Healing Hearts 2

are open a lot all weddings and your ism are absolutely open compositor into the public or a private wedding crashers they set up a whole buffet for that anyone who she crashes all drinks on the house and yeah they actually there's no such thing as a closed wedding in Jerusalem it could be the secular community in Jerusalem you know might not want me coming and going hey it's a Jerusalem wedding let's go you know but I'm but certainly in the observant community it all weddings in Jerusalem are are open to the community the next large listening tonight we're going down a major party tonight's in Tel Aviv we're taking off around six from my place to the sweating I don't know you gotta fight busy night this one's going to be huge this is at the King David all right wedding hall in Java she's ready for neighbor you guys busy tonight no three so it's the King David send the King to the king david ahn ja patinsky okay it's a place called part of a little part of tel aviv called B'nai Barak and it's going to be top Pablo ah you can come as you are actually just uh I'm you might want to mind when I put a button down shirt on you don't have to you can come as your orange cream party okay where were we oh so you know what happens listen this can I just go a step deeper you guys don't mind going deep like this so let's go a step deeper once the heart was crushed were kids and we realized will never love again we're never going to go there again I'm never going to allow myself to be that vulnerable again you know what we went for after that we went for the counterfeit of love what you think you can understand love is what you need more anything else on the world more than water more food more than the air more than you need love ok you were raised in a nest of love what do you think I don't need it anymore you still need month and you're seeking it to this day you'll seek it in spouse unfortunately many parents because they didn't get it ragged when they were kids seek it in their own kids you ever seen clingy kids and I cling to their parents you know you're probably some of your uncle's your nephews or nieces won't even go to you you know because they're so clingy on their parents you know why that is kids are not naturally clingy you know where they learn to be clingy the parents are like sucking the love out of them you know they're they're clinging to their kids because your kids are like their chance to be loved fully again their spouse forget it can't talk the kids all that's where i'll get my love i catch mice up once in a while saying it up you know tell daddy you love them you know and i immediately say that i love you because the kid needs the love he doesn't need me pulling it out of him understand anyway kids give a love naturally but you know they don't need any extra parents suck in and out of them and so the so you still need love even though your heart said I'll never love again it's not like you don't need to love anymore so you actually you know what you did you chose the counterfeit we choose the counterfeit of love you guys what's the counterfeit of love saturation lost we spoke about sexuality just casual sexualities a counterfeit very good but guess what wait to hear this the counterfeit of love is attention well take a moment just everyone be quiet for saying breathe into that one they can be breath and realize just listen that ever since your heart suffered the damage of whatever you let it get into or your parents let you let it get into that ever since then you've tried to fill that with attention think about wealthy people in your community where you grew up fancy cars but kind of miserable situations yet you know it's got the hardtop convertibles think about the women the way they dress they don't want to dress that way baby mamas they so badly don't address that way but they've already been broken and so they'll go for attention instead it's easier to think about others but now take a moment just think about your own life one and here's the amazing thing of how you see how counterfeit it is is that it never works it never worked because at the end of the night you're in bed they're looking at the ceiling and there's a tremendous emptiness tremendous emptiness there which we can fill with intoxicants and other things or sleeping pills or whatever this deep deep emptiness there because it just doesn't work that's why you see like rock stars like died on the night of their big show because because the the the all the attention made this like boomerang this way but at the end of the night when all the crowd was gone and it was just them in their feeling they're kind of coming down from whatever drug they were on or whatever they're like that boomerang way over here that debunks that's inside of all people who have had their hearts broken which is almost everybody since society stopped marrying off their children song no you know if they truly someone made a song about it hotel so I Metallica record hey I had one so what's the answer what is the real answer you have the answer just might have to split second chances ah ok so that I'm going to call that a band-aid though I've been a band-aid then what's the real answer for us the real answer for us ready for this imagine guys want another one is first of all keep your pants on that's a good one okay that's not what I came here to talk about but first of all keep your pants oh don't put another brick in the wall and start creating yourself dignity the second thing is you'll notice that you don't put a lot of love in the system itself you're not putting out a lot of love because that's you know the price for love is you know everything costs you know the price for love is ooh nice pen the price for love is okay the prize for love is a vulnerability and that's why we're like tough with a with other men you know we got like a image and stuff like I'm not going to be so friendly to Samuel you know because that makes me vulnerable i put like when you say when you're showing love with someone you might as well just put a target on your head and hand a guy gun understand you're making yourself vulnerable when you're sharing love and you know what they're doing the same thing so what happens is we live in like a drought we live in like a drought of warm feelings for human beings we're living in a drought so you know what the answer is amazing answer it's totally counterintuitive but it works ready for this all you do all you do is decide now you guys gotta get us all you do is decide now that you're going to be a loving human being a caring loving respectful human being to all other people so now of course what did I just say if I do that then I got to pay with vulnerability I don't want to be vulnerable meaning if I put myself out there to be like loving to people and respectful of people they could crush me right and crush well guess what if you're interested more than anything else in having loving relationships and that's probably the most important thing for your healthy psychology well guess what most likely the person sitting next few is go in through same thing and the strangers on the street same thing and the girls in your group the other girls in rage same thing everyone wants Ava wants us so tell me you guys tell me what happens when you decide from now on I am giving I'm just put I'm just going to