I'm Having Such a Hard Time Finding My Soul Mate - Rabbi YY Jacobson

the yeshiva.net I think it's important number one when we talk about this issue of shim and navigating the Waters of shim and trying to cross our own Red Sea and trying to part our sea and sometimes the challenges are difficult I think there are a few premises that perhaps can be helpful and meaningful to some of us and that is number one it's extremely important to remember that it's really really unfair to ourselves when we buy into the idea that before we're married it's like life doesn't count let's be frank about it we live in a society where family is so intrinsic so essential the trajectory of life is see you know you're born you grow up and one day be hm you start your own family and we all hope for that but we have to remember also that all of life is a journey and the journey of life is not something anybody can fully comprehend and understand nobody knows why they're born and why am I born at this specific time and why am I born in this home and in this family and in this community and why do I why do I experience these challenges and what's exactly the and the mission of my life so much of life is a mystery that transcends us so it's very important never to Define our lives in a particular form put it in a box and if it doesn't fit into this box it becomes worthless a much healthier and more authentic way of living is with a sense of openness and gratitude gratitude for the fact that I am right now A Channel for the Divine energy that is flowing through me gratitude for the fact that I am here right now having the ability to be able to express and manifest and embody Divine Consciousness Divine love through me that is ultimately what the meaning of life is right now right here do I want to try to attain my goals of course do I want to be blessed with all of the things that we know are blessings and very special of course but I never you never want to get so stuck in a certain Paradigm of what life is supposed to look like and if it's not looking like that everything is miserable everything is a curse it's just not feir to us it's also not fear to the people around us it's also not feir to our creator and what I mean by that is yes there may be disappointments and there is pain and it's very very important to empathize with your yourself and to empathize with others to have compassion and to be able to identify in a very honest and authentic way what you're experiencing but it's also equally important to be able to tell ourselves my life did not stop we don't put life on pause just because I'm not engaged or I'm not married I didn't yet build a family or this date didn't work out it's a challenge it's part of my journey but it doesn't mean my life is worthless so you say yeah but look at my sister and my niece and my sister is marrying off her 11th child and and I went last night to the wedding of you know my sisters what whatever it is everyone has all different experiences and there are tears and there is grief and there is sadness and I may have to grief grieve for a life that I imagined and planned for a trajectory that I foresaw and it didn't work out that way things happen in a different way but I don't want to remain in a place of Brokenness and dispar and hopelessness and just say you know my life is a curse to look at your life that way every soul has a journey Every Soul has a mission and every moment of life is indispensable to your mission every one of us constitutes an indispensable note in the cosmic Divine Symphony every single moment of Our Lives is a miracle like the says creation happens every single moment a new and what is really life life is really the breath that I inhale and that I exhale huah so the med saysa every breath that I inhale and I exhale is another opportunity for gratitude Nothing in life can be taken for granted do I have to be here did I create myself did I create the 70 trillion cells that make up my living organism that I create the nine systems that make my biology tick and function that I create my 100 billion neurons but I create my white blood cells my red blood cells my digestive systems my my digestive system my respiratory system my urinary system my circulatory system I mean each one is a grand Miracle of Titanic gigantic proportions unfathomable to the human brain and that's only my own life never mind every life that I'm connected to because I can't live my own I have to inhale oxygen I need to eat vegetables I need to eat fruits I need to eat whatever I'm eating we're all dependent on each other we're dependent on our planet we're dependent on our universe so no moment is taken for granted ever no moment makes sense the whole and the whole existence is one grand Miracle so what does it mean really to live to live means to be aware and consciously in tuned with the truth that right now the breath that I am taking in and I I am exhaling I'm giving out is essentially an opportunity for gratitude gratitude of being a channel for hashem's Creative power of life that he chose me to manifest his infinite light through me right now at this moment through my thoughts my words my actions my love my gestures my connection my attachment my faith and my living right now at this moment this we must never ever go away from you don't want to go out of that space because when you're anchored in that truth that your life right now is of ultimate value and significance and the significance is that you and I each in our own way can be a channel a Scher for hashem's light that anchors Us in an indestructible space of love and light and serenity from which we can navigate the journeys the challenges the turbulence the struggles the disappointments from a much more anchored and powerful and healthy and confident and empowered space I want to be able to experience all my emotions to experience all my thoughts but I don't want to identify with every negative and toxic thought to the point that I become that thought I become a victim of that fear of that uncertainty and there's nothing left of me I think it's also important not to repress things it's important to be able to feel the pain that we have it's important to be able to identify because if we repress it it comes back to haunt us it comes back to bite us the proper path of auna faith is knowing that every moment I am in the hands of my Creator who's embracing me like a beloved child like the B says hasem loves a more than a parent loves an only child who was born when they were older and they didn't think they'll have a child and even that love doesn't capture the infinite love that Hashem has to you Hashem has to me right now at this moment but part of that that Journey can include traveling to places that are difficult dealing with a past that may be difficult dealing with challenges that happened yesterday or last week that may be difficult and I want to be able to look at them with compassion with understanding with sensitivity with love but to look at them when I'm Anchored In My Own indestructible self which could never be tarnished could never be scathed could never be destroyed the foundation idea of that every single one of us has is has and is we are a fragment of divinity a derivative of infinite Consciousness an embodiment of Divine Light and therefore at every single moment we are anchored in a space of absolute Clarity of absolute love of absolute light that when we can take it seriously internalize it viscerally and make our soul our NE shall I kiss our our best friend it changes everything because if your soul is your best friend then ultimately you don't need to look for validation from other people to be able to tell you oh you're good you have value we think you have you have significance your soul gives you your value your Divinity gives you your value and now when I'm etched in that place I can navigate the journeys of my life and the challenges of my life with so much more clarity with so much more confidence with so much more resilience and resolve and courage and never allow disappointments or pain to derail me and throw me off my tracks and really overwhelm me to a point where I don't know if I'm coming or I'm going so I just made two major points in summation number One never ever Define the success of your life in terms of other people copying other people yes our community focuses on family yes we cherish having children and we cherish a life of marriage and we wish everyone look and all the good things and may all those blessings and prayers be fulfilled for each and every one but the journeys of Life are very very very mysterious and we have to respect them with awe with reverence and that includes your own Journey don't look at yourself and say I've dated for so many years nobody wants me I'm just one big failure those words are not coming from your soul those words are coming from a very very external traumatized victimized place in myself I want to rather rephrase it and say yeah this has been a difficult Journey a challenging Journey but you know what every day that wasn't doesn't work out is an opportunity for me to grow it's an opportunity for me to ask myself deeper questions to uncover a deeper layer of self every day that goes by is an opportunity for me to find out more about who I am to flex my spiritual psychological emotional physical muscles every obstacle is an opportunity and every opportunity is a challenge and every challenge every every obstacle is a challenge and every challenge is an opportunity and every opportunity is an invitation it doesn't mean it's always easy but nobody understands the secret of your schas and don't reduce it to a box created by other people or even by your own mind be open to the excit statement of the mystery of the infinite journey of Life the Journey of that comes down from the highest infinite places to a very dark World in order to be able to discover its own true light and in order to be able to illuminate the darkness in our world each of us in our own way and it begins inside ourselves we all have infinite light that confronts very powerful darkness and toxicity so yeah I so I think you know I I hope this is not coming across as just you know abstract nice philosophical advice but I think it's very very important when we could really tune into that space sometimes you know when life works out the way it may be worked out for some of our siblings or nephews or nieces or cousins or parents or other people friends classmates sometimes we're not challenged to discover who we are for precisely those people who went through real challenges and maybe people who are listening right now or watching right now or will be listening or watching and Only Heaven knows how much you have been through if it's not enough everything you've been through through childhood there's things that happened when you were a teen and if that wasn't enough do were other challenges you faced an adversity you had to confront so much more painful than the many other people you know and now you thought you'll finally find the right guy build a home it won't take long it won't be too hard and you'll experience Bliss and what are you're facing disappointment and heartache and heartbreak and rejection and another disappointed so I want to speak to you from the depth of my heart hopefully to the depth of your heart and that is those of us faced with serious challenges in life can't afford live superficially doesn't work for us too many bumps too many ditches too many obstacles we have to go much much deeper and you know what in many ways that is a blessing it's the blessing of discovering levels of self and layers of truth that other people don't have to discover you'll say oh thank you re I don't need these blessings I would rather have a simple simple life I get it I get it I alsoo but nobody asked me nobody nobody asked you the story of an is very very profound it's very mysterious it's rooted in very deep deep places and we have to respect the fact that we didn't create ourselves we have the opportunity to be a channel for infinite Bliss and love and that's a great privilege it also comes with a great responsibility it also comes with pain it's painful to show up and it's painful to know deeper things and it's painful to have to go deep into our souls but I still say say it's the blessing of knowing who you really are the fact that so many of you cannot just be Blissful in the way that other people the truth is everyone today is struggling that's true St people are struggling very deeply it's not now time to discuss but I'm talking about this particular demographic and group that is has gathered here this evening the fact that things are not coming so easy for you I have no I don't know why I don't know why and everyone should have all the Bliss they want and deserve as fast as possible in the easiest fashion but take every Challenge and understand that it's allowing you to get to excavate the deepest parts of your personality of your psyche and live life to the fullest even if the plan is very different than you imagined it to be two years ago five years ago 10 years ago 15 years ago being mature in life and being spiritually connected means living with a duality which is really not a Duality on one hand we have goals we all want to be successful we want to be comfortable we want to have a good life we want to have aack life we want to have an enjoyable Life One have all the blessings together with that it's also living with the humility and the awe and the openness and the reverence of understanding that we will never ever know the full depth of our journey and I want to be open to my mission and to the miracle right now at this moment and when we have this approach I think our entire attitude to dating and to relationships comes from a much much more empowered place right ra them from a place of desperation a few practical pieces of advice that I think might be helpful I don't think and I'm going to try to say this in a very sensitive way but you'll I think you'll understand my point you don't want to go out on a date in order to feel that you're validated in in order to feel that you have value in order that you feel that you're loved you know why cuz if it doesn't work out the way you wanted it to work out or the way you hoped it to work out what happens to the love what happens to the validation you need to have internal love you need to have self-love you need to have self validation you need to have self-compassion and you need a support system for that because we're all part of a unit we all need other people you're going out to find out if you you love him that's where you're going out you're not going out to find that if you're loved that's not the reason why you're dating very important then the Heartbreak won't be so profound because even if he says no she says no whatever the situation is you didn't go out to find out if you're loved you're loved you're loved it's absolute you need to give that to yourself you're went out to find out if you love him if you like him if he or if it's a case of the boy I would tell him if if you like her if you love her if you really want to build a home together if you want to bond and unite your two Journeys together and have this is a very very um important Point another important point the more you feel better about yourself the more you're in a place where you can be attracted and where you can experience the beauty of another person the other person can't be here in order to heal my stuff to make me feel that I have value I really have to work on myself and by the way this is true for everyone for singles and for married people and when people get married trust me this is a very serious issue because so many of the challenges I see in marriage and I see it constantly and I think we all see it is that very often people who have not faced their own wounds their own unresolved scars so easily project and blame their spouse for those issues and they don't even know it they're not doing it consciously and deliberately and maliciously it's just a defense mechanism my brain has become conditioned to protect me from any type of relationship and interaction that might threaten parts that have been exiled and hidden away for many many years and nothing triggers people in such a deep way like a close intimate relationship so very often when we get into a deep relationship those relationships trigger our deepest wounds people I meet in sh or classmates that I meet at a reunion or people I meet in the street they're not going to trigger those levels of self and therefore those relationships are pretty easy they're called acquaintances but it's precisely the more profound relationships that will also trigger the deepest wounds those relationships that will begin to replicate or touch on the nature of your self-esteem esteem your relationship with your mother your relationship with your father Rel with your brothers with your sisters your relationship with yourself those relationships that are precisely destined to go to a much deeper place will trigger you in a much deeper place and that's when we have to be very very courageous and ask ourselves tough questions is this about him or is this about me is this about her or is this about me maybe it's both and I have to be able to get that guidance and mentorship and have that support system to be able to address it because very often in life people remain blinded and it's sad they are in active trauma but they don't see it and therefore they always blame the other person because nobody ever helped them confront their own demons and skeletons which are very deep and you know what when somebody's triggering you very badly very heavily it's a tremendous opportunity to stand back with curiosity and ask what just happened why did I become so overwhelmed what just freaked me out why do I want to break the window why do I want to run away why do I want to fight flight Fawn or freeze why what just happened that introspection might create a tremendous tremendous amount of growth I want to say something else that I think can be helpful in this par and that is everyone deserves to have a support system we cannot live lives on our own we weren't designed that way we were designed to be connected we were designed to be attached to each other to give and to take would always say that Hashem made everything in this world to have a dual role it's a Masia and a ma everything every creature from a tiny little insect reptile bird fish Bush shrub tree mammal every adom every sell everyone gives everyone contributes something that little bee that I see flying around is contributing to our planet it's pollinating plants that can grow yes it's going to receive nectar it takes and it gives that's true even about a little Annoying bee that I don't like I actually I'm an a of bees because I know a little bit i' I'm fascinated with these little type Little Creatures I see the amazing element of it I don't like a b bite of course but I'm very careful the says Hashem sustains the most wild powerful oxen and the eggs of Li everyone is part of that purpose you think you're not I'm not every one of us is a mash every one of us is a m every one of us and the moment we take ourselves out we extricate ourselves from that cycle we're not fully Alive we are always constantly in a space where we receive and where we give and that's what it means to be alive means to be synchronize yourself with the Rhythm of Life when I find myself going into wallowing in a place of hopelessness and despair and I'm just looking for people to validate me somehow I'm not in touch with myself you always have to tell your mind to follow your soul rather than the soul following the mind and this is not about forcing I can't force my mind but yes I can tell my mind come back with another script or or I could tell my mind I'm going to deal with you later or I could tell my mind I understand what you're going through and I'm sorry but you cannot dictate my entire life and it's important to spend time every day tuning into that space of love and light and infinite connection and here we come to the point we give and we take and I think in this area and from a very practical point of view I think it's important for every person to create around them a support system maybe five people 10 people 20 people 30 people close family members distant family members people you trust people you like people you know care for you be uncles and aunts and nephews and nieces and cousins and siblings and siblings childrens and classmates acquaintances friends and let them all be part of your team part of your fan club if I may say because then you have 30 people looking out for you and you never know what happens but I think it's very very important everybody don't be embarrassed every one of us needs to turn to these people and say listen I want you to be part of my support system people will be honored people will be wonderful and you never know how things happen you know sometimes we deal with everything on our own it's not fair to you you can't deal with everything on your own you may not have certain people that you would like to help you maybe people are very close to you but for whatever reason it's not working out in the relationship or trust or they don't know who you are they don't know what you want fine so create your own team but create team team team s team Rifka team ra team Leia team B Team yank team team team shim team ruven whatever it is because as the PK says when there's when there's a lot of people connected to me we never know people have ideas everyone travels everyone has their own WhatsApp groups everyone meets people I'm not talking about squandering your energy and getting advice from every single person on this planet which will overwhelm you but I'm talking about people that that you appreciate that appreciate you respect you you respect them and they want the best for you it's important that we don't fight our battles alone and we don't navigate alone even the first we had we had we had it was it was a team was a team effort jumped picked up his hand all the Jewish people walked through the water became part of it who orchestrated all everybody's also needs a team effort I'm going to conclude my words with something I wrote a while ago I was speaking to singles and uh so I did some research and I wrote up a few points that I thought could be helpful when people were asking about dating and how they make decisions and I just wrote up a few points I can't say that they're organized and orchestrated in some encyclopedic and very deep professional way but just a few ideas that I think can be helpful I told the girls and I said you know when you're dating you want to always remember this I only want to get married once some people get married twice some people get married three times as I said before Nobody Knows the Journey of a soul but in my plans I only want to get married once it's important so when I'm deciding about marriage I want to know that I would like I want to know for myself that this is the person I want to live with till my last breath should be with messiah's coming because I want to be married once another very important thing am I truly truly truly relating to the person that I'm dating or maybe to an image of that person another important thing can I be honest about his flaws can I be honest about my own flaws do we have healthy boundaries what do people who are close to him say about him do you respect him for real is there mutual respect can you be open and honest with this person do you trust this person how is communication how well do you get along does being with this person bring out the best in you if he never changes do you still want to get married is he flexible can he compromise is he kind is he a mench what are his goals values what is he ready to sacrifice for does he know how to say I'm sorry I think actually I have this in my internet probably this list was given to me by a therapist I said before I wrote it up I probably edited it but I think I just wanted to correct myself andway these are just some questions I think could sometimes be very helpful in life and it's extremely important to know something else and that is that you know a girl called me a young woman called me she was heartbroken had a long date and she thought was so promising and promising and finally this person said no and now he wasn't even returning her calls and emails and so forth and she was so so upset it was so devastating to her and I said what's devastating to you and I thought she would say just the pain disappointment she said what's devastating to me is that I'm in love with them I'm crazy about him and I wish I can change his mind I wish and just then I I saw a letter that D wrote a young woman or maybe it was a young man I don't even know but it was an answer that came out and obviously somebody was dating a long time and it didn't work out and I think the person left to another country and they went with somebody else this person was heartbroken and the de wrote I think it was to a woman it was a long letter but just one point I still recall this was a while ago and the wrote her you know instead of being so upset you should be thankful because in the beginning you had so many doubts you were so ambivalent you felt that his heart wasn't there and his soul wasn't there and he wasn't genuine but you were doubting yourself and you were writing to me letters yes no do I believe him be so thankful that he is actually showing you his true colors he's not interested he was never interested this is not a genuine relationship he's involved with somebody else he's not even giving you the Dignity of returning your call thank God all your questions were resolved it was such a powerful idea of course there was pain because she was hoping that this is her husband she was hoping but the Reb says the pain can be from the fact that this journey is a complicated Journey but let it not be from the fact that he said no to you thank God he said no to you would you want to marry a person who's not really interested in you thank God he said no to you because you deserve a person who's crazy about you you deserve a person who really wants to be with you so sometimes the no is the greatest Yeshua it's the greatest salvation you one they should say no after 10 years of marriage you one they should say no after three kids we also have to remember that all the hardship we always have to say you know what this person wasn't interested I I would have hoped that they're interested but if the Heartbreak is coming from the fact that this person said no may be the greatest salvation because you only want to marry a person who really really wants to marry you I want to conclude with my heartfelt wishes and prayers hem should fulfill all of your heart's desires and your all experience in with revealed and manifested goodness and with Serenity and tranquility and ease and all your should be and each and every one of you should be able to enjoy a life filled with pleasure and delight and and that we should hear only good and happy news from each and every one of you and now amain now we'll go to the questions I see this 42 comments on the chat so I guess I'll read them okay L again let's start oh you know what let me first do the questions that I received earlier and then we'll do the other questions okay question number one I'm currently going out with a girl and it's going really well however I just can seem to shake off the thought of it possibly not working on I'm being heartbroken I'm working on my amuna but it feels like I'm trapped in the feeling that this is not going to work out what do I do what am I supposed to do that's question number one excellent excellent question so I would say to you I guess this is a young man I would say to you as follows I'm very happy that it's going well enjoy enjoy it be open to it and I would say and I think this is advice for all of us I know it's hard but I think when we go out we have to see it as an opportunity just to try to enjoy the other person person we don't know how it's going to work out we don't know but see it as an opportunity to find out about the life of another person and see that as an objective in and of itself if I may so I know we're not dating just to date people from the opposite gender we don't do that you're dating for one objective I understand that but in order to get to that objective I think if we can go in to the car or however we're dating walk whatever it is with a mindset you know every person is a that means every person has something inspiring about them and this truth is it's true about every human being if every human being was carved in the image of Hashem it means that every person is an imprint of the Divine creator that means there is something inspiring unique powerful fascinating interesting curious and holy but every person in a unique way yes that person in the elevator that person while I'm jogging while you're jogging you might meet him in the park or her in the park that person who you're getting a lift with that person has something absolutely unique Divine and fascinating about them that no person before or after ever had and if I don't see it in that person it's not about there it's about me I'm maybe in a bad mood I'm exhausted I'm tired I'm overwhelmed I'm depleted I got no patience I'm simply not open to this and I think going on a date means it's courageous I'm opening myself up to the beauty of another person to the charm to the depth to the soul to the creativity to the humor to the love to the kindness to the values to the spirituality to the priorities to the N to the heart to the brain and to the consciousness of another human being I would say it's a privilege it may go for an hour two hours 3 hours four hours it may develop into an incredible friendship and you know what it may even develop into the ultimate the ultimate relationship Mak you may hit the jackpot and he or she may be the right person galic but even until that point can I really open myself up to a powerful special moment moments of time with this human being we can share I can listen I can hear that's I think maybe an approach that if we can work on it even if we did it many times but see the journey itself as meaning and I would say this it's a very famous from I'm not going to elaborate now but the point is every person we date on our journey it's not a mistake didn't make mistakes every person we meet is part of the necessary process to get to the right person which means every person is the right person everybody why why give me a break I dated 29 people they're not my point is yes I know it's hard I know I'm not saying this in a dismissive way like Get over yourself I'm not being callous at all but I am saying this every journey in life is part of our destination for me to be able to marry the person I'm supposed to marry I needed to meet the other people maybe each one of those people taught me something about myself maybe each one of those people taught me something about life maybe each one of those people made me and helped me confront I have to confront so it's not a mistake and therefore I want to embrace the journey with enthusiasm with gusto if I'm flying to or I'm flying to another country I don't have the luxury of going on a private plane and even then it takes work I have to go to the airport you know what it's like I have to pack and got to go the T taxi to the airport and then there's security lines and then there's another security line and then there's the line at the getting to the gate and the line at the gate and then there's the flight itself and then there's going through C Cs and another taxi so do I say to myself until I don't arrive at my hotel or my home in this country where I want to go I will be a miserable person no I want to make the best out of the journey because I can only get there if I'm ready to travel T I don't have the wings of an Angel yet the same is true in life our journey is part of our and therefore let the journey itself become meaningful question number two the guy is great good I'm happy but I'm just not attracted to him how can I possibly entertain marrying somebody I'm not physically attracted to him okay it's a great great question it's important that when we get engaged to somebody we want to be able to know that we can be attracted to them this is important it's a very very subtle question if you're feeling mamish disgust repulsion you have to be very very careful if you're not feeling any attraction whatsoever I think it's important to continue the date it's important to see if there are any blockages and fears inside of you it's important to see if something is really bothering you because usually in most cases if you really love the personality if I really really like a person I'm happy to spend time with them so then we can be together in all ways required from a husband and a wife so I really have to ask myself I maybe have to get closer maybe it's important for you to open up to each other a little more you know very often when people become vulnerable with each other and they open up about their deeper Parts there's a sense of of uh warmth and a deeper connection that can develop so maybe that's important so yes I think it's important not to get engaged just intellectually it makes sense you want to be excited you want to be attracted it doesn't mean you have to be going with sugar and ecstatic you know we don't have a thermometer how to measure these things but it means you're excited you're inspired there's enthusiasm and there's a sense of Attraction really you want to be with this person for the next 70 80 90 120 180 years of your life you want to be with them forever and if that's not happening maybe you have to spend more time maybe you have to examine if there's blockages maybe there are fears maybe it's time to get a little more vulnerable with each other but when you get married you do not want to do it as a robot because it makes sense on paper there there has to be as the called it I heard this from my brother and he heard it from Rabbi Lael Groner grer told him I think he told it to him with someone else there I think Dr tushin Who wrote that famous biography I think so Rabbi grona said that in 1954 he was dating he was dating and he had the question should he get engaged should he not get engaged and he was already working for the rebba five years five years since 1949 toest so Lael asked the Reb his boss and his Reb should he do it should he complete the sh should he propose the Reb responded as follows the rebba said you're asking a question that your mother can't answer it for you your father can't answer it for you and I cannot answer it for you the only one who can answer it for and and your brain also can't answer it for you the only one who can answer it for you is th Hearts your heart your heart has to give the answer reel's heart said yes and he married his wife his rebon grer she should be healthy y for many many happy and prosperous and healthy is with much Nas and blessing so his heart said yes that is a very very powerful piece of advice I can't help you your mother can't your father can't even your brain you need your brain the brain needs to make checklist the brain got to see the pros and the cons But ultimately the heart has to speak the heart has to speak ah the hearts the hearts the LA the la ah okay next question nice questions I have two brothers in shim above me I can start but I want to wait should I wait for my two brothers it's a very hard question to answer usually it depends on your age it depends on the circumstances it depends where your brothers are holding obviously you know if you could wait and things are moving with your brothers beem wonderful but if you're in a situation where it's really difficult for you to wait or they're in a situation where there's no progress so everything is now just in a state of paralysis so very often what's done is you speak to your brothers in a very open way you get permission you ask forgiveness you ask m in other words you want to get their full full permission that you can do it with Bel shalom it's very very important because there is an element of pain here and you want your brothers to know from you that you respect them you love them and very often that itself their permission helps them get the BR that they need so it's a very very individual question you may want to discuss this with some people who are close to the family who love the family whom you trust okay let's go to the next question beautiful questions so many questions wow okay next question okay thank you for all the compliments and the feedback you discussed a lot how we can internally change our mindset what can be said about how our fir Society can change to be less marriage obsessed and exclusionary towards singles we live in a society where if you're not married you'll feel like a second class citizen how do we change our society great great question and I would say that our society like like all of us needs to grow and needs to be improved and needs to be enhanced and I believe today we change things by Grassroots through Grassroots initiatives and Awakenings you know the talmud says every person has to say for me the world is created because every person has something to contribute that nobody else could contribute and I think our Focus has to be not How Will I and we change the whole society and transform it but I think when each and every one of us brings our full light to the world when each and every one of us heals when each and every one of us chooses not to be stuck anymore in judgmentalism in superficiality in stupidity and fear in looking down at others and trying to validate ourselves through shallow superficial myths when I and you and all of us decide and choose and get the help we need to live in a real space of healing and recovery and wholeness and authenticity light dispels Darkness Society is changing may be happening on a slow pace but it's changing the more and more people who are getting the help they need the more and more people who are confronting their deep traumas the more and more people who are sick and tired from being sick and tired when are telling themselves enough of me living a life in which I'm completely unaware in which I'm obsessive in which I'm completely activating my trauma and without any awareness and without any Consciousness the more and more of us who are opening ourselves up to the falsehoods opening ourselves up to the corruption opening ourselves up to the pain that we all endured and that we need to confront and we bring in an energy of truth of Light Of Love of divinity of authenticity trust me our society heals with each and every such person more and more and more and very very soon we will all be living in an atmosphere where people will look at things with a Divine prism we will look at other people not oh you're married oh you're not married what's wrong with you why aren't you like me but rather we'll be able to look at people and embrace the soul and celebrate the soul we'll be able to look at people and dance to the end of love dance with the full uninhibitedness of celebrating the gift in every human soul maybe I'm sounding a little too uh too dreamy like maybe my name is ysf and ysf was accused of being a balus but that's what I really believe let's not focus on how we change society because we're perfect let's focus on finding our deepest truth and healing and radi radiating it to all around us naturally and by osmosis organically a lot of healing will happen on many levels would you post a list of questions you would ask when dating well I posted a few questions that I think are important but I think Al you have to make your own individual List dating is an opportunity to learn something about yourself every person is a of to reflect something about you that Hashem wants you to see after a date ask yourself what did I learn today about myself very beautiful how would you respond to someone who who is part of the lbgt community but he's religious I'm sure that there are other people likeminded who still are very much vying for the right match but when this occasionally comes up we might find the other person very close-minded on the subject how is this kind of thing supposed to be approached it's very important to me because it is who I am essentially I wouldn't bring up the conversation as a need as an unhealthy need but I would want to share it with the girl I eventually marry for her to know who I am at my core I am slightly feminine that's why I can identify with the LGBT community Wow first of all thank you very much thank you very much for your honesty thank you very much for your candidness that's intense okay so I'm very very GR gratified to learn that you're not in the camp that loves to preach about the fact that uh people are created a certain way and there's absolutely no opportunity to grow to develop to change which I think in this particular case politics has completely eclipsed the science and uh very little very little research has been done in order to be able to determine what exactly are the impacts of trauma of nature of nurture there's still a lot a lot of work in this particular field I'm glad to see that you're open to the fact that you don't just put yourself in a box this is who I am this is my core and that's it saying that it's extremely important that we don't deceive anybody and that's why obviously you want to get married only if you feel that you'll be able to have relations with the woman you marry because if not it's going to be simply unfair to her and unfair to you and it's a real form of deception so it's very important to be able to know that you have reached a point in your growth and development that you're capable of having that type of relationship in terms of sharing the struggle with the woman you're dating because this is so much a part of your struggle so yes you're going to need to find a girl who's extremely open and who's extremely um sensitive and ready to handle this you don't want to make another person miserable because you're going to be miserable and it's also not the right or moral thing to do so it's a very very delicate situation but you have to understand something I know a person who struggled with your struggle and he opened up to the young woman and she opened up to him and you know what she told him right yes only God's humor she struggled with some forms of lesbianism not in a practical way she was very careful and he was also very careful but suddenly they discovered that there was something very deep that connected them and it allowed them to have a very very honest relationship now that don't rely on that that may not happen but my point is you need to be able to find the person who's extremely sensitive and extremely open to that type of struggle and it may be very difficult for her she may say I'm not ready to deal with this you also have to realize this I would assume I don't know you that this struggle is probably challenging you in a very very deep way and probably is forcing you to become a much deeper much more sensitive and much more real and authentic person so this may even be something that a young woman will cherish in you but again you have to find the person and you can't talk about it the first date but at some point you'll want to test the waters and uh see how far you can go but it's very important that we live a life with transparency and honesty and one last thing which is maybe needless to say if you want to get married it has to be with an unwavering commitment that you are committed exclusively to this person in other words if you feel that your struggle is so deep and you may fall prey to the homosexual Instinct in real life and go pursue it that would be very very unfair to do so it's very very important that you make that decision that you are ready to commit to a life with a young woman forever and I can tell you that will bring you much more happiness and Bliss in the long run because that relationship will satisfy you on all levels and in the deepest places of your soul powerful question I would much prefer prefer having a sh who to tell me me which girls I can date who will understand this and will accept this homosexual aspect okay I don't know if those are available on that level but perhaps I would have to do research on that next question I go out on a date I'll have very good reasons to feel that this person is not for me I come home my parents will push me to go out again in a date how would you go about this it's so hard for me I feel it's not good and my parents want me to go again I don't know your relationship with your parents if you have a very good relationship with your parents and you could be open with them you could say tati Mommy why you pushing me I'm really feeling resistance now they might say we get it and we respect it but maybe there's something you're not noticing maybe there's a weakness inside of you that you have to confront maybe there's a weakness inside of us that we have to confront in other words if the relationship is very honest that then this can be a great opportunity for profound conversation and profound growth because maybe your parents point is that maybe you have blind spots maybe there's things you want to work on maybe there's traumas you want to confront and maybe you shouldn't just be saying no but if your relationship with your parents is much more superficial and they're just pressuring you because they want you out of the house and you're really not honest with them then there's something you need then you need other people that you trust that you could talk about this with but the fact that you're always saying you have good reasons to say no may be enough but maybe not so that's why it's always always good to have someone we trust or people we trust a mentor a confidant a rabbi a mashia a good therapist a professional someone in our family who's experienced who really gets it that you know we can share our experiences we can get feedback and if you know that you may have blockages and who doesn't have blockages but the more you become aware of them the more you can be curious and ask yourself is there a pattern here in other words is my know really coming from a very subconscious place where I'm not ready to to say yes to anybody I will always find a reason to say no and then your parents may have a very good idea so there's different variables that you want to address here but the clear point is that on one hand you shouldn't feel the need to be a people's pleaser and just continue to date because you're giving into other people's pressure you have to have confidence you have to trust yourself you have to believe in yourself you have to respect yourself if you feel this is really not for you why are you going to waste the time of a girl or a boy next time and then next time and next time just to please your mother or your grand mother and it doesn't make sense to me right so that's very important but on the other hand if you're feeling that authentically there may be some perspective in what they're saying then you should ask yourself tough questions because maybe this is an opportunity for you to go to a deeper place if we're supposed to live our lives with the Mind ruling our heart does our heart wanting to get married to someone mean that our mind LED our heart to that feeling if the Reb told Rabbi Groner that even our brain shouldn't decide if he is the one or she is the one what does that mean does that mean I let my heart go wild and chaotic and my heart decides everything on its own great questional question very very good question I like that I like that question galic okay does it mean the mind represses the heart it means the mind is like a good parent what's the job of a parent says in per that the mind are like mothers right are like mothers and M are like children what's the role of a parent the role of a parent is that if a child is crying or laughing or giggling or running around or playing no no no no no no no stop making noise this C has to be quiet it's not what a parent does a parent on the contrary you want to help your children Express themselves and have fun and be creative and if they need to cry they can cry they need to laugh they need to laugh the sound of children giggling and laughing and running around and being themselves is the most Blissful from the most Blissful sounds in life the job of a parent is on the contrary to help direct the child to nurture the child to make the child feel safe to protect the child to nav help the child navig at their paths in life what does that mean practically in our own lives the job of the brain is not to shush the heart the job of the brain is to direct shalot is not a dictator shalot is a guide like a parent like a mentor like a teacher for a student I don't want to shut shut down my student I want to polish my student that he or she should shine so practically what that means is the heart can get very very impulsive the heart can get very very scared the heart can get very very overwhelmed the heart can get very very anxious and here you have the brain that can come in and can be there for the heart to hug it and embrace it and calm it down and talk to it and see what's going on and sometimes tell the heart you know stay here Mommy will come back in a few minutes don't worry and sometimes you have to tell the heart come with me come let me give you a little ice cream and sometimes you have to tell the heart it's fine it's fine it's fine and sometimes you have to listen to the heart who's actually telling you the truth oh my god wow this is true your child is a wear of a danger your child is smelling smoke your child is smelling smoke call the fire department that's why we need a responsible parent who's not afraid of the heart and I believe that's how I understand it was telling a growner is the brain can't decide these things means I can't have a relationship only for my brain because it makes sense that this young woman is for me great but that's not a marriage your heart needs to get excited there's a feeling there's love there's intensity there's passion theous of course we use our brains of course we use our brains I can get impulsive I can be an addict I can do mug my heart can have all types of Cravings that are very very unhealthy so you need your brain to be able to see what type of emotion it is where it's coming from is it coming from Brokenness is it coming from wholeness is it coming from fear is it coming from creativity is it coming from my core self is it coming from my external self that's where the brain comes in but the job of the brain is not to live life for the heart job of the brain is to help the heart beat to the its profoundest and most exciting beat got it next question when can you say to a person that's been married before and divorced and hardly gets calls for suggestions what are you going to tell them they keep on daving and hoping but they feel extremely discouraged you're dealing with a great person has many qualities but they feel that for some reason there is a there a decree on them what would you say to encourage them this person has been married before they're not getting any calls for sh suggestions Wow first of all I would say that I'm sorry I'm sorry it's hard and it's painful and I'm very sorry number one number two I would say I would not Define something as a x if we don't know that it's a x I would not say that I don't think we have that capability or authority to be able to say there's a decree on me or on this person what I would suggest is that despite the fact that there are no calls at the moment do not internalize a sense of rejection do not look in the mirror and say God hates me my life is over there's a decree on me for me to be miserable for me to never be married how do we know how do you know rather I would try to do something else feel the pain and if you have to cry cry and if you need to speak to the right people speak to the right people it's important for you to have an emotional support system to vent to express yourself but don't try to come up with conclusions and Define the reality and story of your life in intellectual terms and let me let me let me clarify what I mean because I feel many of us make this mistake we have been trained to use our brains a little too much we try to understand our life we try to come to conclusions based on intellectual calculations it's absurd it's ridiculous you can't live life with your brain as much as you cannot eat a piece of cake with with your brain you want to eat you need to use your mouth and you cannot watch A Beautiful film or look at a beautiful piece of art with your ears and you can't listen to music with your eyes life you can't experience with your brain life we have to experience with our soul with our heart with our emotions our brains are there to understand those things that we need to understand and to help bring awareness to those things that we need to bring awareness to but to understand the full picture why things are happening how things are happening what does this mean what's the future I don't understand I don't have to understand when we use our brain to understand the story The Narrative of Our Lives we do one of two things either we force the story into intellectual constructs that is an absurd attempt because it's beyond our mind or we simply become so frustrated and and and and almost could be M because it's not fitting in so either we force it in or we get frustrated and overwhelmed what if we don't have to what if I can open myself up to the fact that there are things in my life that are painful I don't know why I don't have to know why I don't need to understand the Journey of my soul my soul is and I just want to be a channel for the truth to come through me so you can feel the pain you can let your mind go let it go unburden it of its egotistical need to wrap its brain around reality let the mind be free Let It Be untied Let It Be Unbound let the Mind experience the Bliss of intimacy with your creator you'll be surprised how powerful that is that's how I would approach it and you know what happens you open yourself up to new opportunities that you never imagined because you couldn't imagine them in your brain but your soul can imagine them because the soul is rooted in auna which is infinite is it possible to mess up a by saying the wrong thing to somebody I feel like I messed up a very good option by being too open too quickly these things nobody knows can we mess up things ultimately people are always always doing a Shamu for the wrong thing one person is being remorseful forever because I said too much the other one is being remorseful because I said too little if things would have worked out a different way we also may have been remorseful I'll tell you with these things it's very very hard to know how Divine Providence orchestrates life but the bottom line is if something Happ happened this was the Journey of our soul should you learn lessons from it yeah sometimes I say something and then afterwards I tell myself you know what before you say something be so careful sometimes I say things in a class I'm maybe a little too open or I wasn't thinking or I was just a little impulsive and then I tell myself you know before you open your mouth and speak you need to be very cautious and careful it's a good lesson it's a good lesson I don't mean to inhibit yourself and speak in a way that's you know so calculated that you're not real but I mean just be considerate with of who's sitting there and what people are sensitive to Etc so we could learn lessons from it but I would not wallow in a PL in a in a in a space of endless remorse that you ruin the I don't know that you have that power with all due respect what would you suggest I do if my mom is pressuring me to tell her everything that happens on a date I don't want to tell my mother everything that's happening on the date you want me to come in between a Jewish boy and his mother come on uh listen I don't know about your relationship with your mother so it's very hard for me to give advice so let's assume that your relationship is not a perfect relationship but it's somewhat honest and good and warm and loving so then you should have an honest conversation with your mother and say listen it's not so easy for me to talk to you and I have other people that I'm more open with and I think a good mother can understand that you know our children need sometimes people to talk to who are not their parents because with parents it's very tough we're entangled with our parents we're in meshed with our parents we either love them or the opposite we either admire them or the opposite we either have so many positive feelings or the opposite or a chalant and sometimes you feel your parents don't get you or your parents don't trust you your parents don't respect you or your parents have too much of their own pain or your parents are not worked out people or your parents impose all their stuff on you I don't know and you maybe you're right maybe you're wrong maybe you're 50% right but the bottom line is it's good to have people outside of your parents with whom to speak and perhaps you can explain this to your mother you know you could tell your mothers I'm happy to share some things but not everything if your mother cannot accept that at all it's like you are not allowed to not share something with her it's a little suspicious to me you know even in a marriage of 30 40 years if a spouse tells a spouse it's not something I'm ready to share we have to respect each other so I don't see that as an reason that because your mother wants you to share everything you have to share everything that's not kib it's it's your life you don't have to share everything about your life and I think it's important for your mother to respect it and for you to have that open conversation with her if there's something else going on which means the relationship with your mother is a very very flawed and difficult and challenging relationship and your mother keeps on triggering you so then obviously you can't share these things with her because yeah your relationship is not good but maybe at some point I would encourage you to work on your relationship with your mother that may be helpful in fact that may even be helpful for your dating with your girl so that's maybe a good idea if your mother is open to it and you're open to it it may be a good thing to work on your relationship and there's lot of help out there today what's a tactful way to ask about a man's Financial Obligations to his kids what's my role in paying for his kids what's my role in paying for the weddings of his children it's joint income I unwillingly became the ATM machine I want to avoid that again in my next marriage what's your opinion about prenups financial and foret Shalom okay great question and I think think the right way of talking about financial obligations is in a very respectful and kind and tyal way with adite and refinement not in a greedy way not in a narcissistic way on both sides but rather in a very respectful way you know what are our plans what are our obligations I cannot give you detailed advice because I'm not a lawyer I'm not an arbitrator and I'm not a pisc so therefore I do not get involved in family arbitration I'm simply not an expert in any of these areas in other words who's responsible for the expenses of the other person's children when there's a second marriage are you responsible for weddings of the other children I uh I'm simply not familiar with the ins and outs of this but I am sure that there are people who are doing this professionally and I would perhaps get their advice maybe they are even websites or books about this that were written and really get advice and if you're dating a mench to be able to work it out in a mench in a very very men way and I think that's really the key as again I'm going to say say this I have watched two couples who got divorced both had children one couple got divorced because of a terrible terrible story a devastating story it was the husband's fault you know no question about it the husband knows it he was an addict he did some immoral things his marriage was destroyed he went into recovery but I watched one thing the husband and the wife the first husband the first wife mention they were mentioned they were civil they knew that they don't want to destroy three kids just because they had a Fallout and just because there were not good things happen and throughout the entire divorce despite many many disagreements I could just see that they had their brains intact their heads were screwed on straight they realized you don't turn your children into missiles against your ex just because you may have issues with your ex for sure and you may loathe your ex and you may detest your ex and you may hate your ex and you may wish your ex dropped that 100,000 times because of what he did or because of what she did your right or wrong is a separate issue but you're going to take three children and turn them into missiles for these children she's their mother for these children he's their father do you really think it's going to be the psychological and emotional benefit of the children that your ex becomes the enemy of their your children as well so they don't have a mother anymore they don't have a father anymore I'm not talking about a case where father and mother are outrightly physically or emotionally abusive where they beat their kids or they molested their kids and have to be protected but I'm talking about a case where there are a lot of Personality issues and there are a lot of struggles and you really don't like your ex but you don't think that your ex is a dangerous man who's who's uh who's physically or sexually abusing your children or emotionally abusing them you just don't like your ex I watched this couple and I was in awe because I knew how many challenges they had with each other but they always made sure to communicate in a way that would benefit their children there was a story not long crazy story boy got about mitz and his father made a big Mitzvah because he came from a his parents are divorced and this was the opportunity of the father to you know splurge on his son and show him some love perhaps and he invited the whole town to MIT well you know what happened the mother decided to take revenge from her ex and she didn't let her son show up to the B mitv I was invited to go to the Mitzvah they called me said the guy the father is there and the boy never showed up now I ask you a question I don't know the details I don't know the father I don't know the mother but imagine she did not allow her son to go to his b Mitzvah to take revenge from her ex and it happens both ways so it's very very important mention and this brings us to the issue of prenups I'm not a authority to be able to give an decisive opinion about the alic validity of prenups I know that in different communities there's different approaches but one thing is certain there are so many people suffering because a husband or a wife are refusing to give or take a get and sometimes the abuse and that area is horrendous horrendous I have in my own Community two people a woman whose husband refused to give her a get for 15 years and another man who's refusing to give his wife a get for many many years and I thought I'll be able to convince and persuade I thought with My Gift of Gab perhaps with God's grace I'll be able to persuade this man to give his wife a get to no avail the level of stubbornness and Trauma that he lives with is so so profound that he would rather destroy his own future none of his children children talk to him none of his eight children talk to him isn't that a good sign that it's time to give what he won't give his wife forg and he says that he's doing God's will you understand it's so important that whatever happens in a marriage or God forbid after a marriage men humanness sensitivity men be a men don't abuse don't persecute don't use children against your spouse don't slep people through the ringer and torture them just because there is a physical Vendetta and this pain so so important in terms of prenups I would say and I can't speak as Authority I'm not but generally because of the amount of problems anything that can be done before a marriage to avoid these potential pits should be done because unfortunately many people are suffering many people are suffering and and our community did not respond the way we should have when there's an auna the whole Community should be there for her and the other way as well I don't mean to say that only women are guilty and all men are and all women are sometimes it's the other way as well there are women who could be very very sick and very very traumatized and behave in very very not good ways and the men are suffering I'm not naive I don't think just because you're a woman you're aad a a man you're Wicked that's not true there are some men who are sad and there are some women who are big bigas and they're suffering a lot but the community needs to be very very attentive a guy who's refusing to give his wife a get or a woman is refusing to take a get from her husband and you could see that good normal moral rabbis are all encouraging the get but it's not happening we shouldn't support such a person such a person should be hunted down on every in every possible way they should not be getting respect from the community and people smiling to them on chabas because you want to be good with every body at whose expense at a woman who's suffering as an auna for 15 years for 20 years for 10 years so that you could smile to this person on shabas when this person is behaving in a Despicable way torturing a Jewish woman or torturing a man I love the part of the lecture when you spoke about that we have to appreciate the journey and the mysteries of our unique Souls Journey even while we're dating and even before we're married but I have a question how should I deal with the fear with the anxiety I may never find my sh I'll have to date for Endless years how should I deal with the loneliness I am single very powerful question it's very late so I'm going to now give very short answers to this it's a very very powerful question and all I could say to you is don't try to wrap your brain around your future and figure out your future and don't allow fear to overwhelm the story of your life be open to the mystery but do every morning anchor yourself in in a space of infinite Love and Truth spend time with your spend time with your make it your best friend it has so much confidence and so much Clarity and even though you're single you have infinite value and you can create very powerful and deep relationships as a single person first of all with yourself second of all with God and then automatically with other people don't try to figure out the rest of the story and there's no need to allow fear to dick Our Lives yeah we all have fear but fear is a thought you are not the fear how do I know because you can observe the fear inside of you so watch the fear and say wow I'm so sorry that this is what you're feeling and I'm here for you but I am not my fear don't make decisions from a place of fear and anxiety you are not the anxiety the anxiety is inside of you what message can you give to people who are 30 and up and never got married they're not getting any suggestions they're not young anymore is there any state or obligation for a to find a for older people or no ignore them and let people focus on those in their 20s every one of us has a including so whenever we can be of help to anybody we should be of help and this is a very important moment to reach out to everybody and say keep your eyes open you never know who you see who you meet at a shabas table in a supermarket in a sh at a friend's house at an event at a class be open because maybe something will come up and you can be a tremendous ambassador of kindness and love and help somebody find a that's number one number two as I said earlier every person deserves to have a support system I know it's not comfortable but whatever age you are find people that you trust maybe uncles maybe aunts maybe brothers sisters nephews nieces siblings friends friends classmates and say you know what this is my situation I need a support system I need 20 30 people who have my back and are looking for me and you you it's it's a great way that maybe things can happen with hashem's help so it's vulnerable to do like you know you feel needy but you're not you're not needy you're a person who wants to get married and yes you're searching for people who can be of support to you and be here for you and I think it's very important for not to abandon this demographic sh and what I say to you is number one I'm sorry I'm sorry it's very very hard I have no magic potions or magic medicines to assuage your pain and anxiety but again I'm going to say that the last thing you want to do is give up on yourself the last thing you want to do is reach intellectual conclusions about your worthiness or lack of worthiness dignity or lack of dignity there's a mystery in the journeys of life and you want to open yourself up to that mystery without the need to understand and comprehend and control and every day anchor yourself in a space of infinite Oneness and love anchor yourself in a space where you are Divine sacred unsoiled untarnish and operate from that space can you speak about the pain of navigating can you speak about navigating the pain of a younger sibling getting engaged first how can I be sensitive to them but how can I be sensitive to myself so many hard emotions come up great great question great great question very very important you need to have somebody that you speak to very openly about all the pain again someone you trust a confidant a therapist a trauma therapist a rabbi a rabbitson somebody who experience with life somebody with whom you can be very open about how difficult it is how painful it is when you can create space for the pain of this disappointment you'll also be able to Rejoice with your sibling genuinely in other words it's not either or it's not like oh I'm having so much pain I'm probably not happy for my sibling which means I'm a faker which means I'm coming to the wedding but I'm really hating every moment of it it's not either or you're a human being you have emotions you wanted to get married first you're not you need a grieve for the disappointment and you need somebody to grieve with you you need somebody to help you process your emotions and it doesn't take away from the fact that you're also a good sibling and you want your brother and sister to be happy and both are true you have pain and you have to honor that pain and you have joy you have to honor that joy and it doesn't mean that you're a bad person and you're not a sadic and you're a russer because you're feeling pain while your brother and sister having a beautiful or a beautiful wedding and a beautiful you're not a bad person you're a human being and you have to grieve because your life took on a different Journey you didn't expect this 5 10 years ago give yourself that dignity give yourself that respect and it doesn't take away from the fact that another part of you is celebrating your sibling success and you are genuinely at the wedding happy you're not miserable at the wedding you don't want your brother and sister to have a miserable life you want them to have a very happy life but you're in pain and don't confuse the two and don't call yourself disingenuine is it appropriate to push a potential partner to take on more religiously more religious observance even when they aren't ready to take on more I would be very careful with that because because you don't want them to resent you for that and every they feel the responsibility and the obligation and the pressure they feel you're guilty these things have to come from a very internal space should you tell someone about a health condition on the first date or wait I don't know of the first date I heard from Ravid Cen he's a very very big in the in the from World especially the Lish world is and I heard him speak at a neish conference and he spoke about the third or fourth date the third or fourth date where there is enough trust and enough of a relationship that they won't say no right away because they they know enough about you to say you know what I'm ready to deal with this but yet it's not so far down the dating process they know that they're completely consumed by you and this is just going to cause unnecessary heartbreak and that was his piece of advice Mayhem give each and every one of you to find what you're searching for and may you all be able to share with all us may you find the inner Serenity Tranquility confidence joy to be able to live life to the fullest to maximize your potential to realize how infinitely precious your souls are to be able to navigate every day of life with your enthusiasm with your full presence with your full Beauty with your full spiritual and physical Splendor and may Hashem guide you in the right way to be able to make the right decisions and to be able to may may he fulfill all of your heart's desires including the desire of many of you to build beautiful homes may we a complete Victory and a complete Redemption thank you thank you very much Rabbi Jacobson for your very inspiring uplifting words and thank you everyone for joining we should celebrate we should hear many many Ms and everyone who is still on their journey in searching should have an easy Journey andem we should hear many mls the car Mish thank you everyone for joining this class is brought to you by the Yeshiva net please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at w.the yeshiva.net SL donate