Heal From Abuse With This Jewish Secret!

the yeshiva.net today's class is dedicated by Stephen and Robin Ross in memory of their beloved grandparents Selma and Abraham Berman thank you very very much and may they be an eternal source of light blessing and inspiration to you and the whole family and all of our people many blessings and thank you thank you very very much we truly appreciate your partnership so let's begin let's summarize and continue the last piece of the minority gave an example of War and in battle [Music] in order to engage the enemy in order to defeat the enemy there's a strategy that's employed in which one might do something that seems like a form of surrender which has allow themselves to uh go into a place where they can be ambushed or hurt or beaten but it's all part of a plan it's all part of Escape where that brings out all of the forces all of the troops of the enemy into the open and once it's in the open an open field an open space they can ultimately come with their ferocious might and eliminate the enemy so even though somebody who doesn't understand or looks at it superficially says you're you're seating territory you're you're giving up you're giving you're allowing yourself to lose and be defeated you're allowing for casualties you're allowing your sworn enemy to win you that's only a very superficial perspective because they don't see full picture and really it's fully Central to a strategy which is the only way which you'll ultimately be able [Music] examples from chess maybe a more benign War if this gives an example of real war which is not fun put it mildly but uh chess is more of an intellectual War so sometimes you move your Pawn and you move your point to a particular position you advance it and you know that you just allowed it to be knocked knocked off the game you just lost the piece and in chess every piece is precious including a pawn which one they may even become a queen if you get it to the if you manage to get to the other side so you literally willingly you you you surrendered your Pawn what happens if you're engaging the enemy you need you want this bishop or his castle or it's not right here it knocks off the pawn and then you'll be able to knock off that piece or the real the real chess Champions they may not knock that piece but they they cause the other person to maneuver and position himself in a way that ultimately will bring to your Victory and that poem became a casualty but it's not really a casualty because you're going to win the game themselves that even though it's not a precise metaphor because here the laws of war everyone is really limited by their capabilities with Hashem it's different but the similar system works on a cosmic level as well and that is that in the battle battle of Purity against impurity which as he said is a very very fierce and genuine and serious battle the reason it's a battle is because all unholiness and all evil and all impurity and all Clipper only lives off due to Holiness its entire source of oxygen and vitality and existence is divine Holiness because without it it has no theme it has no existence it has no substance and therefore it will fight with every fiber of its being to get to keep kadusha engaged to keep caducea Holiness entangled and enmesh an interlaced and interconnected with it so that it can get its food and therefore the most important thing is to cut off the supply cut over the supply to the enemy I'm supplying the enemy and I have to cut but that cutting is not easy because the Clipper will do anything not to allow it we'll use any defense mechanism and any excuse to keep me engaged and entangled and when you say any excuse it's talking about any emotion any rationality any experience any intuition just to make sure that the enemy does not lose its source of water and oxygen and nutrients which is only holiness it'll do anything to grab more but even more not to let go of what it has because the moment it does it has no claim and has no existence and that's where the first period comes in the first bit of the word from the word means to separate to separate to be able to create a separation this is me and this is not me this is my goodness and this is some debug I'm using the word did book obviously in a more General sense some did book that that was inculcated into me that I'm now dealing with the trick is the Clipper needs to make you believe that it's not clip it's you it's really you that's who you are that's who I am as long as this anxiety and this depression and this this self-consciousness and this egotism and this Despair and the self-doubts and the feelings of of negativity and toxicity of me then the clip was good I'm not getting rid of myself and that's its Victory its Victory is a perpetrator whether a physical or emotional or both internal or external imbues impurity into me and I eternalize it as mine Clippers is good that's good that's all we need as long as you took the virus and you made it yours and now you're replicate it and your system will believe that this is who you are wonderful how I'm in the to cut off that Supply takes a lot a lot of courage and it's a lore it's a it's a bad in this battle he said there's a side Commerce there's a secret and that is that sometimes you allow the enemy to cause casualties simply to bring it into a space where you can actually destroy it so on one level you're giving up one so the speakers being knocked off the game there seems like to be a victory but the only purpose of this Victory is what the ultimate deceit of the clip that was the main point that we learned this is part of the United States when I'm allowing the enemy to defeat me she says that that's a real unit it's extremely painful but the whole real purpose of it was part of the strategy and he says therefore the commander-in-chief the one who's running the war he never disappeared for a moment he knew exactly that the poem is not it's not that that he's not losing it's just a preparation to win it's a preparation for victory and he says just like in the physical metaphor he's never going to send in the ultimate generals and commanders and troops that are going to win the battle because he doesn't want them to be casualties you have to also know who's going for who's going over there to be able to take the the to take the bullet upon right you put the you're not going to put you're not going to put the queen to be knocked off okay if you put the king there the game is up so spiritually speaking what that means it says even when there's a casualty it's only in the future because he said it's in the skin it's in proportion it's in the garments it's never in the in the bones in the flesh and the core even if it's only is this external element that are being sacrificed it's also only to win also not a real defeat but even that is only the external layer it's not the internal core the internal core always remains aloof Sublime sacred whole it's sending in so to speak its own troops it's sending in its own garments into a very uh violent or bloody or difficult place and it's going to get hurt but what's going to get hurt never the core because the core remains essentially essentially Transcendent essentially sacred essentially Victorious Joseph was lowered into Egypt who wrote he was taken down and hurath is a passive term it's not yora he didn't go there he was slept down he was a victim he was a passive victim means you were taken down like you take down the table like you take it down the boat like you take it down an inanimate manner you're transporting a car you're transporting a horse well the horse is not inanimate but it's you decide what you want to do if you manage to control them the ocean he didn't decide his brothers decided to sell them into slavery and the people decided to buy it so it says that the word hurray really comes from the word in Hebrew whoever comes to the word do not dead which means a ruler foreign but really he wasn't going down he was going up only by becoming a slave and becoming a prisoner did he interpret the dreams of pharah and he became the prime minister of Egypt second in command so was he going down or going up he was becoming the ruler of Islam but yet it's a nice shot but at that point Joseph was going down he wasn't going up means take him down making words there's a third finish in the mattress a third common thing the Joseph there's no vows there's no goodness so you could pronounce words different ways and it's precisely that way there's no decudence because many words you're supposed to pronounce different ways even though it creates a title we pronounce it one way but the fact that it lends itself to different pronunciations is all part of China that's the concept of creative so the matter says you can also read the Joseph says he took down god with them for yoseph means he was taken down another Passat is he went to rule and the third is how he really brought the skin of that is 1981 so he said that all three something mother said it's not three years it's all the same it's different different dimensions the message doesn't just mean he was taken down and one day something good came out of that why don't you say something else the hurat was already a a form of rulership there's two ways of looking at going down one way of looking at going down is I'm a victim I'm a slave hopefully one day I'll see the good but here we're learning something much deeper the going down itself was a form of Conquest Joseph wasn't going down as a slave he was going down as a ruler even though it looked like he was going down as a slave because what was he really doing what was going into that space as a Divine ambassador and that's the whole variety there's two ways of looking at people's Journeys and I know this is much easier said than done but at the moment we're talking so I'm talking about it but I'm saying this disclaimer that nobody should think that the words capture the depth of the intensity of the experience it goes through a painful Journey especially in their younger years when they don't even have the discernment to know what's their fault what's not their fault right that's the whole challenge when I'm an adult I could separate this is Clipper this is not Clipper I'm guilty I'm not guilty this is you this is me when I'm four years old when I'm six years old when I'm eight years old it's all me oh and if something comes from a respected figure and never mind somebody who's so close to you it can't be their bad right so who's really it who's really at fault so of course it's only I deserved it I brought it on me they're they're sense this is one of the worst things I play with people's minds this depth of of self-blame of self-loathing I'm the crazy person either I deserved it or I'm crazy and the Very fact that I suspect something else just means I'm so evil and dark you understand that this is all impurity that attached itself to me and literally hijacks my thoughts it hijacks my brain and that's exactly the war that's necessary to separate so as long as I see it only as I never fell into the wrong place wrong time wrong family wrong Community wrong School works and okay that's what I'm saying the news you know when a tree falls in a car they were just in the wrong time in the wrong place you know cookies crumble different ways so now the whole avoida becomes how could you recover from such an experience and hopefully you could recover but there's something much deeper institutions what if I can go back to that experience and actually imagine for a moment that Hashem was the one who went through the experience I was like an ambassador so to speak God's imagine God Infinity all of his Infinity he chose to go into this experience so it's not that I was so broken and the question is can I heal from that Brokenness the I that is at the core Divine was never broken it went into a place of Brokenness simply because it knew that with this soul that has the power to defeat the Brokenness because I went in and this I went in as a king I didn't know one as the victim it was infinite Consciousness choosing to go through the most finite and maybe darkest of experiences through this song which is knowing that this soul will have the ability to be able to take the slap to take that torn to allow to be able to take the the bites so to speak or the bark of that torn being thrown off the board and yet using that as a catalyst to ultimately eliminate so much Purity impurity from its system and from the world around it who was a classic example for this Joseph when his brothers were terrified when they saw him and he revealed himself to them and he asked him what did he say s we don't get the price why they shouldn't get depressed they don't have a risk to get the dress he should be the one not to get the class they were fine they were 22 years with their father their family went on as normal imagine you're in prison for 22 years well at this point he wasn't a prison he was prime minister of region but he went through a lot and even as prime minister of Egypt he was torn away from his family and then the one who threw you into prison suddenly realizes who you are who he is what our relationship is and gets terrified and the victim was a prison for so many years saying oh don't be upset it said something is you hurt me you destroyed my life and when I confront you and I say I'm Joseph you know I'm the guy who sold them to Egypt I'm the slave I say but but don't worry don't worry relax it's fine you should say okay I'm so sorry what can I suddenly they were in a much different position than he was and he said because you didn't sell me the family Hashem sent me well Joseph didn't know that they said Santa they threw him into a pit they saw them at the slavery Joseph was that naive he told power he told the bottle that he was sold he was stolen he was kidnapped him Yosef was very very practical person who exactly how he ended up in Egypt he wasn't arguing about the facts he was not arguing about the circumstances the eyes of hura but how do you explain who wrote what is hurat I know it's urad I know the soul went into battle and all this Blood I know the soul was hurt his casualties but how do you see it I could see it from the perspective of I just had bad muzzle bad luck ended up in the wrong family in the wrong place or I could see it hide it there's a mission of leadership here and the leader goes to places where other people don't know Joseph nobody else can go there Joseph so yes if so was chosen on her slickness and you don't send them you don't send the most trained troops to go sit in a park and eat so much good sunflower seeds the people who have to take out last week the Islamic Jihad terrorists right in charge of that operation you need the most skilled trained experts the Precision the meticulousness because it's such a crazy mission so imagine when you send the soldier and to Normandy will you send this no Soldier to blow up Hitler's uh bunker in Berlin will you send this Soldier to take out Osama bin Laden or to take out these Islamic Jihad terrorism the soldier says what am I a loser you're not a loser you're the man you're the man but we don't see it when it comes to our own pain because the clip over there takes over so of course you're a loser the Joseph hurat he never made the mistake of thinking he was lowered into Egypt he was just a passive nebuch case he was chosen to be a leader it was a painful Journey this doesn't mean it's not painful this doesn't mean you're not going into dangerous places and it doesn't mean that some soldiers don't come back they rescued the the hostages from untappi and Yogi Netanyahu and another three died so till their last breath they didn't see themselves as The Losers of the Jewish people who were thrown out of class you know go to Uganda what are you going to do here Uganda you got my point you're used to have always understood this that he was sent on a mission how did he understand it that's the third interpretation of marriage because how did this because he never thought he was separate from the skin there's delivers thanks to all the three interpretations that the Madden shall won but Joseph is lower but really it was going to be or how how can they both work together so this is a schlichus it's a mission it's not a decree it's not a death sentence it's a mission that is a difficult one that's no question and it's a mission where they are there's pain and the external part of the Soul like those troops who go first like those pawns they get hit and they get hit hard Joseph was hit Joseph was hurt he wept and nobody weeps as many times as Joseph cries nobody you don't have any time somebody cranks so many times if he became a Heart of Stone and he became just this cold strong man he wouldn't cry so much obviously the fact that he was weeping so much means his heart remained open because that's the key the key is not to disassociate you see what often happens when we go through negative experiences we do one of two things either we become so tough and ruthless to survive cynical tough ruthless you don't believe anybody or anything and there's a good reason for that wow there's a good reason but you can see something on people's faces it's just like a certain sense of it's not going to happen again all right another form which is very similar but it's just expressed differently is disassociation a person like becomes a little detached from the world like you're not here if you're not really here and you can't really get to me so either I'm so here and I'm so tough and I'm so strong like I'm not going to be moved by anything oh I just like live in a you know like in a sugar-coated cotton candy La La Land Six Flags and I'm on top of a ferris wheel singer once in a while I'll peek out but I'm always smiling but it's really a form of disassociation uh foreign sourdough you put into a meal because yeah a little sweet what's wrong a little sugar in the tea they're not sugar Splendor not Splendor little honey those of your wife Max awake healthy cakes what makes a healthy cake or healthy muffins instead of sugar at least coconut sugar not regular sugar so you said that represents zoyote sourdough he said it's a person who's very sour and Vash is very sweet too sour or too sweet it's already here nothing wrong with being a sweet person it's good to be a street person but it needs a sweetness that's it's almost like I'm I never take this I'm always sweeter nothing ever to like it are you here are you present when you're present I never become too sour or too sweet it's two reactions what is the reaction where I become very sad and what is the reaction where you're not going through a different world and I'm very sweet I can't blame a person how could Yosef remain presence how could he remain present only because of how what he saw how he saw himself this was the main point yeah and as we get older we could we could reframe all those events and all those experiences and all those Journeys as part of us including the very fact that I didn't know about it when it was happening I didn't know how to interpret it this way in other words I thought I was really sent into battle because I was rejected I wasn't chosen I was rejected that's also part of the mission that's what you have to everybody has to understand people sit here and we talk about this and they say yeah but when I when this and when x y z Etc I didn't know all of this I messed up the fact that I didn't know about this is also part of the mission though you understand that's also what I was chosen labor name is Donald Everson yeah like undercover You're So Undercover that you don't even know you're on a mission usually undercover is nobody else knows but the real undercover missions is you also don't know you know why because if you would know you would never be on this mission if you would really know what's happening you're going into such Dark Places your conscious self would never be able to know this so your soul your super conscious soul listen to what I'm telling you the deepest part of your soul which is not afraid of anything because it's part of Hashem doesn't have to be afraid says I'll go there but if your conscious brain would know that you're like no no we're not going there but it's really all part of that mission of course I didn't know I couldn't know if I would no I wouldn't be there the only reason I could be this because I didn't know but that allowed me to go to places that no other Soul can go and now like Joseph you can transform the whole tumor you can eliminate what you have to eliminate you can transform what you have to transform for another moment were you a real victim even that which was affected is only the external part of the Nissan which means the way you think about yourself vis-a-vis yourself the core self remains absolutely foreign [Music] I don't think he understood he didn't see how it's working out but for a moment he did not feel that he's just an abandoned rejected victim and started to blame himself what an evil kid he is he didn't go there and that's how he retained his Purity his Integrity his his his pain his grace there's nobody in Tamar that you fall in love with so much like Yosef in terms of his grace and his charm right we read the commission like wow this is a guy I would like to hang out with really he should have been the most bitter cynical angry vengeful man especially after he got power well how do you know how the Roman emperors or other dictators when they would come to power how they would take revenge from everyone who hurt them throughout their life I'm not going to describe to you what the Roman emperors used to do in order to enjoy Revenge from their enemies you know throw them off build them and it was horrible what they would do all their vicious all their cruelty came out and with the ice if you see he was strong that he was a tough person and he was he was a very strong person obviously but you never see his toughness turning into a a a harsh dictator a negative person there's always empathy and compassion how does that happen unless you disassociate unless you you push it and well that's what this is what's disassociation this Association is a kid goes through so much pain the soul leaves the body some of you know this very well unfortunately and then the body says you have to do whatever you want to me because I'm not here if the art leaves the body so that body is just like a traditional Mass so do whatever you want but they never come back they can't come back because if you're going to come back and feel the pain you won't be able to survive so when I was four or six or eight or two my brain decided to do what's best in order to survive what's Best in order to survive disconnect disconnect you stop feeling your emotions in your body you're not you're not integrated you can't be integrated it would have been too painful understand what that means this is a very very this is a very very serious stuff in people's lives now they're older they may have children they can't connect to their children they want to they're not bad people they do the right thing but in most emotions have to be blocked the emotions have to be cut off you know if there's a leak if this I remember once Friday night where our ceiling came down and all the water was was gushing right so we went to shut the water in the basement in the boiler there was no water in the house anymore and it was necessary because if you would leave on the water don't worry it wasn't that didn't know where it was somebody else did it you know they're getting impressed why because if you leave the Water Source on the whole house is going to be flooded so what do you do you say you know what I don't want to drown I want my kids to be safe so you shut the water now there's no water so you can't go to the bathroom you can't open the sink but at least at least there's a house that's not flooded so that's what happens if there's a water leak in my life and suddenly I'm going to be overwhelmed from pain I shot I shut down boom no water coming out but at least I could survive but I know it's a world of emotions a copy other people I look at people say oh I love you oh that's when you say I love you so that's when I start saying it so I become artificial intelligence that's what I become not as smart as artificial intelligence but I try and if you have a good Jewish head you do pretty well it's artificial intelligence so many of us walk around to put a big sign I am artificial intelligence intelligent productive nice normal fine maybe even sweet but it's all artificial intelligence and there's a reason for it I shut down the water very very young age and they cannot blame somebody for this anyone who judges is completely clueless because they don't understand what people go through they just don't understand if you don't understand it you have to have the humility to say interesting but I don't know what he's talking about which is fine that's a one wonderful thing to say I don't know what this guy is talking about how do I stop that kadusha um from the first thing is awareness you think so how do you cut off the tuition right that's the biggest challenge you see and that was that's what we could learn from Joseph but never for a moment when you go into self-blame I'm the most evil creature who ever existed he did not go there because it wasn't true yeah what can you find once there's a lot of blackheads in All City no one said it is so obviously there are some people that don't even remember having a teacher and a girlfriend and show them like what would you tell them I don't know I that's above my pay grade with Joseph want to tell Souls that are reincarnated yeah coming by and you know take it like a man yeah take it like a cat let's get milk please and give it some milk listen every shot has his journey the result rights even those nashamas it says in Sanhedrin the 11th chapter that the certain people in England my result says may not come down on the same goof ultimately comes to a ticket and it has to be that way this is what he says the shallow writes this now he's all right this many of them are Kabbalah there's a contradiction over there it's not really a contradiction not passion it is at the surface it looks like there's a contradiction between you go deeper into all the sources you see that there's so many different things that the Ghazal say it's very very I want to call it loopholes it's just yeah it's all very penny is Nick it's very deep for example the Demarcus the mission sentence fought in the first mission event yeah [Music] those numbers I'm just giving you an example and then it says other people and so forth and then nigamari says later you show us people who read notes they were expounding on rishimus the Republic I think I saw darshan those who know how to darshan the Russians they know how to Dash and they see the racism of the hashama it was never erased even the person went so low there's a resume you can still see the rest of you they don't they're magalies the certain people will finish but not them so at the surface what does it look like they're so bad that the values of gehen won't be enough for them is saying yeah ultimately he's going to finish and they're not going to be done with at the surface it means like all the punishments in the world won't be enough of that you understand all the fires of the heaven still won't be enough what does it say get Hannibal finish they move on each I call them they made them call them my arrows will be done but they not this is why do we get into this suffocate right but that's talking about even the generations we had real real sharp yet real real Charlotte when you talk about it our times the majority majority majority of cases probably and that's from a completely literature perspective because [Applause] these kids so you know this has finished but there's also but I think it's in addition to that and he writes that all the things because I'll say my reading didn't believe you know because him inheritance he says in our generation huh but it's okay it doesn't apply today because it's mostly technical Synergy right but in any case the point here is that you see that so many fall fall of so many people is by circumstances or situations that are largely largely out of their control and the choice that we have the agency that we have is later how to look at it how to define it how to deal with it not if it happened it didn't happen just say there are sometimes we know that the summer knows that it's white there and it has and it's because you have to make a difference so the person that's suffered in life and he knows this particularly previously he knows it's for it's ventilation still hurts it's so difficult the iceberg's journey hurts yosef's Journey was painful but he told his brothers you did not sell me I was sent ready to say that that is I see the second it started it was already emotional it's the somehow minimized fact that he was like he didn't have any friends very good question what's it mean he was a ruler in the beginning it doesn't mean it he looked like a ruler but that's that's what rulership doesn't mean that I'm always a king rulership means that even when Joseph was in a pit and as a slave he was a ruler what does it mean he was a ruler not not that's physically it was a ruler he knew but he understood very well that he's going into a very difficult place not as a victim he's going into a very difficult base so he could be fully present but the meaning of his presence was not that somebody else kidnapped me and abducted me and I'm Gone the meaning of his presence there is that in order to bring in the truth into those places I have to go into those places and therefore I have to be present and to be present in those places means I feel what's happening in those places if I'm detached I never really went there in order to go there and bring in Holiness and to impurity I have to go into the impurity so some extent it says going in means you get hurt by it you're feeling where you are if not I'm not present we can understand it practically in our lives sometimes if I'm dealing with a situation it's a painful situation what does presence mean presence doesn't mean I just say oh it's all good comes with everything is good good good good good then I'm just putting on a smile that's a form of Detachment and disassociation and often I won't be able to deal with it I'll just ignore it again and repress it again you have to be careful you said it's all good good good good good not to say it's true it's true but but sometimes it's done in a way that delegitimizes the experience of it and then I'm actually not transforming what's happening I'm detached to be fully present that means I feel whatever whatever is going on over there and that's the whole idea of this battle that he's talking about those soldiers are sent into battle and they're not eating cotton candy they're not sitting in the Beloved and that itself is part of the victory because the fact that I'm there who's there it's Hashem so to speak when in there he's not a noise as I walk in the Valley of the shadow of death I'm not afraid he doesn't say I'm not walking in the Valley of the shadow of death I'm walking there and you know what it's not covered with roses and Lilies until and tulips there's other smells over there but still I'm not dominated by fear because of that I'm not dominated by fear because even in that place where I'm not a winner I'm a loser I'm not there as a loser I'm there as a messenger there's an ambassador my soul went into there and there's only one reason why Saul went there because it has the courage to be able to go there and it brings out all the toxicity the porn gets lost but the chess game I'm gonna win the game of History I'm gonna win and it's only because I went in there I wouldn't have gone in there then I wouldn't have any contact with the Enemy I have contact and the enemy came out from the rabbit holes and all the rats and all the creeps and all the monsters and all the demons came out like I said last week the hyenas are all jumping on my carcass and if you look at me I look like a carcass and that's what that child sometimes looks like that child looks like literally a corpse that monsters are manipulating and exploiting and until man the clip are attached to it little do they know little do they know what power they there and of course they don't know they would know they would stay away they come out hyenas come out But ultimately when this Soul knows exactly who it is the game is over you're not gonna fool it impurity won't deceive it and he gives an example it says that throughout history when yahoodah went to Tom where it wasn't stuff you say a malach pushed him what does it mean you would have went to Tumblr it wasn't it wasn't a whole at the surface it was a very Unholy Act yet mashiach comes from it that mouth was based of it comes from it and as he said the most amazing family comes from it and the most precious Sparks come from it someone used this model here huh that's going to be another piece so it's explained in the story another spotted this is the idea of so to speak you're being defeated by this interaction and you're going into a place that's extremely questionable in other words you're lowering you're descending into an abyss but you don't understood killing and Tama even more than about the observices this woman did changed all of history actually says there's one act of Hudson [Applause] when you say malach push them what does it mean we can understand sometimes I pushed into situations in many cases I didn't even choose it I was literally it's an angel pushed me and I got lost in the process and I fell down and my Pawn was knocked on another Pawn was knocked and another Pawn was not and another Pawn was knocked Soul was not destroyed and the whole purpose is to be able to ultimately transform it and nobody will be able to transform it like this song Nobody and that's why the soul undertook this this courageous mission [Applause] to accept the suffering because later on but let's say he hadn't had a dreams one minute he's sitting and learning because it wasn't smelling but he's not Caribbean is he supposed to at that point um it works together you ask it was Joseph was he a happy person what does happiness mean what is happiness mean does happiness mean that everything is just super super perfect I don't know if that's what happened this week okay so I think happiness real happiness there's moments that you say this life is perfect but I think this this moment what happiness means not necessarily that everything feels so good but that I know that I'm doing the right thing I'm in the right place and I'm doing the right thing and I'm choosing and I'm making the right choices and I'm fulfilling the mission and I'm supposed to be fulfilling now without fear and without reservation you'll be surprised what a good feeling that is and you're supposed to serve a champ 24 hours a day seven days a week but let's face it you're not gonna have 24 7 perfect life experience what if I'm in a difficult situation what if I'm working through something very hard what's the simple at that moment that moment is not the sinkhav I'm just feeling Dandy and Rosy and everything is perfect I love you you have such moments it should be great we should be great it wasn't wrong but the simplest The Sims have a conviction that I know that I'm making the right choice right now instead of running away I'm present I'm showing up and I'm showing up not as a victim I'm showing up as a proactive agent man that's a very very powerful feeling and it creates a certain satisfaction not satisfaction to sense like everything is smug and I'm complacent but a satisfaction of the sense that you're you don't have to be ashamed of yourself it's meaningful meaning meaningful altitude the prices where you can't move yeah that's the opposite of depression so the opportunity you're actually not just feeling that when you're actually doing something about it and and let's understand this and what if I'm feeling an experience of depression I'm so down this is such a difficult thing that itself could be but I know that sounds strange that itself could be just some kind of realizing that yes this is an emotion I need to go through now and you know what it's not fun it's not fun but it's meaningful that's important I'm present to it I'm letting myself feel it we are because of many many years okay we are afraid of emotions at least I can talk for myself really another few people as well we are afraid of emotion at least certain emotions and there's a reason for it feeling these emotions is not it's just not to put it tomorrow today anger works better for us because it's about somebody else what's anger you're this you're that you're that you're that you're that so almost I feel when you're angry at somebody it's a it's a trick to feel good it's fake because the anger is usually a cover-up anger is usually a secondary emotion that's why because it is you attribute God to this this is not God anger yeah it's really a cover-up and anything that's a cover-up is a form of a desire yeah stuff yourself usually anger underlies loneliness pain Etc so but anger becomes self-righteous you're in Russia you're sick you're the sickest person who ever lived I don't know why I met you up now I feel good I'm excited that's not really what's happening I'm sorry because I want to be close to you and you cause me a lot of pain but instead of saying that I want to be close to you I just say I'm angry at you and I don't need you I don't need you really so why are you so angry if you don't need it I need you very much but I'm not ready to go there because that's vulnerable so anger is actually much easier for many of us but some emotions are very very difficult so what does simcha look like simcha doesn't look like oh my emotions are perfect it's it's it's it's it's just it's foolish to tell a person that if you're an over Hashem there's certain emotions you don't have that's not true a soul has all types of second violin emotions are like a violin you have many different chords and they create every different type you know how many keys are there in a piano huh 82 84 86 right each key is essential each key is in the soul has so many different Keys that's what emotions are but it's all part of the song it's part of music you don't have to cut out keys I don't like what the song with the song says so it says I sing to Hashem with my life not throughout my life with my life life is a song have exhilarating moments and songs also have downers great Symphonies have moments of exaltedness and ecstasy and great Symphonies also have moments of somberness it's all part of the song of life I don't have to be afraid of my trees of my notes every note needs to be played if I cut out a note I'm calling out a piece of my soul so you never have to be afraid of the whole gamut of emotions we're so afraid of it because we're told this emotion is bad bad bad bad but the truth is even though concludes that as I experience all these emotions there should ultimately be a core soul that can observe it and say wow this is the journey of my soul something I need to walk through and dance through and and swim through and crawl through it's a song but as I'm feeling it it doesn't feel like a song it just feels horrible so I want to escape it so I go eat or I go drink or I go to the Kiddush or I go to my phone phone is always good you watch a clip so at least if you watch my clip I might be saying feel your emotions so I'll bring you back but if you're watching somebody else's clip he may also be sad I don't know I don't know whose Clips you watch so what what did I do I numbed it why did I numb it I numbed it because it was too difficult to deal with could you find meaning there's meaning in this experience there's meaning I don't may not know what but there's meaning because this is what I'm feeling if this is what I'm feeling this is a part of me just say it does not it's not a part of me it's not going to help a person this is I think very important this why is it quite so much that's why I subscribe life is perfect I haven't Warner so why am I crying you know what being in a pit of being separated from your father you lost for 22 years it's not fun of course he cried and limit the suppression yeah he never had suppression he never felt he had to suppress his emotions I'll just find both together with knowing that is how does crying go together with knowing that I'm on schlichus I think not only it goes together it's an expression expression of it because shlicious means that I actually show up doesn't mean I sit on the Ivory Tower with a joystick and showing up in certain places means I cry that's what showing up means we're we're looking at showing up as geographically you know you're traveling to Afghanistan you're traveling to Iran you're traveling to Muncie she said I have the problem okay but but talk about traveling also means emotionally what if I travel through my emotions you're going to have casualties there what does that look like emotionally that means going into an emotion that means going into emotion that means I'm going into a painter I'm going in I'm not standing at the outskirts I'm not looking with binoculars I'm not watching it on a video screen I'm going in isn't that what tears are tears means I'm there it affected me I am here I'm in that emotion and you know what I'm hurt in that emotion but that's the only way I can actually spit out whatever I have to spit out I can Purge whatever after Purge I can vomit you'll forgive me whatever I have to vomit I could steer the tumor in the eyes and say wow you have really been holding on to me get out don't come back and it won't come back try a few times being that those tears means presence I'm here finally I'm here that's why the greatest of souls who have the most courage for them tears the most natural huh but then it finds let's say sugar to be sad it's experiencing the full gamut of life's courts and life's courts have different different notes the great guitar is a great violinist it's not like oh I only play these chords the great PMS sorry I only do I only do uh you know C minors or Majors I only go do the majors I don't believe in the markets huh doesn't talk together with ego declined like everything it could go it could feed the egoic mind it could feed the ego but not necessarily if the cry becomes an objective in and of itself meaning all I want to do is just cry and feel bad for myself and remain stuck there unfortunately could be my ego has taken over and I could remain stuck in self-pity but you know what that feeling there's also something I have to work through there's a reason people need self-pity why do people just want to feel like I'm a crybaby yeah I'm a crybaby and I feel good about it there's a reason for that too that's also part of showing up we don't have to be afraid anywhere our emotions are taking us teaching us here our soul is going on a journey into a place where healing is needed and you you could be there and even though yeah but I'm feeling well yeah that's exactly what it's like I'm feeling it manipulations huh besides if it's exactly if I'm trying to manipulate you yeah then obviously and I could still look at the fact why am I trying to manipulate you why am I trying to manipulate you and why am I trying to exploit you I'm gaining something from this I probably don't have a core people who live in the world of manipulation it's because they have no car if I can't exploit you what am I left with my relationships are all manipulative that itself I have to be able to work through there's nothing you have to be afraid of as long as you're genuine as long as you're authentic as long as you're looking for for truth and only you know that I can't know that I mean you could usually see it after a few minutes of talking to people you know where they are if they're ah yeah if you're in tune you could yeah foreign now sometimes the person is so so deceptive that they don't know they're deceptive and that's that's part of the empathy we have to have if I'm so if I'm so wound up that I don't know how wound up I am if I'm so defensive and I don't know how defensive I am if I'm so angry and I don't know how angry I am right but when somebody puts like that little you know somebody gives you and the person just explodes you can say wow you know what happened to you that you had to become so ignorant what happened to you that you have to be in such denial how much disassociation do you have you don't even know how angry you are you know when somebody says me angry I'm not angry you're angry I'm very calm I'm very calm and then they start shivering and trembling and moving their feet I'm very con person you know I'm a very calm person could see how calm I am now so the question is what what happened to you that you have to be so disconnected it's painful but there's always one condition and that's the key Joseph he was an agent of the shrinah it was a so the core was not contaminated because Tuma can't win God Clipper can cover up it can't win you can't win truth that's the fundamental question can evil really win over the good could it so if the holy side of Yiddish God is means that ultimately Thomas can't win why because it doesn't it doesn't have real substance how can something that's fake win over truth when it doesn't even exist so can't win the moment Joseph had that in a very deep place now when he went down he was really going up because going down didn't mean he's becoming lost in the abyss it means he's going to be the one who's gonna defeat the impurity in the abyss but in order to defeat the impurity in the abyss I have to be able to descend there and it looks like I will be defeated by it I will suffer casualties I will get lost but it's only my skin that will have a lot of wounds and the skin does carry the scars the fighter who goes into these places on the Flesh on the skin he carries the scars and the wounds of a very fierce battle and that's what gives them credibility that's what gives her credibility that's what allowed him to defeat that enemy he comes back and he says here I was there I was there we have a lot of questions listen questions we have of course there's questions and you know what questions are part of it questions are also part of it just like crying is part of it questions are part of it moshirabeno had a lot of them yet questions it didn't make them less it made them real questions are part of it if I don't have questions what does it mean what am I doing with my brain now are there Souls who are so lofty and they really experience life from a particular wholesome place where they don't even feel pain because they're so in touch with with with with with with the goodness of it you have such Souls but to copy them in an inauthentic way it's it's not my journey it's not my journey we were made to feel we weren't made to be artificial intelligence they say that the Bells who was a very holy man I heard from he was a chairman of a good sister all the chairman of it was that of claims conference it was a very special Jew it came from the damask was in Berlin I'm sorry in Vienna so he would give Shalom to everybody with gloves or with a Shema he is ha he was careful what he touched for good reason he was a very holy person so he wouldn't give Shalom to uh without uh he wore a glove or he had a towel that's how he did it now somebody else starts doing that to copy him you understand the difference I'm gonna start wearing a towel touch the towel yeah I'll take you to a doctor so uh was in Vienna so he went to visit he went with somebody to see him so uh belzare was was almost blind he later he became he couldn't see the baron the bar and Bowser so it said he was uh he was from the Gera family so hatsukobasa knew him I think he said he heard the story from so uh the laborator was a son-in-law then of the rabbit ayats he was learning in Berlin I think so anyway so the bill came to Vienna so he was there so he he touched them and he took off the towel and he gave him his hand and he said with warm hands so uh said about him he was given he was a Surah without a Heimer you know it sure is the body so somebody once they say that the Gary rabbit the base Israel came and he expressed sympathy on what he went through he lost his wife he lost all of his children he lost everything he remarried but he never had a child his brother had a child and died a year later and that's the president Belzer ever today was a nephew of nibhara The Baron's children were killed and then he remarried he passed away in 1957 of Zion the country so they say that the base is all expressed sympathy for everything he went through you know all the pain so they say he said I never had a bad day in my life and I've had a bad day in my life that's what they say he said what's shot Yeah by him it was true because he was a suitable he was at Surah yeah that's my point that's my point right the maggot somebody came to the music and said howdy could you thank Hashem for bad things like good things he says go to the position so he went to the position he stayed there for a few days he says what it brings you here so the market sent me to come to you to learn how to thank Hashem for bad things so he says you probably misheard the name he said no he sent me to you he said you probably heard he probably sent you to somebody else why not to you I never had a bad day in my life you got the wrong guy you know you want to know how to deal with poverty go to a poor person I'm a rich man and that's the market wanted him to appreciate that there's such a person in the world in other words understand if a person is completely nashama and the definition of life is a relationship with Hashem so how does he have a bad day in his life every moment he has a relationship with Asha how the relationship expresses itself okay whatever one day like this one day like that even then they could be tears the Belgium also cried but it's a different type of pain it's the pain of the world it's the pain of the shrin it's the pain of the fact that we don't see so much it's the pain of what many people go through that's also pain you understand a real oi of Israel has empathy for what other people go through himself I didn't know him so I I don't feel equipped to really you know answer that question and probably even if I knew him I wouldn't know him but I could understand if somebody's at Surah that they process things very differently they process things very differently how do Souls process things when they're not in the body not the way we process things some people come into a body but they're not the body is just like a vehicle it's like a lavortion it's like a suit it's like a suit I think I think when we say Hashem should have ends the blood it means something very special we said every Shabbos foreign a folk expression I think it means something very special it means two things first of all it means that the blood of every innocent person that was spilled is accounted for all the million and a half children that were gassed or the bullets in Ukraine the Holocaust by bullets in Ukraine every child Every Woman every man it's accounted for it's not just the Nazis come boom they never existed somebody remembers their blood and it's accounted for the blood is accounted for and who is it accounted for by not just by uh by by Simon wiesenthal Center or Nazi Hunters which is also very important but by the creator of the world himself that means it's accounted for eternally and absolutely the creator of the world himself says I'm gonna account for the blood of each one that's that's that's that's a statement it's a statement of how we regard life how we regard goodness our regard evil I think the second element here is this is already sensitive I mean there's a very sensitive idea and I'm not sure maybe it's not completely accurate probably this real feeling can help people move on am I responsible to take revenge from every Nazi in the world if I could I should eliminate as many as possible but what allows people to move on and live productive lives almost knowing that let God do certain things they say that somebody once asked to be on the synopsis one of the daily Israel very interesting question he said that the Christian Bible is full of love God is love love love love love love always God is love love he says in the Jewish Bible yeah God is very angry and he's killing and plagues and punishing huh yes there's moments after yes no question they drastically there's actually more than people imagine but it's fine I'm not going to mention all the sources but there's plenty of stuff right I will cut you off in a Sati when we just read it you don't have that in the in the Christian Bible huh the flood yeah God yeah so you said to be honestly our God is the god of love and your God is the god of violence Vengeance and War so goodness so he says to him that's exactly the point for you God is only love but sometimes you need somebody to fight a war so who fights the wars you need somebody to hate you need somebody to get rid of evil who does that you so you became bloodthirsty murderers for us God is the God of Wars who has to fight the war is God who needs to hate God who needs to do the vulgar so we could remain loving and there's a truth to that Hashem it doesn't mean we shouldn't eliminate every Nazi who killed the Jew and but it gives a certain manukas that the Jewish people had God will not forget any murder huh that was his point how many Jews were killed from Christians how many Christians were killed from Jews so he said our God we believe that God yeah he fights Wars he gets angry he deals with criminals you know what and we could be nice to each other we don't have to kill everybody by you what happened you're fighting for God so everyone every Jew had to be murdered every Jew didn't convert had to be we were talking to the times of the Christians were extremely violent the Crusades Etc the inquisitions and the the pogroms and we were accused of everything by the Christians and how many how many how much Jewish blood was spilled in the name of Christianity 11 he says when people say that the Christian God the Christian Messiah brought to miss mashirk to the world he says you know this is what mashiach looks like with so much blood and so much violence and so many of us killed you know we were hoping for a different type of gula I'm not sure I'm not so sure I mean you're right with for many years we didn't have power and obviously the Jews that when they had power did some nasty things it's no no need to be naive and and and we know about how many Jews helped Stalin and how many Jews were in the politburo and how many Jews were part of the Communist Revolution including our friend tarotsky I'm not here turning into every Jew into a saint my point is the Jewish culture let's put it this way Jews are committed to Judaism have a very hard time killing people let's face it and we're not here to say that they're perfect and Flawless people you know I'm not the one who is accused of saying that maybe I should say it more we know but the fact is that the fact is that the Jews who grew up with Jewish culture Jewish values it's very hard for them to kill people well we have to walk with guns in Israel we have to if we don't walk in Israel with guns and we don't protect ourselves somebody was telling me you know that the the Israel and and the Palestinians are equal they both do crimes so I said you know I'll just give you one I'll just give you one hypothesis and you'll answer me just answer to me honestly if Syrian Army decides to Mark to go on vacation to Hawaii for a year and Egypt decides to go on vacation the whole Army is off for a year and Jordan decides to go on vacation free and Iranian Army decides to go on vacation a year and Afghanistan and Lebanon everyone all the armies around Israel are going to vacation for two years do you think Israel the next day is going to invade Iran invade Syria control their people what do you think the truth is but now give me the opposite hypothesis let's say the Israeli Army decides to go to Hawaii not for a year but for two weeks what do you think is going to be left of Israel just be honest with that answer we think we all know the answer huh so what do you what are you comparing huh yeah and this is a fact nobody everybody knows this Iran would not be afraid that Israel is invading Iran and Syria won't be afraid even though we know what Syria and Iran believe about Israel I want for Israel if well it's not a week one day Jews put down their arms what happened at The Innkeeper War I don't think they'll be given six hours to breathe the fact that this is this Relic not not full but relative there could be some days of Serenity in Israel it's not because they're not trying people don't realize that if not for God's Miracles and the protection that the Jews created for themselves there would be every single day every single day dozens of Jews dead not one Jew does it every day nobody realizes that and unfortunately once in a while they're successful sadly people have to realize this it's not like oh once in a while they decide to do a terror attack every single day there's Terror attempts and you saw during the time of the the second and the father what was happening until they built a wall until they went back into Janine because Oslo and Gaza these were colossal historic mistakes that the Israeli government made that turned out to be fatal fatal strategic errors that they're suffering from every day how did we get into all of this you have to remind me I'm a little ADD ah Indiana this is the first beer this is okay we'll take a break here tomorrow morning Beijing will be a sheer also 7 want to try to finish the mimer okay have a beautiful day this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at triple w dot the yeshiva.net donate