Parshat Ki Tetzei: Divorce - Rabbi David Kaplan

I you okay we're a couple more points we want to finish up here in paresky say on page ten 58-page 1058 we started talking about yesterday about divorce I read those took him again the fourth line from the top GE cafe isha hawla valyermo seems okayed by NF komatsu bear buzzed over because of laissez-faire creases Amanda's wife does not find favor in the eyes of her husband so he writes her a bill of divorce um the Nelson B LOL homie beta he sends her from his house the yacht's of ebay so now let's say she leaves his house the whole cavalli shot here and somebody else marries her who snaeh huish chacarron the second husband dislikes her as well because of laissez-faire Croesus that he writes her a bill of severing and other words he gives her a divorce as well Vanessa on Bo the vishaka baby so he sends her off oki imusa chakra and assure local Alicia or if the man dies the wife is one roommate woman is married to reveille reveille divorces her and then she marries Shih mode and that wedding also is terminated yo shoeman either dies or is divorced there is actually a category of a woman in halacha was called a cat Lonnie's a woman who has had three husbands who have died one should not marry her she is obviously uh I think it's three is it to 22 is ax-cut lodi says she's had two husbands that have died already then then one should avoid Matthew might be my focus of the himara one should avoid marrying her because she has apparently bad luck and she is she's what's called a Catholic nice especially when she put cyanide in the food so she is she is a cat lon is the one would be wise one would be wise to avoid avoid Maria 10 tribes you would have married while his son right his son both is both of writing and yoda yoda marry her good good yeah there was no there was he not he saved your sister in law passed away Ned that's ebel there's ebook nitsa then we're going to talk about that today as well okay so there's a famous story about a guy two guys are sitting in a bar and you know they have a couple of beers a couple of drinks one of them says to the other one you know you know I might have been married three times and all three of my wives died so he says wow what happened to well the first 18 poison mushrooms the second one as she ate poison mushrooms to to the thirst going she died of a fractured skull fracture so what happened she wouldn't eat the mushrooms huh sevilla the honey God the only a joke is all a joke Justin hasta la vista baby it's a challenge okay so it so the here the Torah says the second husband is either died or divorced now look at pasuk Dalit lo you Cal balihar Hashanah sure she'll hello Sheila cockrel oh yes Alicia the first husband who had sent her off cannot take her back and remarry her ah hooray I sure who Tama Austin she was already defiled Quito Ava Helia shamanism Baba nation before I Shem the low 70s Arthur shimoga todos a la cucina corrupt the land mr. shammi God gives you now so i'll tell ya a shaggy good morning pee shacking halacha over here reuven Mary's Leia they get divorced then lay a merry Shimon and they get divorced or die or Chevonne dies she can no longer she is completely off-limits you can no longer go back to room 8 that is our locker now ro vain that's scenario number one scenario number two reuven and Leia are married and they get divorced Leia goes it has an illicit relationship with Shimon they never got married they just they just live together and then Ruane wants to remarry her he is allowed to remarry her he is lawed remarry hear this she marries shim ohn validly Hopa in condition at that point she could no longer go back to the first husband if she simply commits an act of immorality with Shimon then she could go back to her husband drew it so she cheated not as she cheated on her husband they were the only to Geralyn she's off-limits ours if they were divorced and then as a single woman sheet she commits an act of immorality then she could go back to her husband if she got married legitimately after she divorced her than she can no longer go back prove it what is the logic behind it well what logic their brotherly a woman commits adultery g-goo borealis you go back doesn't make sense kill ok I mean Jim button right but you go but you don't be actually good everyone you know what's up whether you know she go to the contrary she's got look so you got more incentive to commit or immorality than to get married legitimately what's out Mary well why not but if she convince an actor from reality she could once she gets married yes but what you give a say in where le you know I mean which is better marriage or morality every why should she be penalized where we got married a second time so the very interesting thing about 40 years ago those of you proud of you who are American may remember it those who are not American you should be American but the uh yeah the UH the wedding God the the about 40 years ago I'm baseball is the most famous trade in baseball history which was Fritz Peterson and Mikey Kitsch traded wives two players on the Yankees players any ink is well mr. fogo remember this Fritz Peterson and Mikey Kitsch and they were at a party they were drinking at a party and somehow mr. Peterson and mrs. ki khichi ended up driving home together and mr. key kitchen mrs Peterson ended up driving driving home together and the neck they said think the guys they say hey there was those great you know I had a great things nice talking to her or whatever in and I said it was great then the next day they decided you know let's do that again and everybody realized everybody liked everybody else so in the most infamous famous case of baseball history first Peterson mike is traded families and they decided that it would be best for two children to stay with the mothers so for its Peterson adopt married mrs. key Kitsch and became the father of the family they even I remember I remember seeing it then they even traded dogs even traded dogs they traded kids wives dogs and it was a famous wife swap they they were then they were then our first Peter said in mrs. French Peterson and mrs. key kitchen at to this day are still I still marry a great marriage in my key kitchen mrs. Pearson I only lasted a couple years that I remember seeing also they'll last a couple years but then they they were as into it as for a sphere said it was really Fritz Pearson's idea and Fritz Pierce it was then booed in every ballpark in America well everywhere he went to his food because they was called it was called the wife swap and they were wife swapping and they even said they even said that he said later as I didn't realize people would see it that way you know we just thought you know you know it was all about love it wasn't about wife swapping you know they you know which is beautiful now what the Torah is saying over here is we have to be concerned about white swapping now we're talking about people who are how luck people so let's say young people who are thank you very much they are both halacha and they are immoral so what's the best we could do within the letter of the law reuven and Leia get divorced and Leia Mary's shamone with a good condition then shamone in and Reuben Mary's raho in the meantime they both get divorced again and the wives go back in other words you could have over here approved wife swapping because it's all done every step of the way is done kosher the at the Torah says we're gonna set you off at the pass we're gonna stop you for that ever happening you divorce your wife she marries somebody else she can't come back you what about if she commits an act of immorality immorality is extremely uncommon from women are not women who are going to commit an act of immorality we don't have to be concerned the Rue vinyl divorces light wife and she'll then commit an act of em right and then come back through it so in the rare circumstances that it happens okay you could we could tolerate it it's not something that's going to catch on in the society because you just have immorality in a Torres in at our society is just it's important people do not get involved with that sort of thing wife swapping where it's justified and ratified according to halacha that's a serious concern because we recognize in the literature is full of indications immorality is something that is a constant and everybody's mind even at a funeral the Gomorrah says you could be at a funeral and the eight Sahara is still with you could be in a few I could be in a funeral in front of a gaping hole in the ground with a body in the ground and he's still checking out the girls at the funeral and therefore since it is such a powerful powerful that's why we have all these offenses that were created the idea of you food idea vehicle that you're not allowed to be alone with a member of the opposite gender other that your mother daughter you know ought to be alone behind a locked door because we know what we know what can happen the eight Sahar comes behind a locked door also and he joins everybody and there rule of threes a crowd does not apply because he's not visible and there have been numerous scandals involving people who should have been beyond this behavior because they got into the situation they didn't they didn't expect to be the situation they got into the situation and as a result of the situation they they ended up stumbling therefore you have so many safeguards that's one of the reasons why in Pierre calvo's and pirkei avos there's a mission that says skulk the catalyst Roche laughter and levity lightheadedness Margie Leela irva bring to immorality coca-cola's rush laughter and just just a lightly attitude lead to lead to immorality know the commentaries explain why is it the answer is it's the only avera in the Torah immorality is the only avera in the Torah it involves two rational adults two rational god-fearing Jews under normal circumstances the severity of immorality as such how are you going to get two people to agree to do such a thing the answer is you remove any sort of focus of serious focus and you get into laughter levity a couple of drinks and the next thing you know immorality is there therefore the Torah is so conscious of it everywhere you look the Torah takes their safeguards against being in situations of a potential immorality there's a famous case I think I mentioned this in the visitor famous case a couple was on a ski lift did you ever in a story this couple was engaged her firm couple was engaged and they went out for today they went to a ski lift this case went to court in the United States I think it went to the High Court in the state of New York I might have even gone to the Supreme Court not sure he could look it up on check it online but the case definitely went to a high court in United States a couple was engaged and they went to a ski resort they were on a ski lift and a certain point to ski lift mail fan mail function in midair and they started calling for help but it was late afternoon and everybody in the ski resort he had left so there they were dangling in midair and they realized that they have a problem because they are now alone in an isolated place which is a problem of each foot so the young lady jumped out of the ski lift agenda breaking both her legs that was the case I know I know I know what you're wondering I know I know what you're wondering you know you're wondering any answers i don't know i don't know why did she jump and not him I don't know for all we know for all we know for all we know she may have been put right so so we're we don't know now the case went to court the guys went to the Supreme Court went to court and you know they sued the ski resort that you know you created a situation where I had a gentleman to break my legs the judge the nine jewish judge was not a sympathetic to the cause is attitude you know not understanding the laws of a foot has attitude was a listen girl if you don't like your date you don't have to jump on a ski look don't go out with him again so they're engaged does not have any how logic bearing when we talk about social engagement would make a commitment to get married that does that create any sort of the country that makes it worse not better because there's a certain a certain affection they now have which makes them more vulnerable not legible overall so she jumped out as he lifted broke her legs now the question became she obligated to do that according to some posts convergence on post game is since you ate went the prohibition of immorality is such that you have to give up your life rather than be involved in immorality now whenever there's a prohibition the provision is all-encompassing it is not only for example idol worship and all to be involved idol worship means anything even remotely connected to idol worship and therefore they according to some postgame at least one of them would have had to have jumped now it's not clear not clear i don't i don't know what the final what the final answer was I'm only telling you that that's how that's a conscientious we are about this sort of thing therefore the Torah says over here that a man must not what he called a man was not the you cannot read marry a wife will use divorce that she's married somebody else because of the because of the fear of what he called the fear of a bar L you