Watch Your Words - Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch

I had a couple company ones and they were just so unhappy they were just fighting so much from the minute they opened the door and sat in my couch for the minute they left they were always complaining what were they complaining about both the wife and the husband had a long list of complaints the wife is complaining that her husband came home from work very late at night and she felt alone she also constantly complained he didn't make make enough money and they could have gone vacations that they wanted to go on and the husband had many complaints about his wife he felt that she burnt the food she didn't take care of the children properly the children were addressed the house wasn't clean what was one of the biggest mistakes they are making they both believed that they could tell the spouse what they were thinking about in the mind the number one rule in marriages you can't tell your spouse everything to thinking about them if you do going to do tremendous damage to them and the second rule is that you need to watch the types of words your use and follow what i call the three two one principle the 31 principle means that you use three good words for every one not chosen word what does that mean make sure that every three words has a compliment something positive something nice you you need to say about your spouse and be very careful to limit the types of things we call criticism or even constructive criticism because a person deep down inside feels that is being criticized you don't really love them but watch your words carefully make sure you always keep the ratio three two one so if you be careful by not telling your spouse exactly what you're thinking all the time and only is positive words and ratios to the negative words I guarantee or happier marriage welcome to this new series and he's a brute called marriage matters my name is rabbi daniel chamba and on the license now and family therapist based in New York and around the world we affect on this important Syrians i will be answering your questions you have about marriage relationships dating parenting and about any issue during a family relationship but more than what I have to say I want to hear what you after day so please email to this address and send in your questions and I'll try to answer as many questions on the dl