The #3 Commandment of Dating: Be Confident - Rabbi Eli Deutsch

Confidence isn't pretending that you're amazing. Welcome back to the 10 Commandments of Dating. Commandment number three, thou shalt be confident and express confidence. Now, confidence is something that attracts. When we don't need the validation of others, that is something that shows that you are a person. You are worthy, and that opens the door for others to be drawn to you, even if you're not right for them, but hopefully if you're right for them. Now, how do we get to that? So, there are certain things we can put in place in our lives to set us up to be like this. One thing, first and foremost, is self-care. Self-care doesn't mean doing whatever you feel you enjoy. That's nice, not self-care. Self-care means finding those things that emotionally nourish us, emotionally fill us up, and implementing them into our lives, into our day, into our week, into our month, and into our every six months. And when we do that, we fill ourselves up, and we are respecting ourselves. We are respecting that side of us that needs to be nourished. Just like physically we need nourishment, and we have that in terms of food, among other things, so also emotionally we need nourishment to be functioning at our peak level of performance. Also physically, in terms of the gym, are we physically working out in some way? Are we getting things done in our life? Do we just begin a bunch of things? Do we begin a bunch of tasks and then leave them undone? Or do we follow through in order to complete things? The more we do this, the more we feel full. The more we feel like a fuller version of ourselves, the more we express that, the more we feel worthy, and the more it shows in life, in in how we interact, and on dates. Also, can we go ahead and be unapologetic? That means, if someone comes to us with some request, and it just doesn't work for us, can we go ahead and say in a respectful way, "Thanks, but no thanks. This doesn't work for me." And perhaps above all, do we go ahead and do the right thing when it comes to question of values in our lives? When we're living in this way, when we're living to the higher side of ourselves, we feel full and we show up full and we radiate confidence and we're expressing the better version of ourselves and this draws people close and we're at a good place with ourselves to be able to make good choices. Follow for the rest of the 10 Commandments of Dating series.