Love Your Friend Like Yourself - Rabbi Meyer Yedid

[Music] although the famous words of verbiage Eva pyaar ki raat says they are Saturday our mocha zeg love get old but aura but this meets run which is one of the 613 we thought the wine every one of us is commanded to love our friend come oka like we love ourselves so the occupy said is not just another Mitzvah he calls it a cloud got gold but aura a very very big principle in Torah which means that it goes beyond the one Mitzvah that is mentioned the Torah it's a principle throughout life and throughout the Torah the question is how does one fulfill this Mitzvah is one expected really to love his friend the way he loves himself we all love ourselves we all take care of ourselves is that realistic that we should love another person the way that we love ourselves some of the deshone even explained that this is not possible EF tion it's not possible to expect of us to love another person the way we love ourselves so then what is it or expect of us so this is what the give Miranshah pad says given a said a famous story of a guy that came to Shanghai and he asked him to convert he says but on one condition I will convert that you should teach me the entire Torah while I stand on one foot of course shammai says is not possible okay condition is to teach you the entire code on one foot one could learn Torah for a hundred years that he's not finished learning the Torah so shall I told him is not possible and then he came to he live and he answered the same question and he little accepted his condition and he told him that he will help him how is it a teacher the entire Torah on one foot say golden the famous words they are left sunny the Harvard huh looked a bit he told them what you don't want done to yourself don't do to your friend something that you don't appreciate if someone would do it to you don't do that to your friend via doc he told yogi Kula Torah this is the entire Torah the ether and the Restless right you might see there are other things in the Torah and don't seem to be connected he says yes Purusha the rest of the finished exploration simply emotinal learned rest but I basically gave you the tour on one foot now you have to go learning that it's like learning again my dad quickly and then you have to learn you going deaf to understand all the details if I gave you the entire Torah you fulfilled your condition obviously very difficult given I understand how this Mitzvah of not going to your friend well you don't want done to you could be the entire Torah what this has to do with sharpness what does it have to do with eating kosher what is that good Shabbat that I will go one big question but before we deal with that just to understand what Hillel is telling this person so the little seems to explaining that the valve a 1/2 gallery outside Kamaka which should be active I said is a great principle but he didn't say those words it is Telugu okay they are Thalia Kaka maka love other people and the rest explanation he chose his own word his own version of the Islam it is saved in the way that's what I said it he tells us in the negative what you don't want done to you don't do to others it seems that Hillel understood like the reasoning that we just said that you love somebody like you love yourself this is impossible so what does the Torah expect of me when it comes to this Mitzvah it expects of me to treat others the way I would want to be treated that's what he little Souls is going he told him a principle that he could understand he explained the Mitzvah in a practical way that it could be fulfilled it may not be possible to love every person next to you and if we think this is the miss van that's the only way to reach them is run we're going to give up very quickly because we're going to find ourselves in the test that's impossible or nearly impossible but according to you well it's very possible it's very comforting actually to hear the words of Hillel that all I have to do is treat others the way I would want them to treat me now that's something that I could handle that's something that's within my means to do don't harm people don't bother people don't disturb other people don't be obnoxious to people so many examples of this meat slide our everyday life we're talking every single hour of the day we have the opportunity to fulfill the mitzvot open histology our haqqin haqqa the way he lille has explained it for those who drive personhood late somewhere and he sees no parking someone's driveway is pretty clear right in front of this you'll see put your car then they after they are high commotion that's your house you would want someone blocking your driver don't block someone slightly in the middle of the night 11 o'clock or 12 o'clock people are sleeping and you're sitting outside with your friends and you're talking loud like it's midday don't do that if you would wanna be see if you would be sleeping you wouldn't want someone outside your house being loud and disturbing your sleep this provides asking us to be conscious of what's going on around us it's not so hard to do you just have to be considerate sometimes the person is sitting down and he seen an older person coming his way he's got a beautiful seat in the Senate he had his plate he had this fork and night everything is comfortable and this older person comes in and the older person looks around to see where you can find a seat and of course all the seats are taken by all the 15 year olds and 20 year olds could they get there first they have found that out I come home I said to you it's you or that man what would you want done for you because you want a younger healthy person sitting down while you're standing up what did you feel annoyed by a person sitting with his three four children and there's all the people standing up waiting for a seat be considerate when you have a good joke and it's really going to hurt somebody when they hear it would you want someone to joke that way about you would you want someone to say those words would you want someone to bring you down in public you wouldn't want that done to you don't do it to others this is a theme throughout it's not only with friends it's with teachers it's with rabbis if you would one day be teaching a class I know you probably don't see yourself that way but in life there are many situations equal to that and maybe one day you will be doing them if you would be teaching a class would you want others to behave in a certain way that would be not proper would you want guys to go to sleep in the middle of the class is that way you would like don't do with others be considerate of your employees if you were an employee how would you like to be treated would you want your boss to say thank you for working hard would you want to encourage you do the same for your employees basically this Mitzvah is telling us put yourself in other people's shoes and behave to them the way you would want them to behave you the haedong so fair were the great rabbis in the history of our people he writes in one of his tissue would he says I'm sorry I had to write back and answer to you without looking through my studying because I couldn't look through this funny white why didn't you look through spontaneous funny he said because my team are in the room when my wife is just gave birth a few days ago and she's sleeping so I wouldn't go into the room to get the books he has a whole library of books that he needs but he would not want to disturb his wife was sleeping this is the easy part of the Mitzvah the runtime however gives us a little more about this Mitzvah besides being considerate that I'm Vance says that generally speaking we like that other people should also succeed most of us if you answer would you like your friend Joseph to succeed in life you would say it would you like him to make money of course would you like him to do well in his studies yes would you like it to have a nice house of course would you like it to be a Ventura yes would you like him to be like you no I want everyone to succeed I want everybody here to succeed just not like me I always want to have what says the Torah they are standing outside come oh you should wish for others to succeed as much as you will succeed don't play the game of competition when it comes to your friends well-being don't try to be better and more successful to run easy to try to be successful you should want to be successful to make the most money to learn the most to be the best looking to have the most success you should strive to be the best that you can be and you should want that your friend should have as much success as you exactly as much not less don't strike it out do the other people don't always try to be the first guy although we suffer from this we stuff about being competitive I want to be the guy that's most liked I want to be the top of the clique I want to be the top of this sense that I'm buying this is in violation of their salary outside come oka now look I mean put yourself on the same line as others you want to succeed they just succeed to the reason why two people can have an equally large home there's no reason why two people can equally be great in Torah there's no reason why 200 people can have the same home the comfort of my home has nothing to do with your home why do I have to have something bigger than you why can't we both have something large and and beautiful why can't we all be ghetto lessor ass as one man once went there a great rabbi and he brought his son and he says Robert could you please bless my son he's a little bit of hassle you want he told them please bless my show my son and he should be a gull he should be the greatest rabble in I'm your son he told them to bless your son I'll be happy but the curse is idle that they should all be second to your son or third to your son this is something I'm not professional what I get to be a cut over you leave God always friend that means you want to be better than others the blessing is he should be a god Alba Torah he should be got old and all right and hopefully all of our micelle will be has got all of them why do I have these better than you to be good why can't I be a girdle and urea gato syndrome ban they asked allah azza come oka whatever you wish for yourself whatever you pray for for yourself pray for your friend to have the same not just one friend all your friends according to run ban it would seem that if a person during is to feel odd and maybe it's something we should be doing their hearts Allah towards the end of its Fela first of all during Fela we always pray for everybody the leshawna macula is not singular renfa and oh I don't know even in a pen we don't ask only for our if Elijah Lima we for everybody's a partial amount but as a new partner staff at everybody dot for everybody so we do it anyway but it's may be worthwhile during the end of the Tila right before the user that's ultimately the second one it's worthwhile to pray for other people and the prayer should be that they should be successful on the highest level just like I want to be successful take the people in your clan and pray for them then they should reach levels of Torah learning that they should be great it would seem that according to the RAM ban this would be a mitzvah of fulfilling their talent Africa maha wish for others what you would wish for yourself and no less come oka just like you of course it's hard fun jealousy stands it the way it stands in the way of wishing for others because our jealousy gets the best of us our jealousy that allow us to see others doing better than we do we must conquer jealousy and the most simple way to conquer jealousy like we mentioned a few weeks ago is m1 m and when ad that Hashem has made every single one of us from nothing and more now that Hashem put us into this world with a mission that's just for us and Munna that Hashem gave us everything that we need to succeed in our life whether it's in Torah learning whether it's in business whether it's in health whether it's in height whether it's in any talent that we have Hashem has given every single person his portion to succeed in life and like a rabbi tell us and Milo's know God by the death there is nobody that could take anything from you and there is nobody nobody that because they have more that means you're getting less this is all an illusion everybody has their helic in Torah I mentioned to the boys last night one of the things that we do in the eeschema which is seemingly inappropriate it would be against the principle of the Torah and that is to give tests we should have been giving tests how could you give in the same class 20 people the same test everybody has their own abilities how could you unlock a test with a standard and - oh you got a hundred you got an 80 so you're 20 less than him and you're 30 less than him and you're the best because you got 100 this would be inappropriate according to what I've standard because it could be the hundred of one person is a failure and the fifty of another is a hundred because we don't measure our success with other people we measure our success with what we can do so ready for my young age we're learning how to compare ourselves to others what did you get in the test so why are we doing it when I mentioned yesterday perhaps it's not a release man it's perhaps it's the wrong thing to do what we have no choice because when does a person reach his maximum capabilities when he worked five yes well you do the best that you can and you only reach your fifty then you are a gutter and you're a great person and your successful person and you will have CI - right on your life oh you got a fifty only this one your 50 is 100 but on one condition that you work on and I think that's something we probably all lack in how many of us are working hard how many of us are really reaching the most that we can and putting the most effort that we can so without testing people will do nothing so we put we have to have tests just to get people to work hard but they imagine a perfect world imagine everybody in this room will be working the hardest that they can it would be terrible to give tests if you're working the most and be putting the most energy or giving tests for keen on jealousy in looking at other people and measuring our success through others by the way this now explains what Hillel says Hillel said this is the klog as Oba Torah and the rest rest in the Torah in explanations and we asked what's the connection explanation what shaatnez have to do with after that I can look up what Shabbat have to do without Mesa and the answer is that the mist valve a italia ohok a mocha to love your friends like you love yourself to work for him what you want for yourself requires and you know that him having more than you is not affecting you one bit everybody has their own package nobody could take anything from you yes which for your friends to have the most success pray for success it's not going to hurt you really isn't it is just enough money isn't is just enough eight slices in this fight if someone takes a slice only seven left that's not what everyone else says everyone else in russian gave each person and will give each person what they need and once you fulfill the mitzvot over a salad after come okay now you have a mona and with my now you fulfill the entire quran because the entire horizon all the me sports artomonov it's a big bear Munna torii here once you have ammonia have Cola to ocula the tire to ride lessons and Emunah in all different facets of life so we have the Alcala de Oaxaca mocha and the first explanation is surah marij it's just avoiding being annoying and avoiding distracting others and being and not just others and then we spoke about wanting for your friends what you want for yourself and no less praying for your friends being happy when your friends are succeeding when your friend is doing well and or be happy for him when your friend is doing well in life be happy for him he just bought a building you need a lot of money be happy for him most people cannot be happy when they hear that others are succeeding they hear someone made a lot of money over selling this great pain hits their stomach and their heart starts to go a little faster because they're getting nervous what happened someone made a lot of money what does that do with you because somehow we feel if someone made a lot of money it means we're going to make less money and that's a buck of them you know so the second lesson of alcalá day I've had to look up not not just to be consider it be proactive be happy for all destroyed causes health or to succeed if you can make someone make money into human goods I do it like great people who preceded us in this community who was someone would go into business they were teaching how to do business what do you mean what about my business that's plenty of business there are millions of people in the world making money by teaching somebody else how to make money as well it's not going to hurt you where's you everyone else they are solidly out I can look up you can help somebody gain and become better in life either through feel I owe through help or through advice do it at the second part of they are solid si como the proactive part and then there's the highest level of the hospitality applicable the level that we see practice by great people in our nation a level of the Italia Hakka Hakka that perhaps we may see ourselves distant from its Divya salad ah ha ha ha ha giggling giddily Israel if the day a scholarly article maka that sees every person that sees every single person around us like our family imagine we looked at people under our own children like their own brother by their our own father if your father will come to you right now desperate for help we need something given it whatever you can to help whether it's prayer whether it's carrying things whether it's being different your father so I ask you why are you doing this you only do things to yourself well why are you doing this so it means my father and thought it's me my mother is me my children are me they are valid our Hockomock on the highest level is when we look at the people around us like family because we are a family I mean say L is a family we may look like other people in the streets but we are a family this effort has given rights I mean smile is the only nation in the world that if a Jew in America would hear about a Jew in India that got killed he was hurt in America because of the Jews I got hurt in India even though he never saw him he never met him and has nothing to do with him we don't find that by the rest of the nation says it's a hockey team because we are one family we are one body they are solid out heart telling every one of us the people around you are your family members they may have a different last name and maybe a different background but every single one of our misael is called B'nai Israel we are all the children of one man we are all the children of the aquamarine and such a feeling towards our nation in an obligation of a scholar a hakama it would not shot anybody here if I would tell you you know your mother she loves you like she loves herself said really you'll know that I bet your mother loves you more than she loves like that the kind of love that giggle they said great people in our nation aspire to such a love and half Susilo the love of family there's a great rabbi who passed away of shim shim pinkest this at Sadiq liberal son a man who had nothing really the physical world for himself but a man was very wealthy wealthy in Tehran meets vote he was once helping a couple who had shalom by problems and one of the things that the wife complained about when he spoke to her privately she told him you know my husband's he never he never eats my food I make food all the time he doesn't eat my food it's so bothersome to me when the rabbi approached the husband he says I heard you don't eat the food Archie allows food not good teacher I play the truth he says I have Betty hard for me to chew every time I put something in my mouth my mouth hurts I don't have the money to go to the dentist I need a whole new set of teeth it's hard to me to eat I want to complain to my life but I can't eat so now I went to his house took out pretty much all the money he had many a thousands of dollars he took out the money and gave it to the minute I told him go and get yourself some teeth someone who was there he asked the rabbi he says rabbi you know you obviously don't have that much money you just gave most of it to this man 40 why what's so special about this man what's unique if I would see one of you giving all your money to somebody I already asked you what's so special about this person that you're giving my money to your son to your brother so the rabbi is this man who asked and the question he told them if this was my son would you ask me why I'm giving him the money if your son would come to you and say I have no teeth I can't eat that and you see the father giving him money with you and hey why are you giving that guy money you want to ask me because it's my son say so what's the difference my son I said son is my brother stories of great people you should open up books and see all the great stories is too many to speak about when giggle exile great people in our nation treated their brothers and sisters and cousins and friends like their own children and care for them like their own children a man who brought cheesecake to his son in yeshiva who was moving out out-of-town yeshiva he wants to shove off that he bought him a cheesecake but then you realize that is twenty or thirty other people in the class how would they feel if this boy got she's getting it in Sabo cheesecake for everybody my son it's his son's other guys done well God's children what the difference between this one and this one that's a good size telling you were all God's children we're all brothers we all came from the same father little difference Bonnie attend laden ILS and we are all God's children could you imagine not giving your own brother what you need is that you do stay with the care for your brother so only all has ten children do we I have my now that Hashem is our father story a famous story if someone who came to sama Rebbe great men or the ghetto leave in this country I mean time Israel came in a Zionist that will keep us true God the something are not known for Zionism summer he was against it but this man came to the summary for help and the Rebbe asked him so how much do you need I'm just going to help you with it is really I need $1,000 in those days $1,000 giving a guy today $100,000 yeah he has thousand dollars to solve my issue the rabbi goes he capped the money and he gives him nine hundred and thirty dollars and then is so appreciative and he walks out the Morrigan's I am with the rabbi he knows the rabbi had $2,000 gift he asked the revenues is jiménez for $1,000 you wanted to help him you have $1,000 why did you give him nine hundred and thirty dollars he told them I thought to give him a thousand but then I thought because if I give him a thousand dollars he's going to walk away feeling very upset he's going to get himself over the hand saying it did he asked for a thousand he got a thousand in u.s. for two thousand he could have got in 2000 why she only asked for a thousand see you I wanted to make sure he walks out of here busy huh so I give him a little less so you understand so like you give and it wouldn't have mattered VSO moment this is our body style on a very high level not even a high seat of his in fact he disagrees with him but he's your brother but you have a brother you don't ask those kind of questions it says the victim exams was destroyed because of Cena I am Janaki Nam literally means baseless hatred for the ring baseless hatred what was the last time you hear someone for no reason that was the reason if right now you have someone that you don't like it's for a reason could you imagine see someone for the first time the guy did nothing wrong to you and you just hate him baseless hatred what was the last time you saw someone have basal nature put that mean Basin hatred mean of course it's always a reason to hate somebody but the reason is not enough dating your brother they bring a story of a manager of a teacher a rabbi a Rebbe in school one day one of the kids and the classroom a little kid a little boy was playing with pencils doodling while the Rebbe is teaching so there are days when they used to get in a little smack today this will not be tolerated but in those days they had a stick like a baton halav dad a little stick I'll say yeah that's right and this teacher walked over to the Kirito and put your finger on the table and he took the stick and he slapped and unfortunately a part of his finger ripped off and the kid went home parents saw themselves I can't believe what they just saw it frankly what did he love what did her ready sat down with him he look what she did to no reason he does that no reason because of the reasons you know your son was doing in class just playing with pencils they talk to dance and reason I got enough reason baseless hatred means it's not a real reason you don't take someone's finger because they play with pencils just because someone's did something not 100% it doesn't mean we have the right to go and destroy the person and it's called scene Arcanum that's called baseless it's always a reason but it's not enough reason we don't have to look into every single thing a person does and analyze this and see where was the guy coming from and what did he mean and he probably hates us and he's probably planning to destroy us and to kill us not enough reason your brother famous cute story about to get ready he had a coat and and every person that allow something to do we have tallied our shuttle every person that I would show how to perish I had the connection to the Italia Sakamoto we got to polish our pilot one of the Fantini is really where you see in falaqa they are telling our huh come on Wendy but what do you see it it does not very easy he doesn't look at the word ballot this they after Lambeth LaRocca cook come over they after Lilia Kaka maka ballot the domain everyone to give me but they have task of the bath not a bit and kabocha aha not to say literally thousand if you're going to be so me that big if they are telling on how Kamaka you'll never know how to fill this mixer to going to be so particular the date and the valve and the co forget if you have influenza let loose a little it's your brother so we learned today three things three levels of this in fact the simplest level don't be ignorant don't mistreat others treat others like you want to be treated such a simple rule to follow in life you will be loved for it you know fulfill them in that way the second level is more proactive one for others what you want for yourself and no less come okay pray for other people's success starting today starting today make a little to fill out and give you a suggestion you want yeah that is right make a little Salah and pray for certain people around you pray for them pray to addition succeed with all the great successes of life no less than you pray for them and if you want to fix someone who are you having a little competition even better someone that sometimes you see them as they're your enemy or the one that's taking away from you where you should be if you have such people in your life as rabbi those are the ones you pray for pray that this person should be successful should be bigger though the Torah should be the top guy Asia should be all muscly on everything he does - make it with five or ten people pray father's wish upon others and when you hear other people are successful be timaya have the Emunah that hashem is not taking anything away from you just because you had a drama when you feel happy for us is that reason to give you one that's a positive that i want to father's care for others want their success so come on and the last one that we should all strive together the Italia I can walk out together they said where we treat every single one of our misael and our brother because we are brothers we have a fun they are federal marijuana the Consul said I mean pursue ends love your friend like yourself any action file God and a rubber disc what any I am doing away every consulate right away radiation why we are other day I had a robot get the ending ani hashem i am youth care basket famous story did they bring a very powerful story the message of the story is extremely powerful the story of two men very wealthy men who lived in two different cities around the world one live in Baghdad in Iraq one lived in Cairo an issue and they would cross paths during their business dealings they will travel from place to place with each other and they became such close friends and some years later the man from Baghdad in hard time excuse me and put the mail in Egypt here on hard times and he lost all his money he went from the top to literally the bottoms Europe he had nothing to eat a proud man always - a thorough with game now is meaning to take it was very hot fish at some point is wife chosen you know what was suffering for once already he says you have a good friend in Baghdad your best friend he has money maybe go to it maybe you can help you rescue the situation was - are you weighing those days after walk he walked for these until he's finally reached Baghdad he was exhausted he was sweating he was clothed he was ripped he was dirty it was nice he's not gonna go to my friend looking like this not the way that she got to meet my friend if you know what let me just sleep here in the morning I wash up and I'll go see him so he found a piece of bread somewhere in the park and he laid down on the grass covered himself in his blanket and he went to sleep in the middle of the night he is noise people screaming people threatening each other he hears one guy telling his friend if you don't give me the money right now I'm going to take this knife and I'm going to stick it right in your heart guys scared is sitting inside dogs can see what's going on and then he hears that a guy took a knife and he killed a guy and he sees not far from him the guy laying down dead middle of the night and beg that what the guy does he's scared to drive it stays till the morning in the morning the first thing comes like police come they see a man murdered and they see a guy sitting next to him of course they think he did it they accuse him of killing the person they take him to the judge just says pretty clear you're the one sitting down you want laying down next day and you get either one got killed there I didn't do it he says we don't believe you and they made a date that they would take this person and those that country you murder someone you get killed but they they would kill them in front of the entire city they had gallows they would hang him in front of the entire city everyone would come to see so nobody would do this again and they made a day to disguise and and be killed in the middle of Baghdad did they come they take him out to the gallows and they put him up there they write they about to put the rope on his neck and people are gathering thousands and thousands of people are watching what's going to be and one of the people watching he looks Hey I know thank you yes that's my friend from Cairo so he starts screaming and he makes a mad rush to the front I need to stop stop don't touch him it was me I killed him I'm the murderer he gets to the front from the guys ready to kill again he is she's all gotcha I killed one then the guy from Cairo sees his friend tried defend him he says don't believe him I kill and wasn't in don't listen he's lying the guy did nothing he says other guy kill and he kills not him the other guy each one says doggone good kill each one says take me on put me on the gallows then had a choice in his life but is your neck you killed both you don't kill them you know what the matter is is it will go to the king the king accidents like know a new situation hasn't happened in for dying the Constitution they go to the king they tell him the whole story they bring the two men the King said listen gentlemen I don't know what's going on here I can't begin to understand with you guys I'll do it but I'll tell you this if you give me a good explanation he says I give you my word you'll both go free if I can understand what's going on you're all going to go free so they explained the story how good how good friend they're each one said I know he would never do it I know this guy would never kill I'd rather die before him such a beautiful person such a good man how about that guy should to leave this world each one said the same thing about his friend when the King finishes he hears this he said gentlemen I let you both go but I have one condition he says I want you to include me in your friendship he says I have many people that like me and I have many friends but friendship like this I never saw I want to be number three the suit says way after they are kockenlocker a mansion when you have people that love each other and protect each other and respect each other and pray for each other a chef says I want to be in this relationship and you know what happens when action is with your life could you just imagine what it's like to have a shame would you life you know want to see i - Miami it mean that everything you touch will be gold it means every project you work on your succeeds it means every marriage that you'll be involved in you will be muscly I mean every child you'll have you'll see success sea otter - Maya is the ingredient God's presence in a marriage makes the marriage God's presence in a business makes the business God's presence in your job in whatever you do in life if you have Hashem with you you will succeed in a big way in anything that you do in life who doesn't want here to succeed who doesn't want to be the most successful in anything that they do you need one ingredient it's not the people who are the smallest that are succeeding and it's not the most educated and it's not the best-looking and it's little formula for success in life there's one formula success in life it's called CI TARDIS Riya it's called Hashem is with you I need a shame I'm with you if I shave is with you you have a claw ha you want to get a Shem in your life find yourself good friends love people around you when you love the people around you Hashem says I want to be right David that on its own is reason enough to want to fulfill this with Ron the highest one besides all of the things that we learn we consider it once for others to succeed like you and treat everyone like your brother and like your family because we often so that's all you