How to Truly Know God: This Changes Everything About Faith - Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

A number of years ago, I was speaking to a young man and who were friendly for many years and I hadn't spoken to him in a little while and I said to him, "How are things going?" He said to me, "Well, religiously terrible, but spiritually great." I was a bit curious what that meant, religiously terrible but spiritually great. So, I asked him, "What do you mean?" He said, "Well, religiously, you know, in terms of mitzvahs, putting on tefillin, davening, not much at all. But spiritually, I've never been closer to Hashem. I see Hashem every day, right there." Now, I found this a bit odd because this fellow was involved in one of the AA groups, had become addicted and AA taught him something that he didn't know before and that is that spirituality is a part of Judaism. Not just that, but Hashem is the center focus of everything in our religion. This fellow went to Lakewood Yeshivas, 14 years of Yeshiva and the idea that he could be spiritually attuned and recognize God and that's almost like it's divorced from the religion, you know, religious is putting on tefillin and davening, but seeing Hashem in my daily life, that's that's something different, that's spirituality. Um I found that a bit odd, but what I found over the years is that he's not alone. And many, many people almost can be involved in learning 12 hours a day, doing all kinds of mitzvahs, but Hashem somehow doesn't equate into the picture. And that is a bit curious because the Ramban in Chumash defines the purpose of all mitzvahs, the focal point of all mitzvahs is to know Hashem. The reason we're given the mitzvahs, the focal point of them all is to allow us to recognize Hashem's presence, to recognize that Hashem is the creator, to see Hashem here. And while one may not be attuned to it all the time, we may space in and space out. If you don't clearly understand that Hashem is center focus of our religion, you're not missing a little bit, you're missing everything. And what we're going to start this series with is understanding Hashem on a little bit better level. The name of the series is an owner's guide to the soul, but before we understand the soul, we have to understand Hashem, why Hashem created us, what life is about and then we'll get involved a little bit more involved in terms of how we act towards Hashem, react to Hashem, how our soul actually functions. So, let's begin with something the Derech Hashem explains to us. Derech Hashem explains that there are three ways to know Hashem. And knowing Hashem doesn't mean theoretically, uh God exists. Knowing Hashem means via da'at, knowing. Va'ashivosa el levavecha, to bring it close to your heart, to know it, to recognize, to see Hashem present. Explains Derech Hashem, there are three ways to come to that. One is the mesorah. There were 3 million Jews gathered at the foot of Har Sinai. 3 million people were there and they heard the words Anochi Hashem Elokecha, they saw the shamayim va'aretz open up, and they saw through everything, they all reached the level of nevuah. And those 3 million people told their children, who told their children, who told their children generation after generation and we are the recipients of a very powerful mesorah. The mesorah that each of us carries is that God spoke to the Jewish nation at Har Sinai and said, "I am your God, the creator of the heavens and the earth. I took you out of Mitzrayim, I created the world, I maintain the world." And by focusing on the mesorah, by thinking about it, by dwelling, [clears throat] by learning, that's certainly a way to better know Hashem and that's certainly a very reliable way to know Hashem. The second method to come to know Hashem, and again, not in the theoretical sense, but to actually feel Hashem's presence like it could be, to have yediyah, knowledge, is binah. Binah means discernment, thinking, dwelling, contemplating, looking at the complexity of the world, look at the vastness of the universe, study an atom, study a cell. Study one cell in the human body and you know that it's more complex than New York City and you study the intricate machinery and you see an eye glimpse to the wisdom of our creator. And when you begin studying the wonders of the world, the beauty, the tremendous pleasures that Hashem created, from colors, sights, sounds, when you see butterflies, when you see flowers, when you see a sunrise, a sunset and you see the magnificent world that God created, when you get an eye glimpse into this world, you get a glimpse to your creator. If this is the creation, what does it tell me about my creator? And binah, the process of introspection, thinking, understanding, is the second method to come to know Hashem. The third method is something that's called intuition. Yediyah, knowledge. Before I began this thing called life, I, I the one who's thinking, I the one who's speaking to you, was under Hashem's throne of glory and Hashem took me and put me into this body. But because I had a beginning, there are many things that I intuitively, instinctively know. When I stand by the edge of a mountain, I may never have fallen down a mountain cliff before, but I know that this will end very, very badly. When I see the beauty of an ocean, I'm moved. When I see the stars at night, I just feel something. There's yediyah, there's knowledge, there's intuition, there's understanding within the human heart that doesn't need schooling. It doesn't need education. Intuitively, instinctively, I know it. Now, the problem is there are many reasons why I don't want to fully accept it because if Hashem is [clears throat] here and Hashem has certain requirements of me, that means there are things I'm going to do, things I'm not going to do, things I'm going to be required to do. And there are many reasons why it may be difficult for me to tune into my inner intuition, but that is the third way for a person to come to yediyah Hashem. And the more in the mesorah, just thinking about the fact and reviewing the fact 3 million Jews gave over a mesorah one generation to the other, that Hashem said Anochi Hashem Elokecha, binah, delving into the depths of the world, seeing the complexity and seeing my creator, and the third is just knowing. Just being honest with myself, closing my eyes and talking to my creator and coming to an understanding that deep down inside I have. You know, it's often time only when we're rolling down that cliff, when we're driving [clears throat] on that road, when we jumped the embankment and suddenly I'm rolling down a cliff, "Hashem, help!" There's a very clear yediyah, a very clear knowledge that Hashem is present. During the rest of my life, I might have been very, very static-y and I might not have tuned into it, but when I'm in big trouble, when the [clears throat] pedal hits the metal, when I'm in real deep, dire straits, I call out to my creator. Intuitively, instinctively, I know that Hashem is there. But all three of these are systems that a person has to work on because the knowledge of Hashem is the essence of our religion and it's a constant growth process. It's not like I know Hashem. V'yadta hayom, it's a pasuk in Chumash. Hashem says, "You know today." This is speaking to the dor de'ah. This is the generation who heard Anochi Hashem Elokecha. Nevertheless, Hashem said, "You should know today, va'ashivosa el levavecha, put it into your heart, think about it, dwell about it, dwell on it. Make sure that you clearly, fully understand this." Because you see, the big mistake that we make is we think either I'm a ma'amin or I'm not a ma'amin. Listen, I'm a Jew, I believe, finished, done. Emunah is not an on or off switch. Emunah has many, many, many, many layers. Most likely, we start on a pretty weak level. If you'd like a test of your emunah, one of the best tests that I have and I'd like to give this as a very simple litmus test, the next time you're davening Shemoneh Esrei. The next time you're davening Shemoneh Esrei and you find yourself spacing out. Now, wait a minute, how'd that happen? I was talking to God, the creator of the heavens and the earth, the one who controls every single outcome, the one who's more powerful than powerful, richer than rich, the one who controls my utter, complete destiny. And I space out? Huh? I won't space out if I'm talking to you. If I go to someone for a large donation for the shul, I don't suddenly have a I'm sorry, I'm distracted, I was thinking about something else. How come I could speak to a human being and not get distracted, but I can't talk to God? And the answer is cuz I'm on a 20% emunah level. Meaning, I see Hashem with 20% clarity. I, the neshama, I, the one who thinks, I'm put into this body and this body has very, very heavy cloak of physicality to it. And this body blocks me, this body stopped me from thinking, stopped me from seeing. And because I'm submerged within this body, I see things with a tremendous haze and a tremendous level of confusion and I see things with very, very dark, very, very distant sight. So, when I'm davening [clears throat] Shemoneh Esrei, sometimes if I put the brain on on and I worked on it, especially if it's El, I'll speak to Hashem and I know Hashem's right there and then suddenly I'm gone. Why? Because again, I might be on a 20 level, maybe 21, [clears throat] you work on it a little more, but the point is life is supposed to be a growth process. Throughout this thing called life I'm supposed to be growing and growing and from little 20 to 21% to 22% to 23 to 24. A person after many many years might get to 30%. And if you see a person really talking to Hashem, really connecting, person whose life is very very different, they worked for many many years. Learning of Torah learning is one of the greatest spiritual sources of energy, but the process of the process of doing everything that we're supposed to do as Jews helps me to see Hashem more clearly, helps me to cut through the haze of physicality and brings me from a 20% clarity to 22 to 24 to 25 onwards and upwards, but life is supposed to be a steady progress. And because life is supposed to be a steady progress, we need to understand Hashem as much as we can so that we could recognize Hashem, so that we could cut through the cloak of physicality and so that we could be doveik to Hashem, recognize Hashem in our world. And what I'd like to do in this first session is spend a little time on some basics because when we get some of the basics, I think [clears throat] we'll be able to better relate to Hashem and better understand Hashem's relationship to the world that we live in and Hashem's relationship to us. So let's begin with a chazal. The Gemara tells us K'shechalah Rabi Yochanan ben Zakkai When Rabi Yochanan ben Zakkai was 120 years old, he was the nasi, he was [clears throat] the leading Torah sage in the Jewish nation and to his address came all issues or problems. He was the gadol hador. And at this age of 120 he took ill, he took to his deathbed. Nichnesu talmidav leivakrov. His close talmidim came to visit him. They came to bid farewell to their rebbe. Miad Immediately once he saw that they were coming to bid him farewell, miad his chalishus begins crying. Amru talmidav, his talmidim say to him, "Ner Yisrael, the light of Israel, amud yimini, the right pillar, mim dei ma ata bocha, why are you crying?" Normally when a person prepares to leave this earth, there's a lot he has to think about. Many things he did that he shouldn't have done, many things he did he didn't do. But this is the great Rabi Yochanan ben Zakkai, the perfect tzaddik, the leader of the Jewish nation, the man who spent his entire life serving Hashem as Hashem wanted him to. Mim dei ma ata bocha, why are you crying? And answers Rabi Yochanan ben Zakkai, Ilu lifnei melech basar vadam umlechani, let's assume I was being taken now in front of a flesh and blood king. And this flesh and blood king were to judge me. Shem ko'es alai, this king [clears throat] would be angry with me and ka'aso kas olam, that anger would not be forever. Imosrani, if this flesh and blood king would lock me up, it wouldn't be forever. And if this flesh and blood king were to kill me, it would not be forever either. V'ni achol afaisev b'dvarim, and this flesh and blood mortal king I could appease with words, I could bribe him with money. Nevertheless, wouldn't I cry? And what Rabi Yochanan ben Zakkai was saying with those words is a very interesting observation. If you think about one simple recognition. Imagine that a jury of my peers were judging my life. Imagine that there was a day in my life CNN came down and filmed a day in my life and a jury of my peers, my friends, my chevre, were judging me. How much did I put in effort? Did I say the right thing? Did I say the right thing? Could I have done more? Could I have not have done more? Could I Was I as careful as I should have been? Did I speak lashon hara? Didn't I? Did I say brachas with kavana? Did I daven? Could you imagine if my friends were to judge me on one day with a single criteria of how much did I accomplish? How much did I do? How well did I use my time? Explains Rabi Yochanan ben Zakkai, that is a frightening thought. If I were being judged by a mortal flesh and blood king, just [clears throat] knowing that that this king was to review my entire life, wouldn't I cry? Rabi Yochanan ben Zakkai says that's not where they're taking me. Achshav sh'lichus lifnei melech malchei hamlachim Hakadosh Baruch Hu. I'm not going in front of a man, I'm sitting in front of God, the creator of the heavens and earth. If Hashem gets angry with me, ka'aso kas olam, that anger is for eternity. Imosrani, if Hashem locks me up, the marshal explains it means in Gehennom, and that could also be forever. V'im memisani, if Hashem kills me, the ultimate punishment to resha'im is they're snuffed out. They're no longer in existence, their neshama is extinguished. If Hashem were to do [clears throat] me that to me, that is for eternity, shouldn't I cry? Shouldn't I be filled with fear? And with those words Rabi Yochanan ben Zakkai described the [clears throat] reality that a person should have when he approaches his final days. At a certain point the talmidim realized there's not much time left and they said, "Rabbeinu barcheinu, rebbe, give us a bracha. Give us a final bracha." So Rabi Yochanan ben Zakkai says to them, "Yehi ratzon she tehei morah Shamayim aleichem kemorah basar vadam." My bracha to you is you should fear Hashem as you do man. Amru lem talmidim, said, "Kulanu have as lo, that's all? Fear Hashem as we do man? You just told us how much more person has to fear Hashem, the creator of heavens and earth than a mortal man. Now you're telling us al avai we should fear Hashem as we do man?" Says Rabi Yochanan ben Zakkai, "Teidu, I'll prove it to you. K'she'adam over aveira, before a man sins, he looks left, he looks right, he says shelo yir'ani adam, al avai, al avai it should be that you fear Hashem as you do man." Then Rabi Yochanan ben Zakkai said these words, "Hachinu kisei l'Chizkiyahu Melech Yehudah sheba." Prepare a chair for Chizkiyahu Melech Yehudah, he's going to be malaveh me, he's going to escort me. The marshal explains that Chizkiyahu was the king who brought his entire generation back in teshuvah. And Rabi Yochanan ben Zakkai did the same for his generation. It was only appropriate that Chizkiyahu would be the one to escort Rabi Yochanan ben Zakkai into his final resting place. And with those words he left this earth. And this is the Gemara. And there are many many lessons [clears throat] for us to learn from this Gemara. Certainly one of which is the fact that I, as every mortal under the sun, have a time. There is a time and that time is clicking away, clicking away. Every day is one day gone, another day gone, another hour, another minute, and there's only one question that they're going to ask me when I'm done my job here, how much did I accomplish? How much did I do? And the stakes are so tremendously grave. What I could accomplish is beyond description and the opposite damage [clears throat] that I could do is beyond our understanding and just that recognition that every human being has a keitz. Every human being has a time. I'm on a continuum. I have just so much time and when I'm done my job, my body's put in the ground, I stand in front of Hashem and they ask me how much of me did I become. That single cognition is probably the most galvanizing, the most empowering that a human being will ever come to. Why? Because when I realize there's an end, I realize every moment of life is precious. What I could accomplish, what I can do, and more than that, this current moment will never return to me. What I could accomplish right now will never ever come to me again because this moment once it's gone is gone. If I kill time, I kill a day, kill a week, kill an hour, that time will never be presented to me again. Every moment of life is an opportunity to grow. Every moment of life is an opportunity to change the essence of me. And that moment of life once it's gone is gone, never to be returned. And when you understand that, when you understand [clears throat] that there's an end to this party, that concept is not depressing. That concept is hugely empowering. The single most depressing thing that I could think of is that [clears throat] life has no purpose. We're just here. Whatever, you know, eat, drink, be merry, whatever. That is the single most depressing idea I could ever envision or imagine. Because what that means is who cares? What I do doesn't matter, what I accomplish doesn't [clears throat] matter, whether I do the right thing, the wrong thing, life doesn't matter. But once I understand that there's a limit, once I understand there's a time, I'm going to be in the box, the body's going to be in the ground, and I'm going to separate and stand in front of Hashem, and there's an end, and at that moment every action of my life, every activity, every thought, everything I did is going to be weighed and measured, that is the most empowering concept a human being could ever come to. Because once I get that, my goodness, let's go. This is a minute to grow, to accomplish, to change, to change myself, change the people I'm around. I can change this moment into a glorious piece of eternity. And that understanding is huge. And that understanding brings a person firepower. It's a catalyst for growth and it gives a person the energy to get out of bed and move. And what Rabi Yochanan ben Zakkai was saying to his talmidim was that was [clears throat] something ever present in his mind and certainly at that moment. But that's not what I want to focus on. It's the last conversation between Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai and his talmidim that I'd like to focus on. It almost sounds like there was a vikuach. The talmidim said, "Rebbe, give us a bracha." And Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai says, "You should fear Hashem as you do man." And the talmidim say, "Kulo ha'sulo? That's all? Fear Hashem [clears throat] as we do man?" And says Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai, "Yes, halavai. Halavai you should fear Hashem as you do man. Proof it to you. Because look, before a person sins, he looks left, he looks right. It seems like the talmidim had one perspective. And Rabbi Yochanan [clears throat] ben Zakkai had a different perspective. And it sounds like there was a debate on the deathbed of this great tzaddik. And what I'd like to do is understand both positions and see what we can learn from them. So, let's begin with the talmidim's position. The talmidim said to Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai, "You ask us [clears throat] to fear Hashem as we do a mortal man?" What were they saying? So, to understand the talmidim's position, I don't think it's too difficult. Let's just focus on some common [clears throat] pedestrian concepts that because they're so common and so pedestrian, sometimes lose their impact. We live in a world of technological wonder. We live in a world where so much has been revealed of the physical aspects of the universe and that sometimes the awe the tremendous almost uh inc- >> [clears throat] >> awesomeness of it is just lost to us. Let me give you an an interesting example. Let's talk about distance. From here to the wall over there is about 35 ft. Not that far. Uh from here [clears throat] to California is a lot further. From New York to California is about 3,000 mi. Even if you get in a jet flying 500 mi an hour, it still sta- takes 6 hours because to cross a continent is a huge distance. But, when [clears throat] you talk about the known universe 3,000 mi is not a great distance. From here to the moon is about 250,000 mi. From here to the sun is some 91 million or 93 million mi, depending on the season. But, if you'd like to understand what 91 [clears throat] million mi means, I'll share with you one observation. They say that the core temperature of the sun is [clears throat] 17 million degrees Fahrenheit. And if you were to take a grain of sand, heat it up to that temperature, and bring it back to planet Earth everything within a 60-mi radius would erupt into flames. But, because the sun is so distant, 91 million mi is so far away and that the sun's energy dissipates, hence it's a balmy 75° on planet Earth. But, let's imagine for a minute that it wasn't 91 million mi. Let's imagine it was 45 million mi in distance between the sun and planet Earth. What would life be like on our planet? So, as you probably [clears throat] remember from basic science, rock tends to melt at about 4,000° Fahrenheit. Life on the planet wouldn't be. Because there's so much energy coming out of the sun that if it was only 45 million mi, the Earth [clears throat] would be a molten ball of lava. But, because 91 million mi is so far out and the light gets a chance to dissipate, some 2 billionth of 1% of the energy actually hits the Earth and is translated and converted into energy, hence it's a balmy 75° as opposed to 4,000°. 91 million mi is a vast, vast expanse of space, almost mind-boggling. But, when you talk about the known universe 91 million mi is not a vast distance at all. From our sun to [clears throat] the closest, nearest sun, which is Alpha Centauri, is a distance that's so hard to imagine that you cannot measure it in miles. As a matter of fact, science reverts to a different scale of measure. If you try to use miles to measure stars' distances, the numbers become so large and so cumbersome that they you can't even make sense of them. So, science [clears throat] reverts to the system measure being the time that light tends to travel, the speed of light. As you know, light travels 186,000 mi a second. Now we have a convenient scale of measure. How far will light travel in 1 second? 186,000 mi. Now you take an hour, a week, a month. So, let's use that as a scale of measure. From here to the moon, light traveling [clears throat] how much time does it take? 1 and a quarter seconds. Because 250,000 mi converted at that speed, about 1 and a quarter seconds. From here to the sun, it's about 8 minutes. That means light hurtling at 186,000 [clears throat] mi a second measures a second by the minute, 8 minutes from the sun to the Earth. What is the distance between the sun and the closest star, Alpha Centauri? So, light hurtling at 186,000 mi a second times the hour times 24 hours, it takes 1,500 days for light to travel from the sun to our closest star, Alpha Centauri. 4 years. Because it's such an unimaginable distance between stars in the known universe that it baffles the mind. It takes 1,500 days for light to travel. But, the interesting part is that in our own Milky Way galaxy, there are not two stars. Not even four stars. Not even 20 stars. Astronomers estimate that in the Milky [clears throat] Way galaxy, there are approximately 100 billion stars. Each as powerful as our sun or more powerful. Each spread apart as far as the sun and Alpha Centauri. Spread across 100 billion miles of space, the Milky Way galaxy. But, here's the interesting point. The Milky Way galaxy is not the only galaxy in the known universe. As a matter of fact, scientists revert to a moshel. Now, you know, you have to pay attention. You know, from Chazal, we used to moshelum. A moshel is a parable. We want to talk [clears throat] about spiritual concepts. So, it's very hard for us physical people to understand spirituality. We need a new frame of reference. And because it's outside our normal frame of reference, a parable helps. But, when scientists who measure the physical world revert to parables you have to pay very careful attention. Science gives us a moshel, a parable. If you'd like [clears throat] to measure the Milky Way galaxy compared to the known universe it's the equivalent of measuring a coffee cup against the United States of America. Because in the known universe, there are approximately 100 billion galaxies, each containing 100 billion stars, each spread across this vast known universe of 13 billion light-years of ever-expanding space. Would you like to know what the talmidim was saying to Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai? All you have to do is imagine the moment before ma'aseh bereishit. Hashem said, "Vayehi." And from absolute absence of anything, 100 billion galaxies, each containing 100 billion stars, came into existence, the world we know in. Says the talmidim to Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai, "You ask us to fear God as we do man? Mortal man who puts his head down on a pillow at night and doesn't know if he's going to open his eyes in the morning or not. Mortal man who gets one little coronavirus and he's toast. He's history." "You ask us to fear the creator of the heavens and the Earth as we do man?" So, I think we understand well the talmidim's question. The question now becomes, so what's Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai's answer? Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai didn't say, "Oh, tach, I never thought of it that way." Quite the opposite. Halavai. Halo, it should only be halavai that you fear Hashem as you do man. The question is, what did Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai say to his talmidim? And to understand that, let me take you back to my um high school rebbe days. I was a high school rebbe for about 15 years, and I created a very close kesher with the guys. And the guys would ask me questions as they got older. And often time a guy would be close to get- going out, and he'd ask me for advice. One of the pieces of advice that I'd always give a guy is, if you're [clears throat] going to take a fine Beis Yaakov girl out on a date do not take her out to eat on the first date. Go for a walk, go to the [clears throat] park, whatever, but don't take her out to eat. First of all, your first date might be your last date, and it's very expensive. But, much more than that, she's going to be very, very uncomfortable. You understand? She's going to be there eating in front of you, and she's going to wonder, "How do I slurp the spaghetti? How do I crunch the lettuce with my mouth open or not?" She's going to be so uncomfortable. Don't do it. That was the advice I used to give these guys. And here's a very interesting observation. Let's imagine we have a 21-year-old [clears throat] young woman. Now, she's been eating for quite a number of years now. Since let's say she's about 2 years of age, she's been eating uh three meals a day. Three meals a day times 365 days is about 1,000 meals uh a year. You're talking 18,000 meals she's eaten to this point. Somehow she knows how not to slurp the spaghetti, how not to scrunch the lettuce when she's chewing with her mouth open or closed. So, how did she suddenly become uncomfortable when it comes to eating? And answer is because come on, this guy maybe my beshert, this is a very Someone's right there who's very very important in my world and might be the person I'm going to marry. And that's exactly what Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai was saying. The single cognition that Hashem is present will change your life more than anything else. If you want to study the vastness of this universe, if you want to study the complexity of the world, you'll see the wonders of Hashem's world. But if you want to come to real yirah shamayim, recognizing that Hashem is present right here will have a much greater impact. Yes, it's very important to read physics books. And yes, it's very important to study science, to study chemistry. Because when you see the wonders of Hashem's creation, you see an eye glimpse into the majesty, the greatness of our creator. And Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai said, "Well, that's true. If you want to come to real yirah shamayim on a functional level, just focusing on one single cognition that Hashem is present will change your life to a much greater extent." Interestingly enough, the [clears throat] Mesillat Yesharim explains to us that this is called yirah seromemus. And this is the highest level of yirah shamayim. Knowing that I'm speaking to Hashem, and knowing that Hashem is here, and knowing that as I go through my life, Hashem is present right here. But not up there, 13 billion light-years Hashem, can you hear me up right here. That cognition is the highest level of yirah seromemus and the highest level of yirah shamayim, explains the Mesillat Yesharim, and that is one of the highest levels you can reach. But then he says something very very eye-opening in Perek Yud Tet. He says, "Zuhi tfilah." This is davening. What is davening? And davening is I'm speaking right here. And the Mesillat Yesharim says, "Imagine I'm speaking to my friend. My friend is right here. I'm speaking to me. May respond, may not respond, but he's right here. Zuh hi [clears throat] tfilah, that's davening." Little me having a conversation with the creator of the heavens and earth, but right here. Not up there malachim bringing the tfilahs up to Hashem, but speaking to Hashem right here. And that understanding is life-changing. And that understanding demands that I transcend these bounds of physicality, I transcend this life that limits me, and I recognize Hashem's presence. And if I could tap into that moment, that's one of the most powerful moments that a Jew could ever engage in. Now, I don't [clears throat] like to do this too often, but I have become a bit of an observant Jew, and one of [clears throat] the observations that I have is that I've noticed that people have this muscle twitch. I found it especially in the Ashkenazi community. Uh certainly as a rabbi in a high school, I would see this on a regular basis. Before a guy would eat or drink, he There's this like muscle twitch. It's like a Now, initially I thought it was like some kind of maybe a genetic uh disease or some kind of dis- I don't know I I don't know what it was. But then I saw it was universal. This universal muscle twitch before eating or drinking, there's this muscle twitch. And one day I was really curious, and I put my ear [clears throat] real close, and I heard it wasn't a muscle twitch at all. I put my ear real close, and right before a guy put the cereal into his mouth, I heard what he said. He said, "Shak abaroo." "Shak abaroo." It's exactly what he said. And then he consumed the cereal. Now my friends, I want you to understand what a brachah is. Baruch atah Hashem, blessed be you God, creator of the heavens and earth, Elokeinu, our God, but right here. Melech ha'olam, king of the universe. Shakol that everything nihyeh bidvaro. Nihyeh is not past tense. Nihyeh is not present tense. Nihyeh is not future tense. Nihyeh is all three. That everything that my eyes sees, everything that I experience, everything that I encountered was brought into existence and is held in existence with your words. Could you imagine if once a day, if once a day I cut through the static, acknowledged Hashem's presence, said the words, "You're present, Hashem, right here. Elokeinu, our God, Melech ha'olam, king of the universe. Shakol nihyeh bidvaro, everything in existence was brought into existence and is held in existence with your words alone." Can you imagine the religious experience I would have? My friends, we don't make one brachah a day. We're obligated by Shulchan Aruch to make 100 brachahs a day. 100 [clears throat] times a day, morning, afternoon, and night, we're supposed to stop, cut through the static, cut through the noise, acknowledge Hashem's presence, speak to my creator, and recognize that he's here, and he's the one who created and maintains everything in existence. And that is a very very heady concept, a very religious concept, but it's the basis to everything that we do. Uh certainly the basis of tfilah, certainly the basis of brachahs, and that's a extremely growth-oriented activity. If you stop, recognize what you're doing, and think about it. But I have one more step that I think [clears throat] changes this whole perspective in a very real way. When my daughter Ricky was 6 years old, she went to school and she was learning about Maaseh Bereishit, about creation. And I remember she came back and she said, "Abba, I get it. Before Hashem created the world, there were no [clears throat] colors, no trees, there was no ocean. But Abba, um what what color was it? What what color was it?" Now I want you to think about her question. You see, if you imagine the moment before Hashem said "Vayehi." If you close your eyes and imagine [clears throat] that moment, what do you see? So typically, we see black. But you see, black is a color. Even vacuum implies physicality. But before Hashem said "Vayehi," there was nothing. Absence of any physicality. From complete absence of anything, Hashem said there should be, and suddenly everything came into existence. And if you think about that concept, what you're going to find is a very very eye-opening concept. And that is creation is physically impossible. You see, if I have quarks, I can make atoms. If I have atoms, I can make molecules. If I have molecules, I can make sand. If I have sand, I can make bricks. But before Hashem said "Vayehi," there was absence of physicality. Complete void, nothing. Not even space, not even time. From complete absence of anything, you can't make something. There's no sand to bake into bricks, no molecules to make into sand, no atoms There's nothing there. You can't mush and mold them because there's nothing in existence. And if you think about that moment for a minute, and you recognize that creation [clears throat] is physically impossible, you begin to understand a little bit about what creation is. You see, one of the fallacies that we engage in on a regular basis is >> [clears throat] >> we think, "I'm like Hashem, I'm a creator. I make stuff. I Listen, I'm not quite on Hashem's level. Hashem makes oceans, skies, and planets, but I do stuff also. I'm a I'm a little creator." I'd like to share with you the fundamental distinction between a human creation and God's creation. And that is as follows. Imagine [clears throat] that I build a shack. I take some wood, I take some nails, bang [clears throat] it together, paint it, and I made myself a very nice shack. And I leave it for 20 years. And I come back 20 years later. Now, I [clears throat] would expect it maybe to be a little bit weather-beaten, a little bit disheveled, but I expect the shack to still be there. And the reason for that is is because I created nothing. I took objects that were in existence already, and I shuffled them around. I took the wood, I took the nails, I banged them into here, moved this around here. I took objects that were already in existence and repurposed them, reformed them. But that's not creation. Yesh me'ayin creation, from nothing something creation, is vastly different. When Hashem said "Vayehi," he didn't [clears throat] just create the world, he had to form, fashion, and keep it in existence every moment of its existence. And if you'd like to understand what I mean, I'll give you a very significant, a very simple moshel. Imagine it's a February night, and I'm standing away for the bus, and I'm shivering, it's freezing cold. And it's so cold [clears throat] I close my eyes, and I imagine a beautiful beach scene. Ah, white sand, ocean blue, cloudless sky, one lone seagull gently wafts across the sky. Suddenly, the bus comes, splash. Gone is the sand, gone is the ocean blue, gone is the seagull. I am the dreamer. As long as I think about the seagull, the seagull exists. As long as I envision the sand, the sand exists. But the minute I cease thinking about it, it ceases to be. I am the dreamer, I'm the one who keeps the dream in existence. That is Hashem's relationship to anything in existence. When Hashem [clears throat] created the world, Hashem took from absolute nothing and made it, and thereby and therefore has to sustain it every moment of its existence. Much like I to the seagull, Hashem is to everything in creation. Hashem is not just the creator, Hashem is the creator and mishava, the one who keeps everything in existence. Because a yesh me ein creation isn't just like taking wood and moving it around. It's from nothing creating, keeping, maintaining, and because it needs constant maintenance. And Hashem is constantly maintaining every particle of physicality, every part of existence. Hashem is constantly infusing energy. And if for a short moment, for a split second, Hashem would cease infusing energy into any part of creation, it would cease to be. Much like I to the seagull, if I stop think think about the seagull, it's gone. Any [clears throat] part of creation ceases to be. And when you understand that, you understand one of the names of Hashem. Not a shame of furash, but [clears throat] one of the kinuyim of Hashem is makom, place. Hashem is called makom, why? Because Hashem is the place of everything in existence. If anything is in existence, then Hashem perforce is there, because Hashem [clears throat] is keeping that place in existence. And if Hashem wasn't there, it would not be. So, any place that is, Hashem is there, because Hashem is the creator and maintainer of everything in existence. Any part of this 13 billion light years of expanse, Hashem is there. Pluto, Venus, this constellation, that constellation, China, Japan, Hashem is here, because if you see anything, perforce Hashem is there keeping it in existence. And if Hashem was not there keeping existence, it would cease [clears throat] to be. What that means is, if you'd like to find Hashem, Hashem, where are you? I can't find you anywhere in this world. All you have to do is find anything, and you'll see Hashem. Find a rock, and find a boulder, and find water, find a tree. But even something inorganic. Find me anything in existence, and you're seeing your creator. Because your creator created it and maintains it, much like I to the seagull. And when you dwell on that concept, and when you think about it, you start walking around with a vastly different perspective. If I see anything, I see Hashem. If I see anything that exists, the sidewalk, the trees, the ocean, the rivers, whatever it is, and I'm seeing Hashem who created and maintains it. And that's the kavana I'm supposed to have when I say sha kol ni b'dvaro. Hashem, you brought everything into existence and maintain everything in existence with your words constantly, all the time, every moment. But you have to stop. You have to think about this, you have to dwell [clears throat] on it, and you have to let it sink in. And when you do that, you experience Hashem. You train your mind, you train your [clears throat] eyes to see things very differently, and you understand things in a vastly different manner. I think this chazal is eye-opening. Because what the talmidim was saying to Rebbi Yochanan ben Zakkai, you know, ask [clears throat] us to fear Hashem as we do men. Look at this world that Hashem created. Look at the vastness. Look at a hundred billion galaxies. Look at anything in this world and you see harmonious systems. It's incredible. And what Rebbi Yochanan ben Zakkai said, yes, that may be true. That's a wonderful way to see an element of Hashem's world, and to see an aspect of Hashem's wisdom, and an aspect of Hashem's capacity. But if you want to really grow in yirah shamayim, if you want to grow in real understanding, this single cognition that Hashem is present. Hashem is here. If you're here, then Hashem is here. If anything's here, then Hashem is here. And that is davening, and that's brachas, and that's our daily existence. And it's important to be a religious Jew. Every once in a while, I'm a religious Jew. When I'm late, and which is often, [clears throat] and I can't find my keys. Hashem, please help, I'm late, please. And I reach out to my creator. That is a highly religious activity, because I cut through the static. I get it. I recognize Hashem's present. Hashem runs the world. Hashem maintains the world. And I'm asking my creator for help. And that activity is transforming. Because I begin to understand Hashem is the creator. Hashem is the maintainer. I don't want to get heavy here, but because it is Elul, I'll mention one observation within this concept that's a little bit frightening. As we get closer and closer to Yom Kippur, >> [clears throat] >> you know, every year I find myself, as many people do, saying, "Okay, time to get serious. I'm going to make a list of what I did wrong. Let me figure out what I did wrong." And it always astonishes me that it should be so obvious. I should have pages and pages and books and books filled with what what I could have done and didn't, what I should have done and didn't, and what I did and shouldn't have done. But yet, somehow it's lost from me. So, I have one simple observation I think that can greatly change your Yom Kippur, certainly greatly change your Elul. Okay. Let's imagine that one time [clears throat] this year. One time this year I did something I wasn't supposed to. I spoke lashon hara. Okay, listen. I'm not saying it's a big mitzvah. I know there are loshon horah involved, and I know it's pretty bad, but all right, listen, you know, come on. Everyone's human, what's the big deal? Okay. Let's think about that proposition [clears throat] for a moment. Hashem created me for one reason and one reason only. Because Hashem wants to give of his good to me. Hashem put me in this world and gave me this opportunity to grow and accomplish, to reach the ultimate good of being dovik to Hashem. Hashem is the meitiv, the giver, and the only reason in the world, the only reason why Hashem made me was for one purpose, to give to me. And Hashem gave me a Torah, very clear directives. Do this because it's good for you. And you'll grow, you'll accomplish, you'll have a good in this world and great in the world to come. Don't do this. It'll damage you in this world, and it'll damage you tremendously in the world to come. Very clear directives. And what happens? I don't really care. Lashon horah is not a big deal. I'm going to do it anyway. Now, you may say, "Okay, I did an aveirah, but it's not so bad." But here's where things get very, very interesting. I, as [clears throat] everything else in this world, am a creation. That means I didn't used to exist. And Hashem said, [clears throat] "Vayehi, and it should be." And a single cell began dividing more [clears throat] and more, and into this world came I as a baby, and every moment of my existence Hashem was directing and guiding, and every moment of existence Hashem is keeping me in existence. Much like I to the seagull, Hashem is to me. If for a moment of time Hashem would ever get angry at me, Hashem would be really up Hashem would just cease to infuse energy into me, and I wouldn't be. What that means in plain simple language is, Hashem gifted me with a mouth, a brain, a human brain that has a hundred billion neurons that could accomplish such things, and a human mouth that could do such things. And Hashem keeps it in existence every moment. And while Hashem keeps this mouth in existence, keeps this brain in existence, I use this very mouth to violate Hashem's will. It's as if I took a hand, and the hand that Hashem keeps in existence, and I take that hand and I smack Hashem in the face. Because don't you understand, it's not just that Hashem is present, not just that I'm doing it right in front of the king, the king is keeping me in existence, the king is granting me speech, the king is granting me a mind, the king is keeping me keeping me keeping me, and using the very tools he gave me to grow. And very clear directives for my benefit, I use the very tool against his will, against his wishes. The audacity of one sin is so beyond human comprehension that it is worth thinking about. Naturally, Hashem [clears throat] has tremendous, tremendous rachmanus, and Hashem realizes that we're spaced out, and it's rare [clears throat] that we get it. So, we don't understand the gravity of our actions, we don't understand what we can accomplish. And on the opposite [clears throat] side, we don't realize the damage that we do. And therefore, Hashem has rachmanus, and Hashem doesn't hold us accountable anywhere near the amount we should be. And certainly, if we do teshuvah, Hashem still gives us, which is the greatest neis imaginable. Because how does it undo the action? But that's the system of teshuvah, and it works, and Hashem totally cleans the slate, totally forgives us if we do a complete teshuvah. But these are concepts that a Jew has to think about. And a Jew has to think about long and hard, the very first cognition that Hashem is present all day, every day. When I get up in the morning, and I put my head down on the pillow at night. As I get behind the wheel of a car, as I drive on the highway. As I get into that elevator, and is the elevator shaft going to just collapse or not? As I go down the stairs, every moment of my life Hashem is there, right there, guiding, right there, present, right there, all day, every day. And that is one of the greatest concepts a human being can come to. The talmidim was saying to Rebbi Yochanan ben Zakkai, "But that's so small. Look at the vastness of Hashem's world." And that is true. But this concept is far greater and far more life-changing. And by the way, if you want an exercise, and this one [clears throat] personally has changed my Shemoneh Esrei every single time. Before you start the next Shemoneh Esrei, close your eyes for a moment, and just envision one thing. I'm going to speak to Hashem right here. And I have to be a little careful on Shem as no corporeality or physicality. Don't imagine you're speaking. I used to put a chair there. Guys would come up and be we know what you're doing. But imagine [clears throat] that I'm speaking to Shem right here. But if you envision that and imagine that, what you're doing [clears throat] is you're beginning to grow in real Yiras Shamayim. Another activity that'd be very wise to do is personalize every Shemoneh Esrei. Every [clears throat] Shemoneh Esrei make a personal bakasha. If you're not sure where Shma Koleinu is, it's the Shakal of all brachos. If you know the theme of the brocha, you can ask a various requests within the theme of that brocha. You could ask in that brocha. If you're not sure, you put in Shma Koleinu. You're really [clears throat] unclear after Yir'eh Ratzon. But make sure that every single Shemoneh Esrei you personalize. You make a bakasha, big or small, ask Hashem for help. Why? Because you see, when I close my eyes and I speak to my creator, I say, "Hashem, number one, I get it, you're here. Number two, you're really in charge. You really determine the outcomes. I think I'm powerful. I think I'm a child. I get it, I'm not. And then activity allows me to transcend the bounds of physicality. Allows me to [clears throat] recognize the presence of my creator. Allows me to understand that Hashem is really in charge and changes my davening. Changes my life. The third thing you have to know is you have to know what the words mean. That's the third issue. But when you work [clears throat] on all of these things, you change, you grow. And I think what this Chazal is sharing with us is an eye-opening concept. You have to have both systems. You have to study the vastness of the world so you see the world. But says Rebbe [clears throat] Nachman of Breslov, you have to know that Hashem is present. There are three ways that Hashem explains us to come to real Yediah of Hashem. Number one, the Masorah, to think about it, to dwell on it. Number two, Bechina, which is studying the vastness of the world. Look at an ocean. Go to [clears throat] a river. Study it. Any single aspect of this world. And when you study, you see the vastness of Ukraine, you see the wisdom, you see the wonder. But the third element is probably more simple and more powerful. That's the intuitive sense. I know it, I understand it. Again, sometimes I don't wake up until I'm in big trouble. But in that moment, I call out to my creator. And ideally, it should be on a regular basis. Ideally, 100 times a day. A lot more. But certainly [clears throat] during Shemoneh Esrei. But the idea of a religious experience is supposed to be a regular part of our existence. And I'd like to close with one last [clears throat] observation. Let's go back for a minute to my muscle with the seagull. Again, it's a February night. I'm standing at the bus stop. I'm shivering cold. I close my eyes and I imagine a beautiful beach scene. White sand, ocean blue, [clears throat] cloudless sky, and one lone seagull flying east. As the seagull's flying east, suddenly the seagull says, "You know what? I don't want to fly east anymore. I want to turn west." So he turns around and flies the other way. I say, "Hey guy, get back there. I want you flying east." He says, "No, no, no. I want to fly west." Come on, "No, I'm the dreamer. I want you flying east." "No, I want to go west." He says, "No, east, west, east, west." Now, obviously, that conversation never happened. Because I'm the dreamer. I'm the dreamer of the dream. Nothing can happen in the dream other than what I will to be. The seagull cannot fly west if I will it to fly east. And when you dwell on that, you recognize some of the wisdom of our creator. Number one, this thing that we call free will is not simple at all. Nothing exists without Hashem's total, complete keeping it in existence in every moment of time. No thought exists. No will exists. No cognition exists that Hashem isn't totally involved in, totally keeping in existence in every moment in time. So the idea of someone having a will other than Hashem is not [clears throat] so simple. In future sessions, we'll deal why it's philosophically impossible. But here's a much more important observation. There is nothing under the sun that could happen that Hashem doesn't say, "Yes, it's going to happen." The seagull cannot fly west if I want it to fly east. It physically can't. Because I'm the dreamer. I'm the one who keeps it. I'm the one who It can't turn the other way cuz I'm its dreamer. There's nothing under the sun, nothing in existence that can violate Hashem's will. Because Hashem is the keeper of it all. Hashem is the one who contains it, who keeps it. And there's nothing under the sun that can happen that Hashem doesn't absolutely agree with. Now, to allow [clears throat] for free will, which again in future sessions we'll discuss more in depth, Hashem will allow the seagull to fly west, even though Hashem said east. And if you want to imagine what it's like in my dream, I say, "Mr. Seagull, listen to me. I'm the dreamer. I see big and wide. And I know that it's much better you to for you to fly east." And he says, "No, I want to fly west." So I say, "Okay, fine. Listen, buddy. I'm going to let it you do your way. You want to fly west? I'll do it. But I You see, I have to turn him. He can't turn on his own because he doesn't exist without me. And so I say, "You want to turn west? Okay, we're going to turn west. What do you want to do now? You want to flap your wings? Okay, I'm going to flap your wings. Here we go. You want to continue? You want to Yeah, yeah, I want to continue. What are you sure you want to do this? Sure you want to do this? Sure you want to do this?" You see, the seagull can't do anything without me doing it. And nothing in creation can happen without Hashem [clears throat] keeping it, maintaining it. The fact that Hashem allows us to do things against what Hashem directs us to is because Hashem wants to allow for free will. Hashem wants to allow for S'char V'Onesh. But nothing under the sun, nothing in creation, nothing in existence can happen without Hashem's complete acquiescence, completely agreeing with it. And again, that has many implications which we're going to get involved in. But the simplest one is to recognize that my entire destiny and everything that ever occurs to me is completely in Hashem's hands. Bullets cannot strike me down. Lightning bolts cannot touch me. Because everything in existence is kept in existence by Hashem. The bullets, the lightning, Corona, everything in existence is only in existence because Hashem wills it to be. And I stand it because Hashem wills it to be. And anything that happens is happening in this dream called life. But much like I to the seagull, nothing can happen that I don't will to happen. Nothing can befall me that Hashem doesn't decree. And that is one of the most calming, settling concept a human being can have. I take my heavy load and I transit to Hashem. Hashem, you created me. And you have a clear destiny for me. I'm going to follow your path. No one can help me. No one can harm me. You're the creator. You're the maintainer. You're the dreamer of this dream. And you maintain everything in existence at every moment. And no human being can help me. No human being can harm me. Bullets, earthquakes, typhoons, nothing. It's all you. There's nothing but you. There's only you. Ein Od Milvado. There's nothing else in existence other than Hashem. And when I get that, it's not just that I see Hashem central in my life. I see Hashem central in everything. And I understand that everything that occurs to me, everything that will occur to me, is directed by Hashem, guided by a loving creator who wants only my best. And with that, I live a very different life. All right. Let's open the floor now to questions, thoughts, observations. If you have questions, please type them in. I can see the Q&A. And so if anyone has questions, you can type them in. I don't have that much voice left. But I do have um Yeah, I do have some voice issues. But I do have Well, before I Also, before I go into that, please keep in mind again, if you have not yet gotten the 10 really dumb mistakes that very small couples make, it's considered right now Baruch Hashem, it's I don't have a book here to show you. But it's very, very [clears throat] popular. I've received countless accolades and you know, from marriage counselors, marriage therapists, college and university teachers, people on the street. It's [clears throat] sold already Baruch Hashem 15,000 copies. It's I spent a fortune of time trying to define what a marriage needs. It's available on the shmuz.com, t h e s h m u z.com. Please feel free um to go there. Also, if you would like to get the uh Shmuz uh with chizuk, we send out these inspirational videos three, [clears throat] four times a week. And if you'd like to know about different Shmuz activities, you go to the shmuz.com, you'll see you can sign up for the Shmuz WhatsApp group. And once you join that, three, four times a week, you'll get these short inspirational videos sent directly to your phone. And you'll also [clears throat] find out about the different uh shiurim and etc. So, um if [clears throat] no one has questions, that's fine. Because again, my voice is about uh shot anyway. But if you have a question, [clears throat] please feel free to type it in. If not, then we'll be fine for next week. I hope you'll join next week. Again, we're going to be b'ezras Hashem every Wednesday night uh at 8:00. [clears throat] Uh and there's an ongoing series. The series is called An Owner's Guide to the Soul. Again, we're beginning with Hashem. We'll spend a few more sessions on Hashem and then we'll get more involved in Hashem, [clears throat] I, and interface between. But I hope you'll join us Wednesday at 8:00. And again, if you go to the shmuz.com, you can get both the Shmuz uh 10 really dumb mistakes. You can also get the video book there if you see it. And you can certainly join the WhatsApp group. I thank you very much and I wish you a very good week to come. Thank you.