Have We Distorted Torah & Chassidus to Make Ourselves Feel Better? Likkutei Torah V'atah Yigdal #2

[music] the yeshiva.net. >> Okay, good morning everybody. We started a mimer this week on Monday. Page 76 on top it says page 76 in the Hebrew it's the MA starts column 3 we're up to per bay. So we are actually on 77. Page 77 lit test column one chapter B in the MA. You see it's on top it should say what does it say on top you? Yeah, because the numbers in the every numbers start over again. So they start over. They're they're so it's a little so sometimes it's easy not to >> set >> in other words the first is so that's one set of numbers and then vayikra starts numbers over again from one and then starts from one again and from one again so that's why 77 could be a few times in the book every kish has its own set of numbers so here you have to look at on the top is estus Yeah, >> he's also from 77. >> Yeah, lame. It says lameess column one. Yeah, perfect. >> We're holding pic bay. We till we did till chapter 2. So today's class is dedicated by the yeshiva.net extends a heartfelt maze to our dear friend Ezra David Phillip on his engagement to pearl seg. We wish the kassan and kala maz of abundant blessings as they build a beautiful and everlasting home of dead with abundant blessings. Amen. And thank you for your friendship. Today's class is also dedicated by our dear friend who often participates in the classes in honor of the of his son Mayor David Haken Levenstein and his family in honor of the wedding this week of maz. So we're holding pic bays in the mimed right let's uh remember one of the main points that made one of the main points the beginning of the mimer was that this world is a world of misa it's a world of action the says and says The purpose is a action. And in the zar, it says that when one mitzvah is missing, the is missing a lush an essential indispensable garment that it would need. What is the what is them the idea behind this? So gives a long introduction that the this descent of the soul into this world is called before it came down it's called when it comes down it's called a mahalida means you're standing in one place because even though there's growth it's growth within the same orbit within the same framework it's more what you would call horizontal growth of course there's movement but it's movement according to the kale the parameters of the structure movement is not just you move from one place to another place. It's a leap. It's a true transformation that only happens in this world. And he explains it from a very deep spiritual space that all the worlds are basically channeling what we call malikal which means the divine energy that is suitable and is tailor made and is constricted and defined according to the vessel in the most beautiful way but it's limited to the chemistry [snorts] of that particular universe that particular creation that particular entity which hashem chose to create and fashion in a particular way so that a channels the light that it could channel according to its vessels and that's called mamal and all the angels and all the souls and all the worlds are channeling that and therefore even though there's growth and never ending growth but it's still within their kum within their vessels real transformation happens in haza dapka in this world where malikal is concealed it's the only world in which one can completely be alienated from their very chemistry from their very essence. As we all know, I could live my entire life estranged from me. In fact, it's very very common. In other words, this is the only world in which the actual light that's filling everything is obscured. So, there is also a tremendous gift. The conclusion of that is not that this world is just a wretched nebak horrible place, even though that's one side of it. It's a wretched, it could be horrible. It's a place of a lot of darkness and brings from that this world is called evil evil prospers here. Darkness prospers here. That's one side of it. The other side of it is that it's the opportunity. The gift of uncovering of kalman which of kalam is the pure ah in its purity in its pristine purity the infinity of everything in hashem's oneness and hashem's grip which is not defined or limited by any particular vessel he remains present I fill the heavens and the earth with my entire presence and every single crevice and every single nook and cranny of existence spiritually and physically is filled with that that's is I me today and that's why here there could be a transformation from one extreme to another extreme what we call chuva where darkness can be transformed into light and that's growing from the love of to the love of is with all your soul's capacity and is with your best is your best your ariness beyond finitess infinity the allow the accessing this is this is what mitzvah are what mitzvah are is this what's called an that's completely transcendent but here it's it's it's alive there's a real inner inner joy there's a complete vulnerability there's an openness There's an ecstasy because you're absorbed in the grip of of of a you are a there's two aspects two different dimensions in mitzvah. Now here usually just it's important to give the usually you say there's two ways of doing mitzvah this is going to connect very much to the previous m that we learned before after usually you say there's two ways of doing mitzvah one is you know that says people who just do things by wrote you wake up in the morning you brush your teeth you put on fillet You wake up in the morning, you uh wash your face, you go to shul, you d chakras. It's like part of the schedule almost like it's like if you do it, you do it. Why do you do it? I don't know. Why do you do it? Why not? It works for whatever reason. Sometimes people stop doing it. They get bored. And sometimes you'll encourage a person to do a mitzvah, what they call kabalas. What's kabalas? Accept the yoke. You show up to work every day. Why do you show up to work every day? You want your paycheck. What if you're not in the mood? Okay, tough luck. And then there's doing a mitzvah with passion, with enthusiasm, with kavana. What's kavana? Kavana is intent, presence. Just like in any relationship. I go to a meeting because I'm forced to go to the meeting. I have no choice. For whatever reason, I think I have no choice. Maybe I do, but I think I have no choice. Maybe I don't want to disappoint my parents. I don't want to disappoint my spouse. I'm already part of the community. I have a bunch of kids. So, what should I not do? Not go to Shalon Shabas? You go to Shalon Champas, there's plenty of people who go through the system. I don't have to talk about it at length. Everybody knows and it's it's supposed to make sense, right? You're married, you have a family. What are you going to do? You're going to move to out to New Zealand for six years and become a biker. You're going to climb the Himalayas. Maybe in another Gilgal. He says a lot of Gilgal. Maybe the next Gilgal you'll go to the Himalayas. But in this Gilgal, you're living in Muny, you're living in Tom's River, wherever you're living. You're living in Queens or you're living in Burough Park or all the other beautiful places. So you go with the system or other considerations that are there and then you say there's a person who's performing it with presence, with passion, with enthusiasm, with kavana. They know what they're doing. They're actually interested in the relationship. They're showing up because they want to be there. And everybody understands that the second is on a much higher plane than the first. The first is like almost I'm being forced or at least I think I'm being forced or I'm shleing myself. The second one is with passion and with depth. And this mime it's topsyturvy. [laughter] It turns around not but not because he extols doing something without passion because he's going to bring out a dimension in a mitzvah that at first glance when you don't understand it it looks like this is not exciting. But when you is the of it he's going to show that this of the mitzvah is really much more powerful. But of course like everything you have to understand the pimus of it. So that's what he's going to explain. I'm giving this context because you can get a little confused why one is much higher than the other. The first Indian in a mitzvah is why what are you doing that through doing it you're fulfilling the mitzvah of the king the commandment of the king right it's actually a quote from the migilla that's brought in some of the transcripts of the actually because this mime the alterb had was an unbelievable thing that this was said 220 when there was a wasab That's 1806. 28th day of 1806. So that's 220 years ago. Mamesh to the date almost, right? 220 years ago in a few days. 220 years ago Mameish almost to the date. Um to have things written up from then is very very unique. You see from all the other masters there's barely anything but had a lot of writers. So this was the unbelievable blessing. His brother wrote every mimer. His brother wrote every almost every single m if he was there. They say paid him for it. Alba understood. You see when you go into ecstasy you don't realize that the ecstasy is that nobody's going to be left with anything 200 years later. We don't have the rolling on the ground saying my if it's written down you have it forever. So the marel was the main and he wrote down every he was with his brother. He was a go on the marel. He has his own he was himself. He was a genius of a man and he the is basically the is mostly the mostly the mariel. His brother's his name was he gone. >> The whatever wrote himself most of it is gone but not what he said. What he said is not gone. What he wrote is gone. Most of the or huge parts of the were lost with a fire. That's a historic tragedy. Most of the a big part of the most of and parts of most of but a big parts not >> it was never printed. If it would have been printed it was inat was printed after his passing a year later and most of it was burnt in a huge fire. You know if this was a similar process that after wrote >> so it says in the in the when the printed in the title page he wrote in the introduction that alterba put his eye on many of them and even agreed it should be printed. So certainly many of them we don't have them with alterba's notes but many of them he looked at and he agreed it should be uh this but besides that had other writers his he had two sons who wrote my mother the had three boys his son who became the oldest and the youngest was the oldest and the youngest wrote constantly the and so and then the wrote his grandson isb had a daughter in and her son became the thirdb he also wrote and he had who wrote there was a he would write and of so sometimes you have one mimer and you can have four transcripts five transcripts three transcripts so and you could you could compare so actually you see so you get the full uh the full like color of the mime you could see they're all the same thing but everybody writes it differently the way they grasped it. >> So today with all the research they already know mostly eroded and once you learn it a lot you can already start seeing the flavor. Yeah. Theba everything is explained and categorized he always explained they say that alterb once said that the maharel says the writes what I say battle is the writes what I mean and the both he writes what I say and what I mean. That's what they say. The wanted very much the explanation was. And not only that, he doesn't keep to Hebrew grammar. He does Yiddish grammar because he wanted to keep it. So for example, there's things in Yiddish you write, but it's translated from Yiddish. That's why in Hebrew doesn't always fit. So you have to for example this you have here the real wrote it. Yeah. Alreb said a beard on the mime. So he wrote the beard also. You have the also wrote a mimer that's printed in my the red set. You have the same but he explains it. It's not so much longer but he categorized it. He explains it and then he writes also the beer. You have the also wrote with Hagos his own footnotes besides his footnotes on Mariel's mimer. This was in I mean already in leyadi. He was already in leyadi after his arrest. He moved to Liyadi. The second arrest moved from Lajn to Leyadi. He couldn't go back in Belarus. >> Samakov the second arrest was arrested twice. One was he came out and then two years later they arrested him again. He came out. So after that he moved to Leyadi. So this was already in Liyadi. And then you have the in later years said the his own mime already with a whole it's almost like 60 pages I'm mentioning this because it's a very it's not an easy m to learn last night I was looking at the different of the so one of the traits of the he says there um that the first of the mitzvah he brings from the migillah of course talking about not bowing down to why are you transgressing the mitzvah of the king. So the first thing is that you made and you do it. The second in a mitzvah is that you actually want to access the light of infinity and the divine will that is in this mitzvah because knowing that every has it has roots and it has foundations in the mountains of the holy of of the holiness. The word means that through the mitzvah elevates us to that relationship with kadusha. That's what you want through the mitzvah. Which one is greater? It sounds almost like the same thing. He says the beginning of the mitzvah should not be in order to access the light of infinity and the will of Hashem only that should not be that should not be the sole objective. Why? because that's almost like the mitzvah is a it's for an objective. It's like you know I have a school for you. It happens to be that this ghoul is not some you know guy in you know selling you something near. It happens to be a forem. It's one of the zoolas that we that we believe in. [laughter] It's a real or you could call it a rafu. Rafua means it's a real medicine. Now what's wrong with doing something for that? There's nothing wrong. What's wrong with doing something for a rafu? You need to get healthy. But he says you have to realize what it is. You're basically doing it for a benefit. I want to get healthier. I could get healthier physically. I can get healthier emotionally. Get healthier spiritually. That's what I'm looking for. It's almost like a business because you want profit. Why do you go to Why are you going to your work today? Why are you going to work? You want you want to be you need money in your bank account. Somebody has to pay tuition. Somebody has to pay the mortgage. Somebody has to bring food on the table. So in many ways and it's of course he's it's a very adal way of saying it but in many ways the mitzvah is a business. It's you're swiping a card in order because you want to get something not a bad thing. We're not talking a business to make to take somebody's money. We're talking here you what you want to gain isol holiness. What's this? It's like that's what everybody should be looking for, right? Much better than other things. So he's not being he's just saying but this should not be the only thing. He doesn't even say it shouldn't be. He just says it shouldn't be the exclusive thing. Why? What's wrong? This is not called avoid. This is not called real. This is called I get something from you. So of course I have to pay a price to get it from you. But essentially what I'm looking for is Yeah. When I'm going to to to to the doctor, I'm going to somebody who's helping me with I'm going to a trainer for example. Yeah. That's not really called avoid. Of course, I may have to pay him. That's true. I may have to pay a price. I have to give up my time or give my energy. I have to give him a paycheck. Whatever it is, but the is it's it's a pure b pure beneficial. That's not the real of a so what he says the says in you didn't serve. The mitzvah first and foremost is an of what's like isoid of a servant. The definition of an evid is that he fulfills the instruction of his master even without Tom. Tom here means reason but the word reason also comes from the word tom which means flavor which is why tom mean give me a tom. Tom tom means a reason but really it means a flavor right tomu. That's why it's it's a so here Tom means both Tom without that flavor and without that reasoning and that awareness the says in you should place on yourself a king. What does mean place on yourself a king? What do you take a king and you put it on yourself? It's a mindset where I'm accepting that you're my meal and because you're my therefore I'm doing it. That's enough. Yeah. But from this automatically that is what allows the to be present to flow into your life. Without this, what's wrong without this? What if you're actually a very spiritually sensitive person and this doesn't speak to you? No, I don't want this. I want with a flavor. I'm not chopped liver. I'm not an eet. I'm not a slave. No, no. I do things. We always talk about internalization, right? Individuation. I'm an individual. Like that's much better. It's much more this is almost like like if you okay like if you're really not in the mood because you're actually insensitive, you're apathetic, you're actually lowly, you're a you have no so at least do it like an you know checklist, checklist checklist like I couldn't care less. I wish I can get out of this job. It's almost like a right. It's not something [laughter] you want the person to have. There should be a sensitivity there. If it's not there, it means but here is saying you're here. It's opposite. Without this, you're not you're not anything. You're in your own dance. It's a nice dance, but you're in your own dance. You're not really mamlum. Why? Why not? Why not? I would think the other way on mamik much more. There's like a there's a there's a flow. There's life. There's vitality. The answer is because God is not who you think he is [laughter] in very simple words. Because God is not who you think he is. Because truth is not who you think it is. This goes back to what he explained in the previous chapter that the oneness of Hashem didn't change from creation. So anything that I'm with my heart and my mind is already a distortion of reality. It's only that there becomes otherness as we explained as we explained earlier. What what he's saying he says it very but we have to we have to appreciate what he's saying whatever is saying here is if you then of what really means you'll understand that that's the only real thing there's nothing greater than that anything you'll say about a mitzvah will pale infinitely in comparison just to the word that It's a mitzvah. Everything else there's a question. Sometimes when you add, you're just deducting, right? Says of an extra limb as added, it's not you're healthier. We all know in the body sometimes something is added and it's the opposite. It's destructive. Some when you add something, you're just ga it's perfect as is. There's nothing you could say about a mitzvah that's more powerful than that. It's a mitzvah. You say, "But why?" And not only that, we live in a generation, right? And this is why it's so important to to clarify what is saying. We live in a generation where so many of us have become allergic to this language because that's how they were educated. They were educated. They'll always say, "Oh, your grandfather was dumb. 3,000 years of Jews, everybody was dumb. Eastern Europe, NOBODY KNEW." AND THEN IN AMERICA, YEAH. he heard three things on YouTube and he became a philosopher. Right? And you're and you're beaten back into compliance and you say it was good for your grandmother. It was good for your great-grandmother. You're going to get Haba. This is it. And for many people that's associated with with with a sense of like like obligation, bitterness, sometimes even abuse, dread, for sure dread. And there's a truth to what they're saying. I mean, let's face it, there's a truth to what they're saying because uh I was once sitting with a few young alite. So, uh so they were talking about their questions in Amuna. So, somebody said when he was like 11 or 12, he asked his father um some basic questions that he had on Yiddish. So, his father said these are questions that a asks. A doesn't ask this llama. The word llama that's what goyam say llama. Why? Eden don't say llama. Yeah. For llama is good. >> Huh? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [snorts] >> Yeah. You don't ask a why. So I said, "And what did that make you and how did that make you feel?" Of course, that was my next brilliant question. How did that make you feel? So he said before I asked my father the question I had a 50% doubt that maybe there's an answer. After that it was 100% that there's no answer. [laughter] I'm like wow. You hear? So the father in his own mind was trying to help his child. What was he really doing? He was telling his child it's not 50% that there's no answer. It's 100% that there's no answer. Why? Because all your father can say is this is what a gentile does. In other words, you have nothing to say besides the fact of making me feel that I'm a horrible person. I'm a betrayal to my people. Yeah. So now it's 100% sure. This is what the person told me. I was like, "Wow, that's what the 12-year-old felt from the answer." He says, "Now," and he says, "And it's still that way. It's 100% sure that there's no answer. It was 100%. >> Say the same thing when he asked. [laughter] >> Yeah. It like reminds me they say that there was once somebody who considered himself rebel. He became a Reb of a community. But he would never say anything. He would never say any anything. And for years it went on. He would just sit at the tish and throw the food and sing songs. But he never said anything. So once he asked his gabbi, "What does the crowd say about me?" He said, "People like you." He says, "Tell me the truth. Does anybody say anything?" Like, "Does anybody say I don't know how to learn?" Like, I'm have nothing to say. He's uncomfortable. He says, "Be honest with me. I need to know." He says, "Some people say that." Yeah. Some people say that if you knew something, you would say something. He said, "How much uh how much percent?" He says, "50% says you're vist know nothing." So the so the Gabby says, "I want to suggest something to the Reba. Maybe this Shabas, you could say something so that the 50% won't think forever that you're he says, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." He says, "Why not?" He says, "50% think I'm not an Amarit." He says, "Yeah." He says, "If I say something, the other 50% will also [laughter] at least at least half the crowd still believes." Yeah. Yeah. So I'm saying all this because you have to appreciate because if not you're not going to appreciate the here. You have to understand the other side of it. Yeah. But just because kabalas got a bad rap because it's used often as a way of covering up insecurity or the fact that I never worked out my issues. That's true and we have to acknowledge that. But we will make a colossal error if we strip oursel from the gift of authentic. So you have to you always have to acknowledge the fact that very sacred words can be manipulated and exploited. That's how it is. Yeah. If your father or mother forced you to eat healthy food or forced you to do exercise, as I once wrote an email to somebody, it doesn't mean that when you're 30 years old, you should never eat healthy food again and never eat exercise, even though you have to heal from the way it was stuffed down your throat. That's true. But it doesn't mean that for the rest of your life, you should eat potato chips for breakfast, pizza for lunch, and cheesecake for supper. Don't allow people who because of their own limitations took concepts that are very sacred and manipulated them for whatever reason. I'm not even it's it's not it's [clears throat] not even about judgment. It's just about the facts. Don't allow yourself to be deprived from that for eternity because unfortunately it was presented to you in a way that was not very helpful to put it mildly or maybe much more than not helpful. >> Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe Yeah. Or maybe they themselves were beaten into compliance. They just, you know, they continued that path. Or maybe at some point they worked it out themselves. You're saying, which was amazing. And they didn't have the tools or the trust to be able to let you work it out. The reasons could be abundant. But here is revealing what the real of. It's not coming because I have nothing to say to you. So therefore, all I can do is tell you stop thinking, stop feeling. Nobody cares about your thoughts. Nobody cares about your feelings. You know, just fit into the family and give the family and the system and that's it. And and let everything work out and don't be a big and if one day you'll understand maybe if not and do your checklist and just show up. That's not that's not the that's not the and sometimes that can be very very unhelpful and sometimes it could be very destructive depends on the situation that already depends on the individual situation here the is so much different and that is that the real the real of a mitzvah is the only thing that captures it here becomes I I'm not going to say the most sophisticated thing in the world because it's not it's not not about sophisticated but it's something that's not afraid of sophistication or an intelligent conversation. You just realize that with all of your sophistication and even passion you will never touch the core essence of a mitzvah. So even a person who understands and appreciates and has the sensitivity of the depth of every mitzvah as he said every mitzvah has a of the in this mitzvah which is its character and its depth and its infinite wisdom even that won't come close to the of the mitzvah that it's that it's what he wants. Why not? So says because real is not something that you can ever put into a category. So the oneness of Hashem that is the true nature of reality. The mitzvah is giving you a gift to surrender into something that you don't understand. Not because I'm afraid of my brain. I'm not afraid of your brain. We can have we should have intelligent conversations. It's not it's not it's a big difference. There are things we don't talk about because we're afraid to talk about it because we don't have any intelligent thing to say about it. Here you could go through all of that. But as far as you go, as high as you go, you remain limited to the realm of your own understanding and even your own feelings. And that's beautiful. Your understanding and feelings should be used. That's what we call malic. That's the channel of God through your energy. This is where your energy is sacred and beautiful. But there comes a point where you feel grateful that you can let that all go and say, "So why are you doing the mitzvah? There's no why. I'm doing the mitzvah because this is you." And and I it's me. It's just me and you holding hands. >> Relationship. >> We're in a relationship. And the relationship itself is more powerful than any reason of the relationship. It's not like what what am I getting from you? In the first thing it's a business. It's a spiritual business. He calls it's very sharp words that he says. It's either agula or a rafu or a business. Why he gives these three examples? Interesting. Either it's agula. You have god is agula for you or he's a rafu which is probably already an elevated element like he's actually healing or it's a business meaning actually. You're grow tremendous benefit here. I'm not investing in your business because I'm foolish. I'm investing in your business because I'm smart. [laughter] Your business is amazing. You give great returns. Who gives better returns than Hashem? Right? as in the check that you posted this morning. Yeah. Who gives better returns? Yeah. It never goes bankrupt. It's not a Ponzi scheme. Where do you get better returns? It's the best return in the world. And it's he's not saying it's not. It's But that's not that's not going to give you the connection itself. Why? because that's all what I'm according to the capacity of what my soul and my imagination and my heart and my spiritual sensitivity gets and it's a beautiful beautiful thing because it's true but the purity of is in pure silence that's what back to the previous why is you remember says don't start with Madreas if you start with Madreas you can also fall very Iskafia is not just I'm a low life so there's nothing but scafia that's also true that if I'm in a very lowly space will save the day that's true but it's much deeper than that it's not only coming because of my loneliness it's really it's really what's in that space of the pimius is that anything in which there's an sense of I is actually depriving yourself of the relationship with infinity And that's the element of avoid here. Surrender becomes the most blissful thing in the world. It's not a surrender that's abusive. It's the opposite. It's the most liberating experience of the world of of life. It's the most liberating experience. The less reason the better. Not the less reason the better cuz I like cults. Because I I can't think because I'm afraid. No, I'm not afraid. We could talk. There's proofs. You could talk in the world of >> [clears throat] >> Yeah, in in the introduction of the second of uses a term that he doesn't use often pure amuna. So was a secretary of theat. He was killed in the holocaust. He was a big big very big person. So he once he said in Yiddish saying what's that's not what's pure amuna what's means um >> tempered tarnished like you know like you have a beautiful painting and you you scribble on it you know you pour ink on it right that's what means it's pure. It's pure. You're not using not because you're afraid, not because you we love is a divine gift. You can only learn with we're not afraid of we love is is a gift. It's it's a divine gift. It's an obligation to use. There's no to shut down your mind. It's a divine experience as long as it also knows its boundaries. The moment you bring into now you're doing an injustice to that's important to understand you're not just doing an injustice to you're doing an injustice to like you're giving a pressure that it's not supposed to hold like what don't have me take over the system like when people try with their to figure out life and poor tells you I wasn't made for this you have a mathematical equation I'll be here do you want to go through the tas I'll be here for But you you you're using me like you're using me, right? You'll come to you come to your therapist. You want your therapist to solve your diseases and your diabetes and and and and infections in your body. Do me a favor. I could barely do my job. Like too he's not God. What do you want from him? We The worst thing you could do when you turn your into God is you're not just you're not just it's not just a law. You're abusing your Sel. It's like it wasn't made for this. And you could see your mind starts going crazy like it's don't go there. Right. Huh? Yeah. It's so important this this is not a kabala that comes from you're you're you're a foolish person. You're just a simple thing. You'll never understand anything. Just do what I say and that's it. This a kabal that comes from all the work in the world. You could work through everything. And then it brings to a certain point and says you know what if you want to cross this threshold leave me by the door you'll be much happier. >> Yeah. This is the surrender that comes from the greatest strength in the world. That's what says without this you don't have a relationship. You're still stuck in your and your and your business transactions. Now you have to understand this is very courageous to say because he's not talking here the mitzvah in terms of a dumbed down version of the mitzvah. talking about the real spiritual depth of a mitzvah. But that spiritual depth of mitzvah won't take you to the oneness of precation where there's no eye. There's just complete oneness and a so the mitzvah is his gift to you and says here's me here's me. So you'll say but why I'm giving you me here's me. So let's just hug each other. But no, no, what is this? Right. So it's like wow, it's painful. That's why means not that the mitzvah is nothing. The mitzvah is a mitzvah, but it means in terms of the person's consciousness, they're not channeling the pure in a revealed way. Yeah. Yeah. Now a person could argue with me and say, "Rabbi, why do I just made this up in the mimer?" Often when I say a people say, he reads these words and he puts in to the lines what he wants to put in. >> It's my favorite part. >> It's your favorite part. But other people are very allergic to it. They're purists. And like some alterb said, said to be an eid. He didn't make it so romantic. He wasn't romantic. He said to be an evid means a slave. I called it a servant. He says that's also not true. The purists call it slaves. We all know about slaves. Slaves is not a romantic experience. There's a reason Link can abolish slavery. And here he's romanticizing slavery. Don't make it anything else. A slave wakes up in the morning and gets whipped if he doesn't comply. It's not transcendence a blah blah blah. THE EVIDENTLY AIN'T LET ME GO TO YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HE'S A WHIP. Don't make it to right. read like let's let's not make it so so this that's what he's saying he's actually being very tough I'm arguing with myself now huh I know I know that's why I'm talking about it [laughter] right means read his words you have to be an is have to nobody asks an in America when they had slavery unfortunately yeah why am saying unfortunately there was once a fabinf and the reb was speaking about Jewish Jewish boys in America not using Jewish names using non-Jewish names and he encouraged people to use their Jewish names he says for example Abraham use a he said even though Abraham was the name of a president of the United States who was one of the because he liberated the slaves still we should use a Jewish name so that's when said publicly that Abraham Lincoln was from publicly. So I'm just saying mentioning that. So now right do we talk let's face it slavery is a element of force. You're forced you're an eid that's what is saying don't make it that. In other words the mitzvah is you're forced. God is God and he's bigger than you and he's stronger than you and he's the boss. So if you could read that in the words right and completely not be is the whole of the how do I know I'm right maybe they're right whoever tites like this in the m so I mean it's not even a question because he's saying that's the only way you get to right when there's a whip on you and say you're in [laughter] that's the experience of the from where everything is is divine but if you see the next few lines you're right away see what he's saying. What's the next few lines is going to say that this creates the biggest in life. This creates the most the most you'll have is from this. So you right away ask yourself one second is this really triggering joy. What he just said and that's always the litmus test. It's always when you're learning about these deep deep levels ask go into yourself and say is this opening me up? Am I happy? Is there a deep celebration here? Because if not, I may be missing something very essential. Let's see what he says. There's a there's a parenthesy here from right after the parenthesis. A few lines. So what's the mitzvah? So there's no kavan and a mitzvah anymore. What's the kavan of a mitzvah then? We say a mitzvah should have kavan. You're just saying the main thing is you're inevit The mitzvah is to grow the joy. The says it's part of the because you didn't serve Hashem with joy and gladness of heart. Yeah. SO MORE than having the abundance of everything. So he's saying like this the greatest comes from the from the from this level OF MITZVAH MORE AND THAT'S the of a mitzvah is to grow the that it should be greater because all the he's saying all the means spiritual experiences that's spiritual experience of the greatest of was because only because of that's a very big statement He say and right here with this line is defining the difference between spiritual journeys of different categories what differentiates the is that it always came back to mitzvah. It never went away from it. And because it always came back to mitzvah, therefore they were accessing a scythe in its purity without their own ego insecurity and skeletons that creeped into their spiritual experiences and journeys. And that's why he's saying this all their was the mitzvah. And this is from one extreme to another extreme. There's a lot of people today who are doing a lot of emotional work and some of them are doing amazing emotional work which is necessary to clean up years and years and years and years and years of disassociation, shutting down, alienation, pain, grief, disastrous marriages, disastrous relationships, disastrous inner anxiety and turmoil and depression and pain etc. Yeah. And once you start going into deeper places it's very very blissful because the soul is a beautiful beautiful place and godliness is beautiful beautiful but there's always there's always a very deep concern and it's happening a lot and that is that people start forgetting that they have an animal soul. [snorts] They still have skeletons. They still have insecurities. They still have coping mechanisms. They still have survival templates. you still have what some people would call cobwebs that creep into the process and you don't always know how to differentiate and the moment you say but I'm already a prophet I I see God I hear God and now suddenly you can't differentiate between something that is still very very dysfunctional but now it's masked by spiritual enlightenment and this can wreak havoc in a person's life what's the litmus test so that's why a lot of people just like beat them back into compl clients just show up and stop all this craziness insanity. But that's not the em the issim have reached the highest places of spiritual consciousness. But what was it said? It was it was it says clearly inel that said is considered the greatest capitalist in history. And Darel saw that you know it says when he looked at somebody he saw all the of you talking about was uh was there's no words about yeah's whole system is based on I mean it's it's was the greatest of the great and says that everything he had he was through he said this to it's written down that heard it says that everything was what does this mean what does it mean that he's saying that he was that he was wasn't depressed. This is very deep means one in the that comes from complete B that's the that comes from the gift of surrendering everything to the point of I don't have to know anything even the mitzvah as a as spiritually brilliant which it is because every mitzvah there's a mitzvah you you could learn a mitzvah endlessly that's going to be the next piece is now going to go the opposite he's now going to go back the opposite It's the opposite thing. Now, don't worry. You're not going to stay here for too long. [laughter] >> Don't get comfortable. >> Don't get too comfortable. Exactly. Don't get too comfortable in any mimer. Don't like It's not a vacation spot. It's not a vacation spot. Yeah. Somebody once said, I was just telling no story in Tanakh ends up smoothly. There's no story in Tanakh. You finish a story. Ah, they lived happily ever after. Yakov and Asov, they lived happily ever after. Ysef and his brothers. Never. Every story is like right and the reason is because the stories of Kish and Tanak are not here to put you to sleep. A bedtime story has to end up they lived happily ever after. These stories are here to wake you up, not to put you to sleep. If you want to wake up people, don't let the story end too peacefully, too presently. So you could have the mitzvah with its endless depth. But Darizo says that wasn't audience is beyond what anybody could imagine that you could see. I mean if you read any of his brilliance and then you talk about his holiness his transcendence but said what was the mitzvah what's mitzvah? Well you're putting on filling okay it's a nice thing to put on fill. against you're making on chabas you're learning you're shaking the l of what's the mitzvah is the sim of the complete complete ego death in which surrender becomes the most beautiful blissful thing in the world now now let's so now let's go to the purists who are learning with purity and ask themselves a very serious question when you hear these words are you experience this ecstasy that says which is the whole of the mitzvah. And if not, you have to ask yourself what is happening. Yeah. And and any reason of the mitzvah is going to take away from the because it's not letting you touch the essence. It's keeping you stuck in a framework of spiritual ego. And that's why and just to say this very bluntly when anybody does journeys and ultimately it takes them away from mitzvah that's a litmus test that they may mean well and they may have good intentions. I'm going to say something even more. Some people who have been abused in the system may need some way of releasing the tension the the the pressure the abuse. I understand that there's a concept of appreciating where people are coming from and helping them navigate their crisis. Exactly. Sometimes and I'm acknowledging that. But when they turn into a whens in others from a place of strength and enlightenment that I'm smarter than the I know what know because I have my direct relationship. So it's not they're making a mistake because we need to beat them into compliance because we're afraid of independent people. IT'S LIKE, "OH MY GOD, YOU'RE GOING OUT OF OUR SYSTEM AND OUR COMMUNITY." THAT'S not the vert. That means they themselves are stripping away themselves from their own gift of surrender. They're allowing their souls to be hijacked by a very secretive ego that's now masking itself in the name of enlightenment. And it's a very sensitive thing and it should be I'm not saying it with judgment because I understand it very very well. There's a temptation there. You know, you grew up in a community where there was a lot of hypocrisy, a lot of inauthenticity, a lot of things shoved down your throat by people who just, you know, to say it kindly, were not worked out or never dealt with their own wounds. And you want to, you know, you want to let go. You want to, you want freedom to ring. I get it. And it makes sense. And it makes sense. And you have to appreciate that. You have to respect it and hold space and have compassion for it. But you also want to know the truth. And that is if ultimately at your core you're going away from mitzvah you're depriving yourself from the ultimate connection that you've been looking for all the time. That's just the truth. Yeah. With all your work you can now open up a and say and start crying. So now you're touching something. You could say and be present. You're touching something. You could put on fill in with awe and reverence. You could put on sites with awe and reverence. We we counter that by uh by learning and experiencing every day. That's the only way to counter that. [snorts] You know, we breathe. We can't live without breathing. But everybody knows that we could breathe with presence. We all breathe constantly, but we could breathe with breathing. You understand what I'm saying? Like I could do it with presence. We all show up for our children, but we could do it. We always do. We all do it. We all do it. We're not abusive checked out fathers, but we could do it with with sim with presence. We all show up for our spouses to some degree or another, but we could do it with presence. So, it's true. Anything that you do constantly, you know, is once IN 28 YEARS. I'M LIKE, you know, they say I once it was the he lived in Warsa. He was very very sharp and they went to Kdeshana one night Shabas and they were dancing dance after Kadesh was a big dance. They walked by a Jew from a very different camp and he was not impressed with the dancing after kadesha. So he says it's a blessing. What are they dancing for? Like what's the big deal? Every time they go to the bathroom, you should also dance. The ever heard him say this. So he looks at him. He says, "If you say once a month, you'll also dance." So I heard from Rabi that they'd say that for the next month the poor guy suffered from constipation and after a month when he made A was he dancing more than the dance for 10 years by there's there's a depth to that there's a depth to that right but just because you say four times a day right pause be present and actually say the blessing and you know the miracle of ashiatzer Anybody who suffered in this area knows the miracle of Ashar even for five minutes if he suffered right we take everything for granted I had a surgery on my eye now in the morning I say right he opens the BL OPENS THE EYES OF THE BLIND BIG DEAL NEXT I'M busy [laughter] have 100 messages to answer everything is that way presence and that's the key in life the key in life is every moment is a miracle every moment moment is full presence. I don't know why. Last night I went to sleep and I fall asleep usually very fast. So sometimes I miss ham. So I decided the first thing I'm doing is so I started to say and I wanted it from and then I realized I don't understand half the words here. I don't know why last night. So I actually decided I'm going to learn through the brah of ham. [laughter] So after I said already and realized that I don't understand it because a lot of rights you ever say it's an interesting braha. So I last night for the first time in my life 53 years old learned the blessing of and I was like wow amazing braha. I'm just sharing that's it. So the point is mitzvah is this is the its presence and deeper than any understanding of it is going to be that itself. Now, this tells us something really about every single real relationship because everything in our relationship with Hashem is reflected in our own life. As we always say, sorry. When you're connecting to somebody, if you're limiting the connection to having them explain to you everything they're saying and you understand the benefit in being here in this relationship for yourself, it's going to be a very very limited relationship. And you can understand why he uses the words because it's such a poor it's it's an impoverished relationship. It's not nothing but it's impoverished. Right? The key of any real connection is that I'm connecting to you in your rawness. Like you don't have to explain and justify like if everything let's say you're sitting with your wife or you're sitting with your husband or you're sitting with with anybody close to you, right? And somebody says and they share an emotion. Okay, it's a good example, right? Your wife shares an emot happens constantly in marriages. Your wife shares like a very vulnerable emotion and you're like doesn't make sense. And if it doesn't make sense, I can't accept it. And you start challenging it and arguing with it. What did you just what what just happened? You just missed out the opportunity of connection. Now, we do it because we're a little afraid. We want to like defend ourselves. We want to defend the other person. We want to help the other person. We're almost scared of rawness. Maybe I feel that I'm being accused. Maybe I feel that I'm not a good husband. But the beginning of every real relationship is when you could sit with the rawness of a person without the need to put it into any context. And you learn to do that even with yourself. So the alterb says there's a mitzvah has the rawness of a mitzvah. The rawness of a mitzvah is nothing that your mind will ever comprehend. So why do you you don't need it. It's not you're afraid of it. We're not afraid of reasons. You don't need it. I'm going to go back to the expression of the Right? You you can't understand it. You don't need to understand it. You don't want to understand it. I'm not afraid of understanding it. Whatever I can understand, I want to understand. That's why I'm going to learn. I'll learn more about the mitzvah. So now you have to understand there was nobody who revealed the secrets of a mitzvah like Dariza. Dariza revealed the greatest depth of every mitzvah. No question about that because he revealed the depth of every mitzvah. Not only is comes and said I was to everything from is explaining what did mean what did all these mean by you could think they meant because I understood it better than everybody else because knew what's happening in when you shake when you count anybody who knows a little of a on every single line of d every when you burnt every Everything darel saw the world as energy and he saw that every single mitzvah changes and shifts the energy of the universe and he saw it he perceived it he literally he lived in that frequency so I shake I shake next I count next I ate matzah fine I ate matzah IT WAS GOOD MATZAH not good matzah that's the only discussion digestible the m is bitter the m is not bitter how long is ailas press fine next that's how we I put on fill and I go on etc. The reason wasn't like that. He saw the world. He saw the frequencies of the world. He saw the world in energy. So you would think that was the sim is because I I know the secret. I know the code. I know the backend code. When you know the coding, you know, when you're a programmer, for those of you who know programming, which I don't know, it's like a different experience. You know, you look at the screen and you know what's behind it. I don't know what's behind it. I just see a screen. It's that's what that's for dummies. But you geniuses we have here a few programmers. So you geniuses you know the back end and all the gibberish you understand understood the back end of the program. He got it comes down to says that's not the vert. That's not what he was saying. That's not the vert. It's true. He understood it better. The sim was that he didn't understand anything. That was a sim. Well really why is that? What's the greatest sim? that you're a bottlene that you're inevitably you're a robot. No, that you're touching that you're melting into a cy and you you don't want you don't want to contaminate it with anything. You can't understand it. You don't need TO UNDERSTAND. YOU DON'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND IT. WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO understand it? BECAUSE WANTING TO UNDERSTAND IT IS ACTUALLY TAKING AWAY FROM THE INTIMACY. Why should I want that when I have to use my mind? I'll use my mind. Then I do want it. That's what God wants. Fine. I'm happy to use my mind. But why should I contaminate it? This is a cababala that comes from the greatest liberation of self or to quote one of the great people in this sh the greatest kabala is the greatest form of selflove BUT NOT SELFLOVE BECAUSE selflove like give me more love so that I could feel more validated with my insecurities that's not what we mean by self- loveve self- loveve is your most authentic love of realizing who you really are and what you really want The in the of the has an expression that the wouldb would always repeat. I don't know it was like one of one of the lines of the that he would constantly repeat and it's from the beard on this says this means that if would say if Hashem would have told us to chop wood it would be with exactly the same like anything else iron chopping wood there's no all of the lumbness of every mitzvah but it wouldn't be any So this is the this is the union of the mitzvah. This is what did chopped wood. Very good. They're very good. Beautiful. He chopped wood. Yeah. Maybe that's why he maybe that's why he gave that example. Beautiful. There's a story went and chopped wood and gave soup to a a woman who gave birth. There was nobody home. He left chul in the middle of Yamiper. Very nice. Say a good >> I'm just going to say this pushed in a very practical way in life. This heals all the abuse of kabala that people had with kabalas. When you hear the word kabalis now you can let go. It wasn't coming to to to crush you was coming to liberate you. The most liberating gift you can give yourself in your life is for two reasons. First of all, that even when you're in a bad mood [clears throat] and you're not interested, you could still show up. That's a gift. If I'm only going to work out from my from my health, when I'm in the mood, I'm depriving myself from a gift. If I learn how to be consistent and show up even when there's voices in me that are screaming, you ran away from come back. That's a liberating gift. It's a gift. Kabala is a gift. I'm not stuck by based on my moods because my moods are not always going to be on the on the best level. That's gift number one. Gift number two is much deeper. And that is even if you're in the most amazing mood, the gift of kabala is that the relationship is not limited to your experience of it. It's an opportunity to connect with in its purity. And the same is true in all relationships. Like we when we're connected to somebody, there's a part of us that wants to categorize it, that wants to make sense out of it, that wants to knock into their head like and it's really a defense. It's a defense system. It's almost like there's something that's triggering me and like let me let me make you rational. Let me make you logical. Can you actually just sit with the raw heart of the other person and you're good? And you would think it's you're kind you're sacrificing yourself, but really you'll see that that is the greatest bliss of a relationship where you don't need a why. You can let go of all the wise. It doesn't have to make sense. You'll notice you can only go into a relationship that way when you feel very very safe. And that's the key difference. This kabala comes from safety. Tremendous safety. If I'm afraid that I surrender everything to you and all you're going to do is manipulate me, I'm never going to do that and I shouldn't do it. You shouldn't do it. I told you told you in the last moment has two words after that. If God would have taken not taken them out of Egypt and split the sea, they should have not said nasma. They said nasishma because they saw what happened in the last few weeks. Nasishma made a lot a lot of sense if I'm allowed to say that. Surrendering to infinity that loves you endlessly is is the is the is the most normal thing in the world. Not doing that is a crime against yourself. Surrendering yourself not to that be careful. Of course you should be careful. [laughter] Somebody says I want you to move for seven years yet to Antarctica. Why? Right? Don't take this mime and use it for that. You have an agenda and that's the crime when people use holy concepts to justify agendas. That's you want to go out of the you want agendas have no problem. I also have agendas. Everybody has agendas. I got it. We have agendas. But don't use transcendent infinity to justify agendas. Don't use your fears and insecurities to be able to make yourself safe and use holy things in order to justify that. Don't do that. Say, "I have an agenda and I'm living with that agenda. No problem. When you want this level of surrender, it has to be pure. Very, very pure. If this is not a and it's pure pure essence and love, then it's a crime to say this to people. It is a crime. I'm just mentioning that. That's why the knew that if there's even a tiny breach of trust in the truth of it, it's a disaster because you're asking people to give away their if you're not if you're not without purity like go away. Like Monk told, you deserve it. Same thing. >> You took it away. You deserve it. It's not it's not a joke. This is very serious. [snorts] When Alreb was arrested, he was hiding in a bar for a whole night. So he asked if he should give himself up. So he said, "Yeah." He said, "Why?" So he said, "Man, if you're a Reb, a bullet won't reach you. And if you're not, you deserve it. who gave you a right to deprive hundreds of thousands of Jews. How do you do such a thing? You deserve it. You deserve to be arrested more than everybody else. You're teaching people this. You took from people away the Gishmaza. You told them the whole it's all that's the only real thing. Other people didn't do that. You really did that. So if you're not the real thing then you're much worse than everybody. So I'm saying with such a thing such an this type of kabala where he's saying that the greatest thing is no Tom no d you must feel you must know with every nerve in your body the the the the the truth of it the sincerity of it because if you if your nervous system doubts this truth for even a block drop it can't melt away into this. You can't you can't you have to be defensive. I'm not surrendering to somebody who's going to betray me. I'm not Why should I do that? I'm not going to do it. I'll never do it. So, this is based on a very deep trust. I told somebody a story the other day that uh when the fifth built yes in 1897, he opened up the yeshiva. So then there was custom was all the yeshivas everybody the brim ate tag. It was called tag, meaning you dormed at different people's homes and the yeshiva would pay at the end of the month and that way they didn't have to have a dormatory and a kitchen. Everybody lived in different homes and you came by day to learn and you went for lunch or for dinner to these places. I mean it was very very poor. Everything was poor. But that was the system. The said he doesn't want that. He wants that the yeshiva should have everything. They should have a dorm and a kitchen. This is the 1890s. So this was very very unusual and it was a very was a deep time of poverty. But that's what he wanted. will feed them and give them everything. So they asked why why do you have to give them like why they're coming here to learn you're giving them a yeshiva. So he said like this that's what they say that he said I have to give them everything. [snorts] [gasps] I one day should dedicate to Hashem their I'm asking them to give everything. So I have to give everything. You have to have skin in the cake. I'm not I have to give them breakfast, lunch. I have to give them everything. Don't if you don't want to give everything then don't ask for everything. No problem. I want a certain part of you. I'll give you a part. You know it's transactional. But wants everything. [laughter] It really says this there this because there's only oneness. I want everything. That's what you also want. So then you have to give everything. [laughter] You you you have to give everything. You have to give everything. You can't uh it's not a game. That's what was telling. It says in the the one spoke about this. He said that [snorts] when was victorious against the king of told him give me the 10 give me the souls and take your money because all the hostages that the the kings took from Ara liberated them. So the king of said all the booty is yours but I just want the souls. I want the people back. And a said, I'm not taking anything from you. I'm not taking a thread. I'm not taking other shoelace. I don't need you to say I made a wealthy. I'm good. You can have everything. Yeah. But every expression in is an expression in so that everyone spoke. He said is take all your money. I don't want your money. I want your soul. If you want my money in a way, it's much easier. I'll give you my money and you'll give me a service like always. I pay and you give me a service. No problem. He says that's the foresh you have to be able to trust. Okay, we'll take a break here. We'll continue the mimer Monday morning. So it will be a prop. This class is brought to [music] you by the yeshiva.net. 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