Rabbi Gavriel Friedman - Food for the Soul: What's Judaism?

okay so yesterday last time on essentials what we dealt with is story and data anybody remember that uh story and data way we perceive things to say the things that we say the impact and the power of what we say how it reverberates for generations to come that's quite amazing many of us think like what's the big deal i just said something what does it really matter well in this case it mattered that an entire generation died at least 10 of them quite a painful death torah is intense it just seems to be intense if a person doesn't realize what it is right as does a 40 000 watts or volts you know when you touch it in jurassic park but uh that's not intense neither is drinking cyanide bringing one's death because we understand that that is a reaction so too is the idea of the spiritual world spirituality is quite intense it's quite real but again it's not intense right i want to make that clear for those who have heard this me say this the best three days i've been reiterating this point and i just want to get it across at least one more time for all those out there and all those out there okay and that's uh and that's the following that's fine to recognize the fact that judaism is not intense judaism is not intense really nothing is intense if you are used to it if you are not used to it it's intense right that's everything in life things are intense if you're not used to them and they're not intense if you are used to them is that does that make sense perhaps even if you got used to fire it would be intense to sit in it for hours on end so maybe that's not completely accurate but you get the point of what i'm getting across perhaps so let's just uh let me give you the example and then we'll get into today the example that we gave that we discussed thus far many a time is if you drink um cyanide and we're talking about how much of it i wish i actually knew the real number but i'll make up like i do point zero zero zero zero zero zero zero four percent cyanide you will die whoa why such a dis i'm standing here for you this is hard for me but i'm doing it for you why why such a disproportionate response you get that like all i did was drink a little bit then i have to die now why so why so crazy and why is such a response there's such a little thing you hear that but we don't see that as a problem right we see that as it makes sense that amount of poison will kill you is that is that good kresge you got that oh come on this is the stuff for you if you go ahead and you hold on to a a power cable with which has a million volts running through it you will die okay now but why all i did was touch it it's not like i did something crazy i just touched a wire i should touch a wire and die the answer is that's reality that's what reality is right that's not and again no no one walks by and sees like it says on an electrical box danger and then they go it's ridiculous that that's dangerous you know that's just ridiculous everyone knows that that's what it is that's the reality of life spirituality is the same way a person goes ahead and they mess around with the lord that's the same thing as messing around with the lord with electricity god also created electricity i don't know if you guys are aware of that god created electricity as well and if you make some electricity there's a response if you mess around with the idea of of uh spirituality as a response and it's also positive a person goes and pays one dollar they get a piece of paper has a couple numbers on it someone throws a bunch of balls in this thing those numbers show up and now the guy wins 300 million dollars come on that's not fair why a dollar to 300 million why should he get that it's not a matter of fair it's a matter of that's just what it is yeah that's just to be out the numbers fell in his favor therefore he gets the money it's true in physical it's true in this world it's true and spiritual you do a mitzvah you follow the torah you do the right thing who you going to get mad cash mad cash talking about cash you don't even know cash is you think it's what nothing is like the mission says we discussed all this in this week's peric the fourth chapter of picking elvis all of this world has an equivalent amount of pleasure you get for one second in the next world one second one second in the world to come bam that's more than anything you can imagine imagine pleasure imagine it well stop thinking of that but i'm saying but imagine pleasure yeah okay just whatever your pleasure you can imagine it's nothing it doesn't it pales in comparison oh and how sad it is when we miss the point of that this world is just a corridor almost a domino process it's just a corridor this is just the pathway stop living in the hallway people and let's recognize what life is really about let's start getting into it let's start getting into yeah yeah let's understand what judaism is not saying what god is understand what it means to have a relationship with the creator of the world god i'm drawn to tell you the following statement which i won't be following so forthcoming but i will tell you in a couple of moments hopefully what i wanted to get into yesterday but i want to get across here is that understand what is judaism what is yiddish kite what is judaism oh how we've done this so many times and how it needs to be done every day because we forget merciless asharan writes in an introduction nothing i'm going to tell you is new you know you know it already but you forget you forget what it is how many times we hear things i'm like wow that's a good idea i should change my life in that direction i should eat better i should exercise i should i should invest my money a certain way i should i should treat people certain i should do x y z and then like a year later you find that you wrote that down you find that paper that you wrote on you're like wow this is really good i should have done this and i should now and then a year later you find it again and you forget it and you remember like oh yeah let's remind ourselves what's judaism what is judaism so i could say what a lot of people say judaism is don't do this don't do that don't do this don't do that don't do this don't do that do this don't do this don't do that do this don't don't don't do it like that do it like this and don't do it like that do it like this that's okay you did it right but everything else you did wrong and do it like this in hell and heaven that's what you dismiss right isn't that judaism isn't usually beautiful yeah but that's that's but i think that's how people see it right how do we see judaism i was talking with someone recently he told me he never knew what orthodox judaism was he grew up orthodox you grew up observant whatever word you want to use here he grew up from he grew up religious but you never know us he always looked at it he told me this the other night he said i always looked at it like it's something that like you kind of sort of have to do and you gotta like you do it to get out of the way but like you don't really you know it's not really your life you know i mean it's like you do it to get out of the way you know depending on your you have to your background you'll understand what i'm about to say now but unfortunately let's say to a religious jew what's like the greatest time of their life or their day the greatest time of the day like what's the best thing is like when you've already prayed minha and your pariv right which means that i don't have to think about praying because i fulfilled my obligation and i'm pirative so i could eat any food i want right it's where i don't have the obligations or anything going on and that's how people look at sometimes judaism is this religion uh you've got a book and this is what you do and this is what you don't do is am i accurate in that there are those who think of judaism in such a way has anyone ever thought of it in such a light yes or no what do you say yes or no yeah what do you say yes and no what do you say yes or no have you ever looked at it in your own life in such a way in your own life have you ever looked at a little bit restrictive a little bit as do this don't do that and that's what judaism isn't about it tells you what to do what not to do what about you what do you say yes yeah what do you say yeah what you say husky uh what do you say did you ever think of it like that oh because you didn't even know before so you went from nothing to everything beautiful that's a way to do it don't burn out don't burn out right like i'm not there yet right don't judge me one day raise russia right but you just said to me look at it bali chuva the people that become observant people become observant depends on where you're coming from but a lot of times you find them they that they don't look at it always like don't do don't do don't do they look at it like everything's exciting for them right and it's always fun to have a balchuva come for shabbos like you know it's it's i go wash my hands finna tell say diamond okay wash your hands twice on your right twice on the left up to the wrist don't be cheap some say three times slide that is fine whatever it is you go up to you wash your hands right you got to do what you got to do everyone go you wash your hands about you was like i have to wash my hands they go twice to the right twice the left up to the wrist don't be cheap yay and then they sit down and no talking because we watched we're not going to talk and they get all into it it's all exciting like and you think they lost their mind you think they're crazy right a person if anyone here comes from a secular background and you have a friend or a relative who became observant you probably think they're off they're off the rocker they're out of their mind and by the way you may be right for some of them but but the idea is that sometimes you think they're crazy what are they doing why would they put these restrictions on themselves you can't do x why would they want to do other things you can't and you must do why that's crazy they are nuts and the answer is perhaps perhaps but perhaps not perhaps like you just don't have an understanding of what judaism is maybe you just don't get it maybe you just don't get it has ever been something in your life that you thought was crazy and when you understood it you're like wait a minute that makes a lot of sense i thought it was crazy but it really makes a lot of sense and then you start doing it and others think you're crazy and he says yeah i think i'm crazy but that's the way it is i'm gonna go along with it it's not what i'm gonna do i'm gonna do what i think is right and this makes sense this is truth you figure out what truth is and you start doing it people think you're nuts i know personally besides a little incident with the chocolate bar this morning then i try to eat healthy at least the past week and a half no no no no it was uh rosemary so it was like chalk on the outside nugget in the meantime not those type of nuggets but it was it was a chocolate i think it was really um saying the truth is a little hard for me because it's uh whatever i was looking for pestex man i'm more of a fan of pessex man that's the truth so another type of chocolate like the vape with a wafer in the middle whatever i couldn't find it so i just went with rosemary because it was the old one i had as a kid in any event i try to die but i used to look at people that that are health nuts i will still look at them like they are absolutely crazy do you know that eating white flour is worse than smoking so i was like all right so i guess i should start smoking right like what like what is that but it means worse than smoking you guys out of your minds you know what it does to you do you know what carbs are carbs are so terrible do you know what oil is oil breaks do you know what trans fat is i was like i don't know could you pass it please all right can you do it right we have the nuts but then when i learned about this stuff i'm like hey you know what it is i still eat it but it's like yeah it is it is it makes sense it makes sense what these people are saying i thought they were crazy but they're really not crazy okay let's talk about judaism for a second judaism is crazy isn't because what's judaism is these rules of do and don't and yes and knows and whatever what's judaism oh it's judaism what's judaism come on tell me it's a way of life that's nice i like that it's a way of life what's judaism that's a good answer and it was honest i like that question okay good so for you it's whatever you want it to be i hear that yeah what's judaism it's the best part of my life oh oh yes i enjoy it every day this is what i think my grandchildren black hatted and i enjoyed this oh but the schweitzer's right here how do they feel i hear it i hear it you know you remind me of uh folger's coffee the best part of waking up is judaism and black hats i got you yeah it was tea it wasn't coffee it was better it was bad tea it was burnt tea not enough sugar what's judaism that which makes you happy and angry at the same time that's a good one that makes you happy and angry at the same time you know that's really beautiful that you said that that's very interesting i like how you said that well what's judaism what does that mean belief judaism is belief is that right yeah interesting hey guns and roses what's judaism nice try you ain't getting out of nothing following the laws that the lord gave us take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the torah is awesome oh won't you please take me home what do you say let's do this a healthy way of life it's like you work in marketing what do you do medicine okay that's right medicine a healthy way of life i like that that's good what's judaism my friend my relationship with god yes um an opportunity opportunity did i ask you what is it i think it's a response to torah same as pixie here what do you got what's judaism ethical behavior no kind flinging flanking heaven whatever you guys say in amsterdam what is judaism i also have a relationship with god relationship with god bam who didn't i get can i ask you yeah sure in a minute what's judaism frank sinatra frank sinatra's judaism maybe barbara streisand i don't know so you sound like him over here right whatever your way is what is judaism pixie i'm going to say exactly what you said you know what judaism is judaism is a relationship that's what judy is a miss so it could be a love hate it could be a love hate my friend like you right like you mentioned love and hate at the same time when i write judaism is is a relationship now the question is how do you perceive your relationship well there's so many rules let me let me put it in this way to quote by uh benson clatsko the way that he puts i think it's so beautiful gives an example it doesn't word it like this so if it comes out bad it's from him uh no i'm kidding it's for me so it comes out good it's from him at least the the model um i totally didn't want to talk about this but okay let's do it i've pressured myself has anyone here ever been in a rules before have you ever been in a rules before like a fight rules rules have you ever been in the rules this doesn't make sense have you ever been in the rules no maybe it's an english thing i know you're from america yes have you ever been in the rules i think you're saying bending the rules no have you ever been in a rules i'm not sure what does that mean come on help me out here someone okay listen i get it amsterdam england panama where you from originally where are you born in new jersey you're born in new jersey where were you born you don't want to say ukraine ukraine so we got that you guys are off the hook but americans australia may be awful right have we ever been in an ideological context okay maybe i'm just not worrying it properly let me let me let me ask you differently let me ask definitely have you ever been in a relationship before has anyone been in a relationship yes you've been in a relationship are you in a relationship currently are are there rules and relationships there are rules and relationships is that right how many rules are there too many good luck good luck get the video on that guy right no no i was kidding uh and his full name and please come over now is there is is you've been you've been in a relationship before and there are many rules in relationship but let me ask you something when the relationship is going well has anyone ever been in a relationship that was going well that was going great even that was going fantastic even for just a couple of days even a couple of moments right there would have been that before now there are rules and relationships some of them are spoken out some of them are unspoken some of them you get slapped for but there are rules my if you're if you're in a relationship you can't just be looking at anyone right you can't just look at anyone else at least about when they're paying attention you can't just be uh going wherever you want whenever you want you can't just do whatever you want you're now connected with somebody else makes sense however even though when you're in a relationship there are rules when things are going well when things are going great not only do you not mind the rules you will take more rules upon yourself you will initiate upon yourself more rules what am i talking about let's let's speak it out so i'm reviewing you if it's okay as an example what's your name michael steven names have been changed to protect the guilty okay david question full name number okay uh david david you're in a relationship and um your girlfriend your wife or whatever significant other is at home and you're living together and uh so obviously you're married and because when no one would live with someone listening right and uh basically what happens you get a phone call as you're on your way back from work and your your spouse says to you honey she's hispanic honey i'm hungry your wife says that she's hungry what do you respond what would you like to eat good it's a much better answer than the previous guy who goes me too and he hangs up right good all right i'm hungry you say okay what would you like to eat so she goes pizza you say she says or you say like maybe you should be having a salad honey i didn't want i didn't i didn't want to say anything but uh okay yeah but we'll get you pizza one day yeah we'll call it pizza i know but she got pizza what kind she goes vegetable you say how many slices would you like a pie it's just for me baby just for me oh good you're doing good you're doing great keep it up what next can i supersize you would you like a fries with that would you like a drink do you want something else which pizza store right now true or false for those of you have been in relationships and at the time when it was going well you just want to do for the other person you just want to go and do as much as you can for them and even if they're like no no it's okay it's okay they're like no no you're like no i'll go i'll get for you and imagine you came home it's like midnight it's even after midnight and what happened you're about to go to sleep and you're tired and she's like oh i'm so hungry you're like i'll get you something you pop it she goes no no it's okay it's okay ignore it i insist and she goes well in that case okay if you can get for me right and you're happy it's your pleasure you go out with a smile you're excited to go get it for them does this make sense everybody with me when things are going well in your relationship the rules don't bother you and you will take upon yourself more rules have you ever been in the rules before anybody get it now what does it mean to be in the rules when things aren't going so well in that relationship and now instead of seeing the relationship as wow i can do for you i would love to do for you and now it's like ugh i have to do for you those rules become i can't think of a verb that works with prison but it becomes that they become prisoning that is now the word to be used those rules what's that incarcerating that would actually make sense you must have gone to an intense school right incarcerating and especially you do the english accent move i like that that's cute yeah because it doesn't matter what you say you could have said jayling and it would have worked also right but anyway the point is is that they become bonding i really want to say bondage but that isn't bandaging right it makes you it makes you feel whereas once they were inconsequential they were irrelevant and of course you followed them and they didn't bother you you did more now they become burdensome does everybody get that and what do you say when you're on your way home and your wife calls you and says i'm hungry you say me too that's when you've already lost it all before you lost it what do you say i'll get you some food goodbye and you fulfilled your obligation you get it you've done what you had to do your obligation is to is to fend for and help and and whatever right so the point is that you you have to go and help her she said she's a zombie he's okay i'll get you some food bye and you go you'll pick it up for it you've fulfilled your obligation that's what it means when a person lives a life is a jew and they say i've prayed min i prayed the afternoon service i'm done i fulfilled my obligation you know i got to do this i'll do what i got to do people what's judaism it's a relationship it's a relationship now tell me something when you're in a relationship and things are going well and assuming you always want them obviously to go well so what do you do is you're willing to take upon yourself things in order to make the relationship even better does that make sense what's the best way to make the relationship better if you want to be able to make the relationship better for this individual what do you need to do you need to give what do you need to give attention you got to give yourself you got to give attention but as rabbit burger says what's the right answer the one i'm looking for what do you need to do if you want to connect with your wife what do you need to do if you want to be able to give towards your wife i can come home and i want to give to my wife okay i want to make my wife happy i want everything great i want my relationship to be wonderful so i come home and i buy her a gift i get her a uh what are those little ponies called my little pony i buy her my little pony and they give it to her say happy anniversary it's our silver anniversary i know what the numbers are right but it's our gold right whatever it is yeah we're here we're now i want to give you this gift it's from me to you she goes what is it i can open it she goes oh my little pony what do i need to do to make that gift be awesome i got to know the other person is that right in order to make the relationship work if i want the relationship to be amazing i got to know the other person is that right does that make sense so it doesn't make sense to get to know the person a little bit get to know the little person get to know understand and learn more and more and more and get deeper and deeper and deeper okay people let's talk about judaism judaism relationship things are great oh they're awesome and you just want to do and do and do and give more and more to the relationship let's put hashem in the picture let's put the lord let's put it in the picture so let's see you want to have relationship with god anyone who would say no you're out of your mind i don't care if you're an atheist you're still out of your then you're definitely out of your mind but you're even more out of your mind if you even if you're an atheist and say i don't have a relationship with god in other words if there were to be a god would you want to have a relationship with god what's the question would you want to have a relationship with uh with with the with the president of uh the please no jokes on this one but with the president of of america would it make sense to have a relationship wouldn't that be a good idea wouldn't it work well for you to have a good relationship with the president of the united states right what's that okay moving along i didn't know you knew my name but uh wouldn't it be worthwhile wouldn't it be good wouldn't it be good to be i mean i guess maybe not venezuela you know but like what do you guys call them maburo anyway so anyway the point is that wouldn't it make sense to have a relationship with the president of a company with people that are high up doesn't it make sense to have a relationship with the creator of the world the one that runs everything the one that's in charge of everything anything you want he's your man figuratively i don't want to get confused with religions here anything you need he's there wouldn't that make sense of a relationship so let's try to see and see well what does that thing what does god want now a lot of times people make a mistake that they want in the relationships they want to do for somebody for their spouse and they do for them but they do for them on their terms on their own terms and they don't do it on the terms of the person they want to have a relationship with and that breaks down the relationship if you want to have a relationship with a creator of the world if you want a relationship with me but you buy me a gift that has to do with you and nothing to do with me then that doesn't exactly help the relationship many of us think and this is a funny thought and this is i you know i i question whether i should be i question things sometimes with what i have in my mind now and i'm not sharing with you a question but what i want to share with you now which i question if i should but i will anyway is people who say yeah i want a connection with god i want to have a good relationship with god and and i have a relationship with god really explain that well you know i uh give charity i i have on thursday nights we get together as a bunch of friends and we play guitar and sing kumbaya my lord right i mean i uh do you keep shabbos no no i don't do shabbos oh does does the lord want that from you yeah he says like you should do it but like you know it's okay i mean it's if you want to if you don't what about uh do you dress appropriately well i mean i i feel i know how to connect with god i'll connect with god in the way that i want to connect with god don't tell me how to do it do you realize what you just said by saying i will connect with god in the way that i know to connect with god that means you're saying i'm going to have a relationship with my wife and the way i want to have a relationship with my wife and not the way my wife wants me to have a relationship with her how's that relationship gonna go horrible not too well it's a nice way of saying it yeah not gonna go too well we gotta figure out what does god want from us oh yeah well it's a one-way relationship it's crazy because i do everything for god but what does he do for me this is my favorite part he was like you know okay fine i'll do what he wants but what's he doing for me i don't know maybe giving you a heartbeat every second assuming you're healthy and you have 60 beats per minute maybe for some of you giving you two hours per second you're eating a little bit more than you should what's he doing for you are you kidding me what isn't god doing for you anything you have in your life is from god no i did it myself you nuts you did it yourself you couldn't lift a finger if god didn't let you if god didn't let you you could not even lift your finger what about the people that are paraplegic and they can't lift their finger okay so he gave them something else they have a brain what about okay let's deal with us right now he gave you everything anything you have is from god and god continues to give to you and give to you and gift you seems to be a one-sided relationship you're right but it seems to me it's from him to us not us to him and let's take a look and see what does god want from me but i don't like these things the rules that they're telling me to do i just don't like it okay i get it you don't have to do it if you don't want the relationship that don't have the relationship that's your call but understand like we said all of a store this world is a corridor the next world is where it's at baby that's eternity and you are building your next world right now you create the house you want to have you want to have a shack you can have a shank i love when people say okay listen the mission says every every jew has a portion in the world to come most people don't read the end of the mission it says accept and then there's a list and some of us the way we build our relationship with god are a lot of them in those exceptions but let's even say you get into the world to come you make it you get that pleasure that there's nothing you can't even compare to this world pleasure which is gonna blow your mind but that's fine because you're out of this world already i get in so like if i'm getting it i'm getting a portion so i don't have to like build more like what's the big deal to build more i have what i have i don't need to build anymore he says are you crazy let's be honest let's look at this world again to understand the next world you understand the next world and look at this world and see how it works every one of your friends is driving a twin turbo six speed porsche and you get yourself a buick bonneville 1987. that is a beauty every one of your friends is driving porsches jags lamborghinis okay even toyotas lexus those aren't familiar lexus is toyota they just don't tell you but yes all of a sudden it's like man that's what i have a toyota you know but you're right on your tuition what car do you own a toyota right it's a lexus you go ahead and everyone's driving you're driving a camry a 95 camry how do you feel how do you feel everyone's driving this spitzy unbelievable nice you're your cars you're on the autobahn trying to push kilometers and they're going like a thousand miles an hour you're like well at least i'll survive yeah what do you what are you thinking what do you think how do you feel at that moment let's be honest how do you feel if everyone's driving these cars and you're driving like a little whatever not good yeah i love those no it's okay it gets me from a to b i'm happy i have wheels and a steering wheel i'm good baloney you'd feel like an idiot you feel like an idiot driving this car around they're gonna be like you're like i'm happy with what i have right it's not true you feel jealous you feel whatever my friends are gonna get to the next world you're gonna get in but you're gonna be like by the doorway and everyone's like behind the curtain the vip like rocking it you're gonna see like lights and things you'll be like what's that it was like don't you wish you know uh uh and they're like they're going wild whatever they're doing back then when you open it up they're eating delicious foods what were you guys thinking anyway they're eating amazing things right they're going to be rocking it up people come on come on this is a relationship okay now that brings us to the following idea so that's now we could break down an interesting thing which has nothing to do with the parasite that i was going to talk about um this brings an interesting thing and that is the following what does the word what does the word what's your name silk who are you from which area simply you read hebrew i'm assuming your name is simcha right okay that would be awkward if i got it wrong what does this word mean first i'll read it mitzvah what is the word mitzvah mean commandment commandment pixie what is the word mitzvah mean how's your hebrew have you heard of the word mitzvah before what is the word mitzvah mean what's that what is a deed like of a house you have a how adidas oh so what's a deed my sister a good deed like a good deed it's a deed it's a good deed or a bad deed oh so a bad deed if i punch him in the face that's a mitzvah yeah or perhaps not like i do many myths both right what's a mitzvah come on pixie a good deed now we're on good deed is that right we're getting rid of the idea okay you want to call a mitzvah a good deed is that right ooh look at that a good d okay anyway so she said you had to call it a good i never did that before right okay so so this is uh this is a mitzvah don't get esoteric on me i want translation of words fulfilling as well fulfilling god's will what is a mitzvah commandment that was quick what's a mitzvah wait you said god's commandment what was that what's god's commandment what's a mitzvah a good deed you would say you know what the word commandment is mandy amenti so what's what's a mitzvah a good deed so let's look at the root of the word the word mitsa comes from the word connection for the word tsav what is that sav command sava's command so why do people say good deed it is a good deed to do a mitzvah however a mitzvah doesn't mean a good deed is that you get that is that clear the word mitzvah doesn't mean good deed it is a good deed to do a mitzvah and when people do good deeds there is a mitzvah there's a commandment to do good deeds and therefore when you do good deeds you've done a mitzvah but the word mitzvah doesn't mean good deed is that clear there's a mitzvah to put on to fill in that's not called a you know it's a good deed unless you're saying anything god says is a good deed right what else does the word mitzvah mean so on the one hand it means commandment number two there's another way and this is where you're going to see the difference between what judaism is the way you thought it was and what now we're getting what it is commandments that falls into the the guidelines i've asked you what's what's judaism and a way of life and these things but practically speaking practicamente we're saying that the idea of of judaism it's rules so if you look at judaism as rules in other words like do this and don't do that it's a book of rules the torah etc so then you translate the word mitzvah as commandment but if you look at judaism not as rules but as a relationship and that yes there are rules within it but it's not what judaism is so the word mitsuha no longer looked at his commandments it takes on a whole new meaning the word mitzvah also comes to the gemara talks about aramaic it comes from the word savtha not to be confused with babushka which means safta or grandmother but savita with atsadi which spells which means a connection point a connection what is judaism judaism is a relationship how do you build that relationship through various things which you do which will help connect you what are those things those are called mitzvos and now no longer is looked upon as i have to do this it's looked upon as wonderful i can build my relationship with the creator of the world what do you say you're commanding someone to do it it implies they don't want to do it if someone has it on their own volition that's following like a rule or law command sounds as though they're automatically resistant command sounds as if they're resistant so stop at a red light that's a law rule the command is like what's the difference in a rule and a command it's not a command commandment a commandment is a rule a command you're speaking in the in the in the tense of uh army commander says jump in the way of the bullet so the other guys can get through that's command correct yeah army guy says tie your shoes it's also come in right right right you also want to tie your shoes sure so it's not exclusive to things you don't want to do right understand people is that yes it's true i'm not neglecting number one i'm just adding to number one and i'm pointing out that when you're in a relationship with your wife and you're in love you don't even look at other women when you're in love when you're when you are enthralled by your spouse i mean hopefully you get this if not good luck to whoever you're married or whoever you were married to whoever you were married to but if a person goes out and they're they're just deeply unless certainly this works for women i know that i don't want to get into it but certainly this works for women that a woman who's in love with their spouse doesn't even look at the rest of the world a person who's in love with their with their spouse i'm going to even stretch it to a man when a man is is things are going fantastic could be not but let's take a look in this angle like you don't even look at something else is there a rule not to look at somebody else when you're married yeah there's even a rule but you're not doing it necessarily because you're doing it because you're in love with your spouse so my point is is that it's true that there's an element of command but then your relationship with god in relation with judaism will be living on that level it's going to be like oh yves i have to judaism my friends is awesome judaism is incredible judaism is like oh no it's like oh yes oh yes it's just we're missing what it is every day and we forget this and i want to tell you something even if you think you didn't know this you didn't know this and if you grew up observant there's a reason why you didn't know this because unfortunately some of us are raised not like this we're raised more number one than we are number two we're raising must do this must do that i'm telling you from my experience growing up it's more of an idea growing up observant it's an idea of like you have to you must it's this it's commandments etc and not enough emphasis perhaps at times on how incredible it is and how amazing how loving it is and how awesome it is and then we grow up thinking like oh i have to especially if someone grew up reformed or conservative you know exactly what i'm talking about if anyone who grew up a former conservative went to sunday school hero school got to go to hebrew school and you gotta learn your parsha your bar mitzvah has anyone done that anyone grew up in such a such a world yeah tell me if this is accurate for a jewish boy raised in a reform home where they are going towards bar mitzvah bar mitzvah is essentially graduation from judaism you must sit and learn your portion and you got forced to go to hebrew school and at 13 it's kind of like all right now you're done and it's the culmination and now you're done with judaism in orthodoxy that's when it starts and what ends up happening is that then all the kids end up hating it anyway because like i had to go to the school i didn't even want to go to i'm like thank god i'm done then they send their kids to it also and then my friend who works at a sunday school in america somewhere he goes why does this guy this guy told me to follow one of my good friends he started a sunday school hebrew school where it's not like this it's not torture the kids actually love it and the kids love it so much that the parents started coming and they started the sunday school for the parents also and the parents are now reliving their childhood in a way which is more positive now but when this one guy asked if you hated sunday school so much why are you sending your kids he said because i had to suffer through it they're going to also right it makes a lot of sense but i understand that it's not like that it's amazing it's beautiful it's incredible it's a way of life which builds your relationship to the nth degree so at the end of the day is judaism intense the answer is you're sure it's unbelievably intense if you don't understand what it is just like touching 40 million watts is intense if you don't get what it is and you realize okay maybe it will have an impact but it makes sense during cyanide makes sense do a mitzvah changes worlds changes this world in the next world you affect the whole entire world to doing a mitzvah in a positive way or a negative way that's it makes sense same god that created electricity created misos people therefore i ask you do you want to live a life of rules did you want to live a life of relationship the answer is it's up to you how you perceive it god's already doing his part he's given you everything you need and he's continuing to do it the question is do we stop and think well what does god want from this now let me take a look and see how i can work towards that any questions comments stories jokes attacks please keep them verbal and physical um what would your response to the following thing be what can we do for god answer nothing what would your response to that be my response would be correct and incorrect like everything in judaism in other words what can you do for god ultimately you're right god's perfect perfection doesn't change perfection needs nothing not relative perfection absolute perfection but when we say what can you do for god we mean ultimately what can you do for you optimally the optimal thing you could be doing for you is to be doing for someone else who's that somebody else in this case god god really is telling you here's the funny thing you're right you should be doing it for you the best way of being selfish is being selfless god says i want to give you the greatest pledge you can ever have and you're like yeah but you're restraining all these restrictions i can't sleep around to everyone eat whatever i want do whatever whatever i want however i want all these restrictions god said don't you get it these restrictions are in order to give you the greatest life so ultimately say what are you doing for god if you got pretty deep the answer is nothing if we're speaking it out in human terms the question is how are we focusing on is it focusing ourselves on focusing on god and therefore we are doing for god so to speak but ultimately we're doing it for ourselves recognize that idea when your kid asks you for that brownie and they want their 17th and their 21st and their 50th brownie and you hold back and don't let them have it and they're thinking why are you holding back and letting me have pleasure in life when your kid wants to just run around free in the street on a highway and you're holding them back from enjoying life when your kid wants to go ahead and just ingest whatever they want to ingest and never sleep and just jump off very high places with sharp objects underneath and you're holding them back from enjoying their life what's the reality you're giving them guidelines to get the most out of life all right people been a pleasure see when i see everyone have a wonderful day bye