How to Resolve Differences in Parenting Methods - Rabbi Ilan Meirov

Rabbi Meir of how would you deal with someone asked you this question not on the same page in terms of disciplining the kid the truth is when it comes to you know hail edema raising children I always tell people that if you would take all the different jobs that you have could be accountants and lawyers and barbers and jewelers and ot and CT and PT take all those jobs and he put on one side of the scale and then you put raising one child properly not all your kids four five six one child properly raising that child properly is much tougher than all that combined especially in our generation our generations even tougher I riebeck of just mentioned how you know scaring your kids throwing into the rooms is a tactic that can make them listen to you because you are bigger than them but ultimately you're not gonna gain anything in terms of that connection between the parent and the child so now in terms of the husband and wife everyone can have their own schita it's actually good when the husband and wife could play different roles and had a how to deal with the child obviously not contradicting each other but in a different temperament a different style a different way but at the same time my wife will tie a punishment cannot be where your child misbehaves you hit him or her you take her to the corner don't move for 10 minutes and then time and it's later he's out rather part of he knew his not to punish when you were angry because we do that when you're angry you're just letting out your anger you wait a minute or two till you calm down then he'd take that seven-year-old that five-year-old that ten-year-old and say Ruane Sarah what did you just do I let him talk to you let them describe what happened why did he hit her he'll explain the other but he started it she started he did he you're talking to them and then you responding and then you bring the child that he hit to the table what happened you tell me the story and they keep tone quiet and they're conversing with each other and he come to the conclusion and then he could say you know what now you need a five-minute timeout you need a five-minute time I go to the corner well you did if he here was you train your children to think about what they did and hadn't gotten up the situation as opposed to your sitting eating supper he doesn't mean wrong you take him storm to the corner sounds like mo you've you know 200 pounds everything it wasn't you do that and then my I think the best thing is learn how to communicate with each other newbies you'll be shocked how smart the kids are you'll be very smart the children are full of ideas and full of teeth same reasons they could come up with with different you know they can make things up don't get me wrong you know I have a son here Billy he's a very intelligent kid Lokesh him but intelligence sometimes and doing things you know in not the right fashion yeah I taking the show on Friday nights and there's a guy that hangs out candies over there he's a candy man and somebody somehow he always finds a way to get five six candies in his pocket for my brother for my friend for my cousin Zetas I told listen I mean I want you only take one for yourself only free stuff okay how about no problem I bet one day I watch him and Friday night he goes to get his candy he puts one in his pocket that takes another one puts it in one show takes another one puts in the back of the other shoe and you can see he's walking back like so someone limping like did you get the can is a gap I gotta have it in my pocket right now that made me somewhat proud why he's trying to think of ways to beat the system Sonny come to him and say hey you got shy you can have I didn't say that I said I don't wanna mention his name you might see this video one day I said let me say his name is Shay Michelle chief Shan why are you having a hard time walking and he has a little smaller is there something stuck in your shoe and this is AB I took an extra candy and I go ahead Abbott tell you you told me not to about I really wanted I really wanted for my brother and and I explained to him I understand you love your brother so much but you most of the time you eat it yourself right maybe I'll take it for your brother but I made it to a conversation where we talked and we communicated any understood and though Hashem he accepted I could have said you know what I see an issue go back give all attendees back you're not getting anything it's not about being a policeman is about try to communicate and connect with them that would be the best way and like I said before about the parents the difference of opinion the best thing is this should be a different opinion but know how to apply it at the same time without contradicting and causing the child to say oh when I have a problem I gotta go to email I got to go to Alba because now I'm gonna make them fight with each other and then get away with it that's it happens many times that's Mario so so again there has to be some sort of system that the father and mother put together and never ever do it because do with Ava communicate with the child open conversation and you'll see a lot more results than by forcefully punishing them [Music] [Applause]