The Marriage Seminar: The Leading Cause of Divorce Today - Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

[Music] I claim that the leading cause of divorce today is fighting fighting R of course fighting but it's the in-laws and the kids and the religion and the selfishness that they're fighting about right nope not true at all not true at all it's how they handle the issues it's not the inlaws it's not the kids it's not the selfishness it's how they deal with the issues that are going to come up in their life how do I know this to be true first of all studies show that 70% of successful marriages have at least one irreconcilable difference an irreconcilable difference means a difference that can't be reconciled there is no solution for instance he has a business in Manhattan she has severe allergies and she needs to live in San Diego Chicago kind of doesn't cut it right I mean he wants to bring the kids up in a CIP background that she wants a lit for Shiva you can't send the kids around with payis on one side it just doesn't work an irreconcilable difference means there is no solution 70% of couples have at least one major life issue that has no reconciliation and yet they succeed very nicely but more than that if you pay attention to the issues that couples fight about it's never big deal stuff it's the most tiny minutia the most silly little almost I'm embarrassed to say but you know all of them from the toothpaste to which way the newest one is which way the toilet the paper rolls outwards inwards you work on that one go but when you see the trivial issues that couples fight about would you begin to realize it has nothing to do with the issues it has everything to do with the relationship has everything to do with the climate in the marriage this is a short clip from the marriage seminar the marriage seminar is a five-part Torah based guide to a successful marriage it is available at www.the.com [Music] or on the Schmo app