Tips & Tools for Turbulent Times - Rabbi Ephraim Eliyahu Shapiro

[Music] tonight my AA the one that's hosting me both uh in general and specifically in general I'm grateful to my a more than a dozen organizations more than a dozen organizations from the faraka the five towns from the Queens area that offer services to help CLA I'm grateful to you for being my AK and as you heard the fact that more than a dozen organizations came together is a very big deal that shouldn't be lost on anyone but specifically my a would be the hundreds that came out tonight and as you just heard hopefully to gather tips and tools to be inspired and perhaps even become better people so to my a in general the organizations to my host specifically every individual in this room I feel as if you're hosting me tonight and for that I have tremendous tremendous hakar to be in the presence of the I I say did you know what an honor that is to be able to say those words about the madita it's a very big covered for me and to have just been introduced by my cousin the only correction I would uh make on your words you know how much I love you bar it's uh where cousins were like Brothers the only correction I would make on your words you said that myus is not the fact that I'm related to the B to a very large degree it is and so I'm grateful to my cousin brother for bringing me in together with all of the organizations the word on the flyer was very specific people are facing personal obstacles family challenges there are Community tragedies and calamities and devastating world events what do we do so I'd like to suggest four different things tonight practically tangibly pragmatically that you could take with you because there are people that are suffering as we just said both personally within the [Music] community and Claus all around the world number one to borrow the words that we say in the which means we say it before rashash and during the time between the it says hasem says come now let us reason together let us gather together if your sins were stained like a deep Crimson now they're like a pearly white now the question's obvious I didn't do anything yet what do you mean the sh says if your a were deep and stained now they're white like a pure snow what do you mean I don't see what did I do like where are all those steps about the things that I need to do did you not hear the first few words says Hashem the first three words that the re says come together and season come together and listen you mean that's the ticket yes says before a person could decide on tips and tools before a person decides what they can do the first thing to tell yourself tonight I'll say it to myself and I'll say it a bit louder for The Hundreds to listen Hashem says [Music] just come together listen reason together and realize that something needs to be done and the says that my friends believe it or not is step one but people are waiting let me hear the sh himself said you see there are some people who don't get it there are some people who hear news and they're oblivious okay that happened to them we know there's the famous story about the uh taxi driver in erit is non-religious taxi driver who was taking the M lein and he sawat and he recounted a fabulous Story how he and a number of friends a year years earlier none of them were religious and one night they were camping in some Wilderness and in the tent in the middle of the night they woke up because they saw that a large snake a Bok constrictor wrapped itself around the friend and was literally squeezing the friend to death and the non-religious person who was seconds away from Death remembered I know what you do in this situation you say and that's exactly what he did and at that moment the snake undid itself and slithered away and his life was saved miraculously and he tells rat and my friend's life was changed he went back he became diti he became religious he went to Yeshiva and today his family is all religious and ratal turned to the non-religious taxi driver and said no and what's with you so he looked at and said no you don't understand the snake was around his neck not my neck yes there are plenty of people who will hear and I'm sorry to say this my father har shap used to speak about it what right does any person have to listen to its SAR and then continue the next bite of their meal there are people who do that no it happens to him it didn't happen to me it happened in that Community not mine it happened down the block it's not me it happened there not here the first thing I'm telling you is that clearly in farak and the five towns and in Queens you people get it and I'm not saying that to wax poetic tonight's not a night of being warm and fuzzy tonight's the real deal step number one people came together tonight to say what can we do so I'm not telling you that as the intro to my talk that is tip number one I didn't say it the said it if you want that your are no longer stained but cleaned a pearly white step number one realize you got to do something come together and reason and that and of itself is a ginormous First Step number two there's a mishna in pericu gim Mish that speaks about many animals that if you would make a vessel out of their skin it would be tah in other words it wouldn't convey impurity there's one exception from the sea animals you know what that is K Mayim K Mayim is is a seal or a sea otter that's the only exception if you make something from its skin or its bones it will give off and convey impurity but why it's a sea animal so the mishna says because it runs to dry land and the commentar say what do you mean it runs to dry land like I'm from Florida but I'm sure plenty of you know about seals and sea lions and sea dogs and sea outters you didn't need me to tell you they live in the sea not on dry land so the commentaries tell us you're right but when they're being chased and they're under attack they run to the dry land in other words when somebody wants to capture the seal it runs to the dry land hence it has a status of a dry land animal that tells a rashash rter z says what 99% of its life it's in the sea in the water on the rare occasion that it's being chased it goes to the dry land so you give it the status of a dry land animal because that's where it goes when it's being chased 0.1% of the time yes says R gifter because where you go under pressure and how you do Under Pressure tells me who you are and what you aren't no one's Essence is defined by the things that are second nature oh it's great that you do those things so well but if there's second nature to you that tells me very little about you says a personality no less than of gifter a sea lion has a status and an appellation of a land animal you want to know why I you'll tell me it rarely ever goes there but when it's being chased and when the fire is on and when the heat is on that's where it goes where you run and how you do Under Pressure tells me a lot about you when we hear the uh sar from our neighbor down the block from someone in a neighboring Community someone young is ill someone young passes away children having a hard time when you think you can't hear a tragedy that's worse than the one before how do you respond how you do when a situation is easy tells me virtually nothing about you sayra gifter your title and your essence is like the sea lion how do you do on Under Pressure do you make changes and by the way might I add something I said a little while ago here in the five towns but subsequently saw the flip side of it and this shot is so delicious M raenu the name says enough there are many names that Misha Abu could have had and yet he's given the name Misha why I saw this brought down from the V you know that there are three times that Misha couldn't um see an image of something it was difficult as Rashi says so he was shown an image by Hashem what were those three things the Mana theim and the Moes RAB what's the first letter of those three words a is a shin Andes is a he mea's name how you do in a difficult situation is your essence now if it worked for Misha raenu what about us and take a look by the way at the last letters what's the last letter of is a Mees is a shin and Mina is a he the last letters are also MAA because the true sign of who you are is how you do in the beginning of a situation the middle and the end oh the minute that I hear what happened to someone I'm shaken to the core how about a week later how about two months later do you even remember who suffered the Sarah they do do you M's Essence his name is Misha for the M he is the first letter of in both directions how we do when we hear news the changes that we make especially on those things that aren't so easy tells me who we are now if you read the write up about tonight one thing I noticed it said each organization felt perhaps this is the Calamity that should be discussed this is the tragedy that's most prominent and prevalent and all the organizations realized that there isn't any one but all of them need to be addressed and so following more than 12 organizations I realized I'm not going to tell you one particular thing that I a FR alio Shapiro and You by extension who are listening need to change what I can say to myself is that when events are taking a place taking place and as I understand speaking to my cousin and to others very very extraordinarily difficult in farak and the five towns and queens tragedy and sorrow one after another how about eral do you realize that the last few months people wake up a away that they've never woken up before you know what the first question we ask each other is in the morning after M any stabbings today now that is not the that's become the normus yesterday there were five stabbings any stabbings today we can barely imagine what it's like that that's the first question out of our mouth every morning what about for those who live in ER and live it so I cannot tell you one particular area but I can tell you what I told my kahila last week if you do come together as we did last week then pick something the biggest shame would be the biggest BR would be forgive me if that's too strong is if someone came and didn't pick something perhaps I need to improve Inus perhaps I need to improve inir shabas maybe I need to improve inir how about that maybe I need to improve in kadas B tap on the list no talking during doing and certainly not cell phones ringing off the hook maybe I need to improve in my shom bias am I treating my spouse like the spouse deserves to be treated and certainly how am I doing in my li My connection to learning sh and revering our all I did just now in the last 60 seconds was give you a checklist you can take it home and decide shab but pick something everybody needs to and quite honestly rabai if not now then when and just to conclude suggestion and tip number two I just heard this in the name of Rea AAR what aot Rea AAR Wonders that our most prestigious name is the name Israel now why are we called Israel because when yako fought with the angel of asov karisa he fought oh you fought you fought sisa I'll give you the name Isel am I missing something I think that P concludes you fought oh yeah listen to that last word you won why in the world would our name be Isa because we fought isn't that like missing the most important thing shouldn't our name be I know you say it sounds funny it wouldn't if that would be our name then y would sound funny people listen to me the last word of the is we won shouldn't my name be we are we won you call me cuz I fought not cuz I won says that pierces the heart nowhere does it say that a Jew's job is to win your job is to fight your job is to try your job is to rise up to the challenge and to see how good you can do whether you win or not whether you're successful or not you don't decide God decides you are not called because winning is not our end all be all that's not a yisha concept you're called is karisa you fought you persevered you tried you made an effort whether you're successful or not the Reb will decide but just try so my humble tip and tool for turbulent times number two is pick something from our short checklist but if a person doesn't pick something and as we said a moment go don't pick the thing that's second nature to you and easy that's not what gave mha the name Misha as we said the first and last letter spelles and as ra gifter said what defines your essence like the seal and SE Li in is how you do Under Pressure number one we've come together to reason and the says to the five towns communities you people got it cuz unfortunately men don't many say that was him not me see that happened in a different zip code not mine suggestion number two pick something and work on it work on it for the neighbor down the block who suffered a tragedy an illness a death a child are having a hard time with you owe it to them suggestion number three how AO tonight is that means in two weeks we have the privilege of celebrating purm may we celebrate it in Yim this year that's a convenient time to say amain Hon is described as now literally means the antagonist the Nemesis of the Jews there aat that I saw a number of people bring down and in my opinion this is mish a keeper Yes means he's our antagonist you know what else it means the word is from the word litor litor means to bundle together when a h Rises up against us we come together and we must unite hon didn't exist just then today the name has changed but it's still there and yes nebuch as we said here and in other places there have been unspeakable tragedies you know what the re says when those things happen here's tip number three you have to gather together let me tell you a little secret nobody can do it on their own and if they tell you they can translate it that they're screaming for help the BL of went through the a number of camps and the BLB in one of the camps the Nazis Yak said dig a very deep pit large pit maybe 20 30 feet and jump across it and if you don't then you'll take a bullet and die in the pit now who in the world could make it across such a humongous pit a f friend said to the blush of a Reba rebba they're making a joke out of us no one can jump a 20 30 foot pit let's go to the edge of the pit and take a bullet and let them end our lives and the BL of rebba turned to his friend and said if the sh says we must jump then jump we will and if we don't make it as I said a moment ago Kisa we must try if we're not successful then there end all life there but try we must they walk to the edge of the pit and the BL of Reb says I'm going to count to three close your eyes and jump 1 two 3 jump they open up their eyes and miraculously they're on the other side of the pit the friend yells blusher Reb we did it we're alive how did we do it rebba how did you make it to this side to the pit and he says I closed my eyes and I held on to the coattails of my Z and my Ela Zeda I held on to their coattails and holding on to their coattails I made it across he turns to his friend and said but you how'd you make it across and he says BL I held on to your coattails and that's how I'm here now let me tell you something I told my kahila Now's the Time to hold on to people's coattails if more than a dozen Community organizations came together that offer their services it's because they're telling you hold on to each other's coattails don't let anybody tell you that I could make it through something on my own it ain't true the BL ofb is telling us that tip and Tool number three is you got to do it together leave here tonight and tell somebody not somebody that it's easy to say it to saying it to somebody who is exactly like you you come from myle we have the same milu we D in the same sh in fact our hav is the same that's not uniting that's cloning I need to hold on to your coattails you get it and you need to hold on to mine on our own we don't have the ability to do it if you would like just for perhaps 90 seconds one of the most stunning gatria you can ever hear in your sojourn in this world that ties tool number three together we know that we were given 613 mitz two were given straight by the 611 gave us can I ask you something of the 611 if you lived on an island by yourself in a city all alone how many of the 611 could you do on your own how many do you think you could do on your own of the 611 you know what the answer is 60 I think 60 is about 10% of 611 I mean getting a 10 on the test is pretty bad I think the only one who does worse is the TSA I think last time they were checked 70 bombs 67 made it through undetected huh the sh is protecting the world of the 6 11 I can only do 60 how many does that mean I need you for 551 the remaining amount I need the K I need theim I need the isim I need the women I need children I need to live in ER Isel for 551 I can't do it without holding on to your coils every morning inak we [Music] say listen to a that's brought down in the by to is spelled t as the gatria 61u gave us how do you spell the word me sh it has the exact gatria of 551 Mayha for 551 you got to be ail because on your own you could do 60 and nobody wants to get a 10 on the test but for 551 tip number three hold on to each other's coattails and don't let go I'd like to just conclude tip number three with a story that happened in number of years ago involving a yunga man in the mere New York this yunga man was a kenberg kid his H mother was off the charts when he started to miss s they realized he's ill he was diagnosed the Yeshiva was devastated he was particularly close to Blazer Ginsburg Razer Ginsburg would visit him from time to time please I'm asking the men and women like open your heart to this MSA Razer Ginsburg went to visit this kusenberger kid he was critically ill in the hospital in fact after the visit he died two days later you hear how ill he was he died 48 hours later Razer Ginsburg walks into the kenberg and the kenberg says to him rebi you know there's an older girl I was thinking about this and this person for what do you think and her blazer Ginsburg says what you're going through what you're going through and you have on your mind to sh for an older older girl how do you do that you're going what you're going through you think how do you do that so he answered based on on the bottom you'll hear this once in your life I assure you you'll never forget it the says even if there's a sharp sword on the edge of your neck don't stop asking for now that my friends was the literal translation I'll say it again even if there's a sharp sword at the edge of your neck don't stop asking Hashem for forgiveness don't stop asking Hashem to have compassion on you he turns to a Blazer Ginsburg and says rebi you want to know how I could think about that girl mind you it was two days before he died because I read the gimar differently maybe Hashem is saying even if a person has a sword at the edge of his neck meaning he's going through a tragedy and a Calamity it doesn't absolve them from showing rim to another person he told his rebi nowhere does it say that because I'm going through what I'm going through I'm absolved and I'm off the hook from helping another yid and that's how I could have her on my mind two days early two days days before he died we're not absolved from helping someone else so to conclude suggestion number three for 90% success in life we need each other hold on to coils and never let go you know what it means to the person when you call them or visit them or something as small as a nice comment months later I had mentioned to my dear cousin uh a little while ago we spoke that the reason that was the worst plague of all because people were alone and when you go through something alone it's the most miserable feeling and I'd like to tell you one thing before we go on to the fourth and final one I was just in a particular City I'm not going to say the city and on a m shab's Gathering I said to and we said it strongly with passion and a certain person came over to you I'm obviously not going to mention the name or get very specific but he starts to tell me I want you to know something my life is and he fills in all the things going wrong in his life and it was a long list and I thought he was going to say to me you know it was hard to hear that shot about when I'm going through what I'm going through I was sure he was going to say that and honest to goodness he turns to me and said I'm so happy you said that shot because I was always feeling sorry for myself and I was always feeling like look at all the things that are going wrong but tonight you're telling me it doesn't absolve you from turning to someone else and saying I am there for you he said thank you you changed my life he literally told me how despondent he was he lived with angst because he felt if life is so bad what is his worth you know what his worth is help somebody else that's suggestion number three as a seor hold on to coattails and when you hear somebody's going through something even if you're not having a day that's all that make sure you do something for them and finally number four perhaps the best way to introduce the last tip for turbulent times I can't say it the said it wow it was the dark days of the Holocaust the Nazis were marching into it was before PES they gathered underground to get ready for PES and the turned and said to the the Nazis are Marching In what can you tell us before pesak give us they essentially asked give us tips and tools for turbulent times that's what they asked and he said I'll tell you the answer here is the ticket in the before man it says now you're here you're about to go to theer asked hisid why in the world is the hag telling me I'm here I need to tell me where I am I know now I'm in the white sh I know what I'm in North Miami Beach it's like we used to go to a mall and there would be a little star you are here I need the to tell me that I'm here said that's not what it's saying it means now we are still here and if we are still here after inquisitions and expulsions and aat and a holocaust if we are still here said the then you can believe but you gotta believe we are still here you know it's inexplicable it doesn't make any sense mathematically the permutations and computations we shouldn't be here could you please explain to me how we seem to bounce back with the resiliency stronger and better can you explain it the and it's the same thing tonight here when you gather in the five towns the people who suffer from a personal tragedy a communal tragedy a world and Global tragedy they still tell the we are still here and if you're still here I believe I'm a minman I will DAV I will persevere I'll have an inexplicable resiliency and I'll see you in yam my father's buried in eritel every year I go to his cave on his yard site a year and a half ago when I went it was a Tuesday in November by the time I landed the world was changed forever it was the Tuesday of the harof massacre parenthetically to the one who says like is seven eight minutes such a big deal yeah the world was changed in 7 minutes on that Tuesday morning there's a world preh harof Massacre and post harof massacre in fact my entire speaking schedule was changed while I was still in the air simply because schools and seminaries wanted you know what CLA went through and they were still there the next night there was something in UL they expected a few hundred women when it reached 1,200 women they had a lock the door the next night thousands listened on inspired by wire you know why because people wanted to hold on to each other's coiles we're still here I was given a tour of the Sho I was with Rabbi Rubin I went up and down the street to the four families Yim Alman four almanis more than 20 Yim you know what if you were there you don't need to hear a word from me and if you weren't there then there's nothing I could say that will explain it but one thing I can tell you a bit after the massacre and that sh there was a bris the secular media went over to the grandfather of the baby and said how could you make a bris in the sh just now it flowed with blood blood was flowing on the floor and now your grandson has a bris in the sh how could you as a grandfather and and he turns to the secular media and he says I'll answer your question during the World War second world war rebelo mayor BL the T rash rebelo mayor BL was in America raising funds and then it happened his wife his children his talim his Yesa tells the L gone they came to ttim he was in the middle of writing Tyra instead of breaking down and sobbing uncontrollably he finished writing a very well-known stickle and in the stickle he explained people may wonder why I didn't Sab uncontrollably when I heard I don't have a wife I don't have children I don't have Tam I don't have there's no more tells the L he says I'll tell you why because that's what they want they want that one should stop and they want to break us we will bounce back we will persevere we will have an inexplicable resilience Y and that's why I'm continuing to write thisle Tyra without interruption when he finished writing it when reel BL finished writing it he broke down crying the grandfather of the boy turned to the secular media and said you want to know how my grandson could have his bris in the Shool I'm the grandfather from one side the great grandfather from the other side the boy's great-grandfather from the other you know who he is rebell may you know what we just named my an at this bris ELO mayor after the ELA you people still have any questions you could make a bris in the sh because of have a resiliency we are still here we and a great-grandson of hero mayor BL could be in that sh with that name after the Z who said we shall continue suggestion number one something needed to be done y to this entire magnificent for suggestion number two pick something from the list something that's a bit hard for you and not try but don't let it be aala without picking anything suggest question number three hold on to each other's coils for the one who suffer the personal tragedy the communal Calamity the global tarah hold on to coiles you're not absolved from helping another person and suggestion number four we are still here we forge on we are still here we have the ability to have a grandson named ELO mayor after the Tsar rasa because he said they will not break us you can't explain it but one thing you could hope I want to conclude with one story and one BR and that's it perhaps the story that best describes tonight tips and tools for turbulent times is a well-known story that happened in aitz this past summer when I was privileged to lead a tour and I was in aitz I set over this well-known story a few years after the war in ER posters went up that a man was making a Onan a relatively small mea yet he was making a gum they didn't even know that he particularly knew how to learn learning was so difficult for him you're making a sud and a like a wedding it wasn't that you finish it's a relatively small he makes the seeum on the last few lines the words of arama come very difficult to him he says the kades and then they surround him what was with that clearly the words are very difficult for you you weren't so familiar with them but cut them a small why did you make on such a like it would be a wedding and he said I went through aitz and I lost my family people walked around aitz mumbling to themselves some unfortunately lost their mind went Delirious on top of me in the bunk on the bed slept a man who also mumbled to himself one night I hear that he's sobbing I asked him why he's sobbing and he said I also lost my family like you and I know you see me mumbling a lot and you probably think that I have lost my mind and I'm just mumbling my friend that's not the case I was privileged in my youth to learn gimar I knew M when you see me mumbling I am saying gimar word by word line by line do by do peric by peric m by B I'll tell you why I'm crying I'm up to Mayon D and tonight I'm leaving this world and I'm leaving this world and I didn't finish Myan I'm leaving this world with an unfinished M I tried to tell the man you're not leaving this world don't speak like that and he said I am believe me tonight's my last night and then he made me tell him I would finish and I said I'll try and then he said no don't try promise me you'll finish my promise me you'll finish my M and I looked at him and I said to him I will I promise I'll finish your M for you with that reassurance the man closed his eyes said sha and died I was never much of a learner Goro was difficult for me for the last few years I started on dessin Mayon and I finished his tonight I finished May Kon with the promise that I made to the man whose May Katon was unfinished and that well-known Story made me think how many people left this world with May unfinished and I don't mean specifically the M how many people and families who went through a sorah or a Calamity ran who lost somebody how many of those people were in middle of their who's going to finish it for them who's going to finish it for them who's going to finish M kotan for six million Jews who's going to finish M Katan for all those in ER Stoll who have been stabbed or have been murdered for all those who are suffering tragedies locally and commun who's finishing M for them let's finish their M let's finish their M we're not going to finish it tonight tonight will start to finish their m and I hope that those four tips are things that will make turbulent times into terrific times I want to end with AA perhaps like one we've never heard before the turn to the re you know the he turned to the reum and said there's a Mitzvah in your that says send away the mother bird and take the children send away the mother take the children like this turned to the and said every time we've been redeemed from AOS the two people who did it one had a name that started with an Al and one with a me we left MIM because of Aon and mosa Al and me we left the purm story because of Alf and me Esther and morai and we will be redeemed because of Al and me elah and mashia Al and me always brings us from G to Gus Alan me spells the word aim says send the final aim the final and then take your children to may it be the will of that tonight we felt there are tips and tools that are practical and tangible May turbulent times be turned into terrific times may we ask to rebend the final we are ready so that no longer will we have to wake up in the morning and say any stab ings today but let's wake up in the morning and say did you hear they're dancing it's true Mia's here the third bdash it happened and beu am [Applause]