Are You Using Your Mind or Defending Your Desires?

There is a wisdom that knows how to ask what is proper to ask for, what is right to ask for. Our sages say that the blessing we most need to concentrate on in the Amidah is, "You graciously grant man knowledge." A person will use all his strengths, all his abilities as an outgrowth of what is in his heart. "Guard your heart above all else, for from it flows life," says King Solomon. A person can use all the power of his mind and his conduct to justify what his heart decided to do long ago. If a person is selling, 1 + 1 = 3. If he is buying, 1 + 1 = 1 and 1/2. In other words, a person will bend reality to fit what his heart wants. The mind keeps working, but it no longer sits in the judge's seat. It becomes the defense attorney for desire, for feeling, for emotion. Instead of illuminating the person's path, it provides the person with all sorts of reasons why it is worth continuing to walk in the darkness. This is the aspect of the beast within me.