Rabbi Yehonason Alpren - Loving Kindness

today i'd like to discuss the topic of reset of lovingkindness but i'd like to take a certain avenue a certain approach which i think is intrinsic and a basic to all aspects of of kindness which we're supposed to perform inside between ourselves in our family and certainly within the community i'd like to begin with an incident that occurred to myself and my daughter she was going to a school in in jerusalem and one of her friend's father had died he was a great scholar of a community and uh i knew him well his name was actually where mordechai shakovitsky he lived in mala daphna he was the love of ausai abira in jerusalem and i felt i had to go to the to the funeral of a great man and my daughter was going along as well but i couldn't stay and i said to my daughter that i'll meet her outside i know if you know the area but uh small hanover the street outside azebu i'll meet you there in a half an hour but i can't stay more i have to go back i had a share that evening so we arranged to meet now if you know azerbaija the area is built on a circle and the men were standing on one side of the circle and round the corner on the other side were the women and i finished a half an hour and i came out my daughter hadn't come i went around to see if i could find her and i walked around the other side of the buildings and i was astonished what i saw there must have been close to 300 or 400 women and all of them were swaying it was during the ovations the funeral elevations that had spayed him and they were all with their eyes closed swaying in motion and i looked and i saw and i was i was overwhelmed by the involvement of all of these women they weren't family they were leaders of the community but they all were involved with what was happening and that's an aspect i think of kindness which which struck me so much there the feeling of that i'm i'm part of this funeral even though of course they weren't family i remember the similar incident occurred i've lived over 35 years in jerusalem and i'd like to just share because i think there is this common theme of aspects of loving kindness but the involvement in the kindness which i'd like to bring out we were blessed once with one of our children one of our boys who was born and the custom is on friday night you make what's called a shalom zohar people come round and have albus and a drink of wine and they say and uh my wife had sent me on a on a shopping spree to buy the cakes for the evening for friday night i went into the store on the hofmairshine it's called weasels and i said to the lady behind the counter you know i may we had a child she said oh malzottov how nice say good and i said my wife has given me a list so she said oh let me hear what you have to buy so i said you know i'd like this sort of cake she said no no no no don't buy that sort of cake so i said well my wife said i should buy it then i said she asked me to buy these sort of cookie no no no don't buy these cookies and nearly everything which i had on my list the lady behind the counter said no no it's not it's not worth buying so i i got a little bit frustrated and i said to her one minute madam who is making this simche so she turned around spontaneously and she said we are what a beautiful response i smiled at her and i i did whatever she told me it wasn't my sim it was our there's the involvement on a small aspect but it matters so much it makes all the difference we once another occasion that happened that there was a lady an elderly lady she was in her mid-50s she hadn't been married and we managed to find her a hussan and she was getting married and my wife and i who i think at the time we were younger than the color but we were like the the father and the mother who were taking her to the hooper and uh i was looking after the hostan but the the caller was actually lived in our house and came to our house for many many times on many occasions so when it came to the hooper i took the husson over as you know to cover over the color it's called the bedakin of the color you cover over the color with a veil and i walked over i never usually walk over to the women's side but this time since i was with the horse and i walked over with him and as i walked into the side where the women are all the women were jumping up around this 55 year old color the bride and wishing her muzzle tough and kissing her and dancing and taking pictures and saying come on now smile this way and that way it was they were all involved there's the point the level of involvement is the degree of kindness a friend of mine once was davening in a shull on shabbos morning in your shall i in jerusalem and as the davening was proceeding the first dabbling the chatwise until laning a buzz he told me went around the shoe that there was a hussan in the show who was getting married but no one knew who he was and there were no family members but he was getting married that week and he was with a friend and the friend had asked the gabbai the person who gives out the alias at the safety if his friend could have an idea because he's getting married this week no one knew who he was no one had any connection with him it came to the time he had an aliyah and everybody sang mazel tov and from nowhere i don't know where but when he had his alley he was called to the tower there were candies available for throwing on the hosun and after davening he said he turned around and he was astonished a whole kiddish had been laid out for the hassan it was they called it the of the shabbos before his and from nowhere the whole kiddush had been laid out in order to honor and to the sameach to enjoy and to let the husson know the simcha which was involved here by them it's the level of involvement and all these have the same common thread the idea that the the connection which people make the the idea that they're involved with the person and not just the the kind face or the uh the smile or you hand out the money and and basically and leave me alone it's much more than that the real level of kindness is the level of involvement where do we learn this from perhaps there's a source in the torah which i'd like to bring down we are told in the torah that nah was a tadic noah in the beginning from the beginning of time he was an outstanding righteous man he was unique in his generation i remember with my children they used to have a uh a song which uncle moishe used to sing and they say noah was a good man a good man a good man everyone around was wicked but they were he was unique now when it came to saving noah we learned in the tower that he was required to build an ark and collect all the animals and look after them for a whole year and this was going to be his salvation the question we can ask though if noah was such a righteous person and if he had such remarkable credentials is there no other way that the almighty could have saved him by them being a zookeeper for 24 hours seven days a week 24 7. but if he was so righteous couldn't the almighty have found a deck chair on top of a mountain with a bottle of coca-cola and saved him that way why was it necessary that he should serve in such a menial way without any any moments relaxation of any sort the medrush the commentators bring out that one of the sons of noah whose name was shame met eliezer who was the servant of av on abraham and eliezer asked shame tell me what was it like inside the ark and shane said it was basically as i just said 24 7 no relaxation no sleep no break looking after the animals it was like penal service in siberia but tenfold but why why such enormous tasks and such difficult responsibilities of feeding the animals and cleaning them and looking after them if he was such a righteous man the answer lies perhaps in a gemara in the gamora kidushi the talmud explains that robin gamlihel who was at the time a prince the nazi in israel made a wedding banquet for his son who was getting married and sitting at the table amongst the honored guests were three great tanoem verbialese baby yoshua and dog was sitting there at the at the meal robin gamble who was the host walked around says the mall with a bottle of wine and he went over to red yeshua with a bottle of wine to serve him and where yeshua took the drink and he was very pleased with him but bielezzo was sitting there at the side turned round and said you sure how can you allow that how can you allow such a distinguished person as the nausea as robin gamly or the prince to serve you have you no inhibitions surely a waiter but not the great man to serve you and your short-term manners says well i can think of somebody even greater than rebel gambliel after all abraham as we know sat at the gate and served the three arabs and they did not they were angels but in reality they appeared to him as as if there were three albums and he served them if abraham could serve the three arabs then why can't robert gambliel serve me and rabit zadok who was sitting at the side on the sidelines turned and said i can think of somebody much more important than abraham we learn that the almighty massive um brings down the rain and brings the wind and serves us all every day he's like the waiter so if the almighty can be the waiter then why can't berman gamble what's the answer the answer to the question is that the level of involvement is a privilege it's not just the smile and the the the check which is written out perhaps of the kindness it goes much further than that it's the degree of involvement which we see by nayach which we see by allowing web and gamiel to serve his guests that is the true level of loving-kindness how much involvement a person has and it's a privilege to serve it's a great honor to be involved with others if you look carefully perhaps maybe that's what we refer to when we talk about the almighty as which we say in benching when we grace after meals who hated who made it creative lanu he continually provides he continually gives and therefore the commentators explained that if you remember the incident of building the tabernacle inside the wilderness the first criteria in building the tabernacle was something called nadiva slave a generous heart and the commentators the rabbis explain what does it mean by a generous heart why was this the first criteria meaning the wood and the gold and the silver and the metal and the skins and whatever was needed in order to build the tabernacle it was all the raw materials they had to be given in a certain way they had to be given with this great generosity but this involvement in generosity now why one of the great sages the great mentor the alta from kelm explained in the following way the laws of an architect are it's not what he wants to build but who's going to live in that house you ask the tenant what he wants and then the architect designs and builds the building according to the specifications of the person who's going to live there says the alto who's going to live in this house the almighty he is intrinsically only a giver. he built a world of kindness but his level of kindness is the involvement he looks after us he secures us he feeds us he gives us whatever we need the involvement that he provides we as the builders of the tabernacle also have to have that criteria and therefore all the building specifications had to be done in a way of great nadiva slave of great generosity and without that the resident the almighty would never been happy to live there therefore we see that really this criteria begins initially with the almighty maybe that's the reason why we address him when we pray going he provides great kindnesses that's his attribute and that's what we follow on with but it's more than just the line of giving it's more it's the involvement it's the the feeling of who you're giving to and the care and the indulgence in the way the kindness is done i'd like to bring two examples and they really are the the background of the profile of perhaps of these great people the first as we mentioned just before is abraham one scene comes to mind which really illuminates in the most beautiful way what does it mean the real trait of kindness of loving kindness three days after his breast miller his circumcision this old man of of a hundred was sitting on one of the hottest days or the hottest days in world history the almighty made it blisteringly hot so that no one would trouble abraham and he wouldn't have to entertain any guests but he wasn't happy he sat at the door of his house and he peered and glanced and looked for guests and then he saw three arabs on the horizon and the commentators say he saw and he made a flying leap he ran from the chair i remember rav brevda they said once made this beautiful point he flew from his seat and entertained them he said i'll give you a little bit of bread and water but he really made a banquet and he stood over them and he watched over them but who i made i lay him he watched and saw whatever they needed the man was involved with his kindness he's much more than just a giver not just offering a cup of coffee he was involved he watched he told them to wash their feet he told them to look after themselves to rest under the shade and then he provided the meal with the help of sarah who catered for the for their needs the involvement take another example perhaps the greatest of all was moses when he was a young boy and living in the palace in egypt he left the palace every day and walked the streets of cairo and walked around where all the jews were working and says the medrash the commentators he cried he was broken he couldn't take it says the verse in the torah enough allah says he gave his heart and he gave his eyes and he saw what they were going through say the commentators he saw he didn't just see no san and means he understood their plight the nos and leboy he gave his heart he felt for them that's called involvement and he switched bundles and baggages and loads from an old man to a young man and he made sure as much as he possibly could to help the people he became involved with the people his kindness went much much further was just maybe lending a helping hand he was he felt for them the medrush the commentators explained that this and only this was the reason why moses became the leader of the people nowhere do we ever find that he was the greatest scholar he was the greatest sage he was the greatest legal authority we never learn about that all we learn about moses was that he cared and he cared in a great way when he arrived if you remember at the the well in midian he helped the daughters of jethro of israel to kind water he he cared he was involved with people that was the trait which both abraham and moses had maybe if we can add just one final point in other words we're saying that behind the profile of these great people like april moses and let's just have a look at king david when he was on the run from king saul who was trying to kill him i think it was about the sixth or seventh stop he went to a place called the caves of abdullah which is by the dead sea and there we're told in the prophets that in the book of samuel that he gathered together four hundred in the words in matsuke leive broken people no money no happiness no family heavily in debt no friendship 400 of them when he was on the run as a fugitive from king saul and he cared for them he was like a father figure to all of them when he himself was in such great danger he was involved with them this is the trait of loving kindness but behind it is the level of involvement i'd like to end with an episode of perhaps one of the greatest torah sages in our generation or the previous generation was sullivan the father of the briskorov he was called raphael brisker he was renowned throughout europe throughout the world as an enormous sage of great authority and of great torah learning he was traveling once on a train to warsaw and sitting on the train he was sitting across from a young student from a yeshiva from a talmudic academy and he was talking to him and the prime turned around and said to the student on the way and uh where are you going so he said i'm i'm going to warsaw so he said why are you going there said said the student well debbie i i have one of the unfortunate ones i've been called up for the polish army now in those times the army in poland was something you avoided at all at all costs it was 25 years service and most people who went into the army lost all traces of judaism it was almost impossible certainly to keep shabbos or to eat kosher and it wasn't possible so what happened was is you would bribe the authorities you had no choice otherwise you would basically lose your life and lose all your judaism so they gave money to the authorities in order to get an exemption the prime said and who you giving the money to said the yeshiva oh there's somebody in warsaw he's very well known um he he has as they say pull with the authorities and uh prime says i don't know him i i've never heard of him said he should oh no unknown webby he's very very well known he's renowned but prime said i hope it works out for well for you but uh almost prophetically but heim said let me just let you know that if you need me for any reason whatsoever i'm in this and this show this synagogue you can come and find me if you need my help and by then the train arrived in warsaw there were hundreds of people who had come to to collect and meet uh the great wolf of sodomite cheek and the shiva bachelor went his way with a lot of money in his pocket as i said it was almost prophetic he gave him the money and the man disappeared and the shiva bhakta was an enormous dress he was panic stricken what do i do he the man had taken the money and run he remembered the address he went and found raphael and there were hundreds of people outside it was a major convention of rabbis in ashool and all the rabbis were inside and people were desperate to to see and the great sages who had arrived at this show he went over to the guard on the door and said i've come to see where prime said the man on the door the security man i'm sorry you may as well go home you're not going to be able to see him he said really where primer told me and the guard refused him and then let him get in he made a commotion and the commotion was so loud and so disturbing the prime went to the door and saw the bakr remembered and recognized them and said to the god no that's fine let him come in sitting at the table around the table were 30 of the the great sages the great halachic codifiers within europe sitting around the table within about five seconds the prime realized what had happened he turned around and banged on the table and said to the great rabbis who were there to discuss very important matters regarding the jewish nation gentlemen he said to them this yeshiva here is in trouble he explained about that he'd given money over and he'd lost his money and now he needed other money in order to find his exemption and to give it to the authorities and and bribe the authorities otherwise he'll he's finished for life in the polish army 25 years said well prime i'm going to give money and he put his money on the table i'd like all of you to give money as well or per misery notes whatever and we must get money to save this ishiba within about 15 minutes where prime had gathered all the money together he then turned around to the baha in front of the rabbis and said now listen go to this and this person and nobody else and tell him that i sent you and and he will look after you as far as your exemption goes but don't go to anybody else the bokeh left overjoyed and then one of the rabbi sitting around the table turned back and said to the prime i have a question we have come today from all over europe to discuss the jewish people living in palestine in israel at the time and all the needs and the concerns of the jewish community one particular yeshiva can wait until the end of the day it was as if lebron had been electrocuted he jumped up crying and he turned around and answered the man as follows in front of all the rabbis i don't understand you this one yeshiva is all of the jewish nation everyone counts each person is fundamental we're not dealing with numbers we're dealing with individuals each individual is the whole of claude israel and with that he sat down but a beautiful lesson of kindness of how far it goes everybody counts no one is excluded each individual is part of our involvement as a jew one with another you have to reach to love your neighbor as yourself the cardinal words are the or have to the ave of the love the involvement one cares for a child one cares for a family member but it should stretch out to all members in claudia's soil no exclusions no one is left out the theme of loving kindness involves everybody it's perhaps one of the most important points in the profile of abraham of moses king david and certainly it's an attribute that we recognize the almighty by who hated him who made it who is he continually gives in the most beautiful way for my own personal experiences that's what i have found is the trait of kindness in jerusalem from the funeral i went to the weddings or or buying cookies for my child's shalom zacho on friday night that's i think one of the most important points of hazard the level of involvement the degree of caring and the recognition that every single person counts perhaps if we can pick up these qualities and apply them we are following in the ways of the almighty that's the way he wanted his tabernacle built and that's the way it was built for him maybe if we could follow in that way then certainly we would be similar to him and following the true example the profile of the tsalem elokim the image of the almighty in the world thank you