Fear of Sin Exercise (Advanced Users Only) - Rabbi Efraim Stauber

[Music] today's segment is for advanced users I want to talk to you about how to upgrade your experience the dynamics has been averaged do not try this if you're still a beginner if you haven't done it already a little bit you're not getting used to the idea of what it feels like to sit with regret and the similar please do not try this right away okay but if you're already kind of getting a sense out it is here's the next level had it really upgrade and it's actually something very very exciting I call it a year us half-cut exercise your s f ed is a level of madruga that I I always assumed that it's just thought it's impossible for me I mean what would yours okay let's talk about your cycle you know what does it mean yeah well as your hashem your shin myeon your sh mom is perhaps more common concept that people could relate to and it would quite those two levels - levels the low level like for children Avira my name is o if you're a bad boy you'll get punched you know you go ahead um is it got a fire there I think it's very hot so be a good boy or they get punished I know the robbery tells us that that's not the real thing but that's for little children as for people who don't have a developed mind real years remain right you fear of God it's like anything else very important to you you know are you scared to walk into the street without looking just walk into the street hopefully you aren't because that fear will keep you alive if you value your life you exercise caution you are scared of losing it if you value relationships you exercise caution you know at work you may not tell your boss everything you want to know I wish people would act that way with their spouse you know if we really respected and appreciated the people who loved us in our lives we would exercise caution once it in my private practice there was a woman telling me that you know I feel that like in marriage so there's love and you shouldn't have to think before you talk you know because you want to have a natural relationship and a natural relationship is comfortable and when it's comfortable you just say whatever you're it's such a terrible terrible mistake because you need to have respect love will only exist within the context of respect if someone loves you but doesn't respect you that love will die so fear getting back to fear fear or you can call it caution when you really really appreciate when you really value something you're afraid of losing it and that's what you're at shamayim is when a scheme' is important to you when I should miss bad with you so your fear you don't want to do it various because you know that that's gonna distance you from my chef it's gonna ruin your relationship with a champ it's not just about punishment so that's yours mine what does yours have had me years have had me it's not just that I'm afraid of losing my relationship with Hashem the actual sin itself become so associated with the dangers that I'm scared of the sin itself I look at it like poison right for example like an addict the way he may look at alcohol reg the person who's not an addict will look at I'll call and just say uncle you know get a good roll you know you could enjoy a glass of wine but you know I don't have too much of it we're not scared of the wine but a person is an addict right at least some of the addicts that I talk to they say it's not from when I see alcohol I see poison and what I have to know is that if I drink that I will die for me a drink a sip is death and when they realize that then that's no that's really a way to stay away from it that's what you're a subhead is when you take the your schmayman you actually attach it to any was like wow you associate the full danger and the pain of what you're losing to that behavior so you're really really far away from it you know we see this in in our world very simply you know I remember once passing by an area I was in the United States and there was like a fire and then the firefighters here on the fire trucks and the back of the truck there's this big sign it said stay back 300 feet stay back 300 feet I'm making myself like no one's staying back to injury you know all the onlookers are trying to see this is the Gila Y of one want see you everyone's curious right but the firefighters know that you know the fire does surprising things it's a dangerous thing so don't just stay away stay far away stay 300 feet away which is much further than you need to stay but you know you want to be safe you say way back now cos all did that with a virus Casals attitude virus is like much more extreme than we would like you know for example hippos you could you're in the secular world they're all good I don't get it what's a man and a woman can't be in the same building like tonight like um but it what is it you know where the rabbi said like these dirty minds like where they think about all the time right stay 300 feet away that when you have your SF cut you don't just stay away from you stay far with it amazing what I love wait it's a joke on earth and in heaven either sent me in the club class it says it says that if you have to stay very very far away men have to stay very far away from mingling with women it doesn't it said this with Washington Earth it says sorrowful hiss traffic mode mode mingling it's not enough to stay far away you have to stay very far away and that's not either enough you have to stay very very far away you know in the business world you know you go out to lunch you hang out ya know it's just business yeah you know but then like surprisingly ends up that it's not business where did that come from it comes from not staying very very far away so you're surfing internet how many clicks away are you from pornography huh are you are you far away from it are you very very far away from it come on let's get serious filters that's good let's make it impossible that we could access dangerous things stars spirituality it's amazing to imagine what what's what our children have access to well we have access to we were sitting on a computer with unfiltered internet a few clicks away for the most horrible horrible destruction of our own Souls there's Gomorrah Misaka suka which brings us out in an amazing way the kumara says that at the end of time may it come sooner Shem will slaughter the ate Sahara little shuck the Attar there's a hope shop why specifically slaughtering you know it's not just cause it's gory that's almost slaughter the attire now at that time he's gonna show the a Tahara to the taking me to the restroom and interestingly enough it will appear differently that's article cd8 Zohar as a huge mountain and the Russia will see the atera as a little lost in here okay interesting cryptic what's that about let's go a little further America dnews and it says in a person's interaction with the HR in our relationship with the attire at first it's our appears to a person like a very thin strength like a spider would weave like a strand that comes out of a spider that's how week that's what the HR is like however with time if the person gets comfortable it's alright so to speak that thin strand turns into a thick rope the kind of rope used to tie a bull to the wagon so the Maheshwara is like comparing these two kumaras in trying to figure out is there a contradiction here is another contradiction because if you look at it's kind of confusing first it says the sadducees a mounted and the Russia sees a fin here and then it says like for everybody it starts out as a fin here ends up as a thick rope how do you put these two cars together and then my stress is an amazing shot it's just like this really the Russia is looking at the 8th Sahara the way it actually is in real time because the Chimera says that the eights are a piercer person like a thin strand and that's what the 8th Sahara will see at the end of time a thin strand the russia looks at the 8th ihara the way it is nothing I'm doing you today but I could stop tomorrow it doesn't really control me yeah it's just like a little thing I'm doing right now and the thing is the russia is right what the russia doesn't realize though is what's gonna happen in the future is a hakama race and neither did sonic realizes is that if you continue with it it's a slippery slope you know if you start with a little infraction very very quickly that little thin strand becomes a powerful rope so that's what that's Alex he's a big mountain that sonic looks at the thin strand that says yeah right now it's a thin strand but he understands what's can happen in the future this is oh my gosh this is a heavy mountain that will crush me the Russian lives in the reality listen to now he says he he doesn't he's realistic he says the Atari is just that so I'm not gonna worry about the future I'm gonna chill it sighs don't you oh my gosh stand back this is dangerous run away yes your associate so he doesn't even get close to it so that's why the Russia experiences they're harder the way it is is it thin strand and eventually as a thick rope but it's either who sees it from the beginning as a big mountain it remains the whole time if the power over the tonic is like a spider's web nothing easily brushed away that's what caused a lie telling us to do with a virus don't look at them the way they are forgivable URIs ahead is to take the full understanding of where this is going and associated that with effect okay so this is the introduction how can we use this practically how can we learn from the Gemara to do what the salic does obviously you know we want to be a target out of Russia right so how can we get your ass octet and see a mountain when in fact all it is right now is a little strand see because the challenge is the rush is actually correct the Russia sees a strand and that's all that's there that sound like sees a mountain that's in the future how do we get that wisdom of it sonic to see a mountain where it's hard to see it right now and the answer is it's an upgraded version of our pain regret exercise using a visceral experience our first time to smooth you how it works and I'm gonna tell you a specific example that we already did in our webinar and it goes like this I want you to think about your worst failure in whatever area you're working on and when you picture your worst failure then your deepest regret because whatever is you're working on chances are you failed at some point in it and that's why you're working on it right so think of your epic failure your worst time and how that felt for you and if you this is like upgrading they were you know taking the extreme version of the regret remembering your epic failure and how you felt then don't distract yourself for me find it in your body find that horrible horrible feeling and realize that tomorrow when you're gonna be tested with just a little edge of that if you don't stop it when it begins you're gonna get back you're gonna do that again you will do that again so see the mountain instead of seeing the strength and let me tell you a specific example how this worked out in the seminar that so there's a man saying that you know he wanted to work with annoying situations and annoying people not to get annoyed okay then he was realizing that if he'd be more connected to our shaman he would be more spiritual more more conscious more mindful so then I know in situations that annoying people wouldn't affect his emotions okay a very very special person this is what he's working on and okay so here's here's the story there's this guy in shell he's a gob I have a minion and justice guy intial who's annoying everybody he Dobbins loud I don't know you just he screams the whole domini and nobody could concentrate and everyone's coming over to him that's the guy bike hey you gotta do something about it Donald to stop you know none of us could think none of us could concentrate this guy over happy for him he's praying but like no one else could pray so you know he's getting annoyed and it's getting stressed out by it and every day he tries to say something and the guy all the normal methods of communication failed and then one day he lost it he just blew up at the guy and he bade he did the equivalent of throwing him hard he and he's so broken about right now he's so he's so eat it hurts him so much he's like wow i ashamed a jew in front of in public from other people and he's so broken about it right now so here's how we utilize that when you think about that pay like you never want to do that again but how about the frustration that you're gonna experience tomorrow so that yeah whatever he's a little frustration you may get a little bit annoyed you might say come on you know so we allow ourselves slight infractions ah get a little bit annoyed and we forget about her Shem for a minute and we think that this is a horrible person and he's causing me a problem and and I need him to stop because my life isn't good cuz all these people are in this guy this guy is the problem because I forgot about a chef so I think this guy is the problem so we allow ourselves in a daily way a slight infraction but the thing is if you allow yourself that you know what's gonna happen if you get annoyed again and again and again eventually you're gonna explode just like you did last time so don't just promise not to explode promise not to you know what you want to focus on what you want to work on is the little slight frustrations and allow your awareness of our Shem to cure you from the slight frustrations realizing that if you don't it's having you right there so this is this is our high level exercise I hope to recycle to achieve it a little bit it's a year of soccer exercise it's realizing that what I'm dealing with is not just what it is right now it's the slippery slope of where it's going so visualize feel experience the pain of what we've already experienced of my epic failure and attach that associate that pain to the daily struggle a daily challenge it may be much smaller so you stay far away from it now I recommendation is you do that when you say how you am young remember that that dedication so at the dedication part of things as you as you dedicate your day to your spiritual goal and you think about whatever symptom you want to get better at and whatever you go at that time take a split moment just to recall the sense of pain that you felt you experienced and your worst most epic failure and say wow I really want to ace it today because I wanna have a great life I want to have a pleasurable life and the trick is the same way you did this with negative you could also do this with positive think about your best Mitzvah think about your best success think about the pleasure brought you and the same way you have your s I thought you could have a verse on Mitzvah and associate that with this satisfaction of what you're trying to achieve Wow when I remember that one time like I really succeeded no I'll just say about this morning I had a really hard time waking up this morning I went to sleep was about 2 o'clock in the morning and I have to wake up early for sleepless you know what I did I got out of bed and it may sound simple to you but I feel great I feel great you use that feeling of satisfaction to encourage yourself think about a huge success and use that to inspire yourself to attach itself to your smaller successes so let's upgrade our regret and our satisfaction exercise when you're ready for it I don't recommend trying this right away though if you mention in the beginning but after you kind of get used this a little bit upgraded and achieve the level of yourself at an office a mitzvah so we could be like that sadiq in the Gemara mustafa so go document base and and just defeat to say it's a Harlequin ain't no thing come join us send your email to dr. center at gmail.com join the spiritual you to hablar [Music] [Applause]