What’s the Point of Teshuva If I’ll Probably Sin Again? Rabbi Shlomo Horwitz

Rabbi Morai Saskco, welcome back to the show. >> Hey, how are you? >> For those listeners who haven't heard, please go back and listen to our premier first episode. To get to know my dear friend Rabbi Morai Saskco. He is also a pioneering mechanic and administrator. So, go listen to the first episode and you will find out that Robbie Saskco wrote a wonderful book that I wished I had when I was a kid about questions that teens ask. Oh, here is a copy of the book. >> Really wonderful book about questions that trouble teens. And I had those questions. Lord knows I had those questions when I was a teen. And it wasn't easy for me to find the answers and find the right person to deal with it and take have what I thought was the courage to deal with these questions openly. Robbie Sask is providing this service. So we're going to jump in. This is Rashana Yam Kipper time, but if you're listening to this any time of year, it's worth listening to. And we're going to get right into it with the first question, which is Rabbi Saska, what's the point in telling God, "I'll never do it again. I'm doing toua." And really, I know deep down, yeah, I'm probably going to end up doing it again. >> I I think that it's a it's such a sincere question because it comes from someone who's typically very honest with themselves and trying to be like honest in their relationship with God. uh and they know they have an area they want to improve in but you know improvement is slow and it takes time and it's not necessarily going to be done in one school year or one year right people change their lives slowly over time and we go into yum kipper and everyone learned that sha means right I did it I'm sorry I'm never going to do it again and so how can we like honestly like speak to hashem and davin and say I'm never going to do it again. So I I think there are a couple of ways to approach this. I think a person if you say out loud if you say Hashem I did this a vera I did this sin I know I let myself down and I didn't live up to the standards that you have for me then even if we know we're probably not going to be able to eliminate this 100% but can you make a 2% difference right and 2% 5% 10% over time those things aggregate And over time you become a different person even small changes. Uh I think that a per we have to appreciate a small win. And just like if I had a whiteboard with me I would draw and there's a a small angle at the beginning but over time as the lines move out from that angle that small difference which the beginning it's like very hard to tell even the difference between these two lines but over time they're in very different places. I think a small amount of tshoua over time like a a little bit of a difference I think it changes the people that we are. So I think that's one advantage. It is worth doing tshoua and saying I'm sorry and admitting the sin um even if the only change I can make is a small one. The other thing I think is that a person that's able to say I've done this sin and it's wrong and I'm sorry. That's different than a person that's unable to say that at all. It makes a tremendous difference. Even if I I can't change now, but at least it's on the list of things I want to do. At least I know that change is something I should be aiming for. A person that says like this is who I am. This is what I do. Then that's uh a person who's not going to be looking at change at all. They're never going to get there. The first step is like saying like I know it's wrong. I know I have to do better. So, I think these are are two ways to get to it. >> Thank you. What What's the point of beating our chests? Seems like so antiquated. Come on. Really? I'm like, you know, waking up my heart. What's What am I doing with that? >> Uh, it's part of the choreography of Davining. You know, the uh the sages that helped design the filos that we have, the prayers that we have now, they they have us bow at certain times. They have us stand straight. They have us sit down. Um, and so also there's a choreography of being sorry that we use our body to like acknowledge I did this and I did that. And if it helps a person feel like they're in the moment, they feel like it's bringing up feelings of can do better, should do better, then it's very helpful. And if for some reason it doesn't click for you, I I wouldn't get hung up on it. What would you say to somebody who says that a lot of this is just Jewish guilt? I'm terrible. I'm a bad person. [clears throat] >> I don't know. Guilt. [snorts] We have to acknowledge when we've made mistakes in order to improve and move forward. But if guilt is something that is holding a person back, then it's unhelpful. Um, so I don't I don't know what like Jewish guilt would be. You didn't call your mother enough. I like that's uh if that inspires you to call your mother, so then it's worth carrying around. But if it's working against you, then it's not worth it. Um I think the ideal is for a person to acknowledge when they've made mistakes and be able to to move on from there because that's that's really the goal is moving forward. >> Excellent. So this time of year, even those of us who were familiar with the prayer book, suddenly we're bomb we're bombarded by Sleos special penitential, is that a word? Uh prayers and the prayers of the liturgy of Rashashana Yam Kipper. A lot of big words, a lot of flowery words. I don't understand a lot of that. Why should I say it? What's the point in saying those those feelless if I don't understand it? >> Yeah. So, this is a question I get from students like all the time I a couple of times a year. Some version of um I don't understand the prayers in Hebrew, so why should I say them? Can I just pray in English? Isn't that better? Something like that. Um, so let me just like parse this for a little bit between the like you described and like the regular prayer like and like regular prayers. So um for the regular everyday or shabasto then these are prayers that were written by sages and among them the very last of the prophets. uh these are prayers that in the themselves to have a special spiritual co of potential to them and there's an advantage to saying them in Hebrew even if we don't understand let me just explain this very very quickly which is you know and I know that the universe is made up of atoms and subatomic particles and electrons and protons that's what we know the universe is made of and that is true in the physical world but we also know that when the Torah describes creation it uses the metaphor of speaking. Hashem spoke and created. Let there be light, right? And there was light and so on. Now, obviously, when we say God spoke, it means something. It doesn't mean God's vocal cords like exhaled and sounds came out. It's it's a metaphor for God brought into being, whatever it means exactly, but it definitely God we're being told that part of the power of creation was using words through speaking in order to create the universe. Because in the metaphysical world, the world's not created just out of atoms and protons and neutrons and all of that. The world's created out of letters. The letters, the words of creation, they're actually part of creation themselves. That's the Jewish mystical thought. And so the sages and the prophets that still understood how to manipulate the letters in order to have an impact on the spiritual world, they help form those prayers like the weekday Amida. Um and therefore the ideal is for a person to say uh their prayers and understand them. But even if they don't, the prayers themselves have like a power. Um the and a person should say the regular estray and also their own private right you should freestyle ding also you should be able to like just whatever is on your mind talk to god as part of the prayer service uh that's the ideal these but for like this that you mentioned most of the that we have are written by inspired Jewish poets in the middle ages right they're they draw on illusion from the Tanakh from the Bible and they draw on different gamas sometimes and midashim but really they're written by inspired Jewish poets. Uh and there's something very nice about saying them in Hebrew because you're together with the congregation. But if it's like a really frustrating experience then absolutely you should take a look at the English and try and get a sense of what you're saying. Um different lesson I could >> What if somebody asks you Rabbi, do I have to say every word of every prayer? >> I I I'm not a fast enough reader myself to be able to say the words for everything before the khazin is ready to go on to the next thing. Like I can't I can't keep up, right? So I say all the things that I can and when the khazin's ready to go on to the next thing, so then I go on to the next thing unless like I just have a couple of lines left, then I try and finish the one that I was in. Um especially if I it's one where I kind of vibe with it. I know what's going on. Um the but >> so let's let's go there for a second. So let's say you're getting inspired by a certain prayer. >> Yeah. >> Be it in English or the Hebrew >> and the Kazin's already on like two or three more. Should I stop what I'm doing or should I like you said vibe with it and go with it and then end up skipping a couple? How bad is that? >> It's not bad to skip a couple. The only It's not bad at all. The only thing I would say is that when the kazin gets to the is the part where he's saying hashem and the congregation is saying that out loud that's like kadesh or kadusha that's something that a congregation says together. So you should pause where you are respond to that piece together with the congregation and then you can go back to the piece that you were doing. Um, so >> right, right. And last question for this evening is, why does God punish us for what we do? How could a little guy like me do anything that hurts or damages God, so to speak? >> So, I want to I want to challenge a premise of the question for a second. Um there are uh this is a question that I've gotten from teens that are typically um at first angry about something and then we can unpack this. They if a a student feels like something they're getting punished from God. So then you'll get this kind of a question. It's that's its own issue. But I want to share the following analogy just for a moment. Imagine that a person like was hired like you got someone gets their MBA. They get their first job, they come to work, and they're told, "Okay, welcome. You know, you're a starting position. You have to start with some of the grunt work." And you're like, "No, no worries. I'm ready to put in my time. You know, do what I have to. I have a lot to share. I want to help this company grow." And the guy's like, "Okay, the first thing you're doing is you're taking all of these numbers from these sheets and you're typing it into this computer program. That's what we need you to do." So, like the first I was like, "Okay, that's kind of not really what I have an MBA for, but I'm happy to do the data entry because you got to start somewhere, right?" And the first day he puts in all the numbers exactly the right way. He he he wasn't wasting time. There's other people in the office wasting time, but he's really cranking it out. And um the first week he does everything. He's the best employee there, right? But his boss, he never says anything to him, never notices him. No added boys, nothing. Like two weeks go by, no feedback from the boss at all. And then he's like, you know, why am I busting my chops here trying to do this? I see everyone else is like wasting their time. So he comes in 5 minutes late, 10 minutes late, he leaves 10 minutes early, he does a little bit less. And still the boss never says anything. No one. There's no feedback at all. He gets his paycheck, but like nothing. You know, how long could a person last at a job where they're an anonymous cog and they get none of feedback from the boss, right? I think not very long. Most of us thrive on knowing that what we're doing is important. It it matters. It makes a difference. The reason that Judaism is hung up on reward and punishment, like it's one of the 13 principles of faith, is that there's reward and punishment is because what we do matters, right? A human being, the physical body mixed with the divine soul has the ability to change things in this physical world and in the spiritual world also. The things we do, they matter. Reward and punishment is about saying you matter. You've made a difference, right? Not just not a human being can't hurt God. That the question is like false, right? But we can make a difference in the universe. And that's what reward and punishment is. It's about saying the things that you do, they have consequences. They have real consequences because they matter. And I think the um the the next part of that is that God doesn't punish people as a revenge. But our faith is that punishment when it comes is about cleansing. Is about helping a person either get to a greater reward or to become a better version of themselves. And I think we all experience this at times that we've had difficult moments in life and have been able to come out on the other side as changed, perfected, improved people. Not to say that that's easy or that we all would have chosen it on the front end. Um but we know that it's like through the struggle that is how we we grow. Um an athlete doesn't keep doing the same thing. They have to keep increasing the struggle in order to become great. And I think that that's part of this also. When Hashem knows there's more gas in the tank, we have more potential. We're not living up to what we could be. That's when corrections happen. And even in this world and the next world um punishment punishment is really about creating cleansing so that there could be reward or so we can earn more reward or so we can be closer to God in the end. >> Fantastic. Fantastic stuff. I appreciate the inspiration and I will share it with our listeners and I'm hoping Ra Marai that we could revisit this sometime after Yantiff and we can talk about other >> other important >> questions that you have covered in your book. Tell us again about the book Show the Cover if you don't mind. >> The the the second book, the most recent book is this questions you thought you couldn't ask. And if anyone's looking for a great book um for para, this goes in the order of the parote and asks questions that maybe you thought that weren't okay to ask about our great uh leaders and uh you know Moshe and Aaron like all all the people in the past maybe you thought those weren't okay questions to ask but frequently they're questions that the rishonin also asked. Um so this is the most recent book and um the first book was this questions obnoxious Jewish teenagers ask which is more about Jewish philosophy and a little hala um and it's really about a teenager's experience in this world and all the best. Thanks for the opportunity. Thanks so much. Byebye.