Saving Our Marriage - Rabbi Yaron Reuven

[Music] so the question is why do we need to be religious but not just religious religious meaning with the omit with the Torah and meats vote with the shemitah and not some idolatry that's out there in the world or some type of cult but much how can we connect to a Shem and why should we why should we now anyone that's done chuva can tell you that doing chuva is very difficult in the beginning because you pretty much have to admit that everything you've believed your whole life whether it's 20 30 40 50 or 60 years has been a lie so your whole world collapses immediately why because you realize everything you knew to be true is actually false but why should somebody make such a move why should we do such a thing why should we turn our worlds upside down now if you look at just simple recent history you'll see that before the world that we live in today before the Western world became so predominantly atheist and people that are just going against a Shem in different ways even in the name of religion before that you saw that marriages actually survived but not only survived divorce was a bad word if someone got divorced everyone would know and would literally frown upon it it would be an art of like what do you mean why are you getting divorced what's wrong did you cheat did you lie like why would you get divorced divorce was unheard of simply because everyone knows you have problems in marriage it happens this ups and downs sometimes you love sometimes you're not exactly enough but nonetheless this ups and downs like in any relationship in the world the point of every relationship is for the two people to make the best out of it by making each other better not making ourselves better making each other better meaning bring the best out of each other by making one plus one equal three not one plus one equal to because that makes us individuals by making one plus one equal to more than just what we would be by ourselves nonetheless when we were connected to a Shem we had an instruction manual that told us that slung bite is so significant a Shem is willing to change the truth if you will for it one man said that happened that we learn about incest hillbilly sheet was when the angels came Tov lama vino and he told listen a Shem said that next year this time next year you're gonna have a son now his wife saga there was kodesh coda she left she left why she left she said how am I going to have a son with a husband that's old so Shem came to Rama V new and he says why did said I laugh why did say I laugh why did she laugh saying that I can't have any children or that how could I have any children when I am so old she didn't say I am sold she actually said my husband is sold y de leche unchanged the truth if you will he changed it because or avoided mentioning that specific sentence he changed it simply because he knew that if he told of Rama V know that his wife thought he was old it creates lung bite issues so it didn't need to be stole - it didn't need to be told it's just she did something that wasn't good it doesn't necessarily mean that we need to know all the details it's wrong enough we understand that when we ever tell her we've Emmanuel we have a manual that tells us that we have to survive we have to struggle together we have to survive together we have to enjoy together we don't we don't live like the that are pretty much here today gone tomorrow we don't have this mentality as Jews that you know the the relationship is no different marriage is no different than a boyfriend/girlfriend this is why in Judaism there's no living together before you get married if you're gonna be married you're gonna be married it's not you're not gonna be together for five or ten years and then decide if you like each other so you look at it statistically and you see that the divorce rate over the last hundred years to say it increased is an understatement at this point in the Western world over eighty percent eighty percent of the couples get divorced this is an awful statistic so much so that it's almost to a point where you might as well not get married because you should already plan your second wedding they said there was a man say well one rabbi sister love me see me again I love Shalom he says them what I have I'm telling you I think I'm gonna start a new business what's the new business you have a business you have a wedding hall it goes gee I think I'm gonna start a new business what's the new business I'm gonna start a divorce hall why there's many more people getting divorces and there is people getting married so the point is our bowtie is that when we don't have the instructions we have no idea how to be husband so we have no idea how to be wives we don't have no idea to be anything when you have the Torah you know that the sheet oh my let the Shem first of all you have to be afraid of a Shem you need to know a Shem is watching why is that important to be afraid of a Shem because if a Shem is watching if that's the sign of wisdom that means that before I yell at my wife I'm gonna take some doesn't like it before I steal a son doesn't like it before I get angry before I become stingy before I do anything that we all know is wrong inside us we all know is wrong i'ma say he's watching on top of it on top of it I know that there's a mission out it says ish ish as the host finna be named that when a husband and a wife have a merit of having slum bite the Sheena of a Shem comes down just like it did at Mount Sinai so anyone that wants miracles anyone that wants all the good things in the world the number one job they have every morning aside from honoring a Shem is to work on their relationship it's a full-time job and to make sure that that relationship not only survives but prospers [Music] you [Applause]