Shavuot: The Deepest Secret of Spiritual Progress - Rabbi Yitzchak Breitowitz

[music] >> Shalom everyone. Uh we are approaching the wonderful, awesome holiday of Shavuot, the day that Hakadosh Baruch Hu revealed his presence to Am Yisrael and gave them the Aseret Hadibrot, which are the foundation of the Torah. Again, to correct a little bit of a misconception, although obviously we call Shavuot the day that we got the Torah, we didn't get the whole Torah on Shavuot. Obviously, Moshe Rabbeinu went up to Har Sinai for 40 days and got the Torah, but we consider it Matan Torah because uh number one, this was the mass revelation of God's presence, and number two, in the Aseret Hadibrot are in fact alluded all of the 613 mitzvot. In fact, the Ramban wrote a whole kuntres in which he shows how all of the 613 can be subheadings or subdivisions of the Aseret Hadibrot. But be it as it may, Shavuot was at least the beginning of the process that culminated in Matan Torah, and it is a great day, a holy day, an awesome day, a day of tremendous kedusha, and a day of tremendous simcha. I've noted already more than once in previous talks that the idea of Sefirat HaOmer, which are counting the days from Pesach to Shavuot, is connected to the notion that Pesach and Shavuot are essentially one long holiday. Pesach is the holiday of freedom, but freedom is not only worthless but even destructive unless it is linked to accepting God's will in our lives. And therefore, as the Ramban writes, the period of Sefiras HaOmer is actually a long Chol HaMoed connecting the holiday of freedom with the holiday of Torah. I'd like to highlight today a little bit of a different comparison or contrast between Pesach and Shavuot and what it is exactly that we're going to be focusing focusing on. And this is from Rav Nachman of Breslov, who was a great-grandson of the Baal Shem Tov, and he brings the following question in the name of his of the Baal Shem Tov himself. And we might call this the problem of diminishing returns in the spiritual world. That often, when a person is new to Torah and they first start keeping Shabbos or kashrus or davening, there's a certain type of excitement, a certain lightness, a certain vividness, in which every mitzvah is so wonderful and gishmack, and there's so much passion, and there's so much enthusiasm. And then what happens is, as time goes on, we might lose that enthusiasm, we might lose that passion, and the mitzvahs themselves do not seem to be as fascinating as they were when I started my journey. Why should there be diminishing returns? Now, you might give a very simple answer. It is human nature that the longer you do something, the less novel it is, and as a result, it simply becomes bored boring or habitual. Well, that might be true for a lot of things, but l'chora, it should not be true for mitzvahs, because if every mitzvah brings me closer to God, then how can it be possible that the more mitzvahs I do, the less close I am to Hakadosh Baruchu? That doesn't make sense. The more mitzvahs I do, the closer I should be to God. So, the Baal Shem Tov answered this with a very fascinating mashal. Imagine you have a baby, and the baby is learning to walk. So, initially, the baby is 18 months or whatever, the parents are holding the baby by the his or her shoulders, and the baby takes a step, and then takes another step, and another step, and walking seems to be fun and easy. And then, at some point, the parents feel that the baby is ready to walk on his own, so they let go. Now, what immediately is going to happen is the baby is going to fall. Plop, plop, plop, plop. Now, I do want to digress for a moment. That is one of the great miracles of human nature is that no matter how many times the baby falls, the baby will pick himself up again and again and again. And uh this is an amazing thing, because that shows us that human beings are hardwired to never give up. I remember my own son was learning how to crawl. This is even before he was walking. And crock uh crawling was so laborious. He was pulling his weight across the floor. He was grunting and moaning and straining. And I was thinking to myself, "Why doesn't he just go back to his crib, and he can play with his toys? What is making him move forward? What is making him go through so many contortions?" And the answer is, God built into the human nature to grow and to accomplish and to never give up. And if later, as we grow older, we get discouraged, we give up, that is an acquired behavior. That is not the innate behavior of what God put into us. So, in many, many ways, looking at a child learning to crawl and then learning to walk is very inspiring because it reminds us not to give up. Now, that was a little digression, but to go back to the main muscle, the Baal Shem Tov says, "If the baby could verbalize his thoughts, his or her thoughts, the baby might think, 'Why was it so easy a few moments ago to walk and now it's so difficult? Why is it getting more difficult to walk?'" But the answer is, "It was easier to walk because your parents were holding on to you. Now, your job is to internalize what your parents were showing you and make it your own accomplishment." Says the Baal Shem Tov, "In spiritual growth, it is very much the same thing. Initially, when a person has not been living a life of mitzvot, and in some ways they are far from Hakadosh Baruchu, Hakadosh Baruchu carries them, he lifts them up, he shows them the greatness of Shabbos, the beauty of tefillah, the magnificence of mitzvahs, and the person feels elevated and excited and passionate. But then, Hakadosh Baruchu shows, 'I've shown you what you're capable of becoming. Now, I'm going to put you on the ground, and it's your job to become it.' And just as Abba and Imma are still with the child even when they let go, to be sure that the child progresses properly and doesn't get hurt, so of course Hashem is with us every step of the day, step of the way. But on some level, he lets go a little bit. So we can internalize the gifts that he gave us. So says the Baal Shem Tov, and Reb Nachman elaborates on this, counterintuitively, when a person encounters difficulties in Avodas Hashem, when a person feels they are regressing, when a person feels they no longer have the passion and gishmak that they once had, perhaps it is God's vote of confidence that he lets go a little bit so we internalize that mida by ourselves, even though that means we will stumble and fall because we no longer have the artificial high of Hashem holding us up. A very similar thought is said by the Baal HaTanya, Reb Shneur Zalman of Liadi, the first Rebbe of Chabad, in which he explains that this is fundamentally the difference between Pesach and Shavuos. Pesach was a redemption that we really did not earn. It was a gift. It was a freebie because of God's love for us and God's covenant to the forefathers. Number one, we should have been in Mitzrayim 400 years. We were only taken out after 210 years. Number two, we had reached the 49th level of tumah, of impurity. Uh in fact, according to the Arizal, the the reason why we didn't have time to let our dough rise and become chametz is not only because Paro was kicking us out, but in ways we don't even understand, had we stayed another minute, the few moments that it takes for dough to become chametz, we would have hit the 50th level and we would have been irredeemable. And that's the 1/5 that survived. The 4/5 that died in the plague of darkness, in fact, had hit the 50th that So it turns out that Pesach >> [snorts] >> was something we were not really ready for. That's the meaning of chipazon. We left in a rush. We really didn't have time to make it our own. And Hashem showed us the makos, and Hashem showed us kriyas Yam Suf, and chazal say what the maidservants saw on the Yam Suf, even the greatest of the prophets, Yechezkel, who saw the divine throne, the kisei hakavod, did not perceive. So, Pesach represents God lifting us up beyond our capacity to show us the greatness of Hashem and the sweetness of Torah and the gishmat. But then, after Hashem lifts us up, he puts us down on the ground and says, "I've taken you to the highest mountain. I've shown you what you can become. I've shown you the treasures that are there. But now, it's your job to become that person by making it your own. So, unlike Pesach, which is chipazon, a sudden redemption, the process coming to Shavuos is an incremental, sequential series of step-by-step-by-step movements towards God. And indeed, in which every single day has a unique spiritual exercise. Without uh being able to elaborate on all of this, we know that the seven weeks of the omer are connected to seven divine emanations of energy, loving kindness and strength and beauty and eternity and glory and foundation and kingship. And each day within the week corresponds. So, you have the seven sefiros in macro, covering the week, and then within each of the seven sefiros in micro, you have a particular day. There are beautiful books out there. Uh both in Hebrew and in English that take these spheres and they try to show the particular spiritual exercise that one should engage in as they prepare for Matan Torah. But whatever it is, the point is, unlike Pesach, which has a suddenness and a chipazon, a hurriedness, in which God lifts us up, Shavuot, we move ourselves towards Hashem. And in spiritual growth, sometimes it is two steps forward and one step back. And sometimes it is one step forward and two steps back. There are going to be defeats. There are going to be challenges. There are going to be moments where we don't always feel inspired and there're going to be moments that we falter and we fail. But the most important point is, like the child learning to walk, don't give up. Keep on going. Remember, Hashem showed you on Pesach what you can become. But now the job is >> [snorts] >> to become it. And the Baal Hatanya says, this is exactly why the counting of the Omer is the second day of Pesach because it's a new level. The first day of Pesach is the redemption that is given you to that by God. On the second day, you start the process of making it your own. And he says, this is the meaning of the verse in Shir Hashirim, which is the beautiful allegory of God's relationship to the Jewish people and the passionate love that exists between God and us and us and God. And the woman that's Knesset Yisrael cries out to her beloved, which is the Almighty. Moshcheini acharecha, pull me after you. Narutza. So we will run. So says the Zohar Hakadosh. Pull me after you is a reference to Pesach. We will run is a reference to Shavuos. Pesach, God pulled us. We were not ready. We were being dragged like a sack of potatoes. But through the process of the spiritual work of Sefiras HaOmer and Shavuos, we kind of run with the Almighty. And there's a saying, I think it's a secular saying, but it makes sense. What you are is God's gift to you. But what you do with what you are is your gift back to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Pesach is what God gave us. Shavuos, although God, of course, gave us the Torah, but the most important point is, what do we give back? How do we internalize the Torah of Hashem? You know, there's an old Chassidishe vort, people ask the question in the Birkos HaShachar, in the morning brachos of every day, so we recite the negative, you know, blessed are you, Hashem, who did not make me a non-Jew. Baruch Hashem, you did not make me a non-Jew. You gave me the privilege of being a Yid. So the question becomes, without getting into all of the halachic details, why do we accentuate the negative? Thank you for not making me a Why don't I say, thank you for making me a Jew? She'asani Yisrael, asani Yehudi. Yeah, there are some opinions that actually have that, but we don't pasken that way. And the old Chassidishe vort is, God does not make you a Jew. You make yourself a Jew. Meaning, you thank God by not making me a guy, he gave me the potential to become a Jew. But whether I become a Jew depends on the life that I live and the choices that I make. I make myself a Jew by choosing to live by Hashem's Torah, to follow Hashem's Torah, to grow in my both bein adam l'makom, between man and God, and equally so in my bein adam l'chavero, my care and concern and my compassion for every Jew and really every human being in a way, and that's how I become a Jew. You're not just born a Jew. You're born with the potential to become a Yid, and now it's our job to become it. And that is the relationship of the Pesach and Shavuos. Pesach is the [snorts] initial enthusiasm of God holding me up and showing me what I can become. Sefiras HaOmer and Shavuos is taking those beautiful ideas and translating them into the very, very difficult decisions of everyday life, in which there will sometimes be defeat and sometimes there will be discouragement, but keep going and you will find the way to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Because above all, Hakadosh Baruch Hu values our efforts to connect to him. And he who tries to connect to Hashem will surely find that connection. Chag sameach.