Parshat Vayeira: Throwing a Child Out of the House - Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein

[Music] I found preparing for shear this week something that I've been looking for for years because I heard it and I could never find it and I found it and I'm going to end with this he says the following it's called the period rebel user and he says the following so let's go into the backdrop a little bit so everyone had your small and he had yet Scott sorry Ameno said to Aram you got to get your Shmuel out of the house it sucks growing up your small is causing him to fall and to go off to direct you cannot sacrifice my son for your small overall Aveeno loved you Shmuel as we shear we saw in the bed rich and he said no I am NOT throwing my kid outta I am NOT throwing my kid out of the house and sorry man you said you offering your kid out of the house so what do they do a room said keep him in the house I can change him sorry mainland said while you're changing him he's changing your coat you don't have a right to hurt one kid for the other so they went to our shrimp we can't do that right but he went for real ha kodesh - mm I want to keep your schmaltz or want to mouth the shrimps that sir has bigger rule - out you cannot allow him to hurt and destroy yet Scott I have one two three school Iowa high school and I have two seminaries I've never in my life and I'm a rabbi in Crown Heights - Shiva I have never in my life throw the kid out of you Shiva except for one girl I threw a girl out of my high school why did I throw out of high school because she was destroying other girls you have no right to ever send the kid out of school unless that kid is ready if she's doing drugs you got to help her we have her talk to her detox her do whatever you have to if the love that kid in help psych it if she's selling drugs no you cannot hurt you cannot make my school unsafe for other people so if you're a Maki if you are hurting other people I do not have a right to allow those people to get hurt by keeping you so the basis of ever throwing a kid out of school is only is there a masti if they're causing other children to go down and in a household it's very hard to ever throw a child out of a house and I am totally anti ever throwing a child under the house but if that child is coming home and taking all your other kids down their responsibilities to the other kids so the only time you have to send the kid out of the house is if they're preaching what they're doing to the others and we hope that most kids you know they go to their room they do their thing they don't affect the other kids we don't throw them out of the house I run a little few small out of the house did you imagine that the same father the toll gosh um I don't know which kid you're talking about these through my house you said you got to go you got to go with your mother hugger and you got to go that's what I Shem said that's what my wife sorry may not want you gotta go says this unbelievable ticket your every ISM listen carefully so he threw him out Jewish of Roman Jewish multi base sorry the angel a Shaka Romney man oh he says but Avril Lavigne who never forgot his son when you small was 37 years old he was thrown out of the house and you Schmoll married a woman interesting from the Elvis Lowell from from Oahu he married a woman the eeschema the name was ISA I in huge shin-hey dope Lisa so that was her name she came from all over mashaallah shot him after three years there now he's 40 years old you Shmuel he's out of the house three years how long I'm wrong really just you shwarma no I'd rather just throw him out he said I gotta go see what's going on my boy so he asked sorry May no permission and he said which which I had a very interesting heretonight and she said if you swear to me that you won't get off the camel when you meet him I don't want you getting off the camel making yourself comfortable there you want to meet anyone I talked in one day we doing fine you have to swear to me you won't get off the camel she swore it took him a half a day and he comes to your schmoeville son Danny throughout is living and there is your smalls wife ISA on my loan hey could we smell with now she didn't know that whenever I'm Latino she's never met him where's your husband you small so she said holla the email they went into the mid bar to get together date on my law so he said to this ISA to newly me out laughs ahem can you give me some bread and water I'm hungry and I'm thirsty - I'm sure I'm tired I'm Malay she said to him ain't let him to a Mayan old man I don't got no water no food for you I remember where did she come from whoa whoa it's in my book on spiritual DNA she came from oh what's the spirituality of white why can't we marry mo of because when Christ came out of a tree and we was thirst in HoN we we asked him for better water what did they say no Lowell has it in their DNA it happened to ready my mom's time okay okay so now aroma vino this is the opposite of what he stands for he stands for food his clinic of his son Ishmael was to oat who ran to get the food for the mohawk him Ishmael ran so this guy you Shmuel married a really woman wife so you think I'm only going to leave without leaving a message so he leaves him a message doesn't want to insult the girl so he doesn't want to say tell you small I said you he should divorce you so that's not a realm of you know so he left him a subliminal message and he said the following he said his yellow Ishmael when he comes back to gigalo tell him that an old man give a message an old man came from the land of Canaan you wouldn't understand to see him but he wasn't here tell him that in the end I think this house is going to collapse that was the message you should all comes back old man from canal enough my dad the house is going to collapse means that this wife would call the bias is not good for me right she brought your schmoly either way your shirts at the bar there she told him whatever I'm saying Shoko should give us as well as initially on the spot he's a boss doing get rid of her as a kid who got thrown out of the house his father comes to visit one father he's telling you what to do you would say dad you threw me out now you tell me who to marry get out of my life Jenna Jenna Roman you shwah wait we're not done okay what does he do he has a wife so right away he gets married to a actually his wife harder makes me shut up and there is a woman named tumor well movie knows very upset that he came to this is his son and he has a house that they don't give food so he waits three years and he comes back and he comes to see you small and against Allah says when you go you can go you can see him you could talk them don't get off the camel we're gonna get to why don't get off the camel he swears he's not gonna get off the camel he conned his wife the new wife is it the Torah the tumor she's called the tumor which means to stop the fatten that's her name but too long he says where's your small she says he went with his mother there in the mid bar there grazing the camels he says could you give me a room since could you give me a little bread and water I'm hungry I'm tired she takes our bread and water and food she gives it all Tazo all about our Brahma Brahma stands up well higher miss powerless knackers well all burning Dobbins toward shem for his son the first time he did not diamond for his son could he did not want to give a brush on a house that doesn't that makes money but doesn't sheered the business was sudden but here he's sure there's a house of cut said so he gave him a rock home this male basically show you small and the house of you show became full would boyish mall when you're small came back she told him this man from Kanaan an old man I gave him to eat and he gave us all kinds of blessing I wasn't carefully I said this to a group of parents last night we see carefully to the end of this shot be Yoda you small and your Schmoll realized shot I show that on all this time that he was out during the desert by himself right all six years raka made out of all of his father was always a pity on him and was thinking of him Shamima to rock him about money by BBQ Dustin when this one's and it's amazing she'll like shocked us our automobile was below you small even though I sham says get him out of the house he's no good he still didn't forget his kids how aquabox when he went to visit in and on top of that he told him who to marry who not to marry he says and therefore play Kazi because of this she live safe Casa de Schmoll the chuga in the end you small did Shuvo people come to me all the time how do you deal with kids off the derrick look in the Torah first kid off the Dara you smile how are wrong or be new bring him back by showing him that even though I had to throw you out I love you I care about you and I'll never forget about you and not only that I'm not scared to tell you what I think is good for you because in the end of the day telling you what I think is good for you is because I love you today this story which shown that fly you Pruitt kid out and then you're telling him how to live are you out of your mind you have no rights after you slowly get out you have welcome to stay in his life and the goddess the greatness is that you small listen what kid getting thrown out of his father's house and father calls up like you know I don't like to go you're hanging out with like that old son you really like them to grow he probably gets rid of her what should we do that you threw me out of my house where did that come from why don't you should well listen to him and the answer is because of their relationship because I Roma Vida was the same father but didn't understand what God was talking about the one I love war there's not enough love in my heart for both of them would you bring up a child like there then your child knows that you love them then you then when you admonish them when you tell them what's good for them they know it's not coming because you need to say it but because they need to hear it what a difference I talk about this all the time not that you need to say it is that they need to hear it very different relationship this is Torah 101 relationships with your child I know we have a principal here and I'm not talking to this principal that's for sure and this is one of the problems in your shiva's today and this is one of the problems in parenting today and I myself made this mistake so this girl that I threw out of school because she had to go because she was destroying not one girl but it was totally out of hand and I knew that I was right what I did I saved the school for one girl what should I do she was so angry a very tough kid she was so angry that she would not apologize she I let the door open I said you know what I'm gonna give in you stay out of school for two weeks and you can come back she I wouldn't come back I hope you drop that she went at me like nobody went at me and I'm like okay I open the door you don't want to come back there was no question that I was right what I did for two years I didn't talk to her she didn't want to talk to me I don't want to vote for her she was bad-mouthing me in the street no problem no Kippur I'm a narrative show every Yom Kippur three years ago I'm standing by the coastal at 3 o'clock a.m. because what speaking is like 5:45 in the morning so I go to three hours before just to get quiet to dive in to get close to em to connect you know where do you plug in with the outlet those in the wall so I go to the wall to plug in up to the outlet is right you look what if I need a wire or from looking so I'm a claim that's you know I'm on the unemployment line for 2,000 years when the job opens up I want to be first I have a right right I'm standing here so I'm standing by the closed one it's 3 o'clock I Shems my witness I can't get her out of my heart I never heard a kid like this you know I'm gonna call her no way she can answer my what a call it's three o'clock I stepped back out of the play so I go to the cut sir i dial her number she doesn't recognize my number she picks up hello am i I am begging you don't hang up she goes who's this I like it's Robert Wallace Keene I have something to say don't hang up she was like am listening I'm not getting into a discussion with you about who was rolling who was right what I hurt you and you're a lot of pain and I know that's the last two years because we were very close to fight through her out we were probably the closest all the girls in the school she was the closest to me I had a crazy deal of paying her $100 a week the whole story and she was lying to me and I knew annotator anyway because I didn't want to hurt her and of course the one that you give the most - you know no good deed goes unpunished is the one that's going to stab you that's the test that's the test all right Cesar e to boot aah that Shakespeare wrote about it so this is a kid and said I just want to apologize for what I did because I saved a bunch of kids in my opinion but I need to apologize for hurting you because even if you're right if you hurt somebody you're wrong even if you throw someone out of school you need to go visit them around lovino you need to go see how their house is doing you need to give them advice you need to show them that you didn't throw them out of school for your good because if you really threw around a school for her good then wanted to follow up for the last two years if you did it for me so why don't you call me say let's go out to eat let's talk about it maybe a different school you never called me I said Adina I am asking you to forgive me before Yom Kippur for the pain that I caused you in the last two years she said I can't it's going to take me time sir you got time I'll call you next year I came back I went out to eat with her every including this year every of Yom Kippur of three to three c30 I call a here in America with 8:00 to 8:30 and I like you forgive me yet she gave me a long time ago because I really care about her so yeah how many kids was thrown out of schools nobody has a call to see how they're doing nobody ever call two three years later did you get into high school did you go to college are you married what's going on no map it don't exist look what happened to your Schmo you really throw them out and you want them to get better the only way you schmoly - la because he knew that his father cared about him though he left the house appearance throws a child out of the house so on so they're not living in your house that means you should stop taking care of them so you took them out of your house because you were affecting other children so then put them in a beautiful apartment take care of them love them show them that you love them you want them to come back they'll only come back if they know that you love them it's not rather wall scheme it's in it's in on Hamish it's in our forum where a father says god I don't even know what you're talking about there's not enough room in my heart to love all my children what are you talking about risk he does says that if you don't give the love to your child you're not considered their parent this is not psychology this is not a book this is Tyrell I'm not telling you anything on my own is not an opinion like any anyone opinion here and we need to you from inside you need to tell them that you love them you need to tell them that you love them no matter what and if they have to whatever reason they have to leave you have to follow them it's a mistake that I made and I'm a cynical one prom and I'm the big speaker I let her go for two years what am I going to what's going to be after 120 years when they show me this kids pain when I'm going to live in her pain for two years how am I gonna deal with that so she's life with me but I can't take back that pain well that's why I came it tonight it's one person and one grandparent or one parent tells their child that I'm proud of you well that I love you when my whole speech here was worth it and that's the relationship that we have with God I talk about this all the time my proof of God I get I got HDS coming out of every corner that you can ever believe every kid that goes online says she's a Jew that's 40 atheist places on the internet to go to prove that there's no that that it doesn't exist I'll tell you my proof of God the proof of God is exactly what I just told you the proof of God is that the biggest sinners the people who are the biggest sinners in the world the guys from Isis the biggest murderers rapists killers stealers the worst people of the world get up the next morning how can the next morning why does God just take him out is there's a bat I don't if you ever heard about to start school it's superb at every about the Super Bass $250 you just touched the ball and it's a home run it's an unbelievable batch and aluminum bats a lot of very expensive this mother has a kid and that was just for kid he strikes out all the time you can't hit a dribbler and nobody wants to choose energy you don't know what I'm gonna get swamped sort of things a therapy for torn $50 $15 bottle back you're gonna get up to touch the balls giving over hold on I wanna see if it goes at your father's back so most days she comes oh here's the mask I bought you a super bat go out of a good friend just touch them all dip it this is really bumming super bad mini MA yeah love you Louie let me teach the bat what is his mother with it she was what black he baby with the bad her friends of the earth cheeping take away the bat you crazy why are you are you trying to do with the bench goes listen let him finish hitting me and then he's gonna go outside he's gonna hit a home run happy hit that home run if I can hit me anymore because you're gonna play with it it's worthless for me to take this beating a crazy beating so that my son's gonna hit a home run so once my son hits a home run it's gonna be a different boy ladies and gentlemen that is the story not of you but of me every morning of everybody we do our bailiffs ashamed you this eyesight we look at things we shot it here the ears music the things we shouldn't we eat things we sure we touch things we should it right all the five senses right and then welcome I like why are you they're taking the bat which is life right we give every morning and they're taking the bat and a whole day god they're badass you they're looking at things easier and it's talking to loss and Jara just bang in a bank the bank's case so free no more than honey tomorrow take your soul ones up there why are you letting this guy or girl a woman pitch you over and over a sham take some bat away why is it give me why the people are sitting only critique instead of life this guy's swimming what do I need you for out because God is my proof to atheists you could you have to be God to be like this because God says the following you're right this guy I gave eyesight he is looking at porn and things oh my gosh I gave this person a mouth she is talking gossip she is killing people I gave this got hands oh my but I'll take a beating submission all day any years nine years beat me every day but maybe one day she's gonna take the bat which is life and hit a home run and change and step into the light it's worth it lanham hit me 90 years for that one moment that he hits the home run that's how much God loves us otherwise it'd become he did something wrong Puff the Magic Dragon he's gone but he gives us another day another day another day and beautiful eyesight and ears and senses unbelievable he gives us all to us even though we use it for the one thing so many times he gives it back to the back he gives it back that's what we showed us his love even sometimes he throws us out oh he threw us out we got thrown out we got thrown out of one day somebody does then we got front of another base of meters then we got thrown out of Spain then we got thrown out of Europe oh man we've been thrown out of the house many times the God is always there just like by you small to come visit us to make sure the world Kinyon it was still here and we're still here now the last question because it's 9:30 we're going to dial admirers what's the deal with swearing to Sara that he won't get off the cable I could not find an answer to this it doesn't say anyone why couldn't give up the camera sit down at a team have a have a falafel of those days that what you started have a talk so I asked a rough today and he said something amazing he said he doesn't know for sure it's the answer what he seeks it's the answer sorry man who said we asked a Shem what to do and he told us what to do if you're going to give off the camel and move in with him then it sounds like that the only reason you threw him out was because of me not because it was the right thing to do so you need to come and you need to show him your love you can't move in there if you move in there you're saying really you're small I want to hang out with you but the reason I can't hang out with you is because sorry they know your mother they were jealous and her son and you were jealous he could run the video that's not what this was about not about jealousy this is about doing the right thing for your club so yes you could go to your son you could show me a love you could give him advice you can do whatever you want but don't you get off the camel and move in you get off the camel to move away what are you telling you small you tell me well this wasn't from God because sorry manor with galas because of a song is hot so yes show him your love that you can't move in you can't show him that you really want to be with him because then you're showing that it's not Hashem but it's me I don't know if that's the answer or the logical answer the only answer that I really really have so I broke up to everyone here is that God should give you a lot of time I researched element I researched on them to be parents and grandparents and great-grandparents which surely didn't exist in my in my what's of all today buff shall we even have great-grandparents as any ago in here right now we even have great-grandparents and now I gotta bring us back to see the other side will say no and we should walk away here tonight if one of you calls into your kids bed tonight and says I love you and don't ever forget that I may not have told you enough then tonight was worth it and that would be the biggest evil a neshama for both booth and Marx mother who loved their children like nobody else thank you very much you