How to Respect your Spouse - Rabbi Benzion Klatzko

Drabek Lascaux what how does a wife show respects the husband how does the husband show respect for the way we seemed like to piggyback on the first answer so I'm going to do that as well just to start with there are three steps to every relationship they are respect commitment and Trust and it goes in that order respect means you understand what there is about that person to respect what is it about them you know in the religious community we don't have dating when you're very young at least I'm asking Ozzie 14 15 year old we don't send them on dates and the reason that we don't is because step number one respect to understand what there is to value is always skipped over in puppy love puppy love starts right away oh I love you why because you're cute but what is it about you that I love what is it about you to be respected it starts with understanding the SHA views the worth of the individual if Albert Einstein's wife says I don't know maths math science - I don't know what that is but I love your hair right that doesn't that doesn't go if you're married to Albert Einstein you have to know you're married to a great physicist if you want to see it in the parsha it's a very beautiful thing we are in a relationship with Hashem and every time we speak about our relationship with Hashem there are these three steps in that order respect then commitment and then trust so the first nine market are then my coat of respect the tenth marker which we spoke about today is a totally different marker that's why it's called Makka pakka wrote it gets its own name the first line are the my coat of respect hashem says you've got to respect me and You Know Who I am I take care of the see I take care of the air and take care of the the land respect me and then my cap AHA wrote the last one was commitment choose me I choose you that's the leap and then the answer was trust and the rest of their time in the mid barns trust if you look at Fela every Fela has these three steps in their order shamone astray and Amida okay legato like a barber Nora respect who is Hashem Hashem is God all is Nora LeMond Schmo Brava that leads towards love and Alvin Aminata largest Muslim dad's trust my Rivas oh that's the pattern why do I tell you all of this when we first get married when we're first in a relationship we begin we we see the things in that person that are worthy of our respect they're funny they're artistic they are driven they're about - are these things worthy of respect and I think that hopefully if you've had good Audra ha if you were guided properly then part of what the guidance that you should have received was to understand what there is to respect I'm not that worried about a newlywed I'm worried about those who are married already and who have gotten used to each other and those things that we were supposed to respect about the person and that still are worthy of respect we now take for granted advance the danger the dangers not that there's nothing to respect about your wife the danger is that you no longer view this as something unique because you've gotten used to her you know she's clever you know she's smart you know he's good at business you know he's covet imatra you get used to it and when you lose the respect you forget why it is that that I invested in the first place so it's incredibly important to review your mind and to speak out when when a paycheck comes in the mail I just like you know my wife turns to me she says your paycheck came in the mail and thank you for it she always says it she doesn't forget she doesn't say well we have to our division of labor so you get your you do the Paycheck and I do the kids and there's no thank you for earning it and when my clothing is back in the drawer that's our division yeah every couple has their own I say thank you and you fold them so nicely and the supper was so delicious and you're such a good cook and you care so much and I love the way you spoke with the kids and you read to them at night and you keep on pointing out those things about the spouse that are worthy of your respect and 10 years later and 20 and 30 and 40 and 50 you're still pointing them out and you're pointing them out to make them feel good but also for yourself to remind you that this person is unique and they're special and they're worthy of your respect the danger is that we forget not that we don't know but we start taking for granted you know I have the privilege of teaching as Joan Baez class once a week and learning with many cousins and one of the things I have the man do and this is a good idea for the ladies also is I have them write out 10 to 15 things that they really respect and admire about their wife and then email it to them or send it to them or give them a little card now you know this always produced the most amazing results and in the beginning the husband I already told her like a couple of years ago like to have to say it again and the answer is yes the more we say this like rather classic or saying the the more it cultivates it's it's a such a beautiful thing when we have couple sheva tones over I usually start off saying what do you respect or admire about the person about your spouse and a lot of times I see the look in their face like they never heard this before and it's so beautiful we don't tell our spouse enough what we love and we admire about them [Music] [Applause]