Our Family, Our Strength - Principle #11: Talk and Communicate - Rabbi Yirmiyahu Abramov

salam we continue in the series of the twenty five basic principles of Jewish child rearing so we are up to principle number 11 talk talk talk one of the most important vehicles of a child's growth is his ability to talk and to listen and this is largely the role of the parents children going to school are not always in a situation where there's 25 30 little children competing for the attention of the teacher the some children who never speaking at school some children who just will never ever pluck up the courage to put up their hands to talk children have all the time tremendous amount of feelings within them these feelings as they go through their life's process of learning they learning they're absorbing their internalizing and they need to express these things children need to talk children need to listen it's no good for a parent if he in our busy lives sometimes the person is blessed with many children it just doesn't work if the child doesn't have this opportunity he doesn't have his time where he can talk where he can be talked to talk and communicate you know they the typical scenario is of a child at home waiting the whole household mean waiting for the father to come home at the end of the day and the father arrives and he walks up to me it greets everybody and in the greeting he almost talks for them he says to the child sir everything I carry school was good you played nicely you worked well he is the father has talked he hasn't let the child talk we need to give the children the opportunity to express their feelings they need to communicate these feelings they they have very deep feelings and they need to be articulated and sometimes children as this language skills are not yet fully sophisticated or developed children sometimes find it difficult to talk so when they intimidated they'd rather just keep quiet hopefully the relationship with parents is such that even if it's in articulate a child can talk a child can cry sometimes a child sometimes needs a shoulder as we've said before and it's imperative for every parent to remember this all the time children go through some pretty tough situations during the day tough social situations they sometimes ranked out they sometimes a review they sometimes I insulted they sometimes I hurt hurt hurt physically hurt emotionally and all of the stores up inside where they're going to give into this it's embarrassing for a child sometimes to give vent to his feelings in front of others in public let the child talk at home a parent mother father each one in their own circumstance give the tower child opportunities to talk let him express his feelings even if they said in a very very unsophisticated simple manner let him express the feelings sometimes he needs a long time to talk sometimes during the course of the day many things store up and as he goes to bed at night it's a very quality time for parents for mother father to be by the child when the child goes to sleep let him start using on these days events these are very important sometimes you amuse and you'll talk about Jewish happy a happier things sometimes you'll actually bring up some very painful things sometimes parents will discover all sorts of things about their children give them the opportunity to speak let them speak it out let them cry it out if necessary but let them give in to their feelings let them articulate their feelings and as parents and children talk and communicate so the bond increases the one develops and as the child becomes more tick ulit and the child is capable of more sophisticated thinking and more sophisticated thoughts and ideas so you'll share with these parents it's a fantastic opportunity for for closeness and for developing of a bond when we allow our children to talk let the little little baby the little toddler can barely say a few words says those words but give him respect yes we take you seriously we want to hear what you've got to say not to be short with them and not certainly not to laugh at their difficulties of expression and sometimes children come out with sometimes which appear to be very cute mistakes and everyone howls with laughter the child can be very very insulted by this so be very careful let them give them the platform they need to talk and this bond of creative communication is created between parents and children will develop into a bond of trust it Lavetta through the years and the child rely on the parents for support sometimes children will encounter sinister things sometimes they'll encounter dangerous things they'll encounter dangerous and sinister relationships that if they go underground and they're not talking it's a very dangerous situation let them come home and discuss issues let that teenager who's wrestling with so many different challenges on so many different fronts let that teenager be able to come back and talk it out with that talk it out with mum so important because so many things can be helped we can help them we can guide them we can steer them but we were to create this bond through talking talk and communicate it's an absolute vital tool that we need to employ with our children you