Rosh Hashanah: My Genuine Identity - Rabbi YY Jacobson

okay welcome everybody thank you for gracing us with your presence I want to wish everybody an amazing New Year blessed healthy prosperous joyous to you your families your loved ones and all of our people and all good people in the whole world and it should be finally a year of true Victory and true Redemption amen and Hashem shall fulfill all of your heart's Des desires personally and whatever you need whatever you want for you and all of your precious ones B next week there will also be a class so that's going to be next Tuesday as well 9930 and uh and the week afterwards as well right yes okay sometimes TI doesn't work out you know Tuesday is holiday but this year we get to learn about the so that's very exciting also this we begin so we usually have a pre with words of inspiration and some song before at 10:00 10:30 uh p.m. it's 20 upstairs that's the next building 20 upstairs there's a there's a section for men and for women so everybody is invited or you could watch it online on the yeshiva.net that's mat shabas 10:30 hasem okay today's class is dedicated by Cindy Bernstein in memory of mos y Ben May the study of T be on his behalf to elevate his soul his thank you it's also dedicated by Helen dim in honor of our bra soldiers protecting our people and our Holy Land it's also dedicated by Dr y by is and Kaplan and this is in honor of a Commencement Address given by Yours Truly to the wartz Wier Social Work graduating class offering an important profound and Powerful message for all mental health clinicians to be sensitive to okay so he dedicated the class so that you should listen to another class which is very important this was a few weeks ago I had the privilege of giving them a commencement address and we have the privilege of having one of the pillars of M Ritson Klein whose mother's Y is today is today okay I also want to dedicate it for a complete and speedy recovery toon Ben s his wife is here with us today as well and everybody for all your needs and blessings okay we're going to have a deep class today um what okay you're very kind she says every week is a deep class okay thank you thank you we try we try but this week may be a little deeper the reason I'm saying this is you could judge it by yourself right but uh the reason is that sometimes you know we hear a new concept and it's very easy to say okay I'm not going to get this this is beyond my pay grade so I'm just uh saying that no you'll get item but there's going to be some new Concepts new words new phrases new ideas so just uh as they say stay tuned and with God's grace we'll be able to understand whatever we need to understand or whatever our soul is ready to absorb today the The Source sheet I prepared today is a discourse from a sa called was is comprised of discourses spiritual discourses by the Bal by the AL of the author of the T and the was born 1745 passed away 1812 and his is on the parus and on the holidays so there's a section on r as you see on the top look at page the discourse begins on the which is of course a a chapter inim 130 which we're going to say the custom is to say from R all the way through Kipper every single day it's a special song which speaks about the fact that we reach out from our depth is from the word which means from our depth that's what it's focused on I took out one section from this discourse copy and paste it's not the whole thing it's just one section that really allows us to understand in a very very authentic and extremely moving and meaningful way what the whole process of Chua looks like what chuva means and he takes it really to the next level understanding chuva not only as a more concrete way which is also part of chuva you know you say I say I'm sorry I'm remorseful I apologize I regret the past I make a resolution of cabala for the future I confess those are all what we know the aspects of chva but really taking cha back to its core its pristine idea to really understand what is behind the whole experience of CHA which is the focus of course of this time of the year when we begin and then go into and then CH the days of repentance which are called the days of chva and then finally in Kipper which the rambam describes as the ultimate and Crescendo the Zenith of the experience of he says it's K like the highlight and the end of all forgiveness in order to understand this like everything you could look at the symptoms or you can go back all the way to the beginning so here the balat the alter as he's known goes back all the way to the beginning and as you could see even the question is a fascinating question so I'm going to read it inside and then explain one needs to if you don't understand a word or anything feel free to ask we need to understand what is this concept called of course we call Souls is of the Jewish people of the Jew but what is a what do we mean when we speak about a a soul what what is it the it's not as the world thinks which world is he talking about he's talking about the world the world world says very common thing of saying what's a is it's life it's a life force it's Consciousness it's SE it's a mind there's awareness which is exists in a person everybody body as in b o d y everybody as in everybody but also everybody as in every body every gof every single individual physiological organ ISM it has a life force that's why we are alive and we attribute that to the comes from the wordima which means breath it's the breath of life we inhale we exhale and that allows us to experience that's says life and also SE it's not just there's life in sense that there's movement and there physiological or biological functions that's true but there's also awareness we have a mind there's Consciousness so those are the two words he uses a life and awareness and you will say that this mind even allows us to comprehend or to detect or to know or to deduce and have a certain understanding that there is a God there Hashem there's a Creator just like you can understand other things with this mind so the Nish you would say is our life force and our mind and our Consciousness and it happens to me that with this mind with this brain which has a mind you can comprehend at some level at least the existence of a God the existence of a Creator just like you can comprehend other things says this does not sum up what a is it's an aspect of it as we will see it's of course an aspect of the N it gives us life it gives us Consciousness it allows us to think reflect things to understand things it allows us to have this conversation right now it allows us to look inside and have what we would call a certain form of self-awareness but this does not sum up what the the core of the nisham is the real deeper definition of a is that it's actually a piece of hasem this is an expression in the job is an expression in the P but it's used also to describe what theam is would mean like so to speak a derivative of hasem a derivative of of of the Infinity of hashem's reality so it's like a piece like a fragment if you could use that word I know the English word fragment doesn't really apply here but the concept it's a fragment it's a spark it's a which completely transcends intellect because intellect logic was created by Hashem so God is Not intellect SE is a property it's a reality it's an entity he created stones mountains Seas oceans also created something called logic logic itself is a creation so it's beyond so it's also Beyond true we have a mind we have awareness we have Consciousness we understand things we can even understand a lot about Hashem or that there is a God like he said before but essentially what's a it's pure it's like it's a piece of divinity it's like a it's Hashem himself piece of Hashem himself but this when you say that the world says that the Nish is a life force and awareness it's not just the world outside it's also the Jewish World it says in that this is what a soul is so he says it's not a contradiction the truth is is the father of the Jewish people has two names for a certain point of his life his name is yov then at some point he goes on a journey and he gets a name change he and in fact this becomes the name of the Jewish people we are called am is our homeland our Eternal Homeland is called erit is our T is called Tas is we are called B is the children of is or Israel Isel but that was a name change later in life so these two names of the Father the patriarch who fathers all of the TW shatam all of the 12 tribes from which we are all descendants every single Jew is a descendant of Yu of course you also have those who converted so they became Jewish but the the the G genealogy of the Jewish people comes from yov there's two names yov and so he says the has these two Dimensions there's the soul that's called Yakov and there's the soul that's called is and that's what we're going to understand that there's two aspects of the Soul when we speak about a soul there's the Yakov Dimension and there's the is dimension what are these two dimensions in the S there are two aspects when we talk about Hashem one is called and one is called this term comes from the Z it's a cabalistic term it could seem very confusing because it's like a new term we're not so used to it at least some of us are not so used to it but he's going to explain what this means what do the words mean in in Hebrew a d is called a because it turns around means around right means to go around so literally means he surrounds the worlds comes from the word Mal filling right like Mal this cup is Mal May means he fills means he fills the worlds so what's the difference between he surrounds the worlds and he fills the worlds it's not a difference in a spatial he's not trying to explain this from a physically spatial perspective I could be around the T I could walk around the table or I can go into the table it's not what we're talking about or I can hold the cup around the cup right or I can put my hand in the cup which I'm not going to do it's actually it's metaphoric when you say he surrounds the worlds or he fills the worlds it's actually talking about two aspects in which we can EXP erence or we can relate to and he says something very fascinating very very deep when you talk about there's no change from pre-creation to postc Creation because he saturates he fills all the worlds the highest and the lowest in an identical fashionle it's like a circle it's like a circle that the entire circle is uniform the circle doesn't get interrupted when it comes to the lower part of the circle the entire circle is one long Circle uninterrupted all connected in fact you can't even say this is right this is left this is high this is low like if you turn it around it's not going to be any difference the lowest part of the circle and the highest top part of the circle are all the same everything is exactly the same it's not like other shapes where if you turn it in a different direction this is here this is there this is the beginning this is the middle This is the End where's the beginning where's the middle where's the end in a circle wherever you want you could say this is the beginning of the circle you could say this is the beginning of the circle you could say this is the top of the circle this is the end of the circle this is the middle of the circle that's exactly the point that there's no beginning there's no end so is like a circle meaning not that it's around the world it's not in the world it's that everything is part of that Oneness there's no can say this is a higher place this is a lower place it's all completely one it's beyond intellect it's also Beyond time he was he is he will be the past the present and the future are all one and in every single moment this is not something that my anal my my Discerning mind is going to comprehend cuz my mind likes categories it likes definitions it likes to place things in context this is past this is present this is future this is this place this is that place it gives identity to things that's what the Mind does that's what the mind is good at here you're talking about pure Infinity so it completely transcends the mind so it completely transcends any definitions any categories including space and time this is called the change of creation happens not on a level of only on the level of M which fills the worlds meaning our sages say hasem created the world through 10 utterances which means the energy evolved there's an utterance let there be light there was light let there be a Heaven There was a heaven and the change comes from the recipients every World receives the energy that it could comprehend based on its identity based on its intellect let me try to explain what he's saying here at least to some degree that we should be able to understand it when the Z says Hashem fills the worlds and Hashem surrounds the worlds so the real word is not surrounds but transcends the worlds everything when we look at reality we could look at it from two perspectives one is one is when I say something fills something else it means that it's contained by the thing that it's filling for example when I say that this cup is filled with water it means that the cup is containing the water if you'd put in this cup is I don't know what 8 ounces looks like it's 8 ounces if you're going to put in a whole gallon into this cup the cup won't be able to contain it the water will surround the cup it overflow the cup it be it won't be male male means it has to fit right I can't put on a shirt I can't put on a jacket that's much larger or too small because my body is not going to fit into it I need shoes that my legs my feet should be able to fill them so the shoes have to be a particular size so it's always the energy and the vessel have to match each other sometimes people are talking to us they're talking way above our heads I hope this class is not going to be that so it's like it doesn't fill it doesn't fill me if I'm talking to a student I'm talking to someone I want to explain something I always need to make sure that my words could be contained by the person's brain by the person's heart if not I'm speaking over their head like the information may be going over me or around me but it's not inside of me because I don't have the I don't have the k for it we all know in life people can sometimes tell us something about ourselves but we're just not capable of hearing it it ever that ever happened and then 10 years later you're like ah ah what happened in those 10 years I think Mark Twain once said you know when I was nine my father was a genius when I was 19 he was a today I'm 29 I have a couple of kids of my own and he's brilliant it's funny how much the old man learned in 10 years what happens is the information may be there I just may not be ready for it right we sometimes hear truths very very deep truths emotional truths about ourselves about our loved ones but if I'm not a for it right if I don't have the space for it you you may be giving me a gallon of water but I only got the capacity for 8 ounces so if you're giving me a gallon or you're giving me the Niagara Falls the Niagara Falls is a lot of water if you ever went to the Niagara Falls but you can't put it into this K I'm not going to be able to drink from it why because it's too intense it's too overwhelming so whenever you say male male means it's measured to the capacity of the container so if I'm writing or I'm speaking or I'm communicating or I'm connecting it would mean that I have to find out who this person is where they are what type of structure they have and I'm working within that structure that's what it means M you fill M with Hashem what does that mean there's the Divine energy that is tailor made and contracted and condensed to be able to fill every container for an ant to be an ant if the ant would experience the full consciousness of infinity how can it be an ant the brain of an ant is designed in a way that it can experience itself like an ant now I don't know what it is to live like an ant but an ant is not a squirrel an ant is not an elephant an elephant is not a star and a star is not a black hole and a lioness is not a mouse and a deer is not a black beer or a groundhog I'm just talking about the animals we see uh sometimes in our backyard well I'm talking about the beer and the groundhog and the deer so and each one has its own Consciousness how it sees life how it perceives life what is the goal of life whether it's searching for food whether it's propagating Etc and each brain is designed differently everyone has its own unique DNA and it's all Divine energy it's all Divine there's no other source of energy the Sun and the Moon and every molecule and every atom every neuron every cell it all has its unique structure and that's all m is the way the Divine energy is condensed and contracted to be able to form this type of creature whether it's inanimate whether it's part of the vegetation world whether it's the animal kingdom whether it's the human being even a human being what makes the difference between one person and another person right the fact is that 99% of our DNA and the DNA of chimpanzees are the same 50% of our DNA we share with a banana so when next time you look at a banana 50% is exactly identical but still I don't call myself a banana there's a difference because and even within people we are so similar but yet you know how different one person is from another person but that little tiny difference that little tiny fraction of difference in sequence in your DNA makes literally the entire distinction between one human being and another human being and even twins twins who could be similar in so many ways and look identical and everybody besides the family mistakes one for the other there's no two people who are the same and that's because there is a unique Divine imprint that makes you you and me me and that little tiny difference is the uniqueness of each person and that's mik that's the way the Divine energy is emerges to create this unique chemistry this unique K this unique container and from here comes the diversity in the entire world in the entire universe so Hashem said let there be light and there was light he said Let There Be Heaven and there was Heaven Let There Be the Sun and there was the sun let there be the moon Let There Be animals fish Birds NASA let there be a human being and each bird itself is unique there's no two birds that are the same just like there's no two flakes of snow or grains of sand or droplets of water that are the same even if they're similar so that's incredible because it's the way the energy evolves and descends and fills up everything according to its capacity so it's like the energy filling this cup is different than the energy filling a bottle physically and spiritually as well this is called mik this is clear what's of kalalan what is of of kalalan actually means that the energy Hashem himself hashem's energy himself is absolutely infinite and it's one and it encompasses all of time and all of space but it transcends all of time and all of space and this is it's like the circle on top and the bottom it's exactly the same so this is we're talking about the infinite hashem's presence that includes everything and everywhere that everything is subsumed in that infinite Oneness in other words the way mman works is that hashem's energy is concealed and condensed and restricted to be able to create the individual creature called me or the individual creature called you or the individual creature called the squirrel or the ant or the butterfly or the Bee or the mosquito or the Sun an ant is not a son why they both come from the same Source but there's a unique energy that develops this particular type of creature this particular type of existence but let's go back how is it before creation what was before creation before creation it was means Hashem is infinite how do I Define it I can't Define I don't know what it's I don't know how can Define my my definition itself is a creation so how could definition Define the Creator it's impossible defin how I don't Define it it defines me I don't Define it so we have to understand something of didn't get obliterated with creation it's still there so the difference between pre creation and post creation is only on a level of malal on the level of the same infinite Oneness still exists and there all the definitions and all of existence is subsumed in Oneness so it would be a badge of this right if I'm talking I'm communicating something those words before I communicated them where were they they were inside of me my breath I may exhale that breath before I communicated it it was inside of me but it wasn't separate it was inside I don't I don't know where my breath is my breath is part of me it's subsumed inside of me it's like the ray of the sun when it's still inside the Sun where is it it's in the sun when it comes out of the sun Suddenly It's a ray there's vitamin D It's Hot it gives growth vegetation it gives energy it gives electricity it's amazing the ray of the sun inside the Sun itself the ray of the sun is subsumed in this solar core so the same is true here when we talk about Malala is the way the energy of Hashem is articulated and condensed into a cup or into a bottle or into a table or into a tree right but in my case the words left my mouth in the source it never left him actually so even after it comes out to be condensed it's still in the source and in the source everything is just pure infinity and because everything is pure Infinity so the highest world and the lowest world are all one and the same that his full infinite presence is there Satur ating everything without no distinction without any distinction that's why it's called doesn't mean it's around it's not inside but the way it's inside is not in a way that it's condensed and limited to the particular structure of what we're talking about but rather everything is subsumed and just an expression of infinite Oneness exactly the way it was before creation so the difference of pre-creation and post-creation is based on how I perceive reality pre creation all of reality was just him after creation Hashem condenses his energy so I could say this is me this is you this is you but on the level of he says pre-creation and postc creation is exactly the same why is it exactly the same because it's all part of infinite Oneness without any distinction so this is what means when you say is to give an example from a person just to make it a little clearer we have it also within a person and that's what we're going to now get to how this is reflected in a person as he says in the next paragraph This is not just an abstract idea the soul of a person also has these two dimensions and Al that's why the P says in and this happened on you hear the redundancy hasem created and together in His image and then it says in the image of he created him you already said why repeat you already said it could have said created in His image but then the T repeats but elim it was in the image of elim the answer is because there's two aspects in Adam one aspect of is one aspect of is two separate things they're not really separate but they're experienced as two separate things that's what we're talking about the two names when you say he created that's him it's not that's the name yov what's the difference between these two aspects of the Soul so he says is yov is a combination of two words why was Yakov called yov says because his hand y was holding on to the aave ASV was holding on to the heel of his brother as he was coming out of his mother's womb of rifka's womb he was is holding on to the heel of his twin brother so they named him which is y his hand y isave it's holding on to the heel so it's yud a it's also the yud the letter yud coming all the way down to the AK the AK is the lowest part of the body y represents he says is the smallest letter in the Hebrew alphabet it's also the first letter of hashem's name yud Y and and and it represents in represents which is the first glimmer of Consciousness so it's very small it's like when you have an epiphany like the light bulb goes off in your brain you know that moment like boom like something came in for a moment it's like a yud it's like a spark a glimmer of Consciousness the first glimmer of Consciousness is always called you that's why it's very very tiny and then it develops so yud is that's the it's the awareness of comprehending of realizing that there is godliness in the world and then you have what gives life to the entire body and all of the limbs and that's like the heel of the Soul it's like the legs of the soul the Y comes down into a the word is is a combination of two words Le my head so Yakov is the heel is the word is so you have the two words which is my head or a head to me right soov is the heel is is the head this is the that transcends the body and even transcends the mind it transend and this state of the soul is it's one it's singular it's interconnected and intimate and one with Hashem without any separation under any circumstances and this state exists in every single soul even the most lightheaded of people you will still say that this is true that this of the soul is completely one with hem doesn't the say that sometimes the soul gets cut off so how could you say that the soul is completely one with Hashem without any separation when there's something called KES which means the soul is cut off because sometimes when a person perform certain very very heinous transgressions it's called there's a penalty of which means is to cut off the soul gets cut off so how could you say this so he says this is only on the level of that could be a cut off but on the level of there can't be a separation it's impossible because that's rooted not in but in so whenever we speak about in you always have to know what are you talking about you're talking about yov or you're talking about is what is the balat teaching here what we spoke about Hashem the two aspects and is also true in our own soul when we speak about self or self-awareness I have to ask am I speaking about or am I speaking about what's the difference in each of our souls we could speak about two things one is the way I process myself to myself that's the way my soul is limited in my identity so I could talk about me I can think about me I can analyze me I can dissect me this is the way the soul comes down into a way that there's something called my personality my individuality and here one person is very different than another person that's the way the soul reflects mman the way the Divine energy fills the world and everything it fills differently in other words it's condensed and it's contained within a particular parameter and measurement what about ofan ofman we said is the pure Infinity of hem that transcends time transcends space it's like the circle in the highest place and in the lowest place it's all the same because it's all oness and there's no distinction this is the level of the Soul not what's the difference between and there's one aspect of the self that reflect his image there's another aspect of the self that reflect the image of elim when you speak about hashem's names there's the name of yut and there's the name of elim the name of yut is ha of a year he was he is and he will be the name elim represents Tsum condensing concealment in fact the word elim is 86 is numerology of8 numerology of 86 which is the same numerology like the word the nature because nature conceals the divine presence in nature the word comes from the word when somebody drowns it's called why when somebody's under the water you can't see them SOA conceals it drowns out the Divine energy that's why it's called tuu it's like the Divine energy is there but it's drowned so that's so there's two aspects to there's the and there is the soul being in His image is the soul being in the image of elim which conceals the name of hav it sayses Hashim is like the sun and the shield of the sun the sun has a SE that protects the sun if not we wouldn't would be too intense so Hashem the name the name is like the Son and the mug and the shield of the son so the soul also has and in a person's life what does this mean when I speak about the self there's two self I can talk about and they're both very real one is the self that reflects Salim and one is the self that reflects just like we spoke inem there's and so is the way the Divine energy is contained in vessels and therefore everything is different than everything is unique and everything is individuated and you can't compare the there's 10 utterances what of the way the Divine energy is in its Pure Source where everything is infinite and everything is subsumed in that Infinity it's like when the bread is still inside of you it's like when the words are still inside of you it's like when the ray of the sun is still inside of the Sun so the same is true with the there's the way the Nisha comes out in a conscious way and then there is the concept of me as an individual trying to figure out who I am and who I'm not but there's the higher level of the Nish and that's the is of the Nish the higher level of the Nish is this level of the Nish is purely one with ins it's purely infinite as he puts it its entire entity is that it's pure Infinity it's pure infinite Consciousness without any separation from Hashem in any single in any way because it's a and that's why the soul has two names Y and yov is the way the comes into it comes down into the heels just like by a person there's the way the energy comes down all the way till my legs till the bottom that's is L it's the head so the soul when you look at the soul you can look at two aspects you can look at the way the soul comes down and is manifested all the way down to its legs spiritual legs akev yov or you could look at the head of the Soul which is like the source of the soul the origin of the soul the beginning of the Soul like the r which is the beginning of Consciousness is a seed of Consciousness what would be the difference in Souls there's the way the energy is myal and the way it fills my body and every limb gets its own unique energy and my mind has its own Consciousness and I'm aware of myself and here I experience myself as a separate person but then there is also the source of the Soul which is that's a it transcends time it transcends intellect and this is always D you can't be separated from Hashem how could you be separated when you are Hashem you can't be separated I can only be separated from something that is not me but I can't be separated if that is me it's like how can I it's like I'll try not not to be me how do you try not to be you how do you do that you know I can make believe I'm not me but I can't be not me since this part of the soul is ain't so it's pure Infinity there's nothing you can do to separate it so when he when we speak about courage when we speak about cutting off the soul you have to know what you're talking about you can only cut off the part of the soul the way I'm experiencing my soul that could be cut off that I don't experience myself as part of Infinity but on the level of is you can't get cut off cuz that is who the soul is the only difference is in the aave in other words the way I experience myself I can experience myself as detached I can experience myself as blocked I can experience myself as not interested I can experience myself as wounded but that's my own understanding and experience of the self that's called yov over there there could be different levels of blockages but on the level of is there's absolute Oneness and there's nothing even a person can do to get rid of that oness cuz that is just the reality the reality is that you are a derivative of Infinity so that's why we have these two aspects which correspond to and and that's why the says was and then now both things are very true because it's not like one is real and one is fake we said for a a moment before that in there's no difference pre-creation and post creation right that's why we say in the morning remember you were there pre-creation you were there post creation it doesn't just mean you were always around it means that there is a state of reality where pre-creation and post-creation are M much the same but yet the tah says hasem created the world so which one is it the answer is both of course are extremely true they're both very very real realities there is a state of reality in which nothing changed after creation the same the same Oneness of infinity pre is still here now so you say R what are you talking about so why are you standing and talking before creation you would also stand and talk before creation you're also sitting in a building I mean who you fooling who we lying to like what does this mean right so it we we really have to understand what this means what this means is in this state of a everything is part of a it didn't change anything right which it's just what changes our perception creation changed our perception of reality because Hashem allows his energy to be concealed and be restricted but if you if if there's an expression in English if all the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear as is infinite if all the doors of perception were cleansed you would see everything is divine energy everything is a manifestation of divine energy and that Divine energy is past present future and it's beyond the mind it's beyond intellect and there's absolute vus so pre-creation nobody doubted if there's anything outside of God of course there's nothing outside of God that is now here too so you say what do you mean that's not true there's a bottle of water the question is how you define the bottle of water I'm defining it the bottle of water because creation what creation did is it allowed me to say this is a bottle of water pre-creation was also a bottle of water but you know what it was called it was just an expression of hem creation allows me to say I am y Jacobson I have my ego I have my insecurities I have my fears you are you I am I that's what creation did this is heaven and this is Earth this is an animal and this this is a tree this is a friend and this is not a friend this is my house this is your house this is your mortgage that you got to take care of this is my mortgage that I got to take care of sometimes you want to go back to pre-creation and we we we can even understand this even in a more tangible way like really you know I end here I end here and You Begin here but we all understand that's extremely superficial because where did I get oxygen right now to inhale from do I really end here I mean I just took oxygen from here which came from there know we're all sharing the same oxygen so we're exactly do I end and where does the other person begin so the truth is there's two aspects there's one aspect in which I end here the other person begins here that's all but there's a deeper place of reality where creation did not change anything it's still a the power here is that the soul knows both of these things the experiences both levels there's a level ofus in the that's exactly the way it was pre-creation and that's it's a complete reflection and a mirror of that truth of this part of the is Beyond in doesn't have to understand is created it's much deeper than understanding it's pure Oneness it's pure attachment we don't even have a definition for it all we could say is it's beyond intellect it's beyond space it's beyond time and you can't say no I'm a I'm a low person in a circle there's no low you can't be low how could you be low pre-creation could you say I'm low there's no low there's no high it's all Infinity that's the idea of s it's all Infinity so you can't say I'm in a low place I am a damaged person the words I am damaged are postc creation words when we start defining Things based on definitions so this is damaged this is not damaged I am whole I am not whole I'm scared I'm not scared now it's important to discuss that cuz that's the playing field the sandbox in which we all live we're not going to make fun of that sandbox because it's important that's how we live but it's equally important to understand that that's all a manifestation it's a ray that was condensed and contracted to make the person I am today and that's the second level so it's almost like the soul has two aspects there's the head of the soul and there are the legs of the soul the head of the soul is pure pure Infinity nothing can ever change that nothing can separate it that's a place where you're not only connected to Hashem there's nothing outside of so it's complete Oneness he says that's like the famous that we say you know it's completely this complete complete complete not just cohesion not just connection but Oneness it's Inseparable that's the level of then there is the way that's the head of the Soul then there's the way the soul is manifested in the body and here we say okay now there's so many different parts to me there's so many different aspects to me there's different things that occur to me there's who I am there's what I understand there's what I don't understand there's the way it comes in that's y a that's the way the soul comes all the way from all the way down into aov that's Yakov of the soul and is is the L now we see actually in yakov's story he didn't get to is only after a long time because he had to go through a long journey of peeling the layers and layers and layers and layers and layers till you get to Isel cuz what happens in life is we all begin trying to figure ourselves out because we are cre conceived in a world where separation seems like the reality right I have to survive as a separate being that's what I know and sometimes I have to go through a long long long journey until I could peel away one layer and another layer and another layer and another layer and finally surrender to the place of is now the difference between yob and is is in is there's complete surrender there's no control there's no need for control in yov I have to hold on to my vessel so I try to control it in is there's a complete surrender because I don't need to control anything I can't control it I don't want to control it not only that there's no eye even to control I don't need to hold on to any eye any form of eye is control like what do what do you want to control something that doesn't exist but that's a very very deep level of awareness and that's what really happened to yakob on that mysterious night that's why he got his name on that mysterious night because what was really happening what was really happening is as the Torah says he met this mysterious adversary in middle of the night who tried to kill him and it was that struggle against death that actually allowed him to ReDiscover himself and surrender his entire previous image and that's often what happens I have to almost go back to that breaking point where I'm at the I'm at the brink of of of the abyss of like a brink of death brink of insanity to be able to stand there face it and let go until that point I may be protecting myself my whole life to protect my image to protect my yov to protect my K which is a very normal thing that's what I do and at that moment like yov is like either you ReDiscover yourself or you die you understand what I'm saying this is like a very very intense either you ReDiscover yourself or there's going to be nothing left it was a gift who was this man battling him the Torah doesn't say the Torah just says yob was alone he was completely alone in this mysterious person wrestles with him so we say it was the the the angel of as rash says it was s asov or different interpretations one of the deepest interpretations is there was a man alone he was alone L alone means nobody's there but yet somebody was wrestling with him so when you're alone and somebody is wrestling with you who do you think that somebody is yourself so this was an inner inner battle within Yakov himself and it was the defining Battle of his life and what happens in the next scene is right after that he was expecting a war with asov he prepared for war the next scene right after the story in asov Embraces him and they have this very very intimate moment of of affection and they hug each other and they cry on each other even ASA wants to live together with Yakov Yakov says we're not ready for that yet we still need some work to do one day we're going to come there one day I'll come to say now if we take this to a psychological and emotional and spiritual level this is like a very very deep moment of metamorphosis a deep moment of transformation where yakob is facing something inside of him that is so deeply troubling and so deeply disturbing and this person is wrestling with him wrestling with him and it's himself it's all himself and at the end of the night Yakov is limping he's maimed he's wounded later he would be healed but at that point he's wounded and then yov turns to this man and says bless me and he says what's your name he says your name is yob he says you have to change it to is the blessing is when you could change your name what type of blessing is that I asked you for br I didn't ask you for name change I come to somebody for a blessing don't start changing my name obviously this was the deepest form of blessing the deepest form of blessing is can you know who you are I can bless bless you and bless you and bless you and bless you but the biggest blessing is that's what a real BR is can you know who you are can you get to know who you are previously in yakov's life he's holding on to the hill of ASV that's how he's born he's holding on to asa's heel later he will buy asa's Birthright later he will take asa's blessings so the life is I'm holding on to a to the aov of ASV and at this moment he says let's change change your name you're not Yakov you're Isel you you wrestled with god with elim with people you prevailed you're not an a you're you're not a heel you're a head so this exists on many many different levels of how I could perceive myself from a certain perspective my entire life and then there comes a time where I'm challenged and I'm saying I'm going to die this not going to be anybody left unless I'm ready to shed this layer and attain a new name and sometimes it's really hard because if I got used to a certain identity I don't want to let go of that let's face it some of us have been through difficult challenges in life and those challenges become part of our story and it makes for one good dramatic story it's a very powerful story I have a story to tell and anybody I meet who wants to listen I will tell them that story and even if it's a very intimate and private story but the right people I'll tell the story it's not just I'm telling the story I'm living that story I am that story and I don't even know how to distinguish myself from it you know somebody once asked me a very deep question what would you be what would you be who would you be without your pain who would you be without stories about your past who would you be without all of these things sometimes we say I want to get rid of all of these stuff do you really want to get rid of all of these stuff am I ready to get rid of all these stuff am I ready to go back to that space am I really really ready am I even going to recognize myself what's going to happen with all the drama what's going to happen with all the Fan Fair you know some people became drama Kings drama queens even to themselves you know some people feel that I'm going to lose my personality my richness so much of your richness may be so intense and interesting and deep because of this dramatic story will you lose your ability to be a real poet will you lose that depth of spirit so sometimes we cling on to things we cling to things that we say I wish I never had it really so letting go of that name for a new name is a very very profound moment so now in every person's life we have these we have we have this struggle you know really really making peace with your deepest deepest core that is abely that is absolutely not wounded it's not wounded so you say but what do you mean I was wounded so he says yeah there could be a wound on the level of Yakov never on the level of is there could be a wound the way the soul is manifested into Consciousness so I could say I am a wounded person if we want to use if we want to use some different language for this we could say as follows the deepest Instinct the deepest Drive of every person is attachment it's not only of every person you see it even in the animal world every every creature needs attachment there's a reason for it the first thing it says Hashem saw the whole world is good the whole time the story of creation everything is good good Friday he creates it's unbelievable and then you look at what's is there ever going to be something that's not good so the first time it says what's the first thing that's you remember it's not good to be alone that's not good it's the first thing that's not good if the whole creation is good and that's the first thing that's not good you going to understand that that not good contradicts the whole creation that's the contrast why is that and the answer is because the whole creation is really about Hashem wanting attachment the med says he created the world he wanted a relationship he wanted attachment so attachment is the DNA it's the soul behind all of existence behind all of creation there's nothing outside of him so he's he's alone everything Infinity creation is I want a relationship with you I want a relationship with you that's attachment so we are designed on every level to seek attachment the animal Soul wants attachment The Godly Soul wants attachment we want attachment and that's why in the animal world everybody knows and in the human world those who you know when we're when we're healthy to see this attachment is the most important thing in the world when attachment is wounded when there's a rupture in attachment and usually that's the case because we're not perfect and we're sometimes pretty clueless too so we seek that attachment in different different ways so to give an example somebody uh once gave me a very powerful example a psychotherapist gave me you know if this if a child was seeking that attachment with their caregiver and the child may have smiled and reached out their hand and reached out their soul to get that love to get that attachment but they were reciprocated with a blank steer and the reason they were that blank St because that person may be overwhelmed may be stressed may be anxious may be worried may be in a different world may not have never gotten it for themselves they don't know what it is to give it to somebody else so they can't give that attachment that child still needs attachment and that child is going to look for ways that it could get attachment from this person or from somebody else it's not going to be that original attachment cuz that they could never get and another interesting thing is the child is not going to blame himself not going to blame the other person and say you know my mother and my father really went through their own tra and they just don't know how to be emotionally present that's not what the one-year-old is going to do one-year-old is not yet listening to these classes the one-year-old is actually going to do something much more tragic we're never going to blame the source of attachment because we don't want to lose it we blame ourselves the one-year-old says there's probably something shameful in this type of attachment so he'll never do that again maybe he's going to seek attachment through getting the best marks throughout all the years in school so that person will say wow you're such a good girl ah now I got my attachment but I didn't really get my attachment I got validation for doing well in school I never got the attachment that I was searching for in fact that attachment is shameful because it wasn't reciprocated so now imagine what happens in our psyche we develop all of these forms of attachment that are distortions of the real attachment that we're seeking and sometimes sometimes we're not even aware of anything of this and now there comes a point in life where I have to be able to face it because there was a rupture there was a rupture in that attachment why is attachment so important because it's that's a it's at the core of existence it's literally at the core of existence and to be able to be comfortable with that attachment is the core that's why you know it's so important I heard a recording of my wife's Tanya class this week so I'm going to going to steal something she said cuz it was brilliant in uh M F's home on Monday it's an amazing class by the way I don't go but I hear the recording much better than her husband so uh the wind beneath the wings so my wife said something very powerful I could callot my wife right it's actually it's actually a nice thing to do so one of the hardest things you see is how hard it is for people to literally sit with themselves for a few minutes like you could try it out you could try it out after this class or if you want to try it out now whenever try to sit for three four five minutes yeah without thoughts hijacking I have to do this I have to do this is coming we all know that I didn't do this yesterday the kala is burning the cleaning lady didn't come but to sit three four five minutes simply with yourself like with your soul in peace Inus it's very very hard for us to do we have come to learn that my job is always to take care of somebody else and there's always somebody to take care of and there's always a responsibility and it's amazing cuz everybody powerhouses and they do amazing things but to really cherish the fact that the world was created because Hashem wants a relationship with you with you he wants a relationship with you and the next five minutes are going to be only about that relationship that real real relationship of pure intimacy and want is and that's what the world was created for and there's nothing guilty about that I want you right that's what real daving is but we see how hard it is why is it so hard because there's all these voices of either responsibility or guilt or shame or just distractions they don't look like guilt and shame they're very sophisticated because we adopt that's how we survive we adopt we see it animals adopt whatever is available that's what they're going to take and we often don't realize how deep the wound is because what happened was I did not get that original connection and attachment and it's not a mistake this is part of my mission in life to heal these ruptures to heal this and to heal it takes a lot a lot of Courage so here we're learning something very powerful and that is all these cut offs all these ruptures could only happen on a level of Yakov never on a level of is can't happen on a level of is in other words your core Soul could never ever experience Detachment there's no such a thing the message that I experience Detachment is a message that I interpreted based on my finite experience of self where I am alone and I'm vulnerable and here I had to give interpretations to what's happening and I had to adopt and sometimes I have to my inner spiritual identity in order to be able to fit in like we spoke last week about the suit the whole story with the suit but but on a level of Isel yeah where I become emotionally out of sync with my own posture because there's a lot a lot of shame or a lot a lot of guilt or a lot a lot of pain and I even May develop all these types of instincts in my personality right to be able to fit in to the attachment that was available to me and these are called coping mechanisms and everybody has these coping mechanisms the animal Soul wants to be attached and if it doesn't have that attachment it will create coping mechanisms Maybe going to become the quintessential people's pleaser in man cuz I need everybody to tell me that I'm aade I need everybody to tell me that I'm a sadak okay I'm not a sadus I'm a sadak but you get my point or I'm going to be busy flattering or I become very aggressive I become confrontational I don't know how to be vulnerable how can I be vulnerable become an addict or I become an addict very good why for attachment I'm looking for attachment in all the fake counterfeit places or I become an addict to numb the pain of my existence or I look at asov whatever asov is and like he's my older brother right if I could only be like him ah my life would be incredible ASV was strong and goodlooking and amazingly successful he was a hunter he was out in the field you know ASV was fores 500 ASV was a powerful kid Andi he was passionate too right yeah ASV has a beautiful suit if I could could only fit into as of suit and there comes a point where like you're limping why you limping why you limping limping is not just physically limping we're talking about here emotionally limping limping means I cannot stand up in my posture there's no real self-respect there's no real self-respect because I don't even know or truly truly respect who I am instead I created all of these coping mechanisms and they could often be very aggressive or sometimes very holy but they're also copy mechanisms but not ready to really stand and face myself and touch that fabric of who I am and myus with my own and with hasem and then I may not even know about all these coping mechanisms that I developed and then when I go into a relationship with my children or with my spouse I I'm still busy coping so if my children are now triggering me because they're bringing up all these wounds cuz our children bring up everything bar that's why God created them in our lives so they could bring up every insecurity right instead of looking at my children I'm like well saying thank you wow you're bringing amazing awareness instead I'm like why can you give me Nas change the question children were not created to give Nas sorry children help me become the person I'm supposed to become you want to educate your children learn how to educate yourself that's the most powerful thing in the world they will become who they need to become and I want to show up for them they don't have to show up for me my children are not responsible to make me feel good about myself cuz I'm a wounded father this may be unpopular to say but this is the truth this is the truth of redemption the moment we realize this our children are not here to fill our void so I should be able to feel like I'm a good guy I'm a success story I have the most perfect family in Lakewood Tom's River Muny and Bar Park and Williamsburg and Monroe and crownit and benra our family perfect as that's not what children are here for and when we live in that myth we're really crippling ourselves not only our children now I'm getting angry at them I'm projecting on them there's expectations that have nothing to do with them and there's my heart is just not open so it's in that name change from Yakov to is that all the healing all the real healing happens and the good news is that on the level of is you were never out of syn you were always attached you can't be not attached as he says even carus chus means an addict or not an addict a sinner who did crazy sins cus is serious stuff and you cut off we all know I could do things that will desensitize my soul it's like literally cutting cutting the ellal cord to spiritual energy like somebody who's an addict what what's the what's this what's the trag their whole life is out of sink they're out of whack I eat there's no control I'm binging I'm drinking I'm on my phone for hours there's no person there's no person Dy driving sitting in the driver's seat I am a complete reaction to pressure to circumstances to triggers I'm just reacting to life that's what I'm doing from the moment I wake up even I'm already busy with the next thing hopping my phone texting whatsapping listening to a clip at least if it was my clip M I'll be M it's not even my clip in the morning and two hours later boom and then one thing run I'm running I'm running I'm not anchored I'm not anchored in in a in in in a self that's the tragedy now sometimes I am so good with it that I turn it into a beautiful successful lifestyle and the whole world is praising me but our body knows the truth that there's an anxiety we know that there's an anxiety if I'm sitting at the shabas table and there's an inner anxiety it's not judgment it's just understanding that something is off I'm experiencing shabas from a place of pressure now I understand if you're standing in the kitchen all day so at the table you may be exhausted that's not something off you're just exhausted you need a good neck sometimes you just need a bed and sleep it's not so complicated right sometimes a cigar is only a cigar but in all these relationships like my kid my child comes into the room if instead of feeling Bliss I'm feeling disappointment or anxiety these are normal human emotions but I don't have to turn that into an I could say wow what just happened inside of me what's what just happened why can't I feel the joy in looking at my child why can I feel the joy in just having a casual conversation with my child what is is this what is this that I'm looking for this type of awareness is the beginning of all growth it's the beginning of all healing and it's a journey and it's not a judgmental Journey it's a very authentic and beautiful beautiful Journey so the powerful News is here sometimes a Jew didus means there are types of aus meaning I live in a way that really Cuts me off from my source and people can do that so the AL tells us that can only be on the level of yak which means the way I'm experiencing my N I don't have an experience yeah instead of experiencing my soul my soul is concealed my soul is repressed my soul is buried in tension and anxiety and all of these stuff but on the level of is there was never a rupture nobody can rupture it even that little child whose animal Soul experienced rupture and attachment their is soul was one with Hashem and therefore always Blissful so my challenge now is not to reinvent myself completely I just have to remove the blockages that don't allow me to experience my is nobody in the world can ever make you really inadequate because if you're M can anybody make Hashem feel inadequate like God wakes up in the morning and says I'm not sure I have any value in this world when you're when in that space my void does not exist because you're completely completely one with the source of everything and that's right now right here right now this moment and nothing can take me away from that so you'll say yeah but that's fantasy talk to my thoughts there's 100,000 thoughts every moment anybody's relating to what I'm talking about some okay I'm fine talking to myself too this is a good conversation with myself too I'm happy it's a good preparation for R but this mental chatter doesn't stop so essentially y so when we speak about the Nish so we all have an animal Soul here we're talking about the soul the inner Nish that Nish has a that's the way the Vine awareness comes into my body and there there could be blockages yeah it could be concealed it can be repressed it can be overwhelmed it can go into hiding and then there's the is level that's so just like creation didn't change it this level of nothing can change it nothing can change it no experience of Life can take you away from this even a person who went through not easy things but your Ain you're infinite so it was Infinity that was going through this so what does that mean what does that look like if I could say my Infinity went through this my my went through this it's an entirely different different approach so those are the two states of the Soul corresponding to so when we speak about there's always two ways talking about talking about Nish as an I I understand I feel I'm conscious I'm aware that's the yov the true is there's no ey because it's a pure so now we come to the the last piece of understanding what tra means okay the the fourth paragraph from the bottom the says in everybody knows this and that's why sh is called is what's the question now on [Music] this return what's the question very good it's it should say you just said is could never be separate could never be detached never sin what's TR is is I understand over there there could be a there could be a conscious you just said it's there's no Jew that's ever separate from that you can't even if you try you could try I can't the eye doesn't have control over this there so why the next words are because you stumbled the words afterwards are the word in Hebrew for example I'm walking and there's a rock I don't see the rock or a pole or whatever it is a suitcase and I trip my head didn't trip the head didn't go into the Rock the leg went into it the Regal went into it but what happens what happens is you lose balance and sometimes I just lose balance or I get back my balance a few seconds later or sometimes I just fall I trip and what happens when I fall is there's no alignment anymore between the head and the Torso and the legs and the feet when a person is walking or even a person is sitting straight there's a posture so there's the the rush all the way down to the Regal and there's a connection when I'm out of shape when I lose my balance I stumbled right if I tripped like this so what happens is my feet are not holding up my head anymore cuz the feet themselves were swept off or tripped or got confused and dumbfounded so there's no one connection over here and that's why sometimes the person could fall and even their head can fall so he says so what does this mean so what happens now is when I trip my head and my feet are not aligned anymore so now what happens is there's no flow from the head into the legs because the head is in one spot and the feet are another spot whether the person fell or the person is off balance so it's not that the head itself was wounded maybe the head is completely fine but what happens is the legs are not aligned with the head so what has to happen I have to get back up and bring myself back together so he says it's like the Sun and the Moon the sun is always shining always shining when do we see the moon when don't we see the moon the answer is when the moon sometimes when the moon faces the Sun so the part of the Moon that we see is away from the sun it's a half a ball so we don't see anything it's a dark moon so the Moon is not reflecting the sun then in a different position the moon reflects the Sun so that's what he says when the moon is the bottom the bottom part of the moon is is dark it's not channeling the light of the Sun the light of the sun is still shining there's a part of the Moon that's receiving the light I'm just not seeing it so that's what is means what happens is the is itself is completely one but it's not shining the sun is not being reflected in the moon it's like when you have the sun shining and this black clouds the sun is perfect nothing happened to the Sun so what do the black clouds accomplish I don't have access to it I don't see it I don't enjoy it I don't have the radiance of it so sh is bring is back the balance that your legs can be in a flow with your state of Isel so it's not CH is that the is became damaged but the Isel has been sidetracked or has been not align I'm not aligned with my is so shua bring it back so that you can be in touch with it so he says that's what TR is TR is not to create a connection truva is not to create a relationship trua is not even to heal something that is essentially destroyed no truva is that I should be able to channel my is that the sun should be reflected into the moon so that the Moon is open it's facing the Sun so because I stumbled and when I Stumble what happens the legs and the head are not anymore aligned so I'm misaligned with myself I don't know my own energy because I don't know my own energy so now my legs are like looking for some source of energy so physically thank God we get up and we get ourselves together but emotionally what often happens is I go into that story rather than realigning it so chuva is really to come back shua bring back the is cu it's the head of your legs so that there can be a flow of energy that your is and your yov could be one because it's two names of the same person it's not two people yov is is is is it's a matter of interpretation and he finishes the last paragraph now we'll understand why the mission statement the motto of Judaism is here Hashem is our godem is one why are there three names of hasem in the same verse you could say that's it make it shorter is one is not made up of Parts Hashem is not there's not many gods just say no what's this let's understand what this means the word shma in Hebrew doesn't only mean to hear physically it means to understand to get it like in yish you say her and her like we say you know I'm listen I hear you I I get you so shma is not just hear like don't stuff your ears yeah that too but it means really like I want you to understand shma listen listen to me listen to my words what should you understand who do you want should he which is the soul that's called is every person needs to be able to talk to his soul or her soul and say as follows I want you to hear I want you to understand the first thing I want you to know is you're is you're not damaged you're not wounded you're not cut off it's almost a a a conversation with it's it is a conversation with yourself with myself so you're talking to your higher consciousness you're saying shma you're talking to yourself say shma I want you to hear is you are is everything we spoke about is not somebody else it's you I want you to hear is you are this is this L this soul that is rooted in of it's rooted in hm's Infinity that knows the Oneness pre-creation and post creation it's never separate it's completely Divine and it's always has Clarity it has Divine Clarity it's also always in a state of goodness and comfort and Bliss because it's connected and it's one with the source of bliss with the source of pleasure with the source of goodness and it's not because it's a genius it's not about understanding it's beyond understanding it doesn't have to understand the of is doesn't need understanding in order to trust you know you watch that child who uh who finished nursing goes to sleep when you're lucky is in the crib right you see the belly going up and down inhaling and exhaling the child falls asleep with with this calmness now if you would ask this child where you getting your next meal he doesn't know where he's getting his next meal she doesn't know where he's getting but there's a trust how can that child trust and the answer is because the soul trusts now we hope that that trust is worthy this the child is going to cry and mommy or hope maybe even tati will come and pick him up the doesn't need SE in order to trust we often think I need to understand things in order to trust give it up you know why this world we don't understand we understand almost nothing we I don't even understand how a tree Works nobody knows how a tree I don't even know how a blade of grass grows we think we a few little things we understand God allowed us to understand doesn't need to trust of course the mind is a gift and when we we need to use it we should use it when we're learning when we need to understand something but when it comes to trust it's not about SE the does not need SE to trust it's like that child co-regulated in the arm of its mother there's a trust do I know what's going to happen in 5 minutes I don't know what's going to happen in 5 minutes so how can I be calm that's a question that comes from Detachment cuz I need a control on this level I don't need a control I don't need to understand I can trust I am a derivative of Hashem Mish that moment when we can feel that in our body when there's no interruption when there's shua is that's chva that is what chuva looks like that's the depth of chuva that's really what chuva is you know we sometimes associate chuva with guilt and more guilt and more guilt like this is the exact opposite this is all calmness this is this is real real calmness and then don't you don't have to worry you know why cuz the next moment trust me I'm when you're in this place you don't gossip when you're in this place you don't slander when in this place you don't need the wrong Foods when you're in this place you don't talk about when you're in this place you you know exactly what to do cuz I don't need all these distractions I don't need all these numbers I know exactly what to do that's the natural state of the Isel so the first thing isma I want you to hear is you are this is you say I'm not I'm not let me tell you my life story okay I know we love the life story and we want to write a biography and you want to make a bestseller and it's going to be amazing because it's the most dramatic story that ever happened since the snake enti kava maybe even more dramatic cuz this wasn't only an apple true but there's something even deeper than all of that and we have to acknowledge that we're not denying all the other parts but you have to know that's the foundation now when you understand that what does it mean you're what does that mean it meansem is we remember we learned past present future in one word which means it transcends intellect because intellect needs past present future I can be in the past and in the future but Hashem is beyond that this isim in Hebrew means strength energy this is our energy this is our Consciousness you real Consciousness is so when you know that you're is you know your Consciousness is I don't need to go away from that Consciousness I could stay in that Consciousness is why because there's no two Gods it's not like there's there and there's there we spoke about two things because in our experience we need to grow we need to understand we need to appreciate the contrast but in the real reality it's not two separate things it's one the is the of is the the the the physical Universe I'm looking at that is this conscious I don't have to separate the two we do separate the two because that's what the concealment does and that's what creates the the tension of existence and the relationship that we create that stimulates us but in essence that you're is and therefore has is it's my Consciousness because it's really and this is completely one with now we'll understand what it means literally means you should love hasem your God why two words say he says means it's not only aah it's not only a commandment it's also a prediction when you're going to realize that Hashem is El so then this is the deepest thing to love this is your Consciousness this is my truth this is my entire truth the consciousness of me as something separate that comes from all the concealments but the real yakob is just a reflection of so the deepest thing you know what you're going to end up loving in life V in Hebrew means you shall love it also means you will love every Mitzvah is not just a commandment it's also a prediction it's this is what's going to happen when all the blockages Go away You're going to realize you're going to love which is that is your Consciousness that is you you're completely [Music] one it's even more than a child a child also comes from parents child is not separate from the parents where did the child come from came from the seed it came from the egg it came from the parents but nonetheless a child becomes separate it's supposed to become separate you can't keep the child in the womb forever sometimes people want to do that but it doesn't work I can't keep my child as inside of me my my child becomes a separate person that's you got to give them wings to fly but we always retain our love to our children we don't say oh now you're separate go take care of yourself I don't care about you doesn't doesn't work even as separate children we still see them as one with us I don't have to explain this to mothers but still everybody knows that the love between parents and children could get complicated it's not everybody has a different experience because it's based on so many different things because ultimately the child becomes a separate person and that separateness is not so easy to balance with attachment like at one hand you look at your you know 30-year-old baby and he's a baby right you still see him in the womb you still have to tell him what to eat and what to do and how to eat right I he's 35 years old but you know the truth he's n baby but on the other hand if you tell that to him right your daughter-in-law is not going to be happy and Etc and you do want them to come for rash at least for two of the meals so there's always the balance between respecting you are my baby forever but you're also your own person right there's a separateness and it has to be that way parents who live through their children should be very curious what's happening we cannot live through our children you know a mother or father says you know my entire existence is just theas I have for my children that's a lot of pressure on your kids like we need to find our own life and we say this with respect of course we love our children of course we would die for our children when our children feel the pressure that their entire life is going to reflect on the parents who the parents are going to be that's crazy pressure like I can't do that to them like no I'll be fine Mommy's going to be fine tatti is going to be fine now take care of yourself it actually allows the children to become who they're supposed to become so there's always that respect for distance together with closeness that's how it is biologically with it's not like that it's not like you used to be in the womb pre-creation now you came out and now you're like God I'm going to come one meal but now leave me alone that you don't understand what God is the is you're always inside that Oneness you're always inside that Infinity it's like the the the child in the womb doesn't say okay Ma I need some time away from you Ma Ma give me a life okay don't tell me when to go to sleep that happens after the womb it used to happen when they were older today it's already when they're two or three they're going on 29 but in the womb what it's the same oxygen the same nutrients as the gamar says he eats what Mommy eats and she drinks what Mommy drinks and why because it's all one that's what is remains that way remains that way it's say there's no separation there's literally it's absolutely one and this love to because it's you it's the deepest type of love it's not like how can I love hem who is God to love him it's you it's the deepest selflove it's your Consciousness this is in every single Jew even the most laded the says about that even though he sinned he still called the the word is and did some pretty nasty stuff if you remember the story Inu the G says in sanedrin page 44 He Still Remains is what's is is is the head of the Soul remains one even in a state of so this love is always there the difference is the love could sometimes be concealed I don't have any access to it I don't even know this is who I am it's like a place of Darkness there's a candle hidden but I have to open the place because the candle is hidden let's say behind in a closet or something a beautiful candle the is like a flame it's a candle once it lights up there's such a beautiful glow and light but it's it's hidden it's hidden in a dark place I come in there a dark room there's no candle this is what is to remove the blockage to remove the darkness and to reveal is that which which is hidden inside the person this is what it means come back is always inct is is always wholesome but you ran away from me a woman told me this was a woman I know so she once told me that that her H her husband struggles with stuff he's a wonderful Wonder but he struggles so she told me that she sometimes speaks to his soul she can't speak to him this was years ago so she speaks to his n she speaks to his soul so she told me that once spoke to her husband Saul and she tells her husband Saul you know I miss you I miss you and she says that she almost like experiences his soul responding back to her and saying yeah I miss him too the soul says I miss him too so is means you know I miss you is like there's no alignment here I have no access to you so the whole CH is that inner and outer work to be able to bring back the is and the that the is shines through the yak and in that space the wholeness and the truth and the authenticity and the love of a person is completely infinite and non-negotiable and non-question with the same Oneness with Hashem that was their pre-creation everybody have a beautiful and inspiring week next week we're on next Tuesday we have a class 9:30 and this shabas we have a PR for bring in at 10:30 and 20 up STS and you can also watch it on the.net have a beautiful beautiful day thank you thank you