How Outreach Works - Rabbi Reuven Leuchter

[Music] we are speaking about kilvo Hakeem and we want to teach people how to get close to the trailer people which are intrinsically not so interested but we have to bring them closer to trailer what is the major force which makes them taking a step in the end we want to take a step this one of the big problems today which you feel I don't really want them to take on excuse me I don't really want them to take a step III want them to be connected no and you will deal with kilvo Hakeem you will fall into that pit for once in a while you'll feel so great that the press is connected to you it doesn't take a step and in the end you'll be disappointed I don't know whether you worked once with people but that's a very big pitfall I had a person which I was working over Ho Chi Minh FIFA he was very much connected to me and he learned with me you didn't take one step and then I left and he stayed where he was so that is a divot disappointment but the disappointment is not only disappointment it sounds like that is a lack of understanding what makes a person taking a step in his life so I want to tell you that from a from a thing which I tried wants to do I want try to uproot a street sign you did it once no I try to do that so I didn't do it till the end because it wouldn't be such a nice scenery that the person with a long black coat stands with a street sign vandalism Tom who you know not a real not a real big red light but as three China try to take it out so I try to do it that I pushed and pushed heart I pushed hard and push on into anything and then I found no I don't have to push I have to push and leave and push and leave and push and leave I can't only push that doesn't do anything had to push that leaf and then this thing creates resonance you call that resonance and the resonance that's a force in nature in reality which is stronger than nearly anything you know that's why when you are in the army you can't go with a unit with a together you know in a in a synchronised way you can't go over any bridge because the bridge could fall down but you are only human you force together is much less than what is needed to take down the bridge much less you would push this bridge from today till tomorrow it will move one millimeter but when you walk on it in a uniform in the unit's own sonic way you could catch the resonance of the bridge and then it falls down no that means residence is one of the biggest forces which are there anywhere resonance but we are trying to be McCullar person we have to create resonance we don't have to create information we don't have that will be later that will speak out that later but the first thing I have to create resonance that means that the the there is let's say there is a connection going on with that person he comes in and then he goes out and then he comes again next Shabbos and then he goes home and then to Shabazz's again he comes and then he goes oh this is not the Edson Cleo this is the resonance which is created that you are able afterwards to cause that person that he has to take a step so the step could be in either way the truth is that step could be in either way you could create the resonance and the person feels so strongly he has to take a step after 1012 times he has to take a step that step could be out too but the a so take a step you have to do something you can't leave the things they are that is one of the biggest carriers in the world because resonance creates a very deep force in the word person resonance is even more it creates when I may tell you that it creates a certain thing which you would call that identification you identify with the thing you identify through resonance not through reason that's wrong to who doubt if it's the Buddha German it resonance yeah that's it that's the same word from Latin what shall I do but who'd I think you call it in Ebru - who da ya head - that means again the same thing same thing bah bah watch goes out you know that's the way you uproot the street sign you did it once you have to try it out you know it's a very funny experience but but stop before it comes out otherwise you'll be you'll be in troubles so but you could do it for sure for sure but you can't only push yeah it says in the Basilica show him that thing when you want a source for that that resonance creates that that's the beginning of the Basilica show it says everyone knows what you have to do ever knows it but because you know it you don't do it yeah and that's why you have to to zola all of us smolder you have to hustle the safer so when you learn it in an abstraction when you learn Onesimus it'll show me that in the end in the the preface in October he says that that those are things I only wanted to remind you things you for sure know and but because you know it so well you forget it unclear I know it so I forget it what Alzheimer it's the ultimate I know it and I forget it what does it mean what does that mean it means you know it but you don't identify with it that's why you forget it and what are you identifying with you have identified with your nature cave our autumn that's the way he says nature till you identify with you don't identify with avoided that's the machine as a shawl so what state what does he say you have to resolve all of us model so when you learn that safer in a very superficial way extremely superficial then you think it means brainwashing cause all of a mother of the brain was just and now it can't be because it says you have to think about the things brainwashing is stuff get that you don't think okay so it can't be brainwashing what is it you are lacking an identification that's why you forget it and now you have to make a Hazara so what happens now that's missing is to show him when you are Heuser all of us mother that you are going back to it you go back to it you go back to it from all the different places you'll go back and think again about that and from here you think and from there you think you think from all the different places that creates resonance within you that you will not be able to forget that because you identify with that to see that's missing this column so that is the preface of the Meseta song which he wants you to be HEIs the petrova he wants you to do something with your life and the key to that is Hazara all of us mother that's the preface that's what is need without that you can't begin to work you can't when you don't know how that works that it works in that way you can't begin to work because you'll try to push and you have to push and you had to convince and die to speak and it doesn't work it simply doesn't work it does not what works is that it goes again it goes again and it goes again and it's not brainwashing it's creating within the person resonance with what is needed and then he is able to take a step so that's first that's first and this is a very personal thing by a person because not everyone resonates with the same thing and you would make like I am the Balch over even though you don't see it now and you have to see it right away I speak I'm well Shubham my father didn't know what is your keeper that's how far you get you know so I didn't know who Switzerland golden is didn't know so so when you would take me to communal events yeah I remember that when you take me now ah we have to make a NCS why you know take the guy and put him in the group and he'll behave either by the group experience I would flip out I would just leave the place because that does not resonate with me till now no it doesn't but people like so much say they should be together with others looking at the game and be a part of a group and I mean the team I thought I resonate with something else so that's a very personal thing that's a very personal thing for the person you work with you have to understand what is the point of resonance once in a while Easter personal connection will speak like that one survivor is that content we speak about that too but what's right all different kind of ways how a person reacts to what you do with them but when you find out what he is reacting with then you have to create a resonance and then you can work with a guy yeah otherwise doesn't work okay but residence is not the whole thing the rate of you see the services resonance is only the background you have to create that but then you have to teach or I have to do something with the person yeah resonance is not only the only thing so the first thing I want to point out after that you have that that you have to create a resonance with a person and kill for him you have to be aware that what you want to bring the person closer to is this thing you also have to be closer to it's a ugly situation when you are making killer hokum under the assumption that you are so enlightened with the truth you know you are such a happy person so lucky that's the truth the eternal truth revealed itself to yourself and you want to share it with others which are such neighbors which they didn't have this chance to be exposed to that unbelievable truth better go home and drink a coffee you know just go home it doesn't work no and that leads to very very unbelievable absurd situations you know you have a young guy aged 20 something you know he just went out of there you know could make like connect in the world or a very nice young guy and the cross same said someone which is a a successful professor at MIT you know he knows how to do though all different kinds suddenly this whole thing changes now this professor is wearing now retooling and you are the old sage which tells the professor what you learn in MIT we entire you already three thousand years ago do you think that does something besides pushing the guy away do you think I don't think so I think that is a very ugly situation you know people try to do it they say you know the relativity theory of Einstein is already mentioned in the bowel it was a sham a person which that sells you that lock ssin that you have to tell him you are telling me two things one that you don't understand Einstein and two that you don't understand them are old that's the only thing it tells you you know it's absolute nonsense you know 100 nonsense no we are not mathematicians we are those physicists we are not astronomers we are been a tailor we learnt a lie I tell you like something else don't speak but astronomy and is not the point no but tell you there's something which is also above you it's not only above the guy it's above you and when you don't get that you can't be working keel over hiking because kilo faking is contagious it's not a teaching situation it's a contagious situation when you are growing the guys across you will grow too when you are delivering the guy across you won't grow won't do it shall be soil I'm sorry cilantro said that mr. bass you have to see it here but Rizal says that that teaching in this works in a way that it is like a contagious disease you yourself are growing the guy across you is also growing yeah and that has to be genuine you can't say yes I'm growing for sure yet for sure trail is unlimited for sure I'm growing that's like good honest you have really to be about that when you speak about Chavez you have to understand Shabbos is also above you and when you think your Shabbos is only your truth you are wrong Shabbos is way above you way above everyone you know and when I want to species to Shabbos I have to work like a horse yeah but then you can't be in a kind of someone even though he's much farther away he's somewhere else but because you want to grow towards the thing then you can also influence another person that he also wants to grow but when you think that's a big difference between our education and education which you get in university I wasn't University inch right yeah and it's whistle but when you're on University and you learn then you are half teachers which definitely know the topic but they have a pity on you as you're unenlightened student and they'll teach you linear algebra that was taught you know oh yeah they will teach you group theory or whatever it is you know that's a teacher but they know it exactly they know it very well that's the teaching way when you teach information when you want to teach personality it has to be that you as a personality is also growing and when you as a personality don't grow that won't go over huh won't go over only think about this unfair thing you tried the guys to change his life are you willing to change your life oh no no no no no you don't get it I am already very and I'm fine I keep Travis I learn I do the mid-surface I don't have to change but this guy has to change do you think that does something it doesn't do anything no but you understand that you yourself also have to grow you have to develop you have to change then you can't bring the other person to a point that he has to change too huh that's a difficult endeavor that's not easy that's not easy to admit it doesn't have to be that you have to grow in the very exact same field you are teaching but it has to be something inherent in in vine inherent in your personality that you are not there you have to grow you have to change and then you can influence people that they have to change too okay I think that's it's a fair take that's the thing but result says that emitter-base that cue volume is contagious now this leads us to another point which is extremely important it's extremely potent for all of us we have to understand that talent is is something which is above us this is a very this works beautifully but you are you don't have the courage to do that because you want that tailor should be simply be more clever then then than the world yeah we do the same thing in a more efficient way no we live a different life what shall I do it is different I was once in a in a in a tennis of psychologists where our him made that kennis and they invited my evolved my labor - that was a vulva I was learning with him for 23 years but whose so so I was there - he took me along and we went both to that Kenny's of our esteem and they were professional psychologists near and I'll him spoke about psychology and these professionals they were so upset about them you know I was sitting in the crowd next to Hillary people and our daily spoke one with the other wasn't so funny you know and then the revol became and he said the schwoz he said Amelia Shiva only said it in words the way you say it to people which are not knowledgeable but he said exactly the same she was he said to me receiver looks like the same one and the people were sitting there like this believe me you're sitting like this they saw an other world they didn't see a person which is the more intelligent psychologist than them no and this is what a lot of T over hiking people want to do they want to convince the other side you do it we do it better huh-huh but you know we'll know a long time ago no no we have at different life that's one of the challenges when I might tell that to you i won look I I was you know roughly claimin no for - no you don't know you know a rough Lao for sure you heard about them I've loved had one see she was here didi I was much here there yeah Shiva also that the tillow me people and then well it was one of the most difficult endeavours I had to try to bring the people to the recognition that the the world of Terra is a different world it's not a better world it's not a more more sophisticated world it's different it's different and you have to go for that you don't have to be afraid to present that you don't have to present that in a lot of people in an aggressive way but you have to be comfortable that your world is different because then they see that guy is real yeah otherwise they don't see it they only think yeah we heard some intelligent things very nice but why do I have to change my life because of that unclear yeah no it's not intelligent it's different you live a different life I don't know whether you can be fine where is your life different huh that has to be it has to be a part of your hero for him don't be afraid to show the people that the world of Toyota the world of Q mitzvos is creating a different life with an approach not only better it's different okay so that's a very important thing we could we could spin what every every recruitment would speak at length but I am I'm here to give you a like that's what I did sure you can't tell me it's pouring then I will go out whenever it's boring whatever you want but I had to give you like a presentation how that thing according to my opinion how that thing works yeah how that works the keel of a Viking I think that's what I'm here for okay so that you have to you have to present and now because you have to present a different world there comes something which people today are deprived you have to create a personal relationship with the person you want to be Micallef that is the tool but Adam what works Lamesa people today are deprived of that I don't know which institution he went through which learning institution when you go to university for sure it's like this but also when you go to achieve it's like this in in in university I was okay to us it was a different way it wasn't finished but but when you go when you go in the Shiva to when you were once in in Shiva and you think when the serosa Shiva think about you Aamir goes through some seminary opener when does a person think about you you know you have two possibilities or you try to burn down the yeshiva or you are suicidal then they begin to think about you otherwise they won't you should think about them that's what the teacher is now hey I teach you what do I want from you I want that you should think about me because I want to teach you huh I don't have to think about you that would be very nice it will be enhancing it will be a nice fluffy feeling very nice but has done anything with teaching teaching means that you please think about my things because I am again the enlightened person and you are not knowledgeable about that topic please listen to me huh no no let us work like this the truth is you can teach only someone when you are interested in him then that's a thing which the whole universe the whole universe of people is just deprived of that and what you are it is a thing we could we could speak I could just it's it's it's disastrous that that's what they now begin to free see that the social networking and all these things make the people really like like like pathologically deprived of any normal relationship with another person it's like pathologic huh you have no normal relationship with another person you don't relate to him you don't listen to him you are not interested in him you're interested perhaps in East Kivar and when he makes like this what you do you blend about no but you are yeah when you're a teenager you you put something in them and then you wait they should be like this I mean some weights like that they say oh that guy not from my group out are you crazy it's a craze the whole thing it's a dangerous life people are in dangerous situations they have no normal connection to other people when you are dealing with Cuba were hiking you have to know that you deal with kill of a Viking you have to be interested in them now be careful that's why I pray I prepared beforehand became interested in them doesn't mean that you just go down into their level no interested in that means you think deeply about the other person when you think I'm interested in them and they'll go to a baseball game and you know that I should show them that I'm interested in them I go with them to a baseball game you make a mistake because then you will simply connect to them in a very low level that could be needed could be but that's not interested in them believe me interested in a person means that he feels you think deeply about him huh so I do are you showing that how do you do that occult in my opinion when you won't try to teach any person something you have to first be able to learn generally something from that person yeah and I have talmidim that that is the problem I have now a cradle of 2024 so there I do that but when I do when you have your ship in front of you is with 300 people or 100 people that is extremely difficult to do my rabbit revolver he was a it was a big person in the in these things he said more than hundred and ten bore him he can't handle today when you have a Shiva 110 bore him you can make you can't give your building for sale because then she will close down because 210 today is one she'll you have to have a shield of 100 no she an olive hundred or AG she pase hundred she gave a hundred and the kyboots $300 peace that's how you achieve it 600 600 that's something yeah but but hundred the holy Shiva no one will go there you know no one will be interested in that it's too small and now he couldn't handle more because you really can't be interested in more than I don't know how you can be in hundred but you can't be interested in people like this you can't you only can't manage people yeah you can manage a thousand too but you can't can't be interested in a thousand people you can't do that so try us so when you want to influence anyone first you have to make him into a god lador and that is independent that could be a a child that could be as someone which entirely fry that with someone which is entirely off track they ease in every single person according my opinion and every single person there is an akuna where this person is bigger than you huh I mean you don't feel that he will not receive from you because first of all you have to make that this person is bigger than you and used to find that you have to be interested in him yeah when you find that then this is combining Ponyville pauline kael a autumn load on that's why you ever slam a melon says in in mislaid the way you are learning generally from him he will learn something from you but now that's a tricky thing he will learn something from you he doesn't he will not learn something from your information he will learn something from you and that's the growing point your point you have to have you have to have some genuine thing in your toilet where you try to grow you try to understand and then this interest which you have really that will go over yeah you're his la voz all your interest will go over because you are interested in that person that is a key to key over volume which today it's it goes the opposite way around because skill of Tiger has a very bad premise the by Travis is that the other person is not knowledgeable he's low yeah the other person is lower than me as I eat us that's what you think and then the whole dynamic doesn't really work it works when you put the other person above you in one point in one point I had taxi drivers like this I try I like to do that you know a taxi driver a bus driver and a person which is a devil it takes a civil I wonder I speak with them or the one which brings the bread you know from Angela yeah so you can't make him into a person which is bigger than you in one point not in everyone you know don't be fooled you know but in one point he is for sure bigger than you and then you can teach but otherwise doesn't go over huh because it will not connect in the right way so these those are certainly goodness now there is another point in there which this is a point which you want from the person and this is a thing which we have to work on that I wrote here Ellis kite I don't know how to say say it in English it's a different word difficult word in English yeah Ellis means Allah I don't know what you have to be like honest but honest means it has a different flavor yeah but you have to to to bring over that telluride is in a real way interesting for you and the living of Toyota is in a real way interesting for you it's for real it's not only on the paper it's for real this is not so easy huh because when you think what really takes you once a why do I I made a test with myself I don't want you to make that test but I made the test with I self I thought about what do I think when I wake up you know and then then it's not so funny yeah that's so funny because you think about all the kind of nonsense what did I dream there was enough human again you are making a psychoanalysis now boys was not Ghia why watch what call me daddy - but there are not too many times in my life which I get up and say oh I can say my the army and I can connect to the broiler melody even though I do it for sure I say right alla finestra melanism i think and then you go and wash your hands and then you you say the Bacchus and then it's really interesting ready but you would film yourself and you say you are very inspired to say the bill has a Shaha you know huh puh very nice huh now it doesn't do the job ya know where are you ever less about your he disguised so that thing has to grow so in order this should grow this is a cornerstone in in in kill vivec it is a cornerstone in kill him which you have to have that I speak again I speak to you and and I I really I want I want to help you I didn't come here I had not have stomachache is for sure and I don't have to get rid of anything I want to help you the core point which will help you to keep up all the things that you are somehow involved in your own asic with the trailer when you give that up and I saw people with my eyes which gave it up and they were so occupied with hosting people and telling them and teaching them but their own Elvis kite interior vanished they are not Messiah I know a person which had to go but I wonder I can't tell you what all different kind of snot scary no I don't know no no - juicy things no no no not these that was a very simple now I was in in LA by person and he had a nice home the way you have in LA when you leave would leave on topeka Robertson you know the LA you know very nice hope and then he began to be apologetic you know like this nice home really I needed it because over here you can't really have the people will not hold of you when your home is not beautiful and thinks and then says Shalom Shalom you occupied you that huh in a few years down the road you'll be gone and he was gone he had to go go over to another town yeah because that took him no or you need a nice home or not don't speak about that and I come to visit you and I came to visit to the people to you know I come to visit to the people I go to America to speak with them about all different kind of things when you speak with me and says I have a personality personal thing with me and I do it then that's interesting the guy wants to grow the guy takes that growth his own growth real but when the first Shalom Aleichem is that the apologetic about the wall painted and the new fridge you have and the new chairs you have then I say ok too bad you know that will takes your attention that's not the show no Malaysia for lifestyle you know it's a bad Sholem Aleichem yeah I want to have a better one I want to have some insight some some things to deal with that would be good because then the who this is on your head but we're not you can't that guy worked and killed over him like a madman he had to go it was material you can do it because you can't keep up when the trailer is not ever like with you yeah you have to do that and this is a thing we have to find a way when you are over here in a program I don't know where you are when you're in the program it is needed like air to breathe that you will have some connection to people that your witness will be growing or you bill will be for real it has to be you can't survive without that not because you will be villainy no because you're killed over how you will fail your whole endeavor will fail and you don't know why and so much in investing in that I try so hard but it doesn't work because you have to be Ellis with your trailer and then that thing can go over that can be a learning curve also with someone I knew people in the who beats ville computer that was in in Wisconsin somewhere and when I went through his to this University he was there alone no minion you know I went through Martin's will you know what mountains Willie's that's the home of the Ku Klux Klan that's dangerous too yeah so I told the driver I will go to a shop over here to buy a coke you know that I should have a Cibola from Martinsville you know for my so he looked he turned white and said like she will not exceed that car over here you know because they will perhaps kill you you know okay so I went through that town a crazy place and 10 minutes or 15 20 minutes later we were at there are the other guy you know he was in nowhere alone nowhere no minion no shabbos minion nothing good nisht but he kept up his learning with a diffuser which was a good hover of him which are of who'sa in in gainesville that's all so now we're in Florida somewhere you know in Gainesville name or land or not go out not left to go right that anywhere I go we're going to engage well yeah so you go you go there he was in Gainesville and these two people they were learning together on skype once a to day once a day something this they survived beautifully and their Kiev endeavor goes on till today that's four years I don't want you to stay four years in the business that's not my parent does not my Union but you should be successful just have a success the success is a direct rate from how much you are involved in your own openness and when you are ceasing to be involved in your own office the success rate will go down to zero right well it won't be successful that's the thing which we didn't understand that I still no I don't understand that for real it's like it sounds like it's cooler I don't know what it is but it is a matter of fact that's the way it works because you can't be successful without that because he'll work if you have to have that that that trigger is for real for you okay now it's something also for the ladies the same thing but you as lay is teaching things it could be you don't give classes with with with lecturing and you more have a like a color baking of things like this it has to be that your daily involvement with that has to be also something which is definitely higher than only a good feeling definitely different higher you at home it's a different flavor it's a flavor that mitzvos are for real it's a flavor that this whole thing is for real what today is yeah that has to be coming over from you it's not so much information that's always a very healthy thing that's not only information which goes over it is a flavor and the special part of a woman it says in the morning in in humor that that she has a sense of smell she smells Tyra a woman is not not after knowledgeable she smells she smells Taylor that's something much more delicate but as I said when Schmidt you know that's once a lie which you feel very definitely when you come home and say how was the day it's a great and then now not great you know at simply it's a disaster that's right I know it from myself I'm already married 40 years most probably you know it already now when not and wait a few years you'll know it soon yeah so simply this ruch of Raya has to be developed towards cellulite that means you are knowing that the Toyota and the mixes they have a certain area which is very important that is the H same endeavor from the other sites not only learning business it's a whole life business and that's what a life is about those are the things which I want you to tell you that how killer Holcomb is built in a very general way every single point or what I mentioned over here would have to be worked on with ourselves working on it it takes weeks it takes months can you have some taste in what does it mean creating a residents what does it mean being Ella what mean that you see qualities in other people which obviously are less than you in a you know obvious way less than you how do you do that you know you can't come and say I believe in everyone that's superficial it has to be deep how do you do that how do you make that the other one should be bigger than you how much work is involved it's work it's always work it's a very it's a very rewarding work and that's the way I feel that your own growth will be bigger when you are dealing with beaming over to others your own growth will be bigger then not only that others will grow and others will change your own growth will be much bigger when you do that because you have to work on your own person you have to be very heavily involved in your own self development in order that you should be able to give over to other people what means Triana okay so that is Perret Sam what I want to tell you in a very general way I hope that this wasn't wasn't boring but I think those are the essential points a few of them of the sensor points which came out through the years that those are central to what is going on in in kill vivec him I think that what I the way I understood that what I was supposed to do that's right I'm not sure I've never sure what the people want from me I think that what I was supposed to do I tried to do what I can hopefully it was interesting for you for me it was for sure interesting to sit with a new group and looking and seeing what's going on and I hope that you'll be much Lia and your endeavor at calm [Music] [Applause]