Internet Addiction #2: Discover if You're Addicted - Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch

[Music] my name is Robert Daniel shomba I'm licensed Marriage and Family Therapist right here in New York and around the world via Skype this is the second on a series of Internet addiction and today I'd like to focus on the question of what indeed is addiction how do I know if I'm an Internet addict well to begin with there is a difference between overuse and internet versus addiction and I want to be very clear not everyone that uses their cell phone every day for a few times a day would be considered an Internet addict and in fact not everyone that looks at their phone every few minutes for communication purposes for perhaps some information or something more important to do with research or helping somebody medically or for legal purposes or even a rabbi to open up his phone and look for a Shila is not considered to be an Internet addict what is Internet addiction in fact what is addiction in general there are two things which define addiction number one is tolerance and number two is withdrawal what are these two simple factors tolerance is very very simple let's take the model of an alcoholic let's say somebody every day when they feel stress they come home from work has one cup of wine they have a cup of wine for one day they have them for two days for a week they've had seven cups of wine one cup of night comes the eighth day they have a difficult time it worked the feeling stressed they come home they reach for that bottle but one cup does not suffice what do they do they have two cups the first day two cups the second day in fact they have two cups the entire second week that means they've had 14 cups of wine the third week they increase the three cups of wine ladies and gentlemen that's what we call tolerance one day one cup is enough the second day doesn't suffice you have to date two cups and more and more that means the same power of that that alcohol or for that matter the internet had on you when one day you need that much more afterwards to survive to is withdrawal withdrawal means like this when you stop using whatever substance or device or behavior that you're addicted to you start getting withdrawal withdrawal can be seen by people shaking sweating having a racing hard panic attacks and so on it's a known physiological factor and those that withdrawal from alcohol can get into a very serious condition of withdrawal that can actually be severely life-threatening therefore it should be done under medical supervision but the same can take place with Internet addiction so you have to ask yourself that question can you really really stop I challenge everyone out there to examine these two things do they start using the Internet and I mean by that also the use of their cell phone just a little bit of day it is increased more and more is every few seconds you're looking at your phone or the Internet is every few minutes is it every few hours has it increased from a few minutes to many hours a day to leaving work and spend the whole evening on your cell phone and friends look around at your life it's amazing if you would just film yourself when you walk in the house your children want to see you your wife your husband wants to spend time with you how many times you look up at your phone when you should be looking at the eyes of your children or in your spouse as well this is so incredibly important to think about are you now tolerating and need more and more of your internet to feel that you're okay that might be one sign of addiction the second sign of addiction is withdrawal and many people say oh I don't eat my phone I could live without it try it for example if it's true I want you today to commit put away your phone when you come home from work from the office for one hour tonight from six to seven seven to eight eight to nine doesn't really matter and I want to see you do it now you may have some withdrawal symptoms I can tell you the first withdrawal symptom it's called phantom beeping phantom buzzing you're going to looking to see is my phone ringing we'll say they think they hear their phone is ringing it's a form of a withdrawal from an addiction they're so used to the stimulus of it they still crave the sensations of the internet but I want you to stop that for one hour commit to that one special hour I promise you that if you give it up for one hour you're going to start feeling a certain amount of pleasure in your body and in your mind a certain sense of calmness as we spoke about in the first video in the series you need to commit to sobriety I'm not going to be controlled by my phone anymore I'm going to put it down I invite you to examine yourself to see if you just have a bit of internet abuse as we call it or is it a real full-blown addiction try to limit your use cut it down every day stop it for at least one hour a day and if you could do that effectively we know this is not Internet addiction it's a behavior in your reach all you need is to exercise your free will and power and I guarantee you more success in getting on top of your internet and cell phone use welcome to this new series in Google group called marriage matters my name is rabbi Daniel Samba and I'm a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in New York and around the world via Skype on this important series I will be answering your questions we have about marriage relationships dating parenting and about any issue during the family relationships but more than what I have to say I want to hear what you have to say so please email to this address and send in your question and I'll try to answer as many questions on the future you