Love is Unconditional - Rabbi Yitzchak Breitowitz

[Music] although we're already more than halfway through the month of Cushman I think it's important to note that the month of freshmen is called Marcus fun now mark Cushman literally means the bitter month of Cushman and people like to say that the reason it's called the bitter month of Cushman is after a busy month of Tishrei that had so many holidays Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur and circus and sympathy Torah all of a sudden we come into a stretch where there are no car game at all and there's a certain sense of a downer I no longer have this very spiritual uplift that will lift me up now again as I say in truth the idea that Mars reference to bitter is actually probably not true Marv in Biblical Hebrew can refer to rain and Cushman is the rainy season but be it as it may the folk etymology of Marvin is it is the bitter month of cushman but a sipper casitas point out that in many ways the month of ashwin in its very ordinariness is the most important month of the year in the sense that the true test of whether we've been inspired and uplifted is not how we behave in moments of inspiration but how do we behave when the inspiration is no longer there and therefore in a sense therefore session is the litmus test of whether we have grown and whether we've been transformed by the yummy mocha in by the Days of Awe or whether it were just another experience easy come easy go and it doesn't leave a Roshan it doesn't leave an impression on our soul so the ordinary is really the extraordinary meaning to say it's everyday life that is where as the expression goes where the rubber hits the road and of an American an expression that is the test of whether we've been transformed so therefore one should actually look at this month as a very special test for Marco as to how will we carry forth you know Cuba you know during the month of El oh and during the High Holidays we think a lot about chuhwa repentance change growth transformation and then Canada after Yom Kippur already even in even during Sikhism certainly once your of the holiday season we think oh good I don't have to worry about Juba til next year that's really what type of tube is that right Cuba is about kind of making permanent and real changes and even if they're small and incremental they are very very significant because they represent a statement to the Almighty that I want to grow and I want to become a better person and I'm gonna try to do something this year to show that I really mean what I'm doing okay so that's something to think about now in these parties you know for purchase braces no acts we began with kind of the universal history of the world God creates the world and then there's a flood starting with last week's Parshin of course continuing in this week's parsha for the rest of the book of Genesis and certainly the rest of the Torah we are much more narrowly focused on the unique relationship God has with the Jewish people and these are the partials were worried about the patriarchs and the matriarchs of ROM yet sake akov sorrow rifka rock over leia and hassan teach us a very important must a very important key to all of these parties called masa of Oh Simon Lebon him whatever happens to our patriarchs is a sign for what will happen to us in our in our future and the ROM bond in particular takes every single event that happens to our brah music and Yaakov and he tries to show how it foreshadows what's going to happen to us in our history for example aram goes down to egypt in the time of famine and Avraham leaves with great wealth that parallels are being enslaved in mitzrayim and leaving with great wealth Yaakov II knew were going to read dug to Wells and the wells were filled up by the Philistines as an act of harassment that corresponds to the two temples that were going to have that are going to be destroyed and the third well that the it struck Doug was allowed to remain nobody nobody filled it up that corresponds to the third temple that shall never be destroyed the Rabanne kind of takes it event by event but I want to focus really on a different part of the story and really it's more last week's partial than this week but it's it's it's kind of a continuity and that is Rama Beano was born into an idolatrous family he was born into a society was not born in Israel he was born in Mesopotamia and his own father was in the idol worship business or the idol selling business as it were and somehow through a very mysterious process of Rama veno intuited even as a child according to some image Russian at the age of three years old according to other Madras him he may have been older was as old as 40 and most commentators understands that this was a developmental stage he began his search for God at 3 and he fully understood at 40 whatever it was and when he's 75 years old the Almighty appears to him and says leave your land leave your place of birth leave your father's home come to the land of holiness that I will show you and I will make a covenant with you and I will make you a great nation and those who bless you will be blessed and those who curse you will be cursed and you will be a source of blessing for all of the nations of the world no cuz though in the oral law give us a whole backstory why did Hashem choose I've run why why of all the people in the world God chooses this one man and says I'm gonna make a covenant of love with you and with all of your progeny so cuz I'll give us a gazillion reasons why Hashem chose Abraham of Rama came to understand that Hashem exists on his own Avram tried to teach godliness to everybody else that's a nephesh the souls that he acquired in Harlan Avram was willing to die by being thrown into the fiery furnace remember his father was an idle merchants and he put over him in charge of the store and I've REM smashed the idols and when tariff shows up and says why did you break the merchandise our firm says who says I did it the idols were fighting with each other so tariffs says come on you know the idols can't do anything and our firm says so why do you worship them and why do why do you sell them so he was taken into custody by evil king Nimrods and he was given a chance to recant and he did not recant him he was thrown into a fiery furnace remember he didn't know there would be a miracle he was willing to die and I shouldn't did a miracle that's why his brother I run I run that is Sarah's father loads and servers father he was sitting on the fence he said well I'll wait and see what happens to our friend if he wins I'll become a true believer in a sham if he loses if he dies then I'll go with the idols so he sees our forum gets saved hundred says I believe in God also he gets thrown into the fiery furnace he dies because he wasn't willing to die you see it's not that Horan had a sin it's praise a perfectly legitimate response to say when I see a miracle I believe in Hashem that's not a sinful response but it's not the type of response that gets you a miracle Horan didn't die as divine punishment Horan died because that level of omona you don't get a miracle for that you get a miracle when you're willing to die so there are gazillions of reasons why I am chosen for him but here is the very simple question if I read the Commish alone and I asked myself what is the reason the hamish gives fresh am choosing Avram when I've Roma 75 the answer is there is no reason that is given at all without the oral law it is a mystery the Torah does not give us the story of the idols the Torah does not give us the fact that I've Rama veena was thrown into a fiery furnace except in a very indirect way because the locale of Avraham is called or custom which technically means the furnace of the custom but that's not that's not the literal translation so the question becomes obviously God had a reason to choose that for him and God had many good reasons to use outrun but why does the Torah make it as if it's a mystery as if it's a light of a bolt of lightning out of the sky and there's no reason at all that's given why a sham just zooms in on this one person and says I am making a covenant with him so that my ral gives a very very beautiful thoughts that's very meaningful to us even today and he says the following idea he says Pirkei avos talks about two types of love there is what is called IVA - lugar both of our love that depends on something if I love a person because they're beautiful because they're rich even because they're kind because they're good I love them for a reason the problem with that love is buckle a doubler when that reason goes away the love goes away but I love somebody because of what they can do for me what they can give to me when they can no longer do it no longer give it why should I love them but then there's a deeper love that's called IVA Shaina to leave a doubler we would call it unconditional love love that does not depend on anything our souls connect an absolute love that no matter what happens that love remains sava Shana to Lubitsch over yeah here's the thing God certainly had reasons to choose our own because Hashem doesn't do things without reasons we don't always know the reason and here cuz I'll gave us the reasons our room was good he was righteous he was holy he was devoted he was willing to give up his life he taught godliness throughout the whatever place he was but if the Torah would have said I am choosing of room because of a B and C because of his righteousness because of his holiness because of his goodness that would have defines the relationship as a nava hallelujah bids of our what's wrong with that what's wrong with that is that in the course of the centuries the Jewish people would have not always been living up to that standard as I am says I love you because you're righteous then what's gonna be when you're not righteous what's gonna be if you're not only at that point but love devar if the reason for the love is no longer here baklava the love is no longer here God knew that the Jewish people was not are not always gonna live up to the madruga of Ephraim so Hashem didn't want to say so to speak I chose you because of something rather a college bar who says I have my reasons to be sure but the definition of the love as it is defined in the Torah sure but love is I love you for no given reason at all and therefore now I didn't need that insurance policy because whatever reason a Shem shows our own best reason would always exist but we need the insurance policy that God's covenant with Avram becomes a Nava anatolia bit over and what does that mean that means that even when the Jewish people sinned even when they far far away from what of Rama V who taught us Shems love for us is still here Shems connection is still here the love is unconditional the Covenant is unconditional now that doesn't mean there are no consequences to bad behavior unconditional love does not mean a lack of responsibility for the way we live our lives the HEPA actually the parser tells us but the more love Hashem has for you the more discipline I think of a muscle sometimes you know if you see a stranger giving again putting aside the paranoia we have about strangers today but if you see a stray person giving a candy to a child that doesn't tell you if that person is the father or not because even even a stranger might give candy to a child but if you see a person hitting a child they're disciplining a child and then you know that has to be a parent because nobody would dare discipline somebody else's child now power is actually you think giving a candy is a bigger act of love but no to give somebody good things even if I'm not your father I'll give you a good thing but to give moisture and to'kustar and a clap only a parent does that same thing with Hashem in a very funny way the plastic says in michelin lama hemella asa share yaha hashem yoshiya he who has shem loves he gives Mooser because hashem cares about us when we misbehave when we wander off the path he instructs us he pushes us back there might be people with whom uh sham has less of an intimate connection he lets them slide you know they say inste but co the greatest Shiva in Europe so the the great spiritual presence in the sheaf of sobotka river of no sands fee Finkel who was known as the altar the old man of slip out get me out there's the vodka so they say and his job was to be sure that people were you know following what these she got to do that they were progressing in their service of God in a proper way so they say the strongest Mooser he ever gave you is when he said nothing to you and he ignored you and he gave you a free pass because that indicated he was communicating your beyond redemption so guys who had missed davon in which sometimes come to him sure say they wanted to hear as much or they would say no Rebbe I miss Dominic today I came late to Seder today and if the out there shrugged his shoulders and said okay that was the most painful rebuke that you could possibly get sorry to understand in other words they were hoping he would yell at them they were hoping he would be harsh to them because that meant I care about you you're worth it you have enough in you that it's worthwhile for me to give you toca it's a people with Mama she'll be crushed if he did not give them a okay baby this at night that's really peripheral to our point the point we're simply making based on the morale is that unconditional love does not mean free paths may be Lapith unconditional love means Hashem involves himself with us in a much more intense way sometimes with godless and [ __ ] bond and punishment but it does mean that the love is unconditional and even when there's harshness and even when there's punishment it is out of love and care and concern it is not out of rejection it is not out of hatred everyone knows I mean so we've been through so many many difficult experiences and we continue to go through many difficult experiences Crusades and pogroms and Holocaust and terrorism and war and anti-semitism but we have to know that our Shems love forum youth rally is I have a nod to Lou Ubud of war and that is why there is no reason that is given for why a sham shows around does it mean there isn't a reason no of course there is a reason but the a bashar doesn't want to give reasons because that would make it over to Lou you bit so violent and this has to be over Shaner to leave it's over you know there's a story one of the biblical books I think anything I may have talked about this forgive me if I'm repeating but I think was a while ago anyway is the story of Hosea the Prophet Hosea oshare was a prophet who lived during the Exile of the ten tribes before the destruction of the temple and Hosea is given a very bizarre commands by God he has given a command to marry a prostitute imagine this another another holiest man of the generation is told to marry a prostitute which he does and she continues to practice her trade and at that point illogically he's supposed to divorce her woman can woman commits adultery during a marriage he's supposed to divorce her but he had difficulty doing so now there is a hallmark locus this actually happened or is this a dream that the Navi has the Mobe has a dream of this but what's the whole point what why is he marrying a prostitute what does Hashem want to communicate so cuz that'll give us a back story to the story of Foshay and that is o Shia is a Navi he is speaking to a wayward people he is speaking to an evil people people are doing many sins and he's giving them Mooser over and over and over again to chew Verducci birds and true birds are truven and they're not responding they continue to do all of their avails so at some point Hosea says Dasha you know Jim these people aren't worth it why don't you just forget about them abrogate your covenants and make a new covenant with a new nation this is kind of the opposite of Moshe Rabbeinu with Moshe Rabbeinu after the sin of the golden calf what a session saying I'm going to destroy the Jewish people and I will make a special covenant with you my Shura Boehner says oh no no no no if you're going to destroy them destroy me as well erased me from your book I don't want a private deal it's either the Jewish people or I want nothing Oh Shia took a different tack Oh Shia himself was exasperated by the failure the unsuccess the lack of success of his mission he said to Hashem Housley Fame but we'll mark iris exchanged them for another nation and in fact Oh Shia even had a holic argument to us yet because God has to keep the Torah - he says the God you know the Jewish people are like your wife if a wife commits adultery husband is supposed to divorce her give the Jewish people against so he wants so Shia through understands what it's like to marry a woman who's unfaithful to you but you love her deeply just the same and he wants you to share to experience kazuya Cole as if it's possible what are shem experiences with us yeah we are the adulterous wife we are the unfaithful spouse Hashem should get rid of us but the love is too deep the love is too strong he once got to understand you know you can't get rid of her I can't get rid of them understand what it means to care and that is the notion of an unconditional love it doesn't mean there won't be punishments it doesn't mean there won't be Thomas but there's a very big difference between punishments and discipline and chastisement that come out of love and that's which comes out of rejection a very very different situation and that's what the morale says why there is no reason given for the choice the election of Avram now to go on a little bit of rum comes to Eretz Israel at the age of 75 with his wife Sarah and he has a circumcision at the well at the age of 86 from his concubine hog or he has a smile right seventy five eighty six ninety-nine he is commanded to have circumcision he circumcised as himself he circumcised his two sons from Al who is thirteen and three days after his circumcision he gets a visit from three figures who are in fact angels who he thinks are just people our Arabs walking around and they tell him and sir overhears this news that a year from today your you will have a child from your wife Sarah and what is the pus of teloth sorry is overhearing this and Sarah laughs to herself and she says after I am withered and I've lost the freshness of youth shall I be able to have children and my husband is too old as well and the three guests who are actually angels and that's why they can hear all this they say to our friend why is it that sorrow laughed saying that she is too old to have a child of course she didn't use the word old about herself she actually said her husband was too old Rashi says so the Gemara says from here we learn out you're allowed to deviate from the truth in order to avoid a maloca scene the husband and wife if he if they would have said she said you were too old perhaps that would have heard of roms feelings so they changed it she said she was too old but be as it may they criticized her does she deny that God cannot bring her a child right and then Sarah denies it to serve herself so sorry to the left so there's a lot of questions here because question number one is at the end of partial F LaHood after I've rama v know had circumcision Hashem himself came to Avram and told our friend you will have a child from Sarah and the persik says Avram fell on his face and he laughed and indeed that's why the child was called you suck he shall laugh so here's the question when Sarah hears from the Angels that she's going to have a kid and she laughs she's criticized for not having faith that a sham could give her child when I've run here's the news he led I've room is not criticized why is Avraham not criticized for his laughing and sorry is criticized for her laughing why is Avram's laughter more kosher more acceptable than the laughter of surah he may know so it's fascinating that the targum uncle is uncle s was a gare who lived in the time shortly after the destruction of the basin make this recording tickles that it actually was a nephew of one of the Roman emperors and he became a Jew and he became a tunnel he became a great great Torah leader and he translated the Torah into the spoken language of Aramaic right every woman has uncle lists and Danka lists is a very very literal translation most of the time most of the time it's like a one-for-one literal translation but occasionally uncle is deviates from the literal and that's very very significant and this is actually a fascinating example where the uncle is deviates from the literal because when the word by a from is for its [ __ ] he laughed the targum translates it but a day a day means he rejoiced now with surah it says the word vote its [ __ ] now but its [ __ ] is the same word as fayette-scott well youths Clark is masculine but titsfuck is feminine so the Torah uses the same word he laughed she laughed but in the case of Avram the Aramaic is vaca day he rejoiced in the case of Sarah it's the guck ship which means she left so the target was trying to tell me as is obvious that there's two types of laughter that a person could have there is the laughter of joy and there is the laughter of cynicism and scoffing and the targum wants to say that of roms laughter was the laughter of joy and Sarah's laughter was the laughter of disbelief now the cash on that obviously the reason the targum says that is because the targum is trying to answer Akasha how come our arms laughter is not condemned and sours laughter is condemned the answer is our arms laughter accepted Hashem saara disbelieved it but number one there is a cache on that because number one so why does the tyree you you would you're translating the word differently but the tyre uses the same word moreover how do you understand Sura denying that she left she she did it and then she denies it is she lied and another question about this is even if you're gonna tell me that Avram believed and sorry did not believe well I'll give you a very big difference Avram believe because he hears it from us Shem now who is sura hearing it from it happens to be she's hearing it from angels that are emissaries of God but she didn't know that so she hears it from three no I don't say bums but three guys who wander if off the street and you know they're watching the dust off their feet the mud off their clothes and they say you're what's gonna have a kick next year she has a right not to believe that so even if you assume like the targum that she doesn't quite believe it she has her reason not to believe so let me share with you a very very fascinating Parrish of the rsam who really looked to this in a totally opposite way he actually says the truth of the matter is God tells our from he laughs out of joy he believes the melaka or these three people tell sorry she believes and she laughs out of joy same thing joy joy belief belief acceptance acceptance Flores laughter is the same as our drums laughter in a positive way so the question then becomes so why is Sura criticized so says the Rin listen last week's partial already Hashem told Avram that they're going to have a child isn't it logical to assume that Sora already heard that news so in effect Sarah is not hearing this for the first time she already heard it from a rumor for what happened now that was different so Raschi brings madrasah that what sura is experiencing right now is she is actually experiencing physical changes in her body she began to menstruate she began to go backwards she began to become youthful so says the rsam she is laughing out of the joy that she is physically experiencing a fulfillment of God's miracle but here is the Kasia why are you laughing only when you physically experience God's miracle why didn't you laugh when you got the message that such a miracle would happen meaning to say the following without Rama V know the level of M Luna was so strong that as soon as she hears of God's promise that becomes as real as a physical event Sarah also heard about God's promise and she believed it but it didn't become real to her so she experienced it so this is totally a different shot when the Moluccan say mama said suck like Asura why is Sarah laughing the earth I am says why is she laughing now and didn't laugh before if her Emunah is on the highest level Hashem's promise is as real to you and maybe more so than what you experienced in your own gun sorry believes she believed there that she believes now but the fact that there's enough kameena the fact that there's a difference between belief and the joy of seeing it in your own body means the Emunah is not 100% and that's why when she denies it she's also right she's saying I didn't laugh because I don't believe I do believe so she's right but the taina is yes you believe but why is there a difference between hearing Hashem promise and seeing a Shems promise I remember years ago you know the Kumari discusses in mrs. kitten certain laws about Babylonia Babylonia is Iraq right and the Gomorrah says how do we know that Babylonia is north of Erika's realm how do we know so the kamara quotes a parsec in the number year me oh when it talks about the exile from the north shall come evil that's how we know Babylonia is north of Eretz Israel now what is the Kumar doing here I mean if I would ask you how do you know canada's north of the united states you look at a map how do you know what the [ __ ] um and we're sitting in but well they didn't know that bubble is north america strap they have to have a puzzle they were in bubble they know where witches rail was and the answer is this just shows us how our minds are sometimes the opposite of the MS we think why do I need a puss hook to tell me something that I can see with my eyes my eyes are the most reliable guide and what do I need an inferior literary source but in truth it's the opposite what the Torah says is much more reliable than when I see with my eyes you need to say I don't need to look with my eyes the Torah says it that's the real Emma's so that's the nature of a moon you know the guar gives us a story in machetes Bava Batra wherever yo conan said to one of his tell me them that they are said lava when the Messiah comes when the final redemption comes the gates of the walls of you shall I am will be made of slabs of jewels and precious diamonds and rubies that will go up many many Amazon so the gomorrah says there was a certain Talmud who was sitting in the shear and the Talmud you know but skeptical he said no this must be an exaggeration and I don't really I don't think it's true anyway the Talmud says that he was on a sea voyage and he got lost at sea and he sees floating on the surface of the ocean slabs of jewels that are like really really long and he's so excited he gets broken he gets rescued he comes back to his reverie Oakland and says I'm so excited Rebbe everything you taught me was right I can't believe it I saw it I thought I saw and now I'm excited yochanan said until you saw it you didn't believe it so the ending is not so pleasant reveal Kineton gazed at him in a very intense way and he burned up he became doubtful if somehow it came a pile of bones etc that's the nature of him you know that's the nature of it and this is what you call it darkest a very subtle subtle in other words it's not that Sarah do you believe sorry I believe sir I believe the hundred percent but what is laughter laughter is when you see it's so true you see it in your body and it's so true and it elicits this spontaneous response if Sarah didn't laugh when she hears the divine promise that means there's a tiny little difference between her faith and God and seeing it interaction body for our Brahma vino there was no difference Hashem promise is the ultimate reality now of course they tell a famous story although some people say it's not it's not it's not true so I don't wanna say it's been such a famous story that's been circulating for for many many years that you know the ROM bon writes that part of the condemnation of Sarah is that although she's hearing this from three people that's three three entities that she thinks are just people and they're not even tsadikim their hope their voters are Idol worshipers whenever anybody gives you a blessing you should always say Oh mein this is true because you never know who my Shem has chosen to be the channel of blessing say Oh mein somebody goes over to you some guy out of nowhere says may you have a [ __ ] of this year or may you finish us you know say I may say I mean you never know so they tell a story with the stapler and this is based on the run pound he says I'd learn about a man who went to the stifling says and my daughter is getting old she probably was 22 or something what everybody does getting old she's not married yet I'm worried about her so the stapler said let me ask you when she was born 20 whatever years ago did you make a kiddush to celebrate her birth so the person said well I didn't make a kid ich in some places they don't make a necessarily a kiddush for the birth of a child for a boy you have a bris but for girls you know it's more of a private event she's exactly said you got to make a kiddush for her now says why he says because any kiddush what do everybody's Oh everybody goes over to you like a hundred people more people go over to you and say may you be so glad to take your daughter to the clip man you know it almost becomes a bother after a while you know a hundred people two hundred people you know but you never know one of them might be the designated person to be the conduit of the almighty's brother if you didn't have a kid ish you didn't allow those people to be the scene or to be the channel to be pipeline make it additional in honor of your daughter's birth so she's already you know there's more than twenty years later the story goes he made a kid ish to celebrates I don't know how he explained it to the guy by but to celebrate the birth of my daughter a little late better late than never and everybody went over at him and said may you be so sure to take your daughter to the Copa and one of them was the designated channel and the story goes that a few weeks later she got engaged and got married in British M everything ended well again I I hear later that some people say maybe it didn't happen who knows but the new CUDA is based on the run ban the ROM bands the ROM bando say someone gives you a bra be macabre lit that cuz I'll say indeed because I'll save a famous altar he beer cars headlights common being ever even the brother of a very simple person should never be taken lightly Hashem chooses people for different missions in life you never know and maybe this guy's mission was to be the channel to give you a brother of course I just didn't do with a funny story there was a tremendous tremendous dying one is a great great great guy item of the 20th century the rubber Tubber Godin who was the co rabbi with the or Samantha with mayor Simpson are you she was named after him was the non casita grove of Dvinsk in Latvia and the Hasidic Rev was reveal a frozen called the rugged Shaw wreckage ever was the city he was born going tremendous genius genius just an unbelievable knowledge of everything by heart and he could retrieve any passage in the Bible you show me and anything at any time but he was very sometimes impatient with people who were you know not under MacGregor they should have been so people would come to me they would ask for Broncos give me a brother he didn't like your brothers I'm not a Christina sure baby I'm a Rev I'm a post a guy yeah so somebody said and the roguish ever in his modesty also said I'm not on the madre go to give breakfast so someone said to him because I'll say that even the brother of a simple man should not be taken lightly kava comer a great Thomas Holcomb like the rough so the record Trevor said why should I give you a brother through a kava Comair give yourself a brother without a compliment give yourself a break I said yes right we have with me you have to do it okay but Venus marry the truth of the matter is we should always open our hearts to be mikado broca's because be Ezra's to share those breakfast will be will be meconium so have a good [Music] [Applause]