Q&A: Psychology vs. Spirituality - Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch

[Music] my name is rabbi Daniel Sean Goff on the licensed marriage & Family Therapist based here in New York and around the world via Skype we're going to be answering today some more questions from viewers that we're dealing with the question of spirituality and medication and one viewer wrote in that he had experienced depression for a number of years had tried many different types of therapy but was now looking into spirituality as a means to help himself and want to know what is the exact definition of spirituality Thank You rabbi can you tell me what your definition of spirituality is I always find it a vague concept I've gone to therapy for years to no avail have tried many medications for anxiety but could not take them because of the horrendous side effects I have to agree that focusing on the future is very helpful but I still cannot find anything to help with insomnia I've experienced for close to two decades dear viewer you're asking a fantastic question which I'm sure many other viewers are dealing with in their lives today what is the essence of spirituality what is rock mute well it's very interesting question because many people today go to therapists looking for advice to deal with their overall problems but never actually experience or explore their spirituality with their therapist and this is a very important point it's very hard to define a line between psychotherapy and psychologists unfortunately modern psychology try to define that line many years ago when they divided between the person's body and their soul in fact if you look at the original originators of modern psychiatry and psychology from over 100 years ago there was no description of their soul in their unconscious mind if we looked at Freud or even Adler or others they talked about a person's conscious or unconscious they talked about a person kid or ego or super-ego and so on but there's no mention of the soul in modern psychotherapy and that's a very big mistake because for thousands of years people believed in their soul and look towards their soul their neshama and their relationship with God for relief from what they were going through but modern psychotherapy got rid of that and therefore left many people devoid of finding spiritual answers in the therapeutic process I believe that spirituality however needs to be reintroduced into psychotherapy it's very important you know a Pew study came out a few years ago that said that over 90% of Americans believe in their soul believe in God and actually turned towards kind of sparkle towards God in the time of distress in a time of trauma or a time of depression or anxiety so if that's true why should therapists take that away from a human being the ability to talk about what's deep with inside of themselves and we believe according to the Torah and Kabbalistic thought then what's deep inside a person is not just their intellect but the neshamah but their soul if that's true and if therapy doesn't talk about this then they're not talking about a very powerful part of the human being it's incredibly powerful the word root commuter spirituality comes word Ruach which means wind the ability to lift something up so clearly if we get in touch with our neshama with our soul we can lift ourselves up from very difficult circumstances and therefore spirituality should be the next most important part of therapy I don't want to dismiss psychotherapy therapists are good at talking about self beliefs cognitions misperceptions of the world that's all very important but what's one thing that can lift everybody up is a sense of spirituality in fact a very famous therapist Margaret Warren Berger once wrote that she'd been treating depression for many years and she felt that despite all of her therapy clients still needed a daily regimen of meditation prayer and spirituality so therefore I suggest as follows go ahead and seek out what is spiritually meaningful for you for some people what is spiritually meaningful may be prayer for others it might be Jewish meditation for other people it might be going to the beit knesset to the synagogue and praying and singing smear oat with other Jews celebrating the hugging the Jewish holidays together or the Shabbat services go look for a balance in your life so independent of therapy you could spend an hour a week two hours a week in therapy I would suggest that you spend the least that same amount of time in a spiritual endeavor try to choose something which is spiritually meaningful for you I can't tell a person exactly where is the source of spirituality they basically intuitively know and can start searching around to see what gives them comfort what lifts them out of the present condition therefore I suggest you spend an equal amount of time developing your spirituality as you develop your own sense of positive psychology I look at psychology and spirituality as two wings of a bird one wing will not lift that bird up into the air but two wings can do it effectively therefore I believe you should continue to search out your spirituality and realize that there's a limitation to psychology there are certain things which psychologists don't understand for example why do bad things happen to good people the soul inion of guilt ghulam of reincarnation psychologists have no idea what that means our holy books the eye areaa kodesh and our sparring our books talk about the importance of reincarnation and they talked about the importance of prayer and they talk about the importance of fulfilling the mitzvot for example we believe that one can experience tremendous spirituality by keeping the Shabbat by stopping to work during the week and looking towards focusing primarily on spirituality for an entire day of the week lifts a person up from where from what they're going through at the present moment so therefore I suggest that you seek out spirituality as well as seeking out therapy and I believe together these two things may help you for example overcome even your insomnia let me give you one more piece of advice a very great book was written to help most people today from a spiritual perspective overcome depression and anxiety it's clavo table vote meaning duties of the heart and this great book has a certain section called sharbat Aachen or the gate of trust many great rabbis has said it's very important to pick up this book which exists both in Hebrew and in English today and read a little bit about be Tahoe read a little bit more each day about developing your trust in God and from the viewer who sent in the email and asked me how can spirituality affect their insomnia I want to make one suggestion please try to read this book the duties of the heart the gate of trust for a few minutes every day before you go to sleep I believe that if you read this book for a few minutes every night this will increase your sense of spirituality put your mind at rest and may even help you sleep through the night welcome to this new series of Vita Brut called marriage matters my name is rabbi Daniel shomba and I'm a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in New York and around the world via Skype on this important series I will be answering your questions you have about marriage relationships dating parenting and about any issue dealing with family relationships but more than what I have to say I want to hear what you have to say so please email to this address and send in your questions and I'll try to answer as many questions on this new show