A Jew Will Always Be A Jew: Gateway to Judaism - Rabbi Mordechai Becher

Judaism is more of a family or a nation than a religion. So in other words, even if a person strays very far away from Judaism, technically they're still Jewish. A Jew, even though he has sinned, is still Jewish. Even a lapsed Jew is still Jewish. And what that means is still obligated in everything in Judaism, but Jewish he still is. [Music] and welcome to Torah Talks Kazak's program with special guests. We have with us all the way from Pis, New Jersey, our dear friend. Welcome. How are you? Thank you very much. Pleasure to be here. Thank you for inviting me once again at the Khazak headquarters and we're going to be speaking about the rabbi's famous book, Gateway to Judaism, the what, how, and why of Jewish life. But before we get to that topic, we got a little background and met the rabbi and the good work, great work that the rabbi does. So, how far back do you want to go? Like when the earth cooled or or after the comet when you So, uh I've been living in Pose now for about uh 25 years. Oh, wow. So, basically when you were born. Uh I um teach at Yeshiva University full-time in the Torah department. Um and uh we have a program JSS which is for guys who have limited or no background in Judaism uh from guys from all over the world literally. Um and uh so I teach for them. I also teach in another program at YU called IBC Isaac Buer College which is for guys who have a background but want a broader curriculum than just Gamara right teach for them as well. Um, I am I do a kabura small short class once a week on Jewish philosophy for the guys in the more advanced program in the Yeshua part of the YU. And next semester I'll be teaching a course in the history department on um blood liels, torturing the host, and other anti-semitic conspiracy theories. Wow. A fun course. Yes. Wow. Wow. I know the rabbi is also involved with Nik. Yes. Uh my wife and I are the rabbi and rebbitson of the Nv alumni. So that means when women come back from Nvish lang which is a college uh post seminary yeah seminary for women in Jerusalem um and they come back to the states. So we help them out with I answer their I try to answer their uh questions in Jewish law, Jewish philosophy. my wife and I try to help also with with marriage, with dating, with other aspects of their lives. And um I also do uh Shabbaton. I speak in various locations uh a whole bunch of them last year. I don't remember Richmond, Virginia um and Oland Park, Kansas and uh Baltimore and Chicago and all over the place. Travis I do. And I work also for Legacy Kosha Tours in the summer where I am historian and tour guide for Legacy Kosher Tours. We do we've been to about I don't know 25 countries uh Asia all over Asia, China, Singapore, South Korea, Japan, um India, etc. We uh we've done Morocco, Egypt, Tanzania, Zimbabwe, Botswana, South Africa, Australia, Panama, etc. So that's my summer gig. Um, what else do I do? I I am I'm actually working working on a doctorate now uh in history, medieval Jewish history, uh, which is takes a little time. Um, going very slowly on that. And, uh, you know, I have a family, thank God. Two of two of my sons fought in Gaza and Lebanon over the past year. one was wounded and recovered and went back after wound being wounded and so they were just here and uh so that's been it's a bit of a rough year for for all of the Jewish people uh understandable and uh very impressive that's pretty good that's it I think you just sleep in Pik everything everything else is all over the world unbelievable very inspiring you know I actually the Torah talks I actually like the the first question a lot you know because it's so interesting to know a little background the rabbi people just know, hey, Rabbi Becker just gives lectures, right? No, there's so much more to that as we see. So, Rabbi, if you could uh uh, you know, everyone has in their own definition of what it means to be a Jew. What is the proper definition of being a Jew? So, the question has really two I I I'd imagine there's two components to the question. Uh, which is technically what is a Jew is not such a difficult question. uh historically and according to Jewish law, a Jew has always been defined by matrineal descent. Uh I mean if you look in the book of Ezra, Jews came back from Babylon to Israel after the exile to rebuild the temple. And Ezra tells the Jew, a lot of the Jews who came back were fairly assimilated, not very knowledgeable. Fascinating. But they came back to Israel anyway. Wow. and uh they wanted to rebuild the temple in Jerusalem. Ezra told them, he says, "Those of you who are married to non-Jews, you've got to divorce or, you know, put aside your non-Jewish wives and children in order to to participate in the building of the temple." Now, that indicates that the children too are not Jewish, right? That's not the primary source sources in the Torah itself. But the Torah itself in the Bible, five books of Moses, numerous places, Torah tells us that there is an idea that the father defines the tribe. You're a Cohen, a Ley, etc. The mother defines one's Jewishness, what we call natural descent. Uh the other method of definition of a Jew is by someone converting to Judaism. And conversion also has a historical and a legal precedent for thousands of years. Generally um conversion is really a reenactment of Mount Si. Jews came to Sinai, accepted the Torah, had the revelation and then we became technically Jewish. Until that time we were descendants of the patriarchs and the matriarchs, not technically Jewish. So what happened at Sinai? A, we unconditionally accepted the Torah. So every convert must unconditionally accept the Torah. Secondly, the men had circumcision. And thirdly, we all purified ourselves. Technically, he did that in the desert. I'm not going to get into it, but we all went through purification. So for all generations, and I'm pretty much paraphrasing my monities here, for all generations, every person who wants to join the Jewish people has to go through type of a mini Mount Si experience. Uh man has to be circumcised. They have to immerse in the mikvah. Men and women um immerse in the mikvah, Jewish ritual bath and purify themselves and unconditionally accept the Torah and and God. And because it's Sinai, the Jews did this in the presence of God and his representative Moshe Moses for all generations. It must be done with a repres with a authorized representatives of the Jewish people i.e. a duly constituted bakedin or Jewish court of three rabbis. Um without going into the technical details that really has been conversion now there are other conditions that the person has to be sincere and so on and so forth but really the the sinquanon of conversion the primary focus is the acceptance of the Torah unconditionally. So that's if you wanted to define Jew would be in one of those two ways. Sometimes it can become confusing. We've had Jewish communities who've been out of contact with the rest of the Jewish world for thousands of years. The most famous, the Ethiopian Jews. So, Jews of Ethiopia um were pretty much out of contact with much of the Jewish world for a long time. The first real contact was in 15th century, 16th century Egypt. uh a Jew there who actually I mean this was common at the time remember 16th century slave trade he bought a woman as a slave in Egypt Jewish man religious Jewish man falls in love with her when she eventually learns Arabic she says she's Jewish well he is stunned and not only is she Jewish says I'm married so this this pretty much puts an end to his uh his his his romantic intentions Uh so um he asked the chief rabbi of Egypt of David Ben Zimra who was known as the Rais it's Arabic means the head of the Jewish community and prolific writer responsor wealthy businessman brilliant Torah scholar had a yeshiva one of his students you may have heard of Isaac Laura the Arizal course student of the Radvas Radvas wrote literally thousands of responsor and this man asked the Radvas the Radvas did some investigation first of all he found out that the woman's husband was dead, which was obviously bad news for her and the husband, but good news for this man, you know. So, I mean, every story has it, you know, okay, I don't mean to be callous, but that was the case. Um, and secondly, the Radvas said that she is indeed Jewish and that the Ethiopian Jews are descendants of the tribe of Dan who were exiled early on uh by the Assyrians, the lost 10 tribes you've heard of, most of them probably assimilated. If some there are scholars who maintain that some of the Afghanistan tribes are descended from the lost 10 tribes. Uh, so if some Taliban fundamentalist Muslim Taliban wakes up in his goats hair tent in the middle of the night with a craving for gap filterfish, it is because he has Jewish jeans. Ashkanazi Jewish jeans, obviously. In any case, be that as it may, the Radvas maintain that yes, she is Jewish. They I guess they married and lived happily ever after. I have no idea. Um, but in any case, uh, this that was first raised way back then. Hundreds of years later, the state of Israel and a very famous operation with Msad and other agencies of the Jewish state brought tens of thousands of Ethiopian Jews who were being persecuted in Ethiopia living in abject poverty. Brought them to Israel. Right. There was a movie about it, not a very good movie, um but um called the Red Sea Diving Resort I think about the operation was uh involved with he was. Yes. So when they came to Israel, Rabavatya Ysef was the chief spar rabbi of the state of Israel and he quoting Radvas and other sources Eldadani etc etc also came to the conclusion that the Ethiopian Jews were indeed Jewish and one of the lost tribes so to speak. Um there are Ashkanazi uh um authorities, hakic authorities um who maintain that they should go through some type of stringency conversion as so to speak a just in case conversion but on the whole and and interestingly the Ethiopian Jews have integrated extremely well into the state of Israel much better than many other immigrants. It's like very very interesting um uh in all levels. In fact, I just just read that a the uh um appointed as head of the Assuta Hospital um is an Ethiopian uh Jew a doctor who was a military surgeon for years very high ranking in the IDF and he's now head of the hospital and you know so in any case so that's as far as what is a Jew and there are no other definitions a person might want to say and and there are movements reform some lesser degree conservative who who wanted to say well we accept now patrineal this and But the truth is, not only are they messing with Jewish law, but they are interfering in a historical fact. You know, chess, the game of chess has been played for at least 1,500 years, probably, maybe longer. Let's say I decide that chess is a is a contact sport is how my children used to play it at least. So, you decide that chess is a comment. Now, you uh contact the International Chess Federation. You'd like to play. you're an excellent player and uh you tell them but my version of chess involves actual combat as well. M now if they don't accept you to the federation that's understandable understandable aside from the safety concerns um you are redefining something which has been around for thousands of years in a very definable agreed upon uh form right so same with Judaism what's a Jew now I understand that the question probably was not just about what is a Jew the question probably is what's a good Jew That's a little that's a little more difficult. Take the next one. And and and really, you know, you could be Jewish by birth. Uh the former um archbishop of Paris was Jewish by birth. Um he was brought up by Catholics. His parent, they saved his life. His parents gave him to a Catholic family during the Holocaust in France. Lustiger, I believe his name was if I remember correctly. and um and and uh he stayed Catholic and he became Archbishop of Paris. I think he even put on film once some Kabadnik grabbed him and and was able to do that. But but now is he a good Jew? You know, ultimately that's for God to that's for Hashem. God to to to judge, not my my job. But uh I think someone who is a full-fledged Catholic archbishop, who is loyal to a religion other than Judaism, who believes in ideals which are contradictory to Judaism, who does not practice any of Judaism, it's hard to define such a person as a good Jew, right? Um you might have a you know a Jewish a Jew who is a practicing Buddhist, right? Or a Jew. But so you see it's interesting and this is one of the fascinating differences between Judaism and most religions. You see this cardinal Lustiger is 100% Jewish according to Jewish law. He has a child. Actually he's a Catholic cardinal. That's highly unlikely. But let's say he would have a child. That child with He has a child with a Jewish woman. Let's say um that child's Jewish. Right. Right? She goes to N, she becomes religious, can marry her. Excellent. Right. So, so he's still Jewish because whereas let's say a Catholic who no longer practices Catholicism, does not take communion, doesn't doesn't confess, etc., is not Catholic. Judaism is more of a family or a nation than a religion. So, in other words, even if a person strays very far away from Judaism, technically they're still Jewish. As the Talmud puts it, Israel aish Israel who a Jew even though he has sinned is still Jewish. Is he a good Jew? I don't think so. Right. Uh would I, you know, so would I want to marry such a No. Would I? But but Jewish he still is. So, so even a lapsed Jew is still Jewish. And what that means is still obligated in everything in Judaism. Mymonities in a fascinating letter to Yemen. the Jews of Yemen uh went through a terrible period of time where a lot of oppression by the Muslim regime I think it was the Zahedi I don't remember the name of the regime and um they tried to force a lot of Jews to convert to Islam right and um after the uh after that period was over these Jews you know contacted my monities for guidance and there were rabbis in Yemen who did not want to accept those Jews back to Judaism They said you converted that's it you know harass it's over right says absolutely not these Jews did the wrong thing but they absolutely have to be accepted they are still 100% Jewish and he says even bendatob the evil king who sinned and caused others to sin idolatry murder you you name it right etc um uh going slow in the left lane all the most serious crimes in in right you can imagine right um Yurovam Gerobam Benavadi says even he is obligated to sit in the suka on sukkot to make a blessing on food he's still obligated in all the commandments he's not the type of person I would want as my leader he's not a good but he's still Jewish so so a good Jew and and here it's difficult to say again this is really for Hashem to judge but but you know everyone's tr as I once heard from Rabbi David got he put it this way. He said, "What's the difference between a hypocrite and a human?" He said, "A hypocrite states certain goals and beliefs and makes no attempt to get there. A human has certain goals and beliefs, attempts to get there, and often fails." Failing to achieve my goal, failing to get all the way, that's human. That's normal, right? And so a Jew, we have obligations as Jews. There's obligations. We have we have to try to fulfill those obligations. Um the more of those obligations I fulfill, the greater the quality of my fulfillment, I would say, the better at Jew I am. Um but you know what? I I it's hard for me. We can't judge because I don't know all the pressures that a person has. They failed because of this reason, failed because of that reason. I don't know, right? Maybe one person's potential is so great um or is you know and and they haven't achieved that potential. They may look so much better than us but but they're so far short of their own potential. So there's unique there are two components of oblig there are universal obligations and then there's a unique obligation you have as an individual and and both of those combine to that the attempt and the degree of success you have in fulfilling those is I guess the degree of you being a good person and a good Jew. So that's a little harder to define. We can define the obligations but uh but how far a person long is on those difficult to know. We leave that to God. Absolutely. There was I think an American an American uh colonel in in Afghanistan um who uh a reporter asked him how do you think God will judge the Taliban and this American the American soldier said he says it's not my job to know that it's my job to arrange the meeting. So that's funny. Um, Rabbi, what does it mean to live a Jewish life? I know you brought out beautifully the concept of what makes a Jew, etc. Living a Jewish life. So there are what we call the system of mitzvah, mitzvot 63, 630 commandments. Don't get don't get worried everyone. No one is obligated in all 613 unless you are male, female, single, married, divorce, coin lever, Israel, all simultaneously. Conceivably there are people like that. But but on the whole, most of us are not obligated in all 613. Um the safer famous book goes through all the commandments written in Barcelona Middle Ages. He maintains that of the 613, there are 270 which were obligated in today. Meaning when most Jews are not in Israel, we don't have the full infrastructure of Jewish law. So it's less than half. But still the the mitzvot form the framework of Jewish life, right? They're not the ex that's not all of Jewish life. Jewish life is actually more than that. There are things outside the framework of the commandments. For example, Rubim Vital student of Rabbi Zakura Lura that we mentioned before, student of the Radvas. So Rah Vital writes in one of his books called Shah Kadusha the gates of holiness. He says that you know good character traits personality development are not part of the formal structure of the mitzvah. Mid yeah he says there's no there's no formal commandment that says thou shalt not be arrogant. There is no formal commandment that says don't be a jerk. But isn't it? Well, so his his question is why are they not part of the commandments? So's answer is because they are the prerequisites for the commandments. Exactly. Right. Torah. The Talmud says that basic human decency preceded the Torah by 26 generations. 10ations from Adam to Noah, 10 from Noah to Abraham Abraham, and six from Abraham to Moses. And during that time, what was the development of society? What was what were what were the Jewish people and our ancestors developing? Basic decency. He says once you have basic decency, now you got the framework of the commandments which is built on top of that. So if you'd asked me what's the framework of Jewish life, I would say a be a decent human being. B is you have to fulfill your obligations in terms of the commandment. The commandments I would loosely divide into three sections. This is based on the view of the Maharal Review of Prague 16th century philosopher mystic brilliant Torah scholar in Prague. Um in his commentary on ethics of the chapters of the fathers I don't like that translation pure um in his trans in his commentary there he says that the commandments are divided into three sections and they form really the whole framework of Judaism. What they what are they? Relationship with God, relationship with other people, relationship with your own soul. To God, man to man, man to self. Yeah, I prefer to use person to put but but okay, right. But but um no, I I do that deliberately because I I just I'm sorry to say this, but I think when I've I used to teach rabbis training courses and I would tell them when most rabbis get up in the pulpit and give a sermon and they talk about a Jew, they mean a man. Yeah. How do I know this? They say when a Jew puts on filling, well, hello, half your audience doesn't do that. So, so, so, but so in any case, it's relationship to God, relationship to other people, and relationship to yourself. In Hebrew we say so for example in it says the world stands on three things exactly Torah study of Torah that's a mitzvah between the person and their own soul study of Torah worship of God prayer etc that's between human and God kindness to others between myself and other people. So you can't ignore any of those. Some people are better at some than the others. There are some people are better with God than with other people. There are some people who are better with themselves and so but Judaism obligates us to engage in all three and work on all of them. And uh and during the course of a Jews day, he or she will encounter all of those situations. And sometimes they overlap, right? They're not strict. There's no strict line in between. Uh if I hurt another person, so you know what? They're God's child. So it's also an offense against God. I've also corrupted my own self. It's offense against it. So they two that type of intersh. But but that's that's I think to live a Jewish life means to live a life permeated by a concern where and and how do I know this to I mean can I prove this? But there's a the there's a story in the Talmud in which a gentile it's actually three Gentiles come to the two sages Shama and Hillel. So um one of them comes to Shamay. I'm not going to go through all three but one of them comes to Shamay and he says I'd like to convert to Judaism. It's a subject we were talking about before. Shame says okay sir um you need to learn about Judaism. So the man says I don't have time for that. M teach me teach me Judaism while I'm standing on one foot. Shame kicks him out. Right. Um and uh he then goes to Hillel. And by the way, Shame is correct. Luckily, he speak from a religious Jewish perspective. You come to me, you want to convert to I mean seriously, I I'm an American citizen. You can hear from my accent that I was not born in Brooklyn. I'm from Australia. So when I applied for citizenship in the United States um I had to do a civics test and of course I didn't tell the person listen just ask me one question I don't have time to don't you know this allegiance all that stuff just just come on let's just go I would have been thrown out right I I would now be in El Salvador probably so actually no Trump was not president at the time but anyway so so um uh so some threw him out he came to Hillel I guess Hill saw something in this guy that there was yeah he's yeah um and um Hill said I can do that I'll teach you the Torah on one foot so Hillel said very strange he said I'll quote the Aramaic he said that which is hateful to you don't do unto your friend the rest is commentary go and learn so he says that which is hateful to you, don't do unto your friend. Understand that's very important. That's the whole Torah. And then Hill says something which a lot of people ignore the second half of the statement, right? Which is the rest is commentary. Go and learn. Now, how on earth is not eating lobster a commentary on that which is hateful to you to your friend? I unless your best friend is a salamander or a lobster, right? Famous song. But but I mean, how how does that work? So Rashi already one of the great commentaries on the Talmud lived from 10:40 to 11:05 in France Romyaki Rashi says friend he says doesn't only mean your fellow human he says God is also called our friend your friend and the friend of your father we sing one of the most beautiful songs you did nephesh you did means Beloved of the soul. God is the beloved of the soul. So Rashi already says when Hillel says that which is hateful unto you don't do unto your friend. By friend he means your fellow human and God. Ramos Lazato the Ram Khal who born in Padawa in the 1700s in Italy. One of the great cabalist philosophers. Amazing. So the rabbi is a historian. I teach history. It's amazing. So Loato um he has a one of his books in his many many books um being the most that's the most famous Mr. and path of the just derashem. There are books that we don't have of his but um one of his books is is the 138 openings into wisdom and there he says that you know what you have another friend in addition to God in addition to other people which is your own soul. So if we if we put Rashi and Ramos Lazato into Hill's statement what has said are you want to be you want to be a good Jew while standing on one foot. What does that mean? That which is hateful unto you, don't do unto your friend. Who's your friend? God, your fellow human being, and yourself. The rest, the whole Torah, Hill was saying, is a commentary on that idea. The whole Torah is a commentary on that beautiful everything. Everything. So, so that's I would think it's a long answer to a short question. Very, very, very powerful. Very powerful, Rabbi. Really enjoyed it. Um, why why is it important, one may ask, to keep all the mitzvot? And on top of the question is people might think like why is it so important all the details of all the mitzvah for example rabba you put on the right one the right shoe then you put on the left shoe then you tie the left shoe and then you tie the right shoe. Yeah. Which technically is not a mitzvah but nevertheless right it is it is common practice but but the question is a good question you know. Um yeah. Yeah. So uh and and you know there the midrash asked this question the midrash which is a ancient rabbitic text dating back to around the time of the mission there the 60 different collections but I refer here to the midrash rabba which is the most famous of the midrashim it says regarding the the uh the the law of kosher slaughter how to kill an animal in the correct kosher way. So there it says why does God care if you slaughter the animal from the front of the neck by cutting the uh the the trachea the esophagus kura jugula etc or from the back of the neck through the spine so that has less pain for the animal that's not what the midrash says interesting that that is a rationale that people give but the midrash's answer is he says the midrash says it says the mitzvot were given not to benefit for God, not because God is affected one way or the other, but in order to refine humanity. So you are correct. Yes, there is less pain for the animal that way. So that means if I do it, if I'm careful to do things in a way that causes less pain to a living creature, that makes me a better person. If I'm a better person, I'm closer and have a better relationship with God. So that's what is so so what the medish is saying is if you want to look for a rationale or a reason behind the commandments and the details don't look for how it affects God because it doesn't affect God. God was is will be is eternal. My actions don't affect him don't harm him. Don't help him. Who is affected? I am and the world is affected. So and details are important. Details are important. sometimes we don't always see how important they are but as a famous architect once said I I don't remember the exact who he was but apparently um he was designing a museum and in part of the plans that he submitted there was also design for the cutlery and crockery in the museum cafeteria and and one of the members of the committee says seriously and he said God is in the details he I want this to be one harmonious hole you Look at the you take you order food in the museum cafeteria the theme of the museum is reflected in the even and now I I would I agree with him and I think the themes of Judaism are reflected even every action we do the action affects the inner person the actions are um it's mindfulness eating supposed to be mindful so I'm hungry I walk along and say bea hungry becca eat no the first Becca hungry. Becca decides is this kosher? Is this not kosher? I then decide meat milk. Have I eaten milk recent? Mil meat recently. Can I have milk? I then make another decision. What is the blessing on this? In other words, what it does is it puts a little break on instinct and says, "Whoa, whoa, slow down, man. Right. Let's let's think about things." So, you mentioned putting on shoes. So, you're right. It's not technically one of the commandments, but we put our right. Why do we why do we give preference to the right? So generally we have a in in in in in the Talmud and and and in Jewish mysticism there is an idea that there are different ways in which God runs the world modalities of God's interaction with the world that we are we call siriroat and the sodat are associated they're they're arranged um in in such a way that they they associated with different parts of the body and different aspects ects of history and and different biblical characters. There's there's many many layers of that. On a very simple level, the right side is generally associated with what we call is expansion, giving, kindness, kindness. The left side is associated with what's called gvura, contraction, holding back, judgment, strength. Now, as I'm sure you're aware, we would might look at it like kindness is the green light. But if and and without a green light, you're not going anywhere. But on the other hand, if it's always green lights, there'll be chaos. Right? Gura, stopping, holding back is obviously essential. Without it, there'd be chaos. But if there's only the chaotic that if there's only the holding back stopping, no one's going anywhere. So an ideal parent, right, like myself for example, but ideal parent will try to balance between, right? Yes. As you know, the the the and have a balance between giving and taking so on and so forth. God does the same thing. But in our lives, what should if if if I'm as a parent, as a spouse, as a teacher, as an employer, as an employee, which should be which should be more important, ascendant, primary, kindness or holding back? Our answer is kindness. So, as a reminder of that idea, we try to emphasize the right hand. Put on the right shoe first, right? You wash the right hand first. Yeah, it's not nothing's going to happen. You know what I mean? The hand's not going to wither away if I don't do that, right? I'm not going to trip on my shoelaces if I don't do that. That's nothing to do with that. It's not a it's not some type of magic, right? It's very simply a way of reminding us that, you know, when I go out into I put my shoes on in the morning. It's one of the first things you do. Although, I'm just pointing out to our listeners, first your socks, then your shoes. But but but nevertheless, I don't want to cause any accidents. But but but before we go out into life and walk around the world, I put on my shoe. You know, one of the lessons I have to keep my keep in mind, I put it on said kindness is first. Kindness is primary, right? So that's that's that's I think that would be an example and that's just one example. I mean every one of and one of the things I try to do in my book gateway to Judaism that was a plug is I try to explain the rationale the reasoning the ideas behind the various details of Jewish law that we that we fulfill but they all have something behind them in in in that way that's what the rabbi is saying and the tying to the left is because we tie the kina on the left side so you get kasha to the left that's why the left comes first and the right and and and it's interesting we we you mentioned that we that we uh that we put on fillain and we tie it on the left hand. So, so in other words, that's by the way that's a similar lesson. We are restraining the restraint, so to speak. The left hand, which indicates strength, uh which indicates the idea of holding back, pushing away, so to speak, that's also tied up with the with the uh tying tulin on it is a way of saying that that the the power of distancing and the power of saying no, etc. should be inherently tied up only with the performance of holiness and mitzvah. Beautiful. So, so there was Raasha Feinste was not I believe it's said in the name of the Kazon ish aamish Carellit 1950s beneak who who said that that you can only you only have the right to punish your child if you're doing it for their benefit. M if anytime you are punishing the child cuz you're in a bad mood or because you're angry, frustrated or upset, he says that's that's that's basically an offense against another human being. Right? Your rights over the child are are completely proportional to the degree to which you are fulfilling your obligations towards the child. So the left hand of of perhaps din of judgment and so on has to be tied in to to to to kadusha to holiness to mitzvah. Wow. Very very very powerful rack. Love it very very very much. And I want to give a real plug to the book gateway to Judaism available in all local Judeica stores at least I hope and and Amazon Amazon online. And uh all that you're hearing over here is based out of the book rabbi more or less. Um a lot of it a lot of it I mean yeah I I do lectures and uh you know um feel free to try to book me if you would like contact me. Rabbi travels around the world earlier. You can contact me via Kazak. Yes. Um but uh also I'm I have a website which I'm going which is going to go live soon. What is it? Uh it's it's rabbibecker.com. Beth B C H E R.com C O M very easy to very easy to remember rabbibetha.com and that will have all the information a lot of lectures and ways to contact me and the book and uh and you know I've got I've got 320 or so lectures on Torah anytime and I have this talk will be on time I have a few hundred on why you Torah I have a bunch on simple to remember so it's all free except for the book I want to add something. The rabbi mentioned the website.com. We were talking about the details before and a person forgets the dot in the in the email or or it's not going to go through. So the details can be very important. Absolutely. We see. So Rabbi, we have a min we have a custom Torah talks is one final message for for our broad audience. Everything you said so far are gems and we appreciate and love it very much. You know, it's hard to hard to give one final message. Um but something I've been thinking about recently uh is something which is um I was asked by a good friend uh what I think is missing in the in 21st century society that was something that people may have had in the times of our parents, grandparents, etc. Interesting question. Yeah. Um and I think one I I came up with a few ideas but one of them I think is the concept of dignity cavod dignity honor you know is so central to Judaism. The sense of selfrespect dignity is one of the most central ideas. My teacher Ramosha Shapiro said that he heard from his father who heard from the Rashifra of Tels in Europe that if you could take away from a person every shred of dignity of kavod they'd either go insane or die. Well, how essential it is. The the Rraia Halevi who was a sage from Lunell in Provence. So he wrote a commentary on on a commentary on the Talmud. Um it's called the Ma Hakatan, small light, which is of course Hebrew for lunl which is where it came from. But um he begins his commentary with the following statement. He says in many places in the written Torah, Torah prophets and writings, the soul is called honor. It's one of the names of the soul is honor. And he explains as does Rabeno Bakai that that is because the human being the soul has its origins in so to speak the divine throne. So we have a sense of dignity and that is one of the greatest barriers against sin is that is that this is beneath me. It's beneath me. I can I I'm not an expert in um Tik Tok or YouTube. Thank God. But based on what I've seen, I don't think anything dignified ever goes viral. You know, I it's highly unlikely. Anything going viral is probably the antithesis of dignity. People dress in a way that has no sense of personal dignity. They'll just I feel like what I don't even want to mention, right? But just insanity in in a sense of they don't understand the idea of human cavod people will act in such a way that that you know and and I think one of the central lessons that at least raises Shapiro and this is from what they call the school of slabodka one of the three great schools of of ethics based on the teachings of salant from Lithuania 19th century. Yes. So, so there were one school was Naradok that emphasized the humility and loneliness of the human being. There was Kelm which emphasized equinimity and calm. Sloka focused on the greatness of the human being. We to the people have to realize that our potential is is almost infinite. We have the power of free will. We have the power to change ourselves and through that the world. We have the power to come close to God. The human being is so incredibly great and powerful and and that should be something central that we need to at least I feel that we should think of. There's a verse that actually describing humans the verse in Psalms. He is a little less than God adorned with glory and honor. That's the human being. If we could live up to that, the world would be a better place. But that's certainly, I think, central to Torah. And uh that was one of the teachings of Sabodka, which actually created many many great Jewish leaders, maybe more than any other issue. I I don't know, haven't done a statistical analysis. Um but uh but it it had a tremendous impact. And part of that was the encouragement of people's understanding of the greatness of the self, not to be arrogant, right? Because we always learned that honor like is something you should be shy away from. Well, yeah. So, so again, um the Mishna tells us who is honored, one who can bestow honor upon others. But if you can bestow honor and dignity upon others, that means within you there is a sense of of honor of what is true respect and dignity and honor which doesn't which doesn't create arrogance but it creates a way of behaving that is a that that is somewhat a barrier against sin against doing the wrong thing. Meaning the person holds themselves such a high level. Mhm. Oh, I'm so high. How could I do an a how can I do a sin? Yeah. This is this is beneath me. In the same way as uh you know um I don't know an adult would not behave like a 5-year-old right beneath their dignity doesn't mean I'm arrogant. Do you think the olden days they had more of a I I hard to know but that's my impression from from people that I have met right uh from previous generation generation ago two generations ago there was a greater feeling of that you know of that idea that I have a I have a purpose I have a certain innate importance dignity so how does one build that sense of more dignity there are There are texts in Jewish tradition that focus on that. Uh one of them is by the um of the altar of of Sodka actually um who um rafinkle it's called yeah Adam the greatness of the person and when you read classic works you mentioned Masilarim derashem these works emphasize that and and they do talk about that um and I think that's and and and part of halaka is also emphasizing that when when you observe Jewish law, a lot of that also helps to give you a sense of of dignity, right? That there's things that I won't eat. Now, you know, a uh a religious Jew that most food that's out there will not eat. That's I don't I don't have to I'm walking past the cafeteria. I am able to say no. That's part of that is dignity. That's self-control. Right. Right. Shabbat. every every Jew on Shabbat, right? We stop we stop working, right? We dress regally. We dress in a in a we we act regally. We we don't run, we walk. I don't have to get involved in in traffic and parking and we we we live right every seventh day. We become royalty. That teaches Shabbat teaches us how to that's what we are. That's that in other words, Shabbat is who I really am. the rest of the week it's not the real me. Someone once asked the lab rebi they said during the 10 days of repentance between rashashana and the day of atonement yonupur there are customs to be stringent in certain areas. So someone said to the Labavasher Rebi, he says, "I feel like I'm masquerading during that time." Like, "Who am I fooling? That's not right." The Lavashbi says, "On the contrary," he says. He says, "The real you is the guy who's doing all of that special stuff during the 10 days of repentance. The one the fake you, the masquerade, that's the rest of the year." Beautiful way of looking at a classic classic to change from Rashana to Yum Kipper. There was another saying that you should change from Yumiper to Rashashana, not 10 days. But that's correct. Correct. But but but the idea I think Shabbat is the that's the real me. Beautiful. It's the real me. There's nothing like Shabbat. I always tell people and that's a great way of of of creating that sense of dignity and and royalty really. Now no bless oblige. Excuse my pronunciation of the French. Not but but nobility obligates. So if I am noble I mean I'm obligated. That's a good thing. It is a good thing. Well I never interesting. Very interesting. So that's the school of thought for Slabatka to have and and my Rebi Raosha Shapiro was from that school and that's hence that's a that's a good way I think of ending powerful powerful Torah talk a gateway to Judism the what how and why of Jewish life we went through it all I loved every moment of it I'm sure you did as well please make sure to share and forward this amazing Torah talk with all your family friends and neighbors We want to thank the rabbi once again for coming and giving giving us inspiration. Special thanks to the various different platforms that host Kazak to our talks. A shout out once again to our friends at Torah Anytime. Also a special thank you to our friends at Daily Giving. A dollar a day goes a very far away. I just spoke to Dr. Donut yesterday with coming up with ideas to take it to the next level. So if you're not a daily giver yet, we encourage you to be part of it and think to the entire Kazak team and staff not behind the camera and the entire office over here working man day and night changing the world, making the world a better place. We want to do a lot more and nobody could do everything, everybody could do something. So uh so please get involved and uh reach out to us info.infochq.org. Amen. Thank you very much for having me. [Music]