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5 Calamities of The 17th of Tamuz - 5 Symptoms of Trauma: Parshas Pinchas - Rabbi YY Jacobson
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good morning everybody and welcome
today's class is dedicated by Dr Michael
and Liz Michelle in loving memory
of Rabbi no
Michelle in honor of his ninth yard site
on the 18th day of
Tas he fled the kic city of uh tarov in
Poland in
1939 as a young teenager
where his community was destroyed he was
exiled to Siberia made it to America and
dedicated 60 years here to educating and
inspiring Jewish children's and families
in mon was one of the
founding fathers right do you remember
huh your
principal yeah one of the founding
pillars of this community here
in and may his memory
remain an eternal source of light
blessing and inspiration to the entire
family and to the entire community and
to all of the Jewish people and we
should have the Fulfillment of
a thank you very very
much so everybody knows that today in
the Jewish calendar marks what we call
shivas the 13th the 17th day of the
month of tamas and it
begins the era or the period known as
the 3 weeks that continue for 21 days
from the 17th of tamos throughout tab
the nth of
of in the First Source sheet in the
First Source in your Source sheet we
have the source in the mishna for what
happened on this day and let's take a
look inside because we're going to go
through these five
things and understand their deeper
significance
so this is a mishna in
trus track dedicated to fasts it's the
fourth chapter P mishna you have it both
in the Hebrew and in the
English the mishna says as
follows it wants to understand why this
day has been established as a communual
fast day for the Jewish people what
happened so he gives the history
[Music]
five things five calamities occurred to
our forefathers to our ancestors on the
17th of tamas and another five things
another five calamities occurred on the
ninth of of and because of these five
events on each of these days it's been
established as a day of remembering a
day of commemoration and a day of
fasting for those who can and he goes
through the five things B
on the 17th day ofas which is today
number
one the the tablets were broken and this
is of course referring to the
story in
in in the book of Exodus and it's the
story of it's very hot no should we put
on the
air okay it's a story in the book
of
where the Jewish people stood at sign
they receive the Ten
Commandments God reveals himself face to
face and then mha goes up to the
mountain for 40 days 40 nights and in
his absence they build What's called the
agel the golden calf and this was on the
16th of tamos mosha came down on the
17th of tamos and when he saw the idol
that was created the statue the golden C
that was created he broke the L he broke
the tablets the tablets the L had within
them in engraved the the 10 sayings The
Ten Commandments and M breaks them
that's what he says these were broken
they were shattered that was event
number one on the 17th of thas event
number
[Music]
two but means the daily offering was
nullified by the Roman authorities and
never sacrificed again what is this
referring to in the bikes in the
Sanctuary first in the mishkan in the
desert and then in the b mikdash in the
Holy Temple in Jerusalem in Yus there
were many offerings that were brought
animal offerings and also meal offerings
made from grain but the most consistent
one was called the T Ted means always
Perpetual consistent right tamid tamid
means forever because this was a daily
offering that was brought in the morning
and in the afternoon every single day
365 days a year seven days a week Sunday
through shabas regular days festive
days no difference this was T and we say
it actually many say it in the morning
before they start daving in the carbus
and the offerings we speak
about there's a sheep a lamb in the
morning a lamb in the afternoon this is
called T because it was Perpetual it was
consistent on this
day this routine was nullified it was
obliterated the authorities did not
allow allow the Jewish people to do it
anymore and for the first time the Ted
came to a halt that happened on the 17th
day of
thas event number
[Music]
three the city walls were breached hka
means
breached ha is the city you the old city
of Jerusalem had a it had a fortress it
had a wall surrounding it protecting it
on this day the Romans managed to breach
the wall they still didn't destroy the
city but once the wall is breached now
they have breached broken into the wall
is a very powerful wall and it provided
tremendous protection from an enemy and
they besieged it for a very very long
time in fact The Siege began months
earlier on the 10th day of Tavis which
is also a fast day and the reason it's a
fast day is because that's when The
Siege actually
began so from the 10th of Tavis you have
shat niss SAS it was more than a half a
year past and finally after a long Siege
of more than a half a year where nobody
was allowed to go in nobody was allowed
to come out because they surrounded the
city they finally managed to breach the
wall on the 17th of tamas from here it
took 3 weeks until they burnt the bik
that would be 3 weeks later but once the
wall was breached now the Roman Legions
the Roman troops had access to go into
the City and ultimately Reach the
harabas the Temple Mount and burn the
bdes so that's the third thing that
happened on the 17th day of Tas it was
breached number four
the a general by the name of
apus publicly burnt the Tyra he took a
Tyra scroll to say
and he publicly burnt it also on the
17th of thas number
five a fif thing that happened was and
this happened actually by manasha
manasha was one of the kings of the he
was a Jewish King the son ofia M manasha
he placed a salum he took a salum which
is an idol a pagan Idol of idolatry and
he didn't just worship it he put it into
the the was the inner roofed sanctuary
of the B M right before the holy of
holies where the daily incense was burnt
and the Mana the Candelabra was lit and
the inner a of the was done and he
brought a Sal of this Pagan Idol into
the in order to worship it this he also
did on the 17th day of Tas so the mishna
and
SM enumerates five historic five
calamities that occurred in Jewish
history on this day and because of all
these five events
the sages and the prophets established
it the prophets and the sages
established it as a communual and public
fast day of the Jewish people which as
we know is observed till today thousands
of years later so again the first thing
is the lus were broken and that's of
course number one because it's also the
first in terms of chronology because
this already happens right after the
Jewish people receive the even before
they enter the second thing he says is
the tmid the daily offering came to a
halt and it was nullified number three
the walls of the city of Y were breached
number four Aus burns the T number five
Masha places AUM a pagan Idol in the
then he goes into the five things that
happened on Tish another five things on
the nth of of which is the reason that
that was created as a fast day that's
not going to be our Focus today but I'll
just read it so you get the full picture
of this mishna and he says on the first
thing that happened
was there was decreed on our ancestors
that they would all perish in the
wilderness and not enter into the land
this was after the debacle of the spies
the second thing is the first bikes is
destroyed number three the second B
Mikes is destroyed number four betar is
conquered by the Romans and defeated
this was the last stronghold of bar and
his armies after the destruction of the
second base 60 years later he staged a
revolt against the Romans and the last
stronghold was beter and beter was
conquered and defeated and the last
thing is he says which means the city of
Jerusalem was completely plowed it
wasn't just the homes were destroyed or
burned but the whole city was plowed as
a symbol that it would never be rebuilt
again and that's the fifth thing that
happened on
T now it's interesting that when the
mishna mentions five things that
happened on the 17th day of tamas you
would think that it would mention it in
chronological order but it does not the
first thing is that the were broken
that's chronological order but then the
second thing is that the carbon tmid was
nullified that happens in the bik then
the third thing is that the city was
breached and the burns the andha who
lived during the first Bas of M put AUM
in the so in terms of History the events
are mixed up so obviously he's referring
to a certain pattern of the events
progressing not in terms of chronology
because it doesn't follow the
chronological order but in terms of
themes and this brings us into really
understanding what these five events are
about on one level you could think it's
just five bad things that happen
really tragic historic events that occur
to the Jewish
people but they were obviously extremely
significant to the point that they were
chose this day became chosen as the
beginning of the three weeks and a fast
day so it's not just five tragic events
but five events that represent the
beginning of a new era they represent a
unique level of Destruction they
represent the ushering in of days of
sadness of the three weeks and that's
why these five events are singled out
because of what they represent and
because of that it's in a particular
order now when you look at it you could
look at it in two ways you could see it
simply as events that happen in
history or there's a deeper way of
looking at it and that is events that
reflect patterns that exist in every
person's life and that's what we're
going to address today everything in t
could be understood always on a level of
goof and on a level of
n the Z says in every part of T there's
the body and there's the soul just like
in a human being when you understand
things on the level of the body you
understand it more from a physical
concrete P perspective when you
understand it on the level of a soul you
go back to the root of the symptoms to
the source
we all know in a person when a person is
suffering whether it's physical illness
or emotional there's always looking at
the
symptoms which is good and very very
important and is even alleviating the
symptoms but it doesn't necessarily deal
with the underlying cause of the pain I
don't have to say to explain it to this
educated and sophisticated and
enlightened Crown enlightened audience
some of you well-versed in the area of
healing that sometimes you know even
Professional Medical practitioners are
good with symptoms but not with causes
because to know the causes you have to
have a whole sometimes a whole different
set of uh a whole different appreciation
and understanding that people may not be
trained in so people see things from
their perspective and it's very valuable
and sometimes it's life-saving and
extremely valuable but sometimes I'm
only seeing the tip of the iceberg and
when I see the tip of the iceberg that
may be sticking out of the water so very
that's what hits the Titanic and it's
important to address it but the tip of
the iceberg is only a tip of the iceberg
and the entire Iceberg may be miles long
but the problem is it's underwat so
nobody sees it even the tip of the
iceberg that was on top of the water
they didn't
see but when it's under the water it's
very hard to see so that's why the Z
says in everything in there's the body
and there's the soul there's the Goof
and there the Goof is the element that's
revealed it's concrete it's physical
it's practical and it's extremely
important a soul without a body can't do
anything can't live but on the other
hand a body without a soul is missing
its life force its inner animation its
vitality and therefore it's
vivaciousness it's depth it's it's pus
the same is true with t t has two
Dimensions they're one like a soul and a
body they become one but one is what you
would call nigla of Tyra the revealed
body of T the concrete manifestation of
T and then you have the soul of T
everything has an underlying inner
Rhythm an inner theme that connects to
the inner core of the human emotion of
the human life force of human drives of
human
growth and of human challenges together
it's a full picture because we know if I
address only the symptoms without the
root causes the
symptoms oops thank you Jim how do we do
this okay is it better now
okay maybe make it a little
lower
oopsie okay this might be good fine you
can hear in the back now yes okay thank
you is make it a little lower the volume
or
no where's the
source so just make it a little lower
that way
[Music]
where's the speaker what is it what is
it because of
this this I can't take care of because
that maybe just make it
[Music]
lower
[Music]
uhhuh maybe I'll just speak louder
oopsie
[Music]
okay now it's not so easy to look at the
pus to look at their Roots because that
requires sometimes a level of courage
and a level of
awareness that is hard to cultivate and
sometimes even if a person wants to they
may simply not have the toolbox to be
able to go to those places cuz those are
very very deep places so my whole life I
could be chasing the symptoms and I go
from one this from one one remedy to
another remedy to another I'm speaking
up
your up your alley I can go to one thing
and another thing and may be sometimes
very very helpful and if it's working
for somebody that's
amazing but very often we all know that
things persist because as long as I
don't tackle and confront and I'm ready
to look and steer at the underlying at
the Nish behind it at the soul behind it
so then at best I'm eliminating or
really numbing symptoms but not
addressing the core
issue those who went to my wife's Tanya
class yesterday I see quite a few so you
know that she quoted my son who's in
Vietnam with a few boys and he sent uh
he sent us something he saw and the line
is those who don't move never notice
their
chains those who don't move never notice
their
chains and uh think about it I may be in
Chains but if I don't move I'll never
notice those Chains It's the movement
that allows me to observe the chains and
that's why we'll see in life that
sometimes the people who move most
notice the most chains if I'm just
moving you know once a month or once a
year so even if there's a chain and I'll
notice it it's not so dramatic but those
who grow most are those who notice much
more chains than others and that's why
there are people who feel acute pain and
they shame themselves and it's really
the opposite the reason you're feeling
acute pain is because you're growing
you're expanding you're expanding your
horizons you're challenging yourself
you're going into territory that may
have not been that may have not been
cultivated before in your heart and
whenever I do that I'm going to notice
my chain if I never stretch I'm never
going to notice the situation of my
muscles that my muscles are tight if I
stretch I will notice that my muscles
are tight and if I really stretch it's
going to be much more painful so it's
not a reason to shame oneself on the
contrary there's a celebration in that
it's a celebration of growth it's a
celebration of awareness it's a
celebration of healing because all types
of awareness bring Much More Much More
awareness of the challenges as well
there's an expression in
says the more the more perception the
more
awareness y the more pain why
why it should be the other way more Das
less pain and you know Das is really the
expression in tanak for
intimacy and it says they had children
together now from knowing people we
don't have children Y is a euphemism for
connection Adam was connected to he
became one with so Das is not just uh
abstract knowledge you know my computer
has more knowledge than me Google knows
much more than me artificial
intelligence knows much more than anyone
sitting in this room and the entire
planet combined you put in a question
and within a second you have answers
that no human mind can come up with what
what what artificial intelligence does
not have and that's why it cannot
replace human beings even though some
people think they can is Das they can
have tremendous amount of knowledge and
information but Das is visceral
knowledge it's intimate knowledge Das is
the knowledge that affects me in every
five of my being and my bones and my
kishkas So when you
say it means the more Das the more
intimate knowledge there is the more
pain not bad pain pain because for those
who move they do notice their chains
those who don't move never notice their
chains so whenever we're addressing
things on a root level we go to deeper
places and it requires sometimes a
different skill set anyone involved in
teaching in mentoring and parenting and
healing needs to always have the
humility that growth is infinite because
it's rooted in the source of infinity
and whenever something is infinite the
worst enemy to Infinity is smugness
complacency arrogance the belief that I
know it in the early 1900s I once read
an article there was a scientist after
they came out with they already had the
Telegraph and the telegram and the radio
and the photos it was incredible and
somebody wrote I think in 1903
everything there is to be discovered on
Earth was already discovered there's not
going to be anything else no progress
from his arrogant point of view it was
very obvious this is it how can we get
better of course little did he know that
in the last 100 years more has been
discovered and developed than in 5,000
years before that who knows what this
world is going to look like in 20 years
I don't know if anybody's going to
recognize anything and in 50 years I
mean
what' you
say yeah
yeah well depends what you talk about
new it
says there's nothing new Under the Sun
because it's ultimately a development he
meant you know we're not going to
discover anything
yeah because it's yeses so it's not yeah
depends what level ofes it is that's
true discovered yeah there's discoveries
and there's inventions and he thought
whatever we could discover we discovered
whatever we could invent we could
invent so when Whenever there is this
whenever you know whenever a person puts
other people in a box and this is what
it is you know sometimes uh I was once
talking to a therapist he's very very
respected and really successful and I
asked him what's your success and he
said something very interesting he said
very often practitioners they have a
textbook of what is illness what is
health and then when a patient comes
they have to fit them in into the
narrative so I could fit you in and now
I have a description for you and now I
know what to do but very it's not
supposed to work that way he says I work
the opposite and that is you know I try
to tune into who this person is and I
try to use all the knowledge and
information I have and most importantly
the humility that I want to have in
order to try to figure out who how I
could connect to this person best so
it's the humility of understanding that
things can never be defined and
contained in one particular box and this
is the story of it but rather there is a
dynamic and there's a flow because
ultimately there is so much mystery and
therefore there's so much growth and
every chain will contain that will will
curtail that growth and therefore when
we talk about this type of level of
awareness it always requires a
tremendous amount of humility because
you're dealing with a territory that is
so profound and one can never capture it
and own it within their logic so we want
to go through these five things we know
what happened happed in history but
today I want to discuss these five
Dynamics within the psychological and
spiritual psyche of a human being when
our sages say that five things happen on
it represents not just five things in
the outer world but also five things in
the inner world as we said everything in
TOA has a body and has a soul we want to
discuss what these five things are in
the inner life of a person why is it so
important because when a fast day is
established in Judaism it's not just to
remember that something negative
happened and that's it it's much deeper
than that it's an opportunity for
healing it's an opportunity for
correction it's an opportunity for
repair we don't go into 3 weeks just in
order to be able to flex the muscles of
sadness we go into the 3 weeks in order
to be able to confront all those things
in our life that may be broken to be
able to figure out how we can bring more
awareness more love more wholeness and
more healing to them in that sense these
days are very powerful they're very
potent that's why the rambam says that
when M comes all our fast days will
become festive
days will be a may we see it today will
be a y in fact say that comes the
biggest y will be TSH the question is
why I understand Messiah will come
there'll be Redemption the world will be
a beautiful place there's no need to
fast but why will the fast Day become a
holiday the fast day is a sad day you
don't have a reason to fast you don't
fast anymore why is the fast day
becoming a if something tragic happened
on a certain day even if the tragedy is
eliminated so it becomes like a regular
day we don't say it's a regular day we
say it's going to become a the reason is
because in all Brokenness there is a
treasure of healing that is under
it every wound covers something that is
very very powerful it's very very
positive there's a reason that
Brokenness happened there's something
that's protecting there's something
that's covering there's a secret message
over there and when we uncover it it
becomes a greater day than other days
that's why Shas is not going to be a
regular day it's going to be a y in fact
theel says something amazing when the
Jews built the golden calf it was at the
behest at the suggestion of iron he saw
there was chaos and he told them okay
give me gold and they molded this calf
from fire and iron
says tomorrow is going to be a holiday
for God so Rashi says he was trying to
postpone them to delay you know to
procrastinate we'll wait till tomorrow
he was hoping mha will come down from
the
mountain and indeed they woke up early
in the morning and they began all the
festivities around the golden calf the
dancing and the ecstasies and the the
idolatry and everything else that they
were doing over the the promiscuity so
the says but Aon his words are sacred
when he
says tomorrow will be a holiday for God
it's going to be fulfilled when so that
reason
say is going to be one of the biggest so
when Aon said it's going to be a holiday
forem tomorrow he meant it that which is
the day after they built the camp that's
the day M comes on it's going to be a
big it's going to be a big big and the
reason is as I said because when we
confront darkness and we trans form it
we don't just get back to a regular
place we go back to a much much deeper
place in ourselves everybody knows this
from experience whenever I face
adversity and darkness and I penetrate
it I breach through it so then the light
that you reach is not the light that you
had before it's a completely different
level of light it's a completely
different magnitude of light because
when darkness is transformed into light
it's a completely different type of like
it says
in the greatest light is the light that
comes from Darkness it doesn't only mean
that you see the greatness of light when
you compare it with Darkness but that
the greatest light is the light that
comes from the transformation of
darkness when we also understand the
inner rhythm of these five things we'll
also understand the order and see that
the order is actually very very precise
and very very
meticulous so let's go through these
five what they mean in every person's
life and I want to thank my brother
Rabbi Simon Jacobson wrote an ESS on
this a few years ago which I used as
well so I want to thank him for that as
well so
now let's discuss the first one what's
the first thing that happened at he
says the were broken now what does that
mean that theas were broken what were
these lus the lus as the T says they had
the words engraved on them engraved in
them there's a difference between
letters words that are written on
parchment and letters are words that are
engraved in Stone when you have letters
written on parchment like a scroll they
become one when you write on a piece of
paper some of you are taking notes the
ink and the paper becomes one but
they're not Inseparable it's two
separate entities that become one and
that's why you can erase it you can take
an erase it sometimes it may be a little
harder a little easier but you could
remove the ink from the paper you can
even remove the ink from the parchment
or the papirus whatever it is because
essentially it's two entities when you
have letters that are
engraved in the Stone the letters are
made from the stone itself it's not that
you added a separate entity and you
brought it into the stone you engrave
the letters from the stone so they are
in the stone and made from the stone so
they're
Inseparable I cannot now just remove
these letters from the stone and remains
intact there's no such a thing because
it is one and one one entity with the
stone in Hebrew it's the difference
of
and are letters that are written letters
that are engraved the the says
in the words and the letters of the were
engraved in
the that is what was broken on that day
what does this represent in a person's
life there are things that are written
into inside of us there are things that
are engraved inside of us things that
are engraved inside of us are not
additional they're not things that were
added to me we have things in life
messages in life that were written
inside of our brain as our neural
neurons develop and neural pathways are
created as we know today in Neuroscience
we pick up stimuli from everybody and
everything especially in our formative
years when a infant is just trying to
navigate a crazy world and an
interesting world that's let's hope it's
more interesting than crazy for the
infant but it's always interesting and
new so the brain is always detecting
everything already in the womb of its
mother the baby's brain is open the
fetus's brain is open to detect anything
both in terms of bliss and
danger and these become ingrained
memories in the brain that we sometimes
have to deal with years later certainly
as we're born and we grow up the
environment the mood of mom the mo the
mood of dad the Ambiance in the home the
safety the level of Joy the level of
Sadness the dispair these are all
messages that become written into the
brain literally like written into the
brain this is the Brilliance of the
brain which can detect all of this this
is
called things that are written that
which is engraved is that which is the
very very fabric the very essence of the
stone itself not just written on
it
and when we talk about a person's what
do then the lus represent the lus
represent the Innocence the Purity that
is engraved in a person's n in a
person's psyche in a person's soul
because the truth
is that the the soul is
a as it says in t the soul is a piece of
Hashem it's a derivative of infinite
Consciousness that's not written into
the soul it's engraved in the
soul engraved means it's essential it's
it's intrinsic the two are not
separable that's what
means is when that gets shattered what
does it mean it gets shattered when a
person becomes
fragmented they become separated just
like when something is broken all the
pieces are going in different directions
they're fragmented it's not whole
anymore in a person's life when a human
being becomes somewhat disconnected or
often deeply disconnected from this
engraved innocence this is what the
broken luus means and that's why it's
the first thing of Shas because the
first Calamity in a person's life is
Brokenness the Brokenness is when I'm
not any more aware of my inner innate
intrinsic
wholeness and this is what a fragmented
person means this is what it means I'm
scattered this is what it means
different people are disassociated are
disconnected from each other when Theus
are whole it represents a state where a
person sees the wholeness in their life
even if there are challenges it's in the
context of
wholeness when the lus are broken now I
just see fragments and every piece is on
its own isolated even though it's really
part of the
whole and this is the first step in a
person's life of Brokenness of
sh because it's this awareness that is
the beginning of healing
the famous line of the Kat and other
great Masters he said in yish he said
I'll say it in yish and then I'll
translate it he
said hard to translate but I'll try
there's nothing as straight as a crooked
ladder which means if you want to get up
you know the ladder has to be slanted
there's nothing as crooked as uh a g
veral as
a as a con artist deceptive Sly innocent
line there's nothing as black as the
white shrouds on the corpse and there's
nothing as whole as a broken heart what
did he mean by this why is there nothing
as whole is a broken heart and the
answer is he didn't mean that a broken
heart is whole what he meant is
Brokenness is the ability to be able to
begin sensing the pain behind the
Brokenness which is always a result of
the love behind that and that's why it's
the humble heart that opens itself up to
seek real connection to seek real
attachment there was a Jewish singer who
once said when I was young I worshiped
Perfection I looked for whole things
today I search for things that have
cracks and side of them because it's the
cracks that allow the light to come in
it's the cracks that allow the light to
come in when there's no crack there's no
light coming in so Brokenness has two
sides to it Brokenness is very sad but
the feeling that it's broken is the
beginning of
wholeness you know the old story about
the woman it's a very good
story there was a Chinese woman who
would go every day from her home down a
slope up to the river to fill up two
buckets with water and bring it back to
her home and that was the water that she
had for herself for her family to drink
to bathe to wash to give her animals
that she
had she was very very poor so she had
these two buckets you know with a stick
and she would put it on her back and one
bucket was on this side and one bucket
was on this side and she would carry it
like the old water carriers in the
pictures that you see the problem was
the one buck ET was whole the other one
had holes so by the time she got home
one bucket was still filled with water
the other one was half empty but she had
no choice this was the only bucket she
had it was better than nothing so the
old Legend goes that one day you know
the second bucket started to cry and
said L you know it's not fair I look at
my colleague here comes home with a full
bucket of water and I'm like half empty
I feel like such a loser like such a neb
case so she tells this broken bucket she
says tomorrow when we go back home up
the slope I want you to look out from
yourself and look what is under you and
when they're going up the next day she
takes a look in this beautiful beautiful
flowers roses and lies and fragrant
flowers that were planted along this
path and she's like wow and she says to
this bucket you know when I purchased
you I knew about all of your holes I
knew about your floors I knew about the
cracks inside of you so I planted
flowers along your path and every day as
we go home you water
them and because of that we can enjoy
such a beautiful fragrance and odor and
Aroma in our home thank you for watering
this flowers every day and of course it
represents a very profound idea in life
people are sometimes so ashamed and
embarrassed because of their cracks
because of their Brokenness but it's
exactly what allows the light to come in
these are not mistakes when God created
this bucket when God conceived you he
knew about everything that will happen
in factal say the gamar says in
explains it it's a very intense idea and
I know it's not easy to say it and
sometimes it's not easy to hear it and
it should never be said uh without
tremendous amount of empathy and
understanding but every soul before it
comes down to this world it's told
everything that's going to happen to it
and if it doesn't agree it doesn't come
down to this world in other words the
soul deep down understands what its
mission is so my body may have not yet
gotten the message and that's the work
to work with the body and communicate
what the soul knows but the Divine Soul
sees every event in life as part of an
incredible journey towards wholeness and
even the Brokenness even the when the L
is break which is which is not a good
thing it's a fast day but from the
Soul's perspective it's this Brokenness
that is allowing flowers to be created
that could never be created without it
and therefore the soul enthusiastically
embraced this Mission you can't force a
soul to come down without its consent
doesn't work whenever you Force somebody
to do something you know it uh how long
does it last you know how long does it
last it lasts as long as you can force
them so the soul has to completely
Embrace its life's journey this doesn't
make it easy but it means that the soul
is not here as a victim it's as a it's a
messenger it's
a and it embraced this this Mission with
enthusiasm so sometimes I could look at
cracks in my life I could look at flaws
and challenges and things that I would
have loved to get rid of you know I said
was asking my classes if you could press
control all delete on three stories of
your life you know take three stories
that happen in your life and press
control all
delete what would they be so you know
sometimes people have to think but very
often at least at my classes at least
some people they don't have to think
it's like three things you know give me
a list of 20 but when you think about
everyone has you know things if I
wouldn't have had this if I wouldn't
have experienced this if I wouldn't have
done this if I would have had this
whatever it is every person you know
yourself I don't have to elaborate every
person has their own
Story and there's a truth to that and
it's important to grieve that because if
we don't grieve it we don't honor the
pain we just repress it and we hide it
and then it just leaks out in
Dysfunctional ways and it usually
creates a lot of deep pain and anger and
resentment but it's not conscious when I
can grieve it when I can pay respect to
it when I can pay tribute to it then my
body with its magical mechanism that the
Creator gave it can process it but but
then something else can happen and that
is as I grow I can ultimately look at
all of these things and say
wow this Brokenness has allowed me to
achieve what only I can achieve and
become the person that only I could
become because there's only one person
like you whoever was and whoever will be
when the M
say the person is supposed to say for me
the world was created it's not a joke it
says every single person that means
there's something think about it the
person that you are never was and never
will be so you'll say yeah but who am I
I'm just a simple person well from our
sages perspective that's not true it
says Adam was created as one person to
teach that every person is like Adam if
somebody would have destroyed Adam a
whole world would have been destroyed it
wasn't one person so kazal say this and
you know what they used to tell this to
every witness in every Jewish Court any
witness that would come to speak about
issues that can have a capital
punishment this was the introduction
remember that if this person is going to
die because of you you are destroying an
entire universe just like if somebody
would kill
Adam that's how it is this is how our
sages they took it very seriously but it
doesn't seem to make sense let's face it
there's almost 8 billion people who even
knows about me the answer of course is
that from the perspective of the Creator
the the person that you are never was
and never will be and every journey in
my life and in your life is
indispensable I to make you the person
you could become and the light that you
can give to the universe and that's why
we see an amazing thing and that is
after M breaks theem tells
him to thank you for breaking Theus and
in fact the whole Torah ends that way
the whole ends with M's passing and then
the tah eulogizes him for everything he
did and what's the last thing the last
words in
remember what you did before the eyes of
all of Israel so rash says what did he
do before the eyes of all of Israel when
he went to par nobody saw it it was a
private audience when he was on the
mountain nobody saw it what did he do
that everybody saw and what's the answer
he broke the
tablets the question is you have to
eulogize this is the climax come on this
was a horrible thing he had to do it but
it's a horrible thing we see we're
fasting because of it that's how the
whole Torah ends the whole conclusion of
the whole Torah is what mha did not that
he took them out of Egypt not that he
gave them the T not that he split the
seed not that he brought the temp
plagues not that he gave them the Mana
not that he fed them not that he
nurtured them not that he helped them
Reach Triumph and reach the promised
land that's all before what was his real
accomplishment he broke the he broke
the it's very hard to understand but now
we get a glimpse into it because the
breaking of the lus is not just the
beginning of a tragedy it's the
beginning of the
healing it's the awareness of the
Brokenness that allows me to see what
was broken why is there pain that it was
broken and that's always the beginning
of of of the of the the rupture awarness
of the rupture is always the beginning
of Rejuvenation of transformation of
healing they tell a story there was a a
Jew who survived the Holocaust himself
he lost his
family and this Jew Mah was a GID in
Poland and he was AIC Jew so he had a
long beard
he had p and he was a Jew he lost his
entire family in the war and he also
lost something else he lost his God he
lost his faith he came to
is he didn't have to cut off his beard
and his payers cu the Nazis did that for
him but he never put anything back on
and he remained a very very secular and
he was very very bitter like so many he
was very angry and bitter because of
what he
saw he was a gas now the GB was the his
name was the
Imus M alter Al is known as the Imus he
passed away in 1948 but he himself
survived the war not his F part of his
family also but he himself survived and
he came
ter now this man heard that his Reb
survived so he wanted to go see him but
he wasn't going to go fake it you know
put on a yam and you know put on U like
an Fiddler on the Roof put on one of
these beards he wasn't going to do that
so he decided he's going to go as is
he's going to go as is he didn't know if
his rebba would recognize him cuz he had
a big beard or not but he wanted to see
him he loved him very much and he went
to see so he went into was already a
very old man he died in 48 and he was he
wasn't feeling well he was broken and he
comes into his room and he looks at him
and he
saysa MOA he saw right away you survived
says yeah I survived so he says tell me
the whole story I want to know the whole
story and he tells him the whole story
from the day the Germans came into their
town and what happened with his wife and
his
children and uh for the first time since
the war thisa started to cry he just
began sobbing you know for many people
who go through such calamities they stop
crying because once you put on the foret
of Tears you know it never ends so you
just shut off you know when there's a
water leak in the house you shut off the
water the problem is when you shut off
the water you can't have water for
anything there's no leak water there's
also no shower there's no sink so a lot
of people you sometimes shut off the
water cuz it's easier to navigate life
so he never
cried I once asked
rabinin used to
say here you supposed to cry so I said
what type of ridiculous thing is imagine
a comedian gets up and says okay
everybody now you're supposed to laugh
or a Storyteller says now you're
supposed to cry it's ridiculous either
they're crying or not crying but now
everybody should cry so he says you
don't understand cuz you're an spoiled
American he says these Jews could cry
24/7 but they usually were told you you
got to live not cry here it said here
you could let go it wasn't a big deal
they had what to cry about so that
moment with his Reb Imus he started to
sob they say the Imus was also
crying and he shared the whole story and
the Imus listened to him and then he
said to him I want to tell you something
you lost a family I lost family and I
also lost 300,000 students remember
there were G were very big before the
war and it was completely decimated I
know 200,000 300,000 but a lot of Polish
jury
were so he said how do you think I wake
up in the
morning he asks this he says I don't
know so he says I'll tell you and this
is what he told them this is what he
told his Jew he said when M turns to the
Jewish people and tells them the story
of the breaking of the L he uses the
words I broke them before your eyes
and the asked the question why does he
have to say before your eyes he could
have said I broke them what's the
difference if it was before their rise
or not before their eyes let's say m
would have taken the lus and turned
around about face and broken them and
they wouldn't have seen Theus when they
were broken the tragedy was the same it
was broken it was broken if somebody
takes your most precious piece of
jewelry and destroys it whether it's
before your eyes or not before your eyes
it's
lost but says I did it before before
your eyes why does he say it this is in
and you see at the end of the last words
are is before everybody's
eyes so the IM says I'll tell you what
it means and he gave a completely
different interpretation he says I broke
them before your eyes means I broke them
only before your
eyes I broke them only before your eyes
from your Vantage Point they have been
broken but there is a deeper reality in
which they would never
broken in front of your eyes before your
eyes Theus were shattered were destroyed
but there's a deeper place there's the
third ey as we call it the third ey I as
in ey Yee and I as in I where the lus
were not
broken and then he said every Jew is one
of the
luas before our eyes from our vantage
point they were all destroyed but I just
want to tell you there's another space
in which nobody was destroyed and one
day the curtains will be removed the
veils will be removed and we'll see that
the lus were never broken and that the
Jewish people were never destroyed
before our eyes destruction happened
there's a deeper space deeper than our
eyes where the look are still
whole and the IM said to him that I want
you to know that there's a space in
which every Jew who was killed because
he was a Jew from Masia is completely
intact that's what he told his Jew he
gave him back his soul now because these
were two survivors so they could speak
like this to each other someone else
saying this to a
Survivor it's sometimes foolish and
sometimes cruel but with tremendous awe
towards a generation that saw so much so
much horror I want to apply this also
because his words are very meaningful in
every person's lives when we speak about
the Brokenness of the engraved lus it
can only happen l
if the Innocence if the Purity is truly
engraved in your soul then nothing can
obliterate it so when we say I was
shattered I was broken I was fragmented
it's only from my perspective now my
perspective is powerful because my
perspective is what I have in life I see
things from my perspective I can't see
things from another person's perspective
why is it relevant to know it's relevant
to know that very often there are
Realties that are real but right now I
can't see them whenever anybody doubts
their
wholeness whenever anybody doubts their
inner wholeness they have to know that
doubt is
coming from my vantage point from my
perspective and I need to know that I
need to honor it and I can't deny that
but what he was saying is there's an
inner inner inner core and when I find
the tools to open myself up to that the
luas were never broken they can be
broken because that which is engraved in
the soul the fact that it's
a its relationship with hashem's
infinity and love is not superimposed it
wasn't written into your soul it's
engraved it's through and through and
through it's a it's one thing and
therefore it's in Inseparable if
somebody wants to destroy your soul they
first have to destroy
God nobody can destroy God and just like
Hashem is the source of all Bliss and
love so that soul is a derivative of
infinite Bliss and love and when a
person realizes this they know that the
Brokenness even though it happened it
occurred it's on the level of the brain
that sees things according to its tools
and very often I could live my whole
life that way and if I never move I'll
Never See My Chains when I start moving
I'm going to see my chains I'm going to
see that my vantage point is flawed but
that's the beginning of healing to say
wow why is there such a disparity
between what I see in me and who I am
because what I'm seeing in me is the way
my brain is interpreting who I am and we
always do that
I come into an event I come into a class
I come into a I come into and the brain
right away has what to say anybody
relates to this is called inner mental
chatter right you go out of a meeting
you go into a meeting you go in for here
you go in and the brain has what to say
anybody relates few people are smiling
okay I want to make sure I'm not the
only
muga let's face it it has nothing to do
with reality I know what everybody is
thinking they're not thinking first of
all they're thinking about their own
insecurity you think you're the only one
who has anxiety on this planet you now
we start imagining oh you're thinking
this you must be thinking this I came
late cuz I came ear they got their own
issues they got their own issues trust
me they don't even have the mental space
to think about your
issues ask them you don't believe me ask
them what are you thinking about if
they'll be honest with you but our brain
hijacks our
soul and the Brain creates all this
endless commentary and that's what
Brokenness looks like become a
fragmented
personality before the breaking of the
lus that innocence was obvious and
absolute the Brokenness of Theus
represented that something was broken
when something is broken it's it's still
here it's just fragmented when you put
it together it's all there what was
teaching the Jewish people is that even
in your Brokenness it's still you're
still part of that Oneness and that's
why it's interesting in the holy of
holies in the Arin they put the second
set ofas that were whole but the
says the broken fragments of the first
were also in the ark both of them were
why would you take the broken pieces and
put them in the Arin and put them in the
holy of holies because the broken pieces
themselves were sacred because
Brokenness when it becomes the beginning
of awareness and of growth that itself
is sacred and as I said the Brokenness
brings you to a place that's even deeper
than the wholeness that was there
originally cuz if not why would there be
a need for Brokenness why would all good
something that comes from the source of
all goodness want to go into Brokenness
only because from that place I can reach
a much deeper place of holess so that's
the so in summation we have the first
event of representing the
disassociation from the awesome
wholeness that exists in a person which
is engraved in you
[Music]
engraved I'll tell you an interesting
story it's a kabat story there was uh
there were there were
uh the previous La R his name was the
rebat so he was saved from the Holocaust
from mors and then he came here in 1940
and he passed away 10 years later in
1950 he was the father-in-law of the
seventh so he would send in those years
in America he would send
emissaries that's where the network
began all over different cities to
encourage Jews to inspire them so there
were two Elder and they came to a city
and there was a secular Journey he said
what are you guys doing here you came to
schar which means you know oh you came
to raise money they said no we didn't
come to raise money said what did you
come here for so he said we're traveling
scribes he said what does that mean
you're traveling scribes he said you
know sometimes in the olden days not
every can afford a cipher can afford a
scribe so they were traveling
C they would travel from City to City
for a week here a week there and they
would check out the C the T Scrolls and
see if a sa needed to be fixed if fan
had to be fixed if M had to be fixed
they would travel to the next city that
the cities can afford so he said every
Jew is a letter in the every Jew it
says that's what the writes but
sometimes the letter gets a little
erased so the connection of the Jew to
the so we're traveling scribes they Eis
sentus to be traveling C to check out
Jews and see if the letter needs a
little fixing we could fix the letter
the guy was very very impressed and
created a relationship with them when
they came back to the to the previous
they shared with him the story and they
told him what he said and they were very
proud of themselves and theb looked at
them he said you made a mistake you made
a
mistake you're comparing the Jew to the
ink that's written on a and it can get
erased and you came to write it he says
that's not the case the relationship
of
not they're engraved in the they're not
written on the so it can't be erased
what could happen is this what could
happen is when letters are engraved in a
stone Pebbles could fall in or dust
could fall in so it eclipses the clarity
of the letter CU in the hole where the
letter is engraved it gets filled up
with a little dirt so your job is to
blow away the dirt and reveal the letter
but you don't have to rewrite the letter
cuz the letter can't be erased he says
that's the metaphor you have to
give it's not letters on the scroll it's
letters engraved in the stone that's the
Theus represents so it represents a much
deeper level of a relationship and when
that's
shattered it's very very sad it's very
tragic CU When that's shattered when
that innocence that is engraved in you
is shattered is the most painful thing
one of the most painful things I would
say that happens in life is when
innocence is
shattered and it sometimes happens at a
very very young age and the people who
experience the shattered innocence
what's even more painful is that they
don't know how innocent they were so
they don't even know that their
innocence was shattered cuz as they grew
up they grew up in a world that was not
innocent they grew up in a world where
they don't even know about their
innocence because they had to protect
their innocence from being shattered
again and again and again and they may
have created Crazy defense mechanisms to
protect that innocence so worse than my
innocence being shattered is that I
don't even know that I ever had
innocence that was shattered so I can't
even grieve for my innocence that was
lost that's why we commemorate the bre
do you understand what I just said this
is very very
important that's why we grieve the
breaking of Theus to know that the in is
an innocence that was engraved in you it
is engraved in you and it's shattered
it's shattered because of all types of
golden calves that people create and
everything that that represents but
because it's shattered it doesn't mean
it's not there it means that now I have
to bring together the pieces and when I
bring together the pieces pces I'm going
to reach an innocence and un wholeness
that is much much deeper and therefore
you should never ever you should never I
I I I spoke yesterday I got a call from
a 17-year-old girl across the ocean from
another another continent another
country and uh unfortunately she tried
to take her life a few times so I asked
her why she said because my soul is
worthless my life is worthless and I've
harmed other
people so at least if my soul is anyway
worthless my life is anyway worthless
why should I continue to harm other
people so therefore if I take my life I
won't harm other people and I thought to
myself you know look at a person here in
all of her dispar about herself why does
she want to die so she shouldn't harm
another person how did she harm other
people she harmed other people like
you're harming kangaroos in New Zealand
she is so sensitive and something
whatever all is she's dealing with she
thinks she harmed the world but it
represents to you how sometimes the
innocence causes such barriers to go up
why be because the innocence is so
powerful that it creates much deeper
barriers if I could quote my brilliant
wife from yesterday's Tanya class who
said that the people who love most I
heard the recording I wasn't there but I
heard the
recording the people who love most the
people who have so much love in their
heart sometimes protect themselves more
more than other people CU if I don't
have so much love in my heart I'm more
of a tough person so even if I get hurt
I don't have to protect it so much cuz
I'm not so sensitive when you have so
much love in your heart now if that love
is not reciprocated or that person feels
vulnerable now I may put on a bullet
proof vest and I won't let anybody get
close to it because I'm too vulnerable
I'm too soft I'm too authentic and when
I'm so authentic and I'm so filled with
love I have to protect myself in extreme
ways that other people don't so
sometimes you look at yourself and you
shame yourself and you guilt yourself
for all these protections when really
it's just a demonstration of how
profoundly my coping mechanisms had to
develop in order to be able to protect
this pure innocent lus that were
Shattered by this golden calf by this
Idol that was
created and when we begin to recognize
it with compassion and empathy did I
repeat it correctly what she said is
that what she said okay I'm a gooder so
when when we when we begin
when when we be especially if it's my
wife when we begin to acknowledge that
that's where all healing happens so
that's the beginning of the foundation
we now go what's the second thing that
happened sh the second thing that happen
is very interesting the word tamid means
consistent always carbon right you
say
always this was the consistent offering
that was brought on a daily basis and
this is very interesting this is the
second Calamity what happens is when
people lose the power of
consistency in life we are all or at
least many of us at least I could talk
about myself we have
moods and our moods always shift
sometimes I wake up in a amazing mood
sometimes I wake up in a lousy mood
usually depends on what type of dream I
had the night before or other factors
but we're
Moody
inconsistencies I had a friend in class
he would tell me he would tell me why
why the only predictable thing about me
is that I'm unpredictable he says the
only consistent thing about me is that I
am inconsistent he knew himself he says
that will always be you can always rely
on me to be unreliable and be
[Music]
inconsistent you'll see a very
interesting thing throughout history and
that is the most creative people are
very very often the most consistent
people if you'll take some of the
greatest composers take a person like
Beethoven or other great great composers
or artists they had schedules that were
extremely extremely consistent and there
was a reason for it you would think
artistic people are creative it's not
about consistency it's not about nine
to5 it's about unpredictability it's
about creativity it's about being artsy
but it's the other way around
consistency is the soil in which
creativity can
blossom that's a good
line and the reason is because when
people are consistent when we have a
consistency there's things that are
unbreachable unbreakable in a person's
rituals and a person's commitments and a
person's dedications it's what allows my
juices to flow if not my chaotic self
can take the best of me and It
ultimately eclipses even my creativity
and here we come to the carbon T the
second tragedy is there was no
consistency anymore there was no T
anymore the med says this is an
introduction ofy that the sages debated
which is the most Central
in one
said great one
said God is one love your fellow like
yourself one
said human being is in the image of God
and then Ben said
bring a lamb in the morning bring a lamb
in the afternoon and the rabbi got up re
re got up on his legs and he said py the
Lord is like been py question is why I
understand God's Oneness I understand
love your fellow like yourself I
understand the human being was created
in God's image but bring a lamb in the
morning and a lamb in the afternoon I
mean come on so the maral of PR says
something amazing it's the power of
consistency a relationship is about
consistency it's of course it's not only
about consistency we're not talking
about consistency that's devoid of a
soul but every person knows when I want
to get my life together there's a carbon
t a carb means I wake up in the morning
and I Define myself I am a channel for
Hashem I'm an evidem in the morning and
in the evening in the morning and in the
evening why in the morning and in the
evening because sometimes the sun is
shining and sometimes the sun sets but
consistency means that regardless if
it's nighttime or daytime regardless of
the sun is shining or the sun is not
shining there's a commitment there's a
dedication
in a marriage also rituals that are
based on consistency are extremely
helpful for relationships you would
think what does it have to do with
romance romance is about creativity and
spontaneity and let's I don't know let's
suddenly go onto an air balloon right or
let's go visit Antarctica tomorrow and
the truth is there something a lot of
very fun about spontaneity and where
somebody once said now we're going to
have spontaneous
dancing everybody knows you know
spontaneous parties and spontaneous EV
events are sometimes the best but in a
world where it's so easy to get
distracted and I always tell parents
create consistent times with your
children I told a father once when you
come home spend I don't know make 45
minutes that's dedicated to play with
your kids he said 45 minutes my whole
life is for them 45 minutes it was like
humiliating I said your whole life is
for them but when you come home you're
on the phone from 6 to 10 so it ends up
that in your mind your whole life is for
them yeah if they end up in the hospital
you'll go I know that but in reality
they don't know who you
are consistency looks like very menual
it's like it's very me it's like small
it's what's the big deal come on I want
to be creative I want to give you my
whole soul what this consistent ritual
but there's something very powerful in
that because it's the Daily Grind it's
the commitment it's the
dedication what was the power of that's
what theal is
saying is a grand idea God is one
is an incredible idea humanity is
one is a powerful idea we're created in
God's image that means the Dignity of a
human being is non-negotiable but these
are ideas and as powerful as ideas are
you could get up at a lecture at a
convention and thunder these ideas and
people say that was
amazing that was amazing but what made a
nation so unique is that for thousands
of years they brought a lamb in the
morning and a lamb in the afternoon or
today it's replaced with davening
what's that idea I wake up in the
morning and I say I wake up in the
morning and I know I need to spend a few
minutes in my connection with My Soul
connection with my God connected with my
connection with my relationship and it's
consistent sometimes it's easier
sometimes it's harder but that's the
power of consistency and ultimately it's
the soil in which creativity can
blossom you'll see one of the first
symptoms of trauma is there's no
consistency in life anymore it's just
pure chaos because I'm being driven by
drives that shlep me so now I have this
distraction I'm looking for distractions
I don't know who I am I don't have an
inner Compass when I'm looking for
distractions depends what the
distraction is there's a party here I go
party oh my phone is available my phone
is available there's this there's this
carbon Ted means no every morning this
is what I do no matter it's not a
distraction this is a commitment that I
already knew a month before and a week
before and even a year before so that's
the second thing that
happens when the Contin his daily
offering seized this was the T of the
daily offering that was brought each day
the ups and downs and the vicissitudes
of life could not take away the carbon
tet nothing it was nothing can take it
away because it was Ted that's the
powerful force of consistency and that's
why when B when this happened when the
Buttle when they manag to get rid of
that tmed already Things become chaotic
Things become shaky
in a person's life you always have to
ask yourself in healing I want to find
out about my Brokenness and my innocence
and now I want to create a tmid I want
to ask what are those things that are
consistent in my life that I will never
give up for
anything I once heard from a doctor his
name is Dr Ira Weiss he's a cardiologist
in
Chicago he shared this recently over the
years he couldn't share this cuz he was
supposed to be confidential but recently
you know after everybody's already in
the next World I guess he could share it
as a doctor so I once heard from him his
name is iise he's a cardiologist very
very very famous
cardiologist and the the had a heart
attack suddenly middle of aus in SCH so
he flew in from Chicago the next morning
and he treated him and he made from his
room hospital till he recovered so he
was he once shared years already after
the Reb's passing he shared he was once
talking to about his schedule CU he
wanted to see what adjustments he could
make to his life that had an impossible
schedule I mean I don't think you ly
possible he would sleep two or 3 hours a
night and it was so he was trying to
convince the reab you know to go easy on
life so he was asking about a schedule
now rebba was a very very private person
so almost nobody knew about his schedule
because he was extremely extremely
private even his own secretaries and gab
they had their times they came in but he
was very private he would walk home
alone he would come back alone shabas he
was Al it was very very private but he
was this was his doctors I guess you
know you got to be open with your doctor
so he shared with his doctor he says
that never had children him and his wife
never had children they were married for
9 or 60 years but they never had
children and it's interesting that
Friday night chabas day he never had a
meal with anybody besides his wife you
think a big reab you know there's a Tish
there's a lot of people this was what
something he had his with wife 60 years
only with his wife unless they were
eating by her parents when they were
alive but in any case so he told them
that every day he goes home for 20
minutes or half an hour and he has tea
with his wife he has tea with his wife
every single day and
uh and Dr why says and how important is
that to you he says that time is as
precious to me as the time that I put on
thin that time that I can give my wife
is as precious to me as the time I put
on fing and therefore I do not want to
give up I do not want to give up that
time and I thought it was it you know it
was so fascinating he knew that this is
what his spouse needed he was busy with
the whole world he was a re for the
whole world and this was very very
powerful so in each person's life when
we create that tumid we know what is
that carbon Ted in our life spiritually
physically in our relationship with
ourselves and our relationship with
Hashem you know sometimes people feel
guilty like they're sitting down you
know some people were made to feel very
guilty for sitting on the couch and
relaxing there's nothing else to do in
the world how you sit on the couch and
relax there are people that they shame
themselves like but it's really a
question of what's behind it if the
relaxation is I'm just distracting
myself you know with another clip from
Rabbi W
okay but other Clips I don't
know then even working could be a
distraction but if somebody is is it's
all part of a connection of a
relationship then it could be very very
holy
time so this is where we claim our Ted
the next thing that was that was
destroyed on Shas is the city walls were
breached now that's interesting when the
walls are breached the city wasn't
destroyed yet the city was intacted but
the walls were breached and this is the
third symptom of trauma we have no walls
anymore walls here are not a bad thing
they're a good thing sometimes we talk
about walls you know there's walls that
separate us here we're talking about
healthy boundaries of protection when a
person does not have those healthy
boundaries of protection and the walls
are breached it's the beginning of aan
everybody needs boundaries the moment
There's No Boundaries it means you have
no self-respect all the all the of are
based on that for men and for women all
the of all theas think
about think think about the whole all
the movements that have sprung up in
recent years which accus people of
violating boundaries how much heartache
how much pain would be eliminated if
people understood how to protect the
Divine given walls that protect youim
from being desecrated and
violated and whenever anybody thinks I
am smart enough I am good enough I could
violate those boundaries they're making
a cataclysmic mistake SCH himself said I
could marry as many women as I want want
it's not an issue I could marry as many
women as I want not an issue either T
says
no Med says that the it says the king
shouldn't have many women so the yud of
Y came to hasem and said violated me so
says the
says SCH and a thousand like him will go
down but one letter of Tyra won't be
nullified why do you have to say it's so
harshly the answer is sometimes it takes
a thousand brilliant
SCH to lose their moral Morality In
order to see you shouldn't play games
with AUD from the T sometimes that's
what it takes brilliant skilled
interesting charismatic people but they
allow the walls to be Bri and it's true
in every person's life it's true in a
marriage it's true especially in our
relationships with other people it's
true in every aspect of our life
self-respect is Divine respect the
boundaries I spoke last week in our
sheer about people who allow others to
uh defecate on them because we don't
have an ability to say no if I'm saying
no out of Cruelty then it's a bad thing
but if a person is saying no because
they respect who they are and what their
mission is at this moment then it's a
form of self-respect when the of
Jerusalem was breached by the Romans by
the Babylonians it was the beginning of
the end nothing happened yet but now
everything is open
once everything is open the
vulnerability is of a different level of
course we have to know when to take down
our walls the walls are there to protect
us from Roman Legions who want to
destroy us when somebody wants to come
into your shim to come close to you then
I have to know how to open the walls if
we can't open our walls and we just live
behind walls it's a disaster but the
point is in every situation we have to
have look what happened to Israel
because they did not know how to protect
their boundaries and you know why didn't
because they didn't know where their
boundaries are because they weren't
convinced about their boundaries because
they were busy doubting themselves are
these are boundaries are these not our
boundaries is this our land is it not
our land maybe it's our land we should
split the land the moment you don't know
your boundaries it's even worse if at
least I know my boundaries I could say
these has to be I don't know my
boundaries and this is what happens
emotionally the people sometimes don't
know their boundaries they don't know
who they are and therefore they don't
have respect for who they are this is
very important when my luas are broken
my consistency gets destroyed you know
what else gets destroyed I have no self
resect cuz I have no self and when I
have no self how could you violate my
boundary I don't even know what they are
at least if I know who I am I you know
this is not a good place for me this is
a good place for me this is a good time
for me this is not a good time for me
this is a place I can hang out a place I
can't hang out this is a conversation I
should be part of if I don't know who I
am so I don't know what's what's not so
I ask other people for their
opinions you have to have everybody
understands what I'm saying this is
important stuff
very important
stuff it's a it's a real form of it's
not arrogance people think it's
arrogance it's not arrogance on the
contrary it's humility I'm not trying to
protect my ego I'm trying to protect my
soul I'm trying to protect my god-given
mission it's like we all know when it
comes to Children their boundaries need
to be protected what happens when V
boundaries are violated it creates chaos
in the psyche and then you'll forgive me
when they develop as adults as young
adults puberty Etc the levels of self
shame and guilt and Loathing could
beyond what anybody imagines unless you
studi this so you have experience with
this and the reason is
because God's boundaries are sacred the
of have to be protected we come to
number four apus burns the
T apus burns the t is the fourth thing
that happens on
sh what does it mean that the T was
burnt the t is the Mandate the blue
print for life that Hashem gave the
Jewish people in the world burning it is
not just I didn't do it it's a
desecration of it it's the destruction
of
it you know burning some somebody's
possession could be one of the most
painful things there was a German poet
he was Jewish he converted because he
wanted to get a job in University his
name was H you ever heard of him hinish
H and they were burning then books in
Germany and he said
where they burn books they will one day
burn people that's what he said in the
1700s it's a desecration of somebody
burning somebody's identity burning
somebody's belief the
says Romans
burnt
with and his students asked him he was
one of the 10
Martyrs his students asked him what do
you see and he said I
see I see the the parchment being burnt
and the letters soaring away that's what
said people think they can burn ideas
you can't burn ideas ausus thought if
he'll burn the he'll burn the Jewish
faith he'll burn the Jewish religion you
can't ideas you can't
destroy it works both ways by the way
negative ideas and positive
ideas there was once a
teacher and and the teacher was talking
during
Shas and he had the he had the crowd he
had the boys and the he had the class
build from cardboard a little B Mikes
and they built a little B Mikes and then
he had them sing songs about the B Mikes
and learn ideas about the bikes and then
they went outside and he took a match
and he said bring your cardboards and he
burnt it and all their little cardb
bikes is were burnt and then he said and
now I want to burn the songs in your
head and the ideas in your head can I do
it they said you can't so he said that's
what our enemies didn't
understand could burn the physical
but you can't burn ideas you can't burn
a soul all of our enemies they thought
they'll destroy this T they'll destroy
the body of the Jewish people you can't
burn these things I was in Israel a few
shabas ago shabas three weeks ago I went
to Israel M for for shabas and the
reason I went was because I told you I
was going there was an organiz there's
an organization Yi they made a shabbaton
with survivors of the music festival
Nova survivors themselves 150 young boys
and girls in their 20s mostly or young
30s who survived the music festival s in
the morning they came together for a
shabbaton in the David Citadel Hotel in
Jerusalem my dear friends yosf and leita
sponsored It Ralph and leita sponsored
it and they came with their some of
their children and SEL Schneider is a
woman in Israel who runs an organization
called K Yi a a woman her husband is a
rash in the Yesa where somebody just had
a baby at the age of 88 you remember RAB
kki so so so one of the rashash there
his wife his name is Rabbi Schneider so
she runs Casi and she made a shabbaton
for these survivors 150 all of them
survived it was a very very intense shab
as you can understand so I came from
America to speak to them now what am I
supposed to tell them so more than I
spoke I tried to listen but each of
every one of them saw either friends or
relatives or family members massacred in
front of their eyes every one of them
little kids little kids and close to
half of them came from religious
families close to half of them and they
left and they left religion they ended
up there and a huge amount of them came
from what you would call kedi families
which means very religious families in
Israel I saw over shabas how they knew
all the songs they knew
everything and uh it was a very very
intense and overwhelming shabas but
every one over there experienced a
miracle because logically they shouldn't
have survived they survived one person
was sharing that he was wearing a jacket
that was green and it was 6:30 in the
morning and he was hot it was a whole
night of dancing you know you get hot
after dancing whole night so he decided
to take off his jacket and then he said
you know what he can get L I'm just
going to leave it on at that moment
Kamas came in and he began running but
he ran the wrong way instead of running
towards Israel he ran towards the
direction of Gaza so he's right near
Gaza and he sees a tree so without think
he climbs up to the top of the tree
because he's wearing this Green Jacket
he's camouflaged and for8 hours this boy
is holding on to the branch of a tree
for8 hours the branch of a tree making
sure not to make eye contact with
anybody because you could see eyes and
he would be killed immediately or taken
hostage so he's looking but making sure
nobody's sees him he's
green and after eight and he says he saw
he saw everything because he was near
Gaza so he saw everything imagine what
this person saw over eight hours he saw
everything a young little B innocent kid
a boy and after eight hours the Israeli
Army
comes and he
screams save me how they supposed to
think he's Jewish they're about to shoot
him so they one of the sold says
say so he
says so they slept him down right that
moment they suddenly hear is on other
trees were other Jews who clowned up on
top of trees they all started to say sh
they were all saved imagine they heard
him say it they started to scream and
they all got
saved so so so we were for bringing a
whole shabas together and shabas after
during lunch somebody came up to speak
also a actually his name isab is
goldwaser he's a historian and he gets
up to his speech with a little
sa gets up to speak with a little sa
he's speaking to the whole crowd there
and he says to them I want to tell you
about this sa so what he says to them
this sa comes from the Nazi
concentration
camps there was a Nazi camp known as
chest
not and they brought in there and they
would read it on Monday and Thursday and
chabas and they were caught one day and
the Nazis started to whip the Jews who
were reading it so that the blood went
onto the sa so this parchment is filled
with the blood it's 150 years old to say
the German confiscated it there was a
Jew who helped the Nazis over there
because of his talents so he had access
to the storage place and he got it back
and he hid it in the
Barrack and on Sim they danced with the
sa in the Barrack this Jew his name was
adist he survived and he brought a SE
with him to Israel he passed away in the
60s so Rabbi goldwaser says in the
morning I was dancing with this
Marshall and that's when we heard what's
happening usually we never allow the sa
to leave the sh because it's so fragile
it's 150 years old but I told the rabbi
where I'm coming for shabas to the Nova
Survivor so he let me take the sa so he
says you guys danced a
whole night at your Festival we were
dancing H in the morning everybody's
dancing was interrupted your dancing was
interrupted with rockets and bullets and
atrocities I want now that you should
con complete and continue your dancing
but this time
with and this time to do theas that you
didn't do
on he says that's why I brought the sa
so you had 150 survivors everybody got a
turn to hold the sa and
dance in yam together there was not a
dry eye there including the boys and the
girls themselves
as they were holding this and he said I
want you to know that this literally
survived the Nazis who few feet away
murdered tens of thousands and it
survived them it'll survive Hamas
too what this did for those kids was so
moving so
astounding ausus understood this so
that's what he wanted to
burn and that's what happens what is
this in a person's life
when we destroy that which we hold most
dear when we when we destroy our
blueprint for life when we destroy our
gift of life when we
destroy when we destroy that which kept
us that which preserved us in a person's
life a philosopher once said we
sometimes destroy what we love
most instead of cherishing it and
celebrating it we become so worthless we
become so valueless in our own eyes we
take our most preci prous item and we
could destroy
it we finally come to the last and with
this we
finish he took AUM and he put it in the
he took a Graven image and it was placed
in the sanctuary what does this mean you
want to take a pagan image put it
somewhere no he went into the into the
and put it
there a true enemy likes to strike at
the heart of his enemy of his adversary
in order to demoralize to humiliate the
yipper war happened on yipper for a
reason the Sim War happened on SIM for a
reason exactly 50 years later to the day
October 6 October 7th I don't know if
you know October 6th
1973 October 7th 2023 50 years to the
day literally one was Yip and one
was at as I said then the enemy was
trying to destroy the
Jewish the way you respond is by
creating the
deeper by creating a deeper Joy deeper
connection deeper camaraderie but they
want to take the salum and put it into
the what does this mean in a person's
life the ultimate insult and humiliation
is not one when somebody takes a pagan
Idol and puts it somewhere in my house
that's humiliating enough but in the
means you go into the Hol place
you go into the most sacred Sanctuary
you go into the most vulnerable and pure
place and that's where you want to
destroy
it every one of us has a every one of us
has a comes from the
word like the container we we are all
a I will dwell among them it doesn't say
in it because every person is a
bik and this is the very pure place in
your heart and soul is the most
beautiful spot in your life it's the the
was the most beautiful part of the
that's where the inner was the man was
the was that's where they burned the
incense every day which had the most
delicious smell in the world this part
needs to be cherished and protected
nobody can desecrate it this place is
the key to our Redemption it's your it's
your inner inner core you need to
respect it you need to cherish it you
need to celebrate it you need to adore
it and you need to make it your best
friend the last of the five causes of
trauma of Shas is the desecration of
your most intimate and precious
core this could mean on a physical level
I don't want to be graphic here but on a
physical level it means what happens
with certain forms of abuse that have
wreaked havoc in our
generation and the reason they wreak
havoc in our generation and people
wonder why the answer is because the
most sacred part of a person's life is
the part in which we are like hashm
where are we most like Hashem the part
where we create life God creates life we
create life when I speak I hope I give a
little life but I can't create life when
I paint I hope it's a not not me but
other people paint it may be beautiful
but it doesn't create life everything we
do as brilliant and talented and amazing
and stupendous nothing creates life
there's one part of the body that Hashem
has given the ability over there to be
like God and create life when that is
desecrated
when that is denigrated when that is
abused when that is touched
inappropriately the Havoc that it
creates is deeper than any other
Havoc it goes into the calls it the
holiest of the
Holy that's why in the most precious
part of a community is you have to sell
even a and a if there's no m in most
religions the synagogue the church the
ashram that's the place by Judaism the
bedroom is
Holier if there's no money for a you
sell the and you sell a nobody has a
nobody has a why because that's
connected to the bedroom that's
connected to the inner Sanctuary the is
called
in the room of the beds it's a funny
name for the bedroom and the image in
the was the the two cherubs which was a
male and a female looking at each other
like children and theor says in y when
the enemy came into the kadash they took
out the cherubs and they said look what
these people are thinking about in their
holiest
places and from this stams Christianity
versus Judaism celibate or family life
because if the Kim are a desecration of
Holiness it means Holiness is about
running away to heaven but in Judaism
it's not that way it's the relationship
that is holiest so inash you had the
relation between hasem and the Jewish
people replicated in the image of a of a
of a boy and a girl a man and a woman is
and Isa like the
whole means you want to bring in into
that so when a person when that space is
compromised it creates havoc on every
level but it exists also in different
ways that's in a very very extreme and
radical way whenever I allow my
innocence and Purity to be compromised
by the tum
it's a very very profound place of
Destruction and that's why the fifth
thing is and that's the order here the
first thing is the Innocence the L are
broken what does it mean the lus are
broken the part that's
engraved and a person does not recognize
that wholeness that innocence we become
fragmented but you have to remember it's
only broken before your eyes so that's
the the engraved innocence that's
engraved through and through I don't
recognize
my the second thing is the consistency
goes the third thing is the wall is
breached the fourth thing is Aus burns
the the fifth thing is I allow Salem to
be brought into my and in a person's
life it is when I have to be able to
completely
protect and clean it up from any foreign
Gods from any foreign
influences your inner
Sanctuary our inner Sanctuary must
remain clean pure of foreign gods and
what does a foreign God mean it doesn't
necessarily mean a physical statue what
it means is the moment I compromise it
with not realizing how beautiful it is
how filled with love it is how much
Holiness is there now I need to look to
others to fill it
that's and that's what happens when
people Soo them soothe themselves with
stuff because they don't recognize their
Holiness the deepest validation you'll
ever get in your life is from your soul
your soul being your best friend but if
I don't have it I start soothing myself
maybe I begin binging or maybe I
emotionally disconnect or maybe I get
into toxic relationships that are
unhealthy what am I doing I'm taking
foreign things that I don't
need because I'm not protecting my
innocence my Purity my love my Infinity
those are the five events say happen
on those are five forms of breakdown in
the inner soul the purpose of this
notification is one and that is to heal
the five to bring the lus to their
wholeness to recreate the T to build the
wall to bring back the T to celebrate
the to as we did the dancing and to get
rid of the salum from
and then when we bring it together as I
said becomes a it doesn't just become a
regular day it becomes a festive joyous
holiday it becomes transformed because
when we work through all of this we
reach a light that is infinitely greater
even than the light before the
Brokenness have a wonderful week and may
we see the transformation
of already
today next week we have a class
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