Why is Doing Teshuva So Difficult? - Rabbi Yaron Reuven

[Music] today's world the most difficult thing that a person can do is Chuba and the reason why doing chuva is extremely difficult is because the first step of doing chuhwa is admitting that everything that you've ever believed is wrong now the Gemara says in my circuit yuma that a person can look right in the mirror and see nothing wrong all he sees is something wrong everywhere else everyone else's flaws everyone else is foolish everyone else is cheap everyone else's this but he himself mushiya doesn't see anything wrong in himself which means that in order for you to do chuhwa in order for you to admit that a shim runs the world you have to admit that whatever you believe it until this point is wrong and the reason why is because if you believe for a second that when you go to work you're the one that's making the money and it's not a sham giving you the money it's actually a key line a sham it's you've made yourself into a little mini God you think that you're making the money yeah but I work so what who gave you the brain who gave you the arms who gave you the legs be the idea who give you the money who gave you the speech who sent the customer who sent the goods who had somebody invent the goods for you to buy them who says that the molecules within inside every one of yourselves supposed to work what if did it work today they want to go to sleep so to think that Corey votes meid that we made our money we built our house we run the world is actually a MARSOC Philip and the reason why is because in essence you're removing God from your life so the most important thing that a person needs to know is that entailing the vida many was called as coup regime the Messiah is going to come from him but this was already decided in creation this is already decided when Hashem created the world since there was certain things that Hashem decided already before he created the world he wrote the Torah before he created the world nine hundred and seventy four generations before he created the world he used black fire on white fire to write the Sifl too high and that's why until this day every sinful tar looks exactly the same you have the black ink on a white scroll white background why isn't it pink or yellow or blue blues nice purple maybe because not that that's not the way that I shall wrote the Torah and the rule is we have to emulate what a Shem did before he created the world one of the things that he decided before he created the world is the name of the Messiah now the vita matter what everything that we could all imagine and beyond our imagination he said in tailee number 34 leg opening she only got the Chimel under him go my sons listen to me I will teach you the fear of Hashem why don't want a fear of him if you go to most lectures today and you have most speakers today and you have most people that speak about Allah saying you got your mama is almost like a saying a curse word no one wants to talk about you gotcha mine everyone wants to talk about loving action we want to love us him we don't want to be afraid of him the problem is that according to the ha ha Meem according to our taco shop it's impossible to love something when you don't know what it is now once you know what a Shem is at least whatever you can grasp as a human being immediately you're going to be scared because the first thing you're gonna realize is that he's in charge of everything so now every one of you Bokke Shem has bodies you haven't turned into angels yet at least I don't know so your bodies your flesh and blood inside your flesh and blood you have proteins trillions and trillions and trillions of proteins each one of these proteins has to fold in a very precise way if the protein customer Shalom folds in the wrong way you know like women know how to fold clothes if the husband Falls are close it's like tisha brows it's like what you do you might as well crumble the clothes so if you fold the if you fold the protein like you fold the clothes you have a problem why because if the protein is not folded exactly the way it's supposed to that's where Mohammed come from that's where disease comes from and how many proteins do you have trillions trillions of protein if one one of them just one not a hundred thousand or a hundred million or some big number we can't count to just one folds a little bit to the right somebody could lose the ability to walk somebody could lose the ability to see somebody could lose the ability to breathe somebody could lose the ability to have an operating heart one protein now who's responsible for those proteins folding exactly the same way every single time shimmy bah and it's not a one-time thing it's a continuous thing because you keep reproducing one mathematician tried to figure out what is the statistical possibility that every protein will fold exactly the same he tried to figure it out very smart guy said okay I can't figure it out by myself so I have to have a computer figure out how to figure it out not to figure it out but how to figure out the actual conclusion he says and he connected to what's called a supercomputer and a supercomputer after calculating how long it would take to figure out it says it would take ten to the hundred and twenty seventh power years which means is 10 with 127 zeroes after it years meaning the world can exist a million years and it still wouldn't be the beginning just to figure out the likelihood of one protein folding the right way in the same god that's folding every one of these proteins is the god that you have to fear once you understand that he's in charge of these proteins and his charge of your brain cells he's in charge of every single thing if you're not scared you're insane so why aren't people scared today why do people do such bad things two reasons for it number one they don't know they just simply don't know they don't know the truth they don't know what the consequences are of not doing what a Shem wants they think like I used to think which is that following the tour is an elective you can do it if you want you don't have to go if you want to follow to are good for you if you don't live a different lifestyle you're still Jewish everything is good as some still loves you you still have gone Eden like it says in it Fela on your mushy right before Shabbat comes in Coley / time kala kalah ox I'm sorry on Shabbat coisas l'm calico lama bah everything's that regardless of whether you're a righteous person or not regardless of whether you learn to or not regardless of whether you follow to our nod regardless of whether you keep Shabbat or not you have a llama bar you're gonna be okay the problem with that argument that you didn't read the rest of the Mishnah that mishneh where it says Kohli / slim helical Olam haba comes from a second sunny green now every time I see him a second that means Murdoch my guys are oral - ha it's one of these books so for example this is a article this edition of book so imagine each one each time I say myself it it's one of these books there are 73 of these books it's 36 months ekits but it's 73 editions of this because it's English and Hebrew so it's when I see my second so-and-so I'm not mentioning the whole book I'm just mentioning one line within the book so imagine what's in the rest of the book so now enigma my second son Italy it says Kali slash lamb helical amoeba all of Israel have a share of the world to come and he uses the verse from the prophet Isaiah of America lots of columns and he came all of you are righteous and actually gives the definition of what it means it doesn't mean that everyone has all our bow it means that just like the c'mon I myself I got page 15 says that a Shem reserves or llama but for everyone but there's - or llama buzz there's the good one as a bad one there's getting it in and then there's the other hot place they have different names for it know some people call genome some people called health some people called cafe code seven other names the point is is that it's not a pretty place you don't want to go there so the quad says that colleagues that have something which one it's going to be it depends on you how do you know which the rest of Dagmara after that line that one verse is 10 pages saying and the following people do not have it so it says everyone except the following people and then it's 10 pages of who doesn't have it and when you read it you have to start doing - Bob why cuz you realize that you could be one of them now one of the things that shocked me when I first started doing Juba is that I realized that following what Hashem says is not an elective it's not if you want to it's okay if you don't feel like it it's also okay a Shem loves you regardless he loves you and that's why he gives you time but it doesn't necessarily mean that he can give you gonna die just like he gave Michelle Hibino the obviously has to be a bill now the Villa Mella tried to give us a few hints so we get to the good place so we get to the gun hidden so we don't make mistakes that cost us eternity and he says go my sons listen to me I will teach you fear of Hashem and the reason why is because in Keighley 111 verse 10 he says that she talked my I got a Shem the beginning of wisdom is fear of Hashem and we see this throughout all of the Torah we see this in the book of Deuteronomy or sifl Diwali Michela Ben who tells army say what are the Shem want from you other than you fear Him meaning only thing he wants to do is for you to fear Him that's it just fear of Shem so the question is why don't we need to fear him why can't we just love him might be just a sham I love you give me a million bucks a share my love you give me two million because the million I spent it I said I love you give me a big house I said I love you give me a good wife give me a good husband give me good kids I said I love you don't give me anything just let me keep whatever I have assumed I love you let me live to 120 minimum why can't it be that way why can't it be that way because then customers Shalom you're turning a Shem into sent to close Hashem is not sent to close he's also not your friend you didn't give you gifts for no reason thus if they omit which is one of the sages in our history said that a Shem wants to give you good because he is good he wants to give you good but his wisdom knows that he cannot give you good for no reason there has to be a price because if he gave everyone good they wouldn't appreciate it so for example if every time your kid asks for something you give it to them all you're doing is you're creating a little Hitler you're not creating a good kid why if every time you kid asked you for something you said yes so in the beginning again ask you okay I bought can have candy yes Abba can have another candy yes Abba can have another candy yes after a week about one carat candy then your wife wants to divorce you why cuz the kid has no teeth and the kid doesn't like you anymore why cuz he also he knows he doesn't have any teeth because of you so giving him everything he wants it's not exactly good now if you fast forward it and every time you ask about something he gives it to you and every time your son ask you something you give it to him he wants candy the beginning and then he wants a phone and then he wants a Playstation and then he wants a car and then he wants a house Davida mother he's telling us that you're gonna make the same mistake that he made one time he had several sons and one of his sons he never told him no every time he asked for something he said yes whatever you want I have because I want to give you everything I didn't have as a kid he didn't have exactly the easiest childhood to be domina so one day the kid asked for something the devii diamond that has to say no what was it he wanted the mallet he said Allah you give me this you give me this you give me this you give me this you know what don't even give me anything more just give me your position I want to be king I want to be the video meta a Sherman says you can't be king of shem has to choose you whatever you've been giving my whole life everything I want now you're gonna say no finally odd can can't do it I'm gonna kill you and that's actually what he tried to do if Shalom became a little Hitler of Shalom could not tolerate the fact that his father said no because he was used to hearing yes so everyone knows that just saying yes all the time is not a good thing now Davina is telling us that when we learn what you got show my name is we're gonna learn when to say yes when to say no and a Shem wants to give you good but he knows that he can't just say yes all the time if you do good you get good if you do bad the opposite but the first and most important thing is you need to recognize it you can't ask for stuff and not know who he is now what's the point of having you gotcha mine what's the point of having this fear of Hashem in Saffold Valley the book of Deuteronomy chapter 28 verse 47 parashat ki Tov oh there's a very very scary polish ah that talks about all types of blessings in the beginning but then all types of curses after if we don't do and the verse says because you didn't serve a sham your God with happiness and with a full heart you're not going to serve your enemies now during the Holocaust the Adamo meet sons used to sing this used to sing this this verse so one of the people came to him and says this is for the love you know they're killing us right he says yeah they kill 10 of my kids and my wife he says every morning you say feed a chocolate before it feel a chocolate you say ricotta Chaka during because a Chaka you say bogus' shame that I'm not going thank God I'm not going do you still say this we ran our cost we're suffering we're getting beat up we're getting killed you lost 10 sons you lost the wives I'm out of him he's still happy - you're not going and yet no meat sons said duska right now when we're in the Holocaust I mean it even more I mean it even more why because Baruch Hashem that I'm part of the nation that's being murdered and I'm not the murderer and I already knew that this would happen because that's what it says in the Torah it says such things for us to go work for the enemy only happens because we didn't serve Hashem with happiness and with a full heart this is what happens so I know that Torah is real I know that I'm part of the nation okay we're being murdered it's not a good thing but I know that why isn't it this is a proof in the Torah as unhappy as the situation is at least it's a good proof that Hashem is not Santa Claus Hashem is not joking around when he says you have to follow what he says this is your gotcha mine this is fear of Hashem and it's best this is how the at moment sons kept the sanity on the other end the people that didn't have Yelich remain the people that did not have such difficulty am such closeness and glued to a shame itself when they saw all the things that were happening in the Holocaust they couldn't take it they lost their mind and unfortunately sometimes when the evil Nazis tried to torture us they would make it like they're giving us food there pretend like they're giving us food and it'd make a big pot of something and it have smell and people that haven't eaten in a few days they hear they smell something they run to it and they don't care what's in front of them who's not in front of them and many times they would kill each other just running for the food why because they weren't working on their you got your mind they weren't necessarily concerned too much about what a chef thinks and how we're supposed to behave no concern about their nefesh no concern about their bodies whereas people like the Admiral meet sons all he cared about is what is it I'm doing why who what when and how how could I do - bah how can I make sure it doesn't happen how can I help others and is actually a story by love Galinski I love a Shalom he said a story about another rabbi he loved a son he says this love goes on every single time we get food which was very rare whenever we get food this love gives Sean would give it to somebody else all you got is one cracker for four or five days assure me of him he says no he looks hungrier than me I have another day two days to survive I'm gonna give it to him why you don't have to save yourself let me save him first that's when you're more concerned about a shim than you are concerned about yourself now the Torah speaks very highly of someone that works on getting your mind to such an extent that if you actually look at the team and you open a TV and you open a sip of tedium and you see the verses before this verse in tealy it says that a Shem gives all the blessings all the good that you could ever imagine for anyone that works on your watch or mine if you are actively looking to figure out what does a Shem want from you what is Jam expecting from you it's about something that's holy to you or it's about just another day are you talking business on true hunch about and you're talking about your your company or you're giving your kids or he do about something you learned that week or maybe you're hearing it from them it's about another day or it's the most important day these are questions you have to ask yourself every single Shabbat and every single day and the reason why is because the mullah talks very negatively for anyone to violate Shabbat to such an extent that the Rambam Anil Hochevar chapter 30 says that a Jew that violates Shabbat on purpose he decides that he wants to drive on Shabbat because he wants to go to the beach or he decides he wants to go to the mall to buy t-shirt or he decides that he wants to watch TV because there's a game on or he decides that Shabbat is just like another day so I'm gonna go somewhere that I shouldn't be going to in the first place the Rambam says in the coach about that Jew is considered 100% an idol worshiper this is not me this is rambha way to Rambam get it from the game aha where the come I'll get it from the Torah wait till I come from a sham now why is he considered an idol worshiper because in the Torah chef says that every time a Jew keep Shabbat he's acting as a partner to a Shem and he's testifying that a sham created the world in six days and rested on the 7th you weren't there during creation you don't know anyone that was there either but how do you testify that a Hashem I know you did it I don't have to be there to know you did it you don't need to be such a genius to realize that Hashem is running the world if you need scientific proofs there's plenty of them if you need a tional proofs there's plenty of them if you need Torah proofs there's plenty of them any proof you want we have many shewing both of em there's hundreds of shulam you go to a website based org you'll find many shooing over every table you could imagine so you don't need to be such a genius to know that God exists but to know that he exists and to act on it at two different things most Jews believed that God exists most Jews believe that God exists but unfortunately over seventy percent of the Jews in the world do not keep Shabbat and the reason why is because most of them think that Shabbat is an elective Itzik you can do it if you want now a Shem said something else twelve times twelve times in the five books of Moses he says that a Jew that violates Shabbat has a serious problem with him why because I expected you to be a witness to say God I know you created the world and you rested on the seventh not because you need to rest but because you wanted to create a different day out of the week to break up my week to make sure that I feel like you did if you will not that he needs rest the Shem doesn't sleep in rest but I created a rest day for you now what happens if I don't rest what happens if I Drive or I watch TV or I do all these other things that I do during the rest of the week then they come again my second Shabbat says that that person is acting as the opposite what's the opposite it's like someone running around in the middle of Broadway screaming God I don't believe in you I don't believe in you I don't believe in you do nothing you didn't create anything so you turn on the car because you think I know I'm gonna go get some milk for my wife some bike what else well bite I'm gonna get milk on Shabbat no salaam bite on a lime the reality is that every time you violate Shabbat you're screaming to a Shem at the top of your lungs a chef I don't believe in you and for that Hashem says that puts you in a very serious condition what's the condition a condition of being an idol worshiper because the idol worshiper also doesn't believe in God he leaving a statue I bought from Chinatown for $15 he believes the statue is gonna give him money it's gonna give him health it's gonna give him something he says he doesn't believe and you don't believe same thing now if a husband told his wife honey I love you and five minutes later he slapped her in the face she'd say listen honey it's don't love me don't love me and don't slap me we can't say a sham we believe in you but we go to war against you every week can't use that acarya meant so when a person understands that Hashem counts as Shabbat as the deal there are three things that are considered covenants in the Torah the Shabbat there's Faline and as you wait a ship devote Shabbat a Jew is obligated to do two out of the covenants out of the bleats every day to bleat Mila you didn't have to do your parents did it for you tell them thank you but bleep realize not it we don't mean just to Bleek me like you did when you're eight days old and no one asked you with me that means you have to protect your bleat you can't have a new girlfriend every week you can't have premarital relations you can't waste seed you have to make sure you protect this week why that's the deal if you remember inseparability sheet when obama Vino sent Eleazar to go look for a wife for a Sonny tuck he told him listen make sure you find a woman out of my family and make sure she's not a canonic she's not part of this cursed nation of Kanaan and make sure you don't come back here and tell my son no I found you one let me show you because she doesn't want to come here Italy as it says okay fine fine no Kodava I'm not gonna do what you say of course you Bobby no no no swear to me okay no I swear no no no swear to me on something that's the most valuable what's the most valuable my bleeped and it says that he put his hand on Daisy Eric Eric means his wit later on which we read about two weeks ago Yakko Vivino wants to give yourself his son a blessing and his sons he wants to give a blessing but before that he says yourself I need you to promise me something I need you to promise me that you're not gonna bury me in Egypt he said okay how about not gonna bury you no no okay no nothing I need you to swear okay I swear no need to swear with the most valuable possession we have what is it the bleeped put your hand under my breathe I put mine on your wit you swear so the bleeped is not like we think breat with our sick mind sometimes we're thinking about something bad debride is something holy why that means we're connected to God that's the original deal that started with of llama vino almost 4,000 years ago that's the bleeped the second covenant the second thing that's called the bleeped in Attila is to filling a Jew is obligated to late trillion six days a week Shabbat is not allowed to late Philly and on holidays is not allowed to late today Alan Ari has too late Celine every day Judah doesn't late to Philly because he doesn't feel like it we're doesn't have time to do it if it happens once in a while you have a problem but it's not a serious problem it's a sickness like having a cold or maybe even having pneumonia but it's not cancer but if you just decide that feeling is not for you you don't have time for it you have a very busy schedule god I'm too busy for you too late filling for five minutes I'm too busy to put the armor of a king the crown of a king on my head and say God I believe in you every morning or at least before the Sun comes down if you forgot in the morning you weren't able to the command says that person has la mama doesn't matter what he did he keeps the car from here until next year he gives us a million dollars a day it's not gonna help why every day told the Shem I don't care I'm not time for you you didn't fulfilled the deal five minutes a day it's worth it somebody told you listening I'll give you a million dollars to do a job okay how long is the job five years I'll do it no problem somebody told you to get not a million dollars you get a zillion dollars every single second what five minutes every day late feeling comforted I was there if I've made you to do it feeling if you're in a hurry if not you do the whole to feel out takes 40 minutes and you finish five minutes you have a llama bah but that also depends on on the third bleat the third breed is Shabbat so at any given day you have to fulfill two of them so every day six days a week you have to do if to protect your greet and you have to late feeling on Shabbat since you can't lay tefillin you have Shabbat and you have your bleat that at least puts you in good status but sometimes sometimes we get so busy working doing fighting arguing and doing whatever it is that we're doing to run our life that it's very easy to forget about God and that's why you're not sure mine comes in now I'll have more the highly out set a story that was shocking he said one time there was a couple that came to him I would tie these all true stories are not making up for entertainment purposes the point is for me to leave you with something you can take home that could actually affect you if you go home and you stay exactly the same that I just failed I wasted your time but if you go home and you decide listen I gotta do something whatever it is I don't know what you're doing what you don't do if you're not keeping Shabbat okay have to start figure out it keeps uh but if not late feeling okay I have to figure out it's not late feeling if you're not protecting your plate then I have to figure out I don't know protect my bleeped whatever it is you have to figure something out how to improve that's the point of our tour so what means oh uh means instructions its instructions how to live its instructions how to succeed its instructions how to get to Canadian it's like a map now that Mordechai Liao said that one time a couple came to him saying for the Hoff we need a special blessing our daughter is missing our only daughter is missing religious couple only daughter is missing we don't know where she is now her mother Kylie ow if he didn't have Hakodesh I don't know what he had all I know is that the things that he was able to do is beyond our imagination the whole time the mom is crying he's only paying attention to her the father says a few words here and there but he's not paying attention to him at all at the end of the meeting he says to the wife listen go to the grave with Ojeda and retailing and I'm gonna send one of my students with you he's gonna show you where and how and who and what said that you read there and there's other sham you'll find the answer they go to the grave and he tells the student listen I need you to listen to what they say because when he told him to retail him yes exactly what I didn't tell them what to read I told to retailing what they pick is something else that's from shaman think it open a set 14 there's 150 T name let them read you listen to what they say listen to which one they picked okay they go to the grave they start reading tailee the mom is reading team of divita metha crying to a share my shame don't leave me a shame I love you a shame this i7s the husband is reading war murder fighting comes back to the road mother Kali always the there was talking about you know reading things that were talking about war and fighting and horrible things and the wife was praying to Hashem says yes they'll see the truth in a couple of days two days later they found out the father killed the daughter why because the wife embarrassed him once the way for embarrassed in one time and he wanted to get back at the wife this is when the Chimera says that if you know someone who does not have you got your mind you're not allowed to be inside a closed room with him why he may kill you what it means a nice guy donates he gives he's a nice guy he makes people laugh if he's not afraid of God he may kill you the moment you make him angry where do we learn it from a vom Aveeno of rama v knew when he went to a familiar happy mother didn't know that salah was his wife he thought it was a system but after the whole - it happened a sham King taught him a lesson told her I'm gonna kill you if he don't free Salah she's his wife so he may have said to mom why did you do this to us why didn't you tell she's your wife why did you say she's your sister Mohammed says a very famous verse toffee Miller that gives us an idea of how important you got sure - he says I saw that no one here is scared of a Shem and they would kill me over my wife because they're not what has to do one thing at the other why would they kill you over your wife because they're not scared of a Shem the reasonable tie is if somebody is not scared of a Shem that means that they think they are a sham somebody has to be God somebody has to be God there can't be nothing either you think you're God or you believe in God either you think you're running the world or he's running the world one of you has to be running the world which means that if you have no you not your mind if you don't believe in God to such an extent that you understand that he's running every single thing in the world that means you think you're running it so the moment somebody comes to you and turns your world upside down doesn't give you the money you think you deserve doesn't give me the respect you think you deserve doesn't give you whatever you think you deserve whatever you're entitled to right or wrong you lose your mind you get angry and the garag says that someone that gets angry coming again osho Timbo all types of angry things from genome start taking control over him why here's no you're not sure mine he doesn't think that Hashem is running the world even when a sim is giving you something that's not so good it's still him even when a Shem is giving you something it's not so good in the end it really is good you just have to give it time now there was a debate between a cofell named Thomas tofu's and a Nabi Akiva and debate was if there's somebody that's very poor toner Stouffer says why you gotta give him any money for what if you believe in God let God pay him if you believe in God you think God runs the world by you giving him any taka you're going against God God decided not to give one of his servants any money and you're going to go against God by giving him any money that's the mindset of someone that doesn't actually believe in God and someone at Sacco film Kabhi Akiva says no no it's not quite that it's not that God decided not to give a servant money it's that God decided to throw his son in jail without any food and you decide let me go feed his son now maybe the father that threw his son in jail with no food was really upset for whatever reason he did something really bad he threw his son in jail throughout the key but after a while he cools down after why he's not as angry on his son now a week later he decides you know what it's still my son I love him bring him back here and then he reminded oh I forgot to send anyone to give him any food he gets really upset but now you've said no no no your honor I gave him food I fed your son for the last week is he gonna be upset at you says no you saved my son you saved my son in the pouch of wha you're gonna see this week you learn the definition of what you got show mine is in the Polish I in the beginning last week we learned that it's seven plagues me duck you're naked me duh measure for measure Hashem punished the Egyptians for all the evil acts but that was his first seven plagues first seven plagues the next polish ah he's given him the next three plagues and we see that Paul all the shop doesn't do to Vaughn till the end doesn't matter what happens people are dying people are suffering but in the seventh plague actually in last week's pawnshop when machette tells Paul listen a sham is gonna bring hail it's gonna bring hail on top of everyone on top of everything and there's only one way then you can protect yourself you have to make sure that you bring all your sheep all your cows all your donkeys whoever is everything inside that's the way you can protect yourself anything that's outside will be damaged by this hail it's ice with lava inside it good mixture so it says in Chapter 9 verse 20 I read the valid onami of deeper hole and needs it avid of vet McNeil Ella bottom rochelle awesomely ball tailed valladon ivory as ovet of a dove vietmike nobis today it says whoever among the servants of parole feared the word of a sham chased his servants in his livestock to the house meaning he put everything inside and whoever did not take it to heart did not take the word of a Shem to heart he left the servants and his livestock in a field so here one of the soldats one of the secrets we learned in the Torah is actually the language of Hebrew the strata Kaddish and we know that everything has an opposite for example tall short dark light black white and so on and so forth fat skinny so if you ask somebody what's the opposite of you gotcha mine what's the opposite of fear of Hashem most people would answer no fear of Hashem one is fear one is no fear but that's not what the verse is the verse says someone who fear - em put everything inside meaning you heard what a sham say you heard what was just said through you know and he put everything he listened so the next verse is supposed to be saying the opposite now if it was saying what we thought it would say someone had didn't fear a sham didn't put everything inside but it doesn't say that it says of a shell or some libel in Russian meaning someone who just didn't take it to heart lost some live meaning didn't pay attention to the details didn't realize and take things to heart that Hashem is running in the world that's the opposite of your lecture mine you're not sure mine is not something that you could just buy from a store it's not something that you just are born with it's something that you have to actively work on how do you actively work on it by paying attention now most people want to get to the second half of the shoe which is the part of how do we get to the love part how do we get to loving a sham and enjoying our relationship with them and so on and so forth now to get to the love of a sham we have to understand first of all what it means to have you got your mind the Hamim say that the lowest level in a Zonk adores I saw it it says that the lowest level of yatra mind lowest level there's levels lowest level it's fear of a sham for punishment meaning I'm not going to violate what Hashem said because I'm scary's gonna punish me I'm scared gonna take my money I'm scared he's gonna take husbands oh my my health I'm scared he's gonna take something I'm skates gonna punish me most people understand that fear why cuz they live with that fear every day with their day to day jobs their day to day life you try not to disregard the traffic laws because you'd want to get a ticket not because you like cops not because you agree with the government you guys no want to get a ticket you don't want to lose your license you obey the law not because you agree with the law you just don't want to get the fine you don't get punished you don't steal because you don't go to jail not because you think that stealing is so bad some people obviously think it stealing is bad but some people don't Bernie Madoff didn't think stealing what's so bad many other people don't think is dealing is so bad that's what they do what every day in our businesses there's no stealing only from the calab it's not it's not bad not stealing for Jews it's actually worse to steal from the going by the way because then it's too it's too sins when you steal from a Jew you're stealing give a serious problem you cannot enter gun hidden until you do to Bob gift to give the money back but we still work from a then you make two sins and the sin is one you stole same thing as the first one and the second one when the guy finds out you stole from him he's gonna blame the Jews he's not gonna blame you is and say oh the Jews are thieves that's called solution that's one of the three worst sins in all of Judaism you picked the worst spot to be in because you decided that stealing from the is okay so now people that understand this they don't steal maybe they don't agree maybe they think it's okay to steal but they still don't steal because they don't want to get caught sometimes you have couples that she thinks right he thinks left he thinks left she thinks right he likes blue she likes green they're the opposite but if they want slum bite if they want peace enough in the house they're not gonna tell the other person that they're always disagreeing with them there's certain things you just got to be quiet she wants to run the kitchen a certain way let her run the kitchen a certain way it's not your job he wants to run the business certain way let him run the business certain way she wants to raise the kids a certain way as long as it's not against God let her run the kid a certain way whatever it is not your job she has the job of doing running the house running the kids educating them you have the job of learning Torah and bringing Jonah's at the house you do your job she does our job but if you go into the kitchen and start telling her how to cook you're not gonna have some bite why too many chefs in the kitchen too many chefs stay out of the kitchen but it doesn't mean that you agree by you're not going into the kitchen doesn't mean that you agree with everything she does but you want peace you say you know what let her do whatever she wanted a kitchen what do I care I rather she does whatever she does in the kitchen then we have a headache for a week who wants this headache she rather tell them listen I don't really like your business so much but whatever that's the job he wants let him do with this job as long as it's an honest living whatever worked this job not gonna tell him how to run his business she doesn't agree with you but she wants to avoid a headache that gob otai is you got to own --is-- we don't do things because we don't want to get punished everyone understands this the Czar kadosh says that's the lowest level of fear lowest level every human being understands it what's the highest level the highest level of fear is when it's called you got the homey mood you're scared of his majesty you're scared of his greatness to explain to us in a simple way a couple that has a healthy marriage doesn't have a healthy marriage because they never argue every every couple has some type of argument every couple has some type of difference it's just it's a reality of life but how come they have salaam bite how come they don't want to kill each other how come they're always happy they have differences what's the secret the secret is is that they know when to be quiet and when not to the secret is they know that if I yell at her now I'm not so scared that she's gonna slap me she's not crazy I'm not so scared that he's gonna hit me he's not a psychopath he's a normal young being is that an animal but I'm scared he's gonna be offended and if he's offended it's gonna hurt the relationship it's gonna hurt the connection between us and that connection to me is priceless I don't want to hurt the connection I arrived there just be quiet at the moment that he's upset or whatever it is just so I don't hurt the connection that by the way is the secret to slum bite the woman came to arrive and she said for that love I have a lot of problems with my husband I think I want to get a divorce he says listen I'll give you a hint before I talk to your husband about divorce and this I want you to try one last thing but you have to do it okay fine it's for sure gonna work okay fine what's stuck on no notes that come what is this some school ah some prayer no no it's no prayer what I have to wear some type of jewelry kiss yours what I have to do no no something very simple says okay what can see it gives it two big bottles of water these are very special big bottles of what's very holy water every time your husband says something that you don't like immediately take a sip and hold them the water in your mouth for three minutes don't swallow it she says that's gonna work he says try it for 30 days 30 days later she comes back with the husband for the half he's the best man in the world I love him so much he says quote aha I don't know what you did there you fixed everything what give me more of this water where can i buy it is it in the mountains is it in the dish is it in Afghanistan is it in the Mount Sinai where crap I boil this water oh you guys just go to a local supermarket go so what's so special about the water he goes nothing special about the water I just know she talks a little too much if she shuts her mouth for three minutes is not gonna be any arguments if she's quite for three minutes not gonna be any arguments sometimes she talked a little bit too much we're a generation that loves to talk we love to talk so much as we all have cell phones - every two seconds I'll make sure who's what oh yeah how you doing what do you want nothing I just want to see what you're doing we just like to talk a lot sometimes we like to talk so much we just want to hear ourselves talk but you got the whole mood the fear of the Almighty means fear of the Almighty means that you don't want to hurt the honor of a sham because you don't want to hurt the relationship you have between you and him because you know that every single day you say ma Danny the phonetic I'm in the hive Achaea checks out the penis my TV I have another body monitor how you say every single day thank you a cell for bringing back my soul because you had a moon I mean what does it mean e @ m u9 u means you should say because I have a muna you know the persuit says because you have a muna in me why does it mean what does it mean that Hashem has a moon I knew the maja says in my second boat that when a person goes to sleep it's considered partial death 160th of death because the National Mah leaves the body a large part of the neshamah goes up to Shimon and then a Shama is pure and it goes to a Shem instead of Shem I don't want to go back before you sent me I was pure now this guy's stealing this guy is looking at every girl that moves this woman is not modest she doesn't want to like she doesn't like to wear clothes she's not covering her hair she's making since she's violated I want to go back before you put me in the body I was pure now you put me in his body oh hey Malcolm what's happening to me I don't want to go back Asim says you have to go back no I want to go back I said please please I said I'm begging you don't bring me back I'm already out leave me out Shem says you have to go back I'm demanding you to go back why our Shem because I have a Munna in him that today is gonna do Chuba became lullaby immunity huh I have a mu now the reason to Chiba today today is going to be honest today she's going to be modest today she's here decide today's the day I'm gonna start covering my air like a Jewish woman does today is gonna be a day that I'm actually put clothes on not because it's cold but because that's what as I'm said today's the day I'm gonna actually go to the picnic and actually learn a little bit today's the day that when the rabbi says something I'm actually gonna listen today's the day I have a mu not today is the day of Chava what if the day is not we check in tomorrow tomorrow you can have another one on you so when we have you got the low mood when we have this fear of the Almighty we're so scared to hurt this relationship this Amina that Hashem has on us the today's gonna be the day we do Chuba this week is the first time when I keep Shabbat this week I'm gonna shut down this dishonest business I'm gonna start something new honest business this week I'm gonna protect my eyes not start looking at every woman that walks this week I'm gonna make sure that I'm not gonna waste time watching TV I'm actually gonna learn to I instead this week I'm gonna work on fulfilling my purpose of life and not live a purposeless life this week I'm gonna make something of myself that's the optimal mood and the sages say once you got to that level are you scared of hurting the relationship that's the beginning of loving a Shem meaning that the highest level of fear of Hashem highest level is the lowest level of loving a Shem it's just the beginning of loving a Shem why is it the beginning of loving a Shem because loving asha means were removing our own opinion our opinion no longer matters we care what his opinion is what do you want to do what does Jim want what do you think we should do what do you think of someone's what can we do what is it tell us a we look for something called dot OA what is the Torres opinion meaning what's God's opinion that's loving a Shem loving a Shem means you're removing your opinion your opinion no longer matters that's why I try and every one of my lectures to make sure that people understand that I tried to look to use as little of my own opinion as possible because my opinion is irrelevant to you my opinion changes like every human being one day I like blue the next day I may like pink my opinion is human it's flawed God's opinion doesn't change that's why it says in APUs oak Marsh a boat I'll Amish a boat ahem my thoughts are not like your thoughts I don't think like you because my opinion doesn't change so once you get to a point where you realize that a Shem want you to win he's setting you up to win you realize that you can use this you let your mind to love a Shem to finalize this you'll understand it this way when you have your gotcha mine and you actually start thinking about a Shem all the time what does he want what does he expect what did he say can I do this deal should I do this deal should I marry this woman should I divorce her should I send my kid to yeshiva should I send to public school should I do this should I do that should I teach my kids baseball and football or should I teach them to lie instead should I teach them to be Greeks or should I teach them to be Jews we have a lot of Greeks we have almost no Jews every year we celebrate Hanukkah as if we won the war every chief gun you're bigger than their head and think we won the war the Greeks are in gain I'm celebrating on Hanukkah also saying these guys think they won the war look how many sports they play every day they play sports they worry about their bodies they worry about their money they worry about material the last thing they worry about is God we won the war so the reality is is that when a person understands that to think about a shemesh for his favor then he's gonna look for him you know start looking for him everywhere not just gonna sit for Torah he wakes up in the morning say ah you know what thank you a Shem forgiving me eyes that can see take you a sham forgive me hens that work Thank You Hashem for allowing me to go to the bathroom without screaming in pain one of the most righteous people that ever lived had a tycoon had a very big test for Michelle because of his level he was able to handle the tycoon what's his T Kuhn the tycoon was that every time he went to the bathroom he had such suffering that when he screamed they were listened to they would hear him in the middle of the ocean his name was Rebbe Kabir Dona see now that B was so righteous that the entire generation said if Messiah came he would be it he's a perfect human being it's a deep beautiful amazing everything is good if Michelle was here he would be a sham would select him to be mushy ha but he still had a tycoon he went to the bathroom and he'd said to his he was very rich he told the guy that was feeding his horses feed them right now freed them right now at this moment why because when the horses eat they make a lot of noise and he knew that when he goes to the bathroom he also makes a lot of noise and he didn't want people to hear him scream because then they'll be sad he won't make people sad but even though the horses made a lot of noise 500 horses made noise his scream was louder than the 500 horses so every time you go to the bathroom the least you can do is say Hashem thank you for making it work to help you I brought you posters called a share yourself I share your talents the blessing that you're supposed to say every time you go to the bathroom now your blessing a shame for making your body work your blood ahem that you have holes that a hope that are open when they're supposed to be and closed when they're supposed to be you have closings that are closed when they're supposed to be and they're not open when they're not but in reality and I'm telling you from seven years of experience of suffering that's one thing I have a degree in I know what it means to suffer for anyone who doesn't know my story you couldn't listen to it in the CDs you should think of em every time you go to the bathroom and you're not screaming the crabby it's my mus kiss Edition that you eat a burger you eat the potato you eat a tomato you eat candy you eat pizza you eat whatever you eat and it all comes out in an automatic way in a painless way the very least we should do always say you know what a semi Starbucks teamkill ah thank you it doesn't hurt so when you have you got your mind you're gonna start looking for a shrimp everywhere even if it's after you went to the bathroom because you'll see how amazing it is that it works then you're gonna get out of the house I say thank you a shrimp for giving me a car you know how many people don't have cars or the cars they have don't work and thank you them for letting me get to work you know how many people get into car accidents and the way to work you know many accidents happen every single day in America you know people die from car accidents every single day and you drive to work easily and peacefully hopefully ever she'll - I in the background and if you don't today you'll have CDs and you can listen to Shula Tola but the point is you go to work peacefully and easily no accident both Hashem no flat tire maybe a little bit of aggravation because you have to pay a hundred dollars in tolls but nonetheless other than that you're okay and then you have to think of some you know what Thank You Hashem for actually give me a hundred dollars to paint dolls you know how many people don't even make $100 for the day they work a whole day harder than you there's a lot of people that harder than all of you but they still have no money hard work doesn't mean you're gonna be rich there's plenty of hard workers that are broke there's plenty of smart people that are broke there's many stupid people that are rich there's many lazy people that are rich - why I shouldn't decides who is gonna be and who's not there's nothing to do with your hard work it has nothing to do with the skills that you have it all decides and what a sham wants to give you you do good with your money a sham will give you more you do bad with your money a sham will give you less now what happens when you see somebody - McCullers about driving a Ferrari on Shabbat how could you explain it how can you explain the people that don't keep meat slot but have everything people love to ask this question they have houses they have cars they have vacation eyes they have so many houses they don't know where to stay they have so many bedrooms they don't know where to sleep but when it comes to God no it's not for me how do you explain people that go against the Shem but yet have everything material i'll Amica - vermeil the Train on them at the end of passivate cannon at the end of part wait hang on a Shem says Michelle I'm a Louisville fan of la vida I pay my haters I pay my enemies cash to their face to destroy them the Rambam explains this verse he says that there is one punishment that's the worst punishment and all the taught that can happen in this world not in the other world that is very far from us to even understand it there's one punishment here what's the punishment Hashem gives up on you Hashem says you know what don't do Chuba I don't want your tuba go sin in fact I'm gonna give you more life and more money and more ways to sin that's a Michelin Aloha vive la Vida he's paying him cash to destroy him he's giving him more ways to sin because he says this person doesn't want to do chuhwa now I don't want it anymore so now when you realize that you're still able to do chuhwa because in your heart right now it hurts a little bit say you know what I got to do chuhwa the fact that you're even thinking about Chiba means you shouldn't give up on you the fact you're in a shoe to light 11 o'clock at night or 10 o'clock at night me the same didn't give up on you the fact that you even know what a bit knesset is mean to some didn't give up on you it means that a sham wants you to do chuhwa and it means that you can do Chuba for that you should thank him because just like a b-side miss Allen says as long as the light is still on there's still work to do we could still do chuhwa so when you realize that you still have the option of doing chuhwa you can still fix your life you can still turn everything around doesn't mean that you have to quit your job and go to a Cola they'll be a rabbi it just means you have to listen to a Shem that's it just means you have to make him a serious part of your life you wake up in the morning say thank you you go to the bathroom say thank you that just teaches you gratitude before you go to work say thank you how pray to a sham puts feeling on you go to work make sure you're honest stops you know stop doing things that are dishonest if you're doing something this time to stop if you're gonna get out get out of the house and you're a woman make sure you have clothes on if you want to know what happens to be modest women just look at the Book of Isaiah Book of Isaiah describes women that are not modest it's a horrible horrible thing of what it describes I'm not even gonna go over it I went over it last night the point is you don't want to deal with it just put clothes on cover your hair be modest why God hates Zima God's God hates immodesty the point being a bowtie once you make a Shem a part of your life then he's part of your life you hold all day every time you eat before you eat you say blessing every time you finish eating you say blessing every time you do anything you think about them every time you have a question you think what does em want from me what is he asking what is he saying simple once you actually start seeing the outcome of all of your actions you also start noticing all the things that he's doing for you once you start noticing all the things that he's doing for you is giving you a car is giving you a house is giving you a wife that loves you give you kids that are good he's giving you panis is giving you health he's giving you miracles you start noticing miracles you start noticing that there's literally a miracle every day sometimes they have to do directly with you sometimes they don't but you see miracles non-stop then it becomes easy to fall in love with a gem through your Racha mind you fall in love with a gem I'll give you a last story that happened this morning there was a miracle that I saw with my own eyes I see miracles boko same every day and I always tell people anyone that itazuke just call me I'll give you a miracle when happens same day every day is a new miracle sometimes with me something with someone else so last night I finished the xiulet late at night by the time I got home was maybe 2 o'clock in the morning I look at my phone and someone that I know from California sent me a text and he says this poor girl Buhari and girl 15 years old shamelessly my father died a month ago her mom lost her mind and she gave her up for adoption so this Jewish girl is now sitting at an orphanage and the orphanage found parents only problem is they're not Jewish they're not Jewish these parents so to send the Jew to live with non-jews you might as well kill him because for that moment that they go to a non-jewish house they officially become green you've destroyed their soul shemot him so he sends me a text it says listen I spoke to the place and they say we have 24 hours to find new parents asking myself where can I find new parents for a 15 year old girl that they don't even know in 24 hours oh good news it's not up to me it's up to a Shem so I send the text message to a few different people that I know a couple of groups I get a text message this morning maybe around 10 11 o'clock in the afternoon he says bokor shouldn't we found parents they already called they already made the arrangements that goes up the chef to go pick her up is letter M by tomorrow you're gonna be in a new house text message all that chef wanted is just try a little bit he's gonna do it anyway you have to just decide are you gonna be the vessel are you gonna be the tool use this or is he gonna use someone else your choice either way he's gonna do it are you going to be the tool take my guy my second Shabbat says something that most of us don't understand most of us think that if we give stokka we're already doing something good you give a homeless guy a dollar you feel like you're a million bucks I said look I give the guy a doll you should give me at least a million in return you donated $1,000 to the bacon and say do you think I said we should give me at least 10 million dollars he brought an ally on Yom Kippur a sham you should give me the town I'm at Sadiq you bought tois Leo's a chef I'll have to keep Shabbat anymore I'm excluded a lot of people think they come to me Knesset once a year they buy a few a yacht they give a little bit of money and I think that the rest of the year they don't have to show up I showed up once I donated enough it's fine I'm finished but the combined my second Shabbat and page 23 and also 68 it says it teaches us something extraordinary about it's the cow there's a mitzvah a Torah of PR not PR like the piano he took the wig PR meaning to give the end of the field in those days the common job was to be a farmer to grow vegetables and so on and the obligation of every Jew was to give a certain portion of the land of the fruit that was grown in part of the land to the poor people so the gua asks which part of the fruit which part of the feel does he give can he give the middle can he give the beginning so no no no you have to give the end you have to give the last piece to pay out the corner at the end so like Maya asks why do I have to give my stack ah at the end why can't I just give it whenever I feel like it I'm giving stack ash and I decide it's my money it says you have to make sure to give the end because if you give the end all the poor people are gonna know exactly when they're gonna get there it's the car and you're not gonna fail for the sin of wasting their time they're not just gonna sit there waiting for you to give when are you gonna give today no not today today not today today not today three weeks they're waiting for you to give you still didn't give cuz you decided at the end but maybe next you gonna sign the beginning and ever you're gonna decide to change your mind so says if you're gonna give stuck on you're gonna give it at the end that peace but then it paid sixty eight it says okay fine I'm gonna give the end but can I just be like kind you know there's Cain and Abel in a beginning posture build a sheet it says that Cain and Abel brought a coupon to Hashem Hashem said to Abel huzzah Kubo good job I like you : accept it take a knee says go away I don't want your co bun I don't want your coupon why didn't you want to scho bun because a bowl gave me the best you gave me the worst you said that seven doesn't eat the fruit anyway let me just give him the rotten fruit he doesn't eat it anyway what does he need my fruit let me just give me the stuff I don't want so the Gemara says what's the car you're supposed to give the poor you're supposed to give him the best the best part the best part of what you have why that is showing a sim that you know he's the one that gave you the money I'm not giving them what I don't want I'm not giving them the change that I don't want oh yeah little homeless guy here's the stuff I don't want I don't use this anyway it's gonna go in the garbage anyway so I'm going to a my mineral water bottle anyway then I'm gonna cash out in five years I don't want it a servant says I don't want it's the guy you don't want I want it's like how you want I want the money you want why because that shows me you know I'm the one that's given to you anyway if you do meet smart because you like them you missed out and half the Mitzvah why because the real reason you're supposed to do Mitzvah it's not because you just like it you're supposed to do Mitzvah because a Shem said so so when someone tells you listen you know used to eat pork now you don't eat pork did you stop lady liking pork no one stops liking pork says no I like pork okay so how come you don't eat it anymore go sim said so okay used to drive and Shabbat how come you don't drive and Shabbat anymore because you you don't like to drive anyone no I don't drive because Jim said so they meet smart they're not because you like them the meats Laura because of shame said so the reward is that you end up liking them that's your lecture my mobile [Music] [Applause]