Tisha B'Av: We Must Be One - Rabbi Yitzchok Oelbaum

[Music] Yukimura human daft as my basic mother tells us me play my horeb a hummock - nature how you serve is honestly no why was the base ominous destroyed because of Cena's keenum hatred we all know the jewish king his name was a cough ah who was a terrible russia but i'm you sir all never had as many victories that they had in war under the arena vassal and the question is why akka was a russia under him we want all those wars the most why and Liz did a powerful answer under a club Claudia straw was United we were united we were one we didn't fight didn't matter of he was Vardy Ashkenazi cuz CD keep us cool God didn't matter thereafter we were united and that's why we won every single war says women or whoever is called abraca Actos is what I Shem wants from us we have actors if we united we have the power of a Shem behind us we're on top of the world and a cos Michelle we don't have afters that power that we could have he's not here we don't realize it's strife is our key enemy and that's what took us from being on tap and ultimately that's what we lost today something does listeners powerful story there was a father who had nine kids before he's dying he's calls his kids in he says I want you all to come to me but I want you all to bring two sticks two sticks and they all lined up next to the father and he sees one kid he's a wanting to break one stick and he breaks it and the second kid break the next tick and so on and so forth and there's still nine sticks left cuz everyone that - and he tells them I wanted to put all the sticks together now I want you all to try to break it they couldn't break it and we're together when were unified we can't be broken and he looks at his kids and he says this is how you have to be united you have to be one you can't be broken and that was us in the Oscar we were united we were one the story goes memory Green says a story over he was he's a red bean she was shy of I actually spoke to Roberto Fuhrman who brings down the story in his saber turret Avalon and he told me the story is as real as it could get she's in New York we all know in New York the with the potholes we drive our car either our bumper gets punctured or our tire gets a hole there's always something but you'd almost like you're not even looking at the bottom anymore it's like okay I just know it is what it is well the time it comes to the least if you give the either you give it back the way it is or you find that cheap guys gonna little touch it up right she's going down the street and finally yeah he gets a bonus tire must him before ha there because he called triple-a I'm assuming so you calls triple-a he tells them listen I have a flat I need someone to come down he someone to help me out a Latino man shows up searches out of his hand he says hi sir my name is Danny what's the problem he tells him I have a flat tire and as a talking this latino man starts to talk and Yiddish looks at this guy he says are you Jewish this is no ma Jewish he says so where do you pick up from v that stars are you - what do you speak this is you talking that point from or you know you speak Spanish no where'd you get the others from she's never tell you a story he says I'm retired and why beat the officer retired and they used to call me to be the bodyguard of one of your buddies says who's your buddy who's my buddy he says rabbi Joel Teitelbaum since with a great sound or ever says yeah the aden burmese offer i was his bodyguard said what do you mean tell me more he said where they had a Tish and they had to get together I would put on a beard and pace Spanish guy saying this story's verified I would stand behind the rabbi like this and I look around the crowd there's thousands of people in the crowd I wanna make sure no one's making trouble my Greene says how do you know who's a troublemaker he says I'll tell you first art is very simple you Jews are very learning people you're all bent over like this because you already give my all day so the guys were bent over I knew they were good it was the guys who stood tall like this I knew there could be troublemakers either from a different sect or they don't learn as much they don't learn as much they could be troublemakers you want to get to the rabbi do you want to kiss his head so that's how I was able to tell who was who okay and then this lets you know man asked rabbi green I'm an interesting question do you know what a Yiddish a cup is are you this your cup right Jewish ad so rabbi Green says yes I know where to either shack up is so then Danny this latino man becomes very serious he's I heard you guys used to live in Israel and you had a temple is that true he says yes I also heard that 2000 years ago you guys were exiled is that true again I took going say Gentile saying this now my Greene says yes I also heard that the reason why you were exiled is because you guys didn't get along is that true he says yes and then he says I also heard if you guys would only get along you would have the temple back is that correct and there's a my green is startled he says yes as Latino man says where's your Yiddish shook up you can't get it together you can't have peace you can't get along nettie of mine where'd you get this your cup quiet no answer and I want to ask us here tonight why can't we get along where is our Yiddish a cup that mother that said something toss that were upset at when I talking to her that's friend that did something to us when I talking to her that brother that did something but we're not talking to them do you know how much strength it takes to be upset at somebody takes a lot of clothes let's picture the scene you have someone you don't talk to you you go to a wedding they're right on your table you're going to restaurant there in the corner table you're gonna Florida the right there with you it on the board agonda beach and when you're deal with them the ear is so thick it's so uncomfortable you always want to jump out of the restaurant but you can't cuz I'm bigger than him and I can't show them who's boss right am I gonna leave so why in the world can't we make peace why can't we make Shalom one will bring the Gullah and number two that will make our life so much easier so much mortgage schmuck so what is it about us people and we rather fight and have aquas nefesh then lower ourselves for a minute maybe an hour and say I'm sorry or just don't make some wonder my feelings I move on in life what's the big deal you heard me move on a life no no I'd rather hold it in I'm mad I'm gonna show him who's boss I'm not gonna talk to him up why it's so much easier just to give in I'm sorry Saima move on for some reason there's something that we have that we rather that's what it seems like we rather be upset and I'm on bus nephesh then just say I'm sorry and move on it doesn't make any sense what is the shot how do we work on it the answer I believe it's Gaia for some reason we rather feel big than enjoy life which if you think about it doesn't make any sense I'm gonna say it again rear a the feel big then enjoy life we're is argued Ishika even Danny the Gentile understood where are we are we sleeping we're just hurting ourselves what can we do to change the way we think what can we do I'm gonna roll on it together doesn't make any sense we rather be upset at somebody that enjoy life because think about it we see them the air is thick we've got a shul there there just get over it what do you want why why can we just get over it what is it what is it it's much harder to be upset than just to give it a move on listen to this story there's a rabbinic convention and they placed him with a crowd they didn't place them on the head table he was upset he comes over to the Events Coordinator he says you know honey enough I belonged to sit on the head table not with the crowd so the events coordinator says yeah sure no problem but can I ask you one question not about hours to come over to me if they say you want to sit at the head table seriously I'm gonna put you there you actually belong there but you're not embarrassed to ask me to say I want to be on the head table I just want to understand your thought process and the rabbi tells him he says it was embarrassing but it's much more embarrassing for me to sit in the crowd what everyone's looking at me then I'm that shine to eat sitting in the crowd I belong to the head table I rather have one minute of agamous nefesh one minute of embarrassment you what I'm telling you I want to sit in the head table that's it finished now one second of embarrassment will save me it's gonna make me feel better so it's good I to give up that one second if we could stop and think for a minute if I say I'm sorry now but just ignore that act that someone did to me and I know we want to get in that last line cuz it feels good that last I'm gonna get it remember what that last line could do ultimately that last line will have that person I'll talk to you just give that by you got me who cares thanks so much more strength to be upset than to be happy we have that outlook we so much happier in life think about it imagine going to a wedding with that thick here not there it just follows you so I know what people are gonna say I have no problem with that person it's him that doesn't want to talk to me it's not me really I'm friends with her she's gonna talk to me my father I love him there's want to talk to me my friend and sure he does want to talk to me I would talk to that person what's the eights are for that H is very simple you're gonna be strong I guarantee you it works you go over to that person you know pat in the back Travis how are you it's gonna ignore you the first time within 3-4 weeks and say you Chavez back to you because ultimately he's gonna feel stupid everyone sees him come and Saiga Travis you're not gonna answer me are you crazy I'm being not what are you ignoring me for what they will do that would help I get the shack up there will buy us years of a life with no add massage but I'll also bring the Googler fish above we all want to do something extra special make that dreadful phone call doesn't cost money to make someone feel good I always say can't tell someone Wow such a nice thing you did that person doesn't talk to you pick up the phone say I'm sorry I you're not a fault who cares I'd buy that fish or just get over it we have that outlook it will save us so much pain so much pain it will save us and our life would be so much easier so much more cash Maki we'll live life you know the Kamal Hassan Hedren Cova da I'm amazed the Gemara asks a question we all read ASA and anchor the first paragraph all the paragraphs the sukham start in alphabetical order I'll have bet gimel dalet hey and so on but if you look in Chapter two three and four the pay is before the iron first chapter everything straight second third fourth everything straight except the pay is before the iron we know it's find pay not pay I what is the reason how do we understand that think more ask the question we know that mouth means pet word pet right and what's the word for eyes iron or onion I can't say it guys right I am right words for eyes iron the Marat glim put their path before their ayan they spoke before seeing the whole picture they spoke before seeing the whole picture and that's why you're me oh and writing a song the first parrot cured everything straight to show us this is the right way then after that he changed the painting the iron to show us that they saw they spoke before seeing and that's something you can't do we can't speak before seeing the entire picture and there's also a connection between the Moraga l'm in the corbin what is the punishment for speaking loshon Hara my speak bad about somebody Shiraz will cause boils right for us if you looked at Tyra tells us who would have proclaimed somebody if he asked her ass the claim the cordon was the one that were proclaimed so on and he's trust nobody else just Acosta Rashi explains over there but if somebody has to Ross who would say it the Korean and I gin teresting to note that if you look at the Rambam a cut done and a show to Korean is able to proclaim that somebody has to Rus to hear this I caught on someone who is not about he over someone is not as the age right under 13 right soul is under 13 if he's a coin he's able to proclaim that somebody has to Rus usually have to be a goblin right over 13 just to show you the strength of a cotton they were my colleague mark tells us that if a hassan is a middle of Sheva Broca's we will not tell the coin to proclaim him it yester us because you know you have to go out of the house you have to go to the mosque now you have to go to your own little territory if he's in middle of shadow brothers we don't want to hurt him so at all the coin do not proclaim this guy as terrassa visa cousin we don't want to kill a simpler just to show you the clip of what the kyon had but interesting to note him he tells us in Sanhedrin that are blind : a kind that cannot see he may not proclaim that someone has to Russ and the question is why the kind blind okay but he's a God he's over 13 he's about heals didn't we just say before that a cut on someone who's underage is able to do it so so let's underage was able to do it and I shot the sodas out 100 cents all a client you know what is able to proclaim that so Nestor ass so the sure acclaimed Summa he's a doddle everything's fine you just can't see why can't he proclaimed someone asked her us very good so I'll tell you I'll tell you what's there and I'll proclaim it says the taller ever what is the message when a coin proclaims so nests are us then he sees the whole picture he sees you have Taurasi understands that something happened that they did something wrong a consumer can't see it's giving over the wrong message I'm gonna say you have tarascus someone told me loshon Hara you have I should proclaim because Ruby told me something I can't do that you can't do that and that's why I couldn't sumo cannot do it the message is the client is giving you half to see the whole picture it's I in you have to see everything before to pay don't speak you got to see the whole picture don't judge you don't know the story goes was a couple rocks monoliths on for years they don't have kids didn't have kids unfortunately they went to doctors they went to every single organization nothing doing so he figures in no way he's in a foxhole who know hiya Hassid you want that happen she goes to her ever he says rabbi he says I don't have kids I tried everything please give me a broker something please the rabbit tells them calm rosh hashanah to my shul whoever gets him after on Rosh Hashanah will have a baby okay we'll call this guy roving roommate from you shall i and he goes to buy a rock or a Shoshanna a lot of people in the shul and he meets someone will call him Shimon he meets shipment me Shimon were you from I need you I need me safer okay why are you here said I don't have kids for a long time and the rabbit told me that if I come here fresh Michonne I get them off to have a baby and Rubens thinking oh my gosh that's what their ever told me how they both could have after what's going on over here keeps his mouth shut next day he dive in somewhere else nine months later roofing had a baby I don't know what happened to the person that I'm after I don't know but a roommate the one who walked away he had a kid nine months later why I saw the whole picture before speaking he figured there must have been a mistake he could have been upset I left my family for Shoshana I came to the shul and this was the rabbit does know must've been a mistake I don't know what happened maybe this is part of the rebus coach - is a special lab on your land I don't know pretty sort of a picture he has to be done the cops closed but ten kids know for ten years no kids and what happened yeah kids we're all sitting here a morning the great loss or the Masonic douche the Gemara kindness I'm gonna love babies the camera tells us comas about you shall I am is no use of the ribosome Casa whoever mourns the loss of the great temple will be ziko to see the rebuilding of it and cast a psalm those who don't mourn at the governor says won't be safe at the cereal building of the temple after ablated by ditch if i don't understand what does this mean you have somebody that does meets what he learns he helps people but he doesn't more the temple does everything right he won't be zojja to see Michiana he's doing everything right you understand that he does everything right everything smoker he learns so he didn't mourn he's not to be able to see the temple how do we understand the kymaro says I blame Aditya let's try to picture life with the base I make gosh it's one second let's close our eyes try to picture it was a place with a sheen arrested the whole world felt the kedusha all over H Easter all we felt Tichina we felt the presence of a Kurdish bar who ultimately this led us to feel very close to him we actually draw well the clay Harlan performed by a very that will be cleansed we will not have eros anymore we pure pure people know since the sinking of the Laveen they were sit there they were saying it was filled with wisdom and rule ha kodesh the closest that we felt hashem was unreal let's put on the stand for one second that closeness I think the climax adhere for all of us Yom Kippur when we finished that fast when we finished that modest there's something in us that we feel we're feel we're gonna have a good year after da burning old day we're fasting we feel great this is gonna be the year this is the year we feel compassion after a whole day of Evita we're Dominique we're crying we're trying hard imagine that feeling 5,000 times more that's a class all felt when there was a vase I make Dutch says herb lady someone a dozen mourn over the Corbin means everything he does is robotic his actions are not for the purpose of getting close now him because if he did love Hashem how can he not at least try try to mourn the temple and that's why I come establish a line is always a variety tsimko so if you don't mourn it I don't give did everything right its robotic you're not doing me to get close to a sham then you won't be so good to see it let's stop for one second and just think what a great loss is is we're also a tribe with some clothes on the British commercial commissioner his name is Sir Herbert Samuel he wanted to meet the great rabbi who shall I am by then the rabbi was I've got some crimes on it felt great going and asking him knew that the head of the British is coming to see the great rabbi and they had a problem they came to their other sick father I love you live in a basement in a shack we know you don't want to move out but it doesn't pass the head of British command is gonna see the great rabbi in the world is living in a shack we can't do that rabbi said no I'm not moving this is my home I'm happy I chose his home it's too bad but if you want you could put a nice tablecloth on the table that's what the rabbit tells the cowboy so the people put a nice table go over the table you can make it look presentable but I'm not moving out of my house his house had one window though whoa hello no kudzu one window so commander comes in and you can imagine you have to go down a few steps literally like a dungeon and he looks at the rabbi and he says something that we all would say what's up what's going on over here the biggest rabbi for the Jews this is how they treat you you're living in this little shack mara says no no no no no no no no you see that window he says yeah so what do you see over there so he goes me sees he says I see the Hat I buy it I see the hora bias and if some time turned to him and says that was our temple from that one window he had that was our temple that's God's house it's in total ruins if God still has no house if he has no temple then I don't need a nicer home then I'll shine either that's what he told us this commander if our chef doesn't have it at home then I don't need a nice home those are his words did his British commander do we really want the goolah 'du we feel the loss of the Corbin sometimes we do you know when something happens we say oh we need we need mushy that's like the only half a time you feel during the air something happens we don't even mean it which is like we were not parents a and their the grandparents said oh yeah you know but then I got a second later we just like bug out let me forget about everything if you don't think about our pain if we don't think about the pain of Michelle Hashem sauce on top God sauce we were on top can you imagine the pain of Hashem now he sees round godless he doesn't want to sing goes oh he's not sure my him he's our Father he wants us to enjoy life he wants us to have to make some big gush but what are we doing what are we doing to bring it I'm gonna say it again make that phone call I'm gonna conclude with the story I met this wealthy man he tells me as a problem someone so doesn't talk to him it's ok so what's the big deal she just heard the schmooze just go home with him so he tells me says so much doesn't talk to me I said ok so go over to that person your main yeah big time of pain I can't move forward just go over to him Sam sorry just move on what's the big deal so no no no no I need give here I have a lot of money I can't learn myself I said city is your problem so stay nod was nefesh I told let me tell you my sir let me tell you a story there's two people roofing had a lot of money I'm gonna call me Michelle his name was you heal you here was going from house to house that he knew that Ruben gives a lot of sadaqa Lou Bega's Onitsuka she's walking in front of Rubens house he's knocking there's no answer but he sees that Ruben is on the porch so he did it was he had a lot of shekels he's not shaking his jacket you know I can truly go right he's not shaking his coins he figures moving will look down and I'll see that he's there I want to get the money and Ruby tells you deal so I'm sorry but you have to wait a few moments because I'm in the middle of calculating how much money I have it's a ruby toes you feel and I can't stop in the middle because I might lose my husband Charlie if I stop a middle I'm gonna lose the edge but I can't do it see if he'll thought himself that's a good idea I'm also gonna count my money so the Michoud sits down in front he starts counting his money he's counting one proof to prove two three proof was he got a template is so Rueda covere commented in a teasing way he says why are you counting your money is it because you want to see how much you're missing in order to reach my amount you want to see how much money you're missing and if he'll turns white for a second but then he came to his senses and he replies no that I already determined how much money is missing between you and I Rumi says really what is that number Reuben says the number is 10 is the hula I actually feel Donny says the number difference to you and I is 10 zero and that's how much I'm missing and Reuben looks at him yeah your mind difference is 10 to Hooven the 10 bucks seat higher more than you he's taking either does he feel is a covere he's a wealthy man that's playing like he's a poor person or he's just out of his mind she looks see if he'll he says you had of your mind he's like what do you mean what are you talking about and he'll said I would gladly tell you I asked an undertaker and he told me they're only two grades of talk with him what stock reason when someone dies they bury him certain type of materials I asked somebody kind of conditionally two types of talk with him the difference in the two is tends over a wealthy man gets the nice one it costs ten bucks and mine cost a dollar that is the only difference between your money and my money says you've healed to Ruthie and I told this to that give here it was quiet I don't know he was able to say I'm sorry but if he wasn't he's an idiot Tan's illumine you're not being buried with the money it's going nowhere I like to conclude with the word that a kid to Chikara and he speaks the purse speaks about the purpose of a fasting and listen to this because all fasting he says the acre of a fast H to awaken our heart and to repent the IKAR is not the fasting here's the point of us fasting the main thing is not to fast the main thing is to awaken our heart the main thing is to repent that's the main thing and the rise and say for your night says when God saw there lays it doesn't say I saw their sack cloth and he saw us fasting it doesn't say that it says God saw their ways what ways they did chuhwa doesn't say they were fasting and then wearing their sack cool it's not what it says it says in God saw their ways what were their ways they did travaux again remember to be upset his optimist nefesh we just went through that whole schmooze isn't it easier just to give in I'm sorry and move on in life what's the big deal we're boiling life my broccoli is in the schools that we do this will be United there won't be much Lakers but we saw the power that we had by alcohol we were united that's what you want every single Mahama where that will be later to be Makabe chefs with Cana parameter I mean [Music] you [Applause]