Should Marriage be Easy? - Rabbi Refael Ribacoff

should marriage be easy okay everyone got the question should marriage be easy that that's you know living in today's society but you know just being exposed even if we're not watching movies we know like everyone's heard happily ever after and they and that's like even that's the day of the wedding so now should marriage be easy should marriage be easy I guess we'll work off a little bit about by classical what he said to get married is easy to stay married is difficult but in reality I think it should be easy and anything in life it takes preparation it takes learning it takes training and if a person has the skills of the tools to deal with whatever comes his way it'll be easy if you're trained as a doctor and you trained for disasters and you work in the emergency room when something happens you know how to deal with the situation if you're a guy just coming out of college I have no idea what anything is all about you'll have a tough time dealing with the situation so it's important and I firmly believe that as Robert kvass says that if I can if I can quote him I can take any couple that's out there teach him what they need to learn about being married and they'll live a happy life if you have the right skills in the tools education understanding of what it is to be married your responsibilities your roles in the marriage and being able to work it out with each other it'll be easy but people like to make it difficult sometimes they like to have a hard time they like to have issues like problems they like to have that cat-and-mouse give-and-take type of relationship and that might be exciting for a little bit but after a while it gets problematic and and it gets that's what we get the phone calls so in terms of being easy I I think if you have the right skills and tools it will be easy but if you want to put the effort into it that's the hard part if I can just call my wife today I asked her what what should I discuss at this panel and she said one of the ideas that people have it they don't have any patience anymore they want to get to the end result right away and the example that she gave is that sometimes we have a couple of months Pesach is coming and we want to get to the Pesach Seder we want everything to be perfect the house to be clean everyone all dressed up the Seder table everything is set everything is beautiful that's the ultimate goal but the question is how do you get to that point of sitting by the Seder all dressed up and ready to go was there frustration was there anger was the yelling and screaming was everyone getting upset to get to that point and then what are you left with okay you here by the stay there and you're enjoying yourself but you want to enjoy yourself the food is all there but the way to get at a point is problematic what lessons do you want to leave for your children what kind of idea do you want them to be remember about what the the you know preparations are all about and to say that was all about you want to give give them a good taste in their mouth if a person is willing to have a little bit of patience and understanding and work at it they're able to get that a point at the end [Music] [Applause]