The Secret of Parenting with Patience - Rabbi Zamir Cohen in English (AI)

when it comes to raising children understanding boundaries is crucial sometimes a child may do something that deeply angers their parents leaving them feeling like they're losing control Rabbi WBY of blessed memory taught a profound lesson for these moments he asked when a parent yells screams or even resorts to hitting their child out of anger what's the real reason behind it if you ask a parent why they acted this way the common response is I'm disciplining them but Rabbi WBY urged parents to look deeper into their hearts is this about discipline or is it about retaliation are you punishing your child because they disobeyed you or are you venting your frustration because they didn't listen to you this realization can be startling imagine an adult on the street disrespects you would you lash out physically likely not because societal Norms hold you back yet with a child who is vulnerable and dependent it becomes easier to act impulsively Rabbi wal emphasized that true discipline stems from thoughtfulness not from a place of anger or the need to release pent up emotions if it were truly about teaching you would take a more measured approach speaking calmly considering the outcomes and focusing on what would genuinely help the child grow the vagan also provides guidance on this he wrote when a parent feels overwhelming anger toward a child they must not act on it in that moment acting in Anger leads to actions devoid of reason or purpose such actions harm the child both emotionally and educationally worse it sets a negative example when a child sees a parent responding to anger with yelling or hitting they learn to mirror that behavior with their siblings and eventually with their own children instead a thoughtful parent models composure even when addressing serious matters they stay calm deliberate and constructive for instance if a child lies or takes something that doesn't belong to them labeling them as a liar or a thief can be devastating labels stick and a child might internalize them if my wise and caring parent says I'm a thief it must be true this can discourage the child from even attempting to change King Solomon in his wisdom offered a Timeless principle he wrote do not rebuke a scoffer lest they hate you rebuke a wise person and they will love you on the surface this teaches us who to correct on a deeper level it teaches us how to correct don't use words like you're foolish you're bad or you're hopeless these words only breed resentment instead uplift the child say you're wise capable and wonderful this Behavior doesn't align with the amazing person you are such words Inspire love and a desire to improve by disciplining with thoughtfulness and care we raise children who feel valued respected and eager to grow let us model the patience and understanding we hope to see in them shaping a better future for our families and our communities [Music]