The Importance of Pursuing Peace - Rabbi Eliezer Zeytouneh

[Music] okay good evening everybody welcome you thank you so much for joining us tonight so I going on but okay so the fact that you people are here tonight is a great testament to your I have had the Torah parashat quota you know very fitting that this class is dedicated for my grandmother and that's because my grandmother was a woman who was the staple of our family she knew through her subtle ways her subtle comments are subtle activities how to bring all the cousins together the cousins the uncles everybody to bring us all together make sure that we united and it's very fitting because I shot Cora talks about division much looking ok let's go through the putter top right now shall we okay I said Cora doc we know but I said that croc is jealous why is he jealous because he was skipped over right Moshe Rabbeinu becomes the melon his brother becomes the quake at all his cousin at least until he becomes an SEO fluffy and court expulsion says it's not fair why did the son of amram the both sons they receive because this is a problem it's prestige and I get nothing and he decides because almost right right well cam it's enough for you what are you doing why you I'm taking obtaining attaining holding retaining all of this importance for yourself and your leaving everybody else with nothing cool i'm kapoor ashima so how much oh my daughter that's what colors jim so I want to talk tonight about the concept of my locket I want to talk about the vision about disharmony discord okay and I have a couple of questions question number one Michael KITT where does it come from what's the source of much look at the source of disunity the source of discord of fighting of quarrels where does it come from why do people fight okay question number two how do I stop division how do I stop my cooking how do I stop the fights the quarrels how do I make harmony and number three rabbis it to me why am I here tonight and all right I understand we will talk about Michael Keaton I know we talk about heart about peace about tranquility serenity it's wonderful but why do people do not want me to come to this class so why am I watching this clip i am i listening to this i miss me really why are you here no i do it right so let's get started is that this channel everybody ready are you ready because you hit for a reason I mean for the food I know you can ready let's get this all right colors comes in right something phenomenal listen to the song ready said the soil that can do shout shout about Buddha they say about Buddha anything that is holy their sanctity anything that is concentrated always begins with unity and it ends with unity commences and ends would tell them with peace that's wonderful however about the kelipah but anything that's associated with things that are impure with things that are contaminated Shara Bob would add this am pepillo da begins together in unity in unison and ends in division so a person comes down you're arguing with somebody and you want to know isn't what I'm arguing about is that something that's coming from all a place of holiness or is it to get to that out it's the inclination that's making me fight that's good making me offended that's getting me a little bit establish and you want to know what's the source of this quarrel take a look at the end at the end that we together are we united or we divide the class for show and that's gonna determine it to help you ascertain whether my must look in my fight today is really the same some I am or maybe not so that solar ship show might sound pretty careful and if we start right call my rocket ship some I mean so far it can be quarreling division that's really for the sake of it or for something that's really a founded again today it's going to endure what you mean endure so the rabbi's right what it means it at the end there's gonna be peace there's gonna be acquiescing of minds there's gonna be a Mallee ation i think that's a word right oh sorry it's taking the common they're going to melt i melt together that's it you could tell someone's that ships a mine or not in fact we know the person takes a little throughout the shots throughout the game and I always take a look what is the biggest my look at one of the biggest factions of my look at that you'll find in a game I not I might and if you lil am I in big deal ill always always divided on so many so many issues there are panicking dedicated I'm telling us the division tween I'm I admit you lil however the rabbi's right that am I would marry off their daughters two people are busy lil and Betty Lee would marry on with orders to people a a mine they wouldn't abstain from allowing their children to come and date each other you know one of the biggest disasters I've ever heard the one of the most bewildering things I've heard is when I don't allow my daughter to date a person from a different sub community I'm not even talking about Sephora demon Ashkenazi okay that's all so it might be an issue padeen not allowing my daughter to go out to the person who was just you know across the border for instance a person has a daughter and he's hollaby he's from holland okay and he has his daughter wants to marry or date a guy they're setting a suggestion from sham no no no no what do you mean we'd be there right he's catching that's a white that's why they can go well nothing you know the state is different I don't know so if you want to know whether or not such an ideology is our pizza or not as it con does it stem from a conch-shell qibla shower cause it's not from tamiya understand and the other day is a gonna be unity I'm gonna be together is there togetherness or not a person has to remember me knows because they're there people will say different things different things so when we call I call my grandmother Gaeta okay we're from Lebanon theta I know that the Egyptians called a grandma nuna nuna I know we had a Bukhari NZ and is America they say Bob EULA okay I want my son calling his a ba boola right that's why you're not gonna go out with a book Larry house it alone so a person has to realize when I come and I want to abstain from entertaining a certain group is it really exception mine is a come from kedusha or coming a special home from a comic home shelter ma and one second in fact if the others Betty sky the very sight comes in he quotes a camera he team and the camera et says at one time there were there was a group and this group sorry it was a couple and this couple were fighting okay they were fighting everybody fights all couples fight but what happened they are knocking shade our master taught me to get away Monroe's Shabbat where would they fight the most no survive Friday because the guy has either comes home from work and it's all hungry and he goes into the kitchen and he opens up the pot and he puts it he starts making a mess with the Hamid Hamid whatever you want to say and he puts it on the rice and his wife goes ballistic and she smacks it in smack my hand with your smack man why are you touching the food I'm ugly want me to do right and they start fighting and quarreling so what happens the commemorates vCloud it be me in that I'm so sure I ever thought I'd ever do Sheila man they be mayor here's what's going on here's about via the splitting of minds and he goes there for three weeks straight to make peace and what's it happens Shema check our our site on vine epic a to be me and I'll go from a bit there the gates a lot comes as I can't believe that they get that the baby mayor took out the it's a lot from that home which means if there's division if there's quarreling if there's this point if there are problems it's all coming from the etc it's coming from Macomb - ah it's coming from a place which is impure and therefore we have to understand just exactly where our quarrels are coming from how gripes when we get offended when we're coming right away a person takes offense or something where is that coming from so Zora comes at right it's coming from welcome to MA and it's something that you're able to control wait a second similar middle drove from now from Brussels comes as something astounding listen to these words from NAPLAN comes in says are you dad's food gamma or Vemma how Aquatica when a person is said when a person is depressed even your friends starts fighting with you it's not amazing which means what does I mean because I'm SID so my friend start fighting now you understand when you were said when you're depressed you start fighting take a look at a bully anybody ever deal with bullies right I remember when I was a kid and I was in a in sixth or seventh grade I was in camp and we had police these guys were in tenth grade and they decided to pick on a twenty a little busy Tony all right and he started calling me names and started pushing me around and sorry and I never got bullied a day in my life that doesn't happen right no such thing and I interrogated and I saw that these people came from troubled homes they were saying they were upset and because they were so sad because they were so upset they had to take it out on a scapegoat they had to go in there to vent their frustrations out on a victim and many times the source of our quarrel comes from our sadness from our insecurities from our own inhibitions and because we're not securing ourselves we're not confident with ourselves we're not happy with ourselves that's why we initiate these quarrels that's why we started it's the gate these fight all because there's something wrong with us but wait a second let me Koopaling right this sadness that we're talking about which is the source of many fights the source of many jealousies of envy when we're not able to tolerate watching other people succeeding and therefore we gotta sell with it we have to fight it with to insult them we have to put them down denigrate them dead and degrade them whereas Sanders come from soniku blame right sameness also comes from impurity which means again anytime you see Michael walking and it's a vicious fight on this year that's coming from the etc and as right as you think you are and as justified as you think you are the Mac or the source the West pool it's coming from a place of contamination of impurity and it's someone we have to keep in mind every time we argue with somebody and one second the truth of the matter is the defense comes to write something phenomenal by the way we're gonna get to something if you didn't supply everything we're saying it's pretty much standing and many of these things we know we're ready but wait a second comes the pillar weights and writes if you take a look most things that we get are there we argue about more things that we quarrel about most of our crimes with other people the things we take offense about a nonsense are they scary nom to vilify I met I call heaven Rotorua nothing is worth fighting for nothing is worth getting upset about because the person comes and insults you he comes in he denigrates you puts you down he makes fun of you he doesn't invite you to his wedding but Joe's engagement well he doesn't invite you to his house he doesn't call you when it's your birthday I think for a second did that make me any poorer am i losing money now because he forgot my birthday and it was anything did it hurt me do I have any pain he'll because he insulted me I think it hurt it anyway I told Steel it's all nonsense it's all steam it's all the attila trying to deprive you from your happiness yourself justified happiness yourself deserving happiness trying to take things away from you over nothing over foolishness over what is it go today over rotorua nonsense and they're personally able to realize that ascertain that at all times and never be upset at anybody realising then you really never lost anything you really never you know you weren't deprived of anything a prison able to easily allow these fighters quarrels these problems is issue they quickly dissipate listen to this comes a hotel Hakeem it says something phenomenal he says like this ready here we go he says imagine a person yes it's undercover no don't go missing sometimes you get upset at somebody why cuz you didn't do a kindness for you you won't do your favor or you know tell them I do not give me chef told me me didn't give me a present oh you know Mel veer a little bit shocked Rocco or I need a loan he's like giving me that loan no way that I'm gonna hate me cause it don't get upset about these things why I kick a bill me a vodka moshing so Barbara who though if Tom don't put your emotions in the hands of other people I can't allow other people to control the way I'm going to feel all the way I'm going to react or the way I'm going to leave my emotions I can't allow other people to hold the reins of my heart I got a pink content and in control I have to make sure that I have those those gauges in my hand and that allow other people to navigate my heart to navigate my emotions such an important thing but when I allow other people to get me a percent when I allowed other people to get me agitated when I start fighting with people when I become envious of others that means I'm giving the reins to my heart and I'm putting them in the hands of other people and how important it is for me to proceed from doing that I'll give an example I'll give an example no today I had a meeting I have to be any Shiva at a certain time I think was like 9:30 yeah I had to be at a meeting at 9:30 a.m. and sure enough they pull out of my on my driveway and I you know my driveway you know where I live either vet none of your business where I live actually my little couple blocks away from monkeys even and I take my car so sure if I get into my car and as I go on to having UV there's standstill traffic anybody knows the rabbi Z Tony I hate traffic I hate traffic I can't I do the peeps you know turn to their time yeah what's going on right that's me I came and Allah and then I started thinking for a second I thought to myself you know what I'm not getting it why should I get man I'm gonna allow the three cars in front of me to control my emotions and my anger and my day of course not I'm not gonna allow them to be the ones to tell me how to feel so I decided I know it's gonna put me at ease took my phone I put a little at calm is it doing it screaming everybody else Kosta Allah all right what happened I decided I'm gonna take the reins in my hand and I'm gonna decide how I'm gonna feel and that's where the person has to do don't allow someone else to handle your controls to tell you how to feel to navigate your emotions president Sall another take control of his own emotions and when I was a kid you know they had a game they would take a person to keep on start running around with it I think I would go we start getting right getting incensed I getting upset and start running from one and he would throw it to the other guy the other always already gonna be a so luigi gate so I remember when I was a teacher when I first became a Rebbe they did that also yeah I thought the games get more advanced so nowadays you do it on the iPad no okay but what happened take him to the kid you wanted you wanted to stop you want him to stop you wanted to come and give me a key power back next time they think you keep on start running just stay in place sit down right I may believe it slowly fine and lots different way infested throwing it around and within five seconds he gave it back to him because they realized they can't control his emotions they can't control his anger they're not going to navigate how he feels and how he reacts and that's what we have to tell the earth tada every time the answer that pull to keep our off every time yes I'll put you to traffic every time it comes and embarrasses you put you down Democrat you that grades you makes fun of your bald spot you tell me it's a time I'm staying in my place have fun with my bald spot and when you're ready just give it back and you could smile and laugh the entire thing away don't allow other people to control the way that you feel but wait a second cuz now it gets a little bit interesting the question is how do i dissipate quarrels how do I stop the fights how do I run after peace how do I run after tranquility rap why I want to do it I don't want to be miserable I don't have he said I don't want to be offended I don't be downtrodden I want to be a surprise I was happy what do I do so I want you to hear the next segment of this class you ready here we go comes the civil holla Dean and it says number one step when a person wants to be someone who pursues peace who stops crawls stops fighting stops division pursues unity what is the number one step you gotta do says its if it's not a team number one you have to understand that you can do it number one thing you have to do when you want to be a person was peaceful if you have to realize I have the ability to be peaceful I have the ability to control my emotions I have the ability not to be offended and not to be upset and not to be uh you know taking it back by comment or inaction that's committed against me I have the gauges in my hand and I have to believe I'll prove it to you I'll prove it to you you know if you think about it the same statement can be made by two different people I don't want person to just let it slide off your back and the other person you take offense I'll give you an example you know the other day I was sitting with my daughter Vidia and my daughter comes up to me and I figure out I was doing the zoom something with eggs maybe I was making guys and I never make cakes but do something and she comes up to me says daddy where do I come from I said well if you really want to know go is to go inside it's a smartest person in the house where eggs come from so she looks at me like she's confused I said honey what's the matter I said go inside I said listen who's the smartest person in the house so she tells me I am have a problem she thinks she's the smartest person now I said okay I mean I'm no problem go to the second smartest person or the second smartest person ass she looks to me she goes you were what's his name so she's smarter than me she just called me uh okay whatever right that's what she called me basically now wait a second amaura's shakal would tell me that he was smarter than me I sent him one way to the engagement buddy okay one way you want to go try it come okay hold on a second but since I love my daughter I don't know if you thought it's not good okay then thought of my daughter so I was willing to take that comment that she said that could be potentially so offensive and letting that bother me which we thought I have the controls in my hand I could decide what I'm gonna get offended when I when I'm gonna let things go and when not what I'm gonna allow them to build into productive constructive relationships and what I'm gonna allow them to destroy my entire life I get to choose it's in my control in my hand and I gotta make the decision you know the other day I just got a cut okay I'm sure you could tell and I just got it cut so my son comes and he takes a look at my haircut now he became a teenager he likes the style up his hair and whatever he looks he says daddy do you know that the last two weeks you lost more hair I said you know why he goes why dad who's all concerned see because every time I talk to I just want to pull out more right but I didn't get offended you did talk about my bald spot and I'll kill you because I decide when I'm gonna get offended and when I'm not gonna get offended so I have the ability at all times and anybody shakes me up what makes fun of me puts me down ignores me doesn't invite me to their parties or to their house forgets my birthday or my anniversary all right you decide what if they get offended in that so step number one house that's you're listening you like step number one is I get to choose and I could do it that's step number one but listen to step number two i love step number two this is gonna make your whole Klis there's once a person who came to me and said rabbi I'm having a hard time with par Nessa nothing is working right every time I try a venture it just doesn't go he says you know I was supposed to get a shipment from China and it was delayed for two weeks so for two weeks I have no merchandise to sell I'm sitting at home all day long what am I supposed to know why is my plan I stopped being tainted why is it being affected why I'm having such a hard time so I opened up a civic alacrity it so it it's a sipper a breslav a selfie any quotes to the Cote Maharaj and anyone who ever saw my status yesterday I put on my status but wait a second listen to these words everybody ready here we go says they look at the liquid area to it no cars music lapatin srvance you wrote me a note when a person gets angry in harms it affects your Panesar medicine they tada ladies and gentlemen please listen very carefully right now she can share its and Missy knows how the horse whenever the SLR comes to you and tries to agitate you to instigate to get you to be angry Tadashi Minnesota shower must be in la comida mala is the sacrimoni understandin charm I mean they want to give you a tremendous amount of money they want to give you a tremendous amount of sustenance upon us a wellspring of affluence very iterative occur killed your husband the eternal wants to ruin that opportunity he wants to prevent you from getting that wealth are you there Cassius Mallika by making you an angry person Shuba I think it as special as she root they're feeling variation of ammonia collaboratory their cars even if you have money you could lose that money when you get angry ladies hear what I said every time that there's an opportunity for you to get angry or it does all your for you to get angry or something's a mishap and you want to get angry from documen is telling you that pony allah wants to give you something correct at that moment and he had said that doesn't want it to happen since you do everything in his power to make you upset and the second you get upset you just lost that wellspring unbelievable how many times as a nap in a person sitting in this office and your wife calls and you do what I do decline right just don't tell her she'll watch my clothes anyway anyway all right I think what you do she calls again my president Klein again but my wife is smarter than me see clothes again it was the third time in a fourth time after five dogs I think you know what must be an emergency so I answer honey what's the matter hi how you doing I was wondering what are you wondering I'm wondering what are you calling me for what do you want for dinner wait a second probably usually I call her and tell her what I want for dinner okay why is it happening why am I getting so upset now why don't you have to call me a thousand times what is the reason and now I know cuz but LM wants to give each woman this is seal at that moment just give me a tremendous amount of money coming my way Joe is about up shift Spa greatness splendor and the inside I was gonna try to stop you right there get angry at your wife scream at her be obscene be brash be offensive but if I do what that prosperity doesn't fall down to be very careful understand that every moment when I'm being agitated that means that she wants to give me something good theater that's trying to do everything he can to prevent me from getting that good are you gonna falter wait a second how's a good good but hold on a second you know I wish rosie was you tonight have a good day Tony story only Arab boys right do you think around my second do she and the grammar solution mmm what else comes a right the following who was that everyone knows this I said all the time I probably talked as well many times can your place today thinking right right - there are certain things or he'll time the puppeteer my problem I said there are certain things you can devour the fruit in this world they're kidding came a little amoeba but then me me what do you get in the next world one of those things is valve Archelon banana Mahavira making peace between men and his friend wait a second if I'm peaceful if I bring to people and I allow the Tecla meet exactly yes and to bond that's an act that I'm gonna enjoy not only in the next world but in this world as well and if that's a case when I bring two people together that are quarreling if I'm peaceful myself imagine have beneficial it will be for me in this world because if you are peaceful you never lose down so I gotta tell you rabbis attuning story you know what for the last three weeks these stories have been happening and no one ever believes me you think all the hobbits are a boys-only rabbis souls into this story as I mentioned before my grandmother passed away a week in Africa and the first day of Shiva you know I was taking care of my mother made sure she was okay she was sitting and I was supposed to come pick her up so I was supposed to pick her up and bring her back home I was entombed my mother says don't worry he's already brought me home no problem so I'm driving and as I'm driving to go home I say you know what let me go see my mother so I'm driving and now I have to pull into her driveway as I'm pulling into her driveway a cart comes from the other direction speeding and hits the tail of my car all the side airbags all deployed I'm leaving by the way it makes it crazy Sam I sort of lost my hearing right the whole day I'm doing this thing I'm crazy walking around I'm doing they think I'm like this you keep your banana lady like right around Rob are you okay yeah yeah I'm okay why why do you ask hey something a little something wrong so rabbi what are you doing I know I'm checking my hearing you sure it's equal right and I walked up to the guy and I say you crazy he was speeding and he doesn't it wasn't speeding by by right what you're talking about I was already full fuller I was a three feet away we'll do what you tell whitey turd and I'm fighting with a guy I'm arguing with a guy who my mother tells me just let him go I said no we told man who make a police report well pay miles up if everything she's don't worry let's pay we'll pay for the damages just don't fight I said man come on look at this guy he's probably illegal they put him over the wall let's go what's the problem she said it honey please enough just come in let him go so sure enough I think a look at the guy after through you know we call the police and then and then my mother said just let him go I said okay you go get any so guy gets in the car he pulls away and I'm wondering to my mother like why we added it to pay for it the guy is liable what's wrong what's the problem who cares some exam in my office and as I'm in my office my wife calls I press decline okay you pick up the phone and she was honey you know you got to go down to the DMV that's what they do wine she said your license is suspended I said again no it's right what do you mean she goes your license is suspended I had to pay this driver's assessment fee or something and I didn't pay it yet I said wow she was how do you know what that means I said what do you mean cuz imagine yesterday you would have called the cops I know thank you very much right hi I got it I imagine you would have called the cops and the cops were that came down the first thing they would ask you for is license and race I see you've been there before and registration and when they would come and realize that my license was suspended I'd be in jail now and I'm sitting in jail and you have these big I've been there few times anyway by your knowledge and imagine in jail and all of a sudden you have these big top guys so what are you in for it's just a license what do you do hey you know what I would say snap someone's neck with my bare arms all right all right but when a person is peaceful when a person comes any pursuers peace tranquility univis you never lose not even in this world because peace protects you unbelievable but wait a second I want a quote video another liquid a thought from the same Siffin come to the coup d etat any rights like this ready and this is really the centerpiece of my class tonight says the Dakota retort Kohala Lima Lima hell coat the world is full of division it's full of fights and quarrels and disputes all of all the places have been water lam the chemical in Fayed every city in every home been a shitty name the neighbors because it's hiding me stall every person with his life Hoopa tip it off shut it off with the maids with the housekeeper's with the work Obon advocate sympathy then mushiya seemingly bought athlete should be wholly oh my damn it life is short ladies and gentlemen life is short okay Oh Michelle I bought a lawyer would the day that passes will never return it will never come back the moment that you live now once it goes it goes forever before you went with kind of Lomita and if that's the case do I really want to spend the moment of my life upset and said is that the way I want every moment of my life which is so precious so I want to waste it on being offended or being upset or being sad being embarrassed is that the way I want to waste my life forget my life a year of my life forget a year of my life a minute of my life do I want to spend my life being upset at someone else what a waste of life what a waste of time because time is precious and once it's gone it never comes back you know is he coming on and I said it's so done I love this game Anna knew I was good so that comes and writes the following it's great coming out we just learn too much about Charlie ready so the thing about it was once a revenue may be up who repeatable they self saver be a vowel I had a wife and the way I used to work in those days was the rabbi and he didn't scream you wouldn't scream you would have a person called the metal gear man and the motoki man was like like a microphone an amplifier so the rabbi would say his class to the matagi man and the petroleum ad would then come and amplify the attack list he would come and he would scream din cyclase or the rabbi would preserve his voice and not have to exert himself so one time the Mutulu man's wife came to me up whose wife and she says by the way we don't need your husband could you imagine mine my eyes the mature gay man he's coming his own in his own right we don't need your husband services the only reason that my husband comes and addresses your husband it's for couples free husband but he doesn't he's great at any husband so sure enough a beautiful whose wife got all offended and she wants to be a food to say look what happened look what he said look what she said must be it's coming from my husband and it be able comes and he says the following ready he tells her Marla or mine of Cali Mena what do you care what do you gain by being upset what do you gain by being offended mean II mean a it kill it kill it kill it soon ah by being upset by being offended by being taken aback you care nothing but if there's peace between me and him at the end of the day Breanna is priest because we're gonna talk to a lot between me and him who cares what he thinks who cares what she thinks and now we seen my life being upset I'm not going to allow that to distract me from enjoying life from building from accomplishing from achieving from being happy somebody else's opinion or what do you think what the whole true in their hearts I'm not going to ruin my life my minute my second because it's somebody else by the way because the truth of the matter is ladies and gentlemen how many brothers do you know that don't talk because of these fights and quarrels how many sisters don't talk how many parents don't talk to their kids how many partners don't talk is it worth it even for one moment for these people to be upset with their parents with their brothers with their sisters with their children what a waste of life every moment every moment with the people that you love hold it dear you know I was just telling my kids go back to my grandmother eight years ago my grandfather passed away and I used to go every Friday you know he tries to hobble it's mixed beans it's very nice after my grandfather passed away I felt like I couldn't go yet and then my wife's grandfather passed away and my wife came to me and said honey let me tell you something I wish had more moments to spend on my grandfather I wish I had more moments to spend with him more dear moments that we could share together make sure you spend every available moment you have with your grandmother every time you can spend with her every moment every second there you could sit with her relish in a greatness bisque in her in her majesty and I took her advice and every Friday took my kids and we went to DIPA every Friday and we wiped her off clean by the way all the food forgot my kid I ate all the food bales out a little bit but today that my grandmother's not here anymore I appreciate every minute that I spent with her people fighting with other people why husbands fighting with wives why every moment you have with that life I appreciate it value it cherish it because those moments will never come again don't waste them being offended ok so so far we're doing all right let's go to the third segment and the third segment is what must I do to make peace so we did the importance of peace we showed you how important it is to pursue peace how do I do it what do I do well there's a punish ah in the city the venom is 15 and over there whatever one comes and says listen you're gonna now enter the Land of Israel you're gonna enter the Land of Israel and when you went to the Land of Israel you have to conquer the entire Land of Israel what he's supposed to do is just walk in and start killing people says but LM no kitty chameleon later I came out there when you come close to it walk to a city and you want to wage war Vic errata Alice Shalom the first thing is take the first step and extend your hand out in peace you know what LM said whenever you're approaching a war your first step is you extend your hand out in peace you take the first step no way for someone else there you know what I'm fighting with this person I'm going to offend to say I'm sorry let them say I'm sorry first because they might never happen and if you're gonna stay fighting with that person for years that she's yours that you're wasting being upset at somebody else now I want to tell you something come here shot comes and writes you know why you can make the hearts warm up how I can heat up those hearts what do I do cover yourself that's very simple ready listen to this I carry my senior called Arthur I see this whole team up enough they receive the qualification Atilla cello yeah Amy Taylor solo just by saying hello as I love what you can avoid that brings people together just a Hello I'll tell you great story another rabbi stormy another rabbi sort another rabbi story you know there's once a person I got very upset with very upset you know what I don't know how many of you know me but sometimes when I get upset I get a little heated okay right Albert sometimes I get upset I go to leave no I'm trying to work honey I'm trying to chill now so there was a person who got me very upset and well interval of ahem they lost appearance and data as Quran and now they act and I think you know what they hurt me they offended me they slighted me but I'm gonna go to that again I'm gonna extend my arm out I want to make a gesture and let's see what happens so sure enough I walk in and everyone's jaw dropped because everybody knew that I was upset at this person everyone you know they gotta give me a void and the guy came up to me and said to me in hand and said thank you so much for coming I appreciate it and until today we're friends because I took that first step and went taser yeah I feel another story there were siblings that were fighting fierce fierce fighting and one of the siblings had a wedding their child's wedding and there was no way that the other sibling was gonna go but then either the wedding came and they went and all of a sudden the entire argument just melted away because they showed I care they took that first step they extended and they sent the white flag and that allowed peace to resonate and that family so number one is you take the first step yeah right well what about my couple old rabbi what about my commode fill my cup what does my honor does am i you see mean anything isn't it worth anything was it me shopping camera what the full pity and mr. rice is a missile bad it was really honored I'm a bit of the video one waters other people that's what forded that's who is afforded an honor so fine one honor abstaining from going and and then making peace with someone it's not gonna do with you're not going to attain your goal you want other people talking to you you go adding on or others you take that first step extend that hand give that hug and then you'll get that covered so that's step number one step number two well faster comes and says you know there's a concept in rabbinic and the rabbinic text and the rabbi's right whenever you see my locket I'm I bet you live em I says I'm Hanukkah right you go from eight to one Betty law says you go from one to eight think about all right um hi both of these opinions are divine leave me like somebody I mean both these opinions are divine both of these opinions are God godly words than what he told Nina served Esther comes and says there's always two perspectives to things there's always two perspectives to things two reasons why things happen there's always two reasons why things might happen and if I understand the other person's perspective maybe I'm not always so offended maybe doesn't hurt me so much if I realize why the person did what he did I want to tell you something by the way there is a rule the rule is if I didn't get invited to a wedding and I think I'm supposed to have I say go go it could be you know there was a guy who just got caught Amil me I think at 18 years of meal in his in his house 18 years omim you normally say 20 invitations must have been there okay so rabbis right if you think is supposed to be invited to something go most likely to be happy that you went don't get offended don't get upset but we if I realize it is another perspective on things there's another way to few things another way to go about things maybe I won't be so offended you know why they didn't write me maybe how's that done you don't have enough money especially rabbi said to me the way he eats forget it that okay maybe that's why I'm not invited well maybe that is certain limit of invitations maybe that's why I'm an invited by understanding that there is another perspective one of the theory another reason automatically my heart warms up and I'm ready to take that first step but waiting what David take the first step and I didn't go my way I did I went I should then and then they weren't so happily I'm fighting with my wife so I go when I talk to her and she still calls me a bum does she still burns my rice I still make the same thing for dinner every night what else does she know I'm joking right what am I supposed to do do I give up on peace well I think about saying katene I think I'm sorry team comes Mary thing just on the 30th beats on the first sign think about I think there's small interval all the ships have by name I beat them and good things semi heart and engagement parties not on Monday nights right come out right like this lately listening what's him get mad at says he get my not let's see a person comes and he writes a gig love it and he gives it to his wife and he tells big Dean if I don't appeaser within 30 days they get to get they means I have 30 days to make up with my wife 30 days a doctor 30 days to you know make a smile 30 days to make her realize and I'm a good guy when the thirtieth day comes and he did it to pieces why he tried is it again tonight so what do you abusive says a matter of you're safe now he might've added in a naval officer well did he do everything he could do you do everything in his power to try to make her happy did he give her iPod some money well that would make me happy did he do everything he can to infuse tranquility into his family if not the kid is not a get let him go try harder and said number three is don't give up you tried to make peace you went to say I'm sorry but if it didn't make peace yet you didn't try hard enough you gotta try harder wait the gentlemen I deal with chalamaiah issues husbands and wives come to me to try to make Des Moines men and many times how's the turns around and says you know what I tried I did everything I could what do you want me to do I'm attempting she's just not flipping the truth is are you really you know whenever there's disharmony I always tell husband take your wife on a date like you did in the olden days you know dress up very nicely put on the Cologne gel the head I mean the hair go in on a D and Dazzler complement her open the door fire fire froze write her up Owen right roses are red violets are blue please forgive me or I'll kill you no like that don't sit right but write her a poem did you do everything you can did you try your hardest did you give her money and I named that soda Quran say my cousin's upset at me my mother's upset at me my mother-in-law's upset at me and I want her to like me if you didn't gain it if you didn't attain it if you didn't accomplish it you didn't try hard enough there's always a more you can do because peace is a comes from kedusha and if you're pursuing peace peace begins with unity and ends with unity so if I didn't achieve unity and I didn't try hard enough because anything that's do with tranquility is demo it is rooted real in kedusha you know I want to tell you something people tell me all the time they have hard times are there with the motherless you know I make fun of other ones my mother was it down really good to make it very nice lady many of the people come to my house on Shabbat you know she's a nice lady just deal with me okay okay she's the most famous mother-in-law in America now because okay anyway but some people go see rabbi don't know to do my mother-in-law I see you know I can't tell you what to do with you mother was just compliment her until she's tired of it everything she does compliment you sit down take a look at her shades Wow my you Poteau Shaye's why you must be sought this thing unbelievable she makes you water my the water best tasting water I haven't tasted okay she makes you food the rice half burnt I love a hotter I love birds rice it's great you know hotter you know how this you know how this you know what it is can you make us a Mahanta it's great to burnt rice it's crispy break your teeth but it's very good hey someone told me to singular fashi root for cirfairy forgetting wealthy I've been eating it for a couple of years I'm still waiting but it's okay right not that's the best of heart that you ever made it's great she makes you a cake you know what I do every Shabbat I buy my wife flowers I buy my mother flowers and I buy my mother a little flowers you see that are you doing everything you can to make peace I think you can't to retain tranquility everything you can to make sure there's harmony and serenity in your life don't waste a moment of your life being upset so wait a moment of your life being offended then waste a moment of not being angry don't waste a moment of your life period utilize every moment in your life to be happy to accomplish to achieve and by doing that is that the by really bringing people together you will not only enjoy your own my bad you'll enjoy your limousine you'll enjoy your wife any kids your brothers and your parents you enjoy every moment of your life let's not be fragmented let's come together and by doing so is that the shame the rabbi's right booboo bear had but LM will reside with us is that the shame I mean thank you for not very many hundred I wanna show me [Music] you [Applause]