The Woman's Role in the Miracle of Chanukah - Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky

[Music] well with Hanukkah in the air you can tell when Hanukkah is in the air because right after circus they start selling stuff gonna yacht right and we don't eat those because they're terribly unhealthy you know that right they call them donuts obviously these people have never been in the United States of America they have no idea what a donut is here what they do is they take old collar rolls they soak it in oil long enough that if you put in a wick you can recreate the Hanukkah miracle how's that and they put in some jelly now the worst thing about these things about everyone knows you shouldn't eat them but they cover them with enough power to sugar so it falls all over you so everyone knows you had a super county yeah you're saying and if you try to brush it off it just gives you a clothing a glaze so you know you can't get rid of it you know so and if that doesn't work then notice something the jelly squirts out on top of your nose between the jelly and the powdered sugar you might as well just give it up anyway so I wanted to speak a little bit about Hanukkah and I I have a unique position it's very interesting God has a sense of humor I'm one of six boys there were no girls in my house except for my mother if she was a girl I don't really know we never determined but only six boys and I have eight daughters and yes indeed these things have to even themselves out I was in fact gonna open my own seminary I was gonna cord or laugh ski but so I I get it I get a unique legal perspective on things now you understand because I didn't have any sisters we didn't have any gender appropriate jobs in my house so my mother taught us how to cook and how to clean now to do laundry and do shopping this cotton or Doris I could come back on my bicycle pulling a you know wagon filled with groceries behind me a shopping wagon and my brother was able to pull two and steer with his feet I wasn't on that my drag but you know so of course my wife her mother never allowed her in the kitchen because she was only supposed to be study she was raised to be an intellectual shows you that opposites attract so so I you know again I have a whole different perspective you know when I was a guest I was very popular because you know my mother's mantra was it's the maids day off so you would right away get up and start clearing off and that's how we did it so I would be a guest at someone's Shabbos table and at the end of the course I'd start clearing off and you know hoping to serve and the husband would always look at me a guest and says I don't know my wife does that I said I'm sorry I wasn't raised that way and I noticed the wife home was never complained you know she seemed pretty okay with that yet up but to get a perspective and one of the things I've noticed is that a lot of Yahoo dos is geared towards men and women are sort of an afterthought now this is not meant to be anything other than that's just the way society usually goes there was somebody in the term essaouira convention who gave her a whole speech about this once you know I said they were over somebody's house and it was a widow and he wanted she wanted to say you know the euro zone for the ballas Tobias and there wasn't any printed in the benches back then is that because there isn't one it just wasn't done it just it was what wasn't the normal way of doing things so because of that particularly when it comes to shear him women are very often given immense shear and then there's a little tag line added on at the end I'll give you an example you come to Hanukkah and a lot of the see coat a lot of the schmooze and a lot of the ideas that have to do with Hanukkah talk about the power of Torah schmelp app and I have been at women she room where the rabbi gets up and he speaks all about tarnish ballpen and the power of Torah out there and how Hanukkah is all bad at the touch of a pear and how the Greeks pushed us to develop the tarts are up there and that's the idea of olive oils you have to squeeze the olive in order to get the oil out and it's all about Irish bellperre and when he's all done he says of course women don't learn Turkish about pear but you can support your husband's tada thanks for coming and to my mind I don't I don't if I was a woman I wouldn't find that particularly meaningful right now it's not a problem because most of the people weren't listening to him anyway so it doesn't really matter but you know but it's just it's a sad thing you know things have to be geared towards the particular audience so I want to pick on a particularly woman's relationship to Chanukah because you haven't understand when a mo aid comes around it means it's an opportunity it's a moment in time time is not a circle as the morrow explains it's a spiral you're always coming to the same points but on a higher level and it means there's an opportunity there's a certain coil that exists in Konica certain coop that exists and so kiss certain that exists on Purim and women miss out on almost all these things right because Purim women are basically trying to keep people from throwing up in their house right so case you're sitting in the house while your husband and two sons are crouched on the little half cyka on the map s if they are under the peoples drawing clothing that's dripping down on them you know I mean well you're in the house you know you mr. Simcoe stories that joyous time will you get to watch the men dance with tourists so um you know so for a lot of things you get left out now this is particularly interesting when you come to Hanukkah I'll explain to you why women archive in lighting the menorah all right women are supposed to light them you know it submits were supposed to have I it's a mitzvah so say she has man grandma right as we know all positive myths is dependent on time women are exempt from so how come when it comes to lighting the menorah is supposed to so the Gemara has this interesting line it says Kiev hane the ozawa nice they were also in the miracle now if you read that line you would say once again the women are sort of an afterthought yeah they were also in the miracle says the rush bombed Isis brings down the rush bomb when it says kick em hey Mau you rose so an ace it means they were the acre of the NACE therefore when it comes to the mitzvahs of Pesach the Seder and all of the missus ago with it there hi if why because the only reason we were redeemed from Egypt was because of the Russian said carios because of the women and that's the only reason we have pay sacks of course they're gonna be hive in it they're high oven vikrum Magilla women have to go the Miguel reading that's where we have all that wonderful experiences you know where you know you have to have two mignon um you know first like the men go to shul and then they have a woman's reading you know when we were first married I used to tell my wife you know we had small children I said listen you go to the main minyan I'll go to the ladies minion because they always like to have a minion there and now most of the men don't really volunteer and I'm willing to volunteer to be for the minion I pulled this off for about five years till my wife figured it out as a because when you go to the main minion that's where all the children are and know they say hum on and the kids are banging and screaming you know and they've got these gigantic roggers growl you know and they've these air horn and explosive devices m16 when you're halfway through the Megillah you don't care about humming you want to kill that kid knows that you go to the women's line email humming so I figured out she says that's okay you go to the main menu what a scam worked for a while well anyway but so why are women of my higher than that because it a stir the whole maze came about because of esters you can say women are high of in it and says the rush bomb and by Hanukkah it was you who this and Abbas Kohen Gadol so it's not that women are an addendum they are the main miracle of Hanukkah and I will illustrate this with a very interesting hollow when you light the narrows Hanukkah there is a hollow huh women don't do work for the first half hour women don't do work they don't show they don't blonde whatever it is they don't do certain work during that half hour men are allowed to men are allowed to I ask this once to a group of ladies why do you think that is and they said because men never do any work so you don't have to make a hollow go for that you know I mean okay that's definitely one approach poshness if there's an inner malacca it means that there's a higher her Gousha of the ohm live dogma right shabbos at the most kodesh it has the most ISM Aloha Yom Kippur is the next it has the next highest level is melaka Yount of his next has the most high system Aloha como AIDS next as the most right like that if there's an insta malacca it's more of a yontiff for women chronica is more of a hunter than it is for men because they have an issue malacca men don't have any similar so Chanukah is very much a woman's holiday i mean it's hard to believe because you don't really get that yeah so here's the interesting thing let's give a little twist yeah here's the halacha if you have a husband you don't light the menorah your husband lies snoring women have a greater her Gousha of had Lucas narrows than the men do but they don't light it the men light it and yet they're the ones who appreciated more astounding concept right why is that so let's understand the concept of Konica I want to pull out a very very arcane hollow ha yeah you know I always I always when I speak I say you know the most important thing whatever we're learning is it has to be relevant to our lives I speak to students all around the world people who had one hour and a reformed temple on a Sunday morning to people who went to the finest receivers and Bay's Yakov's and I always ask them what is the most frustrating thing about your Jewish education and no matter who I'm talking to they say the same thing it's not relevant to my life not relevant yeah you know your son comes home learning Gemara you know ABBA why do I have to know this I don't have an ox and I'm not planning on buying one I don't run through the street with pictures you know if I marry a woman it will be with a ring not with a piece of silk of indeterminate value if I divorce her it'll be and based and I won't throw my get from my roof into her huts aware it bursts into flames on the way down and these are all the commodities that people were sitting there learning yeah and what does this have to do with my life you know and if something's not relevant it's a problem and we have to be relevant I was in a shear once with much of Shapiro where he said the following Limor manaslu says whatever you learn they have to turn it into action there's no such a thing as learning something theoretical if you learn Arashi if you do a mitzvah if you learn a mcComish whatever it is it's got to touch your life you got to turn it into reality and he looked at us and he said second postulate are the Arizona so so over Vova horshack openness a homebrewer Kimura covers up an anime and the world was emptiness and void and darkness upon the deep water and the Spirit of God hovered above it and he looked at us and said what's the loss of that pus ik how do I turn that into relevant Lamesa in my life forget about the answer for now we're a little pressed for time yeah but but the question is it can't be that I'm learning something that doesn't have direct relevance to my life so therefore if there's a halakhah men light the menorah women don't like the maneuver but women don't do malacca there has to be a reason behind it yeah so I bring you a rather arcane hallo huh yeah I have an apple on a tree and a dead share it's which is our usual example of something that's tummy touches that Apple on the tree is the apple tummy impure or is it still ties it's still pure this is an old play is this the english-speaking group I just realized oh my gosh it's pure because no that cousin touched it it's a dash to the ground it is attached to the ground doesn't become Tommy right beautiful I pull the apples off the tree put it in a basket a dead Sherrod's touches it is it Tommy no why because there's a halakha and arcane halakha it first has to become wet on purpose right what I'm purpose I take Tropicana pure premium orange juice tells you Oh from America please just take a moment I don't know there's no juice that comes cuz you know how it glug is into the glove a good look you take a sip in your mouth goes numb Yamaha I pour Tropicana orange juice all over it and then the share its touches it is it tummy no because Tropicana pure premium juice is not a liquid Voss yeah the Torah says there are only seven liquids that are liquids yeah they are known by the mnemonic device Azure as Yad sha hot damn yayan wine ballad dvash honey yeah Shin chemin oil yes how love milk test cow do yeah the last dollar is dumb blood yeah and the last mem is maíam water it has to be touched by one of those seven liquids or it's not considered health silica bel Toma very very arcane a bit Kornfeld wrote a whole series of Fuhrman insights he's in charge of the Duff Yami Institute and he said to me once everything in Judaism ties together if there are seven mas cumin there are seven holidays probably each one of those holidays corresponds to a liquid let's see if it's right so kiss water you say that feel it forget em you pour water on them is bare that's an easy one right pour him wine right well no that one you do wine because wine is the the whole NACE came up through wine etc Hanukkah olive oil right that's an easy one notice the two deer a bun and holidays permament oil have two liquids that you have to make man-made they have to squeeze them to produce them right okay sure milk right cheesecake we knows that one right Russia shut up honey dip the Apple in the honey have a sweet new year right okay [Music] Pesach blood right you put the blood on the doorpost but mi hai ye you bake your matches with the blood of a child I'm just kidding I'm kidding that's being recorded that's a joke it's a joke we don't really do that I was at the council the oldest design and we at Lord that so it's not happening anyway it's also a joke anyway sometimes I'm teaching and girls are writing down I said no no it's a joke don't write that anyway and that leaves Tao do for Yom Kippur right now I have a shirt on each one of these things but I obviously only want to focus on one olive oil what is special about olive oil well you squeeze it but once you've got the olive oil you know what's unusual about it as opposed to the other liquids it floats it does not mix right hence a little tidbit for you since I did do cooking yeah the proper way to make a salad most people don't know this is first you prepare the greens you tear them you don't cut them you tear them into pieces and then you prepare your salad dressing but first you add the oil to coat the leaves and then you mix up the other ingredients in the cruet and pour it on top right this is this is the ferry show joy of cooking I'm not giving you any shame you know that's oil doesn't mix and that's what when you see you know you make your own salad dressing you mix it up and you see slowly the oil flows to the top why doesn't that happen with commercial dressings xanthium gum case you ever wondering but that's doing there it's to keep it everything glued together yeah mm-hmm anyway this way you can chew your salad and blow bubbles anyway so so oil doesn't mix now isn't this interesting what was the entire theme you see young man was a strange bird when it came to Gullah s-- everybody came to Gullah sand it's called one of the are bergoglio's Yavin they destroy the base in addition they send us in the Gullah Gullah s-- that's what they do or they don't let us rebuild the base of me there's no keep us in Collis that's what barbell did that's what rome did that's what power some mud I did yeoman didn't want to destroy the base of mech - they didn't want to exile us they wanted to usurp it and they wanted to say you Jews are no different than everybody else three days of darkness came to the world when Ptolemy forced us to translate the Torah into Greek why because now the tour is not something special you know have to go to a rabbi I put it on my bookshelf of classics you know there are these Baron review notes on books if you don't actually read the book you can read the summation there's one on the Old Testament yes then it's a piece of literature stick it on the Shelf and that's it it's not a problem they they wanted to reduce whatever we had that we are nothing special we are the same as everybody else and that's why what did they do yeah OOP our two homos homos make the like the Tim L cohosh lar name what a battle plan they wanted to break holes in the wall - the basement - and defile our oil that was their battle plan Spartacus rheticus hepatitis let's go tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me coming tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me and they were my Tommy all of our oil that was great why the world would you do that because they understood what oil meant to us oil doesn't mix and you Jews want to live separate and that's not gonna happen you're gonna be like us and they brought to the world sports theater University science Everest is forts everything that we call culture they brought to the world guess what people loved it everybody was being sucked in they were becoming Helenus there was a very small group that we're opposing it now what started the rebellion what urged the people to do it I'm gonna tell you a very uncomfortable story very uncomfortable yeah it was the story of the bus Kohen Gadol it's pretend Amanda she the bus going Gardner was supposed to get married and the Greeks made this rule in order to try to destroy the holiness of the Jewish people and that is that any pride had to face the fact that the Roman general might show up on her wedding day and have relations with her first does nothing you can do about it now was it it was that or be killed and the rabbi said listen it's a basically a case of rape so you know not a problem and what do you do you have to you have to live with the bad situation so the best Cohen guard on her wedding here is that the hegemon is on his way and she comes out to the smorgasbord without her wedding dress somebody said to me was she wearing another dress no she had no dress yeah she came out yeah and you can imagine how scandalized this was and she says oh I forgot you're a whole bunch of tsadikim you're a whole bunch of great people you wouldn't want to see me like this but you have no problem turning me over to a Greek general like this Oh Dems fighting words and when the general came the Kohanim got up and killed him that was the beginning of the rebellion you know who started the rebellion it was a woman you know why because who senses toward so her almost make the lie breaking down our walls there's a word for that that's called priestess who appreciates that most women because they're the ones who appreciate that there's an idea that I don't want to be out there on display there's a value to being able to have a certain sense of privacy of what we called sneers yeah I know women almost never hear about this concept of sneeze I introduced it yeah and so they fought to regain that sneeze of the Jewish people we don't want to be with everybody else we don't want to be mixed together with everybody else and you know who fought the war the Kohanim why because the Cohanim are the next most separate group of people they have special clothes that they wear you know and they're exaggerated the sleeves have to come all the way down into the hand you know the hem has to go all the way down to their feet sound familiar you know they have a belt 32 almost long you know how long it takes to put that on in the morning next time you complain about your shade oh yes then 32 ahmo's ripen that around over and over and over again yeah everything is is is you know that their clothing is a big thing they can't eat with everybody that maintain a higher level of of kedusha you know each rumor they have to be taller they can't go to funerals you know they yeah it's unbelievable they have to maintain this different level this is how they knew when they did excavations if it was a Co Haynes house because they would find that the calum you know the things in the house were made out of stone why cuz then I'm a couple Toma right a person's tummy they touch a coffee cup that's it you done you know it's coming so there you have my stone cup I don't have a problem you know you don't appreciate this now when Chum and Tyra come back in you know you'll first see what that means you know someone is Tommy and you know women sometimes become Tommy you know they sit on the couch afterwards you have to take it to the mikveh they ride in the car got a get a drive-thru mikvah you know what I mean they touch any of the calum you have to take him all to the mikveh you think pay sucks the problem forget about it so here's this poor cocaine and he's just trying to he's just you know trying to get through the day you know I mean don't touch my stuff that's my chair don't sit my chair you know you know and and to be able to maintain this and they fought this war for one reason leave us alone OOP our two homos migdal I they wanted to break down our walls and Mitama our oil and you know who led the fight the women says I'm sorry for you know why women don't like the menorah cuz the Ikram it's to light in the hood sir so woman's gonna go out onto the street to light the menorah when she's the one who led the fight that we should be more private it's a contradiction she senses it greater she sees that oil floating above the water and the fire the flame floating above the oil and she appreciates it more but it's in order for us to be able to have that sense that sense of privacy of the Jewish people it's a sad reality yeah I once heard a very cattleman from Waterbury yeah when he was still in Far Rockaway he was I heard him speak once and he said my parents may not have been as mr. observant as some people are today but they were proud Jews you know there were certain things you know Jews do we're not like everybody else we behavior I said this is something that Jews do today there are people who are very Mitzvah observant but they don't think like Jews the the that inherent holiness that inherent purity that always defined the Jew they keep the mitzvahs yeah I had a guy who said to me once you know he says they had a student the kid says rabbi I don't know what you want from me yeah I just want to go into my father's business and make a lot of money I want to marry a beautiful girl buy her jewelry I have his number if you're still interested anyway I want to go away on vacations I want to have a big house I want to drink fine wine fine scotch eat and find restaurants what's wrong a bet and I'll also learn and also you know avid thoughtful young me I said there's nothing wrong with that it's the perfect life if you're not Jewish he says no but I'm gonna look dolphin I learned a few I said so you're not journalist Tommy this guy in a kabuki used to learned a few oh me in one day he gives him an invitation to his son's Bar Mitzvah he's I'd love to come he said I want to give you an Aliya he says I can't these his wife says I'm not Jewish says you're not Jewish but you come and learn kumari every day with me goes oh it's so intellectually exciting he says but you come to show on Shabbos he says oh I enjoy the service so much he says but you know that a non-jews not allowed to keep Shabbos he says before I go to shul on Shabbos I put a Hank chef in my pocket so I'm carrying he says but we have an era of he says you hold from that era so you're dying it is but it's a mindset Hanukkah is a time especially when the rest of the world with all their lights and all their sales and all their excitement is going on and we sit with our little candles and the little flames flickering and we look at that and see how the oil doesn't mix we fought for the right to be separate we fought for the right to be private we fought for the right to maintain our dignity that's the power of chronica when a woman walks into Chanukah she sees that menorah and knows how she was moisten Efes what she went through to get this and understands the power of chronica that much more amir tosh m when this holy holy time comes yeah we should be able to understand that those menorah those those those anuki o to those candles of burning for you ask not for whom the candles burn the candles burn for you to paraphrase yeah you are the ones who appreciate the native Kannada than the most and a mere session we should tap into that energy this year to be able to raise ourselves in holiness purity condition Tyra thank you very much [Music] you [Music]