A Heavenly Sign: My Shabbat Story - Rabbi Yitzchak Botton

after a few years of learning on my own in my own space without ever really visiting yeshiva so i started to realize the absolute truth and purpose behind the way of the torah and i started to put on fill in and pray and talk to hashem and eventually i also took on shabbos shabbat and it was an amazing experience because i remember deciding that that's it it's time for me to to make my first shabbat in my own house here i was in new jersey at the shore and i said i got to do my own shabbat and i remember going shopping buying food simple food to make my shabbos meal have some fish have some meat and i remember at home setting up the table and preparing the different foods i bought making a small salad whatever i had and it dawned on me as i was preparing the food i'm like you know i'm all by myself shop is all alone and i said you know what my brothers are here in the same town in new jersey with me how amazing would it be if i could bring them and share this friday night meal together with me and so i set up plates for me and for my brothers and then i said you know what there's room for one more plate on the table you know it's always a big thing to bring a shabbos guest to your house this my first shop is in this house my first house i was renting an apartment i said you know what hashem yazoo maybe i'll also be zoka to bring a shabbos guest there was one person anyway that was in the city that kept shabbat i said you know maybe i'll bump into him and invite him lo and behold i went for a walk past the places of business where my brothers actually unfortunately worked at the time you know again we come from a non-religious family and i bumped into each brother and amazingly although it was a very busy weekend and they were all very pressured with work they all decided to take the time off to come and have the dinner with me so here i was with my brothers three brothers and myself and on our way home who do we bump into we bump into ari the name of this special friend of ours that was the only one other than myself in the entire town that kept shabbat we bumped into him and of course he also obliged and came over so here we were at the table all of us making kiddish and having this humble meal and i said to myself it's unbelievable i turned to hashem and i said hashem please if i can have my brothers and have the table and fulfill the mitzvah having a guest how amazing it would be and i feel like hashem was there with me on that shop is answering my prayers and making sure things work out in a way that i should know that i'm not alone that hashem is with me even though i'm by myself and even though i'm struggling even though i'm just a simple jew that just started to become religious and i have a history that is the opposite of following hashem's ways you're with hashem and hashem is instantly with you i would like to connect my story with an idea i heard about the model ani prayer that we say every morning you know it's interesting we say that prayer even while we're impure immediately when we wake up though we're still in pure we say that moda ani and what message it has for us a beautiful message is that even if we're not pure even if we are far from hashem even if we've fallen the instant that you wanna be with hashem hashem is instantly with you and that's how i felt back then in my time when i was searching for hashem and hashem said to me through those signs that he sent me i am here with you [Music]