Hechaltzu chptr 4- Ego is root of anger, being unsatisfied & lonely, 1, 1 & again 1- RC Dalfin

said in this mimer that we've been learning till now that the that the clipus mid is different than the clipus and the and and the clipus of the seven clippers that we speak about in that it's a general clipper and it's not a particular the particular ones as explained in but uh This clip is kind of the father, the father of them all. And what is it? It is the idea of modern mediva, strife, contention, and overall this idea of yesesh. Yesesh is the word used in yesesh to be a yesesh. What does it mean to be a yesesh? It means to be an egotist. an egotist. Wherever you are and whenever you are, it's all about yourself. You come into the room, you turn the whole room to focus on you. Your opinion is heard, etc., etc. Now just for the for the record there is a concept in the that a scholar has to have a ship of a 64th of in other words to allow yourself to be a a doormat which we call in Hebrew kanadresas is also not acceptable and silly. you have to get up and and and make a point when when you're able and needing to make a point. But like the story that I heard from the menal futafas, he told me this in my house in Marin County in San Rafale 1988 or 89. So he says to me, you know, I'm an old man and um I don't have kayak to travel to my sister, your wife's grandmother in Melbourne, Australia. money I don't have old I am tired but I want to leave you an an inheritance you are part of the family I want to leave you a piece of a yusha so what can I leave you I can leave you a story with a lesson and the story is there was aid named I forget his last name I don't know if men told me his last And later I found his last name Rab from Guml. The Russians Gumbl Hummel Hmel Hler. They used to say Gumler. Some could say the Gimmel, some couldn't say the gimbals. They said, "Hey, same same city. Maybe our good our good friend Dr. Velvville uh was there." Anyway, so Rabb Hler and I once were sleeping in a room together somewhere in Russia and I heard him uh I don't know how you say this word in Englishman is the Yiddish word making these noises under the nose like you know these sounds there must be an English word murmuring. ing maybe murmuring whatever whatever the word is and I couldn't fall asleep. So I turned to Ara and I said, "Ara, I can't fall asleep. You're murmuring. Your noises are are just I can't fall asleep. What are you murmuring about? What are you upset about? What's going on?" She says, "I'll tell you." When the freed in 19 the 1920s spoke about Tajbar which are an acronym for tino shell base raon to to get children to go to yeshiva the underground because all the yeshivas were closed and the reb asked of us self-sacrifice if we're hisidim we have to be ready to die for what the message of Hashem is. The children should learn and I want you, he says, to go around to the shoos and make announcements to the people, the simple people in sh and encourage them to send their children to the to the underground which which is known as the maker underground like a tunnel tunnels. So he says naturally I wasn't afraid. In other words, I mean I the wants me to do it. I'm doing it. They're going to shoot me. They're going to kill me. They're going to lock me up. They're going to starve me. That didn't enter even, you know, we do what we have to do. So he came to a either or Musa, I forget. We're one of the big issa if he could say a few words. And the Gaba said, "Sure." So he was standing, you know, next to the the the the row of chairs or benches and he was going to speak from there. And the gobe says, "No, no, no. If you're going to speak to the congregation, get out, get on, go on to the beimma so everyone can see you. Never going to hear you." And you would think there were 500 people there. If they had a minion or 15 people, you were lucky. old rickety people you know made a minion who people were so afraid to go into shul in during Stalin's time in the communist time so he says okay if the gabi says dulan right braw and and gaboam a gabi says you listen they run the show if you think the rabbi runs the sh it's the gaba who runs the shool Anyway, so the guy says, "Get on to the bema." He goes to the bema and he starts speaking about that there you have children. You have to send the children and not to be afraid and that's it. And then he turns to the menal futafas his partner in the room right sleeping in the other bed. He says the ga the ego that I had from standing on the beamer me the big guy is giving this to Russia the sermon I'm still doing chuva for that ego you got it you understand what is something different It's not even in our reality to you know which rabbi go which rabbi which person comes into he gets an opportunity to go to the bea inside himself he says wow great ah I love it and this is a who's crying tears and murmuring and can't fall asleep because he's saying kishma and he's saying I'm such a yesesh I'm such a balgiva from talking to a few Jews to send their kids to to a in in during the communist time. So, you know, we talk about the clipper of mid mig strife and contention, it's associated with the ga. Why do we why do we argue? Why do we fight? Why do we? It's all because my way or the highway. That's it. You know, people can dress. I'm not talking about an intellectual disagreement, you know, a shot in the tus this way or that way or in a mimer or in a piece of philosophy or in a a piece of science. I'm not talking about that. That also can get as you guys know better than I from your years in college and you know where the the professor thinks he knows it all and he's going to tell you. But I'm saying a legitimate argument is an acceptable thing. But most, what does it say Pikus? Most arguments are not they're full of yesesh, ego, ego, ego, ego. This is the kipa of midy. So, Hashem says, "Take revenge. Get rid of this." Yes, it's a plague. It's a very bad I don't want to use the word, but it grows and you'll become stronger in your yeseshas, more ego, more eye, more you know and all that. This is the the underlying theme in this mimer that the Reb seeks to explain and then practically what we can do about it. And this is the reason why they're fighting in a little sh during his time or one doesn't want to drink for the other one's cup. Not because maybe he'll get an illness, you know, but because he didn't like him. I don't want to have anything to do with your your cup, you know. It's okay. We have the doctor here, the doctors. It's okay if you don't drink for someone and you concerned them illnesses. That's it's not a not that's not that's legitimate. during reminders ourselves of co you know it's just I know I probably could figure out when when I got co I went to a clandestine shul in borrow park and they hadim and they had some and probably other people touched it then that's how you get co at that time okay you share food so there is a legitimacy velv to to share if because if you know health-wise, but there's no legitimacy not to share because I don't like you. I don't want to have anything to do with you. I want to walk away. I don't want to touch your stuff. You're a plague. St. This this this is >> cies. >> What? What' you say? >> Cies. >> Oh, the cies. >> The cies. I don't know. That's >> You got the cies. Cies. >> Is that an English word or a Hebrew word? It's a >> no no English word. It's it's slang childhood word. >> Okay. Okay. >> I guess are infected with pies. >> Who? What? >> But you had to go to school with girls to know that term. >> Ah, that's why I don't know that term. Okay, now I understand. >> Okay, good one. Good one. You got me. Good. I learned something from my talum today. Let's go chapter four in the mimer inside the text. And this is why as I just elaborated upon the the the the husk the shell called the the that is specifically related to baseless hatred to hating someone without a reason. Look at what he says. It's not that you hate them because of a detail for example you you the other person caused him some bad you know hurt him opposes him in a certain detail then you would say that the hatred that he has towards the person is dependent upon the detail the particular wrong that was done says that is not the association and the reason for the clip of media. What it is rather it fell in what we spoke about yesterday the shattering of the sparks next page from the emo attributes of the passion of toyu the strictness of it's the anger and the hatred for the for the for the for the other person. In other words, you understand hear this hill the the the holy spir the holy emanation of gura of toou leads to anger and to sinner down here on earth and in a toy way in an indiscriminate way. What are you angry about? Why'd you get up on the wrong side today? What happened? You just got out of bed. You're angry. Well, somehow the guru the toy is Misha's laughing is shining this morning. It got you. I don't know why, but it got you this morning and you're all cooped up and whacked out and angry. You come at the shul like a miger, you know, like a nut. Who bothered you? You just got up. You go to the mikvah. You, you know, you don't want to look who's stepping on my toe, who's touching my clothing. It's like, right. So the says it all starts in and that's the reason for anger the sinner and hatred. Continuing the text because he opposes him. You know what the word means? Therefore he quarrels with him. That's what I'm telling you. Quarrels with him. I'm sure you've had this like you're trying to dive in, you're trying to learn, you're trying to do your business and someone just starts quarreling with you. What did I do? Leave it. Let me live. No, quarreling and quarreling and arguing, right? And that comes from this. All of this is when you have a particular mid i.e. that leads to anger. So in that in that case there is a particular issue that's triggering the anger. Midun is the father figure. Midun is not the particular. It's the claw. It's the generality. And what is that? It's not because of a detail. It's because one and one thing only. I can't tolerate you. I can't take you. I don't like you. Says even if he never never met the guy [Applause] and he had no business dealings with him, right, to say, "Hey, you ripped me off. You're not being honest." No, he just never met and therefore he cannot unite with him. He just doesn't like him. And this is called baseless hatred. Now you have to understand that when you talk about the the is really identifying here this idea that it's it's baseless. If it's not baseless it doesn't go into the category of midy. It's either this nation that nation you're not smart you're not pretty. You're not articulate. You're not dressed well. You're not orderly. Right? You have all kinds of reasons. But then there's an experience where there's just one thing. I just don't like you. Why don't I like you? Why don't I like you? Because I don't. So, in other words, let's say classical anti-semitism that we we experience today. We talk about there, you know, there is this anti-semitism which is I just don't like you because you're Jewish. You know, you know, Manis Friedman would always say in his younger years, I remember 40 year, 50 years ago, 40 years ago, he would say they don't like the Jew in Utah. Okay, go to New Mexico. No, no, no, no. We we don't know what the you guys are. Go to Brooklyn. No, no, go California. No, wherever you go. In other words, we we don't understand you guys. Right. But now then there's a a sinus that's based on hey you're killing the kids in Gaza that their false argument and all that narish kite right so that's a that's a one second that's a sinam that's associated with a reason that's not what we're talking about here mo yes sir >> um is isn't it a scenum that's just enlod in the reason but it's still seen as It could be but it could >> I can I make an excuse to make myself to to give some rational to it but deep down the reality is it's >> well it depends if if the guy snubbed you let's take let's take a classical >> what about anti-semitism >> no let's do a classical example all religious Jews are uh shysters all of Brooklyn Williamsburg my papa they're ripping off the government they're right now. Someone who hates that, they're they're they're tying it to a reason. They could be right, they could be wrong, but they have a reason. So, you're saying that no, that's an excuse. Well, it might be, it might it might not be. How do you know? How do you know? Let let me let me um say if there's a hatred which is based on a reason then it won't be limited just to the Jews or just to that group. It'll be to everybody who violates whatever that is in the person's mind. But if it's if it's only to a specific person or specific group then it's I think it's a which is just being enclosed in an excuse. >> Okay, it could be, you know, it it could be, you know, here in the parking lot of the shul here over here. Um, so there's parking for for uh handicap and no one but no one I see it's handicapped. No one comes there. It's always empty. And uh I happened to meet one guy. He's a very interesting man. and and he says, "I hate those people that park there. I don't like them. What right do if anyone I should park there? I have a handicap." Okay. I don't just hate. So what he he's not just picking he's not just saying that about the people in Shu. He's saying that about anyone. I don't you know I mean if if a non-Jew would come and park there too and he's not handicapped, he would be upset too. So what I'm saying you have to you know everyone what does Rashi say? Rashi says these are things that are given over to the heart. No one knows what's in the heart but we make assumptions. Okay we make assumptions. Yes, but you know you have to be careful. >> Rebby just something like I juvie just what something about um uh Iser said something that just sparked in me just uh something that's very prevalent now is this thing where you know they you know the goyam today not just the Arabs they say no no no we are not anti-semites we're only anti-sionists. >> Yeah. So meaning like yeah we love the Jews but if you're Israeli or if you're a tion American or European then we hate you. And I think that this is kind of like it's it's really splitting hairs and I think it's really been exposed for what it is. I think that now, you know, it's very hard to to say that and and that to be accepted because of the overt anti-semitism, meaning I mean, they're attacking, they attacked yesterday on Santa Monica Boulevard, an Israeli guy for having a an Israeli guy happened to be speaking Hebrew on Santa Monica Boulevard and they they lynched him. This was yesterday, yesterday afternoon. So I I I I think it's very hard to to try to, you know, to to to split the hairs here. They lynched him. They killed him. No, they lynched him, beat him up really badly. He's now in the hospital. Um, this was on the pier on San let me let me load of witnesses. Let me let me counter and I've counter but we we I've seen and you've seen and there are certain non-Jews certain when they see a real yeided they they they have respect the more you you you are a real yid they have respect so to say and and I know Rashi says it's a fact that Isa how Asov hates Jacob. Take take away that rashi and that kazal whatever for a moment, okay? Cuz that's that's a different it's coming from a different place. But in in a on the conscious level, can you say that every go hates a Jew? I mean, let me ask you, would God create the world? Well, no. Would would Hashem create would Hashem create the world in such a way? Absolutely not. So if absolutely not, how do we how do we um justify Iser's uh comment if I understood him correctly. >> Well, but I I don't think it's it's necessarily saying that every boy is an anti-semitic, which I don't think that's the case. I don't believe that. I'm saying the people that are anti-semites and are anti-Zionist or whatever you want to call it, it's one and the same. They're making a terror and saying, "Okay, I'm not saying I hate Jews because Hashem created you guys and you guys look different." They're saying, "No, we hate you guys because whatever reason you have a state or because you have an army, but it's it's the same thing. inherently these particular anti-semmites these pro Palestinians or hey K whatever it is whoever hates Jews I don't think I I think it's like looking for a tyrants to hate us but at this point already they're not even looking for that anymore rebc October 7th maybe they were but at this point everyone says they say it at concerts you know kill the Jews and it's no more kill the Israelis anymore they they're very very now open about everything and they've you know they maybe used to had to masquerade it a little bit. But at this point already, Jews around the world, especially Jews that look Jewish or or have something, you know, someone's wearing a kai, same thing as wearing a yamaka. You're you're you're literally a walking targets. And I I know from Jews now that won't walk around in London and and Paris and even parts of New York now that look Jewish, you know, even Ayamaka or Titus, they're afraid. And they're not afraid because these people are anti-Israel. They're afraid because these people are anti-Semitic and looking to, you know, to hurt a Jew. >> And the answer is not to be afraid. I'm sorry. Okay, I don't want to go into this lead and we got to learn this now, but the answer is not to to be afraid of anyone that hates us or wants to hurt us. The answer is to stand up and give them a sock in the face and go on. Let's go on and and just not give into this this evil. Okay, we have to continue here. Let's go. Sob says um sobb says is the his ego. I spoke about this earlier. He's important in his own eyes. I am so and so etc. This is generally speak speaking the idea of self feeling of self-worth in the sense of ego not selfworth in the in the sense of a healthy self-esteem in every detail who's there I in this I you know the famous story the didn't come outra and they said why not and he said he wants to come along with me who's the he theor I'm blowing the shaer he's right there I'm dancing with the tyra he's right there get away from me you you know the the yes the ego is is is a plague in a sense whatever you're doing h it's me it's me it's I say therefore he can't tolerate his friend, right? that if it's all he and there's there's someone else called another person a friend whatever not his friend but someone else he says hey it's all me not you what do you what do you come into the situation therefore he hates him next page because of his ego he doesn't give a platform uh to to to the other because the other person surely diminishes his existence. He can't tolerate him. We understand for this the primary reason for the sin of for the baseless hatred is his ego. Therefore, automatically the other becomes his opponent. He repeats his his theory. it the opposition is not that he opposes him in any particular details in the overall idea that he exists not that he does this and he did this those are details no no that you exist you the other exists in my world it's only I exist what did pari say I made the river I it's I I write the fact that he exists it it it um it reduces the yeses of the other person therefore he opposes him and he can't tolerate him. This is all the negative but in the positive side the holy side the oppos the opposite of yeses of ego is humility i.e. There you have togetherness, brotherliness, unity since the person's living with humility. On the contrary, he gives a platform and plays for the other. And the idea that he gives a platform, he displays, he receives him, he unites with him. from the perspective of ego. He doesn't give a place for others. He opposes the fact that he exists. Therefore, he he can't tolerate him and he goes against him. On the contrary, because of humility, he does give place for the other. He receives him and he unites with him. basis hatred its cause is ego the the reasons come. So could be the this kiter supports your argument, right? He sums it up here. Tomorrow there's no wait, let me just say no she got to fly back and but Thursday we'll have a and the guy has the safer for you. Please get a hold of it because it's much easier to just to announce one page. Okay, have a good day everyone. I think >> what what >> Rebe I think just one thing it really ti the end what he just said really ties it up in a bow a very nice bow. Why? Because that he's saying he's saying inherently the the the is inherent. So the excuse that the guy okay he stole from me he you know he embarrassed me. It was always there. This was just an excuse that came up to the surface, but he hated him for no reason and that he was just looking for an excuse, you know, to say, "I hate you." And same thing for anti-semitism. >> Okay. So So let me ask you, do you do you believe that forget about the go us the yen? Do you believe that ye yeden there are yeden that are like this? Uh, not not not many, but I'm sure there are. >> Yeah, I I I understand. Is you believe the people in in bet over there if they they have disagreements with others who are not as fanatical as they are, they hate them like this because of this. I I I don't know about you in bet but I I certainly have seen people who have such a mamasha hatred that it's it's irrational. It is absolutely irrational. >> Yeah. >> Yidden. Jews. >> Yeah. >> Yidden against Yidden. >> We had somebody in Shul to this day. I don't know what the person did, what offense he committed. >> He went to himish. He went to him uh Arabium Kipper saying I don't know what I did whatever it was I'm sorry please forgive me the guy like not literally spit in his face but he got up and walked away to this day nobody knows what the offense was just >> okay so so so one second you say they don't know it could be there was a particular thing that he did to them >> but he won't say it he won't tell anybody he won't the rabbi tried to intervene tried to intervene. The the person himself tried to intervene. It's not not normal, not rational. If you can't even say, "Listen, I was very hurt when you did this. I was very hurt when you said this." They can't even do that. That's not That's not not to even give an excuse. There wasn't even >> I I guess I'm too much of a laber. I I tried to I tried to see >> I don't want to tell you that this person >> was a lab from >> Yeah, there is and there is have a great day. There's Labavich and there's Labavich. >> There's Labavich and there's Klavic. Yes. Okay, guys. We'll resume Thursday. Not tomorrow. Thursday. Zoo. Take care. Bye-bye. Great day. Good class. Good class. Good learning. Good talking.