The Emotional State - Rabbi Yaakov Altman

[Music] the number one most important thing I can tell you if you want to be successful in anything in life is you have to learn how to master your emotional state your emotional state we do not see the world as it is see the world as we are if you're in a grumpy state the world looks terrible if you're in a happy state the world looks wonderful right imagine that incredible moment that the guy you meet and you really think he's fantastic inside he's the right one and you really want him to ask you and now he gets down on one knee and he pulls out a ring right and he asks you how do you feel amazing okay you can imagine right if you come out of that experience where you just got engaged to the guy of your dreams and he and then you see do you have a ticket a parking ticket on your car how do you feel parking ticket it's beautiful right you don't care right on the other hand if you come out of a situation where your boss says listen we don't need you here anymore I'm sorry you're working there for 15 years and the boss says I'm sorry we don't need you and I have a parking ticket the point is you get to like feel so rejected it terrible right why because the emotional state deteriorate only affects your understanding of the world your explanation of the world makes sense very simple I want to give you a bunch of very clear solid tools to control your emotional state by the way I apologize my glasses just broke okay you're wondering what's going on here alright see it's so important to teach you this that I came even with broken glasses even though it's a little embarrassing then anyway now here we go I want to say I'm going to state I'm going to give you a bunch of things right now there are solid tools to change your emotional state now this is short term is not long term what that means is if a person - having a very difficult situation because let's say they're sick this is not going to dress this sickness if they have a financial issues I'm going to address the financial issue but this will put you in a positive state so you can make a plan does that make sense because if you have so panicked and you afraid we're so in terror or angry whatever is you can't think okay this is very effective ready number one what affects your emotional state what affects you emotionally the first thing is what you focus on focus equals feelings focus equals feeling number one is focus right now there are a number of things that coming into your mind there's the sound of my voice there's the music coming from outside there's the pressure of the feet on your body yeah you can focus on any number of those things you can focus on something to happen in the past which could be for example that in fourth grade you got really embarrassed or you were scared or nervous about something else that makes sense whatever you focus on we're focus goes energy flows that make sense change your focus to change your feeling this morning my wife was crying why because of thank God we have a lot of kids but the third child is now off to yeshiva kadala which means he's off to basically like college we're going to see him in two weeks that's a short amount of time sometimes you see him in a month or two months he went off they went off to go learn now so my wife said look the three oldest boys ami Smalley Shia right he's the last of that little period of time and now he's going away and she just right right so when she kept focusing on the factor well he's gonna be far away and like we can't make him food it's going to a place where proper yeshiva is going through a school they have food there that everything is he's been packing for a week and a half he has everything that he did yes money has everything right what's the problem but emotionally when she focuses on that she feels in a certain way which he changes her focus changes the emotions that's number one you want to change your emotions that you feel change what you focus on right now makes sense now now as I can focus on fact my glasses are broken or I can focus on this is a wonderful opportunity to share this incredible knowledge with you that's a different focus the different feeling okay good number two what's the meaning what's the explanation of what you're focusing on in other words I'll give an example fast forward you're married and you're supposed to meet your husband having a date you're meeting him in a restaurant you're coming from one place he's going for another place and you meet him at seven o'clock you get there 15 minutes early and he's not there how do you feel you're early now 15 minutes before the time oh very good he should also be there 15 minutes early it's not important how do you feel so how do you feel emotionally organized so you feel organized and good because you can get you get a nice table for you and your husband and you feel like if you really care he would come early because I came early right it could have come already so different so how do you feel emotionally so how do I feel mostly though angry happy sad disappointed whatever scared nervous disappointment of vulnerability so you feel disappointed on vertically and you feel kind of happy and organized sort it out as they say right just taking a minute now right different meaning totally different emotion now let's say it's 7:20 and he's not there how do you come how you feel emotionally though angry how do you feel worried what is you angry chump never takes me out finally decides big guys doesn't show up you stands me up I'm spit up in my own my own my husband's parable right and you feel why do you oh no he never does this you maybe do the car crash right of course me in the carnival anymore thought right he loves me a totally different meaning changes the emotion that you have now here's the thing how do you know if your meaning is accurate you don't so you might as well choose to view the situation's you're in as something beneficial so you can handle them in the most effective way I'll give it let's go a little further 7:30 you emailed him you called him smoke signals everything nothing works nothing works seven you still and then the phone rings you try calling he didn't answer right phone rings in 7:35 he says to you where are you like we're worried if you're angry like where were you honey okay your wife if you're nervous and worried or your anger like where are you I know you're sleeping tonight the dog house they're not sleeping at all right so what's going on he says where are you say well I'm in the restaurant where are you and he says did you go to the dairy restaurant again remember we said that the go to the meat one not the dairy one so now you're in the wrong place he's been waiting for you for 55 minutes now how would you feel how do you feel now sweetie I'm sorry honey I'll be right there right now it's the same exact situation the meaning is changed because the meaning changed the emotions change now when you're very angry very nervous or worried the situation was the same but your meaning was different so choose and say listen I want to give us a good meaning oh this is the best for me I don't know why I'm gonna learn from this if it doesn't challenge me it won't change me does that make sense yeah different meaning now what's the next thing that changes your emotions action take action now action doesn't always make you happy but in action always makes you miserable just sitting there doing nothing makes you crazy I don't know I don't know you feel nervous or more and more angry do something some kind of action right decided to fix your glasses right call up call up his best friend and say do you know where he is cult is work if he's going for work and say was he at work recently what time did he leave think maybe you want to you know and I ask guys it's 7:30 and your wife still hasn't shown up how do you feel they say full why I ordered they took action something we'll get up to may pray davin min could do something or maybe leave like he said I'm leaving but some kind of actual day something actually ok number 4 very very important language Suffa right what what do you say in your mind what is the choice of words that you use is very important if you are upset and you say I'm enraged that will make you more angry if you're upset you say I'm a little bit peeved now no one speaks that way yeah part of me is a little slightly frustrated it brings down the intensity of the negative emotion make sense now you don't you can't live your life in that everything's ok when your husband cut the show god forbid of doing something terribly well well it's fine part of me is a little bit concerned you know god forbid some it becomes a terrible person doing all kinds of terrible crimes I cannot say it it's okay pardon me Olympics but you do still want to say that you can keep your mind if they were saying people get panicked they get nervous they get scared they get terrified and when you terrify you're nervous or you're angry you have no ability to think inside the situations that make sense yeah now I'll give you an example on language true story three guys very wealthy went on a trip a safari in Africa they hired a professional safari service and the safari service they drove out into a feeding hole of watering hole where there's all these wild animals coming so amazed to see animals of all types very dangerous they said we must leave when the Sun Goes Down fine the Sun Goes Down they're about to leave they turn on the truck to leave truck doesn't go on doesn't go on one guy this is outrageous I can't believe this I'm gonna blow my top lavas coming out of my head very angry second guy says we're all going to die no one's going to bury us though we'll find our bodies yes that's kill right it's over third guy says this is mildly inconvenient now the guy's the third guy sounds like is ridiculous mildly inconvenient what do you mean they're in danger first guys too angry second guy's in a panic third guy still has his mic he used transformational language that makes sense now here's the thing there's certain words that make anybody instead of saying I'm enraged say part of me the little frustrated double language part of me is a triple is a little bit instead of angry frustrated not I can't take it okay that's very effective for marriage for raising your children for relationships with friends with your bosses with your co-workers everyone around your neighbors everything community members have to be able to maintain that emotional state sometimes people do things that are ridiculous are challenging or upsetting or whatever scary but want to maintain your core okay now besides the general words there's also words that are unique to you if you have certain very good friends a very good friend you can tell when she gets really excited to certain words she always says one see it's very angry so certain words he always says or scared now when she just says those words even if she doesn't feel the emotions puts her right back into the emotion if she's a bad emotion she can say you know what every time I have this bad emotion of fear I feel like I say the word I'm panicking I'm panicking just cut the word panic out of your vocabulary if that's what you do and you'll you'll bring the emotion down on a regular basis be much less intense make sense now this is very important you see how this can help you this is amazing right now here's another one this is probably the most important one okay this is the biggest one that is physiology what you do with your body very important yeah when you feel a certain emotion in a strong way you put your body in a certain position tell me what do I see one of my emotions right now right what person was said doesn't doesn't walk around with his face off and it's check out and is walking in and broad and broad waiting arms everything's pulled in kind of hanging down hi picture low pitch low pitch speaking quickly or slowly slowly you're all practical psychologists how do you know that for the life right if you act in a certain way it'll make you feel that way emotionally if you want to avoid that emotions don't act that way if you want to get that emotions do act that way it's the most effective the very strong bond between your emotions in your physiology and everybody knows that but you don't use it as a tool so my achieve of the past year did a fundraising project first time they did their making a video for fundraising so they said okay we'd like to video some of the teachers on staff so is it okay let's do it one a video you so they pull video camera and they want a video great I was not in a good emotional day at this point like give me five minutes I want to do some push-ups there's a push-ups jumping jacks opposed to pull-ups like my physiology was like your heart is beating fast you're moving around you're suddenly alive and alert it totally different story did it change the emotional situation it sure did it change the physical situation no but emotionally totally change when your heart's moving around I usually I walk here I live about 50 minutes away by foot I walk in today they call me early to come early because it's one minute sub pro class I couldn't do it yeah but I was planning on leaving an hour beforehand walking getting here right when I finish the walk after you walk for 50 minutes you feel amazing yeah it's great so I ran up and down stairs porking this question okay talk to you a little bit about it now next if you want to change your physiology you have to be able to be in good emotional shape and good physical shape you have to be amazing but this is one of the reasons why it's very important to make sure you get enough sleep because if you're exhausted you give you with your favorite people in the favorite place doing your favorite things but you just can't appreciate because your body is soul physiologically down you can't do it right when you sit in a certain way it's good to sit in a certain way if it makes you feel in a powerful way standing the same way I sometimes do voiceovers you know those are yeah recording voice right so you do voiceovers they say don't sit down stand up you feel much more powerful and alert and aware when you're standing up now I'll tell you a funny thing teenage boys do funny things especially when they're like just like new teenagers it kind of awkward and things like that I do funny things so when my friends and I were about 14 years old which is a very awkward stage so we felt were very cool we weren't but you can imagine so when something very good happened we're very excited about we make this funny physiological move is to do something we go oh like that now that's a very geeky thing for boys to do so I didn't do that for years since I was like 14 to 15 years old but because I did it for a whole year at then and I we do that when I was really excited what even now and I did I already thought to feel good yeah because you get just like language you get linked to certain words physiology the same way there are certain things that you may do that's unique to you certain physical moves certain facial expressions if you want to have that emotion figure out what physical moves you do and you can have that most efficiently make sense now it's very important something feel very down you disappointed you're scared you're nervous apprehensive about the future you know you're confused and I kind of know what to do this morning I was trying out how to make a certain decision about something I was feeling very tired when sleep late last night I usually don't do that mostly late my boys are going off your sheep and a few other things that very busy the very first day today sending all kids in all kinds of different directions today right very big deal very busy I got up at 6 o'clock in the morning I still wasn't enough time so they got one five o'clock in the morning anyway the point is like this I want to sleep late a 3-hour nap last night basically yeah very very late night this morning I didn't need to make a decision and I felt very like I know what to do I got off an exercise for about 10 minutes and I felt old and I was alert and awake no problem deciding nothing changed physically except my physiology changed okay good next one that's physiology now this one is interesting this is questions all thoughts all probable process of thought is just a series of questions and answers is that true do I think that way how does he know this well I guess I do too sometimes do I want to ask my other exception all right that's the questions there's the question and answer questions now listen to this you're constantly asking yourself questions you might not realize it but you're doing it an excellent question will put you in a great state a terrible question put you in a terrible state here's a bad question when will I ever get it right that means I never got it right up till now why do I always mess up who says you always mess up when you ask a why question your subconscious mind assumes that it's true oh it's true oh I always mess up your brain washing yourself into believing whatever you ask yourself in a question form there's a whole book it's called aspirations it's about this topic there aren't affirmation Asst affirmations affirmation it's like basically most surveys with all most of which is you take a certain idea you want to internalize you want to own it want to get into your bones and you say it again and again and again I'm a kind person I'm a kind person makind person it sounds kind of boring but it works it gets into the subconscious mind the problem with that white less effective is that you save yourself yeah but really am I am I really so kind you ask yourself questions that contradict it but if you ask yourself a question the following way you make yourself kind how am I so kind how do I manage me so kind all the time how do I manage me so consistent or organized why am I so successful in so many areas why am I so patient with my friends and relatives whatever you want right when you ask it in the Y form your subconscious mind accepted it's true now there's something called a primary question so let me ask you one thing forgive it when you in a bad emotional state ask yourself a different question change the question instead of one will ever get this right get it - wow what can I do what can I do to learn from the situation what are two good things I could do to solve the problem or to improve the situation how can I use this to learn for the future how can I use it to help other people what's great about this Allison of this is very much a person who teaches this type of stuff was going to many meet about thirty years ago twenty eight years ago it's a right teaching us type of stuff was organizing a seminar he's at the beginning of his career he's very famous now but seminar about five hundred people were going to come he had a person in charge of the seminar and they said a week before the seminar I'm sorry that person called him up and said there aren't enough people that registered we have to cancel so disappointed finally canceled the seminar nothing to do right now what happens a week after the seminar took place someone called them up and said hey I heard the seminar went really well and what was great so what do you mean what someone's like you know a seminar you gave you know we had a chancellor no I wasn't gonna meet cancel it I heard three different people talking about how great it was the person that this man hired to set up the seminar lied to him and said there aren't enough people there are plenty of people and that person memorized his stuff and gave it like he was the man himself and kept all the money and ran could you imagine you work on it the guy was working on for three months six months who knows how long he was going to make a lot of money was very good for his career and the person stole everything from him and said oh I'm him put the money and left so the guy says okay what's great about this so he says nothing nothing's great about difference so listen to this if your mind doesn't want to play this game this is what you do I don't know nothing's Rivet but if there was something great what would it be oh so he said I can use this to help other people if I can get over this myself I can help a lot of people to get over them they're all their own issues okay change your question you change that you feel now that's the general question that's questions you ask on a regular basis but there's something else here also which is something called a primary question a primary question is what's the question you currently ask yourself in all situations not everybody has it a lot of people do for example what can I do now what can I do now or when will I ever be enough how do I find the right one how can I make more money how can I become a better person a different question will radically change what you're doing in your life does that make sense now if you change the primary question your entire life will change ask yourself what's your primary question what are the main questions that I ask myself tune into that is very important I'll take a good quote until you make the subconscious conscious it will control your life and you'll call it state note that means we have these things in our subconscious mind that are kind of controlling what we do our beliefs our emotions right now that's not about religious beliefs about like your beliefs about life what you can do what you can't do what my abilities are oh I never pictured myself being a painter being an artist the famous artist I believe it was van Gogh who said if you hear a voice inside of you saying I cannot paint then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced it means his voice is inside your mind that are telling you certainly some of them are okay and some of them are literally crazy some of them are just immature some of them people put in your head or you'll never be anything when you get older that's a terrible thing as there's only a child or anybody you'll never make it you know all the stories right you'd all the famous people Walt Disney they said he's not creative dr. Seuss went to 26 different publishing houses before they accepted his books Michael Jordan was cut from his day as a basketball team in high school Michael Jordan was cut for his basketball team yeah Oprah Winfrey was fired from her TV job they said there you have no future in television Oprah Winfrey okay what's going to the whole long list yeah you'll never get anywhere not sure who says okay now let's going to the last thing all this oil now these things are all short-term just few more things that affect what goes on in your emotional states people tend to have certain emotions that they have again and again how many words are there in English for human emotions take a guess about 3000 huge number of 3,000 words for human emotions because they're very subtle difference in emotions as emotions differences in emotion yeah now if you want to see the difference in emotions that you have ask yourself what are the emotions that you have during the week you'll come down to about six or maybe maximum tenth most people don't have too many strong emotions then enhanced ammonia why do you keep having the same emotions again and again what do you say like you having the same emotions again and again why is that that's right you're in a cycle exactly right you're in the habit of having certain emotions now we said your focus changes what you have emotions on your meaning different meaning different emotion action language physiology you act the press to me the press you act like you own the place you'll feel different right what we do is because we're used to feeling scared or angry or whatever it is we choose things like this that get us to have emotions that we're used to having I'll give an example 9/11 World Trade Center knocked over terrorist attack there was a conference a bunch of people talking people talk about their emotions one lady was angry oh she doesn't know anybody from New York she's not even American but she's angry another lady guilty she works for emergency medical services she lived in the New York area she said if I was there I'd be helping now I'm in Hawaii I can't do anything about this very guilty the other lady was scared I was gonna happen what can happen right now they asked these three ladies the angry one what happens one X Y & Z oh I'm angry she always gets angry because she always gets angry she has a pattern of focus a pattern of meaning action language physiology and questions that caused her to get angry she does these things in a way that produces the she's used to the guilty lady the same exact thing I should have been there you know what how many things the emergency service people did they did very little there's very little I can do it 911 they couldn't do anything it's very little they can do there's very little going on there yeah no one actually showed up in the hospital except for the emergency medical people they showed up in hospitals but there was no actual people who came hospitals they had all these houses didn't work they did most of lien survivor they were didn't about very little between now the person who felt scared always feel scared because he always takes actions to make it feel scared uses words this is terrible we're all gonna die what's going to happen physiology she does that of course you're gonna be scared so ladies if you want to change how you feel it's not just enough to change this you have to change the pattern of what you're doing if they interrupt your patterns if you keep breaking the pattern enough times you'll change that you'll change your go to emotions and your whole life will change it's very important so how do you interrupt your pattern change any one of these and they'll interrupt your pattern the easiest one I think is physiology when you're angry I don't like that that just like look it look yell out is a great thing if you've heard this before bubbles the author word bubbles you can't yell bubbles at the top you long to be angry not possible make funny faces at yourself in the mirror I know the story a guy got engaged and he was having a meeting with his father-in-law about the wedding father-in-law yeah the future father-in-law about the wedding and it got a little bit uncomfortable and he's felt himself getting very angry so he said excuse me from any went into the bathroom and he made faces at himself in the mirror he changes physiology totally changed the state understand now if you do that enough times you'll break your pattern and your whole life will change angry people tend to get angry about everything in life disappointed always disappointed said always nervous always nervous happy people always find a way to be happy there's some phrase I don't know the phrase to well I think it is that happy people always find a way they always find a song to sing something I always find a song to sing it means there's always now a good example is they took a bunch of optimistic kids happy optimistic kids positive kids and then ones do an experiment can he be positive in every situation they put a kid in a room empty room on the floor excuse me for saying was a pile of dog hugs you do have a horse manure that's the only thing in the room kid goes in there it wrinkles his nose then he starts smiling now what is there to smile about that you're in empty room I mean huh why this is why you smiling he says there must be a horse nearby his meaning was something got to be something good about this because he's in the pattern of that he's in the pattern being happy I have to find a way and only that instead of just going like this he changed his physiology he's going like this there must be a horse near body he started smiling totally changes emotions because he's using that pattern make sense another guy is working he's trying to help his wife with all kinds of things so he does the he does the floors in the house so once or twice a week he's he's doing mopping the house is really cold sponger doing sponge at Israel right it's put in half so then someone said to him oh you probably still happy not when he was cleaning before he'd be so happy to have a big house he said nah I've had a big outside have to spend more time mopping the floors there's a much bigger picture this guy finds a way to give it a bad meaning oh is something like that okay good now another idea we are not capable of achieving anything that's beyond what we believe we can achieve punim central there's many examples of this most people say listen I haven't reached my potential yet but I'm trying to get there there's two different limitations on your on your abilities what is your actual limitations the actual ceiling of how much you can do and the other one is how much you believe you can do is very important if I believed that I could fly without any help it's never going to happen because I can't I can do something like it I can have a little squirrel suits and jump off do BASE jumping there like that but I can actually fly right I really believe my that is a great joke that makes one of these that things you know every every pizza is a personal Pizza if you believe in yourself and try hard enough so you get the idea trite but anyway sometimes it happens that you want to you haven't ability to do something you think you can't do it so you don't Harry Houdini a very very famous escape artist prison warden says the Harry Houdini I have a lock that's so good you won't be able to open it he says I'll take that challenge he's an escape artist bring it on so what does he do starts working on the lock working on a lot working a lot a huge prison door 5 minutes 10 minutes 20 minutes two hours after two hours he's exhausted he leans against the door in exhaustion the door goes the door opens it was an unlocked lock he did occur to him why should I try I'll tell you though the story is corny Cleary there's a man who was supplying a young man who is applying for to go to school University uni I said all right and let's take it a minute anyway so what happens here he applied to University he applied to University of Pennsylvania which is a good school University and Yale University a few other schools he gets a small letter in the mail this is many many years ago from Yale University says that's a rejection letter when they accept you they send you a big envelope with all kinds of details the admissions all kinds of details right he takes the letter out of the mailbox says to his mother to see I got rejected and he throws the letter without opening it into the garbage his mother says you apply to open up the letter see what it says listen I know for sure I was rejected okay I'll open it he opens it dear mr. so-and-so we're pleased to tell you've been accepted to the unit the Yale University is that you see mom I got rejected and he threw it in the garbage the guy was smart enough to get into the university it wasn't smart to read the letter why because you don't see the world as it is you see the world as you are he believed in his mind that he was rejected so of course that's what happened in so he sought you read rejection even though it said accepted it didn't see otherwise you can't you can't see what was not what you don't believe in you have to believe that you can do it worst comes to worst you may finally you know I believe I can do but I realize I really can't that's fine that's okay but you don't want to be on the other side which is you know what I really could have done X Y & Z or Zed but I thought I couldn't so I never try to shame these are called limiting beliefs we are in change in our limiting beliefs two summers ago I filled up a notebook filled with limiting beliefs that I had I'll give you a very simple one if you go to sleep really late on a regular basis this is not the beliefs you guys did very late a regular regular basis you're going to be tired it's normal right but it could be if you get enough sleep that now and then if you go to sleep the next day is going to be fine right that can be fine but I believe did you go to sleep very late one night the next day is completely shut it's gone finish your chat it as they say you can't function who says last night I want to sleep almost 3 o'clock in the morning usually go to sleep about 10:30 or 11:00 little late night right so I felt it doesn't have to be like that I suppose is it really true that did they have to be what now I'm not true at all could we card maybe at some point but doesn't it days a washout who says that's a stupid limiting beliefs make sense so if you want to achieve you ever saying we're one of the limiting beliefs that I have it and are they true okay most of us have tons of these beliefs we're not even aware of them here's a great quote until we said this before unless what we did we didn't I think we've said it in this class there may be not de-spawn right until you make the unconscious conscious it will control your life and you'll call it fate they have a lot of unconscious thoughts and beliefs that are going on in your mind you're not even aware of them but they're directing you they're telling you what you can you can't do never occurs you can do something make sense before you do anything you have to believe that it's possible to conceive of it and then believe you know that's possible SF is it possible I could do it if the answer is yes then you should go for it you may decide if that's not the priority that's not what I want to be doing but if I want to do this like I can never work out who says now the more you do the more you can do it's actually a mission appear at the elbows it's part of the Thomas it says mitzvah guerreras Mitzvah a one whisper causes another mitzvah if you do one Mitzvah gives you an ability to do more before you did them it's for the first time you didn't have the ability to do the other ones some you had but some you didn't once you do a new marinelle spiritually and psychologically you have an ability to things you couldn't do before the more you do the more you can do so if you're going to doubt anything doubt your doubts not your abilities you should if you doubt as an enemy might doubt the trying to destroy me I'll doubt them take great quotes on my favorite quotes anyone can count the number of seeds in an apple only God can count the number of apples in a seat you have no idea how many apples giving about one seed one seed you put in the ground right now it's a little lumpy mff you bite into an apple seed it's actually a sign idea but okay we want to but it's very bitter because you have no idea you have to doubt how get the doubt you're your own take on your potential oh I think I can do this much you can do way more than you think you can do I'll give you an example as an example this morning someone says to you here's a 60 pound bag of sand I'd like you to carry it from here to there it's about four miles away are you interested and what you want probably not right I'll give you $5.00 for it I'm even less pigeon with the $5 right Kimmy now do you think you could carry 60 pound bag for four miles what do you say very very slowly yeah what's the life of once again just a few carry your no backpack very difficult right now let's say instead of a sixty pound bag it was your daughter and she needs medical attention in the medical attention it's four miles away no problem what that means is you really could do it because you didn't realize there's it's not a limitation on resources if the limitation on resourcefulness if you're resourceful enough you can get almost almost any resource there is in the world if you look at this building of a it was it was started by two rabbis in by begun eventually they became extremely resourceful and they built this beautiful campus many years the with the builds but it was the whole thing very very resourceful their Senators of the United States that were involved in in helping this school be built a big thing very big thing they're very very resourceful now let me ask you something you ever hear these stories about a little old lady or a little young lady a mommy it picks up a car offer kid how does that work how do they do that I must get this car off my child they don't think well you know I think you can't pick up a car I don't say that to say I'm doing it if there's any way I can do it I'm doing it they believe at that point I mean if I can do it I'm doing it I'm going to certainly going to try but they never did it beforehand because they never had to so ask yourself are there a bunch of things like that that I think I could never do that I really can do I'll bet there a lot of them and what are they holding you back from what are the limiting beliefs limiting me how are they limited in what areas how much better can my life be if I start challenging is it really true is it possible that certain things I can't do right now but if I start to do I'll be able to do more weight lifting you ever see the before-and-after pictures some of these weight lifters or what they can lift what they can't lift these guys are these women they throw up they can't live too much it started very slowly not saying that's important but let that's an example and after a while it built slowly of the muscles over a long period of time this skill in the balance and they can live very heavy weight the beginning it was impossible to the goodest what the potential desire temperature was okay so just a quick review if you want to be successful you have to learn how to master your emotional state in short-term this is the way to control your emotional states change these your emotional state total changes not only that if you have patterns of emotions if you want to change the patterns of being depressed scared angry procrastinating whatever it is you change any one of these that breaks the pattern you break the pattern of times the pattern goes away then we also talk about beliefs it believes how far can you do things challenge your beliefs very often the Nitro I'm talk about small D not believe in God intellect ok all the best ladies let's see