The #9 Commandment of Dating: Don’t Ignore Red and Yellow Flags - Rabbi Eli Deutsch

Don't look away when they show you who they are. Welcome back to the Ten Commandments of Dating. This is commandment number nine. Thou shalt not ignore red and yellow flags. Let's understand the difference. Red is a flag that is for sure a problem. Run for the hills. Yellow is a flag that's cause for pause. Could be something that's an issue, but could also be resolved. So, let's jump into it. The first flag for today is someone who does not take responsibility for their reactions or their responses. That means maybe you did something wrong, but whatever their reaction is, they dump it onto you. They put it onto your head. They make like they are not responsible for their reactions because you were the initial perpetrator. Another flag, a man who doesn't take financial responsibility. doesn't have to be making the money, but he should feel like if something is needed financially, that's on his shoulders. Someone you have to save. Do you have night and shining armor syndrome? Typical male problem. Are you looking at the guy as a fixer upper? Typical female problem. Both of these are unhealthy aspects and unhealthy things. And we need to be in our space being who we need to be, not looking to save the other person. Is the person you're dating someone who's jealous of your success? If they're jealous of your success, that is not conducive to partnership and there's something going on there. Probably worth staying away. Is this person someone who is insecure in a way that leads them to controlling in an unhealthy way? Also, typical dynamic that does show up, but this is going to follow in the relationship and make for an unhealthy dynamic. Someone who is an attention seeker on social media. Uh looking for unhealthy attention is uh looking for external solutions to internal issues. Not exactly healthy story to begin building a relationship. Obviously signs of violence, anger explosions, daddy issues. These are all things that prove to be volatile typically in relationships and addictions as well. Someone who jokes about his or her bad traits or the people around them, family, friends, also joke about his or her bad traits. Oh, you're going out with her. Oh, I hope you like yelling. Oh, boy. Take that seriously. You know, they say that people will show you who they are. Believe them. So, also people around those people will often show you who they are. Believe them, too. People often ask, "Well, how am I supposed to tell in dating? Maybe they're going to cover up these things." The answer to that is almost always they're not covering it up. Almost always it's being shared and it's there. Question is, do you want to see it or are you desperate to not see it? Is there a flag that you ignored that ultimately caused you harm down the road? Help others by sharing it in the comments. Also, if there's something that you want to know, hey, is this a flag? Is this a red flag? Is this a yellow flag? Feel free to share in the comments and I'll do my best to get back to