Come on, what do you want from kehuna? What do you want kehuna?" He never said that. Obviously, Moshe identified in Korach a deeper another level of the argument, you know, maybe another level of consciousness. On the first level he was saying, "Nobody has any power. Everybody's equal. I don't want any leaders." But if we can quote uh uh George Orwell in Animal Farm in the vision of communism, right? Everybody is equal. But some people are more equal than others. So the way to gain power is by saying everybody is equal. When everybody is equal, nobody has power besides the one who's screaming and responsible and ensuring that everybody is equal. So there is really a motivation for power. On one level I may be screaming, "I just want everybody to be equal." But it's really my own demons or my own ego or my own narcissism or self-centeredness that wants full unbridled power. And we see indeed that Moshe, first he says one thing, but then he responds about this. He's like, "Embrace what you have. You don't need to be Kohanim or Levi'im. You have Kohuna." But then Dathan and Abiram talk about something else. Dathan and Abiram talk about the fact "You told us you're going to bring us into a land. You never did. You have failed us miserably. We lived in Egypt. You took us into a desert. You said we're going to another land. Nobody has a field. Nobody has a vineyard. Nobody has anything to call their own." This is a whole new argument that Korach didn't discuss. So here is a third level of the argument. And that's indeed, right, the final conversation in terms of the rebellion. This is about the colossal failure of giving us a future. Which if this is the case, we understand very well the juxtaposition between the story of the spies and the story of Korach. Because what happened by the story of the spies? What happened was there was tremendous grief. The Torah says in Parshas Shlach, after Moshe Rabbeinu told them that they're going to stay in the desert, so the Torah says, and it's a very, very moving pasuk in Parshas Shlach, "Vayis'ablu ha'am ha'od." The nation went into avelus. They went into mourning. They went into grief. This was not what they expected. You know, they wanted to have the cake and eat it, too. You know, rebel when they want to rebel, and then say, "Don't worry, it's going to work out." And here was really this was serious business. You don't want to go into Eretz Yisrael, you're not going to go into Eretz Yisrael. Huh? It looks like there was some level of teshuvah. The next morning they wake up and they say, "Hineni va'alinu." They already start marching up the mountain. We're going. Moshe Rabbeinu said, "Don't go. It's not going to work." They said, "No, we're going." And indeed you have this whole group called the Ma'apilim who go up. Now, we could understand the nature of this grief. This was a change in trajectory that was not just a small little change. This was obviously an entire vision was transformed, the vision of life leaving Egypt, coming into the desert, and a few days later going into Eretz Yisrael was completely transformed. They would remain in the desert for four decades. And anybody between 20 and 60 would pass away, would perish in that desert. Only the younger generation and the women would go into Eretz Yisrael. So, there was a tremendous pain and brokenness. And here we see a fascinating thing. You know, they speak about people's response to grief. Usually five stages. When a person confronts loss, and loss can happen in many different ways and in many different forms. But Halila, when a person confronts loss, there is denial. Denial, that's the first coping mechanism. It never happened. After denial often comes anger. It did happen, and there's a lot of anger, a lot of upsetness. Then there's often what's called bargaining and negotiating. Okay, you know, we could compromise. I won't get 100%, I'll get 80%, 50%, 40%. And then there's the realization that no, the bargaining is not going to help. It's like the reality hits the person in the face, and then there's often a tremendous sense of sadness or depression. And then there's the stage of acceptance. These are very natural, common stages, although sometimes in a different order and different elements are emphasized. But denial is the first way of coping. It didn't happen. That's almost It keeps me safe. If it didn't happen, it didn't happen. I think it happened. Anger is another way of coping. It's It's It's It's I'm angry. It's It's a way of confronting it through anger. And then there's bargaining. Bargaining is, you know, I lower my standards, you lower your standards. When one realizes, however, the truth of the reality, it becomes very, very difficult. Until a person can come to a place of acceptance, and what acceptance is, acceptance is very, very profound cuz acceptance is not eliminating the pain or eliminating the reality. Acceptance is creating space for the truth of the reality and really allowing an entire shift of consciousness and how the person lives. That's why it's so hard to get to that space because it could sometimes challenge every fiber in your being. You know, those of you sitting here or watching or watch this later who experienced this in your own life in different forms, you know, we sometimes have a dream of what life is going to look like. And that dream is lost. That dream is shattered. That dream is broken. It could happen for Shalom through physical loss, you know, through through a death, but so many different types of loss, you know, loss of innocence, loss of relationships, loss in our relationships with our spouses, with our children, loss in terms of our own inner, you know, what we find out about ourselves. And in the beginning there is very often, you know, denial. It's not real. It's just, you know, just a little phase. And then there's very often a lot of anger, a lot, a lot of anger. Anger towards God, anger towards the world, anger towards other people, anger towards ourselves. There's always the stage of bargaining, you know, okay, I won't have this, but I'll have this. And then when all of that is gone, the person is confronting a real void. And there's a natural, natural, deep state of sadness. And acceptance, which is usually a very, very, uh, evolved state. Acceptance is really a tremendous, uh, moment of deep humility and ability to change my paradigms in a very, very powerful way. It's almost like the the is a metaphor of the Balatanya, a very powerful metaphor. If you have a seed, that seed will never morph into a tree if the seed does not completely decompose. As long as the seed retains its identity, it's amazing, it's beautiful, but it remains a seed. It's by burying the seed where it becomes invisible. And then ultimately, the seed decomposes and opens up. And now, you know, there's a seed has a coat, and the seed has a little embryo, and the seed has the part that's called endosperm, which is what feeds the little baby baby the little baby plant. And all of that is transformed. The coat of the seed is removed. The embryo develops into you know, feet kicking downward, which are called the roots, and and and hands kick moving upward, which are called the shoots, and the little sapling comes out. The endosperm is completely eliminated cuz once you have leaves, it's it's getting food from the sun. It turns sunlight into glucose, into sugar, called photosynthesis. But the original seed is gone. So, I can hold on to the seed, but it never becomes a tree. So, it's the decomposition of the seed that is very, very scary in a person's life. The way the spiritual masters call it is between one yesh and another yesh, there's always an ayin bemtsa. Between one state of existence to a completely different state of existence, there's what's called ayin. There's there's a sense of of nothingness in between. That's the bridge. Nothingness is called nothingness, but really the word nothingness is no thingness. No thingness, not nothingness. Because when the seed is in the earth, it's not nothing. It just loses the thingness, the previous image of itself, the identity that it had, it loses. But now it actually becomes something completely different and unprecedented, but it's not an easy transition. You know, with a seed it's something we're all used to. When it comes to a person's personal life, you know, going through that iron, whatever that means, is in many ways a decomposition and a death. A death. It's a form of death of of of my ego, my expectations. And some of these dreams and expectations may have also been very noble and very sweet and very good. The seed is not a bad creature. It's not like you're getting rid of bad things. And it's that iron, which actually allows a completely new yesh to emerge. So, when we talk about acceptance, acceptance is not just acceptance that I become a passive creature where I'm just now a victim. I'm not in denial. I'm not even angry. I just don't have emotions. That's not acceptance. That's another form of of of death, of detachment. It's a form of detachment. We're talking here about an empowered self, which really opens itself up to a mystery of infinity. You get what I'm saying? It's a very big difference between passive acceptance, I'm just another carbon and carbon origin. I'm just a bitter, resentful person, which is also very human, yeah. First of all, it's not shalom to correct me. That's number one. That's number one. If it would be, it would be would be pretty sad after what I'm explaining about growth. You understand? If I wouldn't be open to correction. Number one, but I didn't take it that way anyway. Exactly. Acceptance itself comes with many, many different aspects of growth. Acceptance, and as you say, integration is really where the acceptance is not in a powerless and passive way. It's where the person opens themselves up to something much deeper. It says in Zohar that chokhmah is made up of two words, koach mah. Chokhmah, wisdom, is koach mah. What does koach mah means? The koach of what? What does that mean? Koach Ma? So, the Tanya explains that it's the ability of curiosity. The prerequisite to all wisdom is Koyach Ma. It's the ability to say what? Just what? What means I don't know. I can't control. I don't have it figured out. I can't put it in my box. It's it's elusive. It's transcendent. It's opening myself up to things that I don't need to control. I don't I could say Ma. And that's really, you know, when Moshe Rabbeinu speaks about Aaron, he has an expression and he says to uh to to the Jewish people, he says the Aaron Ma Who Ki Sal Elav. Ma Who? What is he? So, literally it means like, what do you think he is? You think he's a power hungry? You think he's a monster? Who What is he? He's not the man. He was chosen. Like, what do you want from him? Go to God. There's a deeper explanation. The Aaron Ma Who? You know who Aaron is? Aaron is the ultimate embodiment of Ma. Ma. And Ma Mem Hey. And Moshe also earlier says he's earlier says the Nachnu Ma. Parshas Beshalach. What are we? Again, it means like, what do you think we are? We're trying to control you and I never wanted this job. Like, I'm not I'm not interested in this job. Like, I didn't need this. I was happy to be a shepherd in the desert. Trust me. This is not about trying to control anybody. I would be the first one to retire. I'm really not here to control anybody's life. I'm a conduit. It's hard for Korach to understand this. This concept of Ma is opening up a person to a place of what? Which is where the person's curiosity is so profound because they're open to something that's transcendent. And really, every loss is on a deeper level a transition to a transcendent experience. This isn't in many in no way minimizing the impact or minimizing the grief. It's just allowing a person to operate with their full presence and depth and not giving up at the most precious commodity we have at every moment in life. And that's the self. Your soul being your best friend. Your soul being the most amazing thing in the world. The Jewish people confronted such a loss right after the story of the spies. That's what they confronted. And what's the first thing they do the next morning? Denial. WE'RE GOING UP. WE'RE GOING UP. NOTHING HAPPENED. YOU SEE, IT'S FASCINATING. Therapists think they developed these five stages in our generation. But if you look at Parshat Shlach, the first response is the next morning, denial. It never happened. And Moshe is like, no, it happened. I'm so sorry, but we he don't don't don't go up. The plan changed. Wow. They didn't listen. Many of them didn't listen. They went up. They were struck down. As the Torah says, they were called the Mapilim. But we can appreciate where where they were coming from. Let's like Let's just rewind the tape recorder a little bit, right? Just press rewind. What's the big deal? We made a mistake. Let's go back to yesterday. But you can't go back to yesterday. That sober exper- that sobering experience is not an easy experience. But that's the first reaction. The next reaction is a further denial. At the end of Parshat Shlach, there's a guy chopping wood on Shabbos. What Where did he pop up? Where did he come from? Where did this guy come from? It's so interesting these juxtaposition. He's basically denying everything. He's like, I'm done with the system. What does Shabbos represent? Shabbos represents that there's a creator, there's a creation, there's a purpose to life. Right? He's like, we're done with this. Yeah. Yeah. It's where denial and anger come together. An almost denial of everything. Korach doesn't have the audacity to say that. But Korach's anger is not against God like this chapter of the wood. He's going to go against Shabbos. He goes against the leaders, Moshe and Aaron. Now, Moshe and Aaron are not to be blamed for what happened with the spies. It wasn't their fault. Moshe was not the one to be blamed. Moshe didn't decide this. Moshe is the one who sent the spies. That's true. But with a completely different agenda, with a completely different perspective. But in the nature of anger, what happens is people's impulsiveness takes over and they sometimes, as a person once wrote, people destroy what they love most. When a person is dysregulated and I'm completely overtaken by my anger, by my ire, by my fury, by my hysteria, by my panic, my world was just destroyed and there is a lashing out of anger. And that's what Dathan and Abiram are telling Moshe Rabbeinu. You could poke out our eyes. You are a disaster. You destroyed us. You took us out of Egypt. We're all dying in the desert. You promised us Eretz Yisrael. You did not deliver. First of all, Moshe Rabbeinu is not the one who promised Eretz Yisrael. Moshe was a messenger. Moshe is not the one who didn't deliver. But it's irrelevant because this anger is not based on a rational explanation. It's based on a terrible, very profound way of coping. If this is the case, we can understand very much how this connects to Parshas Re'eh, to Sefer Devarim, chapter 14 in Deuteronomy. What was this pagan practice all about? Why were they tearing out the hair of their head? How was that going to help? What happens so often is when a person loses themselves in anger, there's no dignity that's left. And that's why the Torah says of their banim atem laHashem Elokeichem, you're children of God. Lo sasimu karha benei neichem la'meis. Korach and karha are very much related because Korach's mutiny was essentially on on collective level what this practice was. Why are you going to your head, by the way? Why are you tearing out the hair of your head? Everybody's going to see it. The Emirates didn't wear sheitlach. Everybody's going to see it. And the answer is, I don't care if everybody sees it. You go to the head to the to the leader of the body. The head of the body and they tear out their hair. It's almost a sign of hopelessness. It's not just grief, it's a sense of hopelessness. They're gashing. They're They're doing gashes in their skin. Lo is going to do that. They're literally scraping off their skin. It's painful. So, when people physically self-destruct, physically harm. Their pain is so demoralizing. It's so profound. I mean, unfortunately, we know about this. You know, people who cut themselves and make gashes in their body and literally scraping off their skin. Almost to divert their attention from the real pain. Either it's a form of help helplessness or another form of of of physical pain, which basically doesn't allow me to think about the emotional pain I have to confront. But, there's a sense of helplessness in this grief that is so so deep. And the Torah is warns against it. The reason the Torah warns against Anything the Torah warns against is part of the fabric of human nature. It's part of a coping mechanism. If it wouldn't be a coping mechanism, you wouldn't have to warn against it. Right, when the Torah says, "Don't do something." It means that it's part of human behavior. It says, "Don't steal." because people could steal. "Don't lie." because people lie. You know, don't betray a relationship cuz this is These are our coping mechanisms. And this is one of the coping mechanisms of a person. And he says, "Ki am kodesh atah l'Hashem Elokecha." You're a holy nation. God has chosen you to be an am segulah mikol ha'amim asher al pnei ha'adamah. What does that mean? Never ever question your holiness. Never allow that template that I may have inside of myself that everything is lost. There's nothing here. The core is destroyed. You know, that's the core that a person owes to themselves and deserves to always have. It doesn't mean that the grief is not real. It doesn't mean that the pain and the suffering is not real. But it means that the grief and the pain is within a context of a self that is rooted and anchored in infinity. Banim Atem Lashem Elokeichem. And a child is an in separable part of a father and a mother. There's nothing one can do to say, "I am not your child anymore." Or you're not my son, or you're not my daughter. Unfortunately, even if they're not on speaking terms. And unfortunately, even if there's a lot of pain in between them. But the connection is essential. It's non-negotiable. It's intrinsic. That's why the pain between parents and children is such a profound pain because it's not just a relationship that you could say, "Okay, we were friends yesterday. Let's not be friends anymore and we're going to move on." A child is a physical and spiritual continuum of the father and the mother, even when they're independent. That's the paradox of childhood. They're completely separate, but they're completely one. Banim Atem Lashem Elokeichem. Banim Atem Lashem Elokeichem means that even in the greatest pain and difficulty, you relate the relationship is never ever challenged. There is a divine loving embrace that is eternal. And you're rooted in a place of infinity. Again, it doesn't minimize or or devalue or delegitimize or make light of the pain that's going through. Moshe is not saying it's not painful. What Moshe Rabbeinu is saying is don't allow that pain to tell you that yourself is valueless. That your life is just a mistake. It's a random mutation. That the pain is a sign of how bad you are, how hated you are, or how evil you are, or how much God hates you. Because that notion of God hating you is the deepest form of self-hate. Self-hate really means that at the core of everything, there's no self that has value. In fact, in Sefer Devarim, Moshe tells the Jewish people that when the spies came back, the Jewish people went and they said, "Besinas Hashem is on you." It was God's hatred to us that caused him to take us out of Egypt. The moment I feel deep down that Hashem hates me, that's a profound tragedy. Cuz certainly then I must hate myself. There's no self even that has value. And once there's no self that has value, so there's no anchor in the tsunami of life. There is always a self, a divine self, that I must always cherish and come back to. And as I said, I think last week in the class, you know, when somebody has a real love for themselves, and real love for themselves is not self-centered love. It's a love of of truly understanding that my soul is a piece of the divine, and my journey is sacred, and myself is sacred. The self is sacred. So then even with adversity and criticism, you know, I can have a thousand people criticizing me. It may be constructive, and I should learn from it. It may be not constructive, and they're just doing it to criticize. And at the end of the day, it doesn't matter so much. Or it doesn't matter at all. But if I hate myself, I can have a million people complimenting me, and it also doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because it's coming to a self that the template of it is so wounded, is so profound. And that's the danger of Korach. That's what the Korach is. That's what the bald spot is. Here they attack the physical head, and here Korach attacks the spiritual heads of the Jewish people, which are Moshe and Aaron. Tears the community against each other. So it wasn't even about what they're going to say, you know, what's going to be the excuse. It's a form of hopelessness, of anger, of demoralization that causes people to self-destruct, and this is what happens after the spies. And that's the connection to the Korach and the Nachem Lemech. That's on one level. But I want to take this also to a a deeper level. Where this juxtaposition between the spies and Korach yet has even also others profound spiritual significance. On the first level, it's a warning. It's a It's more than a warning. It's a lesson. It's a lesson in a person understanding that all pain, all pain that we experience in life, we must be able to contain and hold space for it with empathy. And even the thought that comes in to delegitimize me in the process and destroy whatever is left, turn the I in instead of into a journey into a destination. It's where the decomposition of the seed is the ultimate destination. It's everything is over and it's over and my life is cursed and I'm a loser and everybody hates me and the world hates me, which are all very normal human emotions. If there's somebody who feels that way, trust me, you're not the only one. These are all human emotions. But that's part of the I. It's welcoming all these thoughts and feelings as part of the process of decomposition, which with curiosity and deep humility opens me up to a much deeper place of integration, which yes, will not look like the place where I was before. It's true. It's a different person. It's true. The seed was never going to look like it did. Yosef was the one who was thrown into a pit not once but twice. His brothers threw him into a pit, and then his master Potiphar threw him into a second pit. So he was the man. He was the man. What happened was he wasn't buried. He was planted. And the person who emerged afterwards was a completely different person. It was not the same person. You couldn't recognize the Yosef, the innocent Yosef from his home to the new Yosef who was a viceroy of Egypt. And he could have easily sat and said, "You know, my life could have been different." It's true, it could have been different. And there's a lot of pain in that. It's not like Joseph doesn't cry. It's not like Joseph doesn't grieve. Moshe Rabbeinu is not saying somebody died, oh, just move on, you know, nothing happened. No, a lot happened. In fact, something so profound happened that maybe everything I was holding on to, I can't hold on to because it was all taken. All the rugs I was stepping on maybe were removed from me. So, it's not like in a I can't hold on maybe to anything of the old paradigms. It's almost like letting go, you know, letting go literally. There's a possuk in parshas V'zos Habracha, very profound. Moshe Rabbeinu at the end of his life, he speaks to the Jewish people and he says, "Mitachas zero'os oilam." So, Reb Nachman of Breslov says, "Below" literally means below the world there are arms. Mitachas zero'os oilam. Under the world, tachas, under the world there are arms. And he says there are people that feel very grounded on our planet. You know, they just You you could even see how they walk, you know what I mean? You could even see their gait, like they feel stable and established. They have two feet on the ground and nobody is going to challenge that. That's one type of people. There's other forms of people that emotionally they feel like they're falling off the planet. Anybody relates to what I'm saying? Like they don't have a place on this planet. There's there's like a a deep a deep emotional vulnerability. So, so that he says, Moshe Rabbeinu says, "Mitachas zero'os oilam." For those who fall off the world, they fall off the globe, there are arms under it that will catch them. A very What What a profound observation. And then he says, "But it's only those who fall off the planet that can feel the embrace of those arms." Because if my two feet are standing right here, I'm good. I don't need your hug. It's Mitachas zero'os oilam, you know. Dovid Hamelech could feel Hashem yasveini because avivi me azavuni, cuz he didn't have that firmness that others had. So, it's these arms, so there's a paradox here. Because it's not minimizing the experience, but it's really letting go of almost everything. That's what it means ayin. That's what ayin is. And that ayin morphs the person into the yesh. But there's two types of ayin. There's an ayin that is a form of death. There's an ayin that's a it's a death sentence on a person. And then there's an ayin that remains curious. You see the difference? Death is a sentence. It's a destination. It's over. Curiosity is I don't know. But my not knowing is with a seeking. It's with a longing. It's with an openness. The heart remains open. And when the heart remains open, that's the key. Cuz when the heart remains open, I'm open to the light that's going to come in. And there's going to be light that's going to come in because banim atem lashem elokeichem. You're not lost. There's no such a thing. You're an eternal child. You are divine. God is indestructible. You're indestructible. God is infinite. You're infinite. God is eternal. You're eternal. Chaila ad vekayem lanetzach. Banim atem lashem elokeichem. A child means that at the core of everything, you know, go to that DNA and you're going to find the father and the mother. You're going to find your father and mother. You are divine. You're a chelek elokai mimmal. We could strip away everything. And you're going to find infinite light over there. You're going to find an infinite embrace. And sometimes I have to strip away everything in order to find that. Because if I don't strip away everything, then I rely on more superficial things to hold up my ego, to sustain me. It's when I'm stripped from everything where I can actually find out who I am. Now, nobody invites themselves to do that. It's not something we say, "Altaviena ledani sayin." But that's that's really it's a it's a completely it's a paradigm shift in acceptance. And as you say, number six, integration. There's also number seven. you didn't mention that, transformation. That's also deeper, but but these are all stages that have to be done with humility and without jumping ahead of oneself because I jump ahead of myself and I'm like I'm already at stage seven. I'm not at stage seven cuz what happens is when I'm at stage seven before I went through the steps, often I'm amputating parts of the self. I'm I'm I'm I'm not I'm not honest about what's happening and these other parts will make, to use an model in IFS, these other parts may come back with a vengeance. Thank you very much. Huh? Ishakach. They may come back with a vengeance and that's why there's always the empathy for all the other parts and all the other perspectives. But let's now go one step deeper in this process. I don't know, deeper, another step in this process. And see the story also as a juxtaposition, but really Korach responding to a very profound message that came out from the story with the spies. And this is where the mystics in the works of Kabbalah and Chassidus Machshava, the story of the spies and the story of Korach are seen in a very very sublime way. At the surface, it looks like these are a bunch of rabble-rousers, ungrateful, bitter Jews who will not you lose as Abba Eban once said about Israel's neighbors, they never lose an opportu- they never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity. This was Abba Eban's quote, I believe. They never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity. You can say it about certain people, you know. They're good at it. Some people are very good at it. At the surface, you know, when you read the Sukkot at the surface without understanding deeper, it just looks like it's a bunch of ungrateful, bitter Jews who will do anything to make another revolt. If it's not Monday, it's going to be Thursday. And Moshe could never get it right. But there's really, like everything in Torah, there's layers upon layers upon layers. Korach was actually saying something very profound, according to this interpretation, and responding to what happened with the spies. The Baal HaTanya Likutei Torah says something very powerful about the spies, and the Sfas Emes discusses this. The Maharal also intimates this in other Sefarim, that the Meraglim really had very high Neshamas. They had very high souls. And they had an argument. Their argument was, we got to be crazy to go into Eretz Yisrael. The way they said it in Parshas Shelach is, Eretz ocheles yoshveha. This is a land that will eat up those who live there. What do they mean, it's going to eat up? Literally, it means it's going to kill us all, cuz there's giants there. But there's something deeper. The physicality of the land is going to consume our souls. We're going to become What happens when you eat something? It becomes part of you, right? We are what we eat. It's not just a cliche. I eat carbs in the morning, and the carbs are part of me, and that's why I get into a bad mood, right? I eat some sugar, and the sugar becomes part of me. I eat kale in the morning, and the kale is part of me, and then I'm just a free spirit. Eretz ocheles yoshveha. This is a land, an earth, that eats up its people. What does it mean eats up the people? The people now become part of the earth, cuz the earth eats them up. They become earthly people. So, the Meraglim are saying, look at Look at our life here. We're in a desert. But what type of desert? It's not a livable place. It wasn't a place that was habitu- that that could be habituated by people. It was a dry, parched land. There was no growth. There was no water. How do you sustain a 4 million people? We need produce. We need water. The answer is, they lived in paradise. They lived heaven on earth. They weren't living on earth. Physically, they were on earth, but they were in heaven, literally. Pun intended, you know, clouds of glory enveloping them, literally in God's all day. Moshe as a teacher, Aaron as a high priest, breakfast, lunch, and dinner is mana from heaven, which as you know is the only food that the Torah says by Silas. They didn't have to go to the bathroom because it was food that was completely nutritious and integrated into the blood. No part of it had to be dejected as in other foods that we have earthly foods which are a mixture of Tyvan raw toxic and non-toxic. The mana had no toxicity in it. You know what that does to people? You know when when a person eats even for 40 days or for a few months cleaner food, you know what that does to people? Imagine 40 years eating this type of food. In fact, the Medrash says that the Torah could have only been given to the generation that ate man because their bodies were so cleansed that they could be receptive to divine wisdom. It's fascinating idea. Because when a person we know if I stuff myself with food, I can't even understand abstract concepts, never mind feel them. We become numb. We become dull. We become stuffed, plugged. And this was not that they eat ate fruits and vegetables cuz even people who eat fruits and vegetables still have to do what they got to do. They were eating man which had nothing nothing that was Silas, nothing that could have been integrated into the body. So, this was such a cleansed lifestyle. Never mind financial pressures, physical pressures were non-existent. Literally non-existent. So, the Maragalam said, "Let's face it. You guys got to be crazy to agree to this plan. What would happen when they go into the land? They have to become farmers. They have to become military men. They have to create governments. They have to go out of the clouds of glory. They have to nurture themselves. They have to create a society. Eretz Yisrael, this is going to EAT US UP ALIVE. THERE WILL BE NO SELF LEFT. THERE will be no spiritual identity left. We will become slaves to survival instead of transcendent creatures that are ambassadors of divine love in this world. This is how the Alter Rebbe in Likutei Torah explains the sin of the Meraglim, right? So, almost when I read it the first time, I'm like, you know what? Makes They're right. We know what life is. We know what life is. Yeshua and Caleb scream four words, "TOVAH HA'ARETZ ME'OD ME'OD." THE ONLY TIME IN CHUMASH where it says me'od twice. "Tovah ha'aretz me'od me'od." The land is good, very, very. We have tov me'od in Chumash, not me'od me'od, the only time. We have B'CHOL ME'ODECHA, ME'OD ME'OD TWICE, which means infinity. What Yeshua and Caleb were telling the Meraglim is, "You're right, but you're wrong." You're right because indeed there is a major concern with going into the land, of course. But you're wrong because this is the whole purpose of creation. The purpose of creation was not to remain in heaven. Trust me, the paradise you're having in the desert is not even close to the paradise you had before you were born. But the soul came down. "Tovah ha'aretz me'od me'od." The great uniqueness of the soul is the power of integration, integrating heaven and earth. Indeed, Hashem's purpose was to go into Eretz Yisrael. And there's something in the earliness, in the ha'aretz me'od me'od, that touches the essence that is even beyond the revelations that are in the desert. The ambiance in the desert is holy, no question. Sacred, heavenly, transcendent. But me'od me'od, the pure infinity of Hashem, which is even beyond revelation, you're going to touch only on earth. "Tovah ha'aretz me'od me'od." So, the Meraglim were very lofty souls. Their sin from this perspective was that this was a rebellion against the very cosmic plan. Which is I'm not supposed to detach from my earthiness. I'm supposed to integrate. It's the ability to be able to create a society on earth where yes, I could be consumed by the earth. Eretz Yisrael, but can I also create tova oretz meod meod? And indeed that generation I don't know if you want to call it a punishment, there may be a reward. They stayed in the desert. You know, people don't realize they were 40 years in this paradise. They got exactly what they wanted. They lived 40 years with man, with the cloud, with the rolling stone, be'er shel Miriam, water that was completely supernatural, with Moshe Rabbeinu as a teacher, which with Aaron as a teacher. Really life couldn't have gotten too much better. They had exactly what they craved for. The spies actually fulfilled the yearning of so many of the Jewish people who didn't want to go into Eretz Yisrael from this perspective. Now let's really understand what happens in Eretz Yisrael that doesn't happen in the midbar? The biggest part of it is mitzvot ma'asiyot. In the midbar, most of Hashem was spiritual connection, intimacy with God, divine bliss, which includes meditation, internal spiritual connection, spiritual consciousness of divinity. That's what they had. In the Eretz Yisrael, you don't have so much spiritual consciousness. I got to work the earth. My kids need to eat. Somebody got to do the laundry and they didn't even have washing machines in those days. Somebody has to clean the house. Somebody has to defend this country. Somebody has to clean up the garbage. There's no clouds. There's no clouds. We Everybody has to do the work. It's so easy to get bogged down. And then there's the disappointments in life. And there's the cynicism. And there's the grief. And there's the pain. And there's simply the struggle for survival. But over there, you have what's called mitzvahs ma'asiyos. Most of the mitzvahs that they couldn't do in the desert, most of the mitzvahs connected precisely with the natural life and the earth, the eretz, toiva eretz me'od happens in eretz Yisrael. And what the Korach learned from this was something very profound. That Yiddishkeit is not just about spiritual connection. If Yiddishkeit was about spiritual connection, the meraglim are right. Yiddishkeit is actually about connection in a very, very physical and practical level. And that's what the power of the mitzvahs. The power of a mitzvah is not only a person's feeling that accompanies the mitzvah. Because if that's the case, the feeling without the mitzvah should count for everything, but it's not the case. If comes Pesach, and instead of eating matzah, I do some breath work and I meditate on emancipation. It's a great thing to do, but I didn't fulfill the mitzvah. And if in the morning I instead of putting on tefillin or separating challah or lighting a candle before Shabbos or whatever it is, I say I'm going to meditate on my relationship with God, it's a beautiful thing to do. But the mitzvah requires a physical action. And the same is true with the most of the 613 mitzvahs. It's a mitzvah ma'asis. It's a mitzvah that requires physical action with a physical body. The meraglim said, "Nah, that's just symbolic." They made a mistake. Toiva eretz me'od. There's something very deep in that relationship. To give another metaphor for this, if a couple is sitting and they're having an amazing evening together and it's truly loving and incredibly bonding, and then the spouse, the wife turns to her husband, she sees the clock and she says, "Oy, my sister is coming to the airport, my mother is coming to the airport. Can you please go to the airport and pick up my sister or my mother. I'm so exhausted. Can you please do it for me?" And the husband says, "Absolutely not. I want to just be with you. I love you too much. I don't want to go away from you. I don't want to now go to the airport and separate from you. I want to stay here and just connect to you." It's a beautiful beautiful feeling. But everybody understands that a deeper part of a relationship is actually, can you do what I need? This is what I need. This is what I want. No, but I want to be with you. I know you want to be with me, and I appreciate it, and it's incredible. But that's connected to your experience. And now I'm going to ask you what I need. Well, one of the most powerful things in a relationship, and it's a very common mistake, is people distinguish between their feeling of the relationship and actually being there for the other person on their terms, not on my terms. A couple once came to me, somebody for his wife's birthday, he took her on a hot air balloon journey. The problem was she was scared out of her wits. She hated it. But he wanted the experience. So it was amazing, and he dreamt about it, and he prepared it, and it's kavaldik. You know what I mean? It's just she really disliked it. So very often, people mean well, like, "Yeah, I want to be close, and I want to, and I want, and this is what I want." And it's amazing, and and it's important to know what you want and what you need, etc., and talk about it. But the relationship is sometimes touched in the deepest way when I actually ask not, ask not. Yeah, that's what Kennedy said, but I'm going to paraphrase it a little bit. And ask not what she can do for me, but what I can do for her. And that may be stepping away from what I want to do at this moment, and really tuning in to the music of the other person. You know, somebody said, "What's the definition of love? It's learning the song in the other person's heart and reminding it to them when they forget it." The song in the other person's heart may be different than the song in my heart. And that's what the Miraglim didn't understand. A mitzvah is not just my own spiritual experience. A mitzvah is what Hashem wants. Th- This is what my spouse needs. This is what I want. I WANT TO STAY. I want TO BE WITH YOU. I WANT TO CONNECT. I JUST WANT TO EXPERIENCE CONSCIOUS. That's amazing and it's incredible. But there's something about a mitzvah where you touch the other. It's touching infinity. TOYVA HA'ARETZ ME'OD ME'OD. Even the deepest spiritual state of consciousness is my experience. It's a human experience. It's a profound human experience and it's also part of the mitzvah. There's a mitzvah of Ahavas Hashem and Yiras Hashem, which is all about consciousness. It's about love and awe. B'chol l'vav'cha, b'chol naf'sh'cha, b'chol me'odecha. So, there's l'vav'cha, there's naf'sh'cha, me'odecha. So, sometimes in that physical mitzvah, that simple act, you're calling it simple. But Hashem says, "This is my will. This is touching the pure infinity." This Korach heard in the story of the spies. Korach said, "If that's the case, then Moshe and Aaron are not greater." This was Korach's profound response. "Lammah adu'ah tisnas'u? If you describe it as about kavannah, internal spiritual states of consciousness, I understand that Moshe and Aaron were completely in a different space. But if ultimately the story of Yiddishkeit is toyva ha'aretz me'od me'od, so the action of a mitzvah is the same by Moshe Rabbeinu, by Aaron, and by the simplest Jew. There may be a DIFFERENCE IN THE KAVANNAH of the mitzvah, the intent, the mindfulness, the inner spirituality, the bliss, the love, but the action is the action. The action is the SAME ACTION. SO, KORACH SAID, "LAMMAH ADU'AH TISNAS'U AL KEHAL HASHEM? KOL HA'EDAH KULAM KEDOSHIM EVERYBODY CONNECTS TO YOU TO GIVE OFF IS IN every mitzvah. In every soul. This was the whole MISTAKE OF THE MARAGLIM. THE maraglim took and they saw it all as a spiritual transcendent journey. Now I understand Moshe and Aaron's uniqueness. Once it was established that they made a spiritual miscalculation and a profound one at a at that. They were failing to understand that the core of Judaism ask not only about your own experience, but ask what Hashem wants from me today. And the physical mitzvah even though it may not be accompanied with profound emotion or deep spiritual intelligence is still very powerful like the Medrash said that it might so occur. Again, you can have a person meditating Pesach a whole night not eating the matzah. They didn't do a mitzvah. Another person ate the matzah, maybe they weren't interested in eating the matzah, weren't in the mood of eating the matzah, they did the mitzvah. The same is true with shaking the lulav on Sukkot. The same is true with hearing shofar on Rosh Hashanah. If I meditate on the concept of the cry of the shofar, but I don't blow the shofar, I did not do the mitzvah. So some people dismissed it. Now, what's the big deal? It's just symbolic. It's just a physical tangible way. It's not the main thing. This was the mistake of the maraglim. Korach saw no, they were wrong. Torah Eretz Yisrael might. Spiritual consciousness is good if it accompanies the need and the desire of your spouse, of the person you love. In this case, it's Hashem's mitzvah to bring in godliness into the physical body, into the physical world through the physical mitzvah. If so, Korach says, "Kol ha edah kulam kedoshim." That kedusha connects to everybody identically. That's the whole point here. So Korach's actually was a very fascinating rebellion because of what happened with the spies, and yet Korach made the opposite mistake. And what was the opposite mistake? Korach dismissed the other part of Yiddishkeit. And that is when we talk about the need to integrate and to be in the physical world and to do the mitzvah on a very physical level, and a very practical level. And even when it's stripped from deep emotion or intelligence or consciousness or inner work, it still has tremendous power. Just like if my wife needs something and I actually do it for her, that's a very real connection. And the fact that you're not in the mood of it, as they say, who cares? That's what Korach said, who cares? You know, you have two fathers, right? They both come home from work. Kids want to spend time with daddy. One father says, "You know what? I'm going to go to my class I'm going to go to my office in my room. I'm going to meditate on my love for my kids." And I'm going to lock the door. And the other one says, "I'm so exhausted and I'm really not interested and I would love to get into bed or just lie down on the couch or whatever it is, but I think this is what my children need now." And he gets down on the floor and he plays with them or has a catch with them. Right? Who actually connected to their children more? The other one maybe worked on themselves and is dealing with their process and it's important. But the actual connection happened with the one who sat down on the floor and tuned into what my child needs. The fact that I'm not IN THE MOOD, OKAY, FINE, you're not in the mood. So, I'm not there, my heart is not fully there. Okay, your heart is not fully there, but you know what? Your values were there, your soul was there, your desire was there, your choice was the right choice. Somebody once said, you know, everybody knows an X-ray is very, very important. If you want to know what's happening inside, you need an X-ray. But I never saw somebody hang up in their living room or dining room the pictures of their X-rays. Right? Do you ever see you want to see your children's teeth what they look like, so take ask a dentist for a picture of the mouth and the face and hang it up on the wall. It's much more real than the other pictures you have on the wall. The other pictures are just cosmetic, outside where you put on a nice suit, cute face. COME ON, LET'S GET the x-rays. Let's see what the bones look like. Nobody does that. Why not? Why not? The answer, of course, is x-rays are important to be able to know what's happening inside, but the person is the person that we see. That's not the fake person, that's the person. And that was the mistake of the Meraglim. All right, a person's machshava, dibur, umaiseh, my thoughts, my words, my actions, my external being, that is who I am. True, an x-ray is important, and that's why tov haaretz meod meod. So, the action of the mitzvah, that father who was there for the child practically, there was a real relationship, there was a real bond. So, Korach now takes it to the other extreme. He says, so there's no difference between Moshe and Aaron and anybody else, everybody is holy. What was Korach's mistake? Korach's mistake was And that was the first thing that Moshe told Korach. The first words that Moshe tells Korach is boker veyoda Hashem es kol asher lo. In the morning, God will let everybody know. So, Rashi says, what does this mean? The second to the last source, Moshe said to Korach, Hashem made boundaries in this world. You can't turn morning into night, you can't turn night into morning. Vayehi erev vayehi voker, they're both created by him, but there's a difference between them. And the same It's true, the difference between Aaron and everybody else, Aaron is a kohen gadol, you're not going to be able to change that. It's part of the DNA of creation. You want morning should be night, night should be morning, IT'S TAKEN FROM THE SAME GOD, BUT there's a demarcation. This is called night, this is called day, nothing you can do nothing you do will change that. According to this perspective, there's a very spiritual the very profound response here. And that is there could be two types of relationships. It's true that the mitzvah itself is the most powerful thing in the world. But a mitzvah that's stripped from love and from a spiritual consciousness is like the difference between night and day, between sunrise and sunset. To use a metaphor, you can have a diamond and the diamond is covered with mud. It's covered with filth. It's covered with dirt. Will it sell for cheaper? No. Does it have the same inherent value? Yes. But in terms of looking at it, it's harder to look at it because it's dirty. It has to be cleaned up. A person can sometimes do a mitzvah, can learn Torah. They're serving God on the earth. Our earth might might. But if I don't work on myself, if I don't refine myself, if I don't cultivate my own inner consciousness, what often happens is the diamond I have, but the diamond could be bedecked with with dirt, with filth. As the Gamara says, a person could learn Torah and it becomes poison for them. A person could do a mitzvah, but there's so much ego in it. Is the mitzvah there? The mitzvah is there and it's very, very powerful, but it could be bedecked with clipus. It could be bedecked with darkness, with mud. The Medrash says that the purpose of creation was Hashem wanted to have a dirah bitachtonim. He wanted we should make a home for him where on earth, in the lower elements of reality. But having a home includes two things. You could live at home with somebody you cherish and you're there a tremendous dirah and you're there and you're both there and you're there with with your true being. But one thing, the home is dark and the home is dirty and the home is disorganized and there's clutter and chaos. You're there, it's a home. A beshenish kein lichtike dirah. It's not a geshmakeh dirah. There's no brightness. You don't enjoy the presence because it's all dark. There's no windows. There's no light. A Jew can do mitzvahs, but there's no kedusha and when there's no inner spiritual conscious, which means when I don't learn about my soul, when I don't open myself up to the different parts of me, and open myself up to my own spiritual connection with God. We're living in the same home, I MADE A DIRAH BITACHTONIM, but it could be a dark home. The king is here, HASHEM IS HERE, BETOCHAM HASHEM. BUT THERE'S NO EXPERIENCE of kedusha. And that's what Moshe tells KORACH, BOKER. OF COURSE, OF COURSE IN THE LEVEL OF THE mitzvah we're all identical. Everyone is. But there's a concept called boker. There should be light in THE WORLD. VAYODA HASHEM, A PERSON should experience intimacy with Hashem. I could GO TO THE AIRPORT BECAUSE my wife asked me to go to the airport, then I'm angry, and I'm bitter, and I'm resentful, and I did it. I did it. And it's I'll probably get a few points. But sometimes people are doing the right thing, but the pleasure is not there. The love is not there. The bliss is not there. And these are two different mistakes people make in Yiddishkeit. There's the mistake of the spies, there's the mistake of Korach. And they're both very profound mistakes. The mistake of the spies is IT'S ALL ABOUT MY FEELINGS. It's all about my inner consciousness. That's what it's about. It's not true. It's about what God needs from you. It's about what my children need from me. It's about what my wife needs from me. It's about what my soul needs from me. Yeah. And sometimes I need to step out of my own inner emotion and step in to fulfill the purpose or part of the purpose of my life. Yeah, maybe my soul wants all spirituality, but God wants me in this world. Toyva ohr itzmayd mayd. So now there could be the opposite approach, and that is I could become robotic. Okay, so it's all about actions, just show up, do what's needed, and I'm not there anymore, because who needs my emotions? Who needs my consciousness? And then I make Korach's mistake. Moshe and Aaron represent a part that's equal with everybody, but what's the uniqueness of Moshe and Aaron? They were in complete alignment with Hashem every moment. Yeah, when it comes to to to experience of conscious, everybody needs a Moshe and Aaron. Moshe and Aaron represent full spiritual alignment. Aaron was the kind Godel. Moshe Rabbeinu was the Navi Hashem. That's what they give. And the relationship with them opens up a person to that place. These two errors are so powerful because we see constantly an ongoing conversation among the Jewish people today between two different streams of consciousness. You know what I'm referring to? There are those who criticize a lot a new generation of Jews who are focusing a lot on emotional healing, emotional well-being, learning about themselves, how they're showing up to life, what type of nature, what what are my relationships made of. The relationships in marriage, relationships with children, your relationship with Hashem, your relationship with yourself, your relationship with your family. And some people mock it. They either mock it with cynicism or with dismissiveness. And some of them even very idealistically. It's like this whole new generation that became consumed with the self. Somebody was telling me the other day, he's like, "What do you think? Parents and grandparents and they stayed married. Do you think they were all happy? They stayed married. They were soldiers. They You get married, you build a family, you put one foot ahead of another foot, then you do what you have to do. And you don't go and analyze, I'm feeling this and I'm having anxiety and I'm I'm not having anxiety and today I'm having real anxiety and I I'm not open and I'm depressed and there's a lot of bitterness in me and I'm dealing with wounds and who am I and who I'm not. Do your job and move on and you don't have to feel so much. You know, make Shabbos. And there's a Sheva Brachas tomorrow night. And other people, you know, mock that. It's like, "Oh, these traumatized people who are not ready to face themselves and don't want to deal with their emotions and they're just escaping from themselves in the name of religion." And there's oh, we're trauma. EVERYTHING IS TRAUMA, TRAUMA, TRAUMA. THERE WAS NO TRAUMA FOR 5,000 YEARS. IN THE LAST 20 YEARS, A new generation DISCOVERED THIS TRAUMA. NOBODY EVER HAD TRAUMA TILL TODAY. YEAH, THE MOST LUCKIEST GENERATION. They have It's a pest to the kinder. Spoiled brats have everything. They like They don't even know what Pesach used to look like, yeah? Or Sukkos or whatever, even Chanukah. You know, you remember when you had to make your own your own wick, Rachmana litzlan? And put out bread for b'dikas chametz. Like you had to take bread and cut it into 10 pieces and find paper and put it in, you know? Et cetera. Like, "Whoa." And squeeze oranges and macaroons were worse than bacon and eggs and It's an ongoing conversation. And what I want to say is that in a very, very deep and spiritual way, it's these stories in the Torah, Parshas Shlach and Parshas Korach. Because there is a very profound truth in each of these perspectives. And when we approach it with humility and with true yiras Shamayim, without ego, we realize the search for authenticity never becomes judgmental and egotistical in one way or in another way. It's always done with curiosity and humility. The mistake of the spies is the mistake of really focusing only on my internal emotional self and there's nothing outside of that. And that can lead to a form of self-centeredness and also spiritual self-centeredness. The Miraglam were very lofty souls, but ultimately there was a spiritual narcissism there and I'm saying a spiritual one. Spiritual narcissism means I want to be an Aiden. I get it and I understand it. We all understand it. Like who doesn't want to be? But this was not the purpose of creation. The purpose was to go and destroy and they failed that. They they they they failed that vision. They didn't believe in the power of the soul to transform Earth, to transform the physical and that's what the power of the Mitzvah is. But now there's the mistake of Korach and the mistake of Korach is he completely delegitimizes inner work. Who needs inner work? You don't need inner work. I don't have to deal with my emotions. I did the Mitzvah. I put one foot ahead of another foot. I did it. Where I am in the relationship? Who cares where you are in the relationship? Do what God wants. I don't care where you are in the relationship. It's a big mistake my Shital. There's a concept called Kedusha. There's a concept called experiencing the relationship. Experiencing the relationship only comes from a lot of inner work. I need to clear up the rubble, the clutter. I need to clear up my inner dirt, my filth. Yes, I have to deal with my wounds. Just ignoring them and saying I'm doing the right thing, what is often happening is there's a lot of repression. And one can experience the lack of bliss, the lack of pleasure. Sometimes a person who in the name of doing the right thing mocks people who are working on themselves, you will see in their lives a lot of anger, a lot of bitterness, a lot of passive-aggressiveness. Sometimes my coping mechanism of not dealing with my stuff is just blaming God and saying we're soldiers, we don't need to feel, we put one foot ahead of another foot and it's using beautiful words, but But it justifies my inability to be introspective, my inability to say, "You know what? Maybe you are capable of a much deeper relationship." You know, somebody came to see me and they were just slandering this whole generation. And I'm like, "Excuse me, I might completely disagree with you. I'm going to give you a different interpretation. Maybe today people are feeling that they want from their marriage something much deeper than what your generation felt. Maybe it's a compliment. Maybe they say, "You know what? I don't want a robotic relationship. I don't just want to feel I'm doing it as duty." Maybe they want to feel bliss in the relationship. Is that such a bad thing? Maybe it's actually a sign of Google and there's going to be complete vacuous between us and God. There's a navua in Hosea, the prophet Hosea we say before Shavuot about Midbar. Hashem says there's going to be a day you're going to stop calling me my master and you're going to stop start calling me my husband. V'haya bayom hahu lo tikre'eni ba'ali, ki im tikre'eni ishi. What's the difference? Ba'ali is my master. You're above and I'm on the bottom. Ishi is from the word aish, you're my fire. You're my passion. You're my bliss. This doesn't eliminate your shamayim. It's real It's your shamayim that's based on I don't This is too good. I'm afraid of breaking such an amazing relationship. It's a different type of fear. It's not a fear because you're so big and strong and I'm just a slave. It's a fear that comes from something so powerful and positive I'm afraid to break it. So what what is that navua about? That navua is about devekus. You can't camouflage that. You can't make believe you're in bliss when you're not in bliss. We know when there's a good marriage there's a good marriage. You can't fake it. The marriage where everybody just does their civil, they're nice people, they do their thing, but there's nothing hap- There's no There's no energy. And then there's a marriage where there's real energy where people look forward to see each other, to be with each other. It fills their souls. You can't fake these things. Maybe people are looking for that today. Why are you denigrating it? Maybe they're not just self-centered, emotionally consumed with their own egos. No, maybe they actually want an authentic relationship, and maybe with God it's the same way. Maybe there's a generation that wants a real relationship with Hashem. Maybe by davening they actually want to experience what it is to have a relationship with God. I grew up in a Yeshiva. It was a fine Yeshiva. I don't remember remember one teacher ever talking about what does it feel to have an experiential relationship with God. Not what it means philosophically. Philosophically I heard a lot. Experientially, what does that feel What does it even mean? What does it mean? What does love mean? Because of course, for this you have to deal with what does love mean. Do you know how to love yourself? Do you experience love to yourself? Experience love to other. This is a language today that everyone is searching for. I don't think it's self-centered. It's not self-centered at all. As a preparation for Moshiach, what do you think is going to happen when Moshiach comes? Going to be complete intimacy between Hashem and us. What does intimacy look like? And it doesn't look like I'm just doing what I have to do, and I'm overwhelmed, and I'm angry, yes, and I'm repressed, and I don't deal with my emotions, but I'm a soldier. That's not intimacy. Intimacy is deveikus, it's oneness. For this I need to BRING ALL MY PARTS into the relationship. To bring all my parts into the relationship I have to have a conversation with all my parts, with empathy. But a conversation with all my parts. This was Korach's mistake. This was Korach's rebellion. And therefore what happens to Korach? He gets swallowed up into the earth. What does that represent spiritually? You see the mistake? The Meraglim said what? No earth. NO EARTH. HEAVEN. CALEB SCREAMED, "TOVAH HA'ARETZ ME'OD ME'OD." WHAT HAPPENS TO KORACH? He gets consumed by the earth. What the Meraglim said, "Eretz ocheles yoshveha." The earth is going to eat up. Who did it happen to? It happened to Korach. It literally happened to Korach. BECAUSE KORACH PULLED IT EXACTLY IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. HE SAID, "IT'S ALL ABOUT EARTH." It's all There's nothing besides the food. This is what HASHEM WANTS, NO PROBLEM. WHY ARE MOSHE AND AARON DIFFERENT? KADOSHA, TRANSCENDENCE, SUBLIMITY, BLISS, internal love, a relationship of pnimius? We don't need that. WE COULD HAVE STAYED IN THE DESERT FOR THAT. WE WENT INTO ERETZ YISRAEL. Moshe said, "No, it's about integration." Of course, the mitzvah is the main thing, hamayso v'ikar. My wife asked me to go to the airport, GO TO THE AIRPORT. I KNOW YOU WANT TO SIT AND DRINK WINE and eat cheese. It's very nice and talk poetry, but she wants you to go to the airport. Get into the car and go to the airport. On the way, you could listen to a class by Rabbi Weiss, you'll get some spiritual inspiration, BUT IT'S NOT LIKE SITTING WITH YOUR SPOUSE. OKAY, YOU COULD MAYBE CALL. Don't do a Zoom cuz you're supposed to be looking on the road, not on the screen. Of course, lo hamedrash ikar al hamayseh, but you want the mayseh to be a lichtiger mayseh. You want the the diamond to shine. You want the home not just to be a home where we actually live. You know, we could live in A BASEMENT AND WE HAVE an apartment. But, I don't have to explain this to this girl. There's something called about a beautiful home. A home you come in there's an ambiance, there's an energy. Davening is filled with love, learning is filled with love, a mitzvah is done with passion. There's a There's an energy and that could come only come when a person is present. To be present, I need my heart there, I need my soul there. And therefore, I need to work. I need to know who I am. I have to bring in my parts. This is not a delegitimization of mitzvahs. It's not a delegitimization of yiras shamayim, of kabbalas ol. It's the ultimate sublimation of all of Judaism because all the mistakes in Chumash are not just mistakes that bad people made. They're part of the journey of learning about truth. So, the spies catch on to one truth and we have to understand it and yet be cautious. Korach holds on to another truth and we have to understand it and be cautious. And it's in the polarities and in the juxtaposition that we We learn about the tremendous opportunity and privilege of integration. With all the pain that comes with it, but also with the greatest opportunity of complete and true and authentic oneness. Have a wonderful week. This class is brought to you by the Yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. Make even a small contribution at www.theyeshiva.net/donate.