Having A Good Eye (Judging others favorably - Pirkei Avot 2:9)

foreign [Music] so the first thing is is to have this good eye as a student and realize that just like you're expected to have optimism and your teacher your Rabbi is going to tell you to be optimistic and not to give up on yourself and not to uh give up on people and have a positive outlook on life you yourself also as a student have to have a good eye and realize that the world you're learning from is also uh growing it's also amazing it's also you have to give it the benefit of the doubt where if one Shield was boring for you it doesn't mean that all the shooting are boring if one book wasn't good it doesn't mean that all the books are no good if you didn't understand it it doesn't mean that everybody else didn't understand it or if you didn't like it it doesn't mean that you're right it could be that it was good you just didn't understand it enough to like it so the point is is to have that good eye yourself as a student the second thing is is to also being Tov is the uh is a good friend good friend obviously the rabbi is going to be a good friend as a rabbi that's going to offer you constructive criticism if you're not a person that is able to accept constructive criticism you should also you should already put your shama on retirement because anyone who does not want to accept constructive criticism which is the point of musar the point of hasidud the point of Torah altogether is to give you constant constructive criticism how to improve if you're not improving you're deteriorating if you cannot accept the reproofs the musar the rebuke whatever you want to call it you're never going to grow so if the rabbi is being a good friend that means he's going to have to give you from time to time a rebuke or two different rabbis have different ways of doing it some rabbis will do it through a story some rabbis will do it through a personal meeting and some rabbis will tell you outright some rabbis will simply do it to show you different experiences everyone has based on their wisdom and experience has a different way to teach you if you have that good eye that good eye is going to look for different things you're going to learn from everything from that Rabbi if you have a selfish eye where everything of the world revolves around you then even if the rabbi speaks directly to you and you're watching when he says something that's directly to you you're going to look at who's behind you because he must be talking to them there's no way he's talking to you so you have to be that person that has a good eye in order to be able to accept that good friend that is your Rabbi not a good friend that's going to uh uh give you a high five and uh allow you to call him by your by his first name which we already uh saw that the rambam says that if you call your Rabbi by his first name then you're considered an apicos according to Allah now the the uh enough it's a vote brings in this particular mishnah he brings a uh some different commentary and he says in regards to a good friend foreign comments in regards to loving your uh neighbor and being a good friend and so on and he says that 'll be Akiba says to love people uh the the love that people have for each other based purely on social conventions meaning platonic relationships friendships colleagues and so on that's not related to the Torah is absolutely worthless says now your average teenager or person that's not glued to the Torah even if they're uh in their 30s and 40s just heard this shut off the shoe and move down with their life they don't want to hear any more from abiakiva why I have my best friend she's my best friend we grew up together he's my best friend we play basketball together dare tell me that my relationship with my best friend is meaningless yes and he's right he's right the older you are the more you'll realize how right he is because you'll see that all of those best friends disappear all of those relationships break not because of pessimism because of reality watch reality why are they meaningless the slightest insult can destroy this so-called love and disintegrate all of the lofty ideologies upon which this love has been founded on the slightest threat to one's possessions or one's stature can turn the most civilized person into a rabid dog who attacks everyone and everything in sight including his friend an opportunity to get ahead monetarily or in Social stature can turn people into wild Bandits all social norms crumble like dust and fly away on the slightest Breeze so in essence in so many words our body is trying to tell us in the name of abhi Akiva that these relationships that you have your best friend your best partner at work or colleague or whatever it is don't put so much into it why relationship is really meaningless that love you have for each other this really doesn't mean much just like that can go away just like that why the second you have money that they want the relationship could this indicate said no no he doesn't even care about money okay fine the second you have honor that they want the relationship is gone no no he doesn't even care about honor I'm the chief partner any second partner fight the second he doesn't get the credit that he feels that he deserves meaning he doesn't get it or she doesn't get the honor they believe they deserve relationship is done just like that 20 years in the garbage why that's the way life is the second you violate their space in any way shape or form the relationship gun why that's reality that's reality of a world full of meaningless relationships that are based on some type of mutual interest at the time and not about the Torah says [Music] next time [Music]