How Can a Husband Gain Respect without being a Dictator? - Rabbi Ilan Meirov

the man's asking if it says the Rambam says that a man should not have excessive fear in his home right which makes sense especially in America or I think that's illegal then how can he get the respect from his wife that the ROM said for the ladies to respect the husband to look him as a king and a minister if there is there's no like you know we feared the king we fear our boss if there's no fear how can we get that respect so we're gonna let Rabbi Meir I'll start off dealing with that you know we all hear this concept called you gotcha mine you got a fear heaven I've been few heaven they've got to be scared if I do in a very after after after my must be scared for the rest of my week for the rest of my day what does he touch I might I mean that's a question I always posed to some of the teams teenagers that we deal with and I asked him what do you say you got charm Imus and everyone has this idea of God being this evil king that's waiting for you to do in a favor in to come after you for doing this IV line you're gonna go to get home after under 20 years I tell them guys this is absolutely the wrong definition I'll tell you how we have to define it or charm I'm in order for us to appreciate it in a practical level give me an example maybe not the greatest example give me an example any one of you here follow the basketball sports John Gotti yeah you into it no anyone here yes who would you say is your favorite basketball player huh okay Michael Jordan 25 years ago ah-hoo curry wait is that what sport is this basketball Rosina so watch so you have this guy curry I bring him over here to 108 Street and you're gonna have a one-on-one pickup game against this guy curry you hear me now during this game you notice that every move he makes he freezes you and he basically scores the basket now are you Jarett of this curry are you secured of him yeah it scared of him you're in awe of his greatness Wow look how do you do that cuz if you play against me you'll be right why from the floor right if you play against them you'll take care of them as well you play against them why you're the best you're the best in his neighborhood but when you have him come to the court suddenly AG wow this person is from a different level so fear doesn't mean have to be secured it means actually be in awe of the greatness of that individual you're not ashamed being offer shams greatness look at this beautiful world look at your body every second your heart is pumping blood imagine how many millions upon millions of things have to happen for you to be alive and well when you're eating the digestive system you should a boxer my lad you should be in awe of the greatness of a shame when we're talking about a husband wanting fear what's fear cuz you come in and you stamp your feet everyone says you don't happens home everyone stop is that what you want or you want when I the walks home here's a person that we look up to look what he does for us look how much he does for the free mind for the kids where either comes home you're excited to see him and you respect him you want to stand up robber because what he's such a special person you fear him not because he's a scary individual that demands things and put you in the corner and beat you up we do something wrong but rather cuz he knows how to deal with every scenario bit hakama and had to come up with nice beautiful conclusions and resolutions all your children's problems and he wipes issues so if we define fear as a person that is a dictator then you know what you're gonna succeed in getting that fear but there's not gonna be that true violation of item house but if fear is is is defined as a person I look up to I mean I respect I mean obvious greatness then you'll see that it's a healthy fear that leads to a tremendous amount of respect from you to your spouse at the same time from you trolling to you as well [Music] [Applause]